Scrapple (1998) - full transcript
Small time drug dealer Al Dean (Geoffrey Hanson) sells pot to his friends in the small Colorado ski town of Ajax, in hopes of raising enough money to buy a house for himself and his brother, who is in the VA hospital. He will finally be able to afford the house once his shipment of "Nepalese Temple Balls" comes in. When they finally arrive, a pig named Scrapple, which was procured at a pig chase, eats the hash balls and Al finds himself drawn into a big time drug deal in order to purchase the house.
(cheerful bluegrass music)
♫ Lady in a turban in a cocaine tree
♫ She does that dance so rhythmically
♫ Cryin' and a singin'
♫ And havin' a time
♫ And don't that cocaine tree look fine
♫ But you gotta put on your sailin' shoes
♫ Gotta put on your sailin' shoes
♫ Everyone will start to cheer
♫ When you put on your sailin' shoes
♫ Jedidiah he got a dime
♫ And he'll catch more fish every time
♫ Well I've got a line
and you've got a pole
♫ I said I'll meet you at the fishing hole
♫ But you gotta put on your sailin' shoes
♫ Gotta put on your sailin' shoes
♫ Everyone will hip hooray
♫ When you put on your sailin' shoes
- [Announcer] Dr. Ovorsky, Dr. Ovorsky,
please come to ward four.
(tinkling piano music)
- I thought you were gonna
get me out of this place.
- I'm buying us a house.
Brian you're gonna love it.
It's on Spruce Street,
right in the middle of town.
Two bedrooms, one for you
downstairs, one for me upstairs.
Beautiful porch for you to
watch the skiers coming down.
- How long have I been hearing that Al?
Let me tell you a secret.
You don't buy houses you paint 'em.
You and your stoned out, ski bum friends,
you're totally out of touch with reality.
How are you gonna get
the money to buy a house?
(upbeat drumming music)
♫ Really love the rain
♫ Against the window
♫ Bringing back sweeter memories
♫ I feel a pain when I remember
♫ How sweet it used to be
♫ When we were together
♫ Everything was so grand
♫ Now that we're talking
♫ If there's one shot, I
got to show, I got to say
♫ I really love the rain
♫ Against the window
♫ But you're never here with me
♫ I feel a pain when I remember
♫ What a thrill it used to be
♫ Remember those feelings.
- Sunshine.
- Al Dean.
Got somethin' for me?
For fingered lift, alright.
Here you go.
- If you like this stuff,
you're not gonna believe
what I got comin' in.
My friend Lonnie, I told
you about Lonnie right?
- His father's an ambassador right?
- Diplomatic immunity, comes
through customs unchecked.
He's gonna score me, get
this, Nepalese temple balls.
- Shut up.
- I am serious man.
It's got the monastery's
insignia right there on it
so you know it's the real thing.
- Far out.
- These monks, picture this,
they live at 18,000 feet
right there in the
shadows of Mount Everest.
What they do is they take
the shake in marijuana plants
and they chew on it while they meditate.
They're up there, they're
invoking the spirits,
they're working that
keef into a gummy ball.
They they take the gummy
ball, mix it with opium
and they get these temple balls.
- Cool.
- Then they take them out and trade them
with other monasteries for chickens, pigs,
indoor plumbing, I dunno,
what ever else they need.
- Can you eat 'em?
- You're mowing my lawn.
- What happens when you eat 'em?
- Temple balls!
- I like eatin' 'em.
- This stuff is the nectar of the gods.
Guaranteed to improve your karma.
One hit of this stuff
and boom, you're blessed.
And I need all the help
I can get with that shit.
- Howdy people, how are you doing today?
(cheering)
Everybody having a good time?
(cheering)
Let's get to the pig chase.
You know the rules.
First person to catch the little piggy
can either take home $50 or the porker.
Contestants, are you ready?
Catch that pig!
(upbeat banjo music)
(crowd cheering)
We have our winner.
(crowd cheering loudly)
What's your name darlin'?
- Errol McNamara.
- Errol.
- [Crowd Chanting] Errol,
Errol, Errol, Errol, Errol.
- What's it gonna be, the pig or $50?
- [Crowd Chanting] Pig,
pig, pig, pig, pig, pig.
(upbeat blues music)
♫ Further on down the road baby
♫ You'll accompany me
♫ Oh darlin'
♫ Further on down the road baby
♫ You'll accompany me
♫ Oh
- Did I see you waitressing
at the Pick Beth?
- Yeah I started working there.
- Thought you were moving to San Fran?
- No, I put that on hold.
- You're not waiting over Tom?
- Girl he was out of his
mind when Woody died.
(upbeat blues music)
- I wonder how he's doing now?
- There is no question that
Ajax has all the ingredients
to make us the destination
resort in North America.
I know it's hard to get to,
but it's part of our charm.
The airport?
We've gathered all the
signatures, filed the petition,
it's on the ballot.
The voters are gonna
approve it in November.
It's a done deal.
(video game beeping)
This is definitely our year.
We'll be flying jets in
here before you know it.
Say hi to Joan for me and you will be
hearing from me in the
middle of next week.
Bing fucking go.
Phil?
Phil?
How are we doin' on the signatures?
- [Phil] About a hundred shy.
- What are we doing in here?
- [Phil] Reloading?
- Very good.
Load, reload, sell, resell.
Now put the gun down and
get out on the street
and get us on the ballot so
we can make some real money.
(phone ringing)
Kurt Hinney, Summit Development.
Hello?
Oh Victor.
I closed on Thursday.
Oh it's great.
Two acres.
Pristine mesa land.
And the views are amazing.
Sure.
It's zone commercial and residential.
You know it.
Well I'm glad it worked out for you Vick.
Let's keep in touch.
(harmonica music)
(crowd chattering)
- But it works.
- Down through Upper Chicken Gobbler,
down through Lower Gobbler
and then drop the big.
- It's about time.
- You dropped all these 714's,
I was luded out of my head.
Sunshine ragin', ride
that wave, ride that wave.
I was laughing so hard, I
almost wet my panties man.
- [Man] So what happened to you yesterday?
I was waiting around for half
an hour down at the retreat.
- Hey big daddy, hey buddy come here,
I got something for you.
(blender whirring)
- Hey Beth.
- Hey Al Dean.
- How're you doing sug?
- Doing good, I gotta go to work though.
- Where are you going?
- I gotta go to work.
- You just got here.
- I know.
Come by and see me at the Pick.
- I'll come by and see ya.
- Okay.
- [Radio] You know it's a winner.
Peter Polk earned a lifetime
supply of Werner Wiener Dogs
in game six of last year's
Beaver Pelt Championship Series.
Let's go to my now historic call.
- Polk now steps up to the plate against
the oh so intimidated Charlie Burke.
Polk already with three
round triples on the evening,
what could he possibly do for an encore?
Burke sets, he delivers, Polk
though with a monster strike.
It's deep, it could be, you
can call that ball a Hindu
'cause it is Gandhi.
Grizzlies, gonna repeat.
- Not if the Wool Socks can help it.
- Easy.
- Al Dean.
Errol, you shifty little Aussie.
- Ah Easy.
What the hell happened to you?
- Long story.
It's all good though.
Rito, what happened to you man?
- Wailed on my ankle in a mushroom grove.
- [Tom] Ouch.
- Tell me about it.
- Hey Tommy, you wanna beer man?
- Yeah man.
Whoa, what's up with the pig?
- Errol won Porky
yesterday at the pig chase.
Thinks we're gonna keep
him for the summer.
- Bloody yes we are.
I'm gonna build him a pen,
fatten him up for the summer,
and have a roast in the fall.
- I really don't see why we want a pig.
- Sacrifice him to Pan and Bacchus.
- Sacrifice him to Ullr.
- [All] Praise Ullr.
- There is no way in hell
that I am living with
a pig for the summer.
- [Errol] After Woody's funeral,
we all thought you were gone for good.
- Just had to split Mac.
I didn't know where I was goin', but.
- Hey, no need to explain.
Truth be known I was bloody bent.
You could've at least dropped me a line.
Anyway, you picked a good season to leave.
There's been bugger all snow
until the last couple of weeks.
So you think you're gonna stick around?
- Really just came back
to pack up my stuff
and put it in storage.
- Come on mate, you should
stay for the summer.
Listen, you can have your
old room back if you want it.
Why don't you think about it.
Listen I gotta hit the sack.
I'm tending bar at the Pick this summer.
- Alright man.
- Hey Sully, it's good
to have you back mate.
(pig snorting)
(distant whistling)
- He's so cute.
What are you gonna name him?
- How about Floyd man?
- You can't name the pig Floyd.
The Poxy sisters named their pig Floyd.
- Hey did you guys know
that Pigs have made
important contributions
to American literature?
Pigs love to drink, that's
probably the reason I like 'em.
In fact pigs are the only
animals that would drink enough
to be classified as an alcoholic.
- Tom, whatcha doing this weekend?
- Nothing much.
You wanna do something?
- Well I was thinking of going climbing.
- Where?
- How about the Van Winkle Wall?
- What are you trying to make me look bad?
I'm not in climbing shape.
- Sure you are.
Come on, it'll be fun.
- Yeah sure.
- But of course uh, Orwell
might be appropriate
in honor of George and
his pigs from Animal Farm.
Remember Napoleon had that great line.
"All animals are created equal,
"some are more equal than others."
I love that one.
How about you Beth, any ideas for a name?
- Hmm.
How about Hud?
Hud won a pig.
- How about Scrapple?
- Scrapple?
What the hell is scrapple?
- Exactly.
- Oh I've had scrapple before.
My mom used to give it to
us as kids, absolutely foul.
You think you're biting
into sausage, and it is not.
- But what's in it?
- Nobody really knows
what's in scrapple man?
- Come on people.
You Yanks invented the crap.
I had scrapple when I was
hitching through Pennsylvania.
It's like a cornmeal mash
and the meat and broth of the pork.
Season it with onions, a
little salt and pepper,
shape it into a loaf,
spice it up, and fry it.
It's as gross as head cheese.
- Cool.
- Sit Scrapple, sit.
Good piggy.
(cheerful country music)
♫ I ain't high on cocaine,
I don't need the pain
♫ It's bad for your brain and that's true.
♫ I ain't droppin' no names,
I aint' playin' no games
♫ I'm just one step ahead of the blues
♫ One step ahead of the blues
♫ From Memphis to Reno,
from New York to Tokyo
♫ I tried to come through for you
♫ I won't do you in, I
ain't no fair weather friend
♫ I'm just one step ahead of the blues
♫ One step ahead of the blues.
- Man I'm either having a long
term loss of my short term
memory, or short term loss
of my long term memory.
Trouble is, I can't remember man.
- Mercury's in retrograde.
- So that's my problem?
- It's all of our problems.
Nobody's safe.
- Painter Pedro.
- Hey what's the scene Al Dean.
- Your radio show the
other day was solid man.
- Turn it up or turn it off.
- You remember Easy?
- Easy, how's it going bro?
- Good man.
- Hey I'm trying to convince him
to stick around for the summer.
We're looking for somebody right?
- Hey we're always looking for someone.
Never been busier.
Drop on by the job site
Monday, we'll fix ya up.
- Great.
- Hey is that Errol's pig?
- Yeah, Scrapple.
- Alright, cute little booger.
- Have a good one Pedro.
