Shocking Family (2006) - full transcript
Produced by I Red Snowman
Producer JuA/oung
Nlusic/Ji-Eun
Camera I Se-Young
Photography I Kyung-Eun
Asst. Director! Ja-Kyung
Director I Kyung-Soon
Feminism, gender equality and all that.
But my question is,
do women work as hard as men
to earn the right to demand this and that?
I don't have a job. I don't make my kids
do housework, because that's my job.
But that doesn't help social progress.
Hey! Families raise good kids so
they won't cause social problems.
That's helping social progress!
But...
No, that's where you're wrong.
Don't be so judgemental.
How you're brought up
makes a difference.
And another thing that's important
is what kind of work you do.
If a mother lives right,
her kids will never stray.
I was totally thrashed that day
10 years ago
Press this, and the 'R' means
it plays the reverse side.
10 years ago, to get divorced, I began
supporting myself and my 2-year-old daughter.
Su-Rim, aged 4
(director's daughter)
I started making films, shuttling between
my mom's or friend's and Su-Rim's nursery,
and getting the hang of
living as a single mom in Korea.
Sit down and do it nicely.
Who called?
Daddy's getting impatient
to see his little girl.
Su-Rim's a good girl, right?
A tough and brave girl.
Since then, I've stopped watching soaps.
Half my god-damn life is a soap opera.
Friends say they envy me for having a girl,
that they admire me for being tough.
My head longs for progress, but
my life runs counter to that progress.
My family's peacekeeping rule
Mom's real mad. I've had it with you,
so you know what to do.
VWh a mom like me, Su-Rim's also learnt to
take care of herself, but it's not been easy.
1 took $10 everyday from Uncle's wallet.
What I think is...
Even if you're let off, you have to
return me the money you took.
You're gonna steal from your mom now
so you can return me my money?
She might grow up and
steal a thousand bucks.
That's a social problem!
It would be theft, plain and simple.
Yes, stealing's bad, but I don't
believe in the snowball effect.
All I'm saying is to solve a problem,
you have to look for the root cause.
There might be no solution.
You're saying if my lifestyle doesn't change,
there's no hope for Su-Rim,
she'll be a problem kid.
But I don't see it that way.
Su-Rim's habit of stealing did make life
difficult, but what was harder to bear
was the looks of pity and concern
thrown at the two of us.
But Su-Rim's a healthy kid. She doesn't
ace in school, but she's cheerful and honest.
- They don't have softies.
- What?
No softies!
This is better.
Wow, great looking eyes!
Let me see.
What?
But some time ago, she started
using the word 'family' pretty often.
How can you not offer me a single bite?
Help yourself!
You have to feed it to me.
Hey, you were sucking on that!
So what? We're family.
A family is...
Happy families make everything right
Healthy
Happy families make everything right
Authoritarian
Happy families make everything right
Father is a patriarch
Father of a family
Isn't that the core?
Sons, sons...
Men are physically superior
Sons, sons, sons...
There's law and order even in a family
Patriarch
Son and daughter
Patriarch Patriarch
The 'Mother-and-Child Shelter'...
Fatherless Fatherless Fatherless
...should be changed to 'Family Shelter.'
Gathering for fatherless families
A nation intolerant of diversity
I oppose feminism.
Social chaos
National chaos
State chaos
Chaos of humanity itself
It's the road to ruin
Difference between normal and abnormal
Once you marry, it's only natural
to give birth, give birth, give birth.
Adopted families
Gay families
Without reproducing,
the society cannot maintain itself.
The Healthy Family Basic Act is
an expression of national competitiveness.
An unmarried woman raising a child?
She's not human!
Highest sexual violence among youths
Where do you think kids learn to be bad?
Happy families make everything right
Family Creed Campaign
(Children's Day 2005)
Our Family
Honesty
Always Do Your Best
Diligence and Creativity
Filial Piety
If you fart often you eventually shit.
Likewise, if you have a family creed,
and you see it often, it's like hypnosis.
For example, if my family creed is
'Happy families make everything right,'
and you keep repeating it, soon you'll
hypnotize yourself into truly believing so.
Happy families make everything right,
happy families make everything right.
- I simply decided to leave.
- When did you make that decision?
- Yesterday
- Yesterday?
- Yes, right before I left.
- What pushed you to decide?
Seo, Ju-Hwan, aged 38
(married for 10 years)
- Nothing, really...
- Come on, spill it out!
You were bent on keeping the marriage
going, so why the sudden change of heart?
Something definitely happened to you.
Well, she said she'd sue
if I don't agree to a divorce.
Your wife? Why?
- She'll sue?
- Yes.
So her mind's made up?
I made a few mistakes,
even cheated on her...
In that short time,
you managed to have an affair?
Yep, I did.
OOPS, my spit...
- You've made more than a few mistakes.
- You can say that again.
My wife kept telling me
I'm fucked up because of my mom.
She said I only like women who
tolerate anything I do and spoil me rotten.
She hit the nail on the head.
Even the woman I'm seeing now,
at first I liked her a lot, until she
started nagging and criticizing.
I asked my wife not to let my mom know.
That's what she hated about my family.
If there's a problem, instead of trying to
solve it, we just keep it quiet and ignore it.
Public TV Campaign
Honey!
Ta-da!!
Thanks.
Wait a second!
It's cold out. Put this on.
I'm fine.
- Is it warm?
- Yes, grandpa.
Family, the warmest word in the world.
Honey!
Ta-da!
Thanks.
Honey, you're still sleeping?
Wait a second!
- It's cold out. Put this on.
- I'm fine.
- Is it warm?
- Yes, grandpa.
If only you were born with a penis.
Family, the warmest word in the world.
Shocking Family
Root of evil...
1st production meeting for Shocking Family
(78 Aug2004)
First of all, it's very interesting...
Hey, no empty praises, please.
No, it's really interesting.
I'm a beginner, remember?
Root of evil, I love it!
I left home to smash the root of evil.
- You left to break away from your mom?
- No, to get a divorce.
So first you created the root of evil,
and then you smashed it?
In away...
I empathized with everything,
but then I thought of my own family...
I've never gone as far as to think
my family is the root of evil.
My parents seem more like victims.
You hear stories of weird families and
either condemn or try to understand,
but once the story's about your child or
your parents, your judgement stops.
That's the limitation of humans.
I'm all too familiar with it these days.
But mom's living a new life now,
having an affair...
- She made such a smart choice?
- The best choice ever!
But my sis disagrees.
She curses mom for going too far.
But she's not even the type who'd
be satisfied even if mom stayed home.
Why do you think
your mom's choice was smart?
She's belatedly discovered
the human instinct for freedom.
She married early, was raised
to play the typical female role
Things like how women should
marry early and make babies...
Marriage wasn't a conscious choice
I recall her saying to me as a kid,
If only you hadn't been born,
I'd have lived differently, blah blah...
Korean parents' usual laments...
In a way your mom was brainwashed
by society to play the typical maternal role,
then she broke free and now
she's acting freely on her emotions.
But in my family's case, we've
completely internalized the institution.
It's become so much a part of us
that it's impossible to break free.
- That sound so sad...
- Yes, but my family doesn't think so.
They're proud of being the model family.
This isn't so thin.
You can wear it in winter, right?
Definitely winter pants.
- If you wear thermal undies.
- I guess so.
I bought it coz it's your favorite color.
I can wear it when I work.
That's why I chose a jacket
that's neither girlish nor boyish.
- It's a little short.
- Yes, short jackets are in now.
Had a hell of a time
finding something worth buying!
I didn't bring Christmas presents.
Had no time to go shopping...
That's OK.
We're an ordinary average family.
Typical Korean family, so to speak.
Not exactly typical,
but definitely a common case.
- That's right.
- My family exactly.
That's how 'Shocking Family' began.
Still shots of 'Shocking Family' crew
(4 Oct. 2004)
I'm Cho Se-Young.
Graduated from college 4 years ago,
currently 'Shocking Family' cameraman,
but still clumsy with the camera.
Terrific weather today!
Not a soul who knows the meaning
of punctuality these days.
I start getting mad, especially
if they get the place wrong.
Million Dollar Cafe?
What are you doing there?!!
It's no fun hanging out
with the girls these days.
Why is rent so expensive these days?
Room for Rent
Deposit $10, 000, monthly rent $300
Room for Lease
Deposit $30, 000
I left home 2 years ago to get away
from my family's interference.
It's nice having my own space
away from my parents' nagging,
but the monthly rent's killing me.
And why so many utility bills?
Is this the price of independence?
Se-Youngs parents' place
You must be happy to have all of us
home for dinner in along while.
Yes.
You're happy?
Cut it out!
Why're you filming me all the time?
Who are you gonna show that to?
'Amy's the Miss there not lifting a finger?
Hey, you sitting there!
Why aren't you helping clean up?
At home, dad's married to the TV,
older sis never helps with the housework,
and Mom spends more time in the kitchen
than winding down.
Mom has a job too. During the day
she looks after other people's kids,
and at night she looks after
her husband and daughter.
She's forever bustling around; the only time
she's not moving is when she's asleep.
But none of us have a problem with that.
In the old days you got married for money,
coz you couldn't support yourself.
You got married for money, too?
Well, I couldn't make a living. But now,
your dad's a jobless pitiful old man.
So why did you marry him?
He did earn big money long ago,
but he spent it on someone else,
and now he's living off me!
Can't stand the sight of him...
Why don't you leave him then?
Yeah, I should one of these days.
Simply put, the properties of substances
change according to their atoms.
Cho, Jang-Young
Se-Young's older sister
Having finished her graduate thesis
and gotten a job in a big company,
my sister's calling the shots at home.
I forgot to mention your name
in the afternote.
You should get a Master's degree, too.
Why should I?
It'll come in handy some day.
If you keep putting it off,
there'll come a time when you can't
go back to school even if you want to.
And it's easier getting a master's
in the Humanities.
- What do you want me to study?
- I've asked around
Business Management?
I'm not interested!
Anything's good.
Study whatever you like.
I don't want to!
Stop bugging me!
Dad graduated from a prestigious university
and retired 10 years ago from a big company.
Laos food won't agree with you.
Under-developed countries
aren't worth visiting.
Dad became an incompetent patriarch,
and the ever-resourceful Mrs. naturally
became the axis of power in my family.
When I got here the fridge and cooker
had been unplugged.
- Who pulled the plug?
- Don't know.
Probably your dad.
- The rice was cold.
- Which socket?
The one next to the microwave.
Damn it, it's definitely your dad!
Hey, Misterl!
Come here!
I was trying to make coffee...
He's always making trouble.
I'm gonna kick him out soon.
Mom says she's sick of living with Dad,
but there's one thing they see eye to eye.
My husband said it's a good idea for her
to apply to Seoul Women's University.
That university topped graduate
employment rates 4 years running,
among all the women's universities.
That would be education
Tell her Jang-Young got a job
with Samsung Electronics.
Look, Seoul Women's University's
your best bet. Don't think twice.
You're guaranteed a job once you graduate.
Look at my daughter!
Cheating during the college entrance exam
has shocked society once again...
College entrance exam for 2005
(Nov. 2004)
Good luck!
Flying Colors! Full Marks!
Success!
Only the best!
Good luck!
Prayer for college enhance exam students
Goddess of Mercy, Goddess of Mercy...
Prayer Service Schedule
for college entrance exam students
Heavenly Father!
Lord, make it come true!
4th subject
Oh my God...
Can't fly though 1 want to
Can't cry though I want to
I'd thought about killing myself.
