Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012) - full transcript

Okay, what we're
getting now is, yes,

they're saying it was, in
fact, a fire that erupted

inside the external tank
of the ship

exactly 98 seconds after it
entered the asteroid field.

No one is sure
what caused the fire

which led to
the massive explosion

killing all 12
crew members and scientists

aboard the space
shuttle Deliverance,

taking with them our
last and only hope.

Once again,
if you're just tuning in,

the CSA space shuttle
Deliverance



has been destroyed.

The final mission to
save mankind has failed.

The 70-mile-wide asteroid
known commonly as "Matilda"

is set to collide with Earth
in exactly three weeks' time,

and we'll be bringing you
up-to-the-minute coverage

of our countdown
to the end of days,

along with all your
classic rock favorites.

This is Q107.2.

I think we missed
the exit.

...they say the damage
to the tower has rendered

all cellular
telephones useless.

No word yet on how long
before water and power

will be shut off altogether.

But we'll be bringing you
all the information you need



just as long as
we have a live feed.

And be sure to stay tuned at
9:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time

for the End of the World
Awareness Concert.

The human migration
continues...

- Sorry, dude!
- It's okay.

What are you doing?

Hey, up yours, pal!

I'm sorry, sir,

that's not covered
under your current policy.

I'm afraid the Armageddon
package is extra, yes.

Well, that protects you
and your family

against any sort of
apocalyptic disaster.

Asteroids, obviously,
plague, famine, locusts...

Drawbacks? Um...

The premiums are high...

I'm sorry... Can you just hold
on for one moment? Thank you.

So feel free to wear

your casual Friday clothing
pretty much any day of the week.

And since Ted in Human
Resources is no longer with us,

I thought I'd let you all know of
a few positions in upper management

that have been
made available.

So, if anyone wants to be
Chief Financial Officer...

CFO? Anyone?

Life has no meaning.

Anyone?

I really think I'm coming
down with something.

On your right!

On your right, buddy.

On your right!

You could have
told me that yesterday!

Linda?

Oh, hi, Elsa.

Hi, Mr. Dodge.

- Okay, I finish.
- Okay.

Me estoy volviendo vieja,
Mr. Dodge. I getting older.

I didn't mean to rush
you off or anything.

Do you have
someplace to be?

I mean, if you want,
you could...

I don't know,
you could watch TV here,

or something,
whatever you like.

Oh, my kids are waiting.

Oh, right. Of course.
You have kids.

Listen, Elsa, you don't
have to come next week.

Or, you know, ever, if you
don't want to. It's okay.

You firing me?

No, no, no. No, I just...

Is this because
I don't watch TV with you?

No. No. I, uh...

I just thought,
considering...

There's just no need to...

Nothing.
Forget it. It's fine.

You're out of Windose.

More Windose, got it.

See you next week, Mr. Dodge.

Okay.

I regret my entire life.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Bye!
- Bye, now.

Well, it's no longer
just the postal service.

Commercial airlines have
discontinued altogether today.

After much delay, the final
flight, piloted by Delta Airlines,

left Chicago Midway
at 3:45 Central Time,

touching down in
Seattle at 6:15 Pacific.

Private charters have been
given military clearance

to use intercontinental
airspace at their own risk.

And now
the traffic report. Amy?

We're fucked, Bob.

Thank you, Amy.

Oh, shit.

... they have yet to make
a statement regarding rumors

of a classified space launch for
high-ranking government officials,

religious figureheads,
and important contributors

to athletics
and entertainment.

They have predicted
the exact location of impact,

but the government is refusing to
release this information to the public

to avoid creating an even
greater sense of panic.

- Oh! You're early!
- Hi.

Aw. Warren told me
about Linda.

Oh, yeah...

I am so surprised
she didn't do it sooner.

She never really
looked happy,

especially when
she was with you.

That's new information.

- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.

Why do you think she
didn't want to have kids?

Karen Amalfi is
coming alone tonight.

Don't. Do not.

Do not what?

Please, Warren. Can we just
have a few sober moments tonight?

This is the
Last Supper, Diane.

You think Jesus was sober
for his last supper?

You think he turned
water into lemonade?

Dodge,
a little help, please.

Uh-uh. No, no, no, no, no.
Dodge is my friend.

My friend.
Look at this, my friend.

This is a Don Ramon cigar.

This is the hardest
cigar in the world...

Can you chop those
a little louder, please?

This is the hardest cigar
in the world to find.

And tonight, I'm going to share
one of my last 13 with you.

How's that sit?

Hi, Danny.

Hey, can I fix you
a drink, son?

Quit ruining my life.

Good for you, sweetie. Express yourself.

Go fuck yourself!

I was thinking
maybe we should set up

Dodge with Karen.
Don't you think?

Oh, my God,
will you stop it?

What?

He doesn't want to get set up
with one of your gross friends.

He needs to
meet somebody!

No, he doesn't!

- Leave him alone.
- He is alone, look at him.

- I'm fine.
- No, honey, you're not fine.

You're gonna die alone.
Doesn't that bother you?

- He's not gonna die alone.
- Yes, he is.

He's not gonna die alone.
He's gonna die with everybody else!

There's just no need
to cling to who's closest.

This isn't
the fucking Ark, Diane.

This is the Titanic!

And there is not
a life raft in sight.

Welcome aboard.

Dodge, you remember
Karen Amalfi.

Hello, good to see you.

Hi.

It's everything
I never wore.

- Ta-da!
- Mmm!

It's very nice,
very shiny.

You're funny.

So...

