Round Trip to Heaven (1992) - full transcript
Since Larry works at a garage, he gets to use one of the Rolls Royces. There is only one problem, there is a briefcase full of money in the trunk. So when Larry and his cousin Steve decide to go to Palm Springs to look for Ms. Right at a popular beauty pageant, the owner of the briefcase will do the impossible to get it back.
("Home in my Heart")
♪ You got a home in my heart ♪
♪ It's always there for you ♪
♪ You got a smile that's so bright ♪
♪ Oh, it's true ♪
♪ As I surrender to
that look in your eyes ♪
♪ The search is over now that I realize ♪
♪ You are my answer to love ♪
♪ Took me so long to see ♪
♪ You were there for me ♪
♪ I should've known from the start ♪
♪ That heaven was not too far ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ You are my answer to love ♪
♪ Took me so long to see ♪
♪ You were there for me ♪
♪ I should've known from the start ♪
♪ That heaven was not too far ♪
♪ Now you've got a home in my heart ♪
(dramatic music)
- Watch him.
- You guys double dating?
- Fuck you.
Where's the money?
- First I wanna see the goods.
- [Man] Look out, he's got a gun.
(rifle booming)
Fuck!
(groaning)
(tires screeching)
(upbeat music)
(honking)
(siren wailing)
(shooting)
(glass breaking)
(honking)
(tires squealing)
(honking)
(yelling)
- Shit!
Fuck me!
(engine rumbling)
(engine clanking)
(children chanting)
- Don't do that, young man.
Stay right there.
(moaning)
(honking)
- Miss.
- Call me Molly.
- Mrs. Ivenstein.
(children chanting)
- Boingo's up there and he's not done yet.
I mean, he's not finished rehearsing.
- I'm Boingo here, I'm a clown,
do you see that I'm a clown.
(honking)
(chanting)
- He's coming, very shortly.
He'll be arriving downstairs.
(laughing)
(moaning)
- Yes!
(booing)
- You stink!
Get out of here!
- No, no, Mrs, I didn't
need that anyway, that was -
- The bear says to the chicken,
that's not a hamburger,
that's a pickle.
(booing)
- Boingo.
Boingo.
- Larry.
- Larry.
That was ...
How much?
(dramatic music)
- I got to call you back.
What the hell?
(sirens wailing)
- Hold it right there, asshole.
Hands up, behind your head,
asshole, lock the fingers.
- [Officer] Alright, on the
hood, hands behind your back.
Get him in the back.
- Hey, hey, hey, what's going on here?
- Police business, sir,
everything's under control.
Look, we're going to take
him down and book him.
- [Officer] Jim, I'll see
you back at the station.
- Hey, little girl, don't look so blue,
Boingo has got a surprise for you.
Watch the handkerchief.
There you go.
- Thanks.
- Bye, little girl.
Bye, kids.
- [Children] Bye, Boingo!
(honking)
- Bye, kids.
- You turkey.
- Next time I show up at
a party where the kids
are one second older than
preschool age, I'm out of there.
- Well, one thing's for sure,
Boingo is fun for the whole family.
- That's funny.
- Well, I should be so lucky, you know.
- Oh, yeah, you've got
a lot to complain about.
Your dad sends you off to
Europe to go to college
and I'm stuck here slaving
my ass off all summer
with two jobs, not one, but two.
- Come on, Larry, you know your dad
would've done the same thing.
- Yeah, I guess you're right.
- [Steve] Boingo, I mean you
got to admit, it's funny.
I mean you do look pretty cute.
- [Larry] We'll just see
how funny it is, my friend,
when you're standing in line
to see the world premier of
Boingo, the motion picture.
- [Steven] Oh, yeah, I'm sure
they're going to be lining
up the block to see that one.
- Lucille.
- Hi.
- Hey, what's going on?
This is my cousin, Steven.
- Hi, Steve.
From New England, right?
- That's right, hi.
- Well, I guess maybe
I'll see you guys later.
- Yeah, maybe we'll come
by for a slice, definitely.
- She is cute.
She one of your conquests?
- Lucille?
- Yeah.
- No, she's like family.
We go back for years.
No sex involved.
- Oh, pity.
- I guess.
- If you're coming to screw
with me I'm going to bust your
head open before you can say Pete Rose.
- Mike, Mike, it's us, Larry and Steve,
don't worry about it.
- So, what, I'm here closing up.
- Yeah, well that's kind
of why I showed up now
because I wanted to let you know.
- And that's the last damn time,
you can bet your ass on that.
First there was only weekends.
Then it was the film
school every Monday night.
How am I supposed to run a business here?
- Like I was saying -
- A while ago, the cops caught some clown
out there in the yard.
- A clown?
- Probably trying to steal
the Rolls if you ask me.
Speaking of which, that
Rolls is got to be finished
first thing Monday morning.
Which is two days after tomorrow,
in case you're not counting.
- Well, as a matter of fact,
I'm going to be in here
first thing tomorrow,
so you really don't have
anything to worry about.
- I got news for you, pal.
I'm out of here.
- Okay.
- I'm driving out of town for the weekend
and I don't want any funny business here.
And if the Rolls isn't
finished Monday morning,
look for a new job, that's a promise.
- It's my kind of good day.
- Just in time.
So, I trust you're all packed.
- I don't think I can do it, Uncle Jerry.
- Oh come one, you just grab some things
and you stuff them in a
suitcase and you're all set.
- I mean, I don't think I can go.
- Uh, this has been a dream
of yours for how long now?
- I know, but maybe it was
just meant to be that, a dream
because reality is I'm going
to be way out of my league.
Like, way out.
- Missy, if you're out
of your league it's only
because your head and shoulders
above the rest of them.
- Uncle Jerry, you know as well as I do -
- What I know is, you got
to follow your dreams.
- So, you'll take off early
tonight, you'll go home,
you'll pack, you'll get
a good night's rest.
I got a cab coming nine
o'clock tomorrow morning
take you to the airport.
(laughing)
- That's gross.
- Come on, you're gorgeous
already, let's go.
- Gorgeous, you want to see gorgeous,
let me show you gorgeous.
- Miss April Summer, now
this my friend is gorgeous.
- Oh yeah, the Miss Perfect you called
and told me about once at two AM, my time.
She's beautiful alright.
I wouldn't do that, I mean if
you keep sucking on that photo
you're going to get ink poisoning and die.
- I may put my mouth on her for real.
I'd gladly die.
- You die and I'll go get some pizza.
(singing in foreign language)
- You know the last time
I saw a look like that
was in your mother's eyes.
God rest her soul.
She was looking at your dad
and the next thing you know
there was a little pizza in the oven.
- Uncle Jerry.
- You better serve it to
him before it gets cold.
(upbeat music)
Here you go.
Nice to see people are enjoying my food.
Listen, you got to promise,
not a word of this to Lucille,
she'd kill me.
Open it up, look inside.
They didn't put her picture in there,
just some of the more
well known models I guess,
but she's in there.
- Lucille Johnson.
Sponsored by Uncle Jerry's Pizza Emporium.
- Let me see.
- I didn't know that Lucille was a model.
- Oh yeah, she's been doing
quite a little bit of it.
On the side.
Eye glasses, janitorial
supplies, you know, local stuff.
Last week she did a thing for
the Turner Rose Association
up in Bakersfield.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- God, that's impressive.
- Oh my God, I don't
believe it, look at that.
- Oh my God.
- [Jerry] What is it, you know her?
- Yes.
Well, not yet.
- Well, I just wanted
to share it with you.
I mean, hell, you've known
her since junior high school.
It's kind of nice when
something like this happens
to one of your own, huh?
- Yeah, yeah, no that's great.
No, I'm really happy for you.
That's really great.
- Would you like another pizza?
- Hey, Jerry?
- Yeah.
- Wow, we just inhaled a pizza for 12.
Hey, Larry, didn't you say those girls
were going to cook us dinner tonight?
- Ah, shit.
(laughing)
- Come on, you got to finish.
- Yvonne, really, I can't have -
- Yvette, silly, you keep
calling me Yvonne, it's Yvette.
- I knew that, I knew that actually.
I was making sure you remembered -
(laughing)
Oh, thank you, thank you.
So, you guys made it all yourselves, huh?
- Yeah.
We used up all the good
shit in the house too.
Heinz 57 sauce,
ginseng
and a couple cans of
anchovies paste for the taste.
- And you know what the ginseng is for.
- That would be sex, right?
- Mm hmm.
- Yeah, well we should probably find out
if that's working at all.
Wait, I can feel it.
It's happening, I can feel it.
Let's go, I don't want to lose this.
This is good.
- Hey, is your friend going to stay
in the bathroom all night?
- Oh, well probably not.
That would probably be a good
thing if he didn't do that
because if he was in the
bathroom then he wouldn't be
doing this ginseng thing or sex or.
(knocking)
Yo, Steve, it's time for desert
and you should probably
come get it yourself.
(toilet flushing)
(panting)
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, it must have been something I ate.
Earlier.
- [Tina] What flavor you like?
(upbeat music)
- Hey, wait a minute.
We've got plenty of time, you know.
- Okay, we got passion fruit, banana,
a little lime thing going here.
- You know, if it's any help,
any one of those will do Muffy just fine.
- Muffy?
I thought you said your name was Tina.
♪ Just like you wanted to ♪
♪ This time around you know, my friend ♪
♪ You won't be playing with me ♪
♪ You hurt me before ♪
♪ The pain hasn't faded away ♪
♪ But now you're back in my arms ♪
♪ You've taken my heart ♪
♪ You tore it apart ♪
♪ What do you want from me now ♪
♪ I gave you my love ♪
♪ But it's not enough ♪
(moaning)
It's coming.
- Oh, yes!
Yes!
(gagging)
(yelling)
- [TV] This in Entertainment News.
Palm Springs will get
even hotter this weekend
as some 25 beautiful young women
will complete for the title
of Miss Future Top Model of the Year.
The event will feature up and
comers of professional model
and will be held at the Tropics Hotel
where thousands of spectators
are expected to turn out.
- I don't believe it.
- Believe it, baby.
Oh, yeah.
- I got it.
- Uh huh.
- I got it.
- Oh, yeah.
- I got it, I got it, I got it!
I got it!
I got it, I got it, I got it,
I got it, I got it, I got it.
I got it, Steve.
- You got it, I heard,
I'm very happy for you.
- Listen, asshole, I
don't know what the hell
you think you got because it wasn't me.
You couldn't get a fucking sock off.
Where the hell's Tina at?
- Come on, Yvette, we're out of here.
You kinky bastard.
- Well, I -
- Kinky?
- Asshole barfed on me, man.
- [Yvette] Oh, great.
- You're sick, you barfed on her?
You barfed on Tina, man?
That's really good, I
should've thought of that.
Actually, what I did think of,
April Summers, this
weekend in Palm Springs.
Rolls Royce at shop.
Keys to Rolls Royce at shop.
Larry and Steve -
- Alright, let me get this straight,
you want us to take the Rolls
Royce and go to Palm Springs?
I think not.
- What do you mean?
- What do you mean, what do I mean?
- I mean, think about it.
I mean, I mean, April
Summers is going to be there.
Imagine the possibilities.
(light music)
(climatic music)
("Only You")
♪ Only you ♪
♪ Can make all this world seem right ♪
♪ Only you ♪
♪ Can make the darkness bright ♪
♪ Only you and you alone ♪
♪ Can trill me like you do ♪
♪ And fill my heart
with love for only you ♪
♪ Only you ♪
♪ Can make all this change in me ♪
♪ For it's true ♪
♪ You are my destiny ♪
I must be dreaming.
- You are.
- You are.
- No.
- [Steve] You are.