My grades weren't that bad,
but whenever the exams came around,
I was terrified my grades would slip.
I thought death would be better than
this repeated terror all the way to college.
24 Feb. 2004, Kim, male Committed suicide due to
poverty and parenta! pressure to get good grades
28 Feb. 2004, Kim, male Committed suicide
after failing to make it into coflege
9 Mar. 2004, Lee, female
Left suicide note apologizing to herparents
14 Mar. 2004, Lee, female Jumped off 8th
floor out of despair over school grades
30 Mar. 2004, A, male
Left suicide note apologizing to his family
10 Apr. 2004, student president of a science high
school Left suicide note wishing his friends happiness
19 Apr. 2004, Chung, male Committed
suicide from pressure to get good grades
21 Apr. 2004, foreign language high school
student Hanged himseff at home after school
29 Apr. 2004, high school student in Seoul Committed suicide
when sent out of ciassroom for cheating during test
30 Apr. 2004, H, female Left suicide note saying
"I want to Seave the heH of private tutoring."
1 May 2004, Kim, male Jumped in front of
subway train after arguing with his mother
5 May 2004, Shin, female, middle school Hung herseff
in bathroom in despair over bad mid-term exam results
6 May 2004, high school student Jumped off
17th floor due to stress over upcoming exams
17 May 2004, Lim, male, middle school Left suicide note
asking his classmates to study harder for his sake
25 July 2004, Song, female
Was known to say she hated going home
In the 1st half of 2004 alone, more man 2O students killed
memseives from the stress of coflege entrance exams.
Society only pays attention after
something tragic happens or someone dies.
We came coz if we send text messages,
no one takes us seriously...
...that's why the whole thing happened...
Grown-ups say they were sick of
student demonstrations in the 70s,
so they want us to just study hard
and forget about everything else...
But in a few days, we put the tragedy
behind us and go on with our lives,
as if nothing happened.
That's life.
Su-Rims bedroom
Sa-Young is stupid
Su-Rim(aged 13, 7th grade)
Kyung-Soon's kid
You spelled my name wrong!
Se-Young is stupid
That's the way you spell Se-Young?
Months later, Su-Rim's still at it...
Sa-Young is stupid
Mom is stupid
I've told you a hundred times,
that's the wrong spelling.
Honestly I can't last 10 minutes in her room,
but I envy her carefree way of life.
Kyung-soon's office
Kyung-soon(aged 43)
Su-Rim': Mom
Kyung-sooné forever complaining
about how messy Su-Rim's room is.
But does she really want her to clean up?
You're filming the room again?
Isn't it the pits? A pig sty!
You can't see the floor!
About a mother who left her child
on a heap of garbage?
Really?
Hey, are you listening?
How come your room's
the same now as in this shot?
Don't you think you're too much?
The way these two live looks OK to me
We'll go to the hairdressefis and
get it done the way you like it, OK?
But there are times when Kyung-soon
turns arbitrary with her daughter.
She looked out of style,
so I gave her a nice haircut...
Out of style or not, it's MY hair...
You're right, but...
You look really nice, I tell you.
Don't be silly
You're always saying that
Look, all the aunties say you look nice!
Doesn't she look nice?
- How would you like it if I cut your hah'?
- Go ahead!
I'll take you to the hairdressefis
tomorrow, OK?
She was wrong to cut Su-Rim's hair
when the kid didn't want her to.
But now she's doing all the shouting,
stubbornly refusing to admit she's wrong.
When she's like that,
she reminds me
What's with all the world's moms?
Who do you think you are?
What do you take us for?
What's with you?
What's got you so mad this time?
I'm not mad! You breeze in whenever
you like and take all sorts of stuff.
Who said you could take them?
This is what actually happened
Hey, take this kimchi.
See if you like it.
Want some chilli?
- Is it hot?
- No, it's mild.
OK then!
This looks delicious.
She packed all mat food for me
And now she's bitching at me
for not earning enough money
You should save at least
$1000 dollars a month...
what?!! You think I earn like what,
about $30,000 a year?
You should be, at your age!
I sent you to college, didn't I?
Thee are thousands of
college graduates out there...
Empty-headed idiots
sitting around doing nothing...
Return me the money I lent you!
It drives me nuts, the kind of
conversations I have with mom.
At least now she just yells,
but when I was younger, she beat me.
Even now, when she gets mad,
my body automatically gets tense
in expectation of another beating.
The harder I try, the more I find it
impossible to become close to my family.
She picked me up and threatened
to throw me out the window!
I had the same experience once.
No, about two or three times...
3rd floor's high enough, thank you.
- My mom's really beautiful and classy.
- The perfect woman.
Women should never become
full-time housewives
Great looks, superb upbringing,
real smart.
But I was beaten till I bled
from the time I was born!
I asked her once why
she beat me when I young.
She said she was having a hard time!
It had nothing to do with me!
If she loses money at cards,
she'd beat me even harder.
But she's forgotten it all.
I was caned till I was 30!
I have to tell my mom. Seriously,
not just for the heck of rebelling.
But how? The most effective way
would be different for each mom.
But no matter how you do it,
your voice must come from your gut.
It has to be full of grief and anger.
I had to drive a nail into her heart.
Me, her daughter.
But there's no other way.
It's been 50 years and I still
can't bring myself to do it.
I feel sorry for my mom.
You know the classic paradigm
of the self-sacrificing parents...
But it's bullshit, state propaganda!
And we know it!
We can't apply a single paradigm
on the diversity of today's families.
I can't forgive her if I think of her
as my mother, but as a human being...
You're absolutely right.
That's where the importance
of individualism comes in.
- You feel a sense of solidarity?
- Well, we know how the other feels...
You were the first person to pop into
my head when I heard that story!
I know what you mean.
But as you grow older the violence...
The same violence feels different
as an adult and as a child.
Right.
As a child, it was extreme terror.
You know what you said about how
you're becoming more like your mom?
What's the point of denying it
when everybody says so?
I won't try to defend myself,
but I do tell myself to be careful,
so I won't take after her faults.
Losing my temper, for example.
I know I shouldn't blow my fuse,
but it's hard when I'm boiling mad.
It's like you blowing your top after
struggling to ignore Su-Rim's mess.
I think the difference is
how close you are to that person.
- The way you express yourself...
- But of course!
That the way moms are. You don't
see them abusing other people's kids.
How come you're shooting just me?
I'm just exercising.
Kyung-Eun
photographer, 'Shocking Family'
Kyung-Eun
photographer, 'Shocking Family'
Today I went with 'Shocking Family' crew
Kyung-Eun to visit her son.
Hannam-dong, please.
She and her husband had been inseparable
before marriage, but they're now separated.
Come to think of it, women are
forever moving from home to home.
From her father's to her in-laws' home,
and then on to another home.
My little puppy!
Give mommy a kiss!
Yoo, Tae»Hyuk(aged 5)
Kyung-Eun's son
You've stopped coughing?
- Your colds better now?
- Don't know...
You don't feel like talking to Mommy?
Don't know if the cold's better,
but there's still some medicine left.
- I see... Happy to see me?
- Yes
- Want me to come see you again?
- Yes
But next time come with Daddy.
- You want me to come with Daddy?
- Yes
But Grandma will get mad,
coz you don't live with us anymore.
We don't live together.
We don't ride the same car
Then it's better if I come alone,
then Grandma won't be mad at you.
I guess...
Then why did you want me
to come with Daddy?
We don't get along, so if we lived
together, we'd fight all the time.
But it's not your fault, honey.
It's between Daddy and Mommy.
You know that, don't you?
You know the yellow batman?
I've got batman cards too!
I'll buy some more for you.
- It's lunch time
- Let's go eat
Let's go, TaeHyuk.
Did you say goodbye to Mommy?
Go have lunch, honey.
I'm going back to work.
Mommy, see you soon.
- Come with Daddy next time.
- With Daddy? OK, I Will.
Wasn't he shy at first?
Who? Tae-Hyuk?
No, he came running to you.
- You think so?
- Yes! You didn't see him?
It wasn't enough for me.
I thought he'd be happier.
He seemed happy, but I felt strange.
Maybe because of the way he talks...
Ha ha. The way he talks?
He'd talk about us one moment and
then about batman cards the next...
Well, I'm like that too.
Jumping from one topic to another...
Are all kids like that? Can't remember
if he'd been like that before.
Maybe...
Could her problems become mine one day?
Marriage... Yucks...
Don't even want to think about it.
'Shocking Family' crew camping trip
(28 Aug. 2005)
Being ashamed of your divorced parents...
Normal versus abnormal...
They know what's going on,
so can't they be honest for God's sake?
Family members don't look at each other
as individuals with their own lives.
It's 'we' this, 'we' that,
we're just one big family.
Like shackles in a way.
So where did such standards
come from in the first place?
I wish people won't talk behind
my back just because I live differently.
It's not wrong, just different...
My mom just sent a text message!
Darling, what R U doing?
How's weekend? How's boy?
She keeps asking about the boy
as if he lives with me...
When she knows he's not with you?
It's her way of needling me.
But it doesn't bother you?
It does, makes me miss him...
You OK with your story being on film?
You mean do I feel comfortable?
Well, lots of people will know
about your life and all...
I think I've healed a bit by now...
A little... like 2%.
Kyung-Eun's place
I live alone.
It's half basement,
with a monthly rent of $200.
But I love having my own space.
I can let the dirty dishes pile up,
fart loudly whenever I like,
and eat when I feel like eating.
The best part is having my own darkroom.
My favorite picture...
From young,
I dreamt of having my own space.
But my family was poor,so I realized early
that it was a frivolous dream,
but I kept dreaming anyway.
Now, having left both husband and child,
that dream's finally come true...
I refuse to be blue today.
It's my birthday after all.
I'm gonna smear this on you!
Happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
The crew live in the same neighborhood.
So we meet up at Kyung-Soon's place
every chance we get,
to eat, dance, have meetings.
Just being with like-minded people
is in itself happiness for me.
- I got a haircut
- We noticed.
- You like?
- It's pretty.
- Really?
- Cute and sassy.
It's just you guys who say it's OK...
You have to wet it to be sure.
- I cut a lot off!
- It looks fine!
Everything was going great,
until Kyung-Soon got herself in big trouble.
We'll go to the hairdresser's and
get it done the way you like it, OK?
She looked out of style,
so I gave her a nice haircut...
Out of style or not, it's MY hair...
Su-Rim stroke back wildly
Why do you care about my body so much?
Well, it's not yours after all, is it?
I hate when everybody stares at me.
Kyung-Soon slowly bailed out...
- My daughter!
- You're my girl now...
Of course you look pretty.
The prettiest girl I know.
You be my girl, Tae-Hyuk be my boy,
and we'll all be happy...
I really envy Kyung-soon for
living with her cute daughter.
Su-Rim gave me this...
I met Kyung-Soon 2 years ago.
Two years ago
I got a job about a month
after the wedding.
Sometimes I'd get together with colleagues
for a couple of drinks, and get home late.
One night, about 10, I was having
dinner with drinks when he called.
- He demanded I come home.
- Your husband?
Yes. He said, It's already 10!
What're you doing still out?
I said, It's ONLY 10! What's the problem?
It's not like it's 10 in the morning!
I went home, and all hell broke loose.
I was told to pack up and get out.
- Who?
- My mother-in-law!
She said,
You call what you brought a dowry?
My friend's daughter-in-law bought her
a sofa and mink coat, blah blah...