Well...

We decided that we would use
this time to be with family.

First we're gonna go to
West Virginia, see my sister

and her husband
and the two boys.

Even though
we just saw them.

We just saw them.

And then Lacey wants to go
to her stepfather's in Aspen

so that she can
tell him to fuck off.

And also ski!

And ski.

- Great!
- Yeah.

Karen?

Oh.

Um... Hmm.

Okay, well, I think I'm finally
gonna take that pottery class.

And... Well, I'm gonna
eat whatever I want,

and totally
not even care. Just...

Go, girl.

And maybe I'II, um,

be spending a little time
with someone special.

Yeah.

Oh, me? Let's see...

What was the question?

Qué será, será!

We're gonna ski first,
and then she's gonna tell...

Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink! Drink!

Fight through the burn, fight through
the burn! Fight through the burn!

Yes!

Winner's wine!

- Hey, Dodge!
- Hey, Roache.

Dodger! I'm gonna miss you, man.
Gonna miss you...

Oh, boy. It's the fucking
Wild West, you know?

- Is it?
- Come on.

Single guys like us, I mean, we
gotta grab this thing, you know?

Because it is
a different world now.

It's a different world.

- Okay.
- We gotta... You know?

No, I don't. I don't...

- I don't...
- You don't? Dude,

the sky is falling.

The sky is falling.

And it's raining pussy!

It's raining pussy

Dude, ever since
Deliverance, man,

I've been with a
different girl every day.

And they don't care
about getting pregnant.

They don't care
about diseases,

or are you gonna
call them back,

or can you
provide for them,

or do you have
a small dick,

or are you related.
All right?

And it's like
the apocalypse...

The apocalypse has
leveled the field, man.

Oh, my God.
Do you want to double-stuff that cookie?

Do you want to double-stuff
that cookie with me?

Two chefs in the kitchen

We're double-stuffing the
cookie Dodge and Roache

You guys, look!
Sarah and Dave brought heroin.

- It's time.
- Bucket list! Bucket list!

Wait, where's Lacey?
Let Lacey do it, she's a dental assistant.

- I'll do it.
- Yeah, you do it, Lace.

Here we go.

Oh,
don't grab, Roache.

Let's watch her, let's
everyone watch her do it.

Put some
Radiohead on.

I want to do heroin
to Radiohead.

Yeah! Yeah!

This is dynamite!
Everybody, run!

I'm kidding! It's not.

It can't hurt you unless you
get about this close to it.

Are you hiding?

Yes.

You don't have to do heroin
if you don't want to, sweetie.

Look, I tried.

I just can't spend the last month
of my life getting to know someone.

It's ridiculous.

You don't like Karen?

I couldn't
possibly give a shit.

I'm not gonna sit across from
someone and hear all their stories,

even if she was someone
I could be interested in,

because I just...

I'm not sure that the month
between my wife leaving me

and the end of the world
sounds like good timing. Do you?

What... Hey... What are you
doing? What are you doing?

What?

- What?
- What?

You're Warren's.

No, I'm not.

Nobody's anybody's
anything anymore.

Why did Linda
get to disappear?

Why does everybody else
get to do what they want?

I don't know
what I want.

You can't run
from this, Dodge.

Hello?

You okay?

No.

How could I be so stupid?

I don't know.
I don't know you very well.

I'm never gonna
see my family again.

I missed the planes,
all of them.

I mean, God, it's the end of the
world and I'm still 15 minutes late.

I can hear my father say it now.
I can hear him say,

"Flaky and irresponsible,"
and he's right.

How could I do this?
I put my energy in the wrong places,

I give my time to
the wrong people.

I mean,
when I think of all the...

All the holidays I didn't
spend with my mum and dad

to be with some guy
I used to know.

Would you like to come in?

I won't steal anything
if you don't rape me.

Agreed.

My name's Penny.

I'm Dodge.

How long have you
lived here?

Three years. You?

I just broke up
with someone.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, I mean...

You know,
it was building to this.

He's just taking the night
to clear out his stuff.

I mean, it's always better
to sleep on the fire escape

than have pity sex,
I always say.

Mmm.

What's that?

What? Oh, that is cough
syrup with codeine.

- Splash of vodka.
- Can I have a sip?

Actually, I'm feeling a little...

Mmm.

You want some weed?

Hmm?

Oh, no, thank you.

It's the only thing
that sends me to sleep

and the only thing
that wakes me up again.

I mean, seriously,

I've got a wicked
case of hypersomnia.

I mean, I could sleep
through the apocalypse.

- Who's the girl?
- Who?

Oh. That's Olivia.

Is she the one
that got away?

Well, they all got away,
but she was the first, yeah.

Are you gonna go
and get her back?

I'm sure she has
enough on her plate.

And what is it about
the end of the world

that brings them
all out of the woodwork?

... there he's got it.

Yeah.
He changed his mind, as he...

...doing a terrific
job of cutting him off.

Now coming from behind,

he's got him around the
shoulders, and down goes...

Oh.

I'm ready to go
downstairs now.

Oh?

Wait here a tick.

Okay.

He's gone. Took my Pet Sounds with
him. I should've seen that coming.

Mmm.

So...

What are you doing
with the rest of your life?

Oh, um...

Little of this,
little of that.

Probably catching
up on some "me" time.

Find God.

Maybe move around
some chairs.

Well, maybe I'll run into
you at a support group

or an orgy or something.

Yeah, that sounds nice.

Uh...

What's that?

That's your mail.

Why do you have it?

