Sex and the Future (2020) - full transcript

Next.

Hey I'm uh Evan Kleinman reading
for the role of Jose Perez.

Oh...

Cristina I, uh...

I really like you and I've
been waiting to do this for

some time...

Well, the kiss?

Go.

Just kiss her, come on.

Um...

Go



Kiss her, come on.

Okay uh, thank you.

Can I just go
out and come back in?

No.
That's not gonna work. Nah I'm sorry,

We're not gonna call you, it's
not gonna happen. I'm sorry.

Yeah, that wasn't good.

You made out
with someone who had herpes?

Hahahaha! You loser!

Has this happened to you?

Actually sir can
you just drop me off right here

on this corner. Yeah, thank you.

Yeah you know what
sir I'm actually gonna get out too.

What kind of car do you drive?

This is not
suitable for Gluber pool.



It says here your
drop off is in the valley.

I'm just gonna
walk up Laurel Canyon drive.

Just please
give me five stars. Please?

Hey dad.

What's up, son?

Uh, I just
got out of an audition.

Actually, yeah, I think
I'm gonna get a callback.

What's the pay?

Copy, credit, meal...

Listen! It's not good enough.

We've been through this a
million times! I'm an actor!

Why don't you come back
home and work with your old man?

Mom and I cannot
see you struggling like that.

I love you. I gotta go.
Okay? Oh, one last thing!

Can you wire me some money?

I have a couple
bills I need to take care of.

Listen and listen
good! This is the last time.

Of course, of course Dad.

Thank you so much. I love you.

Hey guys! Evan here. I
just got out of an audition and

it went amazing! I'll keep
you guys posted if I got it.

Evan out!

Oh, about time!

Hello Evan.

VR mode starting.

My God...

Oh Evan...

I'm so horny.

Before we start making
out, do you wanna dance?

I'd love to.

Let me make you happy.

Yes.

The country of
Allur was founded in 1894

by two hot people.

No one is certain of its
exact geographical location

but many speculate
it is in the Middle East.

The kingdom of Allur was
in such financial crisis that

the royal guards had
to wear Halloween costumes.

The kingdom of Allur.
A naturally beautiful country.

From its scenic
views and flowing rivers

to its gorgeous natives.

Our land will transport
you to a world rich with romance

and passion all
provided by Zuku Zuku.

For decades Allur has been
the leader in the sacred art

of love making. Not even the
Kama Sutra knows of such lust.

Allur, the land of Zuku Zuku.
Travel packages now available.

Cut!

This is what we do?
This is shit! This is purely shit!

Calm down!
Imagining a big lollypop!

Lollypop?

Lollypop!

Did you guys like it?

I loved it! it's great!

Yes it is fantastic work!

But we are going
with the other plan.

You know the Zuku Zuku
doesn't work well anymore anyways.

All these western hipsters
care about these days is

quick bang bang sploosh!

Your royal highness,
Prince Ahmed and Prince Ali!

Mommy.

Father.

Khalid, Khalid!
You made sure my third son is

occupied
during this meeting?

Oh yes your majesty,
nothing to worry about.

Darwin Coming!

Darwin you are so
brave, why don't I just untie you

and we go back to bed?

If we ever get out of this,
that villain is going to pay!

Oh Mister Darwin!
You are so handsome!

Oh ok, tea time!

Just come lay with me!

Our time for today is
over. I have a family meeting.

I gotta go!

Where's the mirror?

There are no mirrors
here. Let me tell you my story.

Once upon a time I
was born, like I am now, I was

incredibly handsome...

It must never leave the palace

What is this? This is dangerous.

Is it a baby?

In fact a witch decreed that if
I ever saw myself in the mirror

I would turn ugly.

We made this?

That's why
there are no mirrors here.

How unlucky it is that
you'll never be able to witness

your own beauty?

And what is more
important than being handsome?

Nothing my prince.

The prince must go now.

It has been decided. We will
complete a two billion dollar

deal with hip new
energy out in California.

Prince Ali and Prince Ahmed will
leave tomorrow to seal the deal

and deliver the
bags of money to Los Angeles.

Why don't you wire the money?

Because they want to charge
me a thirty dollar wiring fee!

What a rip off!

Sons, this is our last
resort to save the country.

I trust you to take
care of this. Good day.

The royal
Highnesses, Prince Fahad!

What is this father? I'm
hearing about Los Angeles.

I have been asking years
to send me to Hollywood.

I'm sending your brothers
Ali and Ahmed to California

to invest
in new forms of energy.

Energy is our
business after all.

I have been
wasting my talents here.

Your only talent is
having sex and watching

that stupid
Darwin action movie!

Darwin action films!

Silence!

Please father.

Enough! You're
forbidden to leave this palace.

The world is full of mirrors
Fahad, and you know what

happens when
you look into one.

I know what's gonna
happen. I will become ugly

and I will be sent
to live with the cows.

Exactly, you have no self
control. You can't be trusted.

This is for your own safety.

We are simply trying
to protect you, Fahad.

Protect me from what my
mom? I'm wasting my time here.

Meeting adjourned!

Khalid! Khalid!

Yes, your majesty.

I have an important job for you.

Right hand man
kind of important?

I need you to
keep Prince Fahad safe.

Of course your majesty,
that has always been my job.

You understand
he's always been different.

It is true. The Prince marches
to the beat of his own drum.

He's damned ugly!

Oh yes, that.

Don't let him ruin the
opportunity to save the country.

I will not fail you my king.

Of course you won't.
Otherwise you will be hung.

Wait, I thought we
don't do that anymore!

You're right. We
will cut off your testicles.

Both of them?

Both of them!

Oh my god...

Oh! What?

What is that?

Oh you found the new prototype.

Yeah, I'm testing out
this new hydrocarbon silicone

polymer composite.

Wait, so it's a
head that gives head?

