Seriously Single (2020) - full transcript

♪ You make me angry ♪

♪ I don't want you
To make me smile again ♪

♪ I don't want to see you
This pain won't heal ♪

♪ Girl, I said I'd leave ♪

- ♪ You make me angry ♪
- ♪ Girl, I said I'd leave ♪

♪ I don't want you
To make me smile again ♪

♪ Our love is getting destroyed ♪

♪ I don't want to see you
This pain won't heal ♪

♪ But you're like that
Don't destroy it... ♪

Oh, my God. Okay, sorry!

Sorry! Shit.



Yes. Okay, okay, okay.

♪ You kick up dust
You kick up dust ♪

♪ A car doesn't start like that
It doesn't start like that when it moves ♪

♪ Pack my bags and hit the road
And pack my bags and hit the road ♪

♪ And pack my bags and hit the road ♪

♪ Do you hear me, baby?
You're gonna make me angry ♪

Ma'am.

Uh...

Delivery...

Yes?

For...

Dineo Mudau.

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!

Sheesh! Why is everybody so anti-love?



I've been married for 12 years already.

Dineo, my friend. Home girl.

Nick, Nick.
Didn't you say HR gave you a warning

regarding cultural appropriation
in the workplace?

- HR? I am the...
- "Who's the boss?"

- That doesn't make sense.
- Listen.

Are you ready to wow DJ Fresh
with a social media plan

for his Fresh Protein shake?

Yay!

- What a shitty name.
- So shitty.

- That's...
- Sorry.

Sorry, sorry. Dineo Mudau.

- Yes. Yes, that's me.
- Oh!

Oi. All right.

It's from Simphiwe, you guys.

- My boyfriend.
- What happened to Themba?

He ghosted her three months ago.

- You know I can hear you, Pam?
- Yep.

You know what? Do me a favor...

and livestream this.

Okay.

Go.

- So...
- Sorry.

- Hang on.
- Okay.

It's the... okay.

- So, you guys...
- Whoa!

- Oh, Pam, come on.
- Sorry. It's...

- Pam.
- Go!

You guys, my boyfriend just surprised me
at work for Valentine's Day!

I mean,
talk about hashtag, love lives here.

Right? Let's see.

Toiletry bag?

I never gave my girlfriend a toiletry bag.

Oh! He's surprising me with a getaway,
a weekend thing or something!

That's amazing! That's amazing!

Sorry, my sister.

- Sister.
- Yeah, what?

I think it's longer than a weekend.

Gents!

Home girl...

Did you just get dumped
on Valentine's Day?

Uh, turn that off, Pam.

- You're getting loads of comments.
- Turn it off.

Turn it off, Pam, now!

I can't believe I suffered lockjaw
for two days for this shit!

How...

Pam?

- Hmm?
- Don't tell me you're still recording.

No.

Pam! Shit!

Hey, do you work
for Lumka and Johnson Accounting?

- No.
- Good.

Then we have clearance from HR.

I think we should go back
to your place. Yeah?

Give me a second.

Eish!

And then?

Didi?

Didi?

Didi?

- Friend, I think I ate something bad.
- I've heard you take a shit.

- That's not what you sound like.
- You don't know everything.

So you're not
on Simphiwe's profile?

- No.
- Babe,

- give me your phone.
- No!

I didn't bring you to an office party
to spend the whole night in the toilet.

I didn't want to come
to this stupid party anyway.

Friend, you're so ungrateful.

- Don't you wanna get laid?
- I want love. Okay?

Maybe a little lay.

You won't get any of that
from a toilet seat,

so get your ass out here so we can
get you on your back and get you laid.

Laid.

I think your hands
are clean now, Mam' Thandi.

Friend, it's been three weeks.
You need to get over it.

I can't. Noni, I can't, okay?

He was the love of my life, you know?
And we were gonna get married.

You were together for two months.

It was two and a half months
and you know it.

- Give me your phone.
- No.

- What? You think I won't go in there?
- Hey!

Hey! Leave me!

Didi, you forget I'm older than you!
Learn to respect your elders!

Didi...

Noni, you know what? No...

- No, we're too old for this.
- Yes.

I agree.

If this is spiked,
my ancestors are gonna come after you.

I don't need to do that to get a girl.

Ugh! You men.
You men don't get how hard we love.

- What do you mean?
- Yes.

- We love hard.
- Oh...

- We love hard when it's the right girl.
- Right!

Right, I was the right girl.

I was, and then he just dumped me anyway.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. You're not supposed to talk
about your old man with your new man.

- With whose man?
- No. Not that you...

Not that you're the new man.
I just meant, like... I...

Okay, my best friend Noni,

she's been telling me to get back
on my bounce-back game.

- Okay.
- And I guess you're bounceable.

- Wow. Okay.
- No, no, no, no, no.

Not sex bounce, rebound bounce.
Although that didn't sound...

- I'm sorry.
- You asking me to have sex with you?

'Cause I will.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Here you go.

- Here you go. Are you okay?
- Yeah.

Yeah. Why would you say that?

- Why wouldn't I?
- Steve Harvey says,

"If you wanna keep a guy, you shouldn't
sleep with him on the first night."

Oh...

Okay, tell me,
how's that working out for you so far?

Mmm.

So...

I mean, what are you trying to say?

Do you stick around
long after you've slept with a girl?

I mean, it's not about the sex.

You know, sometimes relationships
aren't meant to last.

So we should enjoy them while we can.

Hmm.

Right?

Mmm-hmm.

You have little bit of, uh... okay.

- Got it?
- Yeah, got it.

It was great meeting you.

Friend. Ah! I can already see you
naming your babies.

- I'm not naming anything.
- Mmm.

But Lunga Junior sounds cute.
His friends will call him LJ, Noni.

The only LJ you should be thinking about's
the one in his pants.

Yeah, that's your style, not mine.

Fine. In that case, let's go home.

I think I've made out with everyone
I can make out with here. Wait.

- Yeah, I'm done here.
- Noni...

is he your client?
Does he have a girlfriend?

No, actually, what's his tax bracket?

Yes, I don't know,
and none of your business. Let's go.

No, you go. Bye.

Okay.
Well, you better BJ that LJ. You know...

What are you looking at?

Whatever. Leave me alone.

What? Wait, wait, wait.
No, wait. Where are you taking me?

- You're gonna love it, trust me.
- I'm gonna love it.

- Be careful.
- Okay.

Oh, wow.

What?

Wow.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

You know what? Just, let me...

- All right.
- Hold that.

Okay. Just...

Proof...

that I'm having a good time.

Whoa, no, no, no.
You don't have to prove anything to him.

- Really?
- Mystery is more effective.

Right. Clearly you've never had
your heart broken.

- I mean, I've had bad breakups.
- That's a no.

And what?

What, you can just... move on?

Why hold on to the past when your future
could be standing right in front of you?

That's what you want, don't you?

You know...

I... I don't sleep with just anyone.

I want someone to come home to.

Is that Steve Harvey again?

You say you want someone to come home to?

I say it's better to have someone
to go home with.

What?

Just...

Mom said
you're stuffing your mouth with food.

God.