You are dreaming.
Wake up.
- Hey, hey.
Oh, your timing is for shit.
I had a vision.
(dark music)
- [Melvin] Well, hell if I
know, sir, but he's cheap.
He took a bus and he
got off at Glover Street
and right now he is on foot walking, sir.
- [Chief] Jesus Christ,
if he got off the bus
of course he's on foot, walking.
- Right now, he's looking
in the window of some.
- Stereo shop.
- Stereo shop.
- [Chief] Well, make
sure you don't lose him.
We let him out for a reason, goddamn it.
Now, just keep in touch, over and out.
- That is a filthy habit, Ed,
really it is a very
filthy disgusting habit.
- Don't start preaching to me, Melvin.
If I want to hear a sermon,
I'll go to church, okay?
- That is because you are still
a slave to your habit, Ed.
Not me, I have quit, smoke
stoppers, I am now a free man.
Pork rind?
- I don't want to burst
your bubble, Mr. Wonderful,
but it's only been a week
since you quit smoking.
One lousy week.
You're right.
- I don't believe this, you want to bet?
- A whole month?
- Yeah.
- Maximum bet?
- Oh, maximum bet.
Yeah, yeah okay.
Maximum bet, why not.
- We are going to Palm
Springs this weekend.
Do you understand?
That car does not have
to be done until Monday.
That means we have the whole
weekend with the Rolls Royce.
A Rolls Royce, a black Rolls
Royce with a convertible.
- Don't start with that again, okay?
There is no way in hell
that we are taking that car
to Palm Springs.
♪ Round, round, get around, I get around ♪
I'm telling you this is not a good idea.
- [Larry] What's not a good idea?
♪ Get around, round round I get around ♪
♪ From town to town ♪
♪ Get around round round I get around ♪
♪ I'm a real cool head ♪
♪ Get around round round I get around ♪
♪ I'm making real good bread ♪
♪ Get around round round I get around ♪
♪ I'm getting bugged driving up
and down the same old strip ♪
♪ I gotta find a new place
where the kids are hip ♪
♪ My buddies and me are
getting real well known ♪
♪ Yeah, the bad guys know
us and they leave us alone ♪
- Follow your dreams.
- Fuck me.
- Damn it we got to wrap it,
he's running across the street.
- He's running across the street, sir.
- [Chief] What do you mean
he's running across the street?
♪ I get around ♪
- [Cab Driver] Hey, hey, hey.
Hey!
- Catch that Rolls.
I mean now.
- We're on him like fuck on a skunk.
- And we are -
- And.
- We're on him.
- I feel more like following him
if you take that big
ass gun out of my neck.
- Who said follow, asshole, I said catch.
- This is not right, let go of me.
- Shut the fuck up, hey cabbie,
did you ever seen anybody
get shot in the face,
I mean, this close, like pow, like that.
- Hey, girl, girl listen to me.
Would you sit back and shut up?
♪ To leave their best girl
home now on Saturday night ♪
♪ I get around ♪
♪ Get around round round I get around ♪
♪ From town to town ♪
♪ Get around round round I get around ♪
♪ I'm a real cool head ♪
♪ Get around round round I get around ♪
- Can't I just get out of the car?
- You want to get out?
She wants to get out.
Sure, you can get out.
Here you go, go ahead, get the fuck out.
- Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, wait a minute!
Hey, hey, hey, look, look, look,
we don't need to do that shit,
the girl don't want to go no where?
Hey come on, look.
- Shut up, you just keep fucking driving
and shut your fucking mouth.
- Hey girl, listen to me,
would you just sit back.
Look, she going to sit back,
she going to be quite this time, alright.
You know, your ass ain't
made out of rubber.
Shit, this was supposed to
have been my day off too.
Ain't no way in hell
I'm going to be able to
explain this to my old lady.
Anything particular you want me to do
once I catch this Rolls Royce?
- Just catch it, I'll do.
(upbeat music)
(beeping)
- Hey, man, what are you doing?
I got to pay for this!
- I'm getting tired, why
don't you drive for a while?
- It's wicked city, man.
- Just drive, okay ready.
Hold the wheel, are you ready?
- What are you, sick?
Are you crazy?
- Take the wheel, there
you go, no problem.
(tires squealing)
("In the Summertime")
♪ In the summertime when
the weather is hot ♪
♪ You can stretch right
up and touch the sky ♪
♪ When the weather's fine ♪
♪ You got women, you
got women on your mind ♪
♪ Have a drink, have a drive ♪
♪ Go out and see what you can find ♪
♪ If her daddy's rich
take her out for a meal ♪
♪ If her daddy's poor
just do what you feel ♪
♪ Speed along the lane ♪
- I know we're short of staff,
that's the kind of mundane matter
I pay you to deal with, right?
Okay, I've got much more
important, my hands are full
details out here, okay.
Alright.
(slow music)
(laughing)
What?
Yeah, yeah, no, you're beautiful,
I said you're beautiful.
Now get your beautiful
self on the damn phone
and find somebody, okay.
Yeah, I'll keep in touch,
I got to run now, okay.
Hi.
I'm George Palermo,
I'm the manager of this
incredible establishment
and as you happen to be
quite incredible yourself,
I was thinking that maybe you,
this your first time in Palm Springs?
- Palm Springs?
Man, I can't go back home to my old lady
with no fucking tan.
- Yes sir, Captain, that
is what I said, sir.
Palm Springs, over.
- [Captain] What the fuck -
(static)
- We can't hear you, sir.
I lost you after what the fuck, over.
- [Captain] Stupid fuck ups.
- That part we got.
- Gee, we got that part, sir, over.
- Asshole.
(lively music)
- Ain't no way we going to
catch no damn Rolls Royce
out on no highway.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
we'll have to catch up
to them in Palm Springs.
(engine clanking)
- We ain't going to make
it to Palm Springs either.
- Can we, can we stop.
I have to go to the bathroom.
- Hey, hey, what the fuck are you doing?
You don't stop this car
til I tell you to stop it.
- I'm serious, I have a weak bladder.
- Weak bladders, I know about them.
My old lady pees so much,
she walks in a squat.
- Shut up, shut the fuck up.
- Really, I have to go.
I really have to go.
- We got a rest stop coming up.
- Shit!
- I told you we wasn't going to make it.
- Get back off the gas.
- [Cab Driver] There ain't
no gas to back off of.
- Sure is hot out here, good
thing we have a convertible.
Hi, how you doing?
- Alright.
- Give me one, two, three
dollars super unleaded.
- [Cab Driver] Man, I can't believe this.
I'm stuck out here in the desert
with a white man with a gun.
Ain't got no damn water.
I feel like a buzzard with a Nike suit on.
- [Stoneface] Shut up.
- Last thing I need is a tan,
end up looking like my cousin.
He was so black he went to night school
and got counted absent.
Oh, shoot.
Oh now look, now he's pushing
me, now he's pushing me.
- [Lucille] Pervert!
(upbeat music)
- [Larry] You see that girl up there?
That looks like Lucille!
- Where?
- There.
- [Steve] It is Lucille, man.
- [Larry] Lucille!
- Did you eat my candy bar, Ed?
- No, I did not eat your candy bar.
Want a smoke?
(laughing)
- That's incredibly cruel, actually.
No, Ed, I do not need a cigar
and I'll tell you something else.
As sure as shit draws flies,
this guy is not coming
back, you know that?
- That's your professional opinion.
- Yes, yes as a matter of fact, Ed,
that is my professional opinion, yeah.
- All the more reason to wait.
- [Lucille] What are talking about?
I was kidnapped today and I
had a gun stuck in my face.
- I'm telling you that we
can't just call the cops, okay.
The cops will just complicate things.
Next thing you know we'll
be late for the pageant,
one thing after another
and then we're going to
have a lot to worry about.
- [Lucille] Well what is it
with you and this car anyway?
- What is it with me and this car?
Well, I borrowed this car.
- You see, the thing is Casanova here
wants to impress Miss April Summer.
- Who's she?
- She's his dream girl, you know.
She's this unbelievable girl
that's entering the pageant.
Same one you're in,
believe me, you'll see.
- Thank you, Steve.
(light music)
- Welcome to the Tropics.
Checking in, sir?
- Maybe.
(chattering)
- Well, good luck with your dream girl.
- Thanks and good luck
to you with your pageant
and hopefully we'll see you around.
(upbeat music)
- [Cab Driver] Man, how you
expect us to find a Rolls Royce,
a particular Rolls Royce
here in Palm Springs?
All these white people got Rolls Royce's.
There's about 50 million Rolls Royce's
here in Palm Springs.
Shoot, you should've got low jack.
- And a bellman will bring
your bags when you're ready.
- Okay, sure.
- Sorry, we're short staffed this weekend
and if I can do anything,
please let me know.
- Alright, here you go.
- Have a nice time at the Tropics.
- You bet.
They're understaffed this weekend?
- [Steve] So, what?
- [Larry] So, what?
God, you're slow.
Come on, I've got it.
- Have a seat.
I'll be right with you.
(chattering)
- Who are you?
- I'm Lucille.
- Hi, Lucille.
Monica, I have a new one.
- Well, good luck, guys.
Do your best and remember our policy.
- All for one, one for
all, everybody pitches in.
And thank you, Mrs. Rasnick
or is that, Miss Rasnick?
- Well, it's Miss, but
you may call me Stella.
- Alright, Stella.
We'll catch you around.
(chattering)
- This is size seven?
- I don't know, it was just given to me.
- I thought you were going
to wear the black bikini,
it looks great.
- You're right, it does look hot.
On me.
Doesn't it.
- Excuse me.
God, she's a bitch.
- Hi, I'm Lucille.
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
Hold on.
April Summer?
April, you have a call.
Girls, please, I repeat myself.
No more personal calls
in the dressing room.
I don't care how urgent it is.
(upbeat music)
- [MC] Alright, come on, come on,
let's hear it for these incredible ladies!
Okay and remember, results
for the swimsuit competition
will be tomorrow at the finals
for the Miss International
Future Top Model Pageant.
Alright!
(cheering)
For you boys in the front
row, take your close shot.
♪ I thought about the
ways I can make you wet ♪
♪ Now I'm memorized ♪
Let's hear it for the ladies, come on!
(cheering)
- Sure, Miss Rasnick, no problem,
I'll work your barbecue.
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Yeah, work it baby, work it ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
- Want me to go up to the room
and get you your down coat?
It's the way you want it.
Checked out any of the
girls down by the pool?
See you later.
- What a dick.
- One of the highlights of today's pageant
is definitely the
swimsuit competition, huh?
So, without further ado,
let me introduce our bathing beauties.
Back, back you pigs, you.
♪ Work it, baby, work it ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ Work it, baby, work it ♪
- There you go, hope you enjoy the women.
(cheering)
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
- Now, in case you forgot,
this is an international event.
Now, from the land down
under, under Texas, anyway,
from Mexico City, Mexico,
Miss Juanita Alvarez.
(cheering)
Oh, and last but not
least, from the big D,
small a, double l a s, Miss
Hot Damn, April Summer.
(cheering)
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ L-U-S-T, lust ♪
♪ Do it baby, do it ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
Now let's hear it for
these bathing beauties.
(cheering)
- Man, why's this always happen to me?
Everybody else can drive all
week nothing happen to them -
- Will you shut the fuck up,
I'm sick and tired of hearing
you bitch and moaning.
- Bitch?
You call this bitching?
You ain't got no idea,
you wait til I try to
explain this to my old lady.
Shit.
- Alright, alright,
alright, just, just move it.
But some foot in it, will you?
- But it's a 35 mile and hour zone, sir.
- I don't give a fuck.
Move it.