That's the idea.

Is this a sex toy?

Mhm.

Dude you can
make a full robot of her.

I would so love that. I mean,
just imagine. You and me, we'll

be able to get with the most
beautiful women in the world

even if we look like
bridge trolls, which we don't

by the way.

And the sex will be real.

It's sex and the future!

So this is your plan? Your plan
to finally lose your virginity.

Nice work
buddy. I'm proud of you.

But it's
complicated. I'm low on funds.

So how was last night with that
chick from your acting class?

Am I good or am I good?

Ah man, the file, it skipped
a little bit, but otherwise

incredible.
Barry you're a genius.

Just wait once I figure out this
sex-bot thing. All I need is

one pathetic rich guy who's
willing to cough over some

major mulah...

Ah!

You poisoned them?

They are asleep.

You took my Xanax.

Khalid we must go, quickly.

But I have to
speak to your father

and brothers
before their flight.

They are not going. We are.

No we cannot!

Khalid.

The jet is ready for take off. I
am going, either you are going

with me or you will be hung.

Follow your partner.

Watch them. Connect.

Feel the flow.

This is the best acting class.

You should be honored
that I share my time with you.

Stephanie and Evan focus!

You haven't paid me
for this class or the last one.

Yeah about that. My
dad's going to pay, tomorrow?

Your father?

Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Soon, very soon.

Daddy's gonna pay it soon!

Back when I was doing
a production of 11th Night...

I wish I was a millionaire.

Can you imagine
yourself as a millionaire?

You'd be cocky and unbearable.

Yeah I know I would
and I'd like to try it anyway.

Switch partners.
Rachel you're with Evan.

Stephanie you are with Aaron.

And everyone on their feet.
Come on. Let's go. Breathing.

Very important. Breathing.

Harrumph!

Evan?

Evan? What is this?

Did I ask you to do this?
What is this?

This is not part of the
breathing exercise. Ready?

Ready, yeah.

Where did you
pick up that bad habit?

Um..

Yo, that teacher's a dick.

Yeah he made you cry dude.

I'm over it. Yo Throw
rooftop tonight? All the celebrities are

gonna be there.
Rachel's gonna come with us.

Sweet.

Oh yeah, I've been there.

Is there
something going on tonight?

Depends,
how many followers do you have?

Um.. like 20...

20,000 isn't enough.

Bro, you need 100,000.

Oh.

I got 110. She's got
300. She's blowing up.

Yeah, Let's ditch this loser.

She's cute.

That's my mom.

At least you
know your followers are real.

Ten of them are bots, actually.

I better go, bro. See ya...

Who
the hell are these guys?

Woo! Lets go lets go!
Fast Fast.

We don't have
time. Yeah this one.

Okay! Okay!
I'm going. Okay!

Let's go! We are here!
Woohoo! Go fast!

What brings you to LA?

We are here to
begin my acting career.

No way, that's interesting.
Actually...

I do a little acting myself.

That's interesting. Do you
know Darwin? The action star.

Um, no, no.
Can't say that I do.

Haven't had the pleasure yet.

Fahad!

Khalid! We are in America!

Do not call me
Fahad. Call me Darwin.

So mister actor driver.

It's Evan.

Yes Evan, you
are an actor and an Uber driver?

Yeah, yeah that's right.

Have you been in
anything we might have seen?

No. No.

I'm still trying
to get thing on track.

But I do take classes down at
Tantrum Acting Studios though.

Thats amazing.
Khalid write this down.

Write it down. We're
gonna go to this class.

Fahad.

Darwin. Darwin. Darwin.

Darwin, we must prioritize,
first securing the

investment before we
enroll you in any classes.

What's this investment
you guys are talking about?

Tech. So what
is hot out here in LA?

The women.
That's the hottest thing.

Oh and vegan cheese.

What? That's disgusting.

Ew.

Wow, wow
this is just the beginning!

Thank you so much Mr. Actor Evan
Driver. Here you go.

Thank you. Oh I'm
so sorry if I offended you.

Please take this as well!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Fahad!

Woohoo!

Wow!

Darwin!! Woohoo!!!

Yeah. Yeah. Freeze!

It is I Darwin!

Okay, alright. Alright. Yes.

Oh it feels so good.

Where did it go? It's
gone, they'll chop my head off!

Fahad!

Fahad! Where are you? Fahad!
There was another bag like this,

did you see it?

What?

There was another
bag like this, did you see it?

I only remember bringing one.

Fahad, where is that bag?

Fahad that bag
had a lot of money in it.

The money your brothers were
going to use to secure that deal

they had in place. The deal
that would have saved our

country and
bought us time out here!

What's going on there?
Why am I looking at the sky?

Your majesty, it's
so good to see you again.

You promised me quick returns
on my energy investment deal.

Why is hip new energy
calling me about the money?

Uh, your majesty it's very early
morning out here and people in

LA go hiking.

All you had to do was hand them
the money and sign the papers!

You hung up on the king?

You hung up on the King?

You hung up on-
You Hung up on the King!

Relax Khalid. Everything will
be fine. We're going to do the

investment and I will be a movie
star. Someone will find the

money and bring it
back. I am sure about that.

A suitcase,
let's see if there's some dirty panties.

The actor driver!

This is it?

Yes this is the acting school.

Your headshot needs to say
everything about you in one

quick glance. It needs to say
you're young but old at the same

time. You're elegant,
yet you're mean.

You're mean, yet educated.

Sneaky, but educated.

But mentally ill!
Very important!

Wait outside, wait outside!

Excuse me.

My client
wants to take your class but he

does not like mirrors.

Listen pal this is the
world's greatest acting class

taught by the world's
greatest acting teacher.

You think you can just waltz...

Carry on!

You wait right here.

Headshots. Evan, your headshot?

Mr. Evan actor driver sir did we
happen to leave a bag of money

in your car?