♫ Even with the curves,
son it could be worse
♫ I've been one step ahead of the blues
♫ One step ahead of the blues
♫ One step ahead of the blues
♫ One step ahead of the blues
(police radio chatter)
(police siren blaring)
- Another package?
You must feel awful loved son.
Let's say we take a peak,
see what's in there?
- You can't do that.
- I can do anything I want to.
14 packages in the last three
months and no return address.
Now let's see what's in the package.
- I know I got rights.
- Look, we can open it
now, or I can take you
and your hippy friend down to the station
and we'll take a look at it there.
- It's got nothing to do with him.
He's just giving me a ride.
- It's in his vehicle.
What's it gonna be?
- You open it.
(glass clinking)
You broke it!
It's for my brother.
He's in a VA hospital.
Is that legal?
Why don't you stop hassling me man.
- I've been working on my own stuff.
Got a few solo gigs planned.
- Right on, where?
- The Pick mostly.
- Far out.
- Not for a couple weeks though.
You sticking around?
- I wasn't planning on it.
But I could sure use to
make some bread yanno?
- Where would you go if you left?
- I dunno, back east probably.
I'm not sure really.
I mean I could always go
to to work for the family.
The problem is, is I
can't stand the family.
- I'd like you to stay.
I mean, if that makes any difference.
- I'll see what happens with Pedro.
(upbeat music)
- Yeah, yeah so my
friends, they spend the day
hanging out, kicking this bag around.
I dunno, it's about the
size of a golf ball.
Yeah full of beads.
Well no, there is no point.
Nobody wins or loses or
anything, it's communism.
Yeah.
Well I guess the point is to
keep this thing in the air,
all day long.
Really.
Well I'm thinkin' we can make these things
for a nickel a piece in
Honduras or something.
Yeah, sell 'em for a buck.
Oh at least.
Well think about it.
Yeah I gotta go.
Love you too Dad, bye.
- [Al] How's it going?
- Not much.
- How's the land pimpin' racket?
Sell any dirt today.
- Actually somebody came in yesterday
asking about your place.
They just want the lot though,
they're gonna bulldoze that eye sore.
- Good one.
- Yeah, so, how are
things with your brother?
- I dunno.
Pretty good I guess.
They moved him out to a
place in Prescott so at least
he's closer but, it'd be a
lot better if he were here.
- How's my house on Spruce doing?
- Well it might not be yours
if you don't make an offer soon.
A couple came in just this morning
ready to start the paperwork.
- What are they offering?
- 35.
I don't think they're gonna
take it, they want 50.
But you need $7,500 to
make a bid yourself.
- Kurt doesn't know I'm
interested, does he?
- Let's do this ourselves.
Can you get the dough?
- Close.
I'm gonna get it though.
- That a way Al, have a little vision.
- It's not the vision part
of this equation I'm having
a problem with, it's the
reality that's trippin' me up.
- Yeah, but you know the thin line
between vision and reality, that's belief.
- You are scaring me man.
You're not buying into Kurt's
pseudo sales is life philosophy, are ya?
Besides, $7500 is not a thin line.
$7500 is a big old fat line.
(sniffing)
- Phil, don't you have some business
to take care of on the street?
- Yeah, on my way.
Hey Kurt do you know Al Dean?
- Of course I do, he painted
my house last summer.
- Right.
- Hey Al, can I speak to you a moment?
You got a minute?
- Yeah sure.
So what's going on?
- You know Toots right?
- Sure I know Toots.
He split town didn't he?
- Yes he did.
- And?
- And I'm lookin' for
someone to replace him.
You interested?
- Selling whiff?
- I've seen you operate Al,
you're strictly small time.
You could make a lot of
money working for me.
- Not my thing.
- Maybe you need to decide
what your thing is Al.
Risk reward ratio.
The bigger the risk,
the bigger the reward.
Sure you can keep selling $20 lids,
but where's it gonna get ya?
- Look Kurt, I'm doing
pretty good on my own.
Is this what you brought me in here for?
- You'd be stupid not to think about it.
(blues guitar music)
- You want some?
It's that killer weed Al gave you.
(pig snorting)
- Sexual attraction last four years tops.
How are you gonna spend your whole life
with someone you're not even attracted to.
- What have you been
reading Cosmo again Al?
- There's that Mars and
Sag in the fifth house.
A lover with a temper.
- You have any idea what
she's talking about?
- Not a clue.
- Um two more beers.
- [Errol] Okay, you got it.
- Hey Tom, how're ya doin'?
- Hey Easy.
- Al Dean.
You got any pot man?
- Whoa, Tom, try to be cool.
- Nah I wanna get ripped.
Can you score me some grass?
- You need to shut your trap Tommy.
- No, you remember that bag of weed
you sold me back in November?
- What is your problem man?
- That was really killer weed man.
- Well I'm glad.
- You're glad!?
- You guys, come on, come on, come on.
- You're glad!?
He's glad.
Did you hear that?
He's glad.
- Take my table.
- Yeah.
- What was that all about?
- I gave him that bag.
(slow banjo music)
(cheerful guitar music)
(loud slurping)
(pig snorting)
- Fourth of July today Scraps.
Temple balls are finally comin' in.
Gonna put me over the top.
What do you think of that?
(mellow guitar music)
- You were really messed
up the other night.
- I bricked.
- Yes you did.
- Hey thanks for taking care of me.
- Well you needed taking care of.
- I know.
So you excited about tonight?
- I dunno.
- Why not?
You're gonna be great.
What?
- Well I'm just a little nervous.
- Don't be.
- Are you gonna be there?
- Of course.
Why don't you play me something right now.
- No, uh uh, no.
- Come on Beth, come on.
- No.
- Come on.
(laughing)
- Okay, okay.
Okay, um.
What do you wanna hear?
- [Tom] I dunno.
What's your favorite song
you've written in the last six months?
(mellow guitar music)
♫ Rain comes down
♫ It's never gonna stop no, no
♫ I hear the ticking of the pine
♫ Well I'm moving down
♫ This dusty road
♫ The cold winds they are
blowing through my hair
♫ And I'm miles from my home
♫ I know this highway,
I'm sure I know it well
- So after mom died, I said to myself,
Errol life is just way to short to end up
at 60 with a gold watch and a pension.
Headed out looking for nirvana.
- This might not be it, but
the backyard's not to bad eh?
Can I get you something?
- Scotch on the rocks and do me well.
♫ But tonight I'm a
soul like a burning fire
- Say uh, you wouldn't happen
to know a Kurt Hinney would ya?
- Well the thing about Ajax
is, it's a nice quiet town.
We all live here together
alone minding our own business.
But uh, I think you might
find him back in the bathroom.
- Much obliged.
- Thank you.
(giggling and sniffing)
- See you back at the bar.
- Okie dokie.
- Well, excuse me.
Kurt Hinney?
- Yeah, and you're?
- Cy Sloan from Aspen.
- Oh my old stomping ground.
- Yes, that's what I understand.
Glen Fisher told me to look you up.
Said you were the king of Ajax.
Interested in some real estate.
- Oh really, what are you interested in?
- Mesa land.
- Who in the hell are you?
- I told you, Glen wanted me to see you.
I manage his club.
- Oh he did, did he?
I'm not really sure
what you want right now,
but I'm kinda busy.
If you wanna talk business,
you can come by my office.
Summit Development.
- [Radio] Sparky Styles on
in relief for the Grizzlies.
His wife, Sharon, is a pretty fine golfer.
- [Tom] Hey man I owe you an apology.
I was way out of line at
the Pick the other night.
- No need to apologize.
I know you're going
through some heavy shit.
What I wanna know is if you and Beth
went to the horizontal disco.
- I'm not trying to get on Beth.
- She is flush man.
- There's no doubt about that.
- And she's definitely into you.
- I don't think so man, we're buds.
Hey, Socks win last night?
- Yeah they won in the 10th.
Marsh went three for
four with two dingers.
- On a tear man.
Just wait 'til the wind starts
blowing out of Tubs Field.
- Socks are just like you
whiskey boy, can't keep it up.
- Guys wanna break for lunch?
- [Al] No you go ahead,
we'll catch you later.
- Alright, catch ya later.
- Philly Brandel's been comin'
by the house lookin' for ya.
What you got going?
- Trying to score a place.
- You don't have any money.
- I got a lot of irons in the fire.
- Selling bags?
- Look mister I was way out of line,
I don't wanna talk about it.
- I wanna talk about it.
- Well I don't like
hearing about it from you
and you don't like
hearing about it from me,
so let's just drop it right.
- What do you think you're gonna do,
nickel and dime your way into a house?
- I'm not just gonna buy
the blueprint for life Tom.
I'm trying to get some money together
so I can do my own thing.
- Yeah, pushing drugs.
- Selling lids of grass
does not make me a pusher.
I get a bag and it's gone in two days.
- Listen to yourself.
What does it make you then?
- It's not like I'm mixing up sopa's
in our bathtub or anything.
I mean, it's grass, it's harmless.
- Harmless?
What if you get busted?
Who's gonna take care of your brother?
- Who's taking care of him now?
Why don't you stop laying
your head trips on me alright Sully?
- So what are you in the market for?
- I was thinkin' five ki's.
- You can move that much?
- Oh yeah, it's not a problem.
If Aspen runs dry, I got contacts
in the Butte, Telluride,
all over the place.
You can get me the five?
- That's a lot of shit amigo.
These things take time.
Half the money up front,
the other half upon
delivery, no exceptions.
- I can work with that.
(tape voices rewinding swiftly)
- [Kurt] You can move that much?
Half the money up front,
the other half upon
delivery, no exceptions.
- Captain Colorado.
- Research Lewis, research.
(upbeat marching band music)
- Eight Ball.
What you got for me?
- These are from Lonnie.
There's more where this came from.
- About time.
I paid that guy six months ago for these.
- Hey they're well worth the wait.
- Are you sure?
I mean there's no symbol
from the monastery on them.
- [Lonnie] Hey it's the real shit daddy.
- Alright.
Thanks Eight Ball.
(bluegrass music)
- Summit Mountain Studios.
Okay get this, we're talking
a major recording studio
adjacent to an airport,
atop pristine mesa land.
James Taylor, Taj Mahal, I
know 'em, they wanna do it.
There is no question that
Ajax has all the ingredients
to make us the destination
resort in North America.
Juerta, Klauss.
- Kurt.
Are you okay?
- Yeah I'm cool.
- So who's the customer?
- He's an old friend from Aspen.
He owns the Purple Rose.
Eagles, Buffet, Dirt
Band, they all play there.
- God you're such a star fucker.
So why does he want so
much all of the sudden?
- He's afraid we're done, I
told him about the airport.
Let's do this.
- Well I've got quite a
bit sitting in Mexico.
We could fly it in below
radar at night into Dallas,
right Juerta?
Run it right up here.
Who's gonna make the pickup?
- I'll take care of it.
I've never let you down Klauss.
- You feel good about this?
- Five ki's?
I feel fucking great
about this Klauss, great.
- We might be able to make this work.
I'm gonna need some time
though to set it up.
- Perfect.
- So?
- What?
- You got something for me?
- Oh.
- Yeah.
This little strip has been good to us.
- This airport's gonna
keep being good to me.
Could be good for you too Klauss.
I need some capitol to
close on some big deals.
Why don't you come in with me?
- Real estate?
Juerta lets go.
- [Radio] A loss today by the
Grizzly Bears would put them
14 games back of the
league leading Wool Socks
halfway through the season.