Your parents got divorced, so that's why
your upbringing's so lacking.
She was slandering my character,
cursing over nothing.
I was really hurt, so I shot back,
I married into this family at 23
and it's not been easy for me either,
making breakfast 6 times every morning.
What am I?
A kitchen maid?
If my husband had taken control, or
at least taken my side, it would've been OK.
But he was on his mother's side.
Saying thing's like, Mom has the right,
coz she's lived a hard life,
- So you try to understand her?
- Exactly!
So I had no one on my side
from the beginning.
There were many incidents like that.
I often locked myself in and cried.
I'd cry on the streets, and when no one
was home, I'd wail in the bathroom...
I once cut myself with a penknife.
It was this long, but now it's faded a bit.
And my husband was there the whole time.
- He didn't say anything?
- Nothing! He just watched!
Once, I said, What am I to your family?
What's the point of living?
Then I swallowed a bunch of sleeping pills.
And again he just watched!
Why?
I knew I wouldn't die, but at least
I'd be asleep for a couple of days.
At least I won't wake the next morning.
Or so I thought...
But at 6 the next day, when it was time
to make breakfast, my eyes just opened!
What the hell...
I was gagging, so I threw up in the toilet,
and just sat there and cried my eyes out.
I should've been knocked out for at least
one day, so they'd take me to the hospital!
But I awoke at 6, damn it! If I hadn't,
at least I wouldn't need to make breakfast!
But I was up, so I had to cook as usual.
A few months back, I asked my husband,
Don't you remember me attempting suicide?
And he said he didn't!
He couldn't recall a thing!
Really?
He didn't remember me
taking sleeping pills.
I thought, Maybe it's like the way
people try to erase bad memories.
Maybe he didn't want to remember.
How long have you been married?
- 7 years.
- That's long!
- She got married at 23.
- And my boy's 5 now.
Right. I thought when you said
just now about a month ago...
How did you manage to
live with him for 7 years?
- My baby was huge. 4kg at birth
- Mine was 2.5kg
And I put on 25kg! I was huge, the baby
was huge, so my stomach was this big.
Even now, my stomach
looks like a washboard.
- Let's take a look!
- This whole bit's like a washboard.
It was hard enough getting used to
the institution of marriage,
but within that institution,
I had maternity thrust on me as well.
Marriage was hell, but
the maternity myth was worse.
I read somewhere about a woman
who confessed that she felt her child
was gnawing at her bit by bit everyday.
It's exactly how I felt.
Like the baby was eating into me.
If I'd had a better relationship
with my in-laws or husband,
maybe things would've been different...
A friend asked me, What's your dream?
I said, My dream is getting divorced.
I longed for it with all my heart.
I still do, of course, but...
It's not exactly divorce I want.
What I want is plain freedom.
Street campaign for the abolition
of the hojudamiiy head) system
The anti-hoju campaign that began in 1998
gave hope to many women victimized by
the chauvinistic, patriarchal culture.
Those who led the campaign
spoke for countless fellow women.
Oppression based o
family, lineage, bloodlines...
It's a lie to claim only men sow seeds
but when that lie is backed by power,
it's difficult to break.
Change, change, change everything...
Women's Festival Korea
(10 Oct. 2003)
A woman tortured to death for defending
this country that men couldn't defend!
Why isn't her picture on our bill?
The world seems made up not of people
but of human beings and women.
Women can't find jobs, they're trampled on
even in public officialdom,
and men hold all the important posts.
Even when a couple both work,
the wife has to do more housework.
Lots of men still think of housework
as the wife's responsibility.
Once you marry, you're no longer human,
especially as a daughter-in-law.
You're the lowest in the family,
nothing more than a servant.
Korean proverbs belittling women
Rally opposing the abolition
of the hoju system (75 Feb. 2005)
I pay tribute to your patriotism
in coming from all over the country
to show your commitment
to protecting the hoju system.
What about the moral laws
governing parent and child?
What about the bloodlines and genealogy
that have stood the test of 5000 years?
Long ago, the mistress of the house
held the keys to the storeroom.
Today,
wives still hold the bank accounts!
That's right!!
Isn't that enough respect for women?
Stop messing with the hoju system!
Oppose Revision of Family Laws
We Oppose
No to abolition of hoju system
Gender equality is bullshit!
Moral laws still apply!
Even dogs have pedigrees
Families breaking apart!
No to abolition of hoju system
It's students controlled by North Korea
who want to abolish the hoju system
No to abolition of hoju system
From the time he's born, a man must
manage his health, wealth, woman, family
and his culture. If he loses all that,
he's no different from a dog or a pig!
Even a dog needs a pedigree
to prove its worth!
A father feels obliged to his child, because
he registered the child in his genealogy,
gave the child his surname,
and he knows the child is his.
So he works hard as the head
and breadwinner of his family.
But if he's not the head of the family,
and the child doesn't use his surname,
he'd feel that he's being used!
Not the family head, nothing!
He'd think, Is this child really mine?
Where do their conviction come from?
Sometimes I get scare myself
when I'm moved to tears by the myth
that such conviction has generated.
Laudable mothers of artists
Parents' Day 2004)
Mothers who raised excellent artists
through self-sacrifice and dedication...
She got her daughter to learn Korean dance
at age 5, then to switch to ballet at age 10.
When her girl came to Seoul to become
a singer, everyone in the family opposed,
but she was on her daughter's side,
supporting her and respecting her dreams.
To send all 4 children to college
and take care of her old mother,
no job was beneath her,
even selling fish in the market.
Can you imagine the hard life she led...
Wrinkles on her once smooth forehead
Her dedication is higher than the sky
- quote from former Minister
of Culture & Tourism
These artists owe their fame
to the love and sacrifice of their mothers.
She ran out of the house when
the baby was not even a year old.
- Wait, I think I told her to leave.
- Can you imagine how she'd felt?
I yelled at her to get out.
I yelled at her for the first time.
- Why?
- She badmouthed by mother.
I'm a macho, and machos may put down
other women, but never their own mother.
That's why most machos
are mama's boys!
Our feelings towards our mothers
are stronger than any religion.
Where does this faith of putting
your mom on a pedestal come from?
From my mother herself.
We've seen how she's lived all her life.
So my brother and I both know...
- ...how her whole life...
- She sacrificed everything for you?
Seeing how she gave her whole life
to looking after her husband and kids?
That's right.
- That's the life she chose.
- It's HER choice.
My wife's point is that she's different from
my mother, that she's a separate individual.
- Yes, your mother chose...
- But my wife's mother...
she lives her own life,
she's her own woman.
- You're saying your wife's like her?
- Right.
She grew up watching her mother
and now she's living the same way!
That pisses you off?
Not exactly, but it was a sore point.
And my mother-in-law remarried, too!
As a man myself, I'm sure
my father-in-law would've hated that.
But he's dead!
- Yeah, but...
- But what?
He'd been devoted to his wife and girls!
If I were him, I'd feel betrayed.
I was hurt on his behalf, and I thought,
Fuck, even if I devoted my life to her,
she'd remarry if I die before her!
In the end,
my mother's my only haven.
She's not a woman in the sense that
I don't have to play love games with her.
So I always end up taking her side.
Not because I'm mama's boy, you know.
I'm so fucking disobedient!
I even got divorced against her will!
Fucking obedience isn't what
makes you a mama's boy.
It's how you deify your mother.
In that sense, you ARE a mama's boy.
You think?
Tae-Hyuk's kindergarten concert
(19 Feb, 2005)
- V\/here's Tae-Hyuk?
- In the front row waiting his turn.
- They all look the same! I can't find him...
- There's Tae-Hyuk
Yoo Tae-Hyuk (aged 5)
Kyung-Eun's son
My husband's mother raises TaeHyuk now.
I worry he'll grow up to be
a mama's boy like his father,
but for now, I'm grateful
just for being allowed to see him.
My husband insists I shouldn't see my son
once we get divorced, for the boy's sake.
That's why
I've yet to sign the divorce papers.
'Red Snowman' office
Mapo-go, Seoul
I think I've become stronger, but I'm still
too uncertain and timid to take on the world.
I want to let it out, but I'm still
too used to suppressing my emotions.
Something happened in the taxi today.
The driver made sexual insults
about the scar on my arm,
but though I was mad, I couldn't react.
I always belatedly fume inside.
I hate myself for being like this.
You could just let it go.
I got his number.
- His name too? How?
- Yes. Sec Jung-Woo
- I rang the call center.
- They told you his number?
- I said I left something in the cab.
- How kind...
What do you think I should do?
- Kill him for me!
- Kill him?
You want to call him?
Or confront him face to face?
- Call and demand an apology?
- Or you could talk to his boss first.
Call and demand an apology...
- Apology...
- Yes
Your license plate's 5829, right?
I got on at Sogang University.
Remember me?
Why I got angry?
You really don't know why?
You don't understand?!!
Mister! You call that a joke?
Whether I have scars or burns,
it's none of your business!
What's it to you what scars I have?
But remember what you said?
"What kind of woman goes around
with ugly scars on her arm?"
Then you scratched my arm!
How can I not be insulted?
How can you not understand?
What do you mean you
didn't think I'd be offended?!!
'Shocking Family' crew climbs Mt. Jiri
(14 Nov. 2004)
My wife said to me,
"You'll never change.
My wife said to me,
"You'll never change.
You'll traipse through life doing art or
whatever you damn please, so let me go."
She's right. You won't change.
People don't change easily.
They don't. I know myself.
So the best you can do
is agree to the divorce.
Sometimes I'm quite opinionated
Men and women are physically different.
So they have to play different roles.
- Have you ever initiated sex before?
- Is that so important?
Yes! Men even dominate sex.
Well, these days there're many couples
who aren't like that, but I think
chauvinism intrudes in bed as well.
And it's internalized in the family.
Education, desire, all our needs,
they must be met within the family.
That's what society expects.
Sometimes I even preach
- ls there someone you love? A man?
- Nope.
- It's been a while?
- A long while...
You don't feel lonely sometimes?
No, but sometimes I miss the sex.
But now I masturbate instead,
so I don't feel inconvenienced
just because I'm single. Honest.
And I even lie
I do get lonely sometimes
But I don't want to remarry or
subordinate myself to someone.
I want someone who accepts me
for who I am,
someone I can meet and have sex with
only when we both feel like it.
But the world tells me
there's no such relationship.
So my dream remains just a dream.
When I awake from that dream,
I see two cats and Su-Rim.
Su-Rim's current craze is the singer BOA.
Su-Rim
Kyung Sean's daughter
You're not getting up?
- Wanna sleep some more...
- Wash up!
Take a shower!
You can hear that?
She's already in 7th grade,
and I've made 4 films.
She doesn't like my films.
Of course, I don't like BOA either.
On top of that,
we differ politically.
Reunification will ruin our country.
You don't want reunification?
You don't like the idea?
- I decided I don't like it.
- Why not?
Coz then I can't listen to BoA's songs.
How about this?
You starr in my film.
You'll debut as an actress in my film.
As if the president of BoA's company
would come to see your film.
Why not? I'll invite him!
- Really??
- Of course!
- You'll invite him??
- Definitely.
- How?
- I'll call him.
You know his number?
You don't!
How much did you take
from my wallet?
How much?
How much is your allowance?
- How much?
- $3“.
" What?
" $3“.
No matter how free a parent-child
relationship, it's a power relationship.
And the core of that power is money.
But there are many needs that
neither power nor money can fulfill,
in this world and between Su-Rim and me.
Such needs have always been filled
not by my family but by my friends.