Oh, you know how the mailman
would sometimes put the mail

- in the wrong box?
- Uh-huh.

Well, over time, say like...
Well, three years, I mean, it...

God, it really
adds up, doesn't it?

Isn't it funny?
I mean, how we've lived

so close and
we've never said hi.

Oh, but I did meet
your roommate a few times.

My roommate?
You mean Linda?

Linda. Linda, right. And her
boyfriend, what was his name?

Oh, God, they seemed so happy
together. What was his name?

I haven't seen them in a
while. Are they all right?

What was his name again?

I forget.

$8.50.

Come on.

Give it to me!
I'll hit it!

Fuck, yeah! Hit it!

What started as a few
individuals acting out

has quickly escalated
into a massive riot

sweeping through
the streets of downtown.

If we could show
the live footage, Dory?

Dory?

You see people using
every available weapon,

looting, smashing windows,

setting fires, and in some
cases, attacking one another.

With the lack of
police presence,

we are seeing people
with nothing left to lose.

They appear to be
moving off Main Street

and heading towards
Division Avenue,

where residences and
businesses are more at risk.

And perhaps
it's only a matter of time

before the city is
too dangerous to inhabit.

Oh, my God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Okay. Okay.

Oh, Sorry. Okay.
Good, Sorry. Here we go.

Come on.

Penny?

Penny! Penny?

- Penny!
- Who the fuck are you?

Oh, shit! I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm Dodge,
I live upstairs.

I've never
seen you before.

We've run into each other a
few times, but that's not...

I'm pretty good with faces.

Anyway... Obviously,
there's a riot going on.

Maybe you heard the
screaming, smelled the burning.

If you could
just wake up Penny,

I think we should get out of
the building as soon as possible.

Jesus.

You're fucking her,
aren't you?

What? No... What?
No, I'm...

No. I'm not.

Oh, I knew it!

I knew it.

Fuck! I knew it!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Shit!

Okay, all right.

Penny! Come on,
here we go. Wake up.

There you go.

Hey! I decide
when Penny wakes up!

This isn't what
it looks like.

I broke my hand, baby.

I hope you're happy.
It's my guitar hand.

Aren't they both
your guitar hands?

Penny, there's a small riot brewing
and we need to go, right now!

She's not going
anywhere with you...

Would you
please just stop?

We all need to go! Come on! Here we go!
Here we go, guys! Come on!

My hand! My gift.
Will you just look at it? I broke it.

This is the guy?

I can't believe you want
this creep instead of me.

Hey! Hey! I'm not kidding!
Let's do it!

Oh, he's old!

He's not even good-looking.
What, do you have a job?

- Mister Job?
- Owen!

I told you there wasn't anybody else.
Oh, shit, my records.

So you broke up
with me for nobody?

Do you not see
how that's worse?

We don't have time for this.

Scott Walker, Wilco...
John Cale!

Hey, that's my Cale.

We don't have time
for any of this, guys!

Goodbye, friends!

Come on.

Give me that Cale.

Okay, here we go.

I'll drive.

- All right, all right.
- Hey!

Watch out for my hand.

Here we go.

I can't believe you're
breaking up with me now.

It's the worst timing
for me, ever!

We didn't
get back together.

- What do you call last night?
- Nothing happened!

Since when is
snuggling nothing?

Shit. I thought
it was right there.

You don't remember
where you parked?

No, it was...
It was on...

It was on 1st and 9th.
Fuck, maybe it was 10th and 2nd?

- This way.
- It could have been 3rd...

It was definitely one
of those combinations.

I'm the asshole, right?
Everything's my fault?

Can we just concentrate
on finding the car?

No, Owen,
it's not about that.

I'm just saying
that we're not a match.

I mean, isn't it better we
find out now, rather than later?

No!

What do you mean,
not soul mates?

I love you.
I want to take care of you.

Just get...

Penny, let's go,
come on!

- Owen?
- Come on!

You okay?
Come on! Go for the car.

There it is!

Is this because
you pay my rent?

Because I had to swallow a lot
of pride to let you do that.

Get in the car, Owen.

I'm not leaving the city.

Well, it's my car.

Oh, that's right,
I don't have a car.

Throw that in my face
while you're at it.

They're right on top of us!

"They're right on top of us!"

- Would you get out and help?
- I'll do it!

No, no, no.
No, no, no. I'll do it.

Just...

Oh, God, there's a guy.
There's a guy right there!

Cut the wheel! Cut it!

What are you doing?
Cut the wheel!

- I'm...
- Cut the wheel!

- Fire! Fire!
- There's fire!

You're not
cutting at all!

Are you freaking blind?

God, here they come!

What is wrong with you?

Hey! Hey!
I know a guy with a plane.

If you drive me to where I need to
go, I can get you to your family.

Hello? Cut the wheel!

That's it. Now come
forward a little bit.

Ah, he'll be fine!

Hey!

So tell me
about this plane.

You know, hybrid cars
don't need as much gas.

Yes. They still need
a little gas, don't they?

No, I'm just saying, you don't
have to fill them up as much.

Does this mean we're
not going to the plane?

Look, maybe you should
just forget about the plane.

I left Owen in
the middle of a riot.

He used you as
a human shield, Penny.

You don't even know him.

Look, you're the one who woke
me up in the middle of the night,

dragged me out of bed...
You're right.

I don't know why I bothered saving
your life, after you ruined mine.

What is that
supposed to mean?

What? What is that?

Well, you know how
sometimes the mailman

would put the mail
in the wrong box?

