Seven Mummies (2006) - full transcript

While being transported through the Arizona desert in a van, six convicted prisoners escapes after a car accident. Their leader kills the security guard and they kidnap a female guard trying to reach the Mexican border. In their runaway, they find a gold medallion and later they reach the house of an old Apache, and they ask the direction to reach Mexico. The Apache tells them that in the opposite direction there is a hidden Spanish treasure. They decide to seek the gold and they stumble in an old ghost town, where the friendly population is formed by vampires and zombies and the local sheriff Drake is evil.

(logo buzzing)


(men grunting)


(grunting loudly)



(eerie music)

- We're rich!

We're rich, Jebediah!

No more digging.

(horse whinnies)

(hooves clopping)

Ah! (horse whinnies)


No. No!

(sword scrapes)


(horse whinnies) (mysterious rhythmic music)

(sword scrapes)



(breathing heavily)

- This is the prison transport G-29 to headquarters, over.

Prison transport G-29 to headquarters, over.

(slams) (suspenseful music)

(grunting) (shouting)

Back in the truck!

Get back--


- Bitch!

- Bring the bitch with us.

If she tries to run, fucking kill her.

- The keys, man! - Yeah, what's up, dog?

- [Prisoner] It's this right here.

- I got 'em. - The fucking keys.

- You two make sure that the Lone Ranger's not riding off

into the fucking sunset.

- Keys, where the fuck the keys at though?

- Yeah, what's up, dog? - The fucking keys, dog.

- [Prisoner] Here, here, here, here.


- What do you think, probably twenty miles to the border?

- Something like that.

- What do I smell, fear?

Are you scared, bitch?

- They'll give you 25 to life for taking a hostage.

- Maybe. - Big fucking maybe.

Is he fucking dead?

Come on!

Is he dead?

Come on!

'Cause you're fucking dead now.

(gunshot blasts)


- He's dead, huh?

- Bitch, move!

(heavy rhythmic music)

♪ Peter Pan, the Lone Ranger ♪

- [Santos] What about you, dog?

What you busted fore, holmes?

- I've made some bad choices.

- He said bad choices?

- [Prisoner] Is he trying to say he's fucking innocent?

- Are you trying to say you had a public pretender?

What's up?


I'm innocent too, man.

I'm innocent too.

(gangster rap music)

(grunting) (shouting)

- Splash, let me go!

(shouts) Let me go!

Come on!

Take a seat here.

- I'm from the hood motherfucker.

You got us lost in the desert?

Hey dog, that's for real.

I need some water or some shit, dog, something to drink.

You know what I mean, what's up?

- Yeah, 'cause, boss, in the list of great ideas,

this is your best, lost in the desert.

- You see those cliffs?

There could be water up there.

- (chuckles) Yeah, or a long march to the death.

- You gotta a better idea?

- Hey, what the hell you doing, dog?

- You said you wanted water, right?

- Yeah, so what you digging for?

- There are pools underground.

Sometimes it collects in the mud holes.

- I dig to the fucking China to get some water out of there.

- Dig for me too.

- [Prisoner] The motherfuckers are digging

for puddles and shit.

- You moles are wasting your time.

Hey, hey, that's a skull, man.

What's up?

- [Prisoner] A dead man. - Get out of the way.

- It's a really dead man.

It's an old whole dead man.

- What is this, gold? - Give me that.

Give me that!

- It's a Jesuit cross, ancient scripture.

- What do you mean, scripture?

Like Bible, Koran, shit like that?

- Yeah. - What does it fucking say?

- I don't know, I can't read this. Fuck it.

Let's keep moving.

Come on!

Who the fuck am I?

I'm Jesus, come on, let's walk.

- I aint following you anywhere.

You coming with me, or the guy that's gonna get you killed.

- Let's keep moving.

- You all are screwed.

You're dead, you're gonna die.

(ominous music)

- Hey, this is all going to shit, man!

What's up?

