Rugrats in Paris (2000) - full transcript

I believe in the playground.

It's my favoritest place
in the whole wild world.

But two yesterdays ago,

a bad thing happened
when we was playing there.

Some big boys took my brother's binky
and buried it in the sandbox.

Binky bye-bye.

- They maked my brother cry.
- [whimpers]

So I said, "Dilly,
this is a job for the Bobfather."

[gulps] You come to me
on the day of this wedding

and ask me to take care of the boys
who made your brother cry?

Um, no.



Uh, Dil just wants a new binky.

That's it? A binky?

I don't get to squeeze no one's head
or pull no one's hair?

- Uh, no.
- Binky, please.

Dumb baby. Can't even make a good wish.
All right. Kiss my ring.

- [laughing, slobbering]
- Ew!

Go send the next one in,
and tell him to bring a sponge.

["That's the way (I like it)" playing]

♪ That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh
I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

Nine, 11,

uh, 20...

Chuckie! You're not supposed to look
at your feet when you're dancing.

But I gots to, Susie.
They just keep getting all tanglied up.

- [Susie laughs]
- Whoo-hoo!



Faster, Phillip!
We gots to get to the peoples on top.

- I gots dibs on the feets.
- Phil, Lil,

the Bobfather wants to see you now.

I can't believe
Angelica saw that movie last night.

I can't mother and merger
at the same time.

Besides, she only saw a scene or two.
It couldn't have made an impression.

Uh, Bobfather,
we founded this in our crib.

Well, that's what you get for wiping
your boogers on Cynthia.

So that's where I left 'em!

[music continues]

And now,

let's give a warm round of applause

to our number one newlyweds

out of this week's
Top Ten Married Couples:

Mr. and Mrs. Lou and Lulu Pickles!

Come on, Lulu. Let's show
these whippersnappers how it's done.

I didn't get these plastic hips
for nothin'.

[both laugh]

So, Chas, buddy, you think
you'll ever tie the knot again?

'Cause I got a cousin who's lookin'.

Big bones, broad shoulders...

Whoo! And she can eat
her weight in cheese in one sitting!

Thanks, Betty, but cheese gives me hives.
So does dating.

Boy, Lou and Lulu sure can boogie.

[swing music playing]

You're like family to me, Finster.
Name your wish.

Um-- Um--

Gosh, Bobfather,
I don't know what to wish for.

Oh, just pick something already!

- Um-- Uh--
- I don't mean your nose!

Come on, Chuckie.
Grandpa Lou's throwing the gardener.

♪ These boots are made for walkin' ♪

- [gasps]
- ♪ And that's just what they'll do... ♪

- Hmm.
- ♪ One of these days, these boots ♪

- I'll take that binky.
- ♪ Are gonna walk all over you... ♪

There you go, drooly.

- It fell off a truck.
- Whoa!

See, Dilly? You got your wish.

I'm really happy for you, Pop.

Yeah. Lulu's a great lady.

[Lou] Yep, she's a keeper.

Course, no one will ever replace
your mother.

It's her love in here
that helped this old geezer love again.

All right, folks.

Now it's time for a special dance
for all the kids and their moms.

Mommy just loves dancing
with her handsome boys.

♪ When you love ♪

♪ You're not alone ♪

♪ The one you love ♪

♪ Is there beside you ♪

♪ Never lost ♪

♪ Or on your own... ♪

[sighs]

Angelical [gasps]

Wait, Angelica! I think I know--
I-I know what I want to wish for now.

I'd kinda like to have a new mommy.

Sorry, Finster. That game's over.

Besides, I'm wanted on the dance floor.

But that's my wish.

It's getting late, Chuckie.
What do you say we head home?

- ♪ Never lost ♪
- [contented sigh]

♪ Or on your own ♪

♪ A gentle hand ♪

♪ Is there to guide you... ♪

Chuckie? What are you doing up?

[yawns]

I was just looking through
some of our old things.

Remember your Wawa?

- [gasps]
- Your mommy made it for you.

Oh, Chuckie,
your mom was an amazing woman.

I'll bet she's in heaven right now
looking down on us.

Oh, I've been missing her
so much, Chuckie.

You know, maybe we could use
a mommy's touch around here.

Huh, little guy?

You gotta love the Internet, Chas.
Behold the future of dating.

What are they doing?

My daddy's helping your daddy
catch some dates in a net.

What are dates?

Big raisins that make you poop.

What is it with you babies and poop?

Gosh! Where do you want us
to start, Angelica?

Wow! My own web page!

"Chas Finster. Bureaucrat. Bachelor."

[chuckles]
Are you sure this is gonna work?

Would I do you wrong, Chas?
Look, you already have 12 dates.

Wow! That's triple my lifetime record.

Look at this one.

She loves sunsets,
long walks on sandy beaches,

and "is not allowed
in the state of Kentucky."

Oh, oh, I don't know about this, Stu.

[seethes] Let me put it to you this way.

Dates is for people like Mr. Chuckie's dad
who don't got no wife.

But why does Chuckie's daddy need a wife?

Oh, what I have to put up with!

'Cause if his daddy gets a new wife,

then that means Chuckie gets a new mommy.

[gasps] I'm really gonna get my wish?

Yeah, so long as you stay
in my good flavor.

I didn't know she had a good flavor.

Guys, guys! I'm gonna gets a mommy!

And I bet she's gonna be clean
and cuddly and nice.

- [Tommy] Sounds great, Chuckie.
- [Chuckie] I hope she's not too clean.

[all laughing]

- [people screaming]
- [horns honking]

What are you waiting for?

Get off your derrières and get this show
on the road! Tout de suite!

[squeals]

I love the sound of panicked
scurrying feet in the morning.

Don't you, Jean-Claude?

It moves me deeply, madame.

- [mechanical roar]
- [operatic scream]

♪ That Reptar's a nuisance ♪

♪ He's a thorn in our side ♪

♪ The way things are going ♪

♪ Our village will be fried... ♪

[people exclaiming]

Oh, that Stu Pickles!

I want that nincompoop inventor
here within 24 hours,

or another head will roll.