Well, sometimes, the girl
that you never got over

sends you a letter.

That's from the girl?
My God.

Oh, my God!
That's great, right?

Yeah, it's pretty good.

What would be great is if I could
call her from a regular phone,

or I could just hop
on a train to wherever,

or not die in
the outer suburbs.

But instead,
I am on the scenic route

to the guillotine
with you, and you.

She could be at the
fucking pyramids by now.

She could have blown her
head off, and I wouldn't know,

because I didn't get this

three annoying months ago!

Oh.

Now I feel bad.

Fuck. Look,
guilt isn't a feeling

that I'm comfortable with.

Well, fortunately you won't
have long to live with it.

What are you doing?

Penny, this really
doesn't involve you.

I said I was gonna get you there,
I'm gonna get you there, so...

Where was the last place
you saw her?

Where was she
18 years ago?

Look, you don't need to spend
the last few days of your life

with a total stranger.

You're not a total stranger,
and these aren't my last days.

Oh, you're a survivalist.

No, I'm not a survivalist.
I'm an optimist.

- Hello!
- You having some trouble?

Do you know where the
nearest gas station is?

Yeah, but diesel is all they got left.
Where you headed?

Where we headed, Dodge?

Somerset.

Somerset. Wherever that is.

I think Huntsville
might be as far as I'm going.

Great! Thank you!

So,
what's your pilgrimage?

Because everybody's
headed somewhere.

Well, I'm going to see
my family, and he's...

He's looking for someone.

Who is it
you're looking for?

His high school
sweetheart.

Is that right?

Well, there's no
greater search

than that of lost love,
I'll give you that.

- You married?
- No, darling,

I never did walk the plank.
There was a special lady.

My Rita passed
seven years back.

You know, it's all about
who you lay down with

when the lights go out.

Takes longer than it
should to figure that part.

Truth is, it's nice to have
some company for a change.

Even strangers.

Why don't you
tell us your life story?

Then we won't be
strangers anymore.

Yeah?

Well, sure. Let's see.
I was born in...

Wait a minute. I should probably
tell Daddy's life story first,

- so there's some context.
- Okay.

- Uptime?
- Groovy!

Yeah. Daddy was born
in Skokie, Illinois.

And his dad was born in Okie.
Used to catch bass.

So they run
a bunch of tests

and they all come back
with the same bad news.

Doctors give me
six months to live.

Then I go home, turn on the
TV, and they say three weeks.

If you ask me, a man is not
supposed to know when his time is up,

it's not natural.

That's when you find yourself
renting a gun and buying a bullet.

But that ain't
no way into heaven.

Isn't that right, Dodge?

Hmm?

No, I guess not.

I'm gonna go
drain the snake.

You wanna join me?

No, thanks, I'm good.

Okay, what a fucking weirdo.

I think he's soulful.

Who drives around with shovels?
I don't trust him.

Glen? What?
He told us his life story.

Yes, and thank you
for that, by the way.

Do you know, if you actually
listened, you might learn something.

Sorry needs to go out.

I'll go. I will take him.

I'm gonna take him for a sniff.
Don't go anywhere.

I knew it
as soon as I saw you.

That detached look in your eyes.
That vague way about you.

You almost had me
fooled with that line

about your
high school girlfriend.

I'm sorry, I don't...

Don't be sorry, son.

Just kill me quickly.

What?

Well, I thought we could
do it in that nice field,

but if you're gonna shoot me in the
back, then let's get it over with.

Shoot you? I don't...
Are we still speaking metaphorically?

Well, what's it gonna be, then?
Knife? Piano wire?

Okay, you know what?
She's gonna be back any second.

Don't tell me they sent
a girl to do a man's job.

I specifically
requested a male!

Unless you're some sort of team!
Is that how this works?

Okay, you know what?
I don't think I am who you think I am.

Well, that's a relief.

Because I was afraid
I could fight you off!

You know, Dodge,
when a man...

Dodge? Glen?

Oh, my God.

Glen's dead.

Are you okay?
Did you get the plates?

"When a man..."

"When a man..." What do you
think he was trying to say?

I don't know, Penny.

"When a man..."

Loves a woman?

"When a man..."
Is a trucker?

The man...

The man committed
suicide via homicide

two weeks before
the apocalypse.

I'm not really concerned
with any Road Warriorwisdom

I may have
missed out on. Okay?

All right.

I'll drive.
Do you have the keys?

Oh...

Okay.

Okay.

You'd think a lifetime of
waiting for the worst to happen

would have
prepared me for this.

How could anyone
prepare for this?

I always knew.
I always knew it'd be over too soon.

I never saw myself
as an old man.

Really?

I thought I was gonna live forever.
Was totally gonna peak at 40.

Well, I hear 30
is the new 40.

Luckily, I'm getting my mid-life
crisis in just under the wire.

She must be really special,
huh? Olivia?

To want to find her
after so much time.

She was, yeah.

So why did you break up?

We were young.
We were not fully formed beings yet.

Life just took us
in different directions.

She dumped you?

Yes.

What about you?

What about me?

Who's the one that got away?

I am, thank God.

I don't mean I'm anything
special, I just...

I'm glad that part of my life's
over with, you know? Relationships.

I thought
you weren't cynical.

I'm not cynical. I'm...

I'm clinical.

I am a recovering
serial monogamist.

Sounds very serious.

Very serious.

I went to this
therapist who told me

that I had problems
being alone.

But then, I mean, she wanted
to see me five times a week,

so you tell me
who had the real problem.