Uh I
don't think so, no. I'm sorry.

Who is your agent?

Oh, you mean
FBI agent? I don't think so.

How'd you find him?

Oh, my father hired him.

Who's your friend?

Oh I'll
introduce you, come on.

Hey! I'm Steph.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too.

Wow. Wow. Woo.

Hi, my name
is Darwin. You can call me

D-R-O-O-N-S-N-Y-O

Okay, Hi Darwin.

Okay party people
back to the headshots!

Come Fahad we must go!

Darwin! Call me Darwin!

Darwin we
must go find the money!

I'm not going
anywhere, you can go.

You did pay for it. I'm
gonna take this class. Just go.

Did you bring a headshot?

What does that mean?

A headshot.
A picture of yourself

Oh, no.

So remember keep
working on your scenes privately

with your partners an as a
special bonus I have a casting

director from a major major

major studio coming to
see your final presentations.

And one last
thing. My new all organic vegan

gluten free diet has become
very expensive, so effective

immediately the prices for
these classes has gone up 60%.

Beat it! Get out of here.

And Evan this might be
a good time to call daddy.

And Fahad great
work! I'm very impressed!

Is Khalid coming back?

I don't think so.

Okay.

I've learned so
much already today and scene!

Woohoo! I love it!

Well Tommy is the
greatest actor of all time

as he constantly reminds us.

We're doomed!

Oh, wow, this guys looks
like he needs a drink.

Yeah

I agree with you.

You guys
wanna go to my place?

Yeah let's go.

Cool. Follow me.

Barry! We have company!

Come on in.

Oh.
Hello hello!

Ugh, Barry.

How are you?

You look awfully
familiar. Have we met?

Oh no no no.

It's not who you
think it is. No it's not her.

You're the
chick from the VR machine!

No, no, that's not her!
Barry just let that one go.

Just be quiet.
Rachel, Steph.

Do you guys mind giving me
a few minutes you guys can

wait in my room. Thank you!

Evan,
I'm like 99.9 percent sure.

It's not her. Let it go.

Jeez Evan.

Oh my God. You
think he likes himself?

He's so pretty.

What is this?

It's like VR.
It's like a video game.

Dude you got her to move.

Yeah, she even talks.

Are you the
head that gives head?

I certainly am.
Would you like a blowjob now?

Yeah, so I solved all the
complexities and just built her.

What do you think?

Spectacular.

Would you like a blowjob now?

Yes, I want one. It's been two
days without any romance. Wow!

I think she's
my soulmate. I'm in love!

Come on man. Don't be stupid.

You can't
fall in love with a robot.

Oh, Evan I'm
so glad you're here.

Oh my God!

I'm so horny.

What?

Oh my. Oh my. Oh my god.

How much will you
need for full body prototypes?

Oh, I'll take over from here.
No, I got this. I got this.

Um as the spokesperson
for, uh, Evan Advanced

Robotics Corporation. We'll need
a minimum investment of ten

million dollars for a single
prototype and a retainer fee for

further production.

I have an idea.
I'm going to call the king.

Deal!

Beautiful. Thank you!

What is this?

No, Rachel, take that off!

Hey turn it off,
turn it off! Is it off?

It's for acting class
I'm a method actor.

What?

It's not real. Just go back to
my room. Back to my room.

I knew it was her!

Can you believe they
made me park my boat on the

other side of the port? I had to
walk 30 meters to my golf cart.

Tell me about it,
my son just spent a fortune on

sex robots. Can
you believe that? Sex robots.

Sex robots?

I am truly embarrassed.

I have been very interested in
artificial intelligence for some

time now. The implications.

They are sending me a prototype.

Can you tell
your son to send two. Twenty!

Khalid had found a way to save

his ass from
losing that briefcase.

Well, well wow. Wow!

Barry! Barry!

What are you working on buddy?

Just this new
prototype. Hi everyone.

This place is...

Where stars are born!

Everything's okay!

This is very
unprofessional in my opinion.

Don't use the jacket. We
paid good money for that!

Khalid, should we run?

You run. I stay.

I'm running.

Welcome to Evanbots! This is the
assembly room where every part

is hand assembled.

First here at our nail painting
station is my buddy Barry.

After assembly
every part then moves on to

rigorous testing for movement.
This here is my buddy Dale,

our handshake specialist
manning the hand job.

Thank you sir. Up next

we go to our breast augmentation
station. We have over 1500

different types of boobs for
your choosing. How are you sir?

You're doing great pal.

Now I'd like for you to follow
me to quality control.

Come this way.

This is a private testing area.

I've got 10
more of these to test today!

You get the
idea. Quality control.

At Evanbots, we love
you and our robots do too.

Here at Evanbots
even you can get laid.

At Evanbots
satisfaction guaranteed.

The customer comes first.

Women aren't robots.
They're not sex toys.

They're
thinking, feeling people.

Don't you see the
damage this does to people?

They are just dolls.

With perfect
bodies, willing to do anything

they're
programmed by a man to do.

I see
what you're saying.

Do you?

Barry how smart
is the artificial intelligence

of these robot women.

Pretty smart, I
programmed them so they learn at

a high level. The idea is they
evolve and the sexual experience

are new and
more satisfying every time.

Wow, that's amazing! High five.

Alright see you. Wow.

Sex sound.

Fahad waited like
a creep until everyone left

the factory that night.

Well, well, well.
Woo! Wow. I love that.

WOO! Hoo, Hoo. Bark, Bark!

Time to put the final
ingredient together.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Haha there are no
gentlemen. Ladies,

You are going
to my home the kingdom of Allur.

You might be aware of our
tradition of zuku zuku. Zuku

zuku is more than love. Zuku
zuku is more than romance.

Zuku zuku is more than sex.

1,000 orgasms working as one.

Zuku Zuku!

Zuku Zuku!