I'll take care of it personally.

Kira! Madame LaBouche
wants her Pickles. Now!

[electronic beeping]

[phone ringing]

H-Hello?

- [Dil whimpering]
- [ringing continues]

- Hello?
- Hello, Mr. Pickles?

This is Kira Watanabe from EuroReptar.

I'm sorry to call so late,

but the Reptar that you designed
has broken down,

and my boss is having a fit.

Reptar's a hit? That's great.

We need you to come to Paris
on the next flight.

Paris. Oh, yeah. The City of Lights.

Madame kindly recommends that you...

Come with my family and friends?

[yawns] Okeydokey.

Yeah...

Hello? Mr. Pickles?
Hello? Are you still there?

- Hey, Dee, we're going to France.
- Hello?

Oh, Stu, I'm too tired to dance.

- France?
- [Spike whines]

I'm going to France, and you're not.

And I already learned
how to parsley-voo-francy.

Which, for your information,
means "speak French."

[laughing]

[speaking French]

Au revoir.

No one likes a show-off, Susie.

[Angelica] ♪ We're headin' out, babies
There we go ♪

♪ Get those stubby legs moving
No time to pick your nose ♪

[Tommy] ♪ We've got stuff to do
Let's take Spike too ♪

[Phil] ♪ We're on our way to France
Don't forget our underpants ♪

[Angelica] ♪ We're heading out, babies
We're on our way ♪

[all] ♪ Here we go
On a big exciting trip ♪

- ♪ We're heading up, up, up, up, up ♪
- Oops!

[Chuckie] ♪ Hang on to your diapies
Don't lose your bib ♪

[Tommy] ♪ Get moving babies
I hope we're all packed ♪

[Chuckie] ♪ We don't know
When we're gonna get back ♪

[Phil] ♪ No time to worry
Bout getting stinky ♪

[Tommy] ♪ I hope you remember
To pack your binky ♪

[Lil] ♪ We're taking off, whee! ♪

[Tommy] ♪ We're on our way
to France, Paree! ♪

[Phil grunts] How in the heck
do you work this thing?

[Lil] I don't know.
I think I'm gonna scream.

[all screaming]

[Tommy, Lil making karate noises]

[karate noises continue]

- [groans]
- Oops.

Guess Robosnail thought he could fly.

[tones chime]

[Tommy] Wow! Press a button, get a mommy!

[gasps]

I never saw a mommy button before.

Let's see what kind of mommy
your button gots for you, Chuckie.

Hey, I wanted to press
the button, Lillian!

You want the button, Phillip?

You can't handle the button!

- [toy squeaks]
- Oh, look.

A toy that was already broken.

Unfortunately, the union forbids me
from picking it up.

That's a job for your mommy.

Somebody got up
on the wrong side of the bread.

- Let's try again.
- No, let's not, Lillian.

I'll just wait for the Bobfather
to bring her. Whenever that is.

Let's go ask her, Chuckie. She just
sneaked behind that curtain over there.

[over headphones]
♪ Do you wanna play outside? ♪

♪ Then come with me
It's such a lovely day... ♪

[vomits]

[music off]

- Hey, what's the big idea?
- Hi, Angelical!

Oh, for feet's sake!

Can't you see this is
the "no dumb babies" section?

Uh, sorry, Angelica,

but Chuckie was kind of wondering
when his new mommy was coming.

I'm, um, working on it.

And I almost had a good one,

but then I got so hungry
I just had to sit down.

- Maybe you need a nap.
- Or cookies.

- Or cookies.
- And ice cream.

And ice cream!

Which happens to be
in that kitchen up there.

Be right back. Come on, you guys!

Where are they going? There's lots
of neat stuff down here, Phillip.

Like a hairy toothbrush, a 'tato chip...

Hey, somebody must have
losted their lunch.

Mmm! [laughs]

♪ Do you wanna play outside? ♪

♪ Then come with me
It's such a lovely day... ♪

[exclaiming]

[screams]

Finster!

Look, Phillip! Party hats.

- Thanks a lot, diaper bags.
- [seethes]

[laughing]

Whoo! I smell a ripey diapie.

Come on, sweetie. Time to get changed.

♪ I want a mom that will last forever ♪

♪ I want a mom to make it all better ♪

♪ I want a mom that will last forever ♪

♪ I want a mom
Who will love me whenever ♪

♪ I want a mom to take my hand ♪

♪ And make me feel like a holiday ♪

♪ A mom to tuck me in at night ♪

♪ And chase the monsters away ♪

♪ I want a mom to read me stories ♪

♪ And sing a lullaby ♪

♪ And if I have a bad dream ♪

♪ To hold me when I cry ♪

♪ Oh, I want a mom ♪

♪ That will last forever ♪

♪ I want a mom to make it all better ♪

♪ I want a mom that will last forever ♪

♪ I want a mom
That will love me whatever ♪

♪ Forever... ♪

Hey, hey! No one else is being picked up
by a guy in a Reptar suit.

I was just thinking the same thing.

Welcome to Paris.

I've been asked to take you
directly to EuroReptarland.

Out of my way, babies!

The prettiest, smartest,
bestest girl gets the front seat.

So why is she in such a hurry?

Um, my tummy's all bubbly.

Don't worry, Lil. I gots your baggie.

[Chuckie] Looky! Reptar's house!

Pokyo sure looks different on TV, huh?

Pokyo? Don't you know nothing?
This is Parrots!

You babies are as dumb here
as you are at home.

Wee-wee.

'Cept him. He's speaking French already.

Welcome to EuroReptar.

Yay! Reptarland!

Et voilà! Our Parisian pied-à-terre.

[Betty] Pretty posh digs!

[sighs]

The beds are quite comfortable.

Yeah? Incoming!

[Howard exclaims, grunts]

And so is the floor.

[all laughing, exclaiming]

It's the most beautifullest potty
I ever seed.

I'm a diapie man myself.

Wow! A potty that squirts you back!

I don't know, you guys.
I squirt myself enough already.

We're off to the boutiques.