Ow!

Noni, this is not a good time.

Where the hell are you?

Wait.

You have been placed
on hold. Please wait.

What?

Where the hell are you?

You told me to sleep with him.

- So I slept with him.
- You shouldn't still be there!

No one should be in anyone's bed
at this time!

Wait. Why are you yelling?

Just come home, okay?

Hi, handsome.

No, Dineo.

Hey. How did you... No.

Morning!

You got this.

Hey! Hey.

You're such a typical bachelor.
Nothing in your fridge. But lucky for you,

- I know a very great, nice...
- Oh, shit!

What?

I have a flight boarding in an hour.

- Well, can't you change your flight?
- I can't. I have a...

a work thing.

Oh!

Well...

What is this?
What? Are you kicking me out?

Uh, no, no, no. You...
No, I'm sorry. You stay.

Just, uh... leave the keys with security.

Okay, when will you be back?

Uh, tomorrow night.

Wait, will I...
will I see you again? Lunga?

I really wish we had more time.

Okay, go.

Go, you're gonna miss your flight.

Bye!

Pictures of him sleeping
is an eight on the stalker scale.

It's not stalking
if we've had sex.

You know, it was supposed to be
a one-night stand like mine.

But with less piercings.

We need to stop doing that, by the way.
You really... Aren't you, like, 45 now?

Piss off.

- Okay, sorry, 50.
- Hey.

I'm a chartered accountant
living her best life

and I don't need anyone to fund it.

Bitch, I'm killing 35.

I don't know.
That doesn't keep you warm at night.

Oh, there's a whole world of men for that,
and some women, too.

There's only one man I want.

You don't even have his phone number.

I have these.

This one's getting
a restraining order against you.

I'll have to sleep
with the Minister of Police for you.

- Oh, just for me?
- Yeah.

- Not because you want to?
- No, he's cute, but hashtag, contre-jour.

Friend!

- Shit, this is good.
- It's good?

- Easy now.
- It's not...

Oh, friend.

Do you choke on your guys
the way you choke on smoke?

Hey! Who's in there?

I have a lethal weapon
that I'm not afraid to use.

It's me!

- It's me.
- Shit!

What... what are you doing here?

I thought you'd be hungry
after your flight, so I cooked you dinner.

I didn't say you could move in.

I... I didn't move in.

Okay.

- Dineo.
- Hmm?

This?

This was a one-time thing.

I don't under... I don't understand.

I thought you said
that you wished we had more time.

And I told you that
I don't sleep with just anybody, so...

Every girl says that.

Wow.

So now I'm a squatter and I'm a ho.

No, I'm not... That's not what I mean.
All I'm saying is...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

This is a full chicken, woman.

It's not the food's fault.
I was just saying...

Are these takeaway boxes?
I thought you said you cooked.

Take... pfft!

So... Okay, so I was
a squatter, a ho, and now I can't cook.

- You are just on a roll.
- I didn't say any of that.

Listen, listen, listen...

I didn't say any of that.
I'm just saying...

Okay, okay.

Dineo, I'm just saying, if you came home,
okay, and found some guy in your flat,

- how would you feel?
- Lucky.

That I have pepper spray in my bag.

- Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Right?

I get it.

I'll go, and you can... eat.

And this thong was bugging me anyway.

Wait, wait, wait.
No, let's not... Wait, don't go.

I mean... You know, I just...

Uh, I mean, you've made all this effort.

We shouldn't, you know...

We shouldn't let all this
go to waste. Right?

- Right.
- Yeah, and, I mean, if...

if that thong is annoying you,
I can do something about that.

Yeah.

- You know what? We should actually stop.
- Sorry.

- Sorry.
- We... yeah.

We should definitely...

We should stop.

I mean, we could stop tomorrow.

Yep. Tomorrow, yeah...
I was actually gonna say tomorrow.

- 'Cause tomorrow... Yeah.
- Tomorrow...

- That's it. Tomorrow.
- Tomorrow works.

- Tomorrow. Okay, good.
- I...

♪ Just hold me, hold me ♪

♪ Just pat me, pat me ♪

♪ Just kiss me ♪

♪ Just hold me, hold me ♪

♪ Just pat me, pat me ♪

♪ Just kiss me ♪

This week, I have to bring my A game.

I'm thinking cupcakes or muffins or cake.
What do you think?

Why wouldn't they use vanilla icing?

I've never heard
of gluten-free icing. What?

And there you go.

Oh, it's like that.

Mmm-hmm.

Oh, no,
I'm not gonna order any food. Thanks.

- Seriously?
- What?

We had sex a month ago and you're still
treating me like the help. What's up?

Oh, don't you work here?

Actually, the more you talk,

the less I want to have sexual intercourse
with you again.

Really?

Well, I mean,
if you put it like that, I...

Put your boobs away.
You're torturing Maxie.

No, I'm okay.

Don't you have a bar
to tend or toilets to scrub or whatever?

Listen, I'm the manager here.

Okay?

And FYI... I only do the toilets
on Mondays.

He could get us free drinks.

Listen, I'm not wasting time
talking about men.

- I never ever get to see you.
- You've seen me.

Once. When you came to the house
to pick up your things.

- You're not even on social media anymore.
- Lunga's a private person.

Uh-uh, no one's that private anymore.

I thought you didn't wanna
talk about men. What's this?

- I'm here for you.
- Because your boyfriend made better plans.

He has a work thing.

- See, that's another weird thing.
- What?

Who has a work thing
on a Saturday night after 8:00?

His boss is hectic,
that's why he works on weekends,

Nondumiso, if you must know.

Any man who's using work as an excuse
is working more than just spreadsheets.

Lunga is different, okay?

- Mmm-hmm.
- Mmm-hmm.

And how many of his friends
have you met, his colleagues?

I've met, like...

Like, one person from his workplace.
He's not lying.

I'll prove it to you.

- I'm joking, man. I'm playing.
- No.

He's not answering?

- That doesn't mean anything.
- Okay.

- Yo!
- Hi, Phathu!

Yes, it's Dineo.

- Dineo?
- Yeah. I just wanted to find out...

Phathu? Hel...

He just hung up on me.

Then let's just order drinks
and go dancing.

Max! Can you manage us
some shots there, brother?

- Phathu just checked in online.
- Where?

A hotel?

His meeting is in a hotel?

Which room is Lunga Sibiya in?

Uh, excuse my friend. He's not in a room,
he's in a meeting.

- In a hotel?
- Noni.

Are you two here for...

What's...

And does... have anything
to do with his meeting?

Mmm-hmm.

Okay! Okay, yes,
then we are here for...

Mmm-hmm.

Room Pollux.

What?

- Pollux?
- Pollux? Let's go, come on.

Pollux.

Okay. Thanks.

Weirdo.

Wait. Are you sure about this?

I...

All I'm saying is that her neck
tastes like batteries, man.

Gents, we've got the premium stock!

Come in. Come in.

Come in.

But why so many clothes?
Come on. Come on, girls.

And somebody better find that hamster!

That's my daughter's hamster.
We need it for school, Monday.

If you ever wanna wank again,
keep your hands to yourself.

I like you. Hey.