Wow, Zuku Zuku.

Zuku Zuku!

Lets do it!

Wow, Wow. Woo Hoo, hoo!

Good evening. I'm Talia Kaplan.

Joining us tonight
is Evan Kleinman, the

CEO of Evan Advanced Robotics
corporation, which is now

bringing the tiny kingdom
of Allur back from bankruptcy.

Thank you very much for joining
us. So why sex robots and why

only the kingdom of Allur?

Okay, First, things first.

Is my
Instagram handle down there?

Yeah, it is?

I'm sorry, what was your
question? Right. Sex robots.

Of course. Um,
yeah sex robots. It

was an idea that I've had
brewing in the back of my head

for, gosh, quite some time and
it's a concept I've come back

to over and over again. You know
something I really believed in.

You build all your robots right
here in Los Angeles yet you ship

every single one to the
kingdom of Allur. Why?

Well
you know I thought it would be a

good place to start. I saw their
country really struggling and

this was an opportunity
to get them back on track.

You know at Evanbots
we're all about giving back.

Alright, well when do you plan
to expand and when will you

start selling these robots
right here in the United States.

Soon, very soon.

The contracts are in place and

soon we will
have worldwide distribution.

Alright, well that's all the

time we have for tonight thank
you very much Evan Kleinman.

Hold on, is my Instagram
handle down there? Yeah?

Can you confirm, is it there?

Alright,
well everybody have a good

night. Thank you
so much for joining us.

Wow, I love that.

Yo that was awesome! Did
you guys see me! My followers

are going through the roof.

Barry we gotta
start production on

these beautiful
babies immediately.

You completely left me out.
You gave me no credit at all.

Dude, I didn't wanna complicate
things, okay?

We know you're the real deal.
Let the people think what they

want. We're gonna need 10,000 of
these by the end of the month.

Can you make that happen?

Wait, wait, 10,000?

Yes.

Allur already has enough.

You weren't serious about
what you said on the TV

show right?
We're not expanding to America.

If we bring the
robots here then what makes

Allur so special,
what brings in the tourists?

Look you didn't think we could
limit this to just one

dinky little country did you?

If we don't make and sell
these here somebody else will.

Believe me, and what
good does that do Allur? Right?

Okay, I saved your
kingdom dude. You're welcome.

Thank you.

Just trust me.

I often ask
myself: is technology enough?

If it isn't human...

If it doesn't touch you...

If it doesn't feel you up...

and down, then
what is technology?

But one more gizmo

on the road to a
cold hard gizmo-ocracy.

Let me put it this way.

Sexual satisfaction. What is it?

Can you touch it?
Can you hold it?

You sure as hell can! Ladies
and gentleman introducing the

Evanbots for the
American marketplace!

And just like that the robots

were sweeping horny Americans
all over the country.

Yo I hear those robots perform
that zuku zuku shit man.

This is what
we needed in America.

Cheers to Evanbots and me
finally moving out of Barry's

crappy apartment.

Hey! Why
would you say that?

I'm Evan!

Oh.

What's your name?

I don't know.

You
don't know your own name?

No, I don't know if I
want to tell you my name.

Oh, well maybe you do. I'm Evan

of Evanbots and we're
kind of a hot company right now.

Well, what do you
do, or make, or whatever?

We make sex robots!

Ew.

What did you tell her?

I don't know.

Anyway, Steph you want to
run lines with me tomorrow?

Sorry, I got a protest to

attend outside
your factory tomorrow.

Steph, come on.

Okay, Wednesday!

Oh, hey! Got here
quicker than I expected.

Guys this is my cousin Vanessa.
Here have a seat.

This is Evan.

Well I have to go. I have some

coding to get through
before I call it a night.

Okay good night.
Oh, I gotta go to

I'll see you guys.
Good night.

What's your name?

Vanessa.

What is it?

Vanessa.

Oh.

Although he was now
rich, Evan was still a bitch.

We are better
than this as a society.

When
men and women aren't equal this

kind of grotesque
objectification will not stand!

We aren't against sex. We aren't
against sexuality but we insist

on two consenting adults to

equal consent. Don't go! Shit!

Wow, Steph, Steph. Steph.

Again where
are all the protestors?

It's not that funny.

We are providing maximum
pleasures to people who have

difficulty finding pleasure.

It's for poor man who is
suffering from anxiety and

doesn't have confidence
and good looks.

What?

It's for man who want to have
sex with women!

And by the way no
one has good looks like me.

It's a blessing from God!

Hey Fahad!

I got to go and good
luck with the protestors!

Things were
going great for Evanbots.

They got a Jew and an Asian guy

with a gray wig to
give them additional funding for

mass production
across the world.

Barry look
at the ratio here. It's a bar

full of women. How is it
possible, you're alone again?

Look, do you plan on being
a virgin for the rest of your

life?

God.

You know
you have really nice eyes.

Nice eyes? That's all?

Oh, and the
bags underneath them.

Oh.

I'm sorry I'm just not used to
being around somebody

so beautiful.

You know. You're a lot more

charming than
you give yourself credit for.

Evan, I'm so glad you made it.

Hey!

Isn't this place awesome?

Yeah, yeah it's incredible.

I'm Rachel, who are you?

Vanessa.

You lucky girl. Evan must have

shown you his
VR toy in his bedroom.

Oh no, no, no, no.
That's just...

Yeah, uh anyway,
good seeing you and sorry for

interrupting, but a bunch of us
are going golfing tomorrow with

the real stars of Instagram and

since you're way over 500k,
would you want to come?

Yes! That would be awesome.

Vanessa will join me.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yo bro. I love your robots!

Thank you!

Dude, four hours last night
with one.

We aim to please.
It's in our mission statement.

Do you follow me on Instagram?

Of course I
follow you on Instagram.

Wait for the updates on the
future bots.