(siren wailing)
Shit.
- You can say that again.
- Pull over and act normal.
You even look sideways,
I blow the back of your
fucking head out the window.
- I got it.
You ain't got to worry
about nothing, he's white.
(CB chattering)
Is there anything wrong, Mr. Police?
- Let me see your license.
- Yeah, I got it right here, officer.
- You wait right here.
- Pardon me, officer, but
is this going to take long?
- [Officer] That depends, sir.
- Here, buy your wife a muzzle.
And remember, asshole, I
know where to find you.
- Police, police, officer.
- I told you to wait in the car.
- No, but you don't understand -
- Back in the car.
- He's a bad man, he put a -
- I said get back in the car.
- You ain't got to pull your gun,
I'm just trying to tell you
this man kidnapped my ass.
He held me hostage.
- [Officer] Sit quiet in your car.
- He held me hostage
though, he gave me money.
Kiss my ass, should've known
he wouldn't believe it.
(chattering)
- Now remember, remember,
the finals of the swimsuit competition
will be tallied and announced
tomorrow during the finals
of our Miss International
Top Model Pageant.
(cheering)
- Seventy-five dollars?
What are you trying to do, pay rent?
You going to give me a ticket for going
a few miles over the speed limit.
- Sir, sir, if you have a complaint,
go down to the police station,
you see the desk Sargent.
- But this man put me a gun to my -
- And watch the speed
limit, this isn't LA.
- This isn't LA.
(engine starting)
(lively music)
- All I wanted was a nice,
quiet summer vacation.
What am I doing?
Pushing shrimp down a
hallway in Palm Springs.
- No, no, I don't ever
remember you asking me
for a quiet summer vacation.
What I do remember is I remember
you calling me up saying
Lar, cousin, buddy o
mine, I am bored to death
and I need some excitement in my life.
So, of course, I took care of you
and gave you some excitement.
- Yeah, but in the last 24
hours I've ODed on pizza,
I heaved all over some girl,
we committed grand theft auto,
some guy is chasing us around
town with a gun, come on.
- That's excitement, that
is definitely excitement.
Yo, let's try this one.
See, what I'd tell you.
It's completely empty,
vacant, nobody lives here.
- Yeah, what if it's a late check in, huh,
did you think about that?
- Blow up that bridge when we get to it.
- Great.
- I'm telling you, Melvin,
this guy has gotten on my last nerve.
This slime ball takes
us on a three hour tour
of Palm Springs.
(knocking)
- [Bellman] Bellman, i've
got your luggage, sir.
- Yes, yes, we're in the bathroom.
I mean, I'm going to the bathroom.
I mean, go ahead and come in
and leave it in the closet.
That's what you should do.
Come ahead, yes, thank you very much.
- Anything else, sir?
- [Larry] Nope, can't
think of anything, thanks.
- Fuck you, dick.
- At last, some peace and quiet.
- Now all we need to
do is figure out a way
to get into that reception
tonight and get some tuxedos.
- Hey, why don't we just
break into the dry cleaning
and steal a couple.
- That's a great idea.
- What, why do you always think I'm lying?
What?
No, I'm telling you, this
white man jumped in my taxi
and he put a gun to my damn head.
What do you mean you going
to put a gun to my head?
Look.
No, no, no, no, no, I am not with my ho.
No, look, I ain't with no ho.
Baby, I'm telling you, it
was straight on my way home.
Don't you hang up on me!
Don't you!
Never let me explain.
It's okay.
Got me some cash.
Ha ha ha.
(light music)
- Alright, this tuxedo is
three sizes too big for me.
- I know that, Steve, what do you expect,
express tailoring, this
is not Beverly Hills.
Know what your problem is, Steve?
You're too tense, I think
you need to get laid.
How long's it been, a year or two maybe?
That's what your problem is,
too tense, you need to relax.
- No I'm not.
What if we get caught, have
you thought about that?
- We're not going to get caught.
Hi.
- Like that, helping with
the laundry delivery.
That's what it's all about,
pitching in, teamwork,
I like that.
- Right, all for one, one for all.
Yes, we like you.
- You know, I never
realized how many old people
come to live here.
- Yeah and they got the nerve
to bring their parents with them.
- Really?
(laughing)
Hey look.
- The arms are too long
and the legs are too short.
It's designed for a gorilla.
♪ Before the night is gone ♪
♪ I feel your body ♪
- What?
Oh good, I can see that not all
your taste is in your mouth.
Come on, I'll introduce you.
- No, no, no, I can't, I can't.
- Can't?
Of course you can,
all you have to do is
think with your dick,
you'll be fine, let's go.
♪ I feel your body ♪
- You see that great looking guy?
- Hi, I'm Larry Page, how are you?
This is my friend, Steve.
- Steve Weldon, hi.
(speaking in foreign language)
- Ah, you're Polish.
- Russian.
- Russian, Russian was what I was thinking
and that was my next guess, actually.
- Just my luck.
(dramatic music)
- [Stoneface] Bingo.
- Actually, I think Russian
history is really fascinating.
I read War and Peace a few times.
The Cliff Notes actually.
I think a relative of mine was from.
- St. Petersburg?
- Yeah.
- I'm from St. Petersburg.
- Really?
Wow.
I guess Disney was right,
it's a small world.
- What is this?
I thought this was punch,
it went right to my head.
- You know, we should get together.
- So, what do you do, Mr. Larry?
- Me and Steve, actually,
we're big film producers
is what we do, we make big movies.
- What kind big movies?
- You know, large ones.
The ones that make all the money actually.
Ever see Rambo?
- I love Rambo.
- No shit.
I mean, you do, really, you like Rambo.
Good, that's a good thing.
She's loves Rambo, huh.
- I could give you a few
tips on the little things
it takes, you know, to
win a beauty contest.
(speaking in foreign language)
- Excuse me, what was that?
- I do not think you make Rambo.
- Oh well, you see, I don't really think -
- Larry, Steve, wow what a surprise.
My too favorite producers.
I'm sorry for barging in, excuse me.
- Lucille.
- So, how is Sly?
- He's really good,
been working out lately,
pumping that iron, you know.
- So, give him my regards.
- Of course I will.
- You see, it doesn't really
matter how big they've become.
They never really forget
a friend from the past.
It's very rare in
Hollywood, it's very rare.
(light music)
♪ And I can't speak ♪
♪ One look in your eyes
my knees get weak ♪
- Wow.
♪ Head over heels, I'm falling fast ♪
- Excuse me.
♪ How long will the feeling last ♪
♪ Is it love ♪
- Take this for me, I'll be back.
- Take your time.
- Miss Rasnick, I was just wondering if
you wanted some fruits
because I was walking around -
- Stella, we are running
low in champagne, my dear.
- Ah, yes George, I'll be right on it.
- Oh, you want some, sure
go ahead, help yourself.
As a matter of fact, here
just take the whole plate.
- Listen, Lar, I think
I'm in with the Russian.
- You?
Miss Moscow?
- Yeah, you're not going
to believe this, listen.
She's invited me back to her room tonight
after the surprise birthday party.
- Oh, hey.
- Yeah, here's the best part,
guess who's surprise birthday party it is?
- Mine?
- No, April Summer's.
- April Summer's?
- Yeah.
- I got an idea, Steve.
- No, no, no, you don't have any ideas.
- You got to help me with this.
- It's an all girl party.
- I need your help.
- We can't.
- That's okay.
- Don't do this to me.
- It doesn't matter.
- Don't blow it.
- It's alright.
- Don't blow this for me.
- Look, like I said, sir,
I really can't give out any
information about the guests.
- Hey, I'm not asking for
his fucking medical records,
all I want is his name, okay.
In exchange for this.
Now, give it to me.
- Just his name?
- Just his name, will
you give me his name.
- Page.
- What?
- Page, Page.
- Yo, if you're going to do
that little Russian thing,
then don't forget to go downstairs
and get yourself some of
them little helmet helpers
in the gift shop.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean, don't you Steve?
I'm talking to you.
I'm talking to you about
those little sperm buckets
they got downstairs.
And oh, if I were you, I
would get the red ones.
(laughing)
Red ones.
Steve she's Russian.
Money.
Money.
Oh my God.
- Come on, lady, I know Mr.
Page has got to be staying here,
his car's in the parking lot.
- I'm sorry, sir, there's
no one by that name
registered at this hotel.
Why don't you check in the restaurant.
- Yeah.
- Have a good evening, sir.
- What's so good about it?
- He was inquiring about a Mr. Page.
Must be his exchange man.
- We are closing in on him,
Ed, I can feel it in my bones.
- Speaking of a bone.
Do you see those women going
in and out of that ball room.
- Maybe we should take this to the police.
I think we should take this to the police.
- No, no, Steve, we're not going
to take this to the police.
We're not going to spend the whole weekend
in the police station answering questions.
I mean, that's ridiculous.
You know what.
I bet you anything that the
guy Lucille was talking about
is after this money.
- Oh, shit and he's got a gun.
Larry, I don't like this,
I don't like this at all.
- What we're going to do,
we're going to put this under the bed
and we'll talk about it later.
We've got things to do.
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
Great.
Hey, everybody, they're here, come on.
Shh, turn off the light.
Hide everyone, hide, quick.
(chattering)
- [Girls] Surprise!
(cheering)
- Thanks.
(chattering)
- You sure, look again,
come on, Page with an A.
That's a W, you kidding, come here.
(phone ringing)
- [Host] Restaurant.
How many in your party?
- Faggot.
- [Host] Alright, and
that's Robertson, correct?
- Excuse me, excuse me, we are LAPD,
I'm afraid we'll have to confiscate this .
- [Ed] What the hell are you doing?
- Ed, for god's sake
you got to help me out.
I got to get something to eat.
- Not now, we're closing
in on this turkey.
Control yourself for Christ's sake.
- Ed, that is easy for you to say.
I mean you just take a
couple hits of Maalox,
you're fine for a couple
hours, I am dying here.
- I got it.
What if we help Stoneface find Mr. Page?
- How do you plan to do that?
- You just keep an eye on
him, I'll be right back.
- [Melvin] Right.
Waiter, no.
(upbeat music)
(knocking)
- Special entertainment
delivery for April Summer.
- Hey, girls, entertainment's here.
- Yeah.
- Look at this.
- Hi, where's April Summer?
- [Girl] It's your date, April.
- Hi, uh, this is entertainment,
compliments of Mr. Larry Page.
- [April] Who the hell is Larry Page?
- Larry, producer, big producer, Rambo.
- Right, Rambo, producer.
- Really?
- Yeah, sure.
Oh, why don't you go
ahead and have a seat.
Everybody get comfortable relax.
(chattering)
(upbeat music)
- Yeah, must be a lot
of wealthy people here.
- Look son, I don't want to
have to haul you into court
on charges of obstructing justice,
collaboration on the
conspiracy to commit a crime.
All I want to know is
if you too any luggage
up to Mr. Page's room?
- Yeah, I took some luggage
up to that cheap ass.
Room 407, yeah 407.
- Thank you.
Just follow my lead.
You believe our friend, Page.
You remember Page?
He used to play golf with us back in LA.
The son of a bitch must have
hit the lottery big time.
Bought himself a brand new
Rolls Royce convertible.
A Rolls Royce convertible.
(laughing)
- Yeah, yeah, the black Rolls
Royce convertible, no less.
- Yeah, you know he's staying
right here in the hotel.
Spending cash money like
it's going out of style.
Says he wants to stop by his room later on
to collect the 50 Gs he owes us.
- What room is that?
- [Ed] 407.
- Room 407, let's see,
that'll be on, what,
the forth floor I guess.
A white chocolate
covered raisinets please.
- [Ed] Let's go.