- [Prisoner] Look at this, here.

- [Prisoner] Fucking got us trapped like rats.

- Hey, I'm gonna outrun you.

- Hey, it ain't a swimming hole!

- Motherfucker.

- Hey, old man!

Old man!

Which way is to the border, the Mexico border?

You speak English?

- Do you speak Apache?

Trade for water.

Trade for water.


You seek Tumacacori?

- What? - Tumacacori, lost gold.

- What the hell is this fool talking about, man?

Seriously, what's up?

- You wish to return the medallion.

- We're looking for the border.

- (sighs) I ain't looking for no border, man.

You got something to eat, some food?

- Plenty food.

Plenty food.

- Some damn snakes, man.

I ain't eatin' that.

- You a real Indian?

(frightening music)

(singing in foreign language)


- What'd he start singing?

- He started singing a death chant, man.

- He must've seen something.

Nah, but he's singing that we're all gonna die and shit,

you know what I'm saying?

- Come on, let's eat.

- I heard those things tastes like chicken!

- Let me get some of that right quick, dog.

- Shit ain't half bad.

- Nah, nah, nah.

Wash it off a little bit though, you know what I mean?

- Fuck that shit. - Fuck it.

Eat it dirty.

- So why haven't you made your break?

- Safety in numbers.

Until we get to the border.

You alright?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- I will tell you the legend of Tumacacori,

the story of the lost gold.

- You talking about treasure?

- Seven mummies and seven gold medallions.

The directorio of Tumacacori

has been known for over 500 years,

since the Spanish first enslaved the Hohokoham people,

and forced them to free the treasure

from the Guachapa Mountains.

Below the mountain pass were twelve arrastas

and twelve patias.

The arrastas were used to crush the ore,

and the patias were used to screen the mountain clay

from the gold before crossing the wild river.

The treasure was hidden deep in the vast desert.

And seven Jesuit priests were sworn

to protect the secret location.

For almost 400 years no one came.

Then a small town was built over the site

where the white man came to dig in the desert.

The town still stands,

a place that can only be found

when the day and the night are of equal length

everywhere at once.

Return the seventh medallion and there will be more gold

than 10 men can spend in 10 lifetimes together.

- What?

- Hey, dog, what's this fool talking about, man, seriously?

- I don't know.

- Border is that way,

gold is that way.

- I'm with the gold, homie.

(smacks hands) I'm out.


(eerie music)

(gunshots blasting)

- I'm not dying!

I'm not!

(thuds) Stop following me!


(gunshot blasts)

(breathing heavily)

(gunshots blasting)



- Crazy old man was right.

- Hey dog, we finally ran into a town.

Hey, let's go get the gold, yo.

- Wait, just wait.

Everybody gets equal splits,

except for I'm taking Blade's share.

- Hell no, you not, dog!

- I'm not feeling that, homeboy.

- Hey, this ain't a democracy!

You two got a problem with that?

- As long as we make us rich, I don't give a fuck.

Better just quit your bitching, homie.

- And I guess you don't have a problem?

(dramatic music)

(horse whinnies)

- It's always like that just before it drops.

You, uh, just get in town?

Saloon's the best place to be till after dark.

Name's Kile.

Come on in, I'll show you around.

- Shit, you ain't gotta tell me twice.

- You got pinot grigio? - You got tequila?

What's up?

(Old Western piano music) (chattering)

- What's popping?


God damn, that shit looks tasty!

(glass shattering)

- This'll work!

- Let's sit down and have a drink, dog,

you know what I mean?

- Let's kick it. - I'm thirsty.

- Here, sit, yo.

- [Patron] Shit, he's got one of my flavors. (laughs)

- Compliments of the house.

First and last one's always free.

- I'll drink to that. - Hell yeah.

Fill 'em up with that one.

- Here's a little meat to put on your bones., ma'am.

First and last one, always free.

- Hey, sir, sir, Bartender, I like this girl over here.