To your school life!
Next, uncle!
To my graduation concert!
OK, enough!
Bottoms up!
I want that too, uncle!
- I'm painting my toenails!
- Toenails? After this dries...
I'm sending this video to the TV station.
'The Take on Special Families!'
Wherever I go with my friends,
Su-Rim's always with me.
We have English lessons twice a week,
and even our tutor Vincent has gotten
used to Su-Rim's sudden appearances.
She looked out of style,
so I gave her a nice haircut...
Out of style or not, it's MY hair!
You're right, but...
You look real nice.
Your hair looks better short
than long with pins stuck in it.
Hairpins didn't go well with you.
Your face is too nice to cover up.
Right, such clean-cut lines...
You look perfectly fine.
Look at her tummy!
Get it on camera!
Yours is nothing.
Look at auntie's tummy!
You're overdoing it!
Sorry, sweetheart! Oops!
I'll take you to
the hairdresser's tomorrow.
You went too far.
What's this? You said just now
that she looked pretty!
You have to layer it,
but you just chopped it off!
You should've been careful.
You went too far.
Thinning won't work.
Not if you do it right!
But you didn't!
It looks so DIY!
She'll hear you.
Insisting her old hair was out of style...
We were embarrassed for you!
Thanks to my friends, Su-Rim is
cheerful to the point of brazenness.
Hurry up and sign!
- Is this your handwriting?
- Yep.
Fetch me the pen.
- Auntie, pass the pen!
- No, you fetch it!
She had the cheek to fill up
this parental permission slip herself!
- When do I pay?
- by tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
- Yes.
- It says here 2 October!
- That's the Sports Day.
I sign now and pay later, right?
- Teacher said bring the money!
- Really?
Can't you read? Pay for costumes
to homeroom teacher by 18 Sept!
- Bring back the change!
- OK!
- Mommy is stupid-
- Don't buy stuff with the change!
But there are still some needs
that just can't be fulfilled.
Incidents that suddenly make you feel
small and shabby usually happen in school.
Questionnaire about your father
How come you filled the questionnaire?
Teacher told us to.
- She just told you to?
- Yep.
- VWhout explaining what it's for?
- Yep.
What did she say as she passed it out?
She just said fill it up and hand it in.
But you don't live with your father.
Why answer questions that don't apply?
Shouldn't you have told your teacher that?
The civil code revision bill abolishing
the hoju system was finally passed...
Hooray! Hooray!
I welcomed the abolition of the hoju system.
But the new registrar laws only
appeared to respect the individual,
and was still basically
organized into family units.
This is the new registrar form
tailored to each individual
with additions showing family relations.
It retains the form of a family registrar,
so it won't run against public sentiments.
It's lacking in that you still have to
register your spouse's family info,
but taking into account public concerns
over the destruction of the family...
One, two, three!
The sailing day of 'Ministry of
Gender Equality and Family'
Feminists who'd led the
anti-hoju campaign now turned
to addressing public concern
over broken families by getting
the Gender Equality Ministry
to take on family affairs
'Healthy family' campaigns abounded.
Celebration of hoju system abolition
(18 Mar. 2005)
The abolition of the hoju system
will safeguard the health of families,
which will lead to a healthy society,
which will give us the competitive edge
to become the center of Northeast Asia.
Above all, we mustn't shun
our God-given role
of contributing to society by
starting families and having children.
Legislator Go-Eun will propose a toast
on behalf of the anti-hoju system alliance.
She's famous for handing out leaflets
every morning to fellow legislators
explaining why we must do away
with the hoju system.
For your happiness and mine!
Many Koreans may still want to reaffirm
family ties through the hoju system.
Legal systems are very conservative.
Making radical changes for the minority
may cause insecurity among the rest,
and we don't want that.
Even what we've got so far is a
considerable achievement, real progress.
People talk about achievement and progress,
saying we've come this far in terms of
economic growth, living standards, democracy.
But they don't mention why we've come ONLY
this far, and simply bow to public sentiment.
In my experience, public sentiment
has never respected the individual.
And putting the individual in the back burner
always started from the family.
40th Korean Academy Awards
(12 June 2003)
Tonight's the eve of the Academy Awards.
Dad's receiving a certificate of merit
for 40 years of dedication to film props.
Hey, Su-Rim!
Lee, Tae-Woo(aged 74)
film props Kyung-Soon's father
The success of a patriarch is
accessorized by his supportive family.
I wasn't a good accessory tonight.
She's scolding me for my casual attire.
You should've at least worn a blouse.
- We always dress like this.
- It's unsightly at your age...
Why are you always so thoughtless?
Why rehash an old topic, Dad?
You'll be the death of me...
People will talk, you know.
You should've saved your dad's face.
Congratulations!
Dad's an overly cautious person,
but he's lived a conscientious life.
I respect him for that, but even
conscientiousness yields to saving face.
My brother's wedding
(8 May 2004)
Congratulations!
You're not gonna say hello to my wife?
Dad remarried 20 years ago. Though
my brother and I have a birth mother,
we've never been particularly
uncomfortable around our stepmother.
Hello.
It's nice to see you.
How can you dress like this
to your brother's wedding?
Let her be. She'll never change!
But today I'm uncomfortable.
In front of the cinema?
Are you near the benches?
I don't see mom!
Where did you say you were?
Dad and stepmother didn't want mom
to attend her own son's wedding.
I disagreed with Dad and his wife,
and so I decided to help mom get in.
Wait till the ceremony begins, then go
to the beauty parlor on the 2nd floor.
On the right...
- I stay on the right?
- Yes.
Lee, Min-Ja (aged 65)
Kyung-Soon's mom
I'm sorry, to both of you...
Dad might start looking for me,
so I'm going back in first.
Sure, go on.
Dad and his wife are ordinary folks,
moved to tears by soaps and nice to people.
But why do they refuse to compromise
on just this issue?
Don't ever come to see me again.
Come on, dad...
No, I'm really pissed!
Everyone dreams of a peaceful, secure family.
But it's only possible on a collective term.
So the collective family doesn't care much
about the individual's dignity.
Therein lies the seed of our misfortune.
English conversation lesson
Come back in a jiffy!
KBS 'In-Depth 6O Minutes' Korea the Baby
Expofter the double face of overseas adoption
Vincent(aged 30)
Adopted by American parents at age 5
Vincent's an adoptee and an American citizen.
He returned to Korea 3 years ago
in search of his birth parents,
whom he hasn't found yet.
Vincent was interviewed for this program
about the problems of overseas adoption.
Vincent's dissatisfied with TV programs
that show only tearful reunions.
He wants to meet his parents, but he says
there's more to it than tearful reunions.
Global Overseas Adoptees' Link
after-meeting drinks
Please check your belongings.
This airport limousine is a service
provided by experienced drivers...
You're excited?
- You bet!
- Me too.
Why are you excited?
I get to eat interesting food,
meet Uncle, do lots of things...
We're finally taking the overseas trip
I'd promised Su-Rim a million times.
Incheon International Airport
It's the airport!
- We're getting off. Put your coat on.
- One last picture...
In high spirits, she keeps taking pictures.
I'm busy filming her too
Her excitement's rubbing off on me
They don't have softies.
- What?
- No softies!
How can you not offer me a single bite?
- What?
- You haven't offered me a bite!
- Help yourself!
- You have to feed it to me.
Hey, you were sucking on that!
So what? We're family.
You have the habit of
emphasizing 'family' all the time.
Are family members
different from other people?
- They're nice
- Why?
Yes. You see them everyday
ls our family different from other families?
- Yes.
- In what way?
Ours is better!
Better? You mean you like our family?
Except when you nag at me
to clean my room...
Auntie Mi-Rye. Where are you?
Mi-Rye
Kyung-Soon's friend
A friend's travelling with us.
She too is divorced and lives with her son.
Our camera crew on this Bangkok trip.
Mun-Taek/Mi-Rye's son
No Asiana mileage card?
You have Asiana's but not Korean Air's.
I thought we were flying Asiana.
My luggage just kept growing.
Think I can hand-carry more?
Of course.
17:10 Bangkok
- Hello.
- Stop that!
- How many of you?
- Four.
- Su-Rim, hold this
- Why me?
You carry it, mom.
Came to see what I'm up to?
Mun-Taek's hair's long enough
for a ponytail!
I should've given him a haircut...
Smooth it down!
- Come here!
- Are you filming?
Done!
What are you doing, Auntie?
Just a second...
Did you bring first-aid stuff?
Mom's slow, but Auntie's fast.
Mom, you brought first-aid stuff, right?
She said she did!
Mom! First-aid!
Auntie and Kyung-Soon are counting money.
I'm on cloud nine.
How do you feel, mom?
Damn good.
And you, Mun-Task?
Great!
Can I go now?
Me too.
You can't film inside.
"Mul-geon!" (things)
You used that word already.
"Mul-su-gun"(damp towel)
"Mul-geol-le" (rag) then.
What starts with "Le..."
- Help her out!
- "Le-mi-con!" (cement mixer)
HEY, you're good!
"Kon-seo-teu!" (concert)
What starts with "teu..."
"Teu-reum!" (burp)
It's "Teu-REUM"
"Teu-reum?"
Is it teu-REUM or teu-RIM?
- Is it "REUM?"
- No idea.
- It's "RIM."
- No, it's REUM.
- TeuRIM!
- TeuREUM!
- TeuRIM!
- TeuREUM!
Who could stand such obstinacy?
- "Bi..."
- Lots of words start with "bi!"
"Bi-di-o!" (video)
What?
"Bi-di-o!" (video)
"O-di-sh eon !" (audition)
"Sheen?! !"
Come on! 1, 2, 3, 4...
"Sheon?"
The countdown starts now.
1,2
"Sheonday Seoul!"
- There's no such word!
- Yes there is!
Ha ha. "O-di-sheon" becomes
"Sheonday Seoul"?
Get out of the way!
Don't fool around.
My friend and I have different tastes
and personalities but also a lot in common.
We make films, don't regret the divorce,
and above all, we love our lives right now.
And our trip?
Damn good
Human or animal, living things feel happy
when someone recognizes them.
Why are you glaring?
Jeon, Mi-Kyung
Se-Voung's mom
Who's glaring?
Why are you always so negative?
Look at your eyes in the mirror!
Shall I show you?
Let's see...
It's the wrinkles...
Why do they look so weird?
Se-Young became closer to her mom
while filming "Shocking Family."
She ended her 2 years of independence
and moved back in with her family.
I'm sure it's because she was broke.
Kyung-Eun recently agreed to the divorce.
And she can still see her son.
She's working hard to earn money
by taking pictures.
Look this way altogether! Good!
But the kind of pictures she really
wants to take are different.
As for me...
Do it again! Nicely this time!
You threw that on the floor!
...I'm still bickering with Su-Rim.
Why are you so pissed?
Fold that shirt nicely!
Is it so hard to let me have it?
What have you ever done for me?
You ask for presents every birthday,
and every Christmas, right?
Aren't you being too selfish?
We live together, you know.
Recently, Su-Rim announced that
she didn't want to go to college.
I'm sure she'll take on life with zest.
Bungee over Bhote Kosi River, Nepal
Finally! I'll fly... like a bird
This feels damn good!
I want to take on my life with zest too.
I want to make more exciting films,
enjoy a more exciting life,
and of course,
have an exciting love affair!
Me?
I'm Kyung-Soon!