- A little junior mints
thing here, trident,
some certs, some Fi Bar Am,
just grab one of these.
(knocking)
- Melvin.
- Shh, shh, shh, he's right behind us.
- Melvin, will you please move?
- Where the hell am I
supposed to move, Ed?
- Anywhere, Melvin as long
as it's off my goddamn foot.
- Oh.
Sorry.
- Now will you check and
see if the coast is clear?
- Damn.
The SOB is sitting right outside the door.
♪ Now you know my name ♪
♪ Now I know your game ♪
♪ And if you want to know ♪
♪ My name is Boingo ♪
(clapping)
- That was very nice.
- Well, thank you, thank you very much.
- Thank the producer for me, will you?
- Yeah, yeah, I will do that.
Anyway, he said that he
wanted to meet you downstairs
in the front entrance at midnight tonight.
- And he is a producer, really?
- Would a clown lie to you?
- You can tell him I'll be there.
- You will?
I mean, you will?
Of course you will.
- But only for a little while.
- Oh, right.
- I have a pageant tomorrow.
- God, you're beautiful.
Sorry, hey.
Got to go now, bye kids!
- [Girls] Bye Boingo!
- Hi.
Little surprise for you, little girl.
Flower.
Thanks for being cool.
Bye, Lucille.
- Boingo.
- Okay, make a wish.
- Okay.
♪ Uh uh, I can't fall for that mess ♪
♪ You done thought about it ♪
♪ What a pain in the chest ♪
♪ Broke, joke, oh what a joke ♪
♪ This is serious, homey ♪
♪ It ain't no joke ♪
♪ So I'm tearing down the house ♪
♪ And you bring back ♪
♪ Be a man, not a mouse ♪
♪ You got to ride up raising ♪
♪ Green like the peas ♪
♪ I can't let you do that ♪
♪ You'll be like my cousin squash ♪
(siren wailing)
- Shit!
- [Danny] Hey, you rat bastard!
- [Man] Danny, the fucking cops, let's go!
Move it!
- You got to be kidding?
- [Man] I said move it.
- Don't make no sense.
I take it y'all going to be paying cash.
(gasping)
(speaking in foreign language)
- Shh, we cannot go here, my chaperone.
We go to your room, da?
- Da, da, we go my room.
(coughing)
My room.
- You have very beautiful eyebrows.
(soft music)
I come out soon now, Steve.
- [Steve] I'm looking forward to that.
(speaking in foreign language)
- That means, I am yours.
- [Steve] They're fake!
- They are not, we do not do
things like that in Russia.
- No, I mean the bills are fake.
Oh.
- April Summer, I presume?
- So, what is it, a musical?
Because I can sing, you know.
I did Grease in high school.
I sort of see myself as more
like the next Marilyn Monroe.
A feature film, something -
- April?
- Yeah.
- Do you think we could
talk about anything besides
the movie business for a while?
- What is more important
than the movie business?
- There's lots of things.
There's you.
There's me.
There's you.
There's this moonlit, balmy desert night.
Romance and the stars and.
(door creaking)
(speaking in foreign language)
- [Cop] Freeze!
- Look, we're LAPD.
- Keep it up, asshole.
- Look, we've got ID.
- I said, freeze.
(upbeat music)
- Son of a bitch!
Freeze!
(shooting)
- Shit!
(screaming)
Get off me!
- Shit!
Shit, man, goddamn it.
- What the?
Hell!
- Shit.
(snoring)
Goddamn it, Melvin!
- It's like fireworks going off.
- Yeah, for me too.
- Goddamn I hate this.
I hate, oh shit!
- Melvin!
Damn.
That's a badge, it's real, we're LAPD.
Now, if you two dimwits will
stop playing cops and robbers
maybe we can proceed with capturing
the real perpetrator of the crime here.
(knocking)
- My chaperone.
- Just a second, I'm coming.
Yeah, what?
(dramatic music)
Don't shoot.
Don't shoot, please.
- Shut up, not a word, you little prick.
Where's the money?
(suspenseful music)
- Fucking A.
That chick is phenomenal.
- If I ever get my hand
on that little weasel.
(groaning)
Let's go.
(popping)
Freeze!
Party's over, pal.
- Who the fuck are you?
- You really want to know, mister?
We're the police.
- Police.
(speaking in foreign language)
Gangster, police.
(speaking in foreign language)
- You know what, Larry?
This has been really interesting.
(light piano music)
- Maybe we can do this
again tomorrow night?
- I'll tell you what?
- What?
- After I win tomorrow night,
we'll celebrate together.
How's that sound?
- Sounds great.
(light piano music)
It's really pretty.
I didn't know you played.
- Thanks.
I didn't know you were a producer.
I'm sorry, you know what I mean.
- Oh.
- You remember that Halloween
party, like 1985, 1986
when you had those fake eyelashes.
You were such a baby.
- I was not.
- You were too.
- I was not.
- You were too.
- You crazy glued them to my eyes.
My eyes were stuck
together for three weeks.
- Yeah, but you look so
ridiculous sitting in class.
All the guys were laughing.
- You know, you look so different.
- Different how?
- I don't know.
You just look
really beautiful.
- Thanks, it's the makeup.
- No, I don't think so.
I really hope you win tomorrow.
- It's not about the winning.
It's about following
your dreams, you know.
- Yeah, I can relate with that.
- It's funny, you know,
we both end up here.
- Yeah, it's pretty weird.
Better let you get your beauty sleep.
Good luck.
Good night, Lucille.
- Goodnight.
Larry?
- Yeah.
- She really is very beautiful,
your friend, April Summer.
- Yeah.
- I told her you were a nice guy.
- You did?
- Yeah, without blowing
your cover, of course.
- Of course.
Thanks, goodnight.
(light piano music)
(speaking in foreign language)
(chattering)
- I told him, no one listens to me.
- Everybody shut up.
With all due respect to
the LAPD, it's my backyard
that this mess got dumped in.
- Don't start with the jurisdiction crap.
- Hold it, will you?
First off, what the
hell is with this money?
- That's drug money.
Drug money this douche bag stole.
- Who you calling a douche bag?
Fucking asshole.
- It's all fake.
- Bullshit, you're a fucking liar.
He doesn't know what he's talking about.
- Dick.
- Fuck you.
- Will you just say that again, son?
- I said, the money is all fake.
It's not worth the paper
that it's printed on.
- Who in the hell is this ding dong?
- That is my friend, big producer, Rambo.
- Producer my ass, he's a punk deef.
(speaking in foreign language)
- What the hell is she saying?
Is that Spanish or something?
- It's fucking rooskie.
- Fucking asshole!
- Commie dyke bitch.
- Hey.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Have a little respect.
These ladies are guests in our country.
- Listen you, what the hell
did she say your name was?
Rumbo?
Well, Mr. Rumbo, I will not
allow any of these interruptions
in the middle of my
investigation, you got that?
- Yes, sir, yes, sir I do.
By the way, the name's Steve.
- Who in the hell are you?
- Larry Page.
- Put your goddamn hands down.
I think we better take them all downtown,
so we can get to the bottom of this.
- Good idea.
- Good idea.
♪ I love, I love, I
love my calendar girl ♪
♪ Yeah, sweet calendar girl ♪
♪ I love, I love, I
love my calendar girl ♪
♪ Each and every day of the year ♪
♪ January ♪
♪ You start the year all fine ♪
♪ February ♪
♪ You're my little valentine ♪
♪ March ♪
♪ I'm gonna march you down the aisle ♪
♪ April ♪
♪ You're the Easter bunny ♪
♪ When you smile ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ My heart's in a whirl ♪
♪ I love, I love, I love
my little calendar girl ♪
♪ Every day, every day ♪
♪ Every day, every day ♪
♪ Of the year ♪
- Now our finalist in this
years Future Top Model Pageant.
Miss Moscow, Natasha Galena.
(clapping)
- I can't wait for this to be over,
I'm so tired of attention.
Besides, my boyfriend,
Lennie's going to meet me
at the party later.
- Yeah, well have fun for me too,
I don't think I'm going to make it.
I'm meeting George Palermo
in his suite afterwards
for a little night cap.
- I thought you were meeting
that Larry guy, the producer?
- Yeah well, he'll just have
to wait in line, won't he?
I know, you think I'm a bitch, right?
Well you know what,
that's exactly what it takes
to make it in this business.
- [MC] Miss Mexico City, Juanita Alvarez.
(clapping)
(cheering)
Miss Montreal, Cindy Devereaux.
Miss Dallas, April Summers.
(clapping)
- Oh, it's busted.
- It's okay.
- Oh, honey.
- What am I going to do, I
don't have another dress.
- I know, the promoters gave me a dress,
I know it's going to fit, sweetie.
Come on, let's try it on.
- Come on, come on.
- [MC] Miss North
Hollywood, Lucille Johnson.
Lucille Johnson.
(clapping)
- What time is it?
- Don't ask me any questions, Larry.
Fifteen hours of that
in the police station
was more than enough, thank you.
- Thank you.
- What is that, the Omar Sharif look?
(laughing)
- Yes sir, that's what
I said, sir, we got him.
But we can't come back
until tomorrow, sir.
We have a lot of loose ends
we got to tie up here, sir.
Right.
Oh, well, well thank you sir.
Damn fine job.
Right.
Right, we will bring him in tomorrow, sir.
- Let's hear it one more time
for our lovely contestants.
(clapping)
- No, no, thank you.
Thank you, oh God.
Oh, it's good to be home.
- Speaking of good, my
friend, maximum payoff.
- Okay, okay, okay,
here's your five dollars.
- No, wait, wait, wait, you
going to write me a check
for five dollars?
- My check's good.
- I don't want your
check, I want cash money.
- [Melvin] I happen to be a little short.
- If thoughts were illegal.
- What do you say we
investigate some of them bones
you was talking about.
- Melvin, my good man, we
finally agree on something.
(clapping)
- The envelope please.
Ah, the second runner up from
North Hollywood, California,
Lucille Johnson.
(clapping)
- Yeah, alright, man!
- And our first runner up.
All the way from the Soviet
Union, Natasha Galena.
(clapping)
- Way to go, Natasha!
Woo, yeah!
- And now, our new Miss Future Top Model,
from Dallas, Texas, April Summer.
(cheering)
- Alright!
- You promise to write?
- Promise.
You promise to come to St. Petersburg?
- I promise.
- You promise to come
back upstairs one hour?
- We promise.
- We promise.
- Good.
- Hey, Larry Page.
What are you dead or what?
- Oh, hi.
- How you doing?
- I was doing great about one
when we were supposed to meet.
It's now, five and five is a good time.
(light piano music)
- Well?
- Listen.
You don't understand, I'm not a producer.
I'm just a guy from LA
who installs car stereos.
You see, I had this dream
that maybe we could,
you see, I don't know, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I got to go.
Good luck with your career.
I know you're going to do great.
- Yeah, right.
I will say, you do a great clown.
- I try.
- Thanks for letting me
play, you were really sweet.
I got to go.
Bye.
- Excuse me, did you see the
girl that was sitting here
a few minutes ago playing piano?
I'm sorry.
Excuse me, did you.
I'm sorry.
- She went that way.
- Thanks.
Lucille!
("Lucille")
- Natasha, wake up.
Wake up, honey, we got to go.
♪ Lucille ♪
♪ You won't do your sister's will ♪
♪ Oh, Lucille, you won't
do your sister's will ♪
(yelling)
♪ You ran off and married,
but I love you still ♪
♪ Lucille ♪
♪ Please come back where you belong ♪
- This is sure to become an annual event
here in Palm Springs, as
quoted by Mr. George Palermo.