- I'd die to see this one here.

She looks like Maria, the bitch I was telling you about

back home, you know what I mean?

(suspenseful music)

- Stay calm.

- Ma'am.

So how you boys doing?

Any of you fellas see that sign out there,

the one that says I got to register you're here in the town

before you get all kinda settled in?

- Well, we're new in town, and I didn't see no sign.

(hammer clicks)

- Well, that's the law,

Sheriff's order.

- Let's arrest 'em, Cap!

(hammers clicking) Let's kill the fuckers.

- Mr. Drake, that bright sun was truly blinding.

Why don't we give our young visitors here

some time to adjust to our generous civil behavior?


- The light was low on our face.

Ain't that right, baby, hmm?

- That sound about right to you?

You couldn't see nothing, that's right?


I believe

I smell bullshit.


Funny thing, bullshit, thieves, liars,

they all kind of smell the same.

So I say to you, I say seek not

the plunder that is buried in the evil earth.

No, no, no, I say to you,

I say lay up your riches in heaven!



I must confess,

I surely do love

and believe in a beautiful woman.

Love pretty ladies. (laughing)

I surely do

believe pretty ladies.


Gentlemen, welcome to our little community.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Welcome to our little community. (laughs maniacally)

You know what I say?

I say that you're to enjoy the nice warm hospitality

of our little town here.

I say to you,

drink all of these cold libations that you can!

I say to you,

to just simply take anything that you desire,

because the darkness will be upon us,

soon enough.

(hammers click)

- That's some trippy shit, dog, you know what I mean?

They didn't even take us in and we got this shit on.

- It's all for the show.

A beer.

- This dickhead's gonna get laid before us?

- No, no, no. I don't know about you, dog,

but I'm gettin' me a cowgirl or some shit, homie.

- Yeah, I gotta get my boogie on.

What's up, homie don't fuck around.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Pops, get over here.

Bend over!

- [Wallet] Get me at the bar, homeboys.

- Man, don't ever trip, Wallet, I got you, homie.

Let me get my mack on first, you know what I saying?

What's your name, girl?

Anna, it's that way?

I'm gonna go with Maria, all right?

And we'll keep it Mexican.

- Don't hold back on account of me.

- I don't fuck whores.

I'm not interested in lying.


you move again,

and I gonna blow your stomach all over that wall.


- Take me with you!

(coyote howling)

(upbeat hip-hop music)

25 years, murder, I wasn't supposed to get none of this!

(moaning) (breathing heavily)

Ron Jeremy aint got shit on me!

(screaming) (moaning loudly)

They didn't have none of this in C block.

- Mm, you taste good.

(ominous music)

(demonic howling)



- What the--

Oh, shit!





(demonically growling)


- Get off!

(shotgun blasts)

- Fuck!

Fuck that.

(shotgun blasts) (groans)


(growls demonically)


(shotgun blasting)


(glass shatters)

- Can't kill us all.

(gunshot blasts)

(chuckles) The first one's always free.

Now, the second one's gonna cost you.

(shotgun blasts)

- Keep the change.

(demonically growling)


(glass shattering)

- Fuck!

(shotgun blasting)

- Over here, come on!

Just hurry, come on!

(gunshots blasting)

- Take the gun!



- Motherfucker gave me an empty gun.

(yells in pain)

- Fucking hooker.



Fucking should've went with the little-tittie white girl.

(spooky music)

(door bangs)

- Come on!

Hurry! (panting)

Follow me, come on.

(whimpering) - Everybody get down.

What the hell was that, man?

I've ain't never seen no show like that before, ese.

- Shh, quiet!


- Tell me everything you fucking know.

- Maybe she don't know nothing.

- You shut the fuck up.

She knows.


- Fuck, I wish I was back in jail.

- Hey, that's Wallet.

That's Wally outside, look.

Come here, check it out.

(bell rings)

- Santos? - What's up?

- [Rock] Go out there and get him.