I think we're in the wrong room.

- Oh, no!
- Yes.

Gonna get your chance with the groom.
He's just in the bathroom with someone.

Yeah, actually,
we don't care about the groom.

We actually don't care...

Yes!

My man!

- What?
- I think Lunga is the groom.

Noni thinks you're cheating on me.
I need you to tell her you're not.

No, just tell her. Just tell her
that you're not cheating on me.

- Can we...
- Tell her you're not.

- Can we...
- Tell her you're not!

Okay, um... I... I'm not cheating on you.

See?
Told you he's not cheating on me.

I'm getting married.

Huh?

Okay.

Dineo?

And then, you?

- What are you doing?
- Reparations.

Call me.

Oh.

Um, hi. So, Mr. DJ Fresh's team
called about the campaign again.

- Shit!
- Yeah, my thoughts exactly.

So I think we're gonna try
and reschedule the presentation to,

I don't know, the first week of June.

Pam, I need your FB logins.

Did you hear anything I said?

You say a lot, but what you're
not telling me is your FB login, so...

I'm not on social media.

You work at a whole social media agency.
How do you not have social media?

'Cause my therapist thinks
it's bad for my self-esteem.

Fuck it!

Is everything okay?

I'm in.

I'm in, I'm in, I'm in!
Great. That's good. That's great.

Not so great.

Hey.

Dineo Mudau, ooh!

How are you?

You know, right?

Gents?

Another holiday.

Let's go.
This chick likes holidays.

You know,
maybe you should see my therapist.

Okay. Okay.

What the...

What the...

Walk away. Walk away.

No, no, no.

Hi! You must be Gugu.

You know, the chocolate fondant here
is to die for. You should try it.

- Five-star rating. Amazing.
- Okay, just...

- Give me a second, okay? Dineo.
- What?

- Really?
- What? Come on. What?

What are you doing?

Really? So we're back to the stalking?

Wait. Did I make this all up in my head?

Are we not in love?

No. No, we were just
two people having fun.

Okay, so why didn't you say that? Why
didn't you just tell me the truth, hmm?

- Lunga.
- Hey.

What's going on here?

No, nothing. Baby... Um...

Did you meet? This, um...

- My...
- Don't worry about it.

I'm just his maid.

- I thought you were done with that.
- I am.

Baby, I'm done. I promise you,
I'm done with all that.

I... I'm done.

Okay? You're here with me now,

and I don't need anyone else
but you. Okay?

Come here.

Let's go!

Do you know
what you're gonna say this time?

- I know what I'm gonna say.
- Okay.

- Exactly. I've got this under control.
- Okay.

- Hi!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hold it. You're late.

Okay, uh...

You're late, you see?

The bride said that
I mustn't let anyone in after her.

So, bye-bye.

No, no!

- Okay, listen...
- Ah! No!

Okay, okay.

How about that?

Hundred rand?

How about that?

- Two hundred?
- Two hundred.

Yes! Okay, so we're good.

Okay, no, no.

Bye-bye.

- Let's just...
- I'm the officer of the law.

Do you think
that this is the Durban July?

You and your floral jumpsuit. No, man.

This is a sign.
You shouldn't do this.

Oh, no. I'm not giving up.

Didi.

Nondumiso... I think it's time to go back
to our waitressing days.

Didi... Didi!

Oh!

- Keep it together.
- It's heavy.

Well, this was your idea.

These are the hands
of a social media manager, not a waiter.

And the mind of a psycho bitch.

Amen, congregation.

Amen.

Lunga Sibiya,
do you take Gugu Diomo...

to be your lawful wedded wife?

- Wait, wait, wait!
- To have and to hold...

What are you gonna say?
Are you just gonna say,

- "Hi, Gugu, your man's a dog. He's..."
- For richer or for poorer.

Even when there's no money, hmm?

To love and to honor
till death do you part?

No, wait.

Oh, goodness. Not again, Lord.

Shit. Is he...

I know we weren't gonna do vows,
but I need to say something.

We've been through a lot together.

Two months ago, this wedding
wasn't even gonna happen anymore.

But here we are.

And, Gugu, I am so happy...

that I finally have someone
to come home to.

Forever.

Yeah!

Even me. I quit!

- And then?
- We're going, man.

Didi!

Maxie. Another one, please.

She needs it, okay? I'll handle her.

Well...

Friend! Am I not pretty enough?

- I'm pretty, right?
- Yeah.

I'm pretty. Or maybe I need to be yellow.

I need to be yellow and have a bum.
And make my ass clap.

Because I can make my ass clap.

Oh, I can twerk. Look. Look, friend.

♪ Twerking by the bar
Twerking by the bar ♪

Literally nothing is moving, okay?

- Just sit, friend.
- Really?

Sit.

- You know what, wena?
- Hmm?

You have been a couple
since I've known you in varsity.

You need to be alone and have some fun.

- Right?
- Yes.

- You're right, you know?
- Yes, my friend.

- To being done with men!
- Yes!

Jeez.

I'm done with you.

- And you. And you.
- Mmm-hmm.

You're kinda cute. Hey!

- Hey.
- That literally lasted, like, two seconds.

No, no, no!

I'm done with relationships.
I'm just like you.

- Good.
- I'm gonna go pee.

- Okay.
- Okay?

- Okay.
- Okay.

Okay.

I'm okay!

I'm okay.

I'm okay.

- Hi.
- Uh-oh.

What was your name again?

- Muneer.
- Muneer.

The bathrooms are this way.

Yes. But, friend,
his name is Muneer.

- Don't mess with him.
- His girlfriend will kill you.

I'm coming, Muneer!

Watch it...

I'm sorry. Give me a second.
I'm gonna get the light.

Give me a second. Okay.

- Lights.
- There we go. Sorry, sorry.

- Sorry.
- What song is that?

I have no clue.

- Okay.
- I'm fine.

Why are you making like I'm drunk?

- No, you're not drunk.
- Not at all.

- Not at all.
- This is not the club.

It is. The VIP room is there,
first door on your left.

Yeah.

- VIP.
- Yes, friend.

- Are you coming?
- Yes.

- Are you coming?
- Yes.

- We're all coming. Yeah.
- We're all gonna be there.

Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

Mmm.

- Where's my... Oh!
- Yum.

- Thank you.
- That's nice.

Bye!

- It's a quiet club.
- It's VIP!

- Shh, it's a quiet club.
- Oh, quiet.

- Secret club. Shh.
- Secret club.

Secret club.

- Your friend is a lot.
- Yeah.

- Thanks for your help.
- You know I accept sex as payment, right?

You really need to get over this.

Okay, listen. Look,
I'm not a hit it and run type of guy.

Besides, you're always at the bar,
so maybe we could be friends, at least?

Ah, you can't be friends
with someone you've had sex with.

What makes you so sure about that?

Mmm, yes. I like where this is going.

- Experience.
- Okay, wait. No.

Experience? What experience?

I wanna talk to the men.

You men.

♪ Men, men, men ♪

We give you everything.

Everything.
We turn our lives upside down...

mmm-hmm...

inside out, and then...

But why you don't love us, huh?