(laughing)
- Didn't say anything about the
shooting or anything, right?
You see, they said they
weren't going to print it
and they didn't, I'm telling you, Stella,
it just feels terrific.
Have friends in high places.
- Oh, George.
Look at that.
- Tropics Hotel, a Battle Ground.
Fuck!
♪ I been good to you baby ♪
♪ Please don't leave me alone ♪
- Come on, don't die baby.
♪ I woke up this morning ♪
♪ Lucille was not in sight ♪
♪ I asked my friends about her ♪
♪ But all their lips were tight ♪
♪ Lucille ♪
♪ Please come back where you belong ♪
♪ I been good to you baby ♪
♪ Please don't leave me alone ♪
♪ Lucille ♪
♪ Baby satisfy my heart ♪
♪ Lucille ♪
♪ Baby satisfy my heart ♪
♪ I played for it baby ♪
♪ And gave you such a wonderful start ♪
Hi.
- Hi.
- Uh, I just wanted to
catch you before you.
- Got to get back to reality.
- Yeah, but, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.
I was kind of hoping that
maybe you and me could,
maybe we could kind of go
back to reality together.
♪ You got a home in my heart ♪
♪ It's always there for you ♪
♪ You got a smile that's so bright ♪
♪ Oh, it's true ♪
♪ As I surrender to
that look in your eyes ♪
(clapping)
♪ The search is over now that I realize ♪
♪ You are my answer to love ♪
♪ Took me so long to see ♪
♪ You were there for me ♪
♪ I should have known from the start ♪
♪ That heaven was not too far ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ You are my answer to love ♪
♪ Took me so long to see ♪
♪ You were there for me ♪
♪ I should've known from the start ♪
♪ That heaven was not too far ♪
♪ Now you've got a home in my heart ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ It's must more than physiology ♪
♪ Cause when you get down to it ♪
♪ It's just the dog in me ♪
♪ When I say dog I'm not
talking about a bad thing ♪
♪ I'm mean working up a cold sweat ♪
♪ Lust on the brain ♪
♪ Because there's nothing
that I wouldn't do ♪
♪ To get next to you ♪
♪ Remember first comes lust
and then comes true blue ♪
♪ So why we're taking a
chance, dance and romance ♪
♪ Takes the magic of
lust at first glance ♪
♪ I'll be any old thing
that you want me to be ♪
♪ Your lover, your daddy,
your one and only ♪
♪ P R O double F E T ♪
♪ Steaming like a demon on a slow dance ♪
♪ Face it baby, lust at first glance ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ Do it again ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Yes ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Yo, check this out ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Your body's dope all I can do is hope ♪
♪ Give me half the chance and
you're bound to get stroked ♪
♪ Love in the morning, noon and night ♪
♪ Yeah, girl, I want to hold you tight ♪
♪ So don't get me wrong ♪
♪ No, I'm not a nympho
but I'm ready to go ♪
♪ Cruising ♪
♪ In my stretch like limo ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Yes ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Do it again ♪
♪ L-U-S-T, lust ♪
♪ Hey Proffet ♪
♪ Yeah baby ♪
♪ You want some more ♪
♪ I don't know, you know ♪
♪ I just love this shit,
you know what I'm saying ♪
♪ So, where do we go from here ♪
♪ Smooth into it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ L-U-S-T, lust ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Do it baby, do it ♪
♪ Let me feel it ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ L-U-S-T, lust ♪
♪ You got a home in my heart ♪
♪ It's always there for you ♪
♪ You got a smile that's so bright ♪
♪ Oh, it's true ♪
♪ As I surrender to
that look in your eyes ♪
♪ The search is over now that I realize ♪
♪ You are my answer to love ♪
♪ Took me so long to see ♪
♪ You were there for me ♪
♪ I should've known from the start ♪
♪ That heaven was not too far ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ You are my answer to love ♪
♪ Took me so long to see ♪
♪ You were there for me ♪
♪ I should've known from the start ♪
♪ That heaven was not too far ♪
♪ Now you've got a home in my heart ♪
(dramatic music)
- Watch him.
- You guys double dating?
- Fuck you.
Where's the money?
- First I wanna see the goods.
- [Man] Look out, he's got a gun.
(rifle booming)
Fuck!
(groaning)
(tires screeching)
(upbeat music)
(honking)
(siren wailing)
(shooting)
(glass breaking)
(honking)
(tires squealing)
(honking)
(yelling)
- Shit!
Fuck me!
(engine rumbling)
(engine clanking)
(children chanting)
- Don't do that, young man.
Stay right there.
(moaning)
(honking)
- Miss.
- Call me Molly.
- Mrs. Ivenstein.
(children chanting)
- Boingo's up there and he's not done yet.
I mean, he's not finished rehearsing.
- I'm Boingo here, I'm a clown,
do you see that I'm a clown.
(honking)
(chanting)
- He's coming, very shortly.
He'll be arriving downstairs.
(laughing)
(moaning)
- Yes!
(booing)
- You stink!
Get out of here!
- No, no, Mrs, I didn't
need that anyway, that was -
- The bear says to the chicken,
that's not a hamburger,
that's a pickle.
(booing)
- Boingo.
Boingo.
- Larry.
- Larry.
That was ...
How much?
(dramatic music)
- I got to call you back.
What the hell?
(sirens wailing)
- Hold it right there, asshole.
Hands up, behind your head,
asshole, lock the fingers.
- [Officer] Alright, on the
hood, hands behind your back.
Get him in the back.
- Hey, hey, hey, what's going on here?
- Police business, sir,
everything's under control.
Look, we're going to take
him down and book him.
- [Officer] Jim, I'll see
you back at the station.
- Hey, little girl, don't look so blue,
Boingo has got a surprise for you.
Watch the handkerchief.
There you go.
- Thanks.
- Bye, little girl.
Bye, kids.
- [Children] Bye, Boingo!
(honking)
- Bye, kids.
- You turkey.
- Next time I show up at
a party where the kids
are one second older than
preschool age, I'm out of there.
- Well, one thing's for sure,
Boingo is fun for the whole family.
- That's funny.
- Well, I should be so lucky, you know.
- Oh, yeah, you've got
a lot to complain about.
Your dad sends you off to
Europe to go to college
and I'm stuck here slaving
my ass off all summer
with two jobs, not one, but two.
- Come on, Larry, you know your dad
would've done the same thing.
- Yeah, I guess you're right.
- [Steve] Boingo, I mean you
got to admit, it's funny.
I mean you do look pretty cute.
- [Larry] We'll just see
how funny it is, my friend,
when you're standing in line
to see the world premier of
Boingo, the motion picture.
- [Steven] Oh, yeah, I'm sure
they're going to be lining
up the block to see that one.
- Lucille.
- Hi.
- Hey, what's going on?
This is my cousin, Steven.
- Hi, Steve.
From New England, right?
- That's right, hi.
- Well, I guess maybe
I'll see you guys later.
- Yeah, maybe we'll come
by for a slice, definitely.
- She is cute.
She one of your conquests?
- Lucille?
- Yeah.
- No, she's like family.
We go back for years.
No sex involved.
- Oh, pity.
- I guess.
- If you're coming to screw
with me I'm going to bust your
head open before you can say Pete Rose.
- Mike, Mike, it's us, Larry and Steve,
don't worry about it.
- So, what, I'm here closing up.
- Yeah, well that's kind
of why I showed up now
because I wanted to let you know.
- And that's the last damn time,
you can bet your ass on that.
First there was only weekends.
Then it was the film
school every Monday night.
How am I supposed to run a business here?
- Like I was saying -
- A while ago, the cops caught some clown
out there in the yard.
- A clown?
- Probably trying to steal
the Rolls if you ask me.
Speaking of which, that
Rolls is got to be finished
first thing Monday morning.
Which is two days after tomorrow,
in case you're not counting.
- Well, as a matter of fact,
I'm going to be in here
first thing tomorrow,
so you really don't have
anything to worry about.
- I got news for you, pal.
I'm out of here.
- Okay.
- I'm driving out of town for the weekend
and I don't want any funny business here.
And if the Rolls isn't
finished Monday morning,
look for a new job, that's a promise.
- It's my kind of good day.
- Just in time.
So, I trust you're all packed.
- I don't think I can do it, Uncle Jerry.
- Oh come one, you just grab some things
and you stuff them in a
suitcase and you're all set.
- I mean, I don't think I can go.
- Uh, this has been a dream
of yours for how long now?
- I know, but maybe it was
just meant to be that, a dream
because reality is I'm going
to be way out of my league.
Like, way out.
- Missy, if you're out
of your league it's only
because your head and shoulders
above the rest of them.
- Uncle Jerry, you know as well as I do -
- What I know is, you got
to follow your dreams.
- So, you'll take off early
tonight, you'll go home,
you'll pack, you'll get
a good night's rest.
I got a cab coming nine
o'clock tomorrow morning
take you to the airport.
(laughing)
- That's gross.
- Come on, you're gorgeous
already, let's go.
- Gorgeous, you want to see gorgeous,
let me show you gorgeous.
- Miss April Summer, now
this my friend is gorgeous.
- Oh yeah, the Miss Perfect you called
and told me about once at two AM, my time.
She's beautiful alright.
I wouldn't do that, I mean if
you keep sucking on that photo
you're going to get ink poisoning and die.
- I may put my mouth on her for real.
I'd gladly die.
- You die and I'll go get some pizza.
(singing in foreign language)
- You know the last time
I saw a look like that
was in your mother's eyes.
God rest her soul.
She was looking at your dad
and the next thing you know
there was a little pizza in the oven.
- Uncle Jerry.
- You better serve it to
him before it gets cold.
(upbeat music)
Here you go.
Nice to see people are enjoying my food.
Listen, you got to promise,
not a word of this to Lucille,
she'd kill me.
Open it up, look inside.
They didn't put her picture in there,
just some of the more
well known models I guess,
but she's in there.
- Lucille Johnson.
Sponsored by Uncle Jerry's Pizza Emporium.
- Let me see.
- I didn't know that Lucille was a model.
- Oh yeah, she's been doing
quite a little bit of it.
On the side.
Eye glasses, janitorial
supplies, you know, local stuff.
Last week she did a thing for
the Turner Rose Association
up in Bakersfield.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- God, that's impressive.
- Oh my God, I don't
believe it, look at that.
- Oh my God.
- [Jerry] What is it, you know her?
- Yes.
Well, not yet.
- Well, I just wanted
to share it with you.
I mean, hell, you've known
her since junior high school.
It's kind of nice when
something like this happens
to one of your own, huh?
- Yeah, yeah, no that's great.
No, I'm really happy for you.
That's really great.
- Would you like another pizza?
- Hey, Jerry?
- Yeah.
- Wow, we just inhaled a pizza for 12.
Hey, Larry, didn't you say those girls
were going to cook us dinner tonight?
- Ah, shit.
(laughing)
- Come on, you got to finish.
- Yvonne, really, I can't have -
- Yvette, silly, you keep
calling me Yvonne, it's Yvette.
- I knew that, I knew that actually.
I was making sure you remembered -
(laughing)
Oh, thank you, thank you.
So, you guys made it all yourselves, huh?
- Yeah.
We used up all the good
shit in the house too.
Heinz 57 sauce,
ginseng
and a couple cans of
anchovies paste for the taste.
- And you know what the ginseng is for.
- That would be sex, right?
- Mm hmm.
- Yeah, well we should probably find out
if that's working at all.
Wait, I can feel it.
It's happening, I can feel it.
Let's go, I don't want to lose this.
This is good.
- Hey, is your friend going to stay
in the bathroom all night?
- Oh, well probably not.