Okay, it's time to meet Ms. LaBouche,

the woman who made all this possible.

- Shall we?
- [snoring]

Well, Chas, it looks like you,
me and the kids.

Oui, oui, mon Ami. [chuckles]

[dog barking]

[people shouting]

[man exclaiming]

♪ The party was nice
The party was pumpin'... ♪

And don't come back!

- ♪ And everybody having a ball ♪
- ♪ Yippee yi yo ♪

♪ I tell the fellas
"Start the name-callin" ♪

♪ Yippee yi yo ♪

♪ And the girls respond to the call
I heard a woman shout out ♪

♪ Who let the dogs out? ♪

♪ Who, who, who, who, who? ♪

♪ Who let the dogs out? ♪

♪ Who, who, who, who, who? ♪

♪ Who let the dogs out? ♪

♪ Who, who, who, who, who? ♪

Geez, Stu.

Seems kind of odd to have a Japanese
theme park in the middle of Paris.

It's a new century.
Just go with "le flow."

[elevator bell dings]

Oh. Wow.

- Oh!
- Hey.

Bonjour. Welcome to EuroReptar.

And one of you must be Mr. Pickles.

That would be moi.

[chuckles] And this is my good friend,
Charles Finster.

- And this is my son, Chuckie.
- Hi, Chuckie.

Ooh, I like your bear.

What sweet children.
Is this your first time in Paris?

Well, France, yes.

But, you see, I've been to Paris, Texas,
a number of times.

Wow!

[electricity crackling]

[both gasp]

Reptar's head!

I wonder if the Bobfather had
anything to do with this.

Come on, Chuckie! It's a wadey pool!

[gasps]

Whee! [chuckles]

[laughing]

- Ooh. They look hungry.
- Must be lunchtime.

- [indistinct conversation]
- Huh?

...just leave no fingerprints.

[screams]

Where did those filthy
little bookends come from?

Oh, what have you done to my priceless
collection of koi fish?

I told you to get the piranha.

Jean-Claude, call the dog catcher!
The exterminator! Do something!

Oui, madame.
Kira!

Come along, children.

Um, madame, Mr. Pickles is here.

Oh, good. Send in the clown.

So, if it isn't the brilliant designer.

Well, I wouldn't say brilliant.

- Neither would .
- [gasps]

Why don't we take the babies
to see the princess parade

while they get better acquainted?

Oh, the kids would love that.

See this face?

I never want to make this face again!

- [gasps]
- Now get to work.

I'll have it working in no time.
Mechanical expertise is my middle name.

Then your first name should be
"I have no."

Sorry to interrupt your episode,

but it's the boss on the phone.

[laughs] Oh, Monsieur Yamaguchi,
SO nice to see you.

As you know, I'm stepping down
as president of Yamaguchi Industries,

and I've begun a search
for my replacement.

Splendid. I accept.

You are one of the many
under consideration.

But I have made millions for this company!

The candidate should not be
concerned only with money.

They must understand what it means
to bring joy to children.

In fact, they themselves
must have the heart of a child.

I must have one in a jar somewhere.

In fact, I'm engaged to a wonderful man
with a baby thing all his own.

Oh! Congratulations, madame.

I look forward to attending the wedding

and seeing you with your new family.

We'll discuss the promotion then. Goodbye.

What now, Pinocchio?

Years of clawing my way to the top,
gone to waste.

Why am I not some child's tender mother?

- [pounding table]
- Why? Why? Why?

[sobbing]

[Jean-Claude] Because you hate children,

and men find you to be a heartless shrew?

There has to be a spineless little man
with a brat of his own

somewhere out there.

Bonjour?

[gasps] My chocolates
are in her little American stomach!

Jean-Claude! Get them back!

- Open wide. Say "aah."
- No, wait!

You have five seconds
to come up with a reason

why I should not lock you up
forever and ever.

Um... because I can stick
five raisins up my nose,

and I can sing real good,
and forever and ever is a long time!

Ticktock.

And I know where you can find a spiny
little man with a brat of his own?

I think... [chuckles] ...I just made a friend.

- [people cheering]
- [upbeat music playing]

[Tommy] Wow! Isn't this neat, Chuckie?

I don't know.

There's something kind of weird
about a guy in a ponytail and a dress.

Golly, Kira, you're a natural.

[giggles] Well, I have
a beautiful little girl to thank for that.

Kimi. She's almost two.

So's my Chuckie!

I mean, not a girl, I mean, but...
well, you know...

Oh, look! The princess is coming.

Once upon a time, there was
a mighty dinosaur named Reptar.

[gasps]

Everyone ran away from him
except the beautiful princess.

She was not afraid,

because she could see
that Reptar was not vicious.

He was lonely and unhappy.

So she promised to take care of him

and keep him safe and loved
forever and ever.

Forever and ever...

My mommy says Mr. Chuckie's dad
is so desperate

that he'll marry the first lady
that plops the question.

Excellent!
Now, run along before you give me lice.

Hey! What do I get out of this deal?

Ha! Why should I give you anything?

Gee, I don't know.

'Cause I could accidentally tell someone

why you want to marry Mr. Chuckie's dad?

An extra scoop for cunning.

Tell Auntie Coco what you desire.

Let's see. Not much.

Just my own float
in the Reptarland parade,

with matching ponies
and my own fashion show

and to be the flower girl at your wedding.

Ha! And who said Americans are greedy?

I will take care of it, Angelique.

Jean-Claude, find out
where our guests are dining tonight.

Love is on the menu.

[pop music playing]

This place gots
the biggest babies I ever sawed.

[Phil] That's gotta be one stinky diapie.

When I came to France,
I had dreams of bouillabaisse,

crêpe Suzette, chicken cordon bleu...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I had dreams of eating with a fork.

Now pass the squid brains.

It's karaoke time! [chortles]

[Betty] Well, do-re-mi.