Why you don't love Dineo?

You don't love us actually.

It doesn't make sense. Why?

Why, why, why you don't love us?

Shit.

I don't know what to do.

Mmm.

And then I'm alone.

Wake up, wake up, wake up!

But it's too early for that.

- Wake up.
- Stop! It's too early.

Hey, woman.

- It is 5:00 in the afternoon.
- 5:00 in the what?

Yep.

I don't remember sleeping
until 5:00 in the afternoon.

Mmm, making a man the center
of the universe is very exhausting.

But we're gonna take care
of all of that tonight.

Oh, no, no, no. It's Sunday.

Exactly! For God loved the world so much,

He gave us a chance
to be hungover at work on Monday.

No!

No!

Friend, it's gonna take
a lot of make-up to fix that

hangover face.

And by the way, that video
you posted, it's getting a lot of likes.

They're calling you
"hashtag, Desperate Bae."

What video?

"Why do guys hate us so much?"

- Shit.
- "Why?"

- "Why?"
- Go away!

Shit.

Oh, shit.

Noni.

- Oh, yeah!
- What's going...

- No, no, no.
- Yeah!

- No, friend.
- Yes, friend.

For me? Both for me?
Are you trying to kill me?

- Yes, queen!
- Yes!

- Yes, queen!
- Yeah, here you go.

Oh, baby.

♪ Please call future baby ♪

♪ Future maybe ♪

♪ Future wife ♪

You.

♪ Please call future baby ♪

♪ Yebo, yebo, yebo, yebo, yebo ♪

♪ Yebo ♪

She's freshening up
on her guy-jumping. Ayoyo. Fresh.

Whoo!

Yeah!

It's three simple rules. One, do not
give out your real phone number.

Two, do not talk about exes.

Three, don't have sex with a guy
more than once,

- otherwise it counts as a relationship.
- Wait.

- What if the sex is good?
- There's always someone better.

Okay.

Hey, can we get a...

Hey. I know you from somewhere.

No, sorry. Not interested.

Uh-uh.

Hey! So you guys wanna hang out, right?

Okay. Well, we just want free drinks.
So, I'm sure you guys have, like, uh...

wives, girlfriends, boy toys maybe.

So, how about we just
have a good time together,

and no one expects anything
of anyone, okay?

Okay. Okay, bartender, shots!

No. No shots for me. Thank you.

- Come on.
- Yes.

I didn't recognize you with the wig on.

You're Desperate Bae.

Uh, bartender! Bartender,
all the shots this way.

Thank you. Keep 'em coming.

No, divide. You must... No.

Now we're just watching you guys.

- Baby, I want to go home.
- No, keep dancing.

I've found myself a boyfriend.

I don't remember the last
time I partied until the sun came up.

It's beautiful.

Mmm, perfect time to see lions.

Are you still high?

Sunrise.
Reminds me of game drives.

It's the perfect time
to spot wild animals.

I've never been.

On a game drive? Who are you?

- I'm not gonna go by myself.
- You don't need a guy for that.

Okay. So, wait. You want me...

to check myself into a hotel by myself,
and wander around the bushes by myself?

You're single now.

Girl, you can do
whatever the hell you wanna do.

- I'm single now.
- Yes.

- I'm single now.
- Yes!

I am single, you hear that?

I am single!

Whoo!

- Yeah!
- Hey! Shut up!

You shut up!

I've got kids sleeping, man!

- Oh, oh, so do I! So do I!
- No, no, no.

No, man.

They're just waiting
for someone to fertilize them!

- Didi, shh.
- Shit.

Stop making noise, crazy lady from 202.

- Whoo!
- Yeah!

Oh, nasty!

This is not really my scene.

Cheers.

I'm going through a breakup.

And my friend, my best friend Noni,
she's trying to get me into casual sex.

You know, I don't think I'm ready
for casual sex, because sex with Lunga...

Sex with Lunga was just so...

It was so good.

Like, it was... Like, it would...
Like, if he did...

And then like, I... I would feel...

Can I give you a hand with that?

I've managed to do it alone
all my life. I'm good, thanks.

You girls have been partying hard.

Mmm-hmm.

- Was there a point to you coming here?
- Yeah, um...

Here we go.

Karaoke's really not my thing.

Oh, so it's just not me.
You just hate having fun.

- Why are you still talking to me?
- Well, I mean, you're funny.

You don't give a shit
what anyone thinks of you.

You tip more than 10%,
and even though you act tough, you...

you're kind.

You get 15 minutes
out of this karaoke night.

Use them wisely.

Shut up.

Yes!

Oh, God.

- You shouldn't come to work drunk.
- Nobody asked you, Pam.

And the boss is not happy
with all your social media posts.

All this excessive partying
reflects badly on the company.

Thanks,
but I'll take that under advisement,

- Okay?
- So, yeah, this is my kingdom,

as far as the eye can see.
I'm like the white Mufasa.

- Here she is, my social media slay queen.
- Dineo...

No, no, no. Not today, Nick.

- Not today.
- Big doggy, meet Dineo.

She's gonna take Fresh Protein
to new heights.

Are you okay?

Mmm.

My shoes!

This is exactly what I meant by
"assholery."

- What did you eat?
- Pam.

Get a mop and something
to wipe Dineo's breakfast.

And tell her I wanna see her
in my office now!

Well, after she's finished. Okay?

What is this?

Dineo?

Hey, uh...

Hey! You forgot your keys.

Ah.

Shit.

Friend! Why are you here? What's going on?

- Why?
- I...

I got a warning
for throwing up on DJ Fresh.

Why...

- Are you still his accountant?
- It's a work thing.

Yeah, I should, uh...

I should go.

Excuse me.

Oh, wait.

- What happened with Fresh?
- Friend...

Wait.

Wait, wait!

Great.

Back to square one, Dineo.

♪ Let us have a good time ♪

♪ A good time
Having a good time ♪

♪ Get up off your feet ♪

♪ Having a good time
A good time... ♪

So, this is karaoke night?

Okay. You know what? Let's just order in
and stalk all our friends from varsity.

- Let's go.
- No, no, no. No.

I'm... having sex tonight.

- But your battery's dead.
- With a person, Noni.

I'm so proud of you.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Can I bum one?

It's my last one.

Right. I don't know why I asked you that.
I don't even smoke, but... just... bye.

Wait, wait.

I think we need to start that again.

I'm Timothy.

Okay.

I'm Dineo.

♪ I love you so much, baby ♪

♪ I love you ♪

- Get off the stage!
- Or else kill yourself!

♪ I love you so much, baby ♪

♪ I... ♪

- Whoa!
- Hey, hey.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- Tell me you didn't just clean the toilet.
- No. No, I didn't.

Someone threw up here.

Okay. Excuse me
while I shower for a week.

No, wait. You promised me 15 minutes.

I've already been here for ten.

Well, I can do a lot in five.

Yeah. It's on.

- What?
- Yep.

Phindi!

Excuse me. May we pass?

Uh-uh, I don't do the stage.

What do you mean?
You need to back me up.

I'll back you up from here.

- Really?
- Really.

- Backup, okay?
- Okay.