- (chuckles) Fuck that!

You go there and get his ass, man!

Get on that good shit.

Fuck you, dog.

You go out there and get eaten by some fucking goblin.


(horse whinnies)


- Oh my God. - Oh shit!

What the fuck was that shit?

- What the fuck is this?

- [Rock] We gotta find that gold.


We need to get the gold and get the fuck out of this town.

- What are you, crazy? They're trying to eat us alive!

Fuck the gold!

- Really, Travis? Hmm?

You and me, Travis,

are gonna go get the gold together, understand?

- He killed the others!

He kept me alive.

Wanted me to help him find the other medallions.

He promised me he wouldn't hurt me.



- What the fuck is this shit, huh?

What the fuck is that, man?

What fuck is that?

Let's go! (whimpering)

- Shit!

- No!

No, no, no.!

(spooky music)

(gunshots blasting) (screaming)

- Keep fucking moving!



- What the fuck, man!

It's all fucking dust, man!

- Oh my God. - What?

Hey, that's all us in that picture, man!

- Nothing, it's only an illusion.

- [Santos] What the fuck you mean an illusion, man?

I don't know where you come from, dog,

but where I'm from, man,

I ain't never seen no dead people walking, talkin' shit,

and get up and chase us.

- There's gotta be something inside one of these buildings.

- Well, that's good.

Why don't we find it and get the fuck on out of here, man?

You better shut the fuck up, ese.

Ever since you took us here, man,

you've been fucking shit up, dog.

Hey, where we going, huh?

I mean, we walk in here, we walk in there,

we don't even know-- - Santos!

You and the Lone Ranger go check out upstairs.

- Man, I don't even care no more, dog.

I want to get this shit over with, dog.

Let's go get this shit and get the fuck...

(laughs) Fuck all that, man.

- We're here for the gold, remember?

- I'll go with him.

- Fucking put your hands on me again, dog.

- You know what?

This way.

- You guys are all trippin'.

If you didn't have that gun, homie...

- Yeah? What?

- You wouldn't be so fucking brave, ese.

- Okay, you think so? - I know so.

- Hear that?

(spooky music)

- I'm gonna check our right here, dog, and see what's up.

This shit's empty, dog.

Ain't nothing in there, man.

Come on, homie, let's be for real, man.

It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

There ain't a shit out here, let's roll.

- Yeah, a golden needle.

- Pretty weird town, huh?

Pretty weird town.

- You don't know the half of it.


- I shot myself in the foot.

Say hello to my little friend.

What do you make of this?

That's not all I found.

(roaring) (growling)

- What's your hurry?


Did you get yourself lost?

See ya in hell, you son of a bitch.

(dings) (gunshot blasts)

- [Lacy] Aw, shit! Fuck!

- Over here, come on.

(suspenseful music)

(footsteps tapping)

(door creaks)

(door bangs)

- No shit, this town is fucking haunted.

- Come on, let's go.

(door clatters)

- This shit's locked man.


- How about now?

- Nah, we good now.

Let's go.

Hey, wait, wait, wait.

Rock, come check this out, dog.

- [Rock] What?

- What's that?

- ck] Looks like a map.

- The fuck all this shit say here on the bottom, man?

- Come on, let's go.


- Don't run.


We got all night.

(heavy rock music)


- This is crazy.

It goes on forever.

- If we get out of here, what's gonna happen.

- You can trust me.

- So I say to you,

I say seek not the plunder

that's buried under the weakened earth.

No, no, no, I say to you, seek treasures in heaven.

- How do you get out of this town?

- Come with me.

- Oh, we got light.

Oh, nice!

(door creaks) (ominous music)

- Heard you was leaving.

- Now, that ain't polite.

- I brought them just like you asked.

- Where is the medallion?

- What?

- The gold coin? - They've got it.

- The seven must be together again as one, Amen.

- You don't understand. - I know they've got it.

- We never had it!

- Why do you lie to me, child?