- Did you here what Martin
William said last night?
Someone asked him if he thought that
the Grizzlie's could catch the Wool Socks.
You know what he said?
He said, there ain't
no sense worrying about
things you can't control.
'Cause if you can't control 'em,
there ain't no sense worrying about 'em.
Is that beautiful or what?
You're probably a Socks fan huh Scraps?
Feelin' pretty confident.
Well let me tell you somethin',
Socks don't have pitching.
Pitching wins championships.
This has got the best farm
league in the country.
Lou Lincoln was a Grizz.
Bet you didn't know that.
- Phil, life is not a popularity
contest, so get over it
because a positive mental attitude.
- Equals other people's money.
And that money in your pocket is mine
and I just gotta find a way to get it.
- There you go Phil.
I'm glad you appreciate those
nuggets I throw your way.
Any walk-in traffic today?
- None.
- Anything else?
- Well yeah, actually I
was wondering if you had
any activity on the Mahoney
house over on Spruce?
- There's a $40,000 offer on the table.
I think Mahoney's gonna bite.
Why?
- Well Al Dean's been eyeing
it and you know his brother
got all messed up in Vietnam
and is in a VA hospital.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you're breaking my heart.
What's the point?
- Look I'm trying to help him out.
He's having a tough time
getting a loan and I thought,
you know, maybe we could come up
with some creative financing or something.
- Yeah I think I might
be able to help him out.
Tell him to come out to
my house this weekend,
I've got some great financial sources.
- Oh that would mean a lot.
Thanks Kurt.
- That's our business Phil,
making dreams come true.
- Right.
- It ain't natural, that's all I'm saying.
(old time piano music)
Yes.
- [Errol] Al Dean, you couldn't
hit the broadside of a barn.
- And look at monkeys.
They're the closest
species to humans right?
Let me tell you somethin',
monkeys are not monotonous.
You see, each male monkey
wants to bang whatever he can.
And the female monkeys only
wanna bang the strongest
male monkey because they want
their babies to be strong.
The weak, nerdy, lame
monkeys, they never get laid.
But the alpha monkey gets
to nail whoever he wants
because all the babe monkeys
want his super sperm.
- [Errol] Pitch the ball already.
Yeah like that Al Dean,
except over the plate.
- A little Charles Darwin
there, survival of the fittest.
- And that is why the monkeys
fight so hard to be the
alpha monkey, because only the
alpha monkey gets any booty.
- [Errol] You go Al Dean, stick it to 'em.
- Wait, what do the other monkeys do?
- They indulge themselves.
- Shut up.
- Why do you think they
call it spankin' the monkey?
- Monkey love my ass.
Listen, I hate to break
it to you, you wanker,
but we're mammals that
adapted to life on land.
- So what's your point Errol?
- My point is that we're more
like dolphins than monkeys.
- Dolphins?
- Dolphins.
Dolphins are mammals.
Am I right?
They breathe in air,
drink their mothers milk.
- They do?
- Yeah.
Uh look at our skin, we have skin not fur.
Am I right?
- Yeah he's right.
- People are born with webbed
appendages all the time.
Next time you're looking in a mirror
look at the similarity
between your ugly schnozz
and a dolphin's blowhole.
What else?
Oh saline content in the womb
is exactly that of the ocean.
- Errol you're changing the subject.
- Hang on a second.
I'm not finished yet.
But perhaps most important,
and most relevant to
this conversation, dolphins
are monogamous, is the word,
not monotonous dickwad, and
they're known to mate for life.
So you go ahead and pork
like King Kong if you want,
I'm gonna go swim with
my little friend Flipper.
(laughing)
- Dolphins are mammals?
Dolphins are mammals?
- Errol, I mean wolves
and loons are monogamous.
But dolphins?
- Listen mate, if there is one
thing I learned on walkabout
it's that you should never let the truth
get in the way of a good story.
- Amen brother.
- Oh uh, Kurt wants to talk to you.
- Why?
- Well I set up a meeting
about the house on Spruce.
- Ah man.
I thought we agreed
not to go through Kurt?
- Come on look alive, you
guys could've had that.
- Look Al, the clock's ticking.
The Mahoneys want out and they're
considering a $40,000 bid.
- You know how I feel about Kurt man.
- Yeah, but he thinks he can help you.
- Yeah I bet he does.
- Look just go by his house.
Sorry.
- I gotta to his house now?
- Yeah just to, you're
being obtuse about this.
Obtuse, ridic, look do
you want the house or not?
Alright go, don't go,
it's up to, just whatever.
- Three outs.
(serene music)
- I had a lot of fun today.
- Yeah so did I.
I should probably go, huh?
- Why don't you stay?
(upbeat bluegrass music)
♫ Love ya mama now you know I can
♫ Be the one to be your man
♫ Love ya mama now you know I'd do
♫ Anything in the world for you
♫ To have lovin' in my baby's eyes
♫ To see the lovin' in my baby's eyes
♫ To see the loving in my baby's eyes
♫ Lovin' in my baby's eyes
♫ Love ya mama now you know I can
♫ Love ya better than another man can
♫ Love ya mama now you know I'd do
♫ Anything in the world for you
♫ To have lovin' in my baby's eyes
♫ To see lovin' in my baby's eyes
♫ To have loving in my baby's eyes
♫ Lovin' in my baby's eyes
♫ To have magic in my baby's eyes
♫ To have lovin' in my baby's eyes
♫ To see the lovin' in my baby's eyes
- Tom?
Tom?
- Woody?
- What are you thinkin' about?
- You.
- Oh, bad timing.
- [Radio] So the bases are
stacked here in the seventh,
the game tied four a piece, only one out.
If the Socks cannot hold
onto this they will leave
the door open for the
Grizzly Bears to take
a four game lead with only
two weeks left in the season.
Here's the payoff pitch to Chris Samuels.
- Hey Mac, two more.
- [Errol] Two?
Gotcha.
- Grizzlies have won six
straight against the Socks.
They are choking like a
bunch of rookie pole smokers.
- You're killin' me.
- Fraum couldn't catch 'em now.
- I mean you know they're
gonna face each other
in the Beaver Pelt Series again.
- And the Socks are going down.
(pig snorting)
(groovy music)
(loud crunching)
(helicopter blades whirring)
(odd tinkling music)
(bells ringing)
(engine revving)
- [Al] Oh no.
- [Tom] Look at this place.
- [Al] Please no.
Oh my god.
(laughing)
Oh god.
Oh man.
(screaming)
- [Sunshine] What's going on with Tom?
- I dunno.
We got together about two weeks ago
and we haven't talked since.
- Typical.
I dunno I mean, I think
he's bringing you down.
You outta dump him.
I mean I love Easy, I do.
But he's obviously got some
serious shit to work through.
- I say you stick it out.
His Sun, Venus, and Mercury
are all in the seventh house
so relationships are in
the forefront for him.
He's got his Mars and his
moon in the 12th house,
so he doesn't know what he wants.
He just needs some time, sister.
- I'm afraid he's going a number on you.
I say fuck him.
He'll come crawling back.
Check this one out babe.
- [Beth] Al Dean will love that.
- He's a Leo, those are his colors.
- Phil's not here.
- [Al] I'm not here to see Phil.
- Is that so?
- [Al] What's going on
with the Spruce house?
- The Mahoneys are ready to move.
- [Al] Well then so am I.
- Let's talk business.
- [Al] What do I gotta do?
- One pick up, one drop off.
(police radio chatter)
(knocking on door)
- [Sheriff] Hey, anybody home?
Stinkin' hippies.
(groovy music)
(odd laughter)
- [Errol] Hey Beth, you wanna see
if that sap around the corner's hungry?
- Hi.
- So you wanna order?
- Yeah lemme look.
So what've you been doin'?
- Not much.
You?
- Been on a bad head trip.
- Well it's just been
a joyride for me Tom.
- Look, I've been an asshole.
- You said it.
- Beth I'm sorry.
- Don't be.
- Look I was wondering.
Wanna go to the hot springs this weekend?
- I can't, I got a gig Saturday.
- How about Friday?
Come on, when was the last
time you got out of the valley?
- Well I was gonna go climbing.
- With who?
- Paul.
What I can't go climbing?
I'm supposed to sit around and
wait while you blow me off?
- I haven't been.
No that's fine, obviously.
So how about after?
- Um I dunno I think, I think
Paul might wanna nail me.
I'm kidding.
Look, let me think about it okay?
So you wanna order?
- I already ate.
- Scrapple.
Having consumed 22 Nepalese temple balls,
I now declare you the Dalai pig Lama.
- Resurrected after a most fitful slumber.
- The dharma pig has risen.
- Hey maybe we should keep
him through the winter.
- Are you kidding me?
Deano's been ready to kill porky here
since Scraps ate his cash and his stash.
This little piggy's going to market.
Aren't you buddy?
Living on borrowed time.
- Yeah but do we have to eat her?
I mean I feel more comfortable not being
on a first name basis with my dinner.
- Oh come on Sully, we
eat meat all the time.
Now you're just seeing
where it comes from.
- I know that, I'd just rather
not meet the meat I eat.
- Hey Sully.
Maybe you should take
him to the spirit world?
- The canyons?
- I got some shrooms.
The way I see it, Scraps
was probably some wise sage
in his last life, so he's
just being tested in this one.
He's in a transition period is all.
- Oh no.
- What?
- Fucked up.
- What?
- I'm supposed to go to the
hot springs with Beth today.
- Oh she is gonna be dark on you.
You wanna turn back?
- I can't believe that.
By the time we get back.
Hey pull over, I'll call her.
(phone ringing)
God you're such a dick.
(upbeat rock music)
- You do know you're
gonna die soon, don't you?
(giggling)
Of course you don't, you're a pig.
(laughing)
You dumb pig.
(snorting)
I mean, seems to me you're aware
of what is going on Scrapple.
But you're not really
aware that you're gonna die
because I mean, let's face
it if you were aware of life
then you would be aware of death.
Right?
Am I right?
Are you listening to me?
Are you listening to me?
I don't think you are,
I think you're more
interested in food right now.
(groovy music)
- Tom I gotta tell it to you straight.
You are screwing everything up.
Do you love Beth?
Then tell her.
You wanna free yourself, then set me free.
(water rushing)
- Get out.
(giggling)
How are you doing?
- Good.
Here I made a sandwich for you.
- Thank I'm starving.
- You okay?
- Wow.
- Man you look as ripped as I feel.
How's your buzz?
- Good.
Got a little heavy there for awhile but.
I mean I haven't tripped since.
- Woody?
- I loved her man.
- I know.
- You know after all that weight though,
I had this one moment of absolute clarity.
I had it all figured out.
- I love it when that happens.
So tell me, what is it all about?
♫ I don't wanna think
about tomorrow right now
♫ No I don't
♫ And you don't wanna talk
about yesterday yeah, yeah
♫ Just look me in the eyes
and tell me that you love me
♫ Right now
♫ Give me some of that
sweet, tender loving today
♫ I want you to give me
♫ Some of that sweet tender loving today
♫ Yeah, yeah
♫ Give me some of that
sweet tender, loving today
(audience cheering and applauding)
(upbeat bluegrass music)
- Missed you at the hot springs.
- Beth I'm so sorry.
- Yeah just don't apologize.
You always fucking apologize.
- Look it was completely spontaneous.
Errol and I just.