Okay. Yo. Hey! Yes! Thank you.
Thank you so much.

Okay.

Okay, that was depressing.

Yeah.

Yes.

Whoo!

It was crazy seeing him
again today. It was like we're strangers.

- Although, we're not really strangers.
- You've got...

To let it go. I know.

I have to let it go.
Who wants to be lied to?

- Not me.
- No, no, you've got...

A problem.

- I have a problem, Tim.
- No, no...

- I have a problem.
- You've got...

What the... what the hell?

- What the hell?
- No, what the hell with you, pervert?

You've got
guacamole on your chest!

What? What? What?

You've got guacamole on your chest.

Bitch.

Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry.
Okay, look, I'm so sorry...

No!

Fuck.

- Noni! Let's go.
- Wait...

Wait.

- Come on. Hurry.
- What's going on?

- No wonder he dumped you.
- He must be sick of you.

He didn't dump me, wena.
He married someone else. Big difference.

Shame. You're gonna die alone.

- Let's go.
- Your mother will die alone!

Bitch!

Your mother is a bitch.

No, let's go, Noni.

Hey, good morning.

I've been thinking, friend.

"Good morning, Noni.
You look gorgeous today." Thank you.

I think I'm done
with this dating random guys thing.

Every guy was random
until you started dating them.

That was different.
I knew they were the right man.

Hmm, until they started ghosting you.
Or cheating on you.

Or saying they're not ready
for a relationship...

Okay, I get it. I get it.

Noni, the point is I tried your way
and I failed.

So... So now I've downloaded
an online dating app.

- Friend, you hate those.
- Just be happy for me, Noni.

I'm trying, right?
I'm putting myself out there.

I think this is the only way
I'm actually gonna get over Lunga.

Okay. Hey, but easy
on that left hook, Mayweather.

You know what? Come, come,
help me set up my profile.

I'd rather dig my eyes out.

What was happening
between you and Max last night?

Nothing. There's no me and Max anything.

What do you mean, "nothing"?
What do you...

Take a picture
that accentuates your cheekbones.

Huh?

For your online dating profile.
You should take a picture from that angle.

Oh! Oh.

- Okay.
- And just...

- Take it on an angle.
- Yeah.

- Okay, come help me.
- Uh-uh.

Late for work.

The editors will be done
with the mock-ups by the end of week.

Now, that's the woman
I know and love.

Look, Nick,
I know I've been distracted lately, but...

But?

Uh, but I'm committed.

I am committed
to making this campaign work.

And we'll be launching
on all social media platforms

as soon as DJ Fresh gives us the go-ahead.

Yes!

You have secured the bag on this one.

You are booked and busy.
My slay queen, my slayer.

Slay me!

- Dineo.
- I'm sorry.

I mean, I'm just excited.
I'm excited about this campaign.

It's Fresh... This is DJ Fresh.
He's... I mean, he's the dog.

Right? Doggy dog.

Whoo, whoo!

You can't drop the ball on this, Dineo.

You're the best I have.

But mess up again and you're fired.

DJ Fresh is only going to believe
that you had a stomach bug once.

Right. I promise no more distractions.
I'm getting my life back together.

- Yes!
- You're my home girl.

Come on.

So, tell me about yourself.

Is your dad's name "Oliver"?

Mmm-mmm.

'Cause you gonna be all over this dick.

You know, Dineo's been on, like, 11 dates.
And each of them has been an epic fail.

But every time she goes,

she believes that that guy
could be the guy.

That's crazy, right?

I have this policy.

I haven't slept with a guy more than once
in a long time.

Okay?

I've been very clear about
this with every man I've slept with,

and none of them have challenged me on it.

Except you.

Continue, I'm listening.

You're really not going to help me?

I wouldn't expect you to help
with my clients' taxes, so no.

Well, I could.

Oh, please. I doubt whatever
bartending course you did qualifies you.

I studied business
and commercial law.

Look at you now.
You think I'm hot.

Oh, please.
So why are you mopping floors?

You see, law was my dad's thing...

so I finished
the course and once I was done,

I traveled to Asia, the Caribbean,
I taught English...

I tended bars.

Now that I'm back,
I want to start my own nonprofit

aimed at sustainable development
throughout the continent.

Your dad must be so proud.

My dad and I aren't
on speaking terms, but I have faith.

Like my mom and I.
Not because of anything specific.

We just literally have nothing in common.

Why don't you?

She did everything by the
book, and I'm the family cautionary tale.

My dad, he'd kill to have a son like you.

Yeah, but when you're a woman,
you know success isn't enough, right?

No, child, no ring, no happiness.

No child, no ring...

looks beautiful to me.

Fine. I will help you clean.

Yeah. Finally. Here you go,
you're going to need that.

And you're going to need that.

Excuse you, I do not do mops.

And the last time I was on my knees
was varsity, okay?

- Okay.
- Cloth.

- Cloth.
- Thank you.

There you have it.
I'll take the mop.

Welcome. Thank you.

Well, I thought... Okay.

- Is that what we're doing?
- That's what's up.

♪ Look at this situation
How are we going to handle it? ♪

♪ My darling ♪

♪ It's yours and mine ♪

♪ I'm scared ♪

- Where have you been?
- Shit.

Oh, you scared the bejesus out of me!

Why are you sitting in the dark?

Friend.

What happened? Hey, did he hurt you?

It was a threesome, Noni.

With another guy.

Oh, and he wasn't cute?

How is this not surprising you?

Threesomes are more common than you think.

I mean, I've been approached, like, what?
Three times,

and usually by some older couple
from Germany.

Well, they were black.

Well, black people
are progressive too, man. Stay woke.

Is this what it really means to be single?

Really? Like, creeps, and threesomes,
and God knows what?

Yep.

But it's also freedom.

Having a place of your own.
Hanging out with your best friend.

How is... How is this enough for you?

Why isn't it enough for you?

I don't want to be single.

Come here.

I'm here.

Okay, fine.

I'll marry you.

Friend.

Will you come look at them with me?

Oh, what are you...

- Are these for you?
- Yeah.

It's time to get my own place, right?

- Yeah, but, friend, last night...
- Yeah, I know.

I know, I think saying it out loud
made me realize that you're right, friend.

You're right.
I should get a place of my own.

And I need to start focusing at work
before I get another warning.

- So, basically, I'm doing me now.
- You sure?

No.

But at least we'll be
single together, right?

- Right?
- Yeah.

- I thought you'd be excited about this.
- I am.

Hey! It's you and me forever, right?

- Forever. Forever.
- Forever.

Perfect non-date.

- Don't say it like that.
- Like what?

Like it's a date.

No pressure. I already had sex with you.
Goal achieved.

- You are so going down.
- Oh, I am?

Your place or mine?

Stop it.

That throw... No, that was not...
That's... I get a second chance.

Okay.

Whoo!

So, this apartment isn't big,
but it's economical.

Like a shoe box.

You're supposed help, Noni.

Be helpful, Noni.

If we go to the bedroom
you'll find...

Hey, sorry I'm late, I got caught...

- Oh, shit.
- Got caught up.

- I'll wait for you guys to finish.
- No, no, no. No, no.