♪ Toot-toot, ah, beep-beep ♪

♪ Toot-toot, ah, beep-beep ♪

♪ Bad girl ♪

♪ Talkin' 'bout the sad girl ♪

♪ Hey, baby ♪

♪ Bad girl ♪

♪ Talkin' 'bout the bad, bad girl ♪

♪ Eat all the cookies in plain sight ♪

♪ Chewin' ♪

♪ Pickin' on the dumb babies ♪
[sinister laughter]

♪ Always have to be right ♪

♪ They're so easy to trick and tease ♪

♪ 'Cause they don't know a thing, baby ♪

And when I seed the magic sprinklies
in my hand,

I knowed she was the one.

You mean you want the princess
to be your new mommy?

Yep. She's everything
I've been wishin' for.

She's real nice, she loves Reptar,

and bestest of all,

we could live happily forever after.

[grunts, mumbles]

- [Coco gasps] Stuart?
- [gasps]

What a surprise!

Everyone, this is Madame LaBouche.

Uh-uh-uh. Mademoiselle.

[gasps] And who is this devastatingly
handsome red-haired man

you are trying to hide from me?

[stammering] That's my good friend,
Chas Finster.

- [Didi exclaims]
- Enchantée.

Bonsoir, mademoiselle.

Oh, call me Coco.

And that adorable misproportioned
ragamuffin must be your son.

Madame LaBouche! Madame LaBouche!

- Oh, hi, Kira.
- What?

I'm sorry to interrupt, madame,
but these need your signature.

- Can you join us for dinner?
- Why, I--

Oh, you're much too busy, Kira!

Oh, that's too bad.

[Kimi laughing]

Oh! That must be Kimi!

- Who?
- My daughter.

Oh. Of course.

So, Kimi, do you and your mommy
and daddy live in Reptarland?

Not exactly.

It's just me and my mommy,
and we live in Paris.

But I gets to come here all the time.

Kimi, you met the princess?

Sure. Lots of times.

She lives out there,
in that castle on that bowlcano

and comes out between 'splosions.

[Tommy] Now we know where to find
your new princess mom, Chuckie.

Chuckie?

Sorry. I stopped listening
after "'splosions."

Hey, do you think Kimi would like

to come to the park
with me and the kids tomorrow?

Oh, what a coincidence!

I planned to spend the day
with her there myself.

- But, madame! You never--
- Tire of taking care of your daughter.

So, it's a date.

It'll just be you and me
and that adorable swarm of infants.

[sniffing]

[barking]

-[people chattering]
-[calliope playing]

Wow! Robosnail!

I think I'm in love.

Hi, Robie.

Why didn't you people
just follow my design?

I used paper clips and rubber bands
for a reason!

I love their fries and everything,
but this is advanced robotics.

It looks pretty complicated.

Actually, it's not.

You just put on the gear,
and anything you do, Reptar does.

[mechanical whirring]

It's so simple, a child could work it.
Right, champ?

Huh? Oh, no, no! [screaming]

[exclaiming]

[gasps] Sorry!

[exclaims, screams]

Did I say child? I meant young adult.

- Bonjour, everyone.
- [Kimi grunts]

Ready to go, mon chéri?

Let me just get Dilly settled.

And how is this precious gherkin today?

- [exclaims]
- [grunts]

Why, you're just a lawsuit
waiting to happen, aren't you?

Mon chéri,

I could listen to your fascinating
health history all day.

Then I'll tell you
all about my poor sinus drainage

when I get back
from the little boys' room.

Would you mind holding Dil?

Uh-- Of course not.

This should be good.

So, we meet again.

How delightful.

[Dil squeals, laughs]

Kira! They're staring at me,

and this child is leaking from the mouth.

What do I do?

Just smile and be nice.

Hello! You are not horrible.

- [squeals, laughs]
- No!

Let go!

Do you know
how much I paid for these lips?

I don't think Dil likes
that lady too much, you guys.

Stop it, you dripping urchin!

I don't think she likes Dil
too much either.

She's not a very nice lady.
She's too pointy.

Kira, he's crying. What do I do now?

Comfort him.
Gently bounce him up and down.

[gasps]

[groans]

Ah. According to Lipschitz,
Dilly just gave you a gift.

Why wouldn't he?

After all, children, they are my life!

Oh! I have that poem taped
to the refrigerator!

- Pardon?
- [Kira] "Children Are My Life."

It is a classic!

"Dappled laughter, patting feet."

"Joy and wonder, heaven's treat.”

It is one of my favorites!

"Joy and wonder, heaven's treat.”
It's one of my favorites.

Wow!

[children exclaiming]

Oh, dear. They're getting fussy.

Why don't you take them
to Ooey Gooey World?

Ooey Gooey World?

[Chas] Ooey Gooey World!

What a great idea!

♪ Behind the couch
Is a land of smudge ♪

♪ A home to wrappers, toys and fudge ♪

♪ Gummy bears, balls of hair... ♪

Kira, remind me to eliminate

whoever wrote this hideous song!

Look! No hands! Whee!

[laughing]

Whoo! It's so soft and squishiful.

Yeah, it's good stuff. Let's stock up.

[music continues]

[blows note]

And exactly how
am I opposed to find the princess

with my glasses all googlied up?

Here.

Thanks, I guess.

Look, the castle!
Let's go see that princess, Chuckie!

You guys, they said to keep your hands
and feets inside at all times.

That didn't stop her!

Come on! I'll show you the short cup!

Kimi, no!

You guys!

- What are you waiting for?
- Oh, great. Another Tommy.

[singing, indistinct]

[grunts, sighs]

Kimi! Madame, the babies are gone!

Finally. Huh? No!

Wait! Get them back
before Wheezy finds out!

Security, we have an emergency situation!

[alarm blaring]

[speaking French]

♪ Life is a party ♪

♪ Let's get it started, get it started
Get it started tonight ♪

♪ Life is a party ♪

♪ Get excited, you're invited
There's a party tonight ♪

All this goo is giving me a diapie rash!