- I don't wanna hear about it.
- I tried to call.
- I'm sure you did.
You know maybe we should just keep going
the way we're going.
You know, I'm really
writing some great songs,
this would really work out.
Look I've thought a lot about this.
Woody would want you
and me to be together.
I mean she would love it.
Don't you believe that?
- Yeah that's.
I mean you make it sound like it's easy.
- No, not easy Tom, I know it's not easy.
- You don't understand.
- Then make me understand.
Tell me what's going on with you.
'Cause if you can't, don't come back.
This shit is really getting old.
- Beth.
- Uh Cy Sloan please.
Uh no that's okay.
Tell him that Kurt Hinney
from Summit Development
in Ajax called and I'll be
forwarding the mesa land
contracts no later than Monday morning.
(low key music)
- Hey Strike's how's Hawaii?
- Lots of aloha, wouldn't
miss this gig though.
- Al Dean, you been
checking out the playoffs.
- Game seven tomorrow.
What a season huh?
Hey Mac, can I borrow your truck tomorrow?
- I'm sorry mate, it's in
the shop getting a service.
- Hey did you hear dred
Fred's running for mayor?
- Only in Ajax.
- Hey Tom, you wanna kick?
- Nah man.
- Easy, can I borrow your bike tomorrow?
- Yeah sure.
- [Al] Thanks man.
What's up with Easy?
- I don't think he's all that excited
about us roasting Scraps.
- [Al] This roast is
gonna be unbelievable,
whole town's gonna be there.
How many barrels you get?
- [Errol] We got five already
and we still gotta get one more.
Oh and the tap.
Six barrels, can you pick that up Al?
- I'm kinda busy tomorrow.
- Come on man I dug the bloody pit,
least you can do is pick up one keg.
- [Al] On one condition.
- What's that?
- [Al] I get to kill that pig.
- [Errol] Deal.
- [Al] Sorry.
- Sorry buddy.
Come on Scraps I got a plan.
Come on.
Trust me.
- [Radio] After three innings
of play here at Tubs Field
there is still no score between
the Grizzly Bears and the Wool Socks.
The winner of this game takes
the coveted Beaver Pelt Crown.
- It's a go.
Tell Denver we're on.
Good.
- And they're merging with who?
Are you sure?
Hang on.
Oh yeah count me in for 1,000 shares.
Great.
Yeah just between you and me.
What's that?
Oh it snowed in the mountains last night.
Oh it's gonna be a great
winter, you should come out.
Yeah we'll set it up.
Okay see ya.
- Bad man, hittin' home
runs for capitalism.
- How's it going Al?
- It's going, running around,
getting ready for this roast.
Like I got time for this.
You gonna be there?
- Oh yeah wouldn't miss it.
- [Radio] It's deep,
it's way back, home run.
- Oh man, damn.
Is uh, is Kurt in?
- Uh no he left for the day.
But he did leave that for you.
So I hear you're making
a bid on the house.
- We'll see.
- Oh that's great.
- Did he say where he was going?
- Uh uh.
- I gotta skip.
- Okay, later man.
Hey Dad, can you keep a secret?
- [Radio] As you know fans,
everybody loves a winner.
Why should it be any different
when you do your weekend grocery shopping?
So if you wanna reach for a winner,
go for Werner Wiener Dogs.
Because if it's a Werner,
you know it's a winner.
♫ It's a Werner, it's a wiener,
it's a Werner Wiener Dog
♫ It's a Werner it's wiener,
it's a Werner Wiener Dog
- Alright Deano, good man.
- [Al] Hey Mac.
- How're you doing?
Want a hand?
- [Al] Thanks.
- Let's get this puppy out
of here, get it on some ice.
One, two, three.
Ready to do the deed?
- [Al] Let's do it.
- Ah friends, Ajaxians, pig lovers all.
We have gathered here today
to pay homage not only
to a pig, but a sage.
Not only to a hog, but a muse.
Not only to a porker, but a friend.
Not only to a pause sign, mind traveler,
but a transcendent spirit.
Tonight Scrapple we will
feast on you, all the while
remembering what you have
brought to our lives.
Laughter, surprise, and family.
Tonight we will eat from
your ample loins to provide
nourishment for our hungry hearts,
our eager minds, and our empty bellies.
We pray to you Ullr.
- [All] Ullr.
- To provide bountiful
manner from the heavens above
for our coming winter season.
Gentlemen.
- You ready?
- Lock and load.
I can't do this.
(gun shot ringing)
- [Radio] There's a drive toward left.
It's deep, it could be.
Yes, he watches it go into the screen.
The Grizzly Bears take
the lead three to two.
And the team goes flying
out of the dugout.
Suddenly this whole
game has turned around.
- Remember what I said.
Nobody and I mean nobody
is to make any kind of move
until we've got verification of cash.
Cash transaction.
Have I made myself perfectly clear?
Excellent.
Sheriff looks like we're good to go here.
Take my man Lewis and
get yourself a position.
Alright.
Who the hell's got my lighter.
(blow dryer running)
- How's it going Juerta?
(sighing)
How's it going Juerta?
How's it going Juerta?
How's it going Juerta?
Buenos dios Juerta.
Buenos dios Juerta.
Buenos dios Juerta.
The bike!
Have you seen Easy?
(upbeat country music)
- It's a no go, that's right, yes.
Tell Juerta I'll call tomorrow okay?
Great.
- Have you see Tom?
- No.
What's going on?
- He's gone.
- He's gone?
- I can't find him anywhere.
I've been looking all over
town, his bike's gone.
I think he just split man.
- Thought he might.
- Listen I gotta go.
- Al Dean, is everything okay?
- [Al] No, everything is not okay.
Kurt!
Kurt!
Kurt!
Kurt!
Kurt!
(funky music)
- Whoa, what?
Klauss?
What the hell are you doing here.
Check the orders out.
Get up Kurt, you look like shit.
- I was, I was a little edgy.
So what are you doing here?
- Little change of plans.
I decided to come check
things out first myself here.
- Why?
I got somebody going to the airstrip.
- There's no one going to the airstrip.
- What are you talking about?
- I'm talking about the pigs.
- Pigs?
- Yeah, the place is
swarmed with pigs, feds.
CDI, FBI, DEA, even the Sheriff.
They're having a party up there.
- Everything's cool.
- It must be my paranoia.
Put out your cigarette.
- What?
- Your cigarette, put it
out, it's not good for you.
I am sorry you're so unhappy Kurt.
(gun shot blasting)
(crowd chattering)
- [Radio] It's not over
and it won't be over
until the final round is
recorded here at Tubs Field.
Could it get any better than this?
A game, a season, an entire
athletic heritage for two cities.
There's a chance to win the
game at the bottom of the ninth.
The wind up, the hook delivers,
Lastrisky pops it way up.
High nettles is under
an involved territory
and the Grizzly Bears win.
The Denver Grizzly Bears have just beaten
the Colorado Springs
Wool Socks five to four
to claim the Beaver Pelt crown.
For the Grizzlies the taste of victory
has to be particularly
sweet for all the difficulty
this club faced on the season.
(upbeat rock music)
- Errol.
- How're you doing Sunshine?
- [Laura] What's happening Errol?
- Not too much.
I'm looking for Sully.
Have you seen him?
- No.
- What about Al?
- [Laura] Not tonight.
- Oh well, you snooze you lose.
(upbeat rock music)
(mellow music)
♫ I'm going away to leave here
♫ I'm gonna leave you in disgrace
♫ Nothing in my favor
- [Tom] Come on Scrapple
♫ But the wind in my face
♫ I'm going home
♫ Hey, hey, hey over the hill
(knocking on door)
♫ Over the hill
♫ Hey, hey, hey over the hill
♫ Can't get enough of sweet cocaine
♫ Can't get enough of Mary Jane
♫ Going back to where I've gone wrong
♫ Oh running back home again
♫ Over the hill
♫ Hey, hey, hey, over the hill
♫ Over the hill
♫ Hey, hey, hey, over the hill
♫ Been worried about my baby
♫ Been worried about my wife
♫ Just one place for a man to be
♫ When he's worried about his life
♫ I'm going home
♫ Hey, hey, hey, over the hill
♫ Over the hill
♫ Hey, hey, hey, over the hill
♫ Well I'm going away to leave here
♫ Going to leave you in disgrace
♫ Got nothing in my favor
♫ Rain in my face
♫ I'm going home
♫ Hey, hey, hey, over the hill
♫ Over the hill
♫ Hey, hey, hey, over the hill
♫ Over the hill
♫ Hey, hey, hey, over the hill
♫ Over the hill
- You got the bike.
- Got my bike.
- Remember, you said I could use it?
I said can I take the bike,
you said sure take the bike.
You took the bike.
I really needed it man.
I'm in some deep mother fucking shit here.
- Look, Al I forgot.
- You forgot?
- Yeah?
- What is your problem with me Tommy?
Are you trying to ruin my life?
- Al forget about the bike.
I mean I've been doing
some thinking lately
and it's not your fault.
- Not my fault?
- Yeah I forgive you.
- You?
You forgive me?
You forgive me.
If I live through today, it'll
be the best day of my life.
The day that you forgive me.
(mellow bluegrass music)
- Beth?
(police radio chatter)
- Well he's dead.
He killed himself.
- What?
- He, he shot himself in the head.
I didn't think things were that bad.
- You boys are gonna have to move on now.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
- You sure?
- Yeah I'll be fine.
- Well listen, when you're feeling better
come by the house, okay?
I got something for ya.
- Okay, I'll see ya.
(cheerful music)
♫ Really love the rain
♫ Against my window
- So, look who finally shows up.
How are ya?
- Good man.
- You missed a hell of a party last night.
I think the whole town showed up.
- Smells like it.
- Are you packing?
- [Tom] Heading to California.
- You coming back?
- Ajax isn't going anywhere man.
- Well may the road rise
up to meet you brother.
Hey drop me a line once in awhile.
Alright you bastard?
- I will.
- Hey Sully.
Dharma pig lives, eh?
(laughing)
(cheerful music)
- Al I take it all back.
You're a lot smarter than I thought.
- Cookie?
♫ When the cards are stacked against you
♫ Lord you gotta be tough
♫ You got to stand up tall
♫ When the game get rough
♫ Never let your fire go out
♫ Never let your fire go out
♫ You might live in
pain and fear and doubt
♫ Never let your fire go out
(upbeat bluegrass music)
♫ Further on down the road baby
♫ You'll accompany me
♫ Further on down the road baby
♫ You'll accompany me
♫ I look back
♫ Your love was like the sun
♫ And I don't remember
no cold days darlin'
♫ Just the warm, warm ones
♫ Day by day
♫ Oh just one step at a time
♫ If we're fools in life
♫ Then a happy fool I would rather be
♫ Oh babe
♫ I can learn from you
♫ Yes and you can learn from me
♫ Oh babe
♫ You know when things get down
♫ And things get sad
♫ We can cheer up each other
♫ 'Cause things just ain't that bad
♫ If we're fools in life
♫ But a happy fool I would rather be
♫ When things get down
♫ Things get sad
♫ We can cheer up each other
♫ 'Cause things just ain't that bad
♫ If we're fools in life
♫ Yeah then a happy fool I would rather be
♫ Oh baby, come on
♫ Further on down the road baby
♫ You'll accompany me
♫ Oh that's what I'm hoping for
♫ Further on down the road baby
♫ You'll accompany me
♫ When I look back
♫ Your love was like the sun
♫ And I don't remember the cold days baby
♫ Just the warm ones
♫ Day by day
♫ Oh just one step at a time
♫ Oh, oh
♫ Oh babe, oh darlin'
♫ Lady in a turban in a cocaine tree
♫ She does that dance so rhythmically
♫ Cryin' and a singin'
♫ And havin' a time
♫ And don't that cocaine tree look fine
♫ But you gotta put on your sailin' shoes
♫ Gotta put on your sailin' shoes
♫ Everyone will start to cheer
♫ When you put on your sailin' shoes
♫ Jedidiah he got a dime
♫ And he'll catch more fish every time
♫ Well I've got a line
and you've got a pole
♫ I said I'll meet you at the fishing hole
♫ But you gotta put on your sailin' shoes
♫ Gotta put on your sailin' shoes
♫ Everyone will hip hooray
♫ When you put on your sailin' shoes
- [Announcer] Dr. Ovorsky, Dr. Ovorsky,
please come to ward four.