You know, if the end of the
world has taught me anything,

it's that I'm finally
getting my...

Oh, my God.

Is that a Friendsy's?

I would kill for a pint.

Hi, welcome to Friendsy's,
where everyone's your friend!

- Hi!
- Hi!

Two for dinner? Yeah!

Look at this little guy.

Is this okay?

Oh, yeah!
Everyone's welcome, yeah.

Dude brought in a wolf
last week. It's crazy!

Come on in!

Okay.

Taquitos!

Yeah, three orders.

I can't believe
you guys are still open.

Yeah, we thought about
closing up shop,

but then we realized this is
really our family, you know?

In fact, the tragedy has brought us closer.
Some of us too close.

That's impossible.

And under new management,
it's a lot less corporate.

Right, Steven?

Right. I hope
a booth is okay.

Yeah, it's...

We burned all the chairs in a bonfire.

I'm gonna pass you
off to Katie, okay?

You're in warm hands with her.
My skin feels great!

Thanks, Darcy.
Isn't he incredible?

Hi, I'm Katie.

Can you
slide over, please?

Yeah.

- Can I touch your hair?
- Yeah.

- Oh, it's so soft.
- Thank you.

Can I get you guys something
to wet your whistle?

Everything's awesome!

- How are your mudslides?
- Fucking awesome!

- Can we get two mudslides?
- Yes.

Thank you.

Do you guys wanna
know the specials?

Because these guys are
getting really creative.

No, just the mudslides.

Okay! Gotcha.
Guys, I'm rolling pretty hard right now,

but if you two
keep it super positive,

I will bring you
those M-slides.

And maybe an order of
spin-dip for the table.

That is amazing! And you know what,
it's his birthday today.

Why didn't you tell me that?
Happy birthday!

Thank you.

I really hope you're
having a good time.

Yeah, I am having fun.

I think that this place
is some sort of cult

and we probably
shouldn't eat anything.

Oh, you're crazy.
This is amazing.

Look, people are sitting down
together, everybody's happy. Hey!

There's a conga line.
Just like...

This is a piece of American history.
It's a human landmark.

It's a shout-out to
the man upstairs to say... Oh!

I smell weed.
Excuse me! I smell weed.

Yeah, it's right this way.
Conga your way to a great time!

Is it good?

This bun is a donut.

It's exactly what
you think a burger

with a donut bun
would taste like.

Mmm!

What did you do?

When?

You know, before,
like, as a living.

I sold insurance.

That's...

- Oh.
- Oh!

- Oh, you're serious.
- Yes, I am.

- Oh.
- Oh!

Okay. How does...
How does somebody get into that field?

You dare to dream, Penny.

I don't know, you...

I guess you start with all
of your childhood fantasies

of being a fireman

or an athlete or whatever.

And then eventually
reality hits,

and you realize that,
really, all you want

is to have a desk somewhere
with your name on it.

But why insurance?

I didn't like law,

and the economy was
headed in one direction.

I'm the type of person,
I just...

I feel more comfortable
with a safety net.

- Whoops.
- Mmm-hmm.

Yeah.

So, go on.
How do you know a man with a plane?

I don't know him.
I said I knew him.

I know, I know.
I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm just...

I'm just really excited.

Obviously.

... with
the Friendsy's family

It's your very
last birthday

Happy birthday!

There'll never be another

So tell all your
sisters and brothers

It's your very
last birthday

Happy birthday! Ooh!

Okay...

That's... All right.

- Hi, buddy.
- Hi, there.

Can I join in?

Look, I don't
wanna be rude, but...

Oh, God!

Yeah, we should go.
We should go.

Okay. Sorry.

Here's some money.

- Oh!
- All right. Come on, let's go.

All right, see you soon!
Okay, have a good night.

Let's get these off.

They were...

Oh, God.

Dodge,
I want you to be my last.

That's a lot of pressure.

Listen, I...

Sorry, you go first.

I wasn't saying anything.

It's just...

I think I got a little
carried away before with

the mudslides and the orgy,

and, you know, obviously, things
are very complicated right now.

What are you doing?

I just want you
to know that I...

I wasn't trying
to take advantage.

Obviously, you're very young.
What are you, like 30? 31?

- Twenty-eight.
- Oh, God. Oh!

God, you try to be
a good person...

Relax, Dodge. It was...

It was end-of-the-world sex.
It was creature comfort.

- Well...
- If anything, it was my fault.

You didn't do anything.

I think I did some things.

It isn't gonna happen again, I promise.

You've got Olivia,
I've got my family.

You know, we both have
more important places to be.

Just... A little sex.
It was bound to happen,

let's not make
a big deal out of it.

I dated someone
from Camden.

Listen, Penny, it...

I don't understand.

What is he doing?

I guess he's...
Is he trying to pull us over?

Oh, come on.
He can't be serious.

How fast are you going?

Who gives a shit?

Why aren't you
slowing down?

I think we can take him.

Oh. Hey! Hey! Hey!
Slow down!

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

- Slow down! Pull the car over.
- Come on.

Don't you think that he must
have better things to do?

Penny, pull the car over.

Jesus, what's he
gonna do, shoot us?

There's a very real possibility
he could shoot us, yes!

- All right! All right!
- Let's pull it over.

All right! God, but...

But I should warn you,
my dad's ex-military

and he says I have a really
serious problem with authority.

Put that away, please.
Give that.

No, it's all
I've got left

and I'm trying to ration it.
Come on.

What do I do with it?

Oh, just...
Just put it in your mouth.

That was still lit.

Hello, Officer, what
seems to be the problem?