It's gonna blow your mind.

Dude I love your selfies!

Thank you.

Evan Kleinman!

Show him the present.

Um, we baked
you a special cupcake.

Um, thank you?

Yeah, thanks.

You're welcome bro.
Let's get out of here.

See you guys.

Do
you want to get out of here?

Yes.

That special cupcake had LSD,

CBD, Propecia and Viagra in it.

Hey Virgin.

What?

Virgin! Virgin! Virgin!

Virgin Virgin Virgin!

I said stop it!

Hey Mate, you got a light?

Hey mister, I don't bite.

Mate you alright?

You don't bite?

Looks like you need a little
BP. Barry Penis.

Say hello to little Barry.

Come to the Barry.

This is unacceptable.

My client is clearly guilty!
I mean innocent!

You need to
resign immediately otherwise the

entire company will be
in jeopardy.

I didn't know what was going on,
I don't remember any of this.

It's all over Facebook,
Instagram, Snapchat.

I mean even Twitter.

Someone's out to get me.
Evan just tell the media

someone's out to get me.

Well I'm afraid
that's not going to cut it.

Khalid, tell
them this isn't me. Tell them!

It looks like you.

Fahad?

Not you, definitely not you.

Evan will vouch
for me, won't you Evan?

You sexually
assaulted a paparazzo, bro!

I created this!

Look, we got a
golf game to get to.

Get rid of him. Do it quick.
Nothing personal, Barry.

That's not cool!

Don't touch me!

Freeze! Darwin here.

Oh, will you marry me Maria?

My name isn't Maria, but yes.

Yes.

And last but not
least, Steph and Evan.

You had your
chance Jonathan.

I've moved on.

One last time Elizabeth, that's
all I ask. Do the snake

dance for me and I'll leave you
alone forever.

One last time.

Wow, Bravo! Bravo!

Okay,
apparently Evan decided to

take the knee on tonight's
performance.

But one more question
before we conclude our

evening of horrible theatre.
How many people here noticed

that I've lost weight?

How could he do this to me?

Steph, the scene is over.

And remember,
you have an opportunity

to get back at him
on national TV tomorrow.

Oh shit, the debate is tomorrow.

Yes!

Screw it.

What?

I want to get drunk.

Oh. Oh, no no.

You're kinda cute,
you know that?

Yes I know that.

You do?

Of course I do.

Do you maybe
want to come back to my place?

Steph,
you have tremendous talent but

Fahad needs to be with the

prettiest
girl in the world! I'm sorry.

You're talking about yourself
in the third person now?

It's the king.
Fahad, we must go at once.

Oh, the king,
okay. Take revenge!

Oh, okay the king. Cheerio,
governor, pinkies up! Pip pip.

Welcome to access Taliwood
with my co-host Rick Rainbow.

Hi!

Today show is solely dedicated
to talking about Evan Kleinman.

That Evan
Kleinman is so hot right now.

Yeah and guys he
is blowing up on social media.

I just want to gobble
him up. Yum yum yum yum.

This is great news! Are you guys
seeing this? This is incredible.

Alright, I got to go.

Wait a minute. I want
to talk to you about Steph.

She's the only thing
on my mind right now, okay?

But you stood
her up at the showcase.

And she'll get over it.

Oh really? You can really
be a dick sometimes. Asshole!

So rude.

You know what makes me
the most mad? Is that at the

end of this I'm the stupid one
because I thought I'd give him

him a chance to actually
come back and apologize

and maybe try to talk
things out, but no, I'm

the stupid one. He's
late to his own stupid show that

I agreed to be on.

He's coming.

Unbelievable.

Hey!

Hey? Where
were you yesterday?

Look, Steph.

You know how important
that showcase was to me.

I know and I'm sorry. Okay?

Look I have a
million other things that are

more important on
my plate right now.

Other things
like your new friends?

I was playing golf with the real
stars of Instagram. Me!

Think about that for a
second. How incredible is that?

Wow that's just...

You're an asshole!

And I fell asleep.
I had a snooze.

That's
your excuse? Fatigue?

Look the whole
world doesn't revolve around

you and your stupid little
theatre scene. Okay?

And in case you haven't noticed.
Wait!

I don't even
show up to that anymore!

We used
to be friends, remember?

Yeah, when I was nobody.

Oh, you are somebody, alright!

I have followers now!

Yeah, you have herpes following
you from your little girlfriend.

Good evening and thank you for
watching talking with Talia.

Joining us tonight is Evan
Kleinman the CEO of Evan

Advanced Robotics Corporation
and we also have Sarah

Stein-Goldberg, the
president of the

feminist empowerment mission
advanced level experience, aka

female. Thank you both
so very much for joining us.

You, a man, don't have the right
to say that your robot girl toys

aren't sexist.

We're providing entertainment.

For men. And what
kind of real man would prefer a

doll to a living
breathing woman?

Me! That'd be awesome.

There's one guy.
You know you wouldn't believe

how realistic the
breathing in our products are.

Ugh, aren't you afraid these
plastic computers are going to

get hacked, jeopardizing
the lives of millions?

No our servers are triple secure

and besides
there's a kill switch.

A kill switch?

That's right, with
one click of a button we can

shut them all down.

So if your hotbots aren't
sexist, why do you only

manufacture female robots, huh?

Why not make male
robots for the females to enjoy?

You're right, you're right!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!

We will immediately
begin development on

male bots for the market.

Follow me on Instagram at
Evan the CEO

for updates on male bots!

Ah, I'll definitely be trying
one of those! Well that's all

the time we have for tonight
folks. Thank you for watching

and have a good night.

Thank you Steph!

Why did you say that?

We never discussed making
male robots and

that's the sort of
thing you need to take to the-

Shut up! Alright you work
for me! Look, I was challenged

and I took up that challenge.
My followers demand it.

This is way
too complicated.