[exclaims, grunting]

♪ Imagine everyone in the world ♪

- ♪ Out in the street tonight ♪
- [Kimi exclaims]

[gasps]

♪ Everybody's gonna rock all day ♪

♪ Just 9:00 to 5:00 party time ♪

♪ Life is a party ♪

♪ Let's get excited, you're invited
There's a party tonight ♪

♪ Life is a party, oh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, here we go! ♪

♪ Life is a party ♪

♪ Let's get excited, you're invited
There's a party tonight ♪

I told you I knowed a short cup!

That was the longest short cup
I ever tooked.

There they are!

- There's the princess!
- Isn't she beautiful?

Oh, no! She's gone!

Go get her, Chuckie. She's right inside.

You're right, Tommy. I'm gonna do it.

What if she doesn't like me?

Go ahead, Chuckie.
You'll never know unless you try.

- [growls]
- [gasps]

Go ahead, Chuckie.

- [person chuckles]
- [screams]

Allez-hoop, little baby.

- [screaming]
- [chuckles]

[exclaiming]

The babies have been apprehended.

We're on our way back to Ooey Gooey World.

[music continues]

♪ It's an ooey
Ooey gooey world ♪

[chuckles]

[sighs] At least
we didn't have to walk back.

[gasps]

Ooh. Look, mon chéri.

[gasps] Oh! I think he likes me.

[speaking French]

We're both lactose intolerant, love kids,

and she finds bureaucrats fascinating.
[chuckles]

Who doesn't, you babe magnet!

Well, just be careful, Charles.

I wouldn't want you to rush into anything.

I won't. Don't worry.

First I have to see how Coco
and my little Chuckie get along.

He and I are a team, you know.

- Tommy?
- Yeah, Chuckie?

Do you think that someone like me

could ever learn to be brave like you,
my daddy and Reptar?

Sure.

But how, Tommy?

Well, um,

maybe you could try thinking of something
else next time you feel a-scared.

I tried that once,

but I just thought of something scarier.

[yawns]

Why don't you try thinking about stuff
that makes you feel good?

You mean like my Reptar night-light

or my Happy Hippo blankie

or my favoritest moon rock?

Uh-huh.

Or... Or a new mommy?

Next time I see the princess,
I'm gonna be brave.

Sweet dreams, Chuckie.

[door closes]

[humming tune]

What's this?

A gold inhaler?

Gee, most hotels just leave mints.

"Chad, you take my breath away"?

"Forever yours, Coco."

[sighs]

"Chad?"

[low growling]

[gasping, shivering]

[funky music playing]

[gasps]

[shouts]

♪ Yow! ♪

♪ If you've been chased around
By a kung fu choppin' clown ♪

- ♪ He'll come slidin' to the rescue... ♪
- [Angelica] Yeah, right.

♪ And if your rickshaw's been attacked
By a Samurai pack ♪

♪ He'll break up the party ♪

♪ If he's not on the potty ♪

♪ You don't have to worry
He's got fists of fury ♪

♪ His masterful karate kicks
Turns dragon into chopsticks ♪

♪ Here comes Chuckie Chan ♪

♪ Here comes Chuckie Chan ♪

♪ He's always ready
When there's danger at hand ♪

♪ Here comes Chuckie Chan ♪

♪ Here comes Chuckie Chan ♪

♪ Martial arts expert of Reptarland ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪
- Yeah, that'll be the day.

♪ Here comes Chuckie Chan ♪

♪ He makes bad guys say they're sorry
With the side of his hand, ow! ♪

♪ Here comes Chuckie Chan ♪

♪ Here comes Chuckie Chan ♪

♪ Martial arts expert of Reptarland ♪

[exclaims, gasps]

♪ Go, Chuckie! ♪

[Tommy] Hello?

Chuckie! You gots to get ready.

[gasps] Huh?

Angelica says we're gonna get to see
the princess in a show with Reptar.

This could be your chance.

[gasps] I'm gonna meet the princess?

Yep.

I'm gonna meet the princess!

[gasps] Gee, Tommy,
maybe I should take her a present.

Something real nice, so she knows
how much I want her to be my mommy.

You want a princess to be your mom?

- But what about Coco?
- [all] Who?

Mr. Chuckie's dad's girlfriend.
The Reptarland lady.

That lady's not the princess, Angelica.

Yeah! I'm gonna get the real princess
for my mommy.

Listen up, babies!

I'm supposed to ride in my own parade,

on a float with lots of pink tarnations
and ponies,

and you'd better not mess it up for me!

[groans] I know somebody who needs a nap.

[speaking French]

The show's gonna start!
Who gots the cookies?

- Right here!
- Oh, yum!

- Yeah! Tasty.
- Looks like a booger.

Bonjour, mes amis.
Let me show you to your seats.

Thank you for the inhaler, Coco.

Whenever I wheeze, I'll think of you.

Who said Americans are not romantic?

Oh, how is Coco's favorite boy?

[snorting]

Oh, uh, he must be excited about the show.

[groans]

Eating this goo is making my tummy bubbly.

[gasps] I thought you could
only do that in the bathtub.

Hi, Mr. Chuckie's dad's girlfriend.
How's my float coming along?

Fabulous. We're just waiting
for the matching ponies.

And I still get the float

if Mr. Chuckie's dad marries
a princess 'stead of you, right?

What? Why do you ask?

'Cause, um, well. um...

The Finster kid is planning
on getting a princess for a mom.

[chuckles] And let's face it, lady,
you're no princess.

Not a princess? Well!

If the tiara fits, wear it.

Ooh, I smell trouble.

- [actor shrieking]
- [Reptar roaring]

[roars]

- [gasps]
- [diva sings high note]

Oh! The princess!

[people gasping]

She's beautiful!

♪ Reptar ♪

♪ He's no ordinary monster ♪

♪ He's a lizard with a heart of gold ♪

♪ Don't believe the lies
You've been told ♪

♪ He's a fire-breathing child to me ♪

♪ I see sweetness when I look ♪

♪ Into those large yellow eyes ♪

♪ He's got a sensitive stare ♪

♪ One that can hypnotize ♪

♪ He may be rough ♪

♪ On the outside ♪

♪ But inside... ♪

- I hate it when they sing.
- ♪ He's just a love child ♪

♪ He's the kindest monster
I've ever met... ♪

See how nice his head stays on?