That would probably be a good
thing if he didn't do that
because if he was in the
bathroom then he wouldn't be
doing this ginseng thing or sex or.
(knocking)
Yo, Steve, it's time for desert
and you should probably
come get it yourself.
(toilet flushing)
(panting)
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, it must have been something I ate.
Earlier.
- [Tina] What flavor you like?
(upbeat music)
- Hey, wait a minute.
We've got plenty of time, you know.
- Okay, we got passion fruit, banana,
a little lime thing going here.
- You know, if it's any help,
any one of those will do Muffy just fine.
- Muffy?
I thought you said your name was Tina.
♪ Just like you wanted to ♪
♪ This time around you know, my friend ♪
♪ You won't be playing with me ♪
♪ You hurt me before ♪
♪ The pain hasn't faded away ♪
♪ But now you're back in my arms ♪
♪ You've taken my heart ♪
♪ You tore it apart ♪
♪ What do you want from me now ♪
♪ I gave you my love ♪
♪ But it's not enough ♪
(moaning)
It's coming.
- Oh, yes!
Yes!
(gagging)
(yelling)
- [TV] This in Entertainment News.
Palm Springs will get
even hotter this weekend
as some 25 beautiful young women
will complete for the title
of Miss Future Top Model of the Year.
The event will feature up and
comers of professional model
and will be held at the Tropics Hotel
where thousands of spectators
are expected to turn out.
- I don't believe it.
- Believe it, baby.
Oh, yeah.
- I got it.
- Uh huh.
- I got it.
- Oh, yeah.
- I got it, I got it, I got it!
I got it!
I got it, I got it, I got it,
I got it, I got it, I got it.
I got it, Steve.
- You got it, I heard,
I'm very happy for you.
- Listen, asshole, I
don't know what the hell
you think you got because it wasn't me.
You couldn't get a fucking sock off.
Where the hell's Tina at?
- Come on, Yvette, we're out of here.
You kinky bastard.
- Well, I -
- Kinky?
- Asshole barfed on me, man.
- [Yvette] Oh, great.
- You're sick, you barfed on her?
You barfed on Tina, man?
That's really good, I
should've thought of that.
Actually, what I did think of,
April Summers, this
weekend in Palm Springs.
Rolls Royce at shop.
Keys to Rolls Royce at shop.
Larry and Steve -
- Alright, let me get this straight,
you want us to take the Rolls
Royce and go to Palm Springs?
I think not.
- What do you mean?
- What do you mean, what do I mean?
- I mean, think about it.
I mean, I mean, April
Summers is going to be there.
Imagine the possibilities.
(light music)
(climatic music)
("Only You")
♪ Only you ♪
♪ Can make all this world seem right ♪
♪ Only you ♪
♪ Can make the darkness bright ♪
♪ Only you and you alone ♪
♪ Can trill me like you do ♪
♪ And fill my heart
with love for only you ♪
♪ Only you ♪
♪ Can make all this change in me ♪
♪ For it's true ♪
♪ You are my destiny ♪
I must be dreaming.
- You are.
- You are.
- No.
- [Steve] You are.
You are dreaming.
Wake up.
- Hey, hey.
Oh, your timing is for shit.
I had a vision.
(dark music)
- [Melvin] Well, hell if I
know, sir, but he's cheap.
He took a bus and he
got off at Glover Street
and right now he is on foot walking, sir.
- [Chief] Jesus Christ,
if he got off the bus
of course he's on foot, walking.
- Right now, he's looking
in the window of some.
- Stereo shop.
- Stereo shop.
- [Chief] Well, make
sure you don't lose him.
We let him out for a reason, goddamn it.
Now, just keep in touch, over and out.
- That is a filthy habit, Ed,
really it is a very
filthy disgusting habit.
- Don't start preaching to me, Melvin.
If I want to hear a sermon,
I'll go to church, okay?
- That is because you are still
a slave to your habit, Ed.
Not me, I have quit, smoke
stoppers, I am now a free man.
Pork rind?
- I don't want to burst
your bubble, Mr. Wonderful,
but it's only been a week
since you quit smoking.
One lousy week.
You're right.
- I don't believe this, you want to bet?
- A whole month?
- Yeah.
- Maximum bet?
- Oh, maximum bet.
Yeah, yeah okay.
Maximum bet, why not.
- We are going to Palm
Springs this weekend.
Do you understand?
That car does not have
to be done until Monday.
That means we have the whole
weekend with the Rolls Royce.
A Rolls Royce, a black Rolls
Royce with a convertible.
- Don't start with that again, okay?
There is no way in hell
that we are taking that car
to Palm Springs.
♪ Round, round, get around, I get around ♪
I'm telling you this is not a good idea.
- [Larry] What's not a good idea?
♪ Get around, round round I get around ♪
♪ From town to town ♪
♪ Get around round round I get around ♪
♪ I'm a real cool head ♪
♪ Get around round round I get around ♪
♪ I'm making real good bread ♪
♪ Get around round round I get around ♪
♪ I'm getting bugged driving up
and down the same old strip ♪
♪ I gotta find a new place
where the kids are hip ♪
♪ My buddies and me are
getting real well known ♪
♪ Yeah, the bad guys know
us and they leave us alone ♪
- Follow your dreams.
- Fuck me.
- Damn it we got to wrap it,
he's running across the street.
- He's running across the street, sir.
- [Chief] What do you mean
he's running across the street?
♪ I get around ♪
- [Cab Driver] Hey, hey, hey.
Hey!
- Catch that Rolls.
I mean now.
- We're on him like fuck on a skunk.
- And we are -
- And.
- We're on him.
- I feel more like following him
if you take that big
ass gun out of my neck.
- Who said follow, asshole, I said catch.
- This is not right, let go of me.
- Shut the fuck up, hey cabbie,
did you ever seen anybody
get shot in the face,
I mean, this close, like pow, like that.
- Hey, girl, girl listen to me.
Would you sit back and shut up?
♪ To leave their best girl
home now on Saturday night ♪
♪ I get around ♪
♪ Get around round round I get around ♪
♪ From town to town ♪
♪ Get around round round I get around ♪
♪ I'm a real cool head ♪
♪ Get around round round I get around ♪
- Can't I just get out of the car?
- You want to get out?
She wants to get out.
Sure, you can get out.
Here you go, go ahead, get the fuck out.
- Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, wait a minute!
Hey, hey, hey, look, look, look,
we don't need to do that shit,
the girl don't want to go no where?
Hey come on, look.
- Shut up, you just keep fucking driving
and shut your fucking mouth.
- Hey girl, listen to me,
would you just sit back.
Look, she going to sit back,
she going to be quite this time, alright.
You know, your ass ain't
made out of rubber.
Shit, this was supposed to
have been my day off too.
Ain't no way in hell
I'm going to be able to
explain this to my old lady.
Anything particular you want me to do
once I catch this Rolls Royce?
- Just catch it, I'll do.
(upbeat music)
(beeping)
- Hey, man, what are you doing?
I got to pay for this!
- I'm getting tired, why
don't you drive for a while?
- It's wicked city, man.
- Just drive, okay ready.
Hold the wheel, are you ready?
- What are you, sick?
Are you crazy?
- Take the wheel, there
you go, no problem.
(tires squealing)
("In the Summertime")
♪ In the summertime when
the weather is hot ♪
♪ You can stretch right
up and touch the sky ♪
♪ When the weather's fine ♪
♪ You got women, you
got women on your mind ♪
♪ Have a drink, have a drive ♪
♪ Go out and see what you can find ♪
♪ If her daddy's rich
take her out for a meal ♪
♪ If her daddy's poor
just do what you feel ♪
♪ Speed along the lane ♪
- I know we're short of staff,
that's the kind of mundane matter
I pay you to deal with, right?
Okay, I've got much more
important, my hands are full
details out here, okay.
Alright.
(slow music)
(laughing)
What?
Yeah, yeah, no, you're beautiful,
I said you're beautiful.
Now get your beautiful
self on the damn phone
and find somebody, okay.
Yeah, I'll keep in touch,
I got to run now, okay.
Hi.
I'm George Palermo,
I'm the manager of this
incredible establishment
and as you happen to be
quite incredible yourself,
I was thinking that maybe you,
this your first time in Palm Springs?
- Palm Springs?
Man, I can't go back home to my old lady
with no fucking tan.
- Yes sir, Captain, that
is what I said, sir.
Palm Springs, over.
- [Captain] What the fuck -
(static)
- We can't hear you, sir.
I lost you after what the fuck, over.
- [Captain] Stupid fuck ups.
- That part we got.
- Gee, we got that part, sir, over.
- Asshole.
(lively music)
- Ain't no way we going to
catch no damn Rolls Royce
out on no highway.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
we'll have to catch up
to them in Palm Springs.
(engine clanking)
- We ain't going to make
it to Palm Springs either.
- Can we, can we stop.
I have to go to the bathroom.
- Hey, hey, what the fuck are you doing?
You don't stop this car
til I tell you to stop it.
- I'm serious, I have a weak bladder.
- Weak bladders, I know about them.
My old lady pees so much,
she walks in a squat.
- Shut up, shut the fuck up.
- Really, I have to go.
I really have to go.
- We got a rest stop coming up.
- Shit!
- I told you we wasn't going to make it.
- Get back off the gas.
- [Cab Driver] There ain't
no gas to back off of.
- Sure is hot out here, good
thing we have a convertible.
Hi, how you doing?
- Alright.
- Give me one, two, three
dollars super unleaded.
- [Cab Driver] Man, I can't believe this.
I'm stuck out here in the desert
with a white man with a gun.
Ain't got no damn water.
I feel like a buzzard with a Nike suit on.
- [Stoneface] Shut up.
- Last thing I need is a tan,
end up looking like my cousin.
He was so black he went to night school
and got counted absent.
Oh, shoot.
Oh now look, now he's pushing
me, now he's pushing me.
- [Lucille] Pervert!
(upbeat music)
- [Larry] You see that girl up there?
That looks like Lucille!
- Where?
- There.
- [Steve] It is Lucille, man.
- [Larry] Lucille!
- Did you eat my candy bar, Ed?
- No, I did not eat your candy bar.
Want a smoke?
(laughing)
- That's incredibly cruel, actually.
No, Ed, I do not need a cigar
and I'll tell you something else.
As sure as shit draws flies,
this guy is not coming
back, you know that?
- That's your professional opinion.
- Yes, yes as a matter of fact, Ed,
that is my professional opinion, yeah.
- All the more reason to wait.
- [Lucille] What are talking about?
I was kidnapped today and I
had a gun stuck in my face.
- I'm telling you that we
can't just call the cops, okay.
The cops will just complicate things.
Next thing you know we'll
be late for the pageant,
one thing after another
and then we're going to
have a lot to worry about.
- [Lucille] Well what is it
with you and this car anyway?
- What is it with me and this car?
Well, I borrowed this car.
- You see, the thing is Casanova here
wants to impress Miss April Summer.
- Who's she?
- She's his dream girl, you know.
She's this unbelievable girl
that's entering the pageant.
Same one you're in,
believe me, you'll see.
- Thank you, Steve.
(light music)
- Welcome to the Tropics.
Checking in, sir?
- Maybe.
(chattering)
- Well, good luck with your dream girl.
- Thanks and good luck
to you with your pageant
and hopefully we'll see you around.
(upbeat music)
- [Cab Driver] Man, how you
expect us to find a Rolls Royce,
a particular Rolls Royce
here in Palm Springs?
All these white people got Rolls Royce's.
There's about 50 million Rolls Royce's
here in Palm Springs.
Shoot, you should've got low jack.
- And a bellman will bring
your bags when you're ready.
- Okay, sure.
- Sorry, we're short staffed this weekend
and if I can do anything,
please let me know.