The job description
said all we'd have to do

is have sex with robots.

You know, Barry never really
told us what he was up to.

He didn't exactly share.

What the
hell am I paying you guys for?

Maybe it is in our best
interest in bringing Barry back.

I agree. One hundred percent.

That Evan Kleinman
is so hot right now!

Yeah, and guys he
is blowing up on social media.

I just want to gobble him up.
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

Hello?

No, I'd love to come back.

This or this?

Do you think he's going to come?

I don't know. We'll see.

Thanks for coming
man, I appreciate it.

No Problem.

I bet you're
still mad at me, huh?

I understand. It
wasn't personal.

Exactly, it wasn't. So let's get
back to work man!

You got a company
to build. Let's go.

Let's!

Yeah.

I have never felt

so uncomfortable
making a bot before.

Especially the genitals.

Would you like a massage?

This is what
we needed in America!

That's what I'm saying.

All he does all day
is pay attention to me.

It's creeping me out!

Hello.

I gotta go.

What?

Do you need a hug?

I do not.

Do you want to tell me
fascinating stories about the

good times you've had with your
female friends. I'm all ears.

No I want you to ignore me.

Go watch
football on TV, away from me.

But I'm
designed to only look at you.

I give you the night
off! You are free to go.

Go have fun with your friends,
get drunk, come home late.

Oh, you want to have sex?

No. Oh my god. Where's the box.

I'm sending you back.
I need my money back.

80 percent of the man bots are
being returned! I need a real

man! That's what
she says, I need a real man.

Don't they work right?

I've heard the sex is fantastic.

They work fine!

The sex is fine!
It's not a technical issue.

It's their attitude.

Okay, I get it. I get it!
The man bots were a bust.

You know,
Steph knew this would happen.

She tricked me into this.

Hey! Don't
blame this on Steph, okay?

Right, We gotta go.

Where are you going?

The big show. Couple of the
year. Homosapian magazine!

Homo... Sapians.

You'll all be watching. I hope.

Okay good luck.

Oh, Barry, what are you doing?

Figuring out how
to be able to remotely access

neuro-structures of mammals
to be able to send customized

signals spinally and ultimately

modify the hypothalamus!

Control their minds.

Control their minds?

Hhm, hmmm.

Wow. Okay,
I gotta go to meet Steph.

I'll see you.

Hello!

Hey!

Welcome, come on in.

Wow. Cool place.

Oh, thank you. Woo.

Hey, I really enjoyed
your script by the way.

Oh, thank you,
I owe it to myself.

By the way,
Evan and Vanessa are on

TV, we
should probably watch them.

Ugh, do we have to?

Yes it's background noise.

Fine, but the second he gets
obnoxious we turn it off right?

Oh, we're gonna miss it.

Right, um, that way?

The TV is this way.

Cool.

Okay.
I'll be back!

Dang, swanky place.

I wish my
parents could get me something

like this. What's this?
A big ass photo of you.

Oh.

Hey Steph, here is our scene.

Oh. Ohhhh.

Fahad, something wrong?

Is this a mirror?

Fahad, are you okay?

Is this a mirror?

Uh, yeah?

Is this my face?

You're joking right?

Is this me?

Uh, yeah?

No! It's not me!

No. Is it a mirror?

Are you okay?

It's not me. No it cannot be.

Are you like
having a stroke or something?

This me?

Fahad, what is it?

No! What did you do?

That mirror was
covered for a reason!

What? I didn't know!

Fahad, Fahad
we have to talk.

There is nothing you can say.

I will never
star in any action movies!

Fahad, we need to talk. You
have always looked this way.

No! My mom told me that my
father told me that. Everyone

told me do not look in mirror.

Look at me now. I cannot
believe this is my face.

Fahad you have
always looked this way.

The mirror did not make you
ugly. It's just a mirror.

There is no curse.

No curse?
This is me? Is this me?

It's always been me?

No, no, no!

No, no Fahad. No, no, no!

I hate you! I hate you!
I hate you from all my heart!

Fahad?

He looked in the
mirror its not my fault!

I swear it's not my fault!

You lied to me, why?

You are beautiful on the inside.

Fahad, we were
trying to protect you.

Your mother, she
wanted you to be happy.

By hiding me from my own image?
Screw everything. Screw the

Screw the company.
Screw the kingdom.

Do not ever call
me again. Do not call me.

Never. Do not call me!

Come on Evan, pick up!

Evans phone here.
Do you follow me on Instagram?

If you don't I will not call you
back. At Evan the CEO.

Despite the companies failure
with the manbots, Evan's stardom

and relationship with Vanessa
rose to new levels of fame.

Good evening everyone! And thank
you for watching goodnight with

Talia. We have a fantastic
guest for you tonight, Evanessa!

Couple of the year,

welcome, welcome.
Hi, nice to meet you.

Nice to see you again. Thank
you for being here and folks

we are breaking every records
rating for a Tuesday night in

July. Congratulations on being
named couple of the year.

Thank you.

Please have a seat.

So tell me Evan how
did you guys first meet?

Well we actually
met through her cousin, Barry.

Probably the strangest, funniest
looking little guy I've ever

known and he's Vanessa's
cousin and we were at

Throw rooftop lounge one
night and she was there to meet

him and
we've hit it off ever since.

Oh, how romantic.

Well, your robots, they are so
real why date a

real woman, no offense.

Well, yes our
robots are perfect,

I mean perfection
personified but, uh-

it's Vanessa's flaws
that I'm in love with.

Ohhhh....

Well, how does
it feel to be so famous, so

beautiful, so successful, toast
of the town. Couple of the year.

It feels
sensational Tamara. Just-

Talia.

Whatever, Tamara.
It's sensational and it

feels really, really good.

Yeah and there's a lot of people
I'd like to thank, uh,

starting with, um,

whatever, it doesn't matter
I don't remember their names

anyways. But there is one thing
I would like to add.