♪ You're not one ♪

♪ Reptar, I'll protect you ♪

♪ Reptar, I'll hold you ♪

♪ And I'll be there for you, Reptar ♪

♪ And never go away... ♪

[screams]

♪ Reptar, I'll protect you ♪

♪ Reptar, I love you ♪

♪ And I'll be there for you ♪

♪ Chuckie ♪

♪ Forever and a day ♪

Forever and ever.

♪ I'll be there for you... ♪

Wow! He's sharing Wawa!

♪ Forever and a day! ♪

[gasps]

- Madame LaBouche?
- [gasps]

[grunting]

[audience applauding]

- That lady's the princess?
- She can't be!

Bravo! [exclaims]

Bravo!

Isn't she talented?

Oh, gosh, you guys,
I think Chuckie and I are both in love.

- Say brie!
- [all] Brie!

- Merci.
- [indistinct chattering]

Watch the dress. Watch the dress!

Charles, I'm delighted that you've met
someone special here in Paris.

But don't you think you're rushing things?
Marriage is a big step.

Why wait, Deed?
They're two crazy kids in love.

[both laughing]

- [bell dings]
- [gasps]

[gasping, laughing]

Yum, yum!

My tummy's not been this happy in forever!

- [burps]
- [fly buzzing]

Hey! Looks like it's time for dessert.

Get us something good, Dilly.

[Dil giggles]

Sure is gonna be great having
my princess mommy.

Isn't it?

Of course it is, Chuckie.

Then how come I don't feel so good?

Well, uh...

Maybe this thing is too tight.

Do you see those sticky fingers?

Jam-covered mouths? Dirty little faces?

Disinfect them!

Ah! What are you doing
with that mangy thing? Give me that!

[both grunting]

How dare you defy me!

You babies are in trouble now.

[seethes] You are going to be mine,
you will do things my way!

[screams]

[gasps]

Jean-Claude,
take those wretched dust mops away!

I will not have them ruining
my wedding day!

Looks like you dumb babies
will be missing the wedding.

And don't forget the big mouth too.

My pleasure, madame.

- Keep your hands off me, you big bully!
- [gasps]

What do you think you're doing?
I'm the flower girl!

I feel your pain, mademoiselle.

Unfortunately, you just got the boot.

But what about my float
and the matching ponies?

- Madame LaBouche!
- Burn this hideous, moth-eaten plaything.

I never want to see it again.

Oh...

[Coco] To Notre-Dame, and move it.

Madame LaBouche,
you cannot go through with this.

It's obvious you don't really love
Chas or Chuckie.

- Which is which again?
- [sighs]

I can no longer stand by
and watch you destroy their lives.

I'm going to tell Chas the truth!

And there's not a thing
you can do to stop me.

- [tires screech]
- [grunts]

Except throw you out on the curb.

Au revoir!

[tires screech]

Looks like our little mouse
is up for the chase. Step on it.

- [engine revs]
- [bicycle bell rings]

I'm sorry, guys.

If I didn't want a princess mommy so bad,

we wouldn't be in this terrible place.

It's not so terrible.

I mean, at least we gots Reptar
to keep us company.

Well, I decided I don't want
a princess mommy no more.

I don't need the magic and sparkly dust.

Alls I wants is a real mommy
like you guys gots.

I want a mommy who smiles
and talks nice to me

and tucks me in at night
and tells me stories.

And... who loves me.

Oh, come on, Finster. Don't cry.

I can't help it, Angelica.

I feel bad.

My daddy's marrying a lady
who doesn't like me

or my Wawa or my friends.

Actually, Finster, it's sort of my fault.

What do you mean, Angelica?

Well, let's see, where do I start?
It's like this.

Mr. Yummyhoochie was on TV,

and he told the French lady you can't have
joy if you don't got a heart.

Well, she had one in a jar, but she
still needed a spiny man with a kid.

So I told her how you wanted
a princess mom,

and she was supposed to give me
my own pony float,

but she made the whole thing up!

[seethes]

I helped that lady trick your daddy
into marrying her!

[all gasp]

You did? But...

Bad yucky! Bad!

Now, pipe down, drooly!

Dilly's right! That's one of the worstest
things you've ever done, Angelica!

I know it was bad. Even for me.

But sometimes I just can't help myself.

I'm sorry, Chuckie.

[gasps] You guys,

I can't let that lady marry my daddy!

It's like you always say, Tommy,

"A baby's got to do
what a baby's got to do."

And we gots to stop that wedding!

How are you gonna do that, Chuckie?

Um, actually, I was hoping
that you had an idea, Tommy.

Hmm.

[pipe organ playing]

♪ I love you truly ♪

- ♪ Truly, dear ♪
- Huh? [grunts]

Oh, Betty!

Finally we get to see an authentic
Parisian landmark: Notre-Dame.

Eh, you seen one church, you seen 'em all.

Wake me if you spot a hunchback.

Uh, I wonder where Jean-Claude is
with the kids.

I can't start without my little guy.

What do you think you're doing?

Oh, I'm just, um, practicing tying shoes.

Children are so easily amused.

- [roaring]
- [gasps]

Sacrebleu!

Thank you for flying Air Angelica.

[grunts] See, Chuckie?
I told you we could do it.

Yeah, if we could just find the door.

[all screaming]

Uh, there's one.

Hey, ya dumb babies, wait for me!

[screaming]

- Tommy, we forgetted Angelica.
- You say that like it's a bad thing.

- Chuckie, we gots to go back.
- I don't know if I can, Tommy!

I barely know how to go forward.

Wait for me!

Do you know how hard it is
to run in a flower girl dress?

[panting]

I'm opposed to be at that wedding!

Take me to the church!

- [screaming]
- [Lil] Wow.

Reptar's boogers look just like Angelica.

Hold on, Angelica!

[screaming]

- Good catch, Chuckie!
- [coughing]

This is not the parade I wanted!

♪ I love you truly... ♪

Keep that Kira out
until after the very last "I do"!

♪ Truly, dear... ♪

Goodness! Here comes the bride!