Well, for starters,

you're driving about 15 miles
an hour over the speed limit.

Really? Huh.

I thought I was making
better time than that.

And you know,
you got a tail light out.

- No.
- Yeah.

Also, your plates
expired about a month ago.

Go on.

Um, that's it.
That's everything.

Those three things.

Well, why don't you
write us out

any number of expensive,
time-sensitive tickets,

and we'll be on our way?

I need some identification.

Of course.
My name is Penny,

and this is Dodge.

Hi.

Okay.
License and registration.

Well, you see, that's
where we've got a problem,

because I didn't get a chance
to retrieve my identification

before fleeing my home
during a deadly riot.

However, we were
fortunate enough

to hitch a ride with
a very nice trucker,

who, turns out, had hired a hit
man to assist him in a suicide,

thus bestowing us with this...

This beautiful mode
of transportation.

So, the answer is no, no
license or registration here.

However, given the current
situation with the...

Couldn't you find it
in your heart

to set aside the law
just this once

and let us on our way, so
that I can give my friend here

a fighting chance of
being with the one he loves

before we all reach
our untimely conclusion?

No.

All right.

Oh, excuse me,
do we get a phone call?

No, phones are dead.

Okay.

Have fun.

Oh! Hello?
What are you in for?

Disturbing the peace.

Brilliant.

Well, might as well
get comfortable.

This is as good
a place to die as any.

I ruined your life.

No, you didn't.

Oh, yes, I did.

I ruined my life,
and I took you down with me.

I was a terrible neighbor,
and I'm a...

I'm an awful daughter.

Hey. Hey.

Shh.

Look at him.

Sound asleep in his sandwich board.
You know why?

'Cause he always knew
the end was near.

And he's currently
not surprised.

You are looking at
a vindicated man.

How come you're not
with your family?

I don't really have any.

What do you mean?

My mother passed away,

and my father drove away
a long time ago.

My wife recently ran away, as
fast as any human woman could.

It only took Armageddon
to give her the courage.

Which is ironic, because

being afraid of dying alone is why
I got married in the first place.

Your roommate
was your wife.

My wife was my roommate.

Should have listened
to my mother.

Even after she got sick, she
always made the most sense.

You would have liked her.

She would have
liked you, too.

You think so?

She died alone.

Guess it doesn't
matter now.

How long since
you've seen your dad?

Um...

Twenty-five years?

Twenty-five years? Wow.

Well, don't you have
anything to say to him?

Nothing good.

Well, what about Olivia?

We were together
on and off for ten years.

She wanted to get married.
I didn't pull the trigger.

Somebody else did.

And then I met Linda, and
the rest is almost history.

What did she say,
Olivia, in her letter?

She said she and her
husband had gotten divorced,

and that she had a
6-year-old son named Marcus,

and she asked
about my parents,

and she said she missed me.

You know, garden-variety "end
of the world" mumbo jumbo.

I did ruin your life.

No, you didn't.

I had a really
long head start.

Oh, man,
I don't feel good.

Is that the weed
kicking in?

What does it feel like?

Feels like
I'm falling off a cliff

with a bomb
strapped to my chest.

Well, that could be anything.

Damn it, Wally!

There you go.
Look who's here. Look who's here.

Hey, hey, hey.
Come here.

There you go.

Well, sorry, folks,

but Wally's been taking the
quota pretty serious these days,

and I'm afraid that...

Well, your truck
was impounded.

Is there some place
I can drop you folks?

Uh, Delaware.

Yeah... No.

How far is it to Camden?

No matter where
the impact occurs,

it will create a firestorm
that will wipe out all life.

Thank you!

So how long
were you with this guy?

Total?

Nine months,
plus six more.

How do you know
he's going to be here?

He's always here.

There he is.

Penny.

Hey, Speck.

Oh, my goodness.

I knew
you'd come back.

No, I'm not back. I...

We were just
in the neighborhood.

I haven't seen
this girl in 12 months

and she's just
in the neighborhood.

Lance Corporal James Speck.

Speck, this is Dodge...

Lieutenant Colonel
Dodge Petersen.

Look, we're in
a bit of a pickle,

and I was hoping that
you could help us out.

Helping you out of a pickle
should be my middle name.

Na-hah!

Come on.
Bring your little amigo.

You have to leave
the dog up top.

Mom just vacuumed
the bomb shelter.

Come on,
I'll show you the digs.

Fellas.

Hey.

That's Entertainment.

Sports and Recreation.

And if nature calls...

Hey.

Wow.

As you can see,
we have enough rations

to live down here comfortably
for a good six months.

These walls are 12
inches of pure titanium.

Yeah, I was going to say 11.

Resurfacing
won't be that easy.

The world will need
a strong leader.

Is that a satellite phone?

It is. You want to
call your folks?

What?

Yeah, I was talking
to your dad the other day.

What time is it
across the pond, 1600?

I don't know.

Mum?

It's me.

Yeah, yeah, no, no, no.
I'm fine. We got out.

Uh, me and a friend.

Yeah, he is.

Hi, Dad.

I miss you like crazy.

Tell me everything.
How's the garden? Is everyone there?

Is that Benny?
Yeah, yeah. Put him on.

Oh, you twat.

No. You're mental.

Oh, my God.

Oh, I hear the baby.

Is that my niece?

Yeah.

She sounds beautiful.

What did you name her?

You have a lot of guns
and a lot of potato chips.

Yeah, gotta be safe.

So how long
you known our Penny?

About a week.

Give or take.