Vanessa, you
would be the perfect addition-

to my portfolio.

Oh my goodness,
it appears we have a proposal.

What do you say?

Will you marry me?

Buenisimo.

Oh, you speak Spanish.

Suburashi. Zeh Tov Maod!

Marhabban Marhabban Marhabban.

Yes proceed to the
route. In and Out burger.

Should we go to the sahara tent?

Vanessa, the
whole world is watching.

What are you doing?

Pie equals 3.14159265359.

Baby, baby, baby...

Vanessa. Vanessa.

Oh, my goodness! Breaking news
Vanessa is a robot!

No! No!

Evan, you're
a cheat. You're a fraud.

No, no, no, no, no.
Get that off!

You saw it here first guys.

No! Vanessa, hey!

Can you believe it?

She was a robot
and he didn't even notice it.

What an idiot!

Ooh. Ooh.

Señorita? Uh, hello? Help! Help!

Hello, anyone? Help?

All around the
world the robots were shutting

off, but who did it?

Even the
few remaining male bots

were shutting down as well.

It doesn't sicken
you to sit with someone so ugly?

You're not ugly.

Thank you, but
you are wrong about that.

Looks aren't everything.
Haven't you ever heard

don't judge a
book by it's cover.

Writers say this,
publishers know it's not true.

Well, your script
has nothing to do with looks and

it's very good.
Beautiful in fact.

What is this? Why
you didn't tell me I was ugly?

Why? Why! What is this?

You didn't ask.

I was attracted to you
because of your attitude anyway.

Confidence is hot.

Really? I like that.

I like this.

What is this?
What is this?

Hey, Good morning.

Morning.

Son, did you sleep well?

Do you still fit into your bed?

Yeah.

Listen, you know
we're very proud of you.

Don't be.

What are you talking about? You
made so much money and you went

after what you wanted.

Yeah, I abandoned all my friends

to fall in love with a robot
and now I'm left with nothing.

I know that this is what you
don't want to be right now,

back home with your parents.
What you had is what you wanted,

were you ever actually happy?

Yeah, I thought I was, you know.

But looking back at it,
Vanessa, just

did whatever I wanted and
agreed with everything I said.

And
you know she never did fart.

Farting is not good
for relationships.

Listen to me,

I know that you and I haven't
seen eye to eye and I know I've

been very tough on you, but this

is the best advice
I can give you right now.

Listen to me,

fame and success can give you a
sense of false confidence.

Here you have the fame.
Here you have the success.

You have an opportunity here!

Which is what?

From everything bad something
good comes out.

Use your notoriety
for good things.

Heal your inner wounds.

Amend your wrong doing.

And make it up to your
friends by doing something good.

Isn't that all what the bots are
about, helping lonely men?

I mean, Yeah I guess.
In a way, sure.

Oh my God, I hate my life.

Ah! I can't feel
the zuku zuku with you.

Excuse me, the what?

I would love to be alone,
would you please just leave?

My pleasure.

I know you
are a hot girl...

Sorry.

Hey! Fahad around?

Oh, that looks good.

I know. Just don't touch.

I'm so beautiful, woohoo!

So beautiful!

Someone's feeling better.

Oh guys, I have news from Allur.

With the robots gone, tourism is
back up a tad, but-

it's still a bad situation.

My movie could have saved
Allur, but we don't have money.

No money. No honey.

No.

No? We didn't
lose all that money?

Do you think I'm some kind
of dummy? I cashed in our

investment after we made a
killing on the American Launch.

Wow! Wow!
Wow! So amazing!

Man you are so beautiful.

So are you.

So Khalid if you guys sold your
stake in Evanbots like forever

ago, what were
you guys still doing there?

I liked having friends.

Plus it was a way to keep
Fahad away from mirrors.

Yeah. I know who's going
to be the star in my movie.

Well. You're going to have
talk to my agent about that.

I thought you
were my agent too.

I'm nobody's agent.

Bye Fahad!

Who's this?

She is no one.

Where are you going?

Hey come on Steph!

What did I do, what with
all the girls. Oh my...

Oh, she brought this for me?

Uh huh, enjoy.

Wow, Steph!

You know just last
week I was having a heart to

heart with my weed smoking
construction working dad the

other day and it made me realize

that what I thought
I wanted wasn't in fact true.

I was just
seeking fame for all the wrong

reasons and I realized that I,
me, myself.

Was enough and I didn't

need Instagram followers to feel

complete and um, you
know I quickly realized

that farting in relationships
that was important,

not the fame, not the followers.

And I really owe my dad for that
one. Even if he is a stoner.

Thank you so much, I'll take
any questions you might have.

Yeah, you in the front.

Um, what was it like when you
realized you hit your lowest.

My lowest?

I'm horny!

Um that's not really a
question, but okay. You there!

I'm horny, too!

Babe what are you doing?
We just got back from Cabo.

Also not a question.
These aren't questions!

Fahad! Get out of here!

Fahad! The warehouse!

I'm horny! I'm horny. I'm horny.

Hi Steph.

I liked the cake.

You probably
think I'm a sexist asshole.

Steph when
I found out I was ugly,

I wasn't sure if I
could be attractive anymore.

So you had to get
your dick wet to test it out.

Yes.

How'd that work out for you?

Terrible.

Good.

Steph,

I feel
different when I'm around you.

You do?

Yes, I do. Because you
accepted me for who I am and

allowed me to accept myself. You
make me feel like I'm enough.

That eyebrow is enough.

I'm so horny. I'm so horny.

I'm so horny. I'm so horny.

No, no, no, no!

Woah, woah, woah.

I'm so horny. So horny.

No, no, no, no!
Woah, woah, woah!

So horny. So horny!

It's not the right place.

Oh, huh, ho.