Without the Wedding March?

- Without the flower girl?
- Without Chuckie?

[singing continues]

- Go, go, go! Start.
- Coco, we can't start yet.

- Chuckie's not here.
- Darling, we will tell him all about it.

But I want to share this moment
with my son.

- That is what videotape is for.
- [grunts]

Go ahead!

Bonjour, everyone.

I would like to welcome
the family and friends

of Monsieur and Madame...

Yes, yes, yes. They can read that
in the program. Let's begin!

- [child] What you drawing, Kimi?
- It's a green thumb.

- [child 2] It's a pickle with legs.
- [child 1] It's Reptar.

- Right!
- No, I mean, it's really Reptar!

[panicked shouting]

How do we get out of here?

Um, I think it's that way.

No, that way. Or that way.

As long as you're sure.

Hiya, Reptar!

Wow!

Kimi looks like a bug from here.

Let's pick her up!

Wow! I've never been on this ride before!

[laughing]

Whee!

Hey, pip-squeak! Get your own float!

[Jean-Claude]
Going somewhere, my reptilian friend?

- [gasps]
- You babies cannot hide

from Jean-Claude, Super-Escargot!

[chuckling]

[whispering] Would it be all right
if I said a poem to my bride?

Charles would like
to recite a poem to his bride.

It's our favorite, remember?

[gasps]

[laughing]

[panting]

[horn honks]

I'll have you babies for lunch!

But not without the proper sauce.

You want a piece of me, sluggy?

Move over, pip-squeak!
I'll show you how it's done!

- [laughing]
- [horns honking]

Stop wobbling, Chuckie!

[exclaims] Don't tell me, tell my feet.

Oh! My shell!

Stop, in the name of France!

[gasps] Look, Chuckie!
I think they want us to stop.

[Chuckie] So do !

[all exclaiming]

Okay, then. Don't stop.

- Mmm. Wha-- [gasps]
- [screams]

[siren wails]

[Tommy, Chuckie gasping]

[relieved sigh]

- "Squeaky giggles, wiggly toes...
- [phone ringing]

...teeny-tiny button nose.

- Rosy lips and soft wet kisses..."
- What?

Oh! Madame, the babies are
on their way to the church.

What? You bumbling idiot! You disgust me!

[nervous chuckle]

Um, Auntie sends her love.

Come on! Give it some gas!

- [farts]
- Ew. Dil!

No 'fense, but could somebody
maybe open a window?

Okay. Hello, guys!

'Bout time you tinkleheads
came to the rescue.

Tag! You're it!

[screaming]

[Jean-Claude]
♪ Babies go round and round ♪

♪ I'll launch them from the ground ♪

♪ They will go flying now ♪

♪ Their mommies have a cow... ♪

[all screaming]

[alarm blaring]

[all screaming]

Look! Up in the sky!

- It's a nerd!
- It's a pain!

It's... Angelica.

What's the big idea?

Are you pottyheads
trying to get rid of me?

That was the big idea.

Can you see the church?

There it is! [gasps]

[screaming]

[relieved sigh]

[Kimi] Chuckie, you're my hero.

[Chuckie stammering] Hang on, you guys.

I think I got a wedgie.

"Grasping fingers, dimpled chin,

pudgy bellies, velvet skin."

Enough poetry! Marry us now!

[Tommy] Look, Chuckie, we're almost there!

[Angelica] Yeah, there's the church.

[Jean-Claude] Hello, my toddling tourists.

This is where your tour of Paris
comes to an end!

Chuckie, we gots to beat Robosnail,

or that mean lady's
gonna be your new mommy!

Over my dad's potty!

En garde, babies!

- [chortling]
- [grunts]

[grunting]

[chortling]

Out of my way, slug-face!

Ha! Take that!

And that!

[exclaiming]

[screaming]

- [Tommy] You did it, Chuckie!
- Yeah, I did!

Now let's go save my daddy.

For better or worse. Next!

For richer or--

- Poorer! Sickness--
- And in health.

Oh, must we repeat everything?

[exclaiming]

- [person] What is going on?
- [person 2] I don't know.

Oh, dear Lord, I skipped a section!

[Tommy] Hurry, Chuckie!

[grunting]

- Hey! Look what I found.
- Papie clips and bubber bands!

[gasps]

[screaming]

I'm coming, Daddy!

Go, Chuckie, go!

- [Phil] Hurry!
- [Lil] You can do it, Chuckie!

[growling]

[gasps]

If anyone objects to this union,

- speak now or forever hold your peace.
- [gulps]

[growling]

[shuddering]

I gots to be brave. I gots to be brave.

No!

Chuckie?

[all gasping]

He said his first word. He's talking!

No!

Chuckie! Chuckie!

[sobbing]

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
Daddy's here.

Oh! And so is his new mommy.

- Come here, little boy.
- [gasps]

No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

Madame! [sobbing]

Our kidnapping plot has failed!

Ignore that unemployed fool.

Coco, the wedding is off.

You are not the woman I thought you were.

[Angelica] Hey, lady.

Looks like your plan to trick
Mr. Yummy-sushi didn't work after all.

Pretty flower girls should be seen,
not heard.

I would like to hear
what the little one has to say.

Okay, but listen good,
'cause I'm tired of telling this story.

That cuckoo lady told her boss
she had a kid's heart in a jar,

and she was gonna marry
Mr. Chuckie's daddy

just so she could be president.

- Listen, you traitor!
- Now, Miss LaBouche.

- [nervous chuckle]
- You are dismissed.

Dismissed? But no one fires Coco LaBouche.

Coco LaBouche fires others!

Coco LaBouche is EuroReptar.

Off the gown, you revolting carpet mice!

- [all exclaim]
- [gasping]

Listen, lady! Nobody messes
with my dumb babies 'Cept me!

[scoffs]

I see London, I see France!

I see Coco's underpants!

Well, take a picture!

This is the last time you will see Coco
or her underpants!

[gasps, seething]

- [Coco wailing]
- [Spike barking]

- [exclaiming]
- [growling]

Bad dog! Bad dog!