'No such thing as family'
Shocking Family
Our eyes met by chance
And you stole my heart
You eyes met mine by chance
And they captured my heart
Producer JuA/oung
Nlusic/Ji-Eun
Camera I Se-Young
Photography I Kyung-Eun
Asst. Director! Ja-Kyung
Director I Kyung-Soon
Feminism, gender equality and all that.
But my question is,
do women work as hard as men
to earn the right to demand this and that?
I don't have a job. I don't make my kids
do housework, because that's my job.
But that doesn't help social progress.
Hey! Families raise good kids so
they won't cause social problems.
That's helping social progress!
But...
No, that's where you're wrong.
Don't be so judgemental.
How you're brought up
makes a difference.
And another thing that's important
is what kind of work you do.
If a mother lives right,
her kids will never stray.
I was totally thrashed that day
10 years ago
Press this, and the 'R' means
it plays the reverse side.
10 years ago, to get divorced, I began
supporting myself and my 2-year-old daughter.
Su-Rim, aged 4
(director's daughter)
I started making films, shuttling between
my mom's or friend's and Su-Rim's nursery,
and getting the hang of
living as a single mom in Korea.
Sit down and do it nicely.
Who called?
Daddy's getting impatient
to see his little girl.
Su-Rim's a good girl, right?
A tough and brave girl.
Since then, I've stopped watching soaps.
Half my god-damn life is a soap opera.
Friends say they envy me for having a girl,
that they admire me for being tough.
My head longs for progress, but
my life runs counter to that progress.
My family's peacekeeping rule
Mom's real mad. I've had it with you,
so you know what to do.
VWh a mom like me, Su-Rim's also learnt to
take care of herself, but it's not been easy.
1 took $10 everyday from Uncle's wallet.
What I think is...
Even if you're let off, you have to
return me the money you took.
You're gonna steal from your mom now
so you can return me my money?
She might grow up and
steal a thousand bucks.
That's a social problem!
It would be theft, plain and simple.
Yes, stealing's bad, but I don't
believe in the snowball effect.
All I'm saying is to solve a problem,
you have to look for the root cause.
There might be no solution.
You're saying if my lifestyle doesn't change,
there's no hope for Su-Rim,
she'll be a problem kid.
But I don't see it that way.
Su-Rim's habit of stealing did make life
difficult, but what was harder to bear
was the looks of pity and concern
thrown at the two of us.
But Su-Rim's a healthy kid. She doesn't
ace in school, but she's cheerful and honest.
- They don't have softies.
- What?
No softies!
This is better.
Wow, great looking eyes!
Let me see.
What?
But some time ago, she started
using the word 'family' pretty often.
How can you not offer me a single bite?
Help yourself!
You have to feed it to me.
Hey, you were sucking on that!
So what? We're family.
A family is...
Happy families make everything right
Healthy
Happy families make everything right
Authoritarian
Happy families make everything right
Father is a patriarch
Father of a family
Isn't that the core?
Sons, sons...
Men are physically superior
Sons, sons, sons...
There's law and order even in a family
Patriarch
Son and daughter
Patriarch Patriarch
The 'Mother-and-Child Shelter'...
Fatherless Fatherless Fatherless
...should be changed to 'Family Shelter.'
Gathering for fatherless families
A nation intolerant of diversity
I oppose feminism.
Social chaos
National chaos
State chaos
Chaos of humanity itself
It's the road to ruin
Difference between normal and abnormal
Once you marry, it's only natural
to give birth, give birth, give birth.
Adopted families
Gay families
Without reproducing,
the society cannot maintain itself.
The Healthy Family Basic Act is
an expression of national competitiveness.
An unmarried woman raising a child?
She's not human!
Highest sexual violence among youths
Where do you think kids learn to be bad?
Happy families make everything right
Family Creed Campaign
(Children's Day 2005)
Our Family
Honesty
Always Do Your Best
Diligence and Creativity
Filial Piety
If you fart often you eventually shit.
Likewise, if you have a family creed,
and you see it often, it's like hypnosis.
For example, if my family creed is
'Happy families make everything right,'
and you keep repeating it, soon you'll
hypnotize yourself into truly believing so.
Happy families make everything right,
happy families make everything right.
- I simply decided to leave.
- When did you make that decision?
- Yesterday
- Yesterday?
- Yes, right before I left.
- What pushed you to decide?
Seo, Ju-Hwan, aged 38
(married for 10 years)
- Nothing, really...
- Come on, spill it out!
You were bent on keeping the marriage
going, so why the sudden change of heart?
Something definitely happened to you.
Well, she said she'd sue
if I don't agree to a divorce.
Your wife? Why?
- She'll sue?
- Yes.
So her mind's made up?
I made a few mistakes,
even cheated on her...
In that short time,
you managed to have an affair?
Yep, I did.
OOPS, my spit...
- You've made more than a few mistakes.
- You can say that again.
My wife kept telling me
I'm fucked up because of my mom.
She said I only like women who
tolerate anything I do and spoil me rotten.
She hit the nail on the head.
Even the woman I'm seeing now,
at first I liked her a lot, until she
started nagging and criticizing.
I asked my wife not to let my mom know.
That's what she hated about my family.
If there's a problem, instead of trying to
solve it, we just keep it quiet and ignore it.
Public TV Campaign
Honey!
Ta-da!!
Thanks.
Wait a second!
It's cold out. Put this on.
I'm fine.
- Is it warm?
- Yes, grandpa.
Family, the warmest word in the world.
Honey!
Ta-da!
Thanks.
Honey, you're still sleeping?
Wait a second!
- It's cold out. Put this on.
- I'm fine.
- Is it warm?
- Yes, grandpa.
If only you were born with a penis.
Family, the warmest word in the world.
Shocking Family
Root of evil...
1st production meeting for Shocking Family
(78 Aug2004)
First of all, it's very interesting...
Hey, no empty praises, please.
No, it's really interesting.
I'm a beginner, remember?
Root of evil, I love it!
I left home to smash the root of evil.
- You left to break away from your mom?
- No, to get a divorce.
So first you created the root of evil,
and then you smashed it?
In away...
I empathized with everything,
but then I thought of my own family...
I've never gone as far as to think
my family is the root of evil.
My parents seem more like victims.
You hear stories of weird families and
either condemn or try to understand,
but once the story's about your child or
your parents, your judgement stops.
That's the limitation of humans.
I'm all too familiar with it these days.
But mom's living a new life now,
having an affair...
- She made such a smart choice?
- The best choice ever!
But my sis disagrees.
She curses mom for going too far.
But she's not even the type who'd
be satisfied even if mom stayed home.
Why do you think
your mom's choice was smart?
She's belatedly discovered
the human instinct for freedom.
She married early, was raised
to play the typical female role
Things like how women should
marry early and make babies...
Marriage wasn't a conscious choice
I recall her saying to me as a kid,
If only you hadn't been born,
I'd have lived differently, blah blah...
Korean parents' usual laments...
In a way your mom was brainwashed
by society to play the typical maternal role,
then she broke free and now
she's acting freely on her emotions.
But in my family's case, we've
completely internalized the institution.
It's become so much a part of us
that it's impossible to break free.
- That sound so sad...
- Yes, but my family doesn't think so.
They're proud of being the model family.
This isn't so thin.
You can wear it in winter, right?
Definitely winter pants.
- If you wear thermal undies.
- I guess so.
I bought it coz it's your favorite color.
I can wear it when I work.
That's why I chose a jacket
that's neither girlish nor boyish.
- It's a little short.
- Yes, short jackets are in now.
Had a hell of a time
finding something worth buying!
I didn't bring Christmas presents.
Had no time to go shopping...
That's OK.
We're an ordinary average family.
Typical Korean family, so to speak.
Not exactly typical,
but definitely a common case.
- That's right.
- My family exactly.
That's how 'Shocking Family' began.
Still shots of 'Shocking Family' crew
(4 Oct. 2004)
I'm Cho Se-Young.
Graduated from college 4 years ago,
currently 'Shocking Family' cameraman,
but still clumsy with the camera.
Terrific weather today!
Not a soul who knows the meaning
of punctuality these days.
I start getting mad, especially
if they get the place wrong.
Million Dollar Cafe?
What are you doing there?!!
It's no fun hanging out
with the girls these days.
Why is rent so expensive these days?
Room for Rent
Deposit $10, 000, monthly rent $300
Room for Lease
Deposit $30, 000
I left home 2 years ago to get away
from my family's interference.
It's nice having my own space
away from my parents' nagging,
but the monthly rent's killing me.
And why so many utility bills?
Is this the price of independence?
Se-Youngs parents' place
You must be happy to have all of us
home for dinner in along while.
Yes.
You're happy?
Cut it out!
Why're you filming me all the time?
Who are you gonna show that to?
'Amy's the Miss there not lifting a finger?
Hey, you sitting there!
Why aren't you helping clean up?
At home, dad's married to the TV,
older sis never helps with the housework,
and Mom spends more time in the kitchen
than winding down.
Mom has a job too. During the day
she looks after other people's kids,
and at night she looks after
her husband and daughter.
She's forever bustling around; the only time
she's not moving is when she's asleep.
But none of us have a problem with that.
In the old days you got married for money,
coz you couldn't support yourself.
You got married for money, too?
Well, I couldn't make a living. But now,
your dad's a jobless pitiful old man.
So why did you marry him?
He did earn big money long ago,
but he spent it on someone else,
and now he's living off me!
Can't stand the sight of him...
Why don't you leave him then?
Yeah, I should one of these days.
Simply put, the properties of substances
change according to their atoms.
Cho, Jang-Young
Se-Young's older sister
Having finished her graduate thesis
and gotten a job in a big company,
my sister's calling the shots at home.
I forgot to mention your name
in the afternote.
You should get a Master's degree, too.
Why should I?
It'll come in handy some day.
If you keep putting it off,
there'll come a time when you can't
go back to school even if you want to.
And it's easier getting a master's
in the Humanities.
- What do you want me to study?
- I've asked around
Business Management?
I'm not interested!
Anything's good.
Study whatever you like.
I don't want to!
Stop bugging me!
Dad graduated from a prestigious university
and retired 10 years ago from a big company.
Laos food won't agree with you.
Under-developed countries
aren't worth visiting.
Dad became an incompetent patriarch,
and the ever-resourceful Mrs. naturally
became the axis of power in my family.
When I got here the fridge and cooker
had been unplugged.
- Who pulled the plug?
- Don't know.
Probably your dad.
- The rice was cold.
- Which socket?
The one next to the microwave.
Damn it, it's definitely your dad!
Hey, Misterl!
Come here!
I was trying to make coffee...
He's always making trouble.
I'm gonna kick him out soon.
Mom says she's sick of living with Dad,
but there's one thing they see eye to eye.
My husband said it's a good idea for her
to apply to Seoul Women's University.
That university topped graduate
employment rates 4 years running,
among all the women's universities.
That would be education
Tell her Jang-Young got a job
with Samsung Electronics.
Look, Seoul Women's University's
your best bet. Don't think twice.
You're guaranteed a job once you graduate.
Look at my daughter!
Cheating during the college entrance exam
has shocked society once again...
College entrance exam for 2005
(Nov. 2004)
Good luck!
Flying Colors! Full Marks!
Success!
Only the best!
Good luck!
Prayer for college enhance exam students
Goddess of Mercy, Goddess of Mercy...
Prayer Service Schedule
for college entrance exam students
Heavenly Father!
Lord, make it come true!
4th subject
Oh my God...
Can't fly though 1 want to
Can't cry though I want to
I'd thought about killing myself.