So what's your pitch?

My pitch?

'Cause let me tell you
something about that girl.

She may be a romantic
on the outside,

but on the inside
she's all survivor.

And she knows her
best chance of survival

is sitting right here,
and I'm talking about me.

Can we restart civilization without her?

Sure.

But she deserves to be one of the
top quality females in contention.

There's no room
for you, dude.

That's okay.

Got a pretty good lead
on a school desk.

There she is.

Uh, we should go.

I thought
you were staying.

I promised I'd take him
somewhere. Can we...

Can we borrow one
from the fleet?

Are you sure you don't want
a fallout tablet for the road?

That's okay, thanks.

The car's
a loan, Penny.

I want to see it back
here with you in it.

Thank you.

For everything.

I should have
married you.

When?

When you would've said yes.

Dodgy-Dodge.

Keep her out of trouble.

You okay?

They sounded good.

They sounded really good.

My dry cleaner.

Meatball subs
at Zuzu's. Mmm.

Ducks pond
in the summertime.

Mmm, riding the subway.

Oh, you lost me there.
Nobody misses the subway.

No, I did some of my best
people-watching on the subway.

Huh.

How about things that
we are not going to miss?

Like going to the dentist.

Oh! Dr. Hoberman.

Oh, my God. Oh.

Dr. Hoberman.

- That's it.
- Wow.

I cannot tell you how
many hours I spent out here

obsessing
over that window.

Which window?

Right there.

That's a good window.

I don't think
anybody's home.

Oh, come on,
we have to try.

I'll be right here
if you need me.

Nobody's home.

Try the knob.

You know what,
she's definitely not here.

Well, we've driven
all this way

and it has definitely
not been in vain.

You know what?
I think there's a hide-a-key.

Okay, here we...

Go.

You are insane.

Come on.

Looks the same.
Smells the same.

So what are we looking for?

Something with
an address, I guess.

Oh, my God!

What? What?

We have exactly the same
wallpaper in our kitchen!

Don't do that, please.

Isn't that wild?

Aw!

- Oh! Wow.
- Okay.

Oh. Oh, I love this house.

Wow. And I can make
something with this.

I'll go check
the bedrooms.

Yeah, we used to break into
people's houses when we were kids,

me and my brothers.

I mean, we wouldn't
steal anything.

We'd just eat their ice
cream and watch cable.

Then this one time, Benny,

who must've been
about, like, seven,

he took off
all his clothes

and he got onto this old
man's exercise bike...

Um, Penny?

Oh, wow.
How long was I out?

Couple of hours.
Think you needed it.

Well, I've lost a third
of my life to sleep,

what's another
couple of hours?

Can you grab the wine?

Yeah.

Okay,
so explain this to me.

You picked the tomatoes,
you made the sauce.

You went out and
harvested the wheat.

Yes, I harvested the wheat.

That was actually good.

I don't know.
It was the best I could do,

but just imagine a big juicy
ham instead of the canned beets.

Mmm. Perfect.

Aw.

How could anyone
abandon this face?

Look at that little face.

Look, look, he's got
bits of gray in his beard.

Highlights.

What'd you do? Before.

I think you could
say that I dabbled.

How did you learn
to cook like this?

Mmm.

I watched everything my mum
did and did the exact opposite.

My dad had
the real talent,

and my mum was
sort of a cheerleader.

You've never seen
two people more in love.

I think that's the reason
I can never settle

for anything
less than amazing.

You know?
They made it look so easy.

There's a reason that opposites
are supposed to attract.

I'm the result of two
romantics getting together.

I'm totally screwed.

Mmm. I love this song.

I can't believe I nearly
never heard it again.

You know, this was the
first record I ever got.

I stole it from my dad's collection.
Pretended that he didn't know,

and then I'd hear him
whistling it the whole time.

Just to torture me.

Is that how you
got into records?

Yeah, he started it, but...

I don't know, I just...
I love records.

I mean, they're not
for everyone, you know?

You really have to
take care of vinyl.

It's very delicate,
it can get wrecked so easily.

You really have to love it.

Do you hear
how full it sounds?

Now, what you want to buy is a
thicker record. They're more stable.

The grooves in them are
sort of deeper and wider.

You get more detail.

I mean, they're harder to carry
around 'cause they're heavier,

but they're worth it.

You know,
my parents have this...

It's an amazing turntable.
It's vintage, cherry wood Victor 45.

Oh! Perfect tone.
All the original parts.

I can't wait
to hear it again.

So, what else are you going
to do when you go home?

I'm going to...

I'm going to listen
to my mum play piano.

I'm gonna sit
in my dad's garden.

He grows the most ridiculous sunflowers.
They're like 10 feet tall.

I'm going to hang out
with my brothers.

I'm gonna play with
my niece and my nephews.

I'm gonna do all the things
I missed out on for so long.

That sounds great.

It is.

I'm not gonna waste my time
on the wrong person.

I'm not gonna
waste my parents' time

introducing them to
some future stranger.

And no more days spent picking
out what you're gonna wear

for nights that
don't mean anything.

No more wondering whether
you're with the right person,

or if this is the guy that
you're meant to have kids with.

All those
ridiculous questions.

It's liberating.
That's what it is.

Maybe you just haven't
met the right guy.

You're a really nice person.

You are an awful
judge of character.

I'm gonna fix that.

Okay.

What do you think
Sorry would like to do?

I don't know.
Lay in the sun somewhere.

We could look
for a Frisbee.

Or I could set up
a squirrel hunt.

Do you think he's horny?