(tinkling piano music)
- I thought you were gonna
get me out of this place.
- I'm buying us a house.
Brian you're gonna love it.
It's on Spruce Street,
right in the middle of town.
Two bedrooms, one for you
downstairs, one for me upstairs.
Beautiful porch for you to
watch the skiers coming down.
- How long have I been hearing that Al?
Let me tell you a secret.
You don't buy houses you paint 'em.
You and your stoned out, ski bum friends,
you're totally out of touch with reality.
How are you gonna get
the money to buy a house?
(upbeat drumming music)
♫ Really love the rain
♫ Against the window
♫ Bringing back sweeter memories
♫ I feel a pain when I remember
♫ How sweet it used to be
♫ When we were together
♫ Everything was so grand
♫ Now that we're talking
♫ If there's one shot, I
got to show, I got to say
♫ I really love the rain
♫ Against the window
♫ But you're never here with me
♫ I feel a pain when I remember
♫ What a thrill it used to be
♫ Remember those feelings.
- Sunshine.
- Al Dean.
Got somethin' for me?
For fingered lift, alright.
Here you go.
- If you like this stuff,
you're not gonna believe
what I got comin' in.
My friend Lonnie, I told
you about Lonnie right?
- His father's an ambassador right?
- Diplomatic immunity, comes
through customs unchecked.
He's gonna score me, get
this, Nepalese temple balls.
- Shut up.
- I am serious man.
It's got the monastery's
insignia right there on it
so you know it's the real thing.
- Far out.
- These monks, picture this,
they live at 18,000 feet
right there in the
shadows of Mount Everest.
What they do is they take
the shake in marijuana plants
and they chew on it while they meditate.
They're up there, they're
invoking the spirits,
they're working that
keef into a gummy ball.
They they take the gummy
ball, mix it with opium
and they get these temple balls.
- Cool.
- Then they take them out and trade them
with other monasteries for chickens, pigs,
indoor plumbing, I dunno,
what ever else they need.
- Can you eat 'em?
- You're mowing my lawn.
- What happens when you eat 'em?
- Temple balls!
- I like eatin' 'em.
- This stuff is the nectar of the gods.
Guaranteed to improve your karma.
One hit of this stuff
and boom, you're blessed.
And I need all the help
I can get with that shit.
- Howdy people, how are you doing today?
(cheering)
Everybody having a good time?
(cheering)
Let's get to the pig chase.
You know the rules.
First person to catch the little piggy
can either take home $50 or the porker.
Contestants, are you ready?
Catch that pig!
(upbeat banjo music)
(crowd cheering)
We have our winner.
(crowd cheering loudly)
What's your name darlin'?
- Errol McNamara.
- Errol.
- [Crowd Chanting] Errol,
Errol, Errol, Errol, Errol.
- What's it gonna be, the pig or $50?
- [Crowd Chanting] Pig,
pig, pig, pig, pig, pig.
(upbeat blues music)
♫ Further on down the road baby
♫ You'll accompany me
♫ Oh darlin'
♫ Further on down the road baby
♫ You'll accompany me
♫ Oh
- Did I see you waitressing
at the Pick Beth?
- Yeah I started working there.
- Thought you were moving to San Fran?
- No, I put that on hold.
- You're not waiting over Tom?
- Girl he was out of his
mind when Woody died.
(upbeat blues music)
- I wonder how he's doing now?
- There is no question that
Ajax has all the ingredients
to make us the destination
resort in North America.
I know it's hard to get to,
but it's part of our charm.
The airport?
We've gathered all the
signatures, filed the petition,
it's on the ballot.
The voters are gonna
approve it in November.
It's a done deal.
(video game beeping)
This is definitely our year.
We'll be flying jets in
here before you know it.
Say hi to Joan for me and you will be
hearing from me in the
middle of next week.
Bing fucking go.
Phil?
Phil?
How are we doin' on the signatures?
- [Phil] About a hundred shy.
- What are we doing in here?
- [Phil] Reloading?
- Very good.
Load, reload, sell, resell.
Now put the gun down and
get out on the street
and get us on the ballot so
we can make some real money.
(phone ringing)
Kurt Hinney, Summit Development.
Hello?
Oh Victor.
I closed on Thursday.
Oh it's great.
Two acres.
Pristine mesa land.
And the views are amazing.
Sure.
It's zone commercial and residential.
You know it.
Well I'm glad it worked out for you Vick.
Let's keep in touch.
(harmonica music)
(crowd chattering)
- But it works.
- Down through Upper Chicken Gobbler,
down through Lower Gobbler
and then drop the big.
- It's about time.
- You dropped all these 714's,
I was luded out of my head.
Sunshine ragin', ride
that wave, ride that wave.
I was laughing so hard, I
almost wet my panties man.
- [Man] So what happened to you yesterday?
I was waiting around for half
an hour down at the retreat.
- Hey big daddy, hey buddy come here,
I got something for you.
(blender whirring)
- Hey Beth.
- Hey Al Dean.
- How're you doing sug?
- Doing good, I gotta go to work though.
- Where are you going?
- I gotta go to work.
- You just got here.
- I know.
Come by and see me at the Pick.
- I'll come by and see ya.
- Okay.
- [Radio] You know it's a winner.
Peter Polk earned a lifetime
supply of Werner Wiener Dogs
in game six of last year's
Beaver Pelt Championship Series.
Let's go to my now historic call.
- Polk now steps up to the plate against
the oh so intimidated Charlie Burke.
Polk already with three
round triples on the evening,
what could he possibly do for an encore?
Burke sets, he delivers, Polk
though with a monster strike.
It's deep, it could be, you
can call that ball a Hindu
'cause it is Gandhi.
Grizzlies, gonna repeat.
- Not if the Wool Socks can help it.
- Easy.
- Al Dean.
Errol, you shifty little Aussie.
- Ah Easy.
What the hell happened to you?
- Long story.
It's all good though.
Rito, what happened to you man?
- Wailed on my ankle in a mushroom grove.
- [Tom] Ouch.
- Tell me about it.
- Hey Tommy, you wanna beer man?
- Yeah man.
Whoa, what's up with the pig?
- Errol won Porky
yesterday at the pig chase.
Thinks we're gonna keep
him for the summer.
- Bloody yes we are.
I'm gonna build him a pen,
fatten him up for the summer,
and have a roast in the fall.
- I really don't see why we want a pig.
- Sacrifice him to Pan and Bacchus.
- Sacrifice him to Ullr.
- [All] Praise Ullr.
- There is no way in hell
that I am living with
a pig for the summer.
- [Errol] After Woody's funeral,
we all thought you were gone for good.
- Just had to split Mac.
I didn't know where I was goin', but.
- Hey, no need to explain.
Truth be known I was bloody bent.
You could've at least dropped me a line.
Anyway, you picked a good season to leave.
There's been bugger all snow
until the last couple of weeks.
So you think you're gonna stick around?
- Really just came back
to pack up my stuff
and put it in storage.
- Come on mate, you should
stay for the summer.
Listen, you can have your
old room back if you want it.
Why don't you think about it.
Listen I gotta hit the sack.
I'm tending bar at the Pick this summer.
- Alright man.
- Hey Sully, it's good
to have you back mate.
(pig snorting)
(distant whistling)
- He's so cute.
What are you gonna name him?
- How about Floyd man?
- You can't name the pig Floyd.
The Poxy sisters named their pig Floyd.
- Hey did you guys know
that Pigs have made
important contributions
to American literature?
Pigs love to drink, that's
probably the reason I like 'em.
In fact pigs are the only
animals that would drink enough
to be classified as an alcoholic.
- Tom, whatcha doing this weekend?
- Nothing much.
You wanna do something?
- Well I was thinking of going climbing.
- Where?
- How about the Van Winkle Wall?
- What are you trying to make me look bad?
I'm not in climbing shape.
- Sure you are.
Come on, it'll be fun.
- Yeah sure.
- But of course uh, Orwell
might be appropriate
in honor of George and
his pigs from Animal Farm.
Remember Napoleon had that great line.
"All animals are created equal,
"some are more equal than others."
I love that one.
How about you Beth, any ideas for a name?
- Hmm.
How about Hud?
Hud won a pig.
- How about Scrapple?
- Scrapple?
What the hell is scrapple?
- Exactly.
- Oh I've had scrapple before.
My mom used to give it to
us as kids, absolutely foul.
You think you're biting
into sausage, and it is not.
- But what's in it?
- Nobody really knows
what's in scrapple man?
- Come on people.
You Yanks invented the crap.
I had scrapple when I was
hitching through Pennsylvania.
It's like a cornmeal mash
and the meat and broth of the pork.
Season it with onions, a
little salt and pepper,
shape it into a loaf,
spice it up, and fry it.
It's as gross as head cheese.
- Cool.
- Sit Scrapple, sit.
Good piggy.
(cheerful country music)
♫ I ain't high on cocaine,
I don't need the pain
♫ It's bad for your brain and that's true.
♫ I ain't droppin' no names,
I aint' playin' no games
♫ I'm just one step ahead of the blues
♫ One step ahead of the blues
♫ From Memphis to Reno,
from New York to Tokyo
♫ I tried to come through for you
♫ I won't do you in, I
ain't no fair weather friend
♫ I'm just one step ahead of the blues
♫ One step ahead of the blues.
- Man I'm either having a long
term loss of my short term
memory, or short term loss
of my long term memory.
Trouble is, I can't remember man.
- Mercury's in retrograde.
- So that's my problem?
- It's all of our problems.
Nobody's safe.
- Painter Pedro.
- Hey what's the scene Al Dean.
- Your radio show the
other day was solid man.
- Turn it up or turn it off.
- You remember Easy?
- Easy, how's it going bro?
- Good man.
- Hey I'm trying to convince him
to stick around for the summer.
We're looking for somebody right?
- Hey we're always looking for someone.
Never been busier.
Drop on by the job site
Monday, we'll fix ya up.
- Great.
- Hey is that Errol's pig?
- Yeah, Scrapple.
- Alright, cute little booger.
- Have a good one Pedro.
♫ Even with the curves,
son it could be worse
♫ I've been one step ahead of the blues
♫ One step ahead of the blues
♫ One step ahead of the blues
♫ One step ahead of the blues
(police radio chatter)
(police siren blaring)
- Another package?
You must feel awful loved son.
Let's say we take a peak,
see what's in there?