This... This is him, girls and boys.

This... This is the man
who dates other women

while he's engaged to somebody else.

See, now everybody will get to see
who you really are, Lunga.

- It's still in selfie mode.
- Hmm?

Right! Because I meant to do that.

Because he doesn't deserve to be
on my social media.

- Shall we do the dramatic exit?
- Yes.

Flick hair.

No, no, actually... Actually...

There's this one thing, this one thing
I've been meaning to say to you.

It's gonna sting.

So, you're not getting
the apartment?

Shit.

Um...

- If I could show you the bedroom...
- Yeah.

- Right this way. It's beautiful.
- Let's go.

- Shh.
- Why? What's going...

- Where is she?
- She's sleeping.

- Sleeping?
- Sleeping.

Finally, she's sleeping.

Oh!

Shh, shh.

Shit, the remote. Where is it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Press the red button.
- I'm trying.

- Press it. Okay. Cool, cool.
- It's off.

Shit, she's up. Quick! Hide!

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Hey.
- What's up? Can't sleep?

Mmm, yeah. No, it's...

Stupid work stuff's
just stressing me out.

- Do you want me to come stay up with you?
- No, no, no. No.

Uh...

I smoked a joint, babe.

Think I'm gonna be fine.
I'm gonna be fine.

- Yeah?
- Mmm-hmm.

- Okay.
- Okay, friend.

- Okay. Good night.
- Good night, friend.

She's gone, right? She's gone.
We're going...

- Hello, Mama.
- Hello, my baby girl.

- Come in, come in.
- Thank you.

Hey, Mama V.

- Uh, Nolusi...
- Noni, Mama.

Okay.

Um, so, Mama, can I offer you
some tea, coffee?

- Blood?
- Uh...

Tea and coffee in this heat?

My baby, it's so hot outside.

You know,
winters used to be longer.

Yeah.

So tell me,

how long are you gonna be
staying here this time?

Not too long.
Not too long, Mama, I promise.

And where is that boy
you went on a date with?

Is he also staying in a commune?

You know it's just me and Noni
who live here, right?

Exactly. That's a commune.

Always such a pleasure
to see you.

Don't you have trays
in this house?

Anyway...

Mama, I've been thinking...

Maybe it's time
I should get my own place.

What's wrong, Mama?

What's wrong, Mama?

Dineo... Dineo...

Do you want to kill me?

How many times have I told you

men don't want
women with their own homes?

Then they really aren't men,
are they, Mama?

Wow, look who's talking.

The unmarried one.

Look, you're not like her.

You still stand a chance
to get out of this situation.

Mama... Mama, you've been alone
for a long time, right? Look at yourself.

You're fine.

- Fine?
- Yes.

- Fine?
- Yes.

I'm fine because
of the hope that one day

you're going to get married
and give me cute little grandkids.

Cute grandkids? Uh-uh, Mama.

Hey, Mama V, you are
way too young to be a grandmother.

- My goodness.
- Don't flatter me like that.

Let's talk about this, my child.

Just imagine a pretty lady like yourself

spending her life alone in her flat,
staring at the walls.

Uh-uh, girl.

Find a good husband
who's going to take care of you

and you can buy
your dream house together, you know?

Yes.

Cheers to that.

Cheers.

Thank you.

Does your wife know that you're here?

No.

So, are you gonna...
Are you gonna cheat on her with me?

That's up to you.

That was a joke. That was a joke. I'm...

That was a bad one. I'm sorry.

Um...

- I was gonna call you. It's just...
- You know...

I wanted to explain to you...
I got divorced.

What?

Um, that's...

That's why I was flat-hunting.
Too many memories at my place.

Of what? Of living with me
while you were engaged to her, hmm?

Okay. Can we not just do this here?
Can we not...

No, no, no.

Actually, this is... This is perfect
because you seem to forget

that I actually walked in
on your bachelor party.

So I think this is fair, right?
This is perfect, so...

My goodness.

Lunga, what? You were on a roll.

You got divorced, and then what?

You have the floor. Everyone's listening.

Okay, I... I made a mistake.

Dineo, I want you.

That's why I'm here.

But I thought you said that
we were just two people having...

What's the word?

"Fun." That's what you said, right?

No, I was wrong. And you were right.

You were right. I fell for you.

Hey, I fell for you.

That's why I didn't tell you the truth

and why I kept seeing you
when I shouldn't have.

I am in love with you.

Come to me,
baby. You can be mine.

So Fresh Protein needs
a new fresh social media strat, right?

To elevate the brand to the next level.

And this is why I introduce you to...

Fresh Chill Pills.

Weekly curated video content
for your social media

that is a wrap-up of a week in your life,
pumped by...

Wait for it.

Fresh Protein. Right?

It's like the pill that gets you pumped
to get on the Fresh Protein.

- I love it.
- Right.

You need to get food poisoning more often.

No, no. Absolutely not.

My days of projectile vomiting
are behind me.

Great. Okay.

Uh...

Just excuse me for a second,
ladies and gentleman.

Okay.

Oh, no, not again.

- You need to leave me alone.
- I can't do that. I love you.

- You love me?
- I love you.

- Since when?
- Dineo, look, I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry for what happened.

Gugu and I had an open relationship
while she was...

Listen. We did.

We tried to make it work,

but it's hard to give up on something
you've built for seven years.

You know what? It's a great story.
I just don't see where I come in.

Dineo, you...

You're the one
that I'm meant to come home to.

♪ Too late for sorry
It's over, king ♪

♪ I tried to fix it
But I end up coming back home alone ♪

♪ She says, "Too late for sorry"
It's over, king ♪

♪ I tried to fix it
But I end up coming back home alone ♪

♪ She says, "Too late for sorry" ♪

Okay.

Mmm!

- Definitely works better with the silver.
- Right?

Max's Vanilla Tequila
is what I'm calling it.

It's gonna be fire. It's gonna be...

- That's such a shitty name.
- That's not a shitty name.

I can't believe I let you see me naked.

It was glorious. Absolutely...

- Mmm-hmm.
- I love it.

So you're the one who's been
creeping in and out of our flat.

- No. No, no.
- No, no, no. Please, no.

- She was helping to check my tonsils.
- Yes. What?

Yeah, I mean, your tongue is so long
and beautiful,

- and I love it. Technically...
- Stop talking.

She's your friend.
She deserves to know the truth.

- Your friend is gone.
- Dineo! Didi! No, wait, Didi.

Didi.

Babe, don't make me run in heels.
You know I don't know how.

- Come on.
- Noni, why wouldn't you tell me about him?

I didn't want you to feel bad, you know.

- 'Cause you're...
- What?

- What? Because I'm what?
- 'Cause you're single.

Wow!

There it is. Know what you've become?
Those "couple" women you hate.

What? We aren't even a couple!
We're just...

- I like him...
- Me and Lunga had ice cream.

He's getting divorced and wants me back.

- And you said no?
- Yeah, I said no.

Because you wanted to.

Noni, what if he's the one?

What if?
You know, love is complicated, right?

Grow up. He's not the one.

- Why are you doing this?
- Because...

Because if you're with Max,
then I really am alone.