My grades weren't that bad,
but whenever the exams came around,
I was terrified my grades would slip.
I thought death would be better than
this repeated terror all the way to college.
24 Feb. 2004, Kim, male Committed suicide due to
poverty and parenta! pressure to get good grades
28 Feb. 2004, Kim, male Committed suicide
after failing to make it into coflege
9 Mar. 2004, Lee, female
Left suicide note apologizing to herparents
14 Mar. 2004, Lee, female Jumped off 8th
floor out of despair over school grades
30 Mar. 2004, A, male
Left suicide note apologizing to his family
10 Apr. 2004, student president of a science high
school Left suicide note wishing his friends happiness
19 Apr. 2004, Chung, male Committed
suicide from pressure to get good grades
21 Apr. 2004, foreign language high school
student Hanged himseff at home after school
29 Apr. 2004, high school student in Seoul Committed suicide
when sent out of ciassroom for cheating during test
30 Apr. 2004, H, female Left suicide note saying
"I want to Seave the heH of private tutoring."
1 May 2004, Kim, male Jumped in front of
subway train after arguing with his mother
5 May 2004, Shin, female, middle school Hung herseff
in bathroom in despair over bad mid-term exam results
6 May 2004, high school student Jumped off
17th floor due to stress over upcoming exams
17 May 2004, Lim, male, middle school Left suicide note
asking his classmates to study harder for his sake
25 July 2004, Song, female
Was known to say she hated going home
In the 1st half of 2004 alone, more man 2O students killed
memseives from the stress of coflege entrance exams.
Society only pays attention after
something tragic happens or someone dies.
We came coz if we send text messages,
no one takes us seriously...
...that's why the whole thing happened...
Grown-ups say they were sick of
student demonstrations in the 70s,
so they want us to just study hard
and forget about everything else...
But in a few days, we put the tragedy
behind us and go on with our lives,
as if nothing happened.
That's life.
Su-Rims bedroom
Sa-Young is stupid
Su-Rim(aged 13, 7th grade)
Kyung-Soon's kid
You spelled my name wrong!
Se-Young is stupid
That's the way you spell Se-Young?
Months later, Su-Rim's still at it...
Sa-Young is stupid
Mom is stupid
I've told you a hundred times,
that's the wrong spelling.
Honestly I can't last 10 minutes in her room,
but I envy her carefree way of life.
Kyung-soon's office
Kyung-soon(aged 43)
Su-Rim': Mom
Kyung-sooné forever complaining
about how messy Su-Rim's room is.
But does she really want her to clean up?
You're filming the room again?
Isn't it the pits? A pig sty!
You can't see the floor!
About a mother who left her child
on a heap of garbage?
Really?
Hey, are you listening?
How come your room's
the same now as in this shot?
Don't you think you're too much?
The way these two live looks OK to me
We'll go to the hairdressefis and
get it done the way you like it, OK?
But there are times when Kyung-soon
turns arbitrary with her daughter.
She looked out of style,
so I gave her a nice haircut...
Out of style or not, it's MY hair...
You're right, but...
You look really nice, I tell you.
Don't be silly
You're always saying that
Look, all the aunties say you look nice!
Doesn't she look nice?
- How would you like it if I cut your hah'?
- Go ahead!
I'll take you to the hairdressefis
tomorrow, OK?
She was wrong to cut Su-Rim's hair
when the kid didn't want her to.
But now she's doing all the shouting,
stubbornly refusing to admit she's wrong.
When she's like that,
she reminds me
What's with all the world's moms?
Who do you think you are?
What do you take us for?
What's with you?
What's got you so mad this time?
I'm not mad! You breeze in whenever
you like and take all sorts of stuff.
Who said you could take them?
This is what actually happened
Hey, take this kimchi.
See if you like it.
Want some chilli?
- Is it hot?
- No, it's mild.
OK then!
This looks delicious.
She packed all mat food for me
And now she's bitching at me
for not earning enough money
You should save at least
$1000 dollars a month...
what?!! You think I earn like what,
about $30,000 a year?
You should be, at your age!
I sent you to college, didn't I?
Thee are thousands of
college graduates out there...
Empty-headed idiots
sitting around doing nothing...
Return me the money I lent you!
It drives me nuts, the kind of
conversations I have with mom.
At least now she just yells,
but when I was younger, she beat me.
Even now, when she gets mad,
my body automatically gets tense
in expectation of another beating.
The harder I try, the more I find it
impossible to become close to my family.
She picked me up and threatened
to throw me out the window!
I had the same experience once.
No, about two or three times...
3rd floor's high enough, thank you.
- My mom's really beautiful and classy.
- The perfect woman.
Women should never become
full-time housewives
Great looks, superb upbringing,
real smart.
But I was beaten till I bled
from the time I was born!
I asked her once why
she beat me when I young.
She said she was having a hard time!
It had nothing to do with me!
If she loses money at cards,
she'd beat me even harder.
But she's forgotten it all.
I was caned till I was 30!
I have to tell my mom. Seriously,
not just for the heck of rebelling.
But how? The most effective way
would be different for each mom.
But no matter how you do it,
your voice must come from your gut.
It has to be full of grief and anger.
I had to drive a nail into her heart.
Me, her daughter.
But there's no other way.
It's been 50 years and I still
can't bring myself to do it.
I feel sorry for my mom.
You know the classic paradigm
of the self-sacrificing parents...
But it's bullshit, state propaganda!
And we know it!
We can't apply a single paradigm
on the diversity of today's families.
I can't forgive her if I think of her
as my mother, but as a human being...
You're absolutely right.
That's where the importance
of individualism comes in.
- You feel a sense of solidarity?
- Well, we know how the other feels...
You were the first person to pop into
my head when I heard that story!
I know what you mean.
But as you grow older the violence...
The same violence feels different
as an adult and as a child.
Right.
As a child, it was extreme terror.
You know what you said about how
you're becoming more like your mom?
What's the point of denying it
when everybody says so?
I won't try to defend myself,
but I do tell myself to be careful,
so I won't take after her faults.
Losing my temper, for example.
I know I shouldn't blow my fuse,
but it's hard when I'm boiling mad.
It's like you blowing your top after
struggling to ignore Su-Rim's mess.
I think the difference is
how close you are to that person.
- The way you express yourself...
- But of course!
That the way moms are. You don't
see them abusing other people's kids.
How come you're shooting just me?
I'm just exercising.
Kyung-Eun
photographer, 'Shocking Family'
Kyung-Eun
photographer, 'Shocking Family'
Today I went with 'Shocking Family' crew
Kyung-Eun to visit her son.
Hannam-dong, please.
She and her husband had been inseparable
before marriage, but they're now separated.
Come to think of it, women are
forever moving from home to home.
From her father's to her in-laws' home,
and then on to another home.
My little puppy!
Give mommy a kiss!
Yoo, Tae»Hyuk(aged 5)
Kyung-Eun's son
You've stopped coughing?
- Your colds better now?
- Don't know...
You don't feel like talking to Mommy?
Don't know if the cold's better,
but there's still some medicine left.
- I see... Happy to see me?
- Yes
- Want me to come see you again?
- Yes
But next time come with Daddy.
- You want me to come with Daddy?
- Yes
But Grandma will get mad,
coz you don't live with us anymore.
We don't live together.
We don't ride the same car
Then it's better if I come alone,
then Grandma won't be mad at you.
I guess...
Then why did you want me
to come with Daddy?
We don't get along, so if we lived
together, we'd fight all the time.
But it's not your fault, honey.
It's between Daddy and Mommy.
You know that, don't you?
You know the yellow batman?
I've got batman cards too!
I'll buy some more for you.
- It's lunch time
- Let's go eat
Let's go, TaeHyuk.
Did you say goodbye to Mommy?
Go have lunch, honey.
I'm going back to work.
Mommy, see you soon.
- Come with Daddy next time.
- With Daddy? OK, I Will.
Wasn't he shy at first?
Who? Tae-Hyuk?
No, he came running to you.
- You think so?
- Yes! You didn't see him?
It wasn't enough for me.
I thought he'd be happier.
He seemed happy, but I felt strange.
Maybe because of the way he talks...
Ha ha. The way he talks?
He'd talk about us one moment and
then about batman cards the next...
Well, I'm like that too.
Jumping from one topic to another...
Are all kids like that? Can't remember
if he'd been like that before.
Maybe...
Could her problems become mine one day?
Marriage... Yucks...
Don't even want to think about it.
'Shocking Family' crew camping trip
(28 Aug. 2005)
Being ashamed of your divorced parents...
Normal versus abnormal...
They know what's going on,
so can't they be honest for God's sake?
Family members don't look at each other
as individuals with their own lives.
It's 'we' this, 'we' that,
we're just one big family.
Like shackles in a way.
So where did such standards
come from in the first place?
I wish people won't talk behind
my back just because I live differently.
It's not wrong, just different...
My mom just sent a text message!
Darling, what R U doing?
How's weekend? How's boy?
She keeps asking about the boy
as if he lives with me...
When she knows he's not with you?
It's her way of needling me.
But it doesn't bother you?
It does, makes me miss him...
You OK with your story being on film?
You mean do I feel comfortable?
Well, lots of people will know
about your life and all...
I think I've healed a bit by now...
A little... like 2%.
Kyung-Eun's place
I live alone.
It's half basement,
with a monthly rent of $200.
But I love having my own space.
I can let the dirty dishes pile up,
fart loudly whenever I like,
and eat when I feel like eating.
The best part is having my own darkroom.
My favorite picture...
From young,
I dreamt of having my own space.
But my family was poor,so I realized early
that it was a frivolous dream,
but I kept dreaming anyway.
Now, having left both husband and child,
that dream's finally come true...
I refuse to be blue today.
It's my birthday after all.
I'm gonna smear this on you!
Happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
The crew live in the same neighborhood.
So we meet up at Kyung-Soon's place
every chance we get,
to eat, dance, have meetings.
Just being with like-minded people
is in itself happiness for me.
- I got a haircut
- We noticed.
- You like?
- It's pretty.
- Really?
- Cute and sassy.
It's just you guys who say it's OK...
You have to wet it to be sure.
- I cut a lot off!
- It looks fine!
Everything was going great,
until Kyung-Soon got herself in big trouble.
We'll go to the hairdresser's and
get it done the way you like it, OK?
She looked out of style,
so I gave her a nice haircut...
Out of style or not, it's MY hair...
Su-Rim stroke back wildly
Why do you care about my body so much?
Well, it's not yours after all, is it?
I hate when everybody stares at me.
Kyung-Soon slowly bailed out...
- My daughter!
- You're my girl now...
Of course you look pretty.
The prettiest girl I know.
You be my girl, Tae-Hyuk be my boy,
and we'll all be happy...
I really envy Kyung-soon for
living with her cute daughter.
Su-Rim gave me this...
I met Kyung-Soon 2 years ago.
Two years ago
I got a job about a month
after the wedding.
Sometimes I'd get together with colleagues
for a couple of drinks, and get home late.
One night, about 10, I was having
dinner with drinks when he called.
- He demanded I come home.
- Your husband?
Yes. He said, It's already 10!
What're you doing still out?
I said, It's ONLY 10! What's the problem?
It's not like it's 10 in the morning!
I went home, and all hell broke loose.
I was told to pack up and get out.
- Who?
- My mother-in-law!
She said,
You call what you brought a dowry?
My friend's daughter-in-law bought her
a sofa and mink coat, blah blah...
Your parents got divorced, so that's why
your upbringing's so lacking.