- You can't do that.
- I can do anything I want to.
14 packages in the last three
months and no return address.
Now let's see what's in the package.
- I know I got rights.
- Look, we can open it
now, or I can take you
and your hippy friend down to the station
and we'll take a look at it there.
- It's got nothing to do with him.
He's just giving me a ride.
- It's in his vehicle.
What's it gonna be?
- You open it.
(glass clinking)
You broke it!
It's for my brother.
He's in a VA hospital.
Is that legal?
Why don't you stop hassling me man.
- I've been working on my own stuff.
Got a few solo gigs planned.
- Right on, where?
- The Pick mostly.
- Far out.
- Not for a couple weeks though.
You sticking around?
- I wasn't planning on it.
But I could sure use to
make some bread yanno?
- Where would you go if you left?
- I dunno, back east probably.
I'm not sure really.
I mean I could always go
to to work for the family.
The problem is, is I
can't stand the family.
- I'd like you to stay.
I mean, if that makes any difference.
- I'll see what happens with Pedro.
(upbeat music)
- Yeah, yeah so my
friends, they spend the day
hanging out, kicking this bag around.
I dunno, it's about the
size of a golf ball.
Yeah full of beads.
Well no, there is no point.
Nobody wins or loses or
anything, it's communism.
Yeah.
Well I guess the point is to
keep this thing in the air,
all day long.
Really.
Well I'm thinkin' we can make these things
for a nickel a piece in
Honduras or something.
Yeah, sell 'em for a buck.
Oh at least.
Well think about it.
Yeah I gotta go.
Love you too Dad, bye.
- [Al] How's it going?
- Not much.
- How's the land pimpin' racket?
Sell any dirt today.
- Actually somebody came in yesterday
asking about your place.
They just want the lot though,
they're gonna bulldoze that eye sore.
- Good one.
- Yeah, so, how are
things with your brother?
- I dunno.
Pretty good I guess.
They moved him out to a
place in Prescott so at least
he's closer but, it'd be a
lot better if he were here.
- How's my house on Spruce doing?
- Well it might not be yours
if you don't make an offer soon.
A couple came in just this morning
ready to start the paperwork.
- What are they offering?
- 35.
I don't think they're gonna
take it, they want 50.
But you need $7,500 to
make a bid yourself.
- Kurt doesn't know I'm
interested, does he?
- Let's do this ourselves.
Can you get the dough?
- Close.
I'm gonna get it though.
- That a way Al, have a little vision.
- It's not the vision part
of this equation I'm having
a problem with, it's the
reality that's trippin' me up.
- Yeah, but you know the thin line
between vision and reality, that's belief.
- You are scaring me man.
You're not buying into Kurt's
pseudo sales is life philosophy, are ya?
Besides, $7500 is not a thin line.
$7500 is a big old fat line.
(sniffing)
- Phil, don't you have some business
to take care of on the street?
- Yeah, on my way.
Hey Kurt do you know Al Dean?
- Of course I do, he painted
my house last summer.
- Right.
- Hey Al, can I speak to you a moment?
You got a minute?
- Yeah sure.
So what's going on?
- You know Toots right?
- Sure I know Toots.
He split town didn't he?
- Yes he did.
- And?
- And I'm lookin' for
someone to replace him.
You interested?
- Selling whiff?
- I've seen you operate Al,
you're strictly small time.
You could make a lot of
money working for me.
- Not my thing.
- Maybe you need to decide
what your thing is Al.
Risk reward ratio.
The bigger the risk,
the bigger the reward.
Sure you can keep selling $20 lids,
but where's it gonna get ya?
- Look Kurt, I'm doing
pretty good on my own.
Is this what you brought me in here for?
- You'd be stupid not to think about it.
(blues guitar music)
- You want some?
It's that killer weed Al gave you.
(pig snorting)
- Sexual attraction last four years tops.
How are you gonna spend your whole life
with someone you're not even attracted to.
- What have you been
reading Cosmo again Al?
- There's that Mars and
Sag in the fifth house.
A lover with a temper.
- You have any idea what
she's talking about?
- Not a clue.
- Um two more beers.
- [Errol] Okay, you got it.
- Hey Tom, how're ya doin'?
- Hey Easy.
- Al Dean.
You got any pot man?
- Whoa, Tom, try to be cool.
- Nah I wanna get ripped.
Can you score me some grass?
- You need to shut your trap Tommy.
- No, you remember that bag of weed
you sold me back in November?
- What is your problem man?
- That was really killer weed man.
- Well I'm glad.
- You're glad!?
- You guys, come on, come on, come on.
- You're glad!?
He's glad.
Did you hear that?
He's glad.
- Take my table.
- Yeah.
- What was that all about?
- I gave him that bag.
(slow banjo music)
(cheerful guitar music)
(loud slurping)
(pig snorting)
- Fourth of July today Scraps.
Temple balls are finally comin' in.
Gonna put me over the top.
What do you think of that?
(mellow guitar music)
- You were really messed
up the other night.
- I bricked.
- Yes you did.
- Hey thanks for taking care of me.
- Well you needed taking care of.
- I know.
So you excited about tonight?
- I dunno.
- Why not?
You're gonna be great.
What?
- Well I'm just a little nervous.
- Don't be.
- Are you gonna be there?
- Of course.
Why don't you play me something right now.
- No, uh uh, no.
- Come on Beth, come on.
- No.
- Come on.
(laughing)
- Okay, okay.
Okay, um.
What do you wanna hear?
- [Tom] I dunno.
What's your favorite song
you've written in the last six months?
(mellow guitar music)
♫ Rain comes down
♫ It's never gonna stop no, no
♫ I hear the ticking of the pine
♫ Well I'm moving down
♫ This dusty road
♫ The cold winds they are
blowing through my hair
♫ And I'm miles from my home
♫ I know this highway,
I'm sure I know it well
- So after mom died, I said to myself,
Errol life is just way to short to end up
at 60 with a gold watch and a pension.
Headed out looking for nirvana.
- This might not be it, but
the backyard's not to bad eh?
Can I get you something?
- Scotch on the rocks and do me well.
♫ But tonight I'm a
soul like a burning fire
- Say uh, you wouldn't happen
to know a Kurt Hinney would ya?
- Well the thing about Ajax
is, it's a nice quiet town.
We all live here together
alone minding our own business.
But uh, I think you might
find him back in the bathroom.
- Much obliged.
- Thank you.
(giggling and sniffing)
- See you back at the bar.
- Okie dokie.
- Well, excuse me.
Kurt Hinney?
- Yeah, and you're?
- Cy Sloan from Aspen.
- Oh my old stomping ground.
- Yes, that's what I understand.
Glen Fisher told me to look you up.
Said you were the king of Ajax.
Interested in some real estate.
- Oh really, what are you interested in?
- Mesa land.
- Who in the hell are you?
- I told you, Glen wanted me to see you.
I manage his club.
- Oh he did, did he?
I'm not really sure
what you want right now,
but I'm kinda busy.
If you wanna talk business,
you can come by my office.
Summit Development.
- [Radio] Sparky Styles on
in relief for the Grizzlies.
His wife, Sharon, is a pretty fine golfer.
- [Tom] Hey man I owe you an apology.
I was way out of line at
the Pick the other night.
- No need to apologize.
I know you're going
through some heavy shit.
What I wanna know is if you and Beth
went to the horizontal disco.
- I'm not trying to get on Beth.
- She is flush man.
- There's no doubt about that.
- And she's definitely into you.
- I don't think so man, we're buds.
Hey, Socks win last night?
- Yeah they won in the 10th.
Marsh went three for
four with two dingers.
- On a tear man.
Just wait 'til the wind starts
blowing out of Tubs Field.
- Socks are just like you
whiskey boy, can't keep it up.
- Guys wanna break for lunch?
- [Al] No you go ahead,
we'll catch you later.
- Alright, catch ya later.
- Philly Brandel's been comin'
by the house lookin' for ya.
What you got going?
- Trying to score a place.
- You don't have any money.
- I got a lot of irons in the fire.
- Selling bags?
- Look mister I was way out of line,
I don't wanna talk about it.
- I wanna talk about it.
- Well I don't like
hearing about it from you
and you don't like
hearing about it from me,
so let's just drop it right.
- What do you think you're gonna do,
nickel and dime your way into a house?
- I'm not just gonna buy
the blueprint for life Tom.
I'm trying to get some money together
so I can do my own thing.
- Yeah, pushing drugs.
- Selling lids of grass
does not make me a pusher.
I get a bag and it's gone in two days.
- Listen to yourself.
What does it make you then?
- It's not like I'm mixing up sopa's
in our bathtub or anything.
I mean, it's grass, it's harmless.
- Harmless?
What if you get busted?
Who's gonna take care of your brother?
- Who's taking care of him now?
Why don't you stop laying
your head trips on me alright Sully?
- So what are you in the market for?
- I was thinkin' five ki's.
- You can move that much?
- Oh yeah, it's not a problem.
If Aspen runs dry, I got contacts
in the Butte, Telluride,
all over the place.
You can get me the five?
- That's a lot of shit amigo.
These things take time.
Half the money up front,
the other half upon
delivery, no exceptions.
- I can work with that.
(tape voices rewinding swiftly)
- [Kurt] You can move that much?
Half the money up front,
the other half upon
delivery, no exceptions.
- Captain Colorado.
- Research Lewis, research.
(upbeat marching band music)
- Eight Ball.
What you got for me?
- These are from Lonnie.
There's more where this came from.
- About time.
I paid that guy six months ago for these.
- Hey they're well worth the wait.
- Are you sure?
I mean there's no symbol
from the monastery on them.
- [Lonnie] Hey it's the real shit daddy.
- Alright.
Thanks Eight Ball.
(bluegrass music)
- Summit Mountain Studios.
Okay get this, we're talking
a major recording studio
adjacent to an airport,
atop pristine mesa land.
James Taylor, Taj Mahal, I
know 'em, they wanna do it.
There is no question that
Ajax has all the ingredients
to make us the destination
resort in North America.
Juerta, Klauss.
- Kurt.
Are you okay?
- Yeah I'm cool.
- So who's the customer?
- He's an old friend from Aspen.
He owns the Purple Rose.
Eagles, Buffet, Dirt
Band, they all play there.
- God you're such a star fucker.
So why does he want so
much all of the sudden?
- He's afraid we're done, I
told him about the airport.
Let's do this.
- Well I've got quite a
bit sitting in Mexico.
We could fly it in below
radar at night into Dallas,
right Juerta?
Run it right up here.
Who's gonna make the pickup?
- I'll take care of it.
I've never let you down Klauss.
- You feel good about this?
- Five ki's?
I feel fucking great
about this Klauss, great.
- We might be able to make this work.
I'm gonna need some time
though to set it up.
- Perfect.
- So?
- What?
- You got something for me?
- Oh.
- Yeah.
This little strip has been good to us.
- This airport's gonna
keep being good to me.
Could be good for you too Klauss.
I need some capitol to
close on some big deals.
Why don't you come in with me?
- Real estate?
Juerta lets go.
- [Radio] A loss today by the
Grizzly Bears would put them
14 games back of the
league leading Wool Socks
halfway through the season.
- Did you here what Martin
William said last night?
Someone asked him if he thought that
the Grizzlie's could catch the Wool Socks.
You know what he said?
He said, there ain't
no sense worrying about
things you can't control.