- Alright, here you go.
- Have a nice time at the Tropics.
- You bet.
They're understaffed this weekend?
- [Steve] So, what?
- [Larry] So, what?
God, you're slow.
Come on, I've got it.
- Have a seat.
I'll be right with you.
(chattering)
- Who are you?
- I'm Lucille.
- Hi, Lucille.
Monica, I have a new one.
- Well, good luck, guys.
Do your best and remember our policy.
- All for one, one for
all, everybody pitches in.
And thank you, Mrs. Rasnick
or is that, Miss Rasnick?
- Well, it's Miss, but
you may call me Stella.
- Alright, Stella.
We'll catch you around.
(chattering)
- This is size seven?
- I don't know, it was just given to me.
- I thought you were going
to wear the black bikini,
it looks great.
- You're right, it does look hot.
On me.
Doesn't it.
- Excuse me.
God, she's a bitch.
- Hi, I'm Lucille.
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
Hold on.
April Summer?
April, you have a call.
Girls, please, I repeat myself.
No more personal calls
in the dressing room.
I don't care how urgent it is.
(upbeat music)
- [MC] Alright, come on, come on,
let's hear it for these incredible ladies!
Okay and remember, results
for the swimsuit competition
will be tomorrow at the finals
for the Miss International
Future Top Model Pageant.
Alright!
(cheering)
For you boys in the front
row, take your close shot.
♪ I thought about the
ways I can make you wet ♪
♪ Now I'm memorized ♪
Let's hear it for the ladies, come on!
(cheering)
- Sure, Miss Rasnick, no problem,
I'll work your barbecue.
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Yeah, work it baby, work it ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
- Want me to go up to the room
and get you your down coat?
It's the way you want it.
Checked out any of the
girls down by the pool?
See you later.
- What a dick.
- One of the highlights of today's pageant
is definitely the
swimsuit competition, huh?
So, without further ado,
let me introduce our bathing beauties.
Back, back you pigs, you.
♪ Work it, baby, work it ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ Work it, baby, work it ♪
- There you go, hope you enjoy the women.
(cheering)
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
- Now, in case you forgot,
this is an international event.
Now, from the land down
under, under Texas, anyway,
from Mexico City, Mexico,
Miss Juanita Alvarez.
(cheering)
Oh, and last but not
least, from the big D,
small a, double l a s, Miss
Hot Damn, April Summer.
(cheering)
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ L-U-S-T, lust ♪
♪ Do it baby, do it ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
Now let's hear it for
these bathing beauties.
(cheering)
- Man, why's this always happen to me?
Everybody else can drive all
week nothing happen to them -
- Will you shut the fuck up,
I'm sick and tired of hearing
you bitch and moaning.
- Bitch?
You call this bitching?
You ain't got no idea,
you wait til I try to
explain this to my old lady.
Shit.
- Alright, alright,
alright, just, just move it.
But some foot in it, will you?
- But it's a 35 mile and hour zone, sir.
- I don't give a fuck.
Move it.
(siren wailing)
Shit.
- You can say that again.
- Pull over and act normal.
You even look sideways,
I blow the back of your
fucking head out the window.
- I got it.
You ain't got to worry
about nothing, he's white.
(CB chattering)
Is there anything wrong, Mr. Police?
- Let me see your license.
- Yeah, I got it right here, officer.
- You wait right here.
- Pardon me, officer, but
is this going to take long?
- [Officer] That depends, sir.
- Here, buy your wife a muzzle.
And remember, asshole, I
know where to find you.
- Police, police, officer.
- I told you to wait in the car.
- No, but you don't understand -
- Back in the car.
- He's a bad man, he put a -
- I said get back in the car.
- You ain't got to pull your gun,
I'm just trying to tell you
this man kidnapped my ass.
He held me hostage.
- [Officer] Sit quiet in your car.
- He held me hostage
though, he gave me money.
Kiss my ass, should've known
he wouldn't believe it.
(chattering)
- Now remember, remember,
the finals of the swimsuit competition
will be tallied and announced
tomorrow during the finals
of our Miss International
Top Model Pageant.
(cheering)
- Seventy-five dollars?
What are you trying to do, pay rent?
You going to give me a ticket for going
a few miles over the speed limit.
- Sir, sir, if you have a complaint,
go down to the police station,
you see the desk Sargent.
- But this man put me a gun to my -
- And watch the speed
limit, this isn't LA.
- This isn't LA.
(engine starting)
(lively music)
- All I wanted was a nice,
quiet summer vacation.
What am I doing?
Pushing shrimp down a
hallway in Palm Springs.
- No, no, I don't ever
remember you asking me
for a quiet summer vacation.
What I do remember is I remember
you calling me up saying
Lar, cousin, buddy o
mine, I am bored to death
and I need some excitement in my life.
So, of course, I took care of you
and gave you some excitement.
- Yeah, but in the last 24
hours I've ODed on pizza,
I heaved all over some girl,
we committed grand theft auto,
some guy is chasing us around
town with a gun, come on.
- That's excitement, that
is definitely excitement.
Yo, let's try this one.
See, what I'd tell you.
It's completely empty,
vacant, nobody lives here.
- Yeah, what if it's a late check in, huh,
did you think about that?
- Blow up that bridge when we get to it.
- Great.
- I'm telling you, Melvin,
this guy has gotten on my last nerve.
This slime ball takes
us on a three hour tour
of Palm Springs.
(knocking)
- [Bellman] Bellman, i've
got your luggage, sir.
- Yes, yes, we're in the bathroom.
I mean, I'm going to the bathroom.
I mean, go ahead and come in
and leave it in the closet.
That's what you should do.
Come ahead, yes, thank you very much.
- Anything else, sir?
- [Larry] Nope, can't
think of anything, thanks.
- Fuck you, dick.
- At last, some peace and quiet.
- Now all we need to
do is figure out a way
to get into that reception
tonight and get some tuxedos.
- Hey, why don't we just
break into the dry cleaning
and steal a couple.
- That's a great idea.
- What, why do you always think I'm lying?
What?
No, I'm telling you, this
white man jumped in my taxi
and he put a gun to my damn head.
What do you mean you going
to put a gun to my head?
Look.
No, no, no, no, no, I am not with my ho.
No, look, I ain't with no ho.
Baby, I'm telling you, it
was straight on my way home.
Don't you hang up on me!
Don't you!
Never let me explain.
It's okay.
Got me some cash.
Ha ha ha.
(light music)
- Alright, this tuxedo is
three sizes too big for me.
- I know that, Steve, what do you expect,
express tailoring, this
is not Beverly Hills.
Know what your problem is, Steve?
You're too tense, I think
you need to get laid.
How long's it been, a year or two maybe?
That's what your problem is,
too tense, you need to relax.
- No I'm not.
What if we get caught, have
you thought about that?
- We're not going to get caught.
Hi.
- Like that, helping with
the laundry delivery.
That's what it's all about,
pitching in, teamwork,
I like that.
- Right, all for one, one for all.
Yes, we like you.
- You know, I never
realized how many old people
come to live here.
- Yeah and they got the nerve
to bring their parents with them.
- Really?
(laughing)
Hey look.
- The arms are too long
and the legs are too short.
It's designed for a gorilla.
♪ Before the night is gone ♪
♪ I feel your body ♪
- What?
Oh good, I can see that not all
your taste is in your mouth.
Come on, I'll introduce you.
- No, no, no, I can't, I can't.
- Can't?
Of course you can,
all you have to do is
think with your dick,
you'll be fine, let's go.
♪ I feel your body ♪
- You see that great looking guy?
- Hi, I'm Larry Page, how are you?
This is my friend, Steve.
- Steve Weldon, hi.
(speaking in foreign language)
- Ah, you're Polish.
- Russian.
- Russian, Russian was what I was thinking
and that was my next guess, actually.
- Just my luck.
(dramatic music)
- [Stoneface] Bingo.
- Actually, I think Russian
history is really fascinating.
I read War and Peace a few times.
The Cliff Notes actually.
I think a relative of mine was from.
- St. Petersburg?
- Yeah.
- I'm from St. Petersburg.
- Really?
Wow.
I guess Disney was right,
it's a small world.
- What is this?
I thought this was punch,
it went right to my head.
- You know, we should get together.
- So, what do you do, Mr. Larry?
- Me and Steve, actually,
we're big film producers
is what we do, we make big movies.
- What kind big movies?
- You know, large ones.
The ones that make all the money actually.
Ever see Rambo?
- I love Rambo.
- No shit.
I mean, you do, really, you like Rambo.
Good, that's a good thing.
She's loves Rambo, huh.
- I could give you a few
tips on the little things
it takes, you know, to
win a beauty contest.
(speaking in foreign language)
- Excuse me, what was that?
- I do not think you make Rambo.
- Oh well, you see, I don't really think -
- Larry, Steve, wow what a surprise.
My too favorite producers.
I'm sorry for barging in, excuse me.
- Lucille.
- So, how is Sly?
- He's really good,
been working out lately,
pumping that iron, you know.
- So, give him my regards.
- Of course I will.
- You see, it doesn't really
matter how big they've become.
They never really forget
a friend from the past.
It's very rare in
Hollywood, it's very rare.
(light music)
♪ And I can't speak ♪
♪ One look in your eyes
my knees get weak ♪
- Wow.
♪ Head over heels, I'm falling fast ♪
- Excuse me.
♪ How long will the feeling last ♪
♪ Is it love ♪
- Take this for me, I'll be back.
- Take your time.
- Miss Rasnick, I was just wondering if
you wanted some fruits
because I was walking around -
- Stella, we are running
low in champagne, my dear.
- Ah, yes George, I'll be right on it.
- Oh, you want some, sure
go ahead, help yourself.
As a matter of fact, here
just take the whole plate.
- Listen, Lar, I think
I'm in with the Russian.
- You?
Miss Moscow?
- Yeah, you're not going
to believe this, listen.
She's invited me back to her room tonight
after the surprise birthday party.
- Oh, hey.
- Yeah, here's the best part,
guess who's surprise birthday party it is?
- Mine?
- No, April Summer's.
- April Summer's?
- Yeah.
- I got an idea, Steve.
- No, no, no, you don't have any ideas.
- You got to help me with this.
- It's an all girl party.
- I need your help.
- We can't.
- That's okay.
- Don't do this to me.
- It doesn't matter.
- Don't blow it.
- It's alright.
- Don't blow this for me.
- Look, like I said, sir,
I really can't give out any
information about the guests.
- Hey, I'm not asking for
his fucking medical records,
all I want is his name, okay.
In exchange for this.
Now, give it to me.
- Just his name?
- Just his name, will
you give me his name.
- Page.
- What?
- Page, Page.
- Yo, if you're going to do
that little Russian thing,
then don't forget to go downstairs
and get yourself some of
them little helmet helpers
in the gift shop.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean, don't you Steve?
I'm talking to you.
I'm talking to you about
those little sperm buckets
they got downstairs.
And oh, if I were you, I
would get the red ones.
(laughing)
Red ones.
Steve she's Russian.
Money.
Money.
Oh my God.
- Come on, lady, I know Mr.
Page has got to be staying here,
his car's in the parking lot.
- I'm sorry, sir, there's
no one by that name
registered at this hotel.
Why don't you check in the restaurant.
- Yeah.
- Have a good evening, sir.
- What's so good about it?
- He was inquiring about a Mr. Page.
Must be his exchange man.
- We are closing in on him,
Ed, I can feel it in my bones.
- Speaking of a bone.
Do you see those women going
in and out of that ball room.
- Maybe we should take this to the police.
I think we should take this to the police.
- No, no, Steve, we're not going
to take this to the police.