She was slandering my character,
cursing over nothing.
I was really hurt, so I shot back,
I married into this family at 23
and it's not been easy for me either,
making breakfast 6 times every morning.
What am I?
A kitchen maid?
If my husband had taken control, or
at least taken my side, it would've been OK.
But he was on his mother's side.
Saying thing's like, Mom has the right,
coz she's lived a hard life,
- So you try to understand her?
- Exactly!
So I had no one on my side
from the beginning.
There were many incidents like that.
I often locked myself in and cried.
I'd cry on the streets, and when no one
was home, I'd wail in the bathroom...
I once cut myself with a penknife.
It was this long, but now it's faded a bit.
And my husband was there the whole time.
- He didn't say anything?
- Nothing! He just watched!
Once, I said, What am I to your family?
What's the point of living?
Then I swallowed a bunch of sleeping pills.
And again he just watched!
Why?
I knew I wouldn't die, but at least
I'd be asleep for a couple of days.
At least I won't wake the next morning.
Or so I thought...
But at 6 the next day, when it was time
to make breakfast, my eyes just opened!
What the hell...
I was gagging, so I threw up in the toilet,
and just sat there and cried my eyes out.
I should've been knocked out for at least
one day, so they'd take me to the hospital!
But I awoke at 6, damn it! If I hadn't,
at least I wouldn't need to make breakfast!
But I was up, so I had to cook as usual.
A few months back, I asked my husband,
Don't you remember me attempting suicide?
And he said he didn't!
He couldn't recall a thing!
Really?
He didn't remember me
taking sleeping pills.
I thought, Maybe it's like the way
people try to erase bad memories.
Maybe he didn't want to remember.
How long have you been married?
- 7 years.
- That's long!
- She got married at 23.
- And my boy's 5 now.
Right. I thought when you said
just now about a month ago...
How did you manage to
live with him for 7 years?
- My baby was huge. 4kg at birth
- Mine was 2.5kg
And I put on 25kg! I was huge, the baby
was huge, so my stomach was this big.
Even now, my stomach
looks like a washboard.
- Let's take a look!
- This whole bit's like a washboard.
It was hard enough getting used to
the institution of marriage,
but within that institution,
I had maternity thrust on me as well.
Marriage was hell, but
the maternity myth was worse.
I read somewhere about a woman
who confessed that she felt her child
was gnawing at her bit by bit everyday.
It's exactly how I felt.
Like the baby was eating into me.
If I'd had a better relationship
with my in-laws or husband,
maybe things would've been different...
A friend asked me, What's your dream?
I said, My dream is getting divorced.
I longed for it with all my heart.
I still do, of course, but...
It's not exactly divorce I want.
What I want is plain freedom.
Street campaign for the abolition
of the hojudamiiy head) system
The anti-hoju campaign that began in 1998
gave hope to many women victimized by
the chauvinistic, patriarchal culture.
Those who led the campaign
spoke for countless fellow women.
Oppression based o
family, lineage, bloodlines...
It's a lie to claim only men sow seeds
but when that lie is backed by power,
it's difficult to break.
Change, change, change everything...
Women's Festival Korea
(10 Oct. 2003)
A woman tortured to death for defending
this country that men couldn't defend!
Why isn't her picture on our bill?
The world seems made up not of people
but of human beings and women.
Women can't find jobs, they're trampled on
even in public officialdom,
and men hold all the important posts.
Even when a couple both work,
the wife has to do more housework.
Lots of men still think of housework
as the wife's responsibility.
Once you marry, you're no longer human,
especially as a daughter-in-law.
You're the lowest in the family,
nothing more than a servant.
Korean proverbs belittling women
Rally opposing the abolition
of the hoju system (75 Feb. 2005)
I pay tribute to your patriotism
in coming from all over the country
to show your commitment
to protecting the hoju system.
What about the moral laws
governing parent and child?
What about the bloodlines and genealogy
that have stood the test of 5000 years?
Long ago, the mistress of the house
held the keys to the storeroom.
Today,
wives still hold the bank accounts!
That's right!!
Isn't that enough respect for women?
Stop messing with the hoju system!
Oppose Revision of Family Laws
We Oppose
No to abolition of hoju system
Gender equality is bullshit!
Moral laws still apply!
Even dogs have pedigrees
Families breaking apart!
No to abolition of hoju system
It's students controlled by North Korea
who want to abolish the hoju system
No to abolition of hoju system
From the time he's born, a man must
manage his health, wealth, woman, family
and his culture. If he loses all that,
he's no different from a dog or a pig!
Even a dog needs a pedigree
to prove its worth!
A father feels obliged to his child, because
he registered the child in his genealogy,
gave the child his surname,
and he knows the child is his.
So he works hard as the head
and breadwinner of his family.
But if he's not the head of the family,
and the child doesn't use his surname,
he'd feel that he's being used!
Not the family head, nothing!
He'd think, Is this child really mine?
Where do their conviction come from?
Sometimes I get scare myself
when I'm moved to tears by the myth
that such conviction has generated.
Laudable mothers of artists
Parents' Day 2004)
Mothers who raised excellent artists
through self-sacrifice and dedication...
She got her daughter to learn Korean dance
at age 5, then to switch to ballet at age 10.
When her girl came to Seoul to become
a singer, everyone in the family opposed,
but she was on her daughter's side,
supporting her and respecting her dreams.
To send all 4 children to college
and take care of her old mother,
no job was beneath her,
even selling fish in the market.
Can you imagine the hard life she led...
Wrinkles on her once smooth forehead
Her dedication is higher than the sky
- quote from former Minister
of Culture & Tourism
These artists owe their fame
to the love and sacrifice of their mothers.
She ran out of the house when
the baby was not even a year old.
- Wait, I think I told her to leave.
- Can you imagine how she'd felt?
I yelled at her to get out.
I yelled at her for the first time.
- Why?
- She badmouthed by mother.
I'm a macho, and machos may put down
other women, but never their own mother.
That's why most machos
are mama's boys!
Our feelings towards our mothers
are stronger than any religion.
Where does this faith of putting
your mom on a pedestal come from?
From my mother herself.
We've seen how she's lived all her life.
So my brother and I both know...
- ...how her whole life...
- She sacrificed everything for you?
Seeing how she gave her whole life
to looking after her husband and kids?
That's right.
- That's the life she chose.
- It's HER choice.
My wife's point is that she's different from
my mother, that she's a separate individual.
- Yes, your mother chose...
- But my wife's mother...
she lives her own life,
she's her own woman.
- You're saying your wife's like her?
- Right.
She grew up watching her mother
and now she's living the same way!
That pisses you off?
Not exactly, but it was a sore point.
And my mother-in-law remarried, too!
As a man myself, I'm sure
my father-in-law would've hated that.
But he's dead!
- Yeah, but...
- But what?
He'd been devoted to his wife and girls!
If I were him, I'd feel betrayed.
I was hurt on his behalf, and I thought,
Fuck, even if I devoted my life to her,
she'd remarry if I die before her!
In the end,
my mother's my only haven.
She's not a woman in the sense that
I don't have to play love games with her.
So I always end up taking her side.
Not because I'm mama's boy, you know.
I'm so fucking disobedient!
I even got divorced against her will!
Fucking obedience isn't what
makes you a mama's boy.
It's how you deify your mother.
In that sense, you ARE a mama's boy.
You think?
Tae-Hyuk's kindergarten concert
(19 Feb, 2005)
- V\/here's Tae-Hyuk?
- In the front row waiting his turn.
- They all look the same! I can't find him...
- There's Tae-Hyuk
Yoo Tae-Hyuk (aged 5)
Kyung-Eun's son
My husband's mother raises TaeHyuk now.
I worry he'll grow up to be
a mama's boy like his father,
but for now, I'm grateful
just for being allowed to see him.
My husband insists I shouldn't see my son
once we get divorced, for the boy's sake.
That's why
I've yet to sign the divorce papers.
'Red Snowman' office
Mapo-go, Seoul
I think I've become stronger, but I'm still
too uncertain and timid to take on the world.
I want to let it out, but I'm still
too used to suppressing my emotions.
Something happened in the taxi today.
The driver made sexual insults
about the scar on my arm,
but though I was mad, I couldn't react.
I always belatedly fume inside.
I hate myself for being like this.
You could just let it go.
I got his number.
- His name too? How?
- Yes. Sec Jung-Woo
- I rang the call center.
- They told you his number?
- I said I left something in the cab.
- How kind...
What do you think I should do?
- Kill him for me!
- Kill him?
You want to call him?
Or confront him face to face?
- Call and demand an apology?
- Or you could talk to his boss first.
Call and demand an apology...
- Apology...
- Yes
Your license plate's 5829, right?
I got on at Sogang University.
Remember me?
Why I got angry?
You really don't know why?
You don't understand?!!
Mister! You call that a joke?
Whether I have scars or burns,
it's none of your business!
What's it to you what scars I have?
But remember what you said?
"What kind of woman goes around
with ugly scars on her arm?"
Then you scratched my arm!
How can I not be insulted?
How can you not understand?
What do you mean you
didn't think I'd be offended?!!
'Shocking Family' crew climbs Mt. Jiri
(14 Nov. 2004)
My wife said to me,
"You'll never change.
My wife said to me,
"You'll never change.
You'll traipse through life doing art or
whatever you damn please, so let me go."
She's right. You won't change.
People don't change easily.
They don't. I know myself.
So the best you can do
is agree to the divorce.
Sometimes I'm quite opinionated
Men and women are physically different.
So they have to play different roles.
- Have you ever initiated sex before?
- Is that so important?
Yes! Men even dominate sex.
Well, these days there're many couples
who aren't like that, but I think
chauvinism intrudes in bed as well.
And it's internalized in the family.
Education, desire, all our needs,
they must be met within the family.
That's what society expects.
Sometimes I even preach
- ls there someone you love? A man?
- Nope.
- It's been a while?
- A long while...
You don't feel lonely sometimes?
No, but sometimes I miss the sex.
But now I masturbate instead,
so I don't feel inconvenienced
just because I'm single. Honest.
And I even lie
I do get lonely sometimes
But I don't want to remarry or
subordinate myself to someone.
I want someone who accepts me
for who I am,
someone I can meet and have sex with
only when we both feel like it.
But the world tells me
there's no such relationship.
So my dream remains just a dream.
When I awake from that dream,
I see two cats and Su-Rim.
Su-Rim's current craze is the singer BOA.
Su-Rim
Kyung Sean's daughter
You're not getting up?
- Wanna sleep some more...
- Wash up!
Take a shower!
You can hear that?
She's already in 7th grade,
and I've made 4 films.
She doesn't like my films.
Of course, I don't like BOA either.
On top of that,
we differ politically.
Reunification will ruin our country.
You don't want reunification?
You don't like the idea?
- I decided I don't like it.
- Why not?
Coz then I can't listen to BoA's songs.
How about this?
You starr in my film.
You'll debut as an actress in my film.
As if the president of BoA's company
would come to see your film.
Why not? I'll invite him!
- Really??
- Of course!
- You'll invite him??
- Definitely.
- How?
- I'll call him.
You know his number?
You don't!
How much did you take
from my wallet?
How much?
How much is your allowance?
- How much?
- $3“.
" What?
" $3“.
No matter how free a parent-child
relationship, it's a power relationship.
And the core of that power is money.
But there are many needs that
neither power nor money can fulfill,
in this world and between Su-Rim and me.
Such needs have always been filled
not by my family but by my friends.
To your school life!