'Cause if you can't control 'em,
there ain't no sense worrying about 'em.
Is that beautiful or what?
You're probably a Socks fan huh Scraps?
Feelin' pretty confident.
Well let me tell you somethin',
Socks don't have pitching.
Pitching wins championships.
This has got the best farm
league in the country.
Lou Lincoln was a Grizz.
Bet you didn't know that.
- Phil, life is not a popularity
contest, so get over it
because a positive mental attitude.
- Equals other people's money.
And that money in your pocket is mine
and I just gotta find a way to get it.
- There you go Phil.
I'm glad you appreciate those
nuggets I throw your way.
Any walk-in traffic today?
- None.
- Anything else?
- Well yeah, actually I
was wondering if you had
any activity on the Mahoney
house over on Spruce?
- There's a $40,000 offer on the table.
I think Mahoney's gonna bite.
Why?
- Well Al Dean's been eyeing
it and you know his brother
got all messed up in Vietnam
and is in a VA hospital.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you're breaking my heart.
What's the point?
- Look I'm trying to help him out.
He's having a tough time
getting a loan and I thought,
you know, maybe we could come up
with some creative financing or something.
- Yeah I think I might
be able to help him out.
Tell him to come out to
my house this weekend,
I've got some great financial sources.
- Oh that would mean a lot.
Thanks Kurt.
- That's our business Phil,
making dreams come true.
- Right.
- It ain't natural, that's all I'm saying.
(old time piano music)
Yes.
- [Errol] Al Dean, you couldn't
hit the broadside of a barn.
- And look at monkeys.
They're the closest
species to humans right?
Let me tell you somethin',
monkeys are not monotonous.
You see, each male monkey
wants to bang whatever he can.
And the female monkeys only
wanna bang the strongest
male monkey because they want
their babies to be strong.
The weak, nerdy, lame
monkeys, they never get laid.
But the alpha monkey gets
to nail whoever he wants
because all the babe monkeys
want his super sperm.
- [Errol] Pitch the ball already.
Yeah like that Al Dean,
except over the plate.
- A little Charles Darwin
there, survival of the fittest.
- And that is why the monkeys
fight so hard to be the
alpha monkey, because only the
alpha monkey gets any booty.
- [Errol] You go Al Dean, stick it to 'em.
- Wait, what do the other monkeys do?
- They indulge themselves.
- Shut up.
- Why do you think they
call it spankin' the monkey?
- Monkey love my ass.
Listen, I hate to break
it to you, you wanker,
but we're mammals that
adapted to life on land.
- So what's your point Errol?
- My point is that we're more
like dolphins than monkeys.
- Dolphins?
- Dolphins.
Dolphins are mammals.
Am I right?
They breathe in air,
drink their mothers milk.
- They do?
- Yeah.
Uh look at our skin, we have skin not fur.
Am I right?
- Yeah he's right.
- People are born with webbed
appendages all the time.
Next time you're looking in a mirror
look at the similarity
between your ugly schnozz
and a dolphin's blowhole.
What else?
Oh saline content in the womb
is exactly that of the ocean.
- Errol you're changing the subject.
- Hang on a second.
I'm not finished yet.
But perhaps most important,
and most relevant to
this conversation, dolphins
are monogamous, is the word,
not monotonous dickwad, and
they're known to mate for life.
So you go ahead and pork
like King Kong if you want,
I'm gonna go swim with
my little friend Flipper.
(laughing)
- Dolphins are mammals?
Dolphins are mammals?
- Errol, I mean wolves
and loons are monogamous.
But dolphins?
- Listen mate, if there is one
thing I learned on walkabout
it's that you should never let the truth
get in the way of a good story.
- Amen brother.
- Oh uh, Kurt wants to talk to you.
- Why?
- Well I set up a meeting
about the house on Spruce.
- Ah man.
I thought we agreed
not to go through Kurt?
- Come on look alive, you
guys could've had that.
- Look Al, the clock's ticking.
The Mahoneys want out and they're
considering a $40,000 bid.
- You know how I feel about Kurt man.
- Yeah, but he thinks he can help you.
- Yeah I bet he does.
- Look just go by his house.
Sorry.
- I gotta to his house now?
- Yeah just to, you're
being obtuse about this.
Obtuse, ridic, look do
you want the house or not?
Alright go, don't go,
it's up to, just whatever.
- Three outs.
(serene music)
- I had a lot of fun today.
- Yeah so did I.
I should probably go, huh?
- Why don't you stay?
(upbeat bluegrass music)
♫ Love ya mama now you know I can
♫ Be the one to be your man
♫ Love ya mama now you know I'd do
♫ Anything in the world for you
♫ To have lovin' in my baby's eyes
♫ To see the lovin' in my baby's eyes
♫ To see the loving in my baby's eyes
♫ Lovin' in my baby's eyes
♫ Love ya mama now you know I can
♫ Love ya better than another man can
♫ Love ya mama now you know I'd do
♫ Anything in the world for you
♫ To have lovin' in my baby's eyes
♫ To see lovin' in my baby's eyes
♫ To have loving in my baby's eyes
♫ Lovin' in my baby's eyes
♫ To have magic in my baby's eyes
♫ To have lovin' in my baby's eyes
♫ To see the lovin' in my baby's eyes
- Tom?
Tom?
- Woody?
- What are you thinkin' about?
- You.
- Oh, bad timing.
- [Radio] So the bases are
stacked here in the seventh,
the game tied four a piece, only one out.
If the Socks cannot hold
onto this they will leave
the door open for the
Grizzly Bears to take
a four game lead with only
two weeks left in the season.
Here's the payoff pitch to Chris Samuels.
- Hey Mac, two more.
- [Errol] Two?
Gotcha.
- Grizzlies have won six
straight against the Socks.
They are choking like a
bunch of rookie pole smokers.
- You're killin' me.
- Fraum couldn't catch 'em now.
- I mean you know they're
gonna face each other
in the Beaver Pelt Series again.
- And the Socks are going down.
(pig snorting)
(groovy music)
(loud crunching)
(helicopter blades whirring)
(odd tinkling music)
(bells ringing)
(engine revving)
- [Al] Oh no.
- [Tom] Look at this place.
- [Al] Please no.
Oh my god.
(laughing)
Oh god.
Oh man.
(screaming)
- [Sunshine] What's going on with Tom?
- I dunno.
We got together about two weeks ago
and we haven't talked since.
- Typical.
I dunno I mean, I think
he's bringing you down.
You outta dump him.
I mean I love Easy, I do.
But he's obviously got some
serious shit to work through.
- I say you stick it out.
His Sun, Venus, and Mercury
are all in the seventh house
so relationships are in
the forefront for him.
He's got his Mars and his
moon in the 12th house,
so he doesn't know what he wants.
He just needs some time, sister.
- I'm afraid he's going a number on you.
I say fuck him.
He'll come crawling back.
Check this one out babe.
- [Beth] Al Dean will love that.
- He's a Leo, those are his colors.
- Phil's not here.
- [Al] I'm not here to see Phil.
- Is that so?
- [Al] What's going on
with the Spruce house?
- The Mahoneys are ready to move.
- [Al] Well then so am I.
- Let's talk business.
- [Al] What do I gotta do?
- One pick up, one drop off.
(police radio chatter)
(knocking on door)
- [Sheriff] Hey, anybody home?
Stinkin' hippies.
(groovy music)
(odd laughter)
- [Errol] Hey Beth, you wanna see
if that sap around the corner's hungry?
- Hi.
- So you wanna order?
- Yeah lemme look.
So what've you been doin'?
- Not much.
You?
- Been on a bad head trip.
- Well it's just been
a joyride for me Tom.
- Look, I've been an asshole.
- You said it.
- Beth I'm sorry.
- Don't be.
- Look I was wondering.
Wanna go to the hot springs this weekend?
- I can't, I got a gig Saturday.
- How about Friday?
Come on, when was the last
time you got out of the valley?
- Well I was gonna go climbing.
- With who?
- Paul.
What I can't go climbing?
I'm supposed to sit around and
wait while you blow me off?
- I haven't been.
No that's fine, obviously.
So how about after?
- Um I dunno I think, I think
Paul might wanna nail me.
I'm kidding.
Look, let me think about it okay?
So you wanna order?
- I already ate.
- Scrapple.
Having consumed 22 Nepalese temple balls,
I now declare you the Dalai pig Lama.
- Resurrected after a most fitful slumber.
- The dharma pig has risen.
- Hey maybe we should keep
him through the winter.
- Are you kidding me?
Deano's been ready to kill porky here
since Scraps ate his cash and his stash.
This little piggy's going to market.
Aren't you buddy?
Living on borrowed time.
- Yeah but do we have to eat her?
I mean I feel more comfortable not being
on a first name basis with my dinner.
- Oh come on Sully, we
eat meat all the time.
Now you're just seeing
where it comes from.
- I know that, I'd just rather
not meet the meat I eat.
- Hey Sully.
Maybe you should take
him to the spirit world?
- The canyons?
- I got some shrooms.
The way I see it, Scraps
was probably some wise sage
in his last life, so he's
just being tested in this one.
He's in a transition period is all.
- Oh no.
- What?
- Fucked up.
- What?
- I'm supposed to go to the
hot springs with Beth today.
- Oh she is gonna be dark on you.
You wanna turn back?
- I can't believe that.
By the time we get back.
Hey pull over, I'll call her.
(phone ringing)
God you're such a dick.
(upbeat rock music)
- You do know you're
gonna die soon, don't you?
(giggling)
Of course you don't, you're a pig.
(laughing)
You dumb pig.
(snorting)
I mean, seems to me you're aware
of what is going on Scrapple.
But you're not really
aware that you're gonna die
because I mean, let's face
it if you were aware of life
then you would be aware of death.
Right?
Am I right?
Are you listening to me?
Are you listening to me?
I don't think you are,
I think you're more
interested in food right now.
(groovy music)
- Tom I gotta tell it to you straight.
You are screwing everything up.
Do you love Beth?
Then tell her.
You wanna free yourself, then set me free.
(water rushing)
- Get out.
(giggling)
How are you doing?
- Good.
Here I made a sandwich for you.
- Thank I'm starving.
- You okay?
- Wow.
- Man you look as ripped as I feel.
How's your buzz?
- Good.
Got a little heavy there for awhile but.
I mean I haven't tripped since.
- Woody?
- I loved her man.
- I know.
- You know after all that weight though,
I had this one moment of absolute clarity.
I had it all figured out.
- I love it when that happens.
So tell me, what is it all about?
♫ I don't wanna think
about tomorrow right now
♫ No I don't
♫ And you don't wanna talk
about yesterday yeah, yeah
♫ Just look me in the eyes
and tell me that you love me
♫ Right now
♫ Give me some of that
sweet, tender loving today
♫ I want you to give me
♫ Some of that sweet tender loving today
♫ Yeah, yeah
♫ Give me some of that
sweet tender, loving today
(audience cheering and applauding)
(upbeat bluegrass music)
- Missed you at the hot springs.
- Beth I'm so sorry.
- Yeah just don't apologize.
You always fucking apologize.
- Look it was completely spontaneous.
Errol and I just.
- I don't wanna hear about it.
- I tried to call.
- I'm sure you did.
You know maybe we should just keep going
the way we're going.
You know, I'm really
writing some great songs,
this would really work out.
Look I've thought a lot about this.
Woody would want you
and me to be together.