- I brought them just like you asked!

- You stupid bitch.

- But you leave me, bitch!

- They took it!

I know they did.

- We don't want any trouble.

We just want to leave town.

- That's what they always say, every time,

right before they die.

- Just tell them where you put it.

- I told you, we don't have it!

(sword scraping)

- Seven coins,

seven priests, one medallion one priest,

that's the way it's always been,

and the way it's always will be.

This here gold was forged in the very fires of hell.

(door creaking)

(door thuds)

If you hold the seven

together as one,

then you hold in your hand the mystery

and the power of the treasure in all its glory.

Oh, girl!

You should have told me where the medallion was.




- Run!


(gunshot blasts)

- Come on, Lacy!

Come on, let's go!

Get up! Come on!

(sword scrapes)


My leg. (grunting)

Where we going?

- Oh yes, my sweet,

lost soul's confession.

Our city's clean.

- [Santos] I can't go on, man.

I'm good, I'm good right here.


(breathing heavily)

- [Travis] Hey Rock, where the fuck we are going, man?

- [Santos] That's it, man.

I'm good, I'm good right here.

- That's right.

Now even your children's children shall have need

of the Lord's blessing.

- I gotta fucking rest, man.

Whole lot faster.

I can't fucking go on, man.

Oh, shit!

- Hey listen, you need to give 'em back that medallion.

- Look, you need to shut the fuck up and tend to him, now!

- Hey Rock!

We're going around in circles, man.

You got a plan?

- I got a map.

- He's got a map.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Come on.

- Fuck!

- Come on, let's go.

Oh, man.


(laughing maniacally)

(ominous music)

(gunshot blasts)

(church bell rings)

- [Lacy] What is it?

- It's a diary.

Jesuit priests would record their dead

before they buried them under the church.

- Like a crypt? - Exactly.

- Turn this.


(grunts) It's locked.


(otherworldly music)

Give me the flashlight.

(breathing heavily)


- Come on!

We gotta get the gold, man.

(yells in pain) Okay.

I can't go on, man.

- Bullshit, move! - Come on, come on!

- [Travis] We'll fuckin' leave your ass, now move it!

(eerie music)

- Shit!

My fucking legs are killing me, man.

You think we should open this shit?

Come on.

The gold might be inside here or something,

you know what I mean?

(hinge creaking)


- [Lacy] Oh Jesus!

- Looks like a fucking monster.

Hey, do you think he's lasted?

Let's pick his ass up.

- I gotta rest, man. - Sit down, man.


(wood creaking) (grunting)

(cracks) (ghostly music)

- Oh shit!

The fucking gold, man!

The fucking gold, man!

I'm rich.

What's up?

What's up with...

What, you guys don't want none of this?


I'm rich.

We hit the jackpot, man.

We're rich!


Rich, dog!




- Oh my God.

- Come on!

Let's get out of here, Lacy!

(growling) (screaming)


(gunshot blasts)





- Just hurry!



(crashing) (screams)




- Come on, let's get out of here!

(sword scrapes) (demonic howling)

(breathing heavily) (suspenseful music)

(winds blowing)


(blade scrapes)

(footsteps tapping)

- The very abyss in hell trembles at your coming.

Even the dead stir in joyous anticipation,

for you are wicked,

and the wicked must be truly rewarded.

So I give to you the great gift

of all eternity in this sweet place of purgatory.

(horse whinnies)

The infidels land is filled with idols,

yet it's written,

"You shall cast out your idols

"for they are sinful things of silver and gold,

(sword scrapes) "made by your own hand."

(horse whinnies)

(motor revs)

(doors slam)

(heavy rock music)

(horse whinnies)

(horse whinnies)

(horse whinnies)

(sun whooshes)

(ghostly howling) (horse whinnies)

(men grunting)

(horse galloping)

(blade scrapes)

- No! (splattering)

(horse whinnies)

(maniacally laughing)

(heavy rock music)