Next, uncle!
To my graduation concert!
OK, enough!
Bottoms up!
I want that too, uncle!
- I'm painting my toenails!
- Toenails? After this dries...
I'm sending this video to the TV station.
'The Take on Special Families!'
Wherever I go with my friends,
Su-Rim's always with me.
We have English lessons twice a week,
and even our tutor Vincent has gotten
used to Su-Rim's sudden appearances.
She looked out of style,
so I gave her a nice haircut...
Out of style or not, it's MY hair!
You're right, but...
You look real nice.
Your hair looks better short
than long with pins stuck in it.
Hairpins didn't go well with you.
Your face is too nice to cover up.
Right, such clean-cut lines...
You look perfectly fine.
Look at her tummy!
Get it on camera!
Yours is nothing.
Look at auntie's tummy!
You're overdoing it!
Sorry, sweetheart! Oops!
I'll take you to
the hairdresser's tomorrow.
You went too far.
What's this? You said just now
that she looked pretty!
You have to layer it,
but you just chopped it off!
You should've been careful.
You went too far.
Thinning won't work.
Not if you do it right!
But you didn't!
It looks so DIY!
She'll hear you.
Insisting her old hair was out of style...
We were embarrassed for you!
Thanks to my friends, Su-Rim is
cheerful to the point of brazenness.
Hurry up and sign!
- Is this your handwriting?
- Yep.
Fetch me the pen.
- Auntie, pass the pen!
- No, you fetch it!
She had the cheek to fill up
this parental permission slip herself!
- When do I pay?
- by tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
- Yes.
- It says here 2 October!
- That's the Sports Day.
I sign now and pay later, right?
- Teacher said bring the money!
- Really?
Can't you read? Pay for costumes
to homeroom teacher by 18 Sept!
- Bring back the change!
- OK!
- Mommy is stupid-
- Don't buy stuff with the change!
But there are still some needs
that just can't be fulfilled.
Incidents that suddenly make you feel
small and shabby usually happen in school.
Questionnaire about your father
How come you filled the questionnaire?
Teacher told us to.
- She just told you to?
- Yep.
- VWhout explaining what it's for?
- Yep.
What did she say as she passed it out?
She just said fill it up and hand it in.
But you don't live with your father.
Why answer questions that don't apply?
Shouldn't you have told your teacher that?
The civil code revision bill abolishing
the hoju system was finally passed...
Hooray! Hooray!
I welcomed the abolition of the hoju system.
But the new registrar laws only
appeared to respect the individual,
and was still basically
organized into family units.
This is the new registrar form
tailored to each individual
with additions showing family relations.
It retains the form of a family registrar,
so it won't run against public sentiments.
It's lacking in that you still have to
register your spouse's family info,
but taking into account public concerns
over the destruction of the family...
One, two, three!
The sailing day of 'Ministry of
Gender Equality and Family'
Feminists who'd led the
anti-hoju campaign now turned
to addressing public concern
over broken families by getting
the Gender Equality Ministry
to take on family affairs
'Healthy family' campaigns abounded.
Celebration of hoju system abolition
(18 Mar. 2005)
The abolition of the hoju system
will safeguard the health of families,
which will lead to a healthy society,
which will give us the competitive edge
to become the center of Northeast Asia.
Above all, we mustn't shun
our God-given role
of contributing to society by
starting families and having children.
Legislator Go-Eun will propose a toast
on behalf of the anti-hoju system alliance.
She's famous for handing out leaflets
every morning to fellow legislators
explaining why we must do away
with the hoju system.
For your happiness and mine!
Many Koreans may still want to reaffirm
family ties through the hoju system.
Legal systems are very conservative.
Making radical changes for the minority
may cause insecurity among the rest,
and we don't want that.
Even what we've got so far is a
considerable achievement, real progress.
People talk about achievement and progress,
saying we've come this far in terms of
economic growth, living standards, democracy.
But they don't mention why we've come ONLY
this far, and simply bow to public sentiment.
In my experience, public sentiment
has never respected the individual.
And putting the individual in the back burner
always started from the family.
40th Korean Academy Awards
(12 June 2003)
Tonight's the eve of the Academy Awards.
Dad's receiving a certificate of merit
for 40 years of dedication to film props.
Hey, Su-Rim!
Lee, Tae-Woo(aged 74)
film props Kyung-Soon's father
The success of a patriarch is
accessorized by his supportive family.
I wasn't a good accessory tonight.
She's scolding me for my casual attire.
You should've at least worn a blouse.
- We always dress like this.
- It's unsightly at your age...
Why are you always so thoughtless?
Why rehash an old topic, Dad?
You'll be the death of me...
People will talk, you know.
You should've saved your dad's face.
Congratulations!
Dad's an overly cautious person,
but he's lived a conscientious life.
I respect him for that, but even
conscientiousness yields to saving face.
My brother's wedding
(8 May 2004)
Congratulations!
You're not gonna say hello to my wife?
Dad remarried 20 years ago. Though
my brother and I have a birth mother,
we've never been particularly
uncomfortable around our stepmother.
Hello.
It's nice to see you.
How can you dress like this
to your brother's wedding?
Let her be. She'll never change!
But today I'm uncomfortable.
In front of the cinema?
Are you near the benches?
I don't see mom!
Where did you say you were?
Dad and stepmother didn't want mom
to attend her own son's wedding.
I disagreed with Dad and his wife,
and so I decided to help mom get in.
Wait till the ceremony begins, then go
to the beauty parlor on the 2nd floor.
On the right...
- I stay on the right?
- Yes.
Lee, Min-Ja (aged 65)
Kyung-Soon's mom
I'm sorry, to both of you...
Dad might start looking for me,
so I'm going back in first.
Sure, go on.
Dad and his wife are ordinary folks,
moved to tears by soaps and nice to people.
But why do they refuse to compromise
on just this issue?
Don't ever come to see me again.
Come on, dad...
No, I'm really pissed!
Everyone dreams of a peaceful, secure family.
But it's only possible on a collective term.
So the collective family doesn't care much
about the individual's dignity.
Therein lies the seed of our misfortune.
English conversation lesson
Come back in a jiffy!
KBS 'In-Depth 6O Minutes' Korea the Baby
Expofter the double face of overseas adoption
Vincent(aged 30)
Adopted by American parents at age 5
Vincent's an adoptee and an American citizen.
He returned to Korea 3 years ago
in search of his birth parents,
whom he hasn't found yet.
Vincent was interviewed for this program
about the problems of overseas adoption.
Vincent's dissatisfied with TV programs
that show only tearful reunions.
He wants to meet his parents, but he says
there's more to it than tearful reunions.
Global Overseas Adoptees' Link
after-meeting drinks
Please check your belongings.
This airport limousine is a service
provided by experienced drivers...
You're excited?
- You bet!
- Me too.
Why are you excited?
I get to eat interesting food,
meet Uncle, do lots of things...
We're finally taking the overseas trip
I'd promised Su-Rim a million times.
Incheon International Airport
It's the airport!
- We're getting off. Put your coat on.
- One last picture...
In high spirits, she keeps taking pictures.
I'm busy filming her too
Her excitement's rubbing off on me
They don't have softies.
- What?
- No softies!
How can you not offer me a single bite?
- What?
- You haven't offered me a bite!
- Help yourself!
- You have to feed it to me.
Hey, you were sucking on that!
So what? We're family.
You have the habit of
emphasizing 'family' all the time.
Are family members
different from other people?
- They're nice
- Why?
Yes. You see them everyday
ls our family different from other families?
- Yes.
- In what way?
Ours is better!
Better? You mean you like our family?
Except when you nag at me
to clean my room...
Auntie Mi-Rye. Where are you?
Mi-Rye
Kyung-Soon's friend
A friend's travelling with us.
She too is divorced and lives with her son.
Our camera crew on this Bangkok trip.
Mun-Taek/Mi-Rye's son
No Asiana mileage card?
You have Asiana's but not Korean Air's.
I thought we were flying Asiana.
My luggage just kept growing.
Think I can hand-carry more?
Of course.
17:10 Bangkok
- Hello.
- Stop that!
- How many of you?
- Four.
- Su-Rim, hold this
- Why me?
You carry it, mom.
Came to see what I'm up to?
Mun-Taek's hair's long enough
for a ponytail!
I should've given him a haircut...
Smooth it down!
- Come here!
- Are you filming?
Done!
What are you doing, Auntie?
Just a second...
Did you bring first-aid stuff?
Mom's slow, but Auntie's fast.
Mom, you brought first-aid stuff, right?
She said she did!
Mom! First-aid!
Auntie and Kyung-Soon are counting money.
I'm on cloud nine.
How do you feel, mom?
Damn good.
And you, Mun-Task?
Great!
Can I go now?
Me too.
You can't film inside.
"Mul-geon!" (things)
You used that word already.
"Mul-su-gun"(damp towel)
"Mul-geol-le" (rag) then.
What starts with "Le..."
- Help her out!
- "Le-mi-con!" (cement mixer)
HEY, you're good!
"Kon-seo-teu!" (concert)
What starts with "teu..."
"Teu-reum!" (burp)
It's "Teu-REUM"
"Teu-reum?"
Is it teu-REUM or teu-RIM?
- Is it "REUM?"
- No idea.
- It's "RIM."
- No, it's REUM.
- TeuRIM!
- TeuREUM!
- TeuRIM!
- TeuREUM!
Who could stand such obstinacy?
- "Bi..."
- Lots of words start with "bi!"
"Bi-di-o!" (video)
What?
"Bi-di-o!" (video)
"O-di-sh eon !" (audition)
"Sheen?! !"
Come on! 1, 2, 3, 4...
"Sheon?"
The countdown starts now.
1,2
"Sheonday Seoul!"
- There's no such word!
- Yes there is!
Ha ha. "O-di-sheon" becomes
"Sheonday Seoul"?
Get out of the way!
Don't fool around.
My friend and I have different tastes
and personalities but also a lot in common.
We make films, don't regret the divorce,
and above all, we love our lives right now.
And our trip?
Damn good
Human or animal, living things feel happy
when someone recognizes them.
Why are you glaring?
Jeon, Mi-Kyung
Se-Voung's mom
Who's glaring?
Why are you always so negative?
Look at your eyes in the mirror!
Shall I show you?
Let's see...
It's the wrinkles...
Why do they look so weird?
Se-Young became closer to her mom
while filming "Shocking Family."
She ended her 2 years of independence
and moved back in with her family.
I'm sure it's because she was broke.
Kyung-Eun recently agreed to the divorce.
And she can still see her son.
She's working hard to earn money
by taking pictures.
Look this way altogether! Good!
But the kind of pictures she really
wants to take are different.
As for me...
Do it again! Nicely this time!
You threw that on the floor!
...I'm still bickering with Su-Rim.
Why are you so pissed?
Fold that shirt nicely!
Is it so hard to let me have it?
What have you ever done for me?
You ask for presents every birthday,
and every Christmas, right?
Aren't you being too selfish?
We live together, you know.
Recently, Su-Rim announced that
she didn't want to go to college.
I'm sure she'll take on life with zest.
Bungee over Bhote Kosi River, Nepal
Finally! I'll fly... like a bird
This feels damn good!
I want to take on my life with zest too.
I want to make more exciting films,
enjoy a more exciting life,
and of course,
have an exciting love affair!
Me?
I'm Kyung-Soon!
'No such thing as family'
Shocking Family
Our eyes met by chance
And you stole my heart
You eyes met mine by chance
And they captured my heart