Oh!

- Coco! Wait!
- [barking]

Go get him, Spike!

Looks like Spike found himself
a little patootie.

Come here, my little pumpkin pies!
[laughing]

- Tommy, Dil!
- Smile for the camera!

- [Charlotte] What a holiday!
- [Kira] Chuckie.

I have something that belongs to you.

Thank you, Kira.

Chas, I am so sorry.

I wanted to tell you about Coco, but--

No, no, no. It's my fault, Kira.

I guess I got caught up
in the romance of Paris.

I'm sorry, little guy.

"Oh, how my heart beats wild..."

"Each time I hold my precious child."

Wait! You know that poem?

Oh, it is my favorite.

[Stu] And now the bride and groom
will cut the cake.

Now, be careful, Kira,
the knife is very sharp.

Wasn't the wedding beautiful?

Yeah, I'm just glad I didn't have
to return the toaster oven this time.

Let me put it to you this way, Bobfather.

We've been back home
for a bunch of yesterdays,

and you still haven't delivered the goods!

You gots your mommy wish,
so what do I get, Snotfather?

Angelica, you show him no aspect!

You can't talk to him like...

Angelica.

You come to me on the day
of my daddy's wedding

to ask me for Cynthia Chateau

and the matching ponies

and a bunch of, just...

stuff that I can't never get you.

There you are, you guys!

Come on. The growed-ups
are giving away all the cake!

- Cake? Game over!
- [Lil] Yay!

[all exclaiming]

Wawa's a really nice bear.

Thanks. My old mommy gived him to me.

Do you ever miss her?

Sometimes.

But then I 'member that she's
up there watching me from heaven.

I guess I'm lucky.

I got two mommies to look after me now.

There's my little guy.

Kimi? Sweetheart?

May I have this dance?

[grunts] Mmm!

Chuckie, would you like to dance
with your new mommy?

♪ When you love ♪

♪ You're not alone ♪

♪ The one you love ♪

♪ Is there beside you ♪

♪ Never lost ♪

- ♪ Or on your own... ♪
- Let me at that cake!

Hey, lady, ever hear of a thigh blaster?

Cynthia! That frosting flower has
our names bitten all over it!

[gasps]

Who do you babies think you are?

Well, I'm Tommy, and this is Lil...

- And she calls us dumb.
- Give me that cake right now!

- Good throw, Dilly.
- That's it! Prepare to meet your caker!

Hey, guys! What you doing?

Hey, Susie!

[gasps]

Cakey!

[all gasping]

[exclaims]

Whee!

Well, Tommy,

I guess this is how it's gonna be
from now on.

♪ Who let the dogs out? ♪

♪ Who, who, who, who, who? ♪

♪ Who let the dogs out? ♪

♪ Who, who, who, who, who? ♪

♪ Who let the dogs out? ♪

♪ Who, who, who, who, who? ♪

♪ Who let the dogs out? ♪

[singing, indistinct]

♪ Who let the dogs out? ♪

♪ Who, who, who, who, who? ♪

♪ Who let the dogs out? ♪

♪ Who, who, who, who, who? ♪

♪ Who let the dogs out? ♪

♪ Who, who, who, who, who? ♪

♪ Who let the dogs out? ♪

♪ Who, who, who, who, who? ♪

[singing, indistinct]

♪ Who let the dogs out? ♪

♪ Who, who, who, who, who? ♪

[hip-hop music playing]

♪ Do you wanna play outside? ♪

♪ And come with me?
It's such a lovely day ♪

♪ I want to go and stay ♪

♪ Wanna come with me on my getaway? ♪

♪ Do you wanna play outside ♪

♪ And come with me?
It's such a lovely day ♪

♪ I want to go and stay ♪

♪ Wanna come with me on my getaway? ♪

♪ When you don't know what to do ♪

♪ Wanna play and have some fun ♪

♪ Gotta find a place to go ♪

♪ Just you and me alone with no one ♪

♪ Somewhere when skies are blue ♪

♪ Fresh air and sunny too ♪

♪ Let's go on an escapade ♪

♪ Just follow me, and I'll lead the way ♪

♪ Do you wanna play outside ♪

♪ And come with me?
It's such a lovely day ♪

♪ I want to go and stay ♪

♪ Wanna come with me on my getaway? ♪

♪ Do you wanna play outside ♪

♪ And come with me?
It's such a lovely day ♪

♪ I want to go and stay ♪

♪ Wanna come with me on my getaway? ♪

♪ We can have a barbecue ♪

♪ Eat cake and candy too ♪

♪ Pretend it's a holiday ♪

♪ Your day, my day
His day and her day ♪

♪ This is a special way ♪

♪ To make you feel okay ♪

♪ Anyplace you wanna go ♪

♪ Enjoy yourself
Make the best of your day ♪

♪ Do you wanna play outside ♪

♪ And come with me?
It's such a lovely day ♪

♪ I want to go and say ♪

♪ Wanna come with me on my getaway? ♪

♪ Close your eyes ♪

♪ Leave the world behind ♪

♪ Find a place ♪

♪ Deep inside ♪

♪ Where ♪

♪ You imagine ♪

♪ That love ♪

♪ Never dies ♪

♪ In the night ♪

♪ When you reach for me ♪

♪ In your heart ♪

♪ Hear my sigh ♪

♪ Now ♪

♪ And forever ♪

♪ Will you remember ♪

♪ When you love ♪

♪ You're not alone ♪

♪ The one you love ♪

♪ Is there beside you ♪

♪ Never lost ♪

♪ Or on your own ♪

♪ A gentle hand ♪

♪ Is there to guide you ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Like the sun ♪

♪ I am shining down ♪

♪ Through the veil ♪

♪ Through the clouds ♪

♪ When ♪

♪ You can see me ♪

♪ You must believe me ♪

♪ That when you love ♪

♪ You're not alone ♪

♪ The one you love ♪

♪ Is there beside you ♪

♪ Never lost ♪

♪ Or on your own ♪

♪ A gentle hand ♪

♪ Is there to guide you ♪

[vocalizing]