I'm not "with Max."

Noni, you've slept with him
more than once.

In your own words, that's a relationship.

♪ Down by the river
I took a walk ♪

♪ I met a boy with charisma
He took my hand ♪

♪ And looked so deeply
Straight into my eyes ♪

♪ Said he's gonna show me paradise ♪

♪ I can't believe
I almost missed out on you ♪

♪ Just 'cause your love was something
Different and new ♪

♪ I've never met
Someone like you ♪

♪ I'm in love with you
I love you deeply ♪

♪ With you, I am complete
My love... ♪

♪ I love you so much, baby ♪

♪ I love you ♪

Every fucking karaoke night with this
"I love you, baby" shit, right?

Guys, look, I'm really sorry
that we had to do this here.

It was too late
for me to get the night off.

No, no, no. It's fine, Max. It's fine.

At least this way, we get to just drink
and walk back to the flat, right?

And hopefully there won't be,
like, a road block on the way.

To the...

Yes, drinks. Yo, hey.

There you go.

Thank you.

Wait, wait, wait.

Listen,
bring a lot of alcohol, okay?

Okay, great, great.

- I want to make a toast.
- A toast?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

Uh, to second chances...

and new beginnings.
And our first double date.

- Hey. There.
- Cheers to that.

Ouch.

And I want to make a toast to you, Dineo.

I know I don't deserve you...

Um, but thank you for loving me anyway.

And for bringing us all together.

And, Noni, thank you for agreeing to this.

You know what?
If Dineo's happy, Noni's happy.

You don't need to speak for me.

Then maybe you should say something.

Oh, thank you.

How could you not tell her
you were engaged?

Noni.

I meant what happened
in soccer this weekend.

That's between us two.

Are you pro-Israel or pro-Palestine?
You know, mild topics.

But it wasn't between you two
when you married someone else.

And it wasn't between you two
when I had to pick her up off the floor

because she was so drunk
and her heart broken over you.

Why'd you have to say that?

Yes. Yes. Yes, yes.

I think we should go up next.

You know I don't do the stage.

We'll go. We'll go.

- Yes?
- Yes, let's go, let's go.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.

Couple goals.

Whose side are you on?

I'm on your side, of course.

But if you go on like this,
you'll lose your friend.

Oh.

Cheaters always stick together.

- Okay, I am not Lunga.
- You're all Lunga.

What are you even saying? What?

What is happening?

Are you fucking kidding me right now?

Are you kidding me?

Noni!

No, man. Noni, wait!

Noni, Noni, wait, wait, wait.
Nondumiso.

What's wrong?

You were supposed
to give him a chance.

- I don't trust him.
- But he makes me happy.

No, he makes you feel less alone.

Okay. What's wrong with that, huh?

You're stuck in a fairy tale.

These guys don't love you, okay?

They use you and then they throw you away,
and you let them.

That sounds more like you than me,
but okay.

Please. No one uses me.

Really? You? You?

You getting drunk and hooking up

with every Tommy, Doomy and Harry
that you meet?

Friend, you're not going to be
young and beautiful forever.

And then what?
What will you be left with, hmm?

My self-respect.
For not settling for trash.

How can you call it "respect"

when the only difference is
you don't get paid for it?

Noni, that didn't...

I... Friend, I didn't mean that.

Do what you always do, okay?

Take your things. Move in with him.

But this time... don't come back,
because now I'm done.

Noni...

Noni...

It's gonna be okay.

- Are you sure it's okay if I stay here?
- Yeah. Come here.

Look, I don't want
you to ever leave again. Okay?

Come here.

♪ Just hold me, hold me ♪

♪ Just touch me, touch me ♪

♪ Just kiss me ♪

♪ Just hold me, hold me ♪

♪ Just touch me, touch me ♪

♪ Just kiss me ♪

♪ Taking me higher
Higher than the day ♪

♪ You're taking me higher
Higher than the day ♪

Have you ever cheated?

Yeah, once in varsity.

It was a hectic exam.

Yeah, we had been dating for, like,
a few months.

Why?

We were young and stupid.

And, to be fair,

she cheated first.

Is that what happened to you?

Wait...

It's almost morning.

What does that mean?

Get out.

What?

- What happened?
- Just go.

No, I can only do tonight,
that's the thing.

No, you don't have to do that.

Okay, fine. Fine. Um... look.

I'll meet you at the Silver Star Hotel
at 8:00. How's that?

Let me call you back.

- Hey.
- Hey, baby.

You... You're back early. How... are you?

You... You good?

Yeah. Traffic wasn't bad.

Who was that?

Uh, work. You know me. I work, work...
I just work.

They want me to meet
some new client tonight.

- So I have to do that. I know...
- Tonight?

- Yeah.
- Can't it wait until the morning?

No, baby, 'cause tomorrow morning
is your birthday.

And the rest of the day
is your birthday as well.

- I don't want to work on your birthday.
- I'm... I'm not gonna.

Are you hungry? Did you eat?

I'm hungry. I could eat.
You look beautiful.

I'm gonna make some food, okay?

- Hello?
- Hey.

Hey.

It's happening again.

I'm at this hotel
'cause Lunga has this meeting,

and I'm just sitting at this lobby and...

Which hotel?

Which hotel?

His parents?

What?

Uh, his parents. I recognize them
from the photos, but...

Why wouldn't he tell me
his parents are here?

Oh, they're here for your surprise party.

What... what... what surprise? For me?

Baby. Honey, this is amazing.

You don't call him "honey."

Why are you dancing?

What? This is for me?

For me?

This is just amazing.

What is this?

Oh, my God, you guys. This is...

Okay.

Keep following. Almost there.

- I'm fine. Okay. Okay.
- You're good, you're good.

- What's happening?
- There you go.

Surprise!

Oh, my goodness! Wow!

- Happy birthday, baby.
- I'm so surprised.

Mom, Dad,

this is Dineo.

- Hello, Dineo.
- Uh...

Hello, Mama. Nice to meet you.

You, too. So nice to meet you.

- Mama.
- Yes, my baby.

You know what? You are so lucky

to have a man like him.

My future son-in-law.

Oh, my goodness.
You know, he does things in style.

Let me just go check
on something with the manager quickly.

Okay.

I'm so glad, Duri,
you are back together again.

- You found each other again.
- Mmm.

Now you can buy that big house ya lona,
the dream house. Together.

- Together?
- Yes.

This man is going to
look after you, my child.

He's not like your father.

- He's committed, and I can tell.
- Ah, Mama.

Um...

A few of Lunga's friends
want to meet Didi,

so I'm gonna steal her for a few minutes.

Yes.

Right.

- But who are all these people?
- I have no idea.

I'm actually surprised you came.

Well, someone has to keep you sane
around your mother.

- Yeah.
- You look like a Stepford wife.

Noni, I'm so sorry.

Friend...

Dineo, baby, can you please come
stand here next to me?

Okay.

Yeah, Dineo, come.

- What is happening?
- Um...

Firstly, I, uh... I want to thank you all
for joining us here today. Um...

Dineo and I have been through a lot
as a couple.

And having you all here to celebrate
with us today means so much.