What are you doing?
It's not the right place.

Oh!

Quite the overactive
hypothalamus she has there.

Barry,

Barry, to the warehouse.
Barry-

Barry!

Fahad help!

You go save yourself,
it's too late for me!

State and
local officials are warning

everyone to stay inside lock
your doors and close your

windows. Or don't.

Ooh, It's getting hot in here.
Ooh.

You know what?

That's all the time we have for-

Gotta go!

Barry! Barry! Barry!
The switch. Barry!

You!
What are you doing here?

Darwin.

Do not call me Darwin.
I am not Darwin anymore.

Okay! Douchebag!

I knew that you were
causing all these problems.

Me?
Yes, you!

Me?
Yes, you!

You're the one who
destroyed this company,

ruined my life by hitting the
kill switch and now

you want to torment me further?

I didn't do that.

It was you.

No! Darwin, It was you.

You and your disgusting moles
and stupid singular eyebrow.

Hey guys.

Long time, no see my friends!

Welcome back to Evanbots.

Or should I say Barry Bots.

The company,
The company that I created!

Oh you have nothing to say?

Oh, oh.

You didn't
tell me Vanessa was a robot.

Whoah!

I created Vanessa
to amp up your self esteem.

Hey! You're welcome.

Also you said no one could
ever fall in love with a robot.

Well you did, didn't you.

Boop!

Ah go to Hell.

I thought we were friends.

And then you kicked me
out of my own company!

And because you two ruined me

I was the one who
shut everything down.

What? You didn't do it?

I just told
you, I didn't do this.

Shhhh.

I wanted you two
to witness me losing my

virginity first hand.

Drumroll please.

Oh!

Wooo!!

I created a bioweapon

that affects the neurons in
women and

allows me to control them.

Barry! Barry Barry Barry Barry!

Holy shit.

Yes! Every woman in the
world now wants to have sex

with me. Real women, not rubber.

No no no no, No!
Oh fudge.

Enjoy the show boys.

Barry! Barry! Barry. Barry.

Darwin.

I'm not Darwin.

You are Darwin.
You've always been Darwin.

Darwin, think!

Hi. I'm Steph.

Steph, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too.

I was attracted to you
because of your attitude anyway.

I feel different
when I'm around you.

Wow. Bravo, bravo.

STEPH; Your kinda
cute you know that.

It is I, Darwin to the rescue.

Now bite the rope off.

Why am I doing the biting?

Because you have
those nice American teeth.

Do it!

Alright, alright!

Oh no! Noooo!

Barry! Barry! Barry!

Woooohooo!

Yes, Untie me.
Darwin untie me. Go!

Darwin Save us!

What if? What if?

What happened?
What's going on? What?

Where are you going?

Where are we?

Who the hell are you?

Ew, what a creep.
Let's get out of here.

Come back!

Barry! Of course it was
you. You and your virginity.

Evan.

I knew it was you.

I didn't mean to do it.

Steph?

Where's Fahad?

In here.

Fahad!

Fahad! Fahad!

Oh my God.
I'm so glad you're okay.

Yeah, I'm okay.
I'm so happy to see you.

I'm so happy too.

Don't move. It's over.

Hey you guys!
Oh my god I'm so happy to

see you. Look I
was such a dick and

I'm sorry I can see that now.
Okay, the fame, it just,

it went to my head.

Alright? I don't know how else
to put this, but you guys are my

best friends.
Will you forgive me?

Oh Fahad. I love you buddy.

You are beautiful.
Thank you so much.

Don't be a
dick sometimes.

I love you.

It's good to have you back.

Darwin you saved us.

I'm not
Darwin. I'm Fahad.

I love you guys.

We love you too.

I don't get it.
Aren't they like royal?

Why are they getting
married in her backyard?

It's a jewish wedding. The
bride side pays for everything.

We are gathered here
today to witness the generic

non-denominational union of two
beautiful people, Fahad and

Steph, who I had the great
pleasure to meet just last week.

Oh father!

Fahad!

What are you doing here?

You saved the kingdom!
Everybody wants to come

to Allur to see famous
action Hollywood movie star

Fahad Bin Alawi!

The country is abuzz.

Tourism is back
and stronger than ever.

Woo! That's incredible!

Fahad, you're incredible.

Thank you. Thank you.

Kiss the bride.

You may now kiss the bride.

And so Fahad did it.
He became a famous action movie

star and he saved his country
all at the same time.

Life was good
for the ugly fellow.

Hello.

Hi, Congratulations.

Thank you.

Where are you two
going on your honeymoon?

Oh, we
are going to North Dakota.

Oh yes, the
obvious choice of course.

For the opening of
Sex Action the movie.

Oh, we won't be
there for a long time because

we are going to open
movie studios in Allur.

You're saying there's going
to be a sequel to the remake of

the adaptation
of the television show?

Absolutely.

Well who's going to be
in it except for you, of course.

Oh, you will
have to ask my agent.

No, no, no. My
client deserves 10 times that

amount are you crazy?

I will tell you
one thing. There will be a big

part for my friend Evan!

Fahad, no no no.
I'm done with the spotlight man.

It's over.

Is that Darwin? Hi!

Hi ladies. How you doing?

My God, sorry. Can we take a
picture with you? Please...

Yeah, of course.

Oh my God. I can't
believe this is happening.

Thank you so much!

Darwin! Wow, Wow, Wow!!

Darwin here. I can't believe it!

Fahad, I'm so proud of you, you
showed the world that you can be

not hot and
still be an action movie star.

Yes.

That's awesome, Darwin!

Hey.

Hi.

How's it going?

Good.

Pretty good wedding, huh?

Mhm, yeah.

Um-

Before we flirt any further,

you, you aren't a
robot by chance are you?

No.

No?

No.

Do you want to dance?

Yeah.

Thank you. Meet
me on the dance floor. Come on.