Oh, yes, I think he is
definitely girl-crazy.

Maybe he wants
to find his owner.

You know,
abandonment issues?

You know what?
Maybe we're enough for him.

I don't know,
he seems comfortable.

What is it?

It has a return address.

Is it close?

Yeah, it's pretty close.

That's great.

So, uh...

We'll go
first thing tomorrow.

Okay.

Okay.

Uh, should I, um...

Should I disappear?

No, stay here in the car.

What happened?

What's happening?

Was she home?

Yeah, I think so.

Did you knock?
Why are we driving away?

I wrote her a letter. I put it on her door.
She should get it soon.

You wrote her a letter?
Well, what did it say?

It just...
It doesn't matter.

I don't understand. Why don't you
want to see her? What's happened?

We really can't
talk about this, Penny.

Why not?

Because I don't want it
to change anything.

Change what?

You have somewhere
you need to be.

And what about you?
What's changed?

Dodge!

You're not taking
this very seriously.

No, it's very good.

Wait. Keep practicing.

Hey!

Where are we?

Come on.

Who's there?

Frank?

Hi, Frank.

Dodge.

Is it a bad time?

Why, no. No, of course not.
Come in. Please, come in.

Thank you.

Dodger!

I can't believe it.
You're here,

you're really here.
Who's your friend?

This is Penny.

- Penny, this is Frank.
- Hi.

Hi. I'm his father.

Oh! Oh, it's lovely
to meet you.

You, too!

Welcome.
Well, you must be hungry or something.

Actually, I was hoping that
I could talk to you for a minute.

Sure. Uh, go right
in there. Go ahead.

Is there a restroom?

Yeah, right at the top
of the stairs. Here.

- There you are.
- Thank you.

Top of the steps on your left.
There you go.

- What's the dog's name?
- Sorry.

- What?
- Sorry?

She your girlfriend?

I don't know.

She should be.

Did we get old or what?

So you're here to tell me
all the things I did wrong?

No, you know all the
things you did wrong.

I came here to
ask you something.

I know I could have
handled things differently.

I don't want
to talk about it.

You know, your mother
didn't make it any easier...

Don't. Don't say
another word about her.

We were so young
when you were born...

And now you're not,
and neither am I.

And we had our whole
lives to figure it out.

I'm just trying
to say I'm sorry.

Well, just say it, then.

I'm sorry.

Now what?

I don't know.
You were the one with the question.

I guess I just
couldn't believe

you didn't wanna see
your old man again.

Your mother wouldn't
take my calls,

she ripped up all my
cards and letters to you,

but, you know, I figured
when you got older...

Not that it was
on you, no, no.

No, I did that.

I know I lost all my
privileges when I left.

You know,
when you were a baby,

she used to hold you
so tight sometimes,

I thought you
couldn't breathe.

Um...

Maybe that was just me.

I really am sorry.

It doesn't matter anymore.

We're in the same place now.

Well, I know I wasn't
there for you back then.

It's not too late.

May I propose a toast?

Please.

To the beginning
of the world.

It's a good one, that.

Such a good
cheap wine.

You are the love of my life.

Elsa, what are you
doing here?

It is Thursday.

Are you
shitting me, Elsa? Seriously?

Go home. Just be with your family,
or do anything else.

I'm serious.
You... Leave. Please.

It's just that...
You don't... It's not...

I'm sorry.
I just... I'm not trying...

Never mind.

See you next week,
Mr. Dodge?

Okay.

Ah!

Bye, Elsa.

More Windose!

More Windose.

Matilda will be arriving
one week ahead of schedule.

The point of contact
is 16 hours, 26 minutes away,

so be sure to
mark your calendars.

Also, a friendly reminder

to set your clocks ahead
for daylight savings time.

Spring forward.
That's one hour ahead.

On a personal note,
this is my final broadcast.

Our final broadcast.

On behalf of myself,
producer Bruce Hammond,

and everyone here
at the network,

we bid you all
a fond farewell.

It has been my pleasure to bring
you the news for the past 27 years.

Tonight, I'll be sitting across the
dinner table from my wife, Helen,

and we'll be talking about
our sons, Henry and Paul.

And we'll be saying our prayers
for each and every one of you.

Good night, good luck,
and God bless.

Hey, what is it?

How could you let me go?

I don't know.
It was so stupid.

I woke up.

I made him turn around.

I don't want to
fall asleep, okay?

Don't let me fall asleep.
Promise.

I promise.

What about
your parents?

They're romantics,
they understand.

Besides,
they've got each other.

I just want to be with you.

And I want to be with you.

I couldn't live without you.
No matter how long.

What do we do now?

I just want to lay here with you.
Just want to talk to you.

What are we
gonna talk about?

Where'd you grow up?

Well, I was born in Surrey.

I know.

My whole family
are from there.

Mmm.

My mum was a journalist
before she married my dad.

They never fought.
Or at least we never heard them fight.

Charlie's the oldest,
then Benny, then me.

We had a sister, but she
died when she was born.

I still think about her.

Oh, God!

What was her name?
What was your sister's name?

Um... Patricia.

Patricia Hope Lockhart.

That's beautiful.
That's a beautiful name.

I wish I'd met you
a long time ago.

When we were kids.

It couldn't have happened any other way.
It had to happen now.

But it isn't enough time.

It never would have been.

- I'm scared.
- I...

Am madly in love
with you, Penny.

You're my favorite,
favorite thing.

I thought that somehow
we'd save each other.

We did.

Penny...

I'm really glad
I got to know you.