I mean she would love it.
Don't you believe that?
- Yeah that's.
I mean you make it sound like it's easy.
- No, not easy Tom, I know it's not easy.
- You don't understand.
- Then make me understand.
Tell me what's going on with you.
'Cause if you can't, don't come back.
This shit is really getting old.
- Beth.
- Uh Cy Sloan please.
Uh no that's okay.
Tell him that Kurt Hinney
from Summit Development
in Ajax called and I'll be
forwarding the mesa land
contracts no later than Monday morning.
(low key music)
- Hey Strike's how's Hawaii?
- Lots of aloha, wouldn't
miss this gig though.
- Al Dean, you been
checking out the playoffs.
- Game seven tomorrow.
What a season huh?
Hey Mac, can I borrow your truck tomorrow?
- I'm sorry mate, it's in
the shop getting a service.
- Hey did you hear dred
Fred's running for mayor?
- Only in Ajax.
- Hey Tom, you wanna kick?
- Nah man.
- Easy, can I borrow your bike tomorrow?
- Yeah sure.
- [Al] Thanks man.
What's up with Easy?
- I don't think he's all that excited
about us roasting Scraps.
- [Al] This roast is
gonna be unbelievable,
whole town's gonna be there.
How many barrels you get?
- [Errol] We got five already
and we still gotta get one more.
Oh and the tap.
Six barrels, can you pick that up Al?
- I'm kinda busy tomorrow.
- Come on man I dug the bloody pit,
least you can do is pick up one keg.
- [Al] On one condition.
- What's that?
- [Al] I get to kill that pig.
- [Errol] Deal.
- [Al] Sorry.
- Sorry buddy.
Come on Scraps I got a plan.
Come on.
Trust me.
- [Radio] After three innings
of play here at Tubs Field
there is still no score between
the Grizzly Bears and the Wool Socks.
The winner of this game takes
the coveted Beaver Pelt Crown.
- It's a go.
Tell Denver we're on.
Good.
- And they're merging with who?
Are you sure?
Hang on.
Oh yeah count me in for 1,000 shares.
Great.
Yeah just between you and me.
What's that?
Oh it snowed in the mountains last night.
Oh it's gonna be a great
winter, you should come out.
Yeah we'll set it up.
Okay see ya.
- Bad man, hittin' home
runs for capitalism.
- How's it going Al?
- It's going, running around,
getting ready for this roast.
Like I got time for this.
You gonna be there?
- Oh yeah wouldn't miss it.
- [Radio] It's deep,
it's way back, home run.
- Oh man, damn.
Is uh, is Kurt in?
- Uh no he left for the day.
But he did leave that for you.
So I hear you're making
a bid on the house.
- We'll see.
- Oh that's great.
- Did he say where he was going?
- Uh uh.
- I gotta skip.
- Okay, later man.
Hey Dad, can you keep a secret?
- [Radio] As you know fans,
everybody loves a winner.
Why should it be any different
when you do your weekend grocery shopping?
So if you wanna reach for a winner,
go for Werner Wiener Dogs.
Because if it's a Werner,
you know it's a winner.
♫ It's a Werner, it's a wiener,
it's a Werner Wiener Dog
♫ It's a Werner it's wiener,
it's a Werner Wiener Dog
- Alright Deano, good man.
- [Al] Hey Mac.
- How're you doing?
Want a hand?
- [Al] Thanks.
- Let's get this puppy out
of here, get it on some ice.
One, two, three.
Ready to do the deed?
- [Al] Let's do it.
- Ah friends, Ajaxians, pig lovers all.
We have gathered here today
to pay homage not only
to a pig, but a sage.
Not only to a hog, but a muse.
Not only to a porker, but a friend.
Not only to a pause sign, mind traveler,
but a transcendent spirit.
Tonight Scrapple we will
feast on you, all the while
remembering what you have
brought to our lives.
Laughter, surprise, and family.
Tonight we will eat from
your ample loins to provide
nourishment for our hungry hearts,
our eager minds, and our empty bellies.
We pray to you Ullr.
- [All] Ullr.
- To provide bountiful
manner from the heavens above
for our coming winter season.
Gentlemen.
- You ready?
- Lock and load.
I can't do this.
(gun shot ringing)
- [Radio] There's a drive toward left.
It's deep, it could be.
Yes, he watches it go into the screen.
The Grizzly Bears take
the lead three to two.
And the team goes flying
out of the dugout.
Suddenly this whole
game has turned around.
- Remember what I said.
Nobody and I mean nobody
is to make any kind of move
until we've got verification of cash.
Cash transaction.
Have I made myself perfectly clear?
Excellent.
Sheriff looks like we're good to go here.
Take my man Lewis and
get yourself a position.
Alright.
Who the hell's got my lighter.
(blow dryer running)
- How's it going Juerta?
(sighing)
How's it going Juerta?
How's it going Juerta?
How's it going Juerta?
Buenos dios Juerta.
Buenos dios Juerta.
Buenos dios Juerta.
The bike!
Have you seen Easy?
(upbeat country music)
- It's a no go, that's right, yes.
Tell Juerta I'll call tomorrow okay?
Great.
- Have you see Tom?
- No.
What's going on?
- He's gone.
- He's gone?
- I can't find him anywhere.
I've been looking all over
town, his bike's gone.
I think he just split man.
- Thought he might.
- Listen I gotta go.
- Al Dean, is everything okay?
- [Al] No, everything is not okay.
Kurt!
Kurt!
Kurt!
Kurt!
Kurt!
(funky music)
- Whoa, what?
Klauss?
What the hell are you doing here.
Check the orders out.
Get up Kurt, you look like shit.
- I was, I was a little edgy.
So what are you doing here?
- Little change of plans.
I decided to come check
things out first myself here.
- Why?
I got somebody going to the airstrip.
- There's no one going to the airstrip.
- What are you talking about?
- I'm talking about the pigs.
- Pigs?
- Yeah, the place is
swarmed with pigs, feds.
CDI, FBI, DEA, even the Sheriff.
They're having a party up there.
- Everything's cool.
- It must be my paranoia.
Put out your cigarette.
- What?
- Your cigarette, put it
out, it's not good for you.
I am sorry you're so unhappy Kurt.
(gun shot blasting)
(crowd chattering)
- [Radio] It's not over
and it won't be over
until the final round is
recorded here at Tubs Field.
Could it get any better than this?
A game, a season, an entire
athletic heritage for two cities.
There's a chance to win the
game at the bottom of the ninth.
The wind up, the hook delivers,
Lastrisky pops it way up.
High nettles is under
an involved territory
and the Grizzly Bears win.
The Denver Grizzly Bears have just beaten
the Colorado Springs
Wool Socks five to four
to claim the Beaver Pelt crown.
For the Grizzlies the taste of victory
has to be particularly
sweet for all the difficulty
this club faced on the season.
(upbeat rock music)
- Errol.
- How're you doing Sunshine?
- [Laura] What's happening Errol?
- Not too much.
I'm looking for Sully.
Have you seen him?
- No.
- What about Al?
- [Laura] Not tonight.
- Oh well, you snooze you lose.
(upbeat rock music)
(mellow music)
♫ I'm going away to leave here
♫ I'm gonna leave you in disgrace
♫ Nothing in my favor
- [Tom] Come on Scrapple
♫ But the wind in my face
♫ I'm going home
♫ Hey, hey, hey over the hill
(knocking on door)
♫ Over the hill
♫ Hey, hey, hey over the hill
♫ Can't get enough of sweet cocaine
♫ Can't get enough of Mary Jane
♫ Going back to where I've gone wrong
♫ Oh running back home again
♫ Over the hill
♫ Hey, hey, hey, over the hill
♫ Over the hill
♫ Hey, hey, hey, over the hill
♫ Been worried about my baby
♫ Been worried about my wife
♫ Just one place for a man to be
♫ When he's worried about his life
♫ I'm going home
♫ Hey, hey, hey, over the hill
♫ Over the hill
♫ Hey, hey, hey, over the hill
♫ Well I'm going away to leave here
♫ Going to leave you in disgrace
♫ Got nothing in my favor
♫ Rain in my face
♫ I'm going home
♫ Hey, hey, hey, over the hill
♫ Over the hill
♫ Hey, hey, hey, over the hill
♫ Over the hill
♫ Hey, hey, hey, over the hill
♫ Over the hill
- You got the bike.
- Got my bike.
- Remember, you said I could use it?
I said can I take the bike,
you said sure take the bike.
You took the bike.
I really needed it man.
I'm in some deep mother fucking shit here.
- Look, Al I forgot.
- You forgot?
- Yeah?
- What is your problem with me Tommy?
Are you trying to ruin my life?
- Al forget about the bike.
I mean I've been doing
some thinking lately
and it's not your fault.
- Not my fault?
- Yeah I forgive you.
- You?
You forgive me?
You forgive me.
If I live through today, it'll
be the best day of my life.
The day that you forgive me.
(mellow bluegrass music)
- Beth?
(police radio chatter)
- Well he's dead.
He killed himself.
- What?
- He, he shot himself in the head.
I didn't think things were that bad.
- You boys are gonna have to move on now.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
- You sure?
- Yeah I'll be fine.
- Well listen, when you're feeling better
come by the house, okay?
I got something for ya.
- Okay, I'll see ya.
(cheerful music)
♫ Really love the rain
♫ Against my window
- So, look who finally shows up.
How are ya?
- Good man.
- You missed a hell of a party last night.
I think the whole town showed up.
- Smells like it.
- Are you packing?
- [Tom] Heading to California.
- You coming back?
- Ajax isn't going anywhere man.
- Well may the road rise
up to meet you brother.
Hey drop me a line once in awhile.
Alright you bastard?
- I will.
- Hey Sully.
Dharma pig lives, eh?
(laughing)
(cheerful music)
- Al I take it all back.
You're a lot smarter than I thought.
- Cookie?
♫ When the cards are stacked against you
♫ Lord you gotta be tough
♫ You got to stand up tall
♫ When the game get rough
♫ Never let your fire go out
♫ Never let your fire go out
♫ You might live in
pain and fear and doubt
♫ Never let your fire go out
(upbeat bluegrass music)
♫ Further on down the road baby
♫ You'll accompany me
♫ Further on down the road baby
♫ You'll accompany me
♫ I look back
♫ Your love was like the sun
♫ And I don't remember
no cold days darlin'
♫ Just the warm, warm ones
♫ Day by day
♫ Oh just one step at a time
♫ If we're fools in life
♫ Then a happy fool I would rather be
♫ Oh babe
♫ I can learn from you
♫ Yes and you can learn from me
♫ Oh babe
♫ You know when things get down
♫ And things get sad
♫ We can cheer up each other
♫ 'Cause things just ain't that bad
♫ If we're fools in life
♫ But a happy fool I would rather be
♫ When things get down
♫ Things get sad
♫ We can cheer up each other
♫ 'Cause things just ain't that bad
♫ If we're fools in life
♫ Yeah then a happy fool I would rather be
♫ Oh baby, come on
♫ Further on down the road baby
♫ You'll accompany me
♫ Oh that's what I'm hoping for
♫ Further on down the road baby
♫ You'll accompany me
♫ When I look back
♫ Your love was like the sun
♫ And I don't remember the cold days baby
♫ Just the warm ones
♫ Day by day
♫ Oh just one step at a time
♫ Oh, oh
♫ Oh babe, oh darlin'