We've, uh...

Yeah, we've had a few bumps on the road.

Yeah, so, um...

Right now I just want to make sure
that we we never lose each other again.

Oh, shit. Everyone take out your phones,
'cause if we miss this, she'll kill us.

Oh, my child.

Dineo Mudau.

You fight for love
even when it seems impossible.

You take care of me.
You make me a better man.

And I hope you'll keep doing that
for the rest of our lives.

Will you marry me?

Say yes.

Okay, put your phones away.

Uh, Dineo...

So proud of my girl.

Champagne.

Dineo.

Dineo, what are you doing?
What are you doing? What's going on?

What the hell was that?

I followed you last night.

To the hotel. I followed you,
and I know it's crazy,

but I thought I was gonna walk in
on your bachelor party.

Except it's not crazy,

because that's exactly what happened.
I walked in on your bachelor party,

- and you married somebody else.
- That was then.

That was then. That's my past.

I am here with you now.

- You say you love me, right?
- Yeah.

But you never called me.

- Does it matter?
- Yes, it does.

- Does it really matter?
- It does!

When... When in the entire time
that we've known each other

have you shown me that you want me?

- Not a fill-in girlfriend.
- Uh...

Not somebody who takes care of you, Lunga.
Just me. Just me, Dineo.

Three minutes ago, Dineo.

Three minutes ago when I got on one knee
and I asked you to marry me.

Which is three months
after you got divorced, right?

Right.

I'm not in love with you.

I'm not.

I'm in love with not being alone.

Didi?

Dineo.

I don't deserve you, friend.

Shut up.

Oh!

Lunga's failed proposal has gone viral,
and you're no longer Desperate Bae.

Ugh. Oh, God, I can't believe I did that.

Oh, you slayed
emotional dragons today, friend.

You should be so proud.

Noni, being single is fine, right?

Yeah.

Sure as hell beats losing the right guy
'cause you're an idiot.

So bar boy is the right guy?

You know what? You know what?

If I can turn down
a marriage proposal today,

then you, my friend...

- You can go win your man back.
- Mmm.

Okay. Tomorrow.

I think we've had enough excitement
for one day.

No, today. Now, actually.

- Uh-uh, friend.
- Yes.

I've cleaned my face and everything.

You can do it in five minutes...
and he doesn't care.

Let's go. Let's go.

I hope you guys are having
a lovely evening.

- Okay.
- Can we talk?

I'm busy.

I'm really sorry about
the fight. And for breaking up with you.

Nothing happened to me, okay?
No one broke my heart.

I just... I've seen so many people
destroyed by love that I just...

I built up walls and I made up rules.

Did you hear me?

I hear you, but...

How do I really know
you're ready to break those walls down?

Yeah.

♪ I love you ♪

♪ So much ♪

♪ I love you so... ♪

♪ I love you so much ♪

♪ I love you so much ♪

♪ You are the one for me ♪

♪ And I am the one for you ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ So much ♪

♪ I need you ♪

♪ I want you ♪

♪ I love you ♪

Yes! Yes!

Please get me off the stage.

Yeah, wanna get off?

- You're gonna have to carry me.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- No problem.

Show's over.

Okay, here we go.

For someone
without a place to stay,

you have a lot of stuff.

At least now there's room
for you, Maxie, right?

- No way! What? No.
- Yeah.

- Why?
- No, no one's moving anywhere.

Okay, you guys, I think that's it.
That's everything, yeah.

- Are you sure you've got this?
- Yeah, promise.

I think we should go
before she changes her mind.

Yeah, let's do that.

Mmm. You're gonna miss me, aren't you?

- No.
- Yes.

- No.
- Yes.

- Max's turn. Come here, Max.
- Yeah.

Take care of my friend.

- I will.
- Promise?

- Yeah.
- Good.

- Let's get out of here.
- Bye.

Bye, babes.

Okay.

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Open your ears
And tell me what you hear ♪

♪ Can you hear the power of your voice? ♪

♪ Open your heart
And tell me what you feel ♪

♪ Can you feel the power of your choice? ♪

♪ The choice you made to fall in love ♪

♪ Replace the hate
And break the chains apart, yeah ♪

♪ So take a breath, take it deep
Release the pain ♪

♪ Set yourself free
From the ugly in this world ♪

- ♪ 'Cause you're beautiful ♪
- ♪ Love yourself ♪

- ♪ Protect yourself ♪
- ♪ Yes, you're beautiful ♪

- ♪ 'Cause you're beautiful ♪
- ♪ Love yourself ♪

- ♪ Protect yourself ♪
- ♪ Yes, you're beautiful ♪

♪ I am leaving with my man
Where are the men? ♪

♪ I am leaving with my man
Where are the men? ♪

♪ I am leaving with my man
Where are the men? ♪

♪ I am leaving with my man ♪

♪ Up in the club
All that we see ♪

♪ We see the mistresses ♪

♪ We wake up at six in the morning ♪

♪ We throw our panties in a bag ♪

♪ If you don't pay, you can't go in ♪

♪ We see the mistresses ♪

♪ We wake up at six in the morning ♪

♪ We throw our panties in a bag ♪

♪ If you don't pay, you can't go in ♪

♪ We see the mistresses ♪

♪ We wake up at six in the morning ♪

♪ We throw our panties in a bag ♪

♪ If you don't pay you can't go in ♪

♪ We see the mistresses ♪

♪ We wake up at six in the morning ♪

♪ We throw our panties in a bag ♪

♪ If you don't pay, you can't go in ♪

♪ I am leaving with my man
Where are the men? ♪

♪ I am leaving with my man
Where are the men? ♪

♪ I am leaving with my man
Where are the men? ♪

♪ I am leaving with my man
Where are the men? ♪

♪ Up in the club
All that we see ♪

♪ We see the mistresses
We wake up at six in the morning ♪

♪ We throw our panties in a bag... ♪

Slate 415, take three.

Oh!

Room Pollux.

What?

Pollux.

Okay, let's go.

Two more boxes of condoms
for Room Pollux, please.

Yeah.

Mandisa, Pollux.

My safe word is "beetroot."
I said it three times.

Oh, you girls look beautiful.

No, guys.

Clapper board set.

Girl, is your father a terrorist?

'Cause that ass is the bomb.

Are you a piece of cake?

'Cause I want a piece of that.

- That's a terrible line.
- Yeah.

Can you try the other one?

- Is your dad's name "Oliver"?
- Why...

'Cause you gonna be all over this...

dick.

Let's redefine that
so it's more prominent.

All right,
we're gonna do it again.

And, Dineo, I just... I want to make sure
that we never lose each other again.

Holy shit.
Pull out your phones, please.

If we miss this, she's gonna kill us.

Yeah!

Even me. I quit.

- And then?
- We're going, man.

Was this your perfect wedding?

- Next time, say it first.
- Go and try again.

Um...

- I was gonna call you. I just...
- You know...

- I wanna explain to you...
- Sorry.

Dineo, just let me explain
that I was gonna...

I got divorced!

- What?
- What?

All right, still rolling.

Still rolling. Reset. Still rolling.

All right, let's go.