We're not going to spend the whole weekend
in the police station answering questions.
I mean, that's ridiculous.
You know what.
I bet you anything that the
guy Lucille was talking about
is after this money.
- Oh, shit and he's got a gun.
Larry, I don't like this,
I don't like this at all.
- What we're going to do,
we're going to put this under the bed
and we'll talk about it later.
We've got things to do.
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
Great.
Hey, everybody, they're here, come on.
Shh, turn off the light.
Hide everyone, hide, quick.
(chattering)
- [Girls] Surprise!
(cheering)
- Thanks.
(chattering)
- You sure, look again,
come on, Page with an A.
That's a W, you kidding, come here.
(phone ringing)
- [Host] Restaurant.
How many in your party?
- Faggot.
- [Host] Alright, and
that's Robertson, correct?
- Excuse me, excuse me, we are LAPD,
I'm afraid we'll have to confiscate this .
- [Ed] What the hell are you doing?
- Ed, for god's sake
you got to help me out.
I got to get something to eat.
- Not now, we're closing
in on this turkey.
Control yourself for Christ's sake.
- Ed, that is easy for you to say.
I mean you just take a
couple hits of Maalox,
you're fine for a couple
hours, I am dying here.
- I got it.
What if we help Stoneface find Mr. Page?
- How do you plan to do that?
- You just keep an eye on
him, I'll be right back.
- [Melvin] Right.
Waiter, no.
(upbeat music)
(knocking)
- Special entertainment
delivery for April Summer.
- Hey, girls, entertainment's here.
- Yeah.
- Look at this.
- Hi, where's April Summer?
- [Girl] It's your date, April.
- Hi, uh, this is entertainment,
compliments of Mr. Larry Page.
- [April] Who the hell is Larry Page?
- Larry, producer, big producer, Rambo.
- Right, Rambo, producer.
- Really?
- Yeah, sure.
Oh, why don't you go
ahead and have a seat.
Everybody get comfortable relax.
(chattering)
(upbeat music)
- Yeah, must be a lot
of wealthy people here.
- Look son, I don't want to
have to haul you into court
on charges of obstructing justice,
collaboration on the
conspiracy to commit a crime.
All I want to know is
if you too any luggage
up to Mr. Page's room?
- Yeah, I took some luggage
up to that cheap ass.
Room 407, yeah 407.
- Thank you.
Just follow my lead.
You believe our friend, Page.
You remember Page?
He used to play golf with us back in LA.
The son of a bitch must have
hit the lottery big time.
Bought himself a brand new
Rolls Royce convertible.
A Rolls Royce convertible.
(laughing)
- Yeah, yeah, the black Rolls
Royce convertible, no less.
- Yeah, you know he's staying
right here in the hotel.
Spending cash money like
it's going out of style.
Says he wants to stop by his room later on
to collect the 50 Gs he owes us.
- What room is that?
- [Ed] 407.
- Room 407, let's see,
that'll be on, what,
the forth floor I guess.
A white chocolate
covered raisinets please.
- [Ed] Let's go.
- A little junior mints
thing here, trident,
some certs, some Fi Bar Am,
just grab one of these.
(knocking)
- Melvin.
- Shh, shh, shh, he's right behind us.
- Melvin, will you please move?
- Where the hell am I
supposed to move, Ed?
- Anywhere, Melvin as long
as it's off my goddamn foot.
- Oh.
Sorry.
- Now will you check and
see if the coast is clear?
- Damn.
The SOB is sitting right outside the door.
♪ Now you know my name ♪
♪ Now I know your game ♪
♪ And if you want to know ♪
♪ My name is Boingo ♪
(clapping)
- That was very nice.
- Well, thank you, thank you very much.
- Thank the producer for me, will you?
- Yeah, yeah, I will do that.
Anyway, he said that he
wanted to meet you downstairs
in the front entrance at midnight tonight.
- And he is a producer, really?
- Would a clown lie to you?
- You can tell him I'll be there.
- You will?
I mean, you will?
Of course you will.
- But only for a little while.
- Oh, right.
- I have a pageant tomorrow.
- God, you're beautiful.
Sorry, hey.
Got to go now, bye kids!
- [Girls] Bye Boingo!
- Hi.
Little surprise for you, little girl.
Flower.
Thanks for being cool.
Bye, Lucille.
- Boingo.
- Okay, make a wish.
- Okay.
♪ Uh uh, I can't fall for that mess ♪
♪ You done thought about it ♪
♪ What a pain in the chest ♪
♪ Broke, joke, oh what a joke ♪
♪ This is serious, homey ♪
♪ It ain't no joke ♪
♪ So I'm tearing down the house ♪
♪ And you bring back ♪
♪ Be a man, not a mouse ♪
♪ You got to ride up raising ♪
♪ Green like the peas ♪
♪ I can't let you do that ♪
♪ You'll be like my cousin squash ♪
(siren wailing)
- Shit!
- [Danny] Hey, you rat bastard!
- [Man] Danny, the fucking cops, let's go!
Move it!
- You got to be kidding?
- [Man] I said move it.
- Don't make no sense.
I take it y'all going to be paying cash.
(gasping)
(speaking in foreign language)
- Shh, we cannot go here, my chaperone.
We go to your room, da?
- Da, da, we go my room.
(coughing)
My room.
- You have very beautiful eyebrows.
(soft music)
I come out soon now, Steve.
- [Steve] I'm looking forward to that.
(speaking in foreign language)
- That means, I am yours.
- [Steve] They're fake!
- They are not, we do not do
things like that in Russia.
- No, I mean the bills are fake.
Oh.
- April Summer, I presume?
- So, what is it, a musical?
Because I can sing, you know.
I did Grease in high school.
I sort of see myself as more
like the next Marilyn Monroe.
A feature film, something -
- April?
- Yeah.
- Do you think we could
talk about anything besides
the movie business for a while?
- What is more important
than the movie business?
- There's lots of things.
There's you.
There's me.
There's you.
There's this moonlit, balmy desert night.
Romance and the stars and.
(door creaking)
(speaking in foreign language)
- [Cop] Freeze!
- Look, we're LAPD.
- Keep it up, asshole.
- Look, we've got ID.
- I said, freeze.
(upbeat music)
- Son of a bitch!
Freeze!
(shooting)
- Shit!
(screaming)
Get off me!
- Shit!
Shit, man, goddamn it.
- What the?
Hell!
- Shit.
(snoring)
Goddamn it, Melvin!
- It's like fireworks going off.
- Yeah, for me too.
- Goddamn I hate this.
I hate, oh shit!
- Melvin!
Damn.
That's a badge, it's real, we're LAPD.
Now, if you two dimwits will
stop playing cops and robbers
maybe we can proceed with capturing
the real perpetrator of the crime here.
(knocking)
- My chaperone.
- Just a second, I'm coming.
Yeah, what?
(dramatic music)
Don't shoot.
Don't shoot, please.
- Shut up, not a word, you little prick.
Where's the money?
(suspenseful music)
- Fucking A.
That chick is phenomenal.
- If I ever get my hand
on that little weasel.
(groaning)
Let's go.
(popping)
Freeze!
Party's over, pal.
- Who the fuck are you?
- You really want to know, mister?
We're the police.
- Police.
(speaking in foreign language)
Gangster, police.
(speaking in foreign language)
- You know what, Larry?
This has been really interesting.
(light piano music)
- Maybe we can do this
again tomorrow night?
- I'll tell you what?
- What?
- After I win tomorrow night,
we'll celebrate together.
How's that sound?
- Sounds great.
(light piano music)
It's really pretty.
I didn't know you played.
- Thanks.
I didn't know you were a producer.
I'm sorry, you know what I mean.
- Oh.
- You remember that Halloween
party, like 1985, 1986
when you had those fake eyelashes.
You were such a baby.
- I was not.
- You were too.
- I was not.
- You were too.
- You crazy glued them to my eyes.
My eyes were stuck
together for three weeks.
- Yeah, but you look so
ridiculous sitting in class.
All the guys were laughing.
- You know, you look so different.
- Different how?
- I don't know.
You just look
really beautiful.
- Thanks, it's the makeup.
- No, I don't think so.
I really hope you win tomorrow.
- It's not about the winning.
It's about following
your dreams, you know.
- Yeah, I can relate with that.
- It's funny, you know,
we both end up here.
- Yeah, it's pretty weird.
Better let you get your beauty sleep.
Good luck.
Good night, Lucille.
- Goodnight.
Larry?
- Yeah.
- She really is very beautiful,
your friend, April Summer.
- Yeah.
- I told her you were a nice guy.
- You did?
- Yeah, without blowing
your cover, of course.
- Of course.
Thanks, goodnight.
(light piano music)
(speaking in foreign language)
(chattering)
- I told him, no one listens to me.
- Everybody shut up.
With all due respect to
the LAPD, it's my backyard
that this mess got dumped in.
- Don't start with the jurisdiction crap.
- Hold it, will you?
First off, what the
hell is with this money?
- That's drug money.
Drug money this douche bag stole.
- Who you calling a douche bag?
Fucking asshole.
- It's all fake.
- Bullshit, you're a fucking liar.
He doesn't know what he's talking about.
- Dick.
- Fuck you.
- Will you just say that again, son?
- I said, the money is all fake.
It's not worth the paper
that it's printed on.
- Who in the hell is this ding dong?
- That is my friend, big producer, Rambo.
- Producer my ass, he's a punk deef.
(speaking in foreign language)
- What the hell is she saying?
Is that Spanish or something?
- It's fucking rooskie.
- Fucking asshole!
- Commie dyke bitch.
- Hey.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Have a little respect.
These ladies are guests in our country.
- Listen you, what the hell
did she say your name was?
Rumbo?
Well, Mr. Rumbo, I will not
allow any of these interruptions
in the middle of my
investigation, you got that?
- Yes, sir, yes, sir I do.
By the way, the name's Steve.
- Who in the hell are you?
- Larry Page.
- Put your goddamn hands down.
I think we better take them all downtown,
so we can get to the bottom of this.
- Good idea.
- Good idea.
♪ I love, I love, I
love my calendar girl ♪
♪ Yeah, sweet calendar girl ♪
♪ I love, I love, I
love my calendar girl ♪
♪ Each and every day of the year ♪
♪ January ♪
♪ You start the year all fine ♪
♪ February ♪
♪ You're my little valentine ♪
♪ March ♪
♪ I'm gonna march you down the aisle ♪
♪ April ♪
♪ You're the Easter bunny ♪
♪ When you smile ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ My heart's in a whirl ♪
♪ I love, I love, I love
my little calendar girl ♪
♪ Every day, every day ♪
♪ Every day, every day ♪
♪ Of the year ♪
- Now our finalist in this
years Future Top Model Pageant.
Miss Moscow, Natasha Galena.
(clapping)
- I can't wait for this to be over,
I'm so tired of attention.
Besides, my boyfriend,
Lennie's going to meet me
at the party later.
- Yeah, well have fun for me too,
I don't think I'm going to make it.
I'm meeting George Palermo
in his suite afterwards
for a little night cap.
- I thought you were meeting
that Larry guy, the producer?
- Yeah well, he'll just have
to wait in line, won't he?
I know, you think I'm a bitch, right?
Well you know what,
that's exactly what it takes
to make it in this business.
- [MC] Miss Mexico City, Juanita Alvarez.
(clapping)
(cheering)
Miss Montreal, Cindy Devereaux.
Miss Dallas, April Summers.
(clapping)
- Oh, it's busted.
- It's okay.
- Oh, honey.
- What am I going to do, I
don't have another dress.
- I know, the promoters gave me a dress,
I know it's going to fit, sweetie.
Come on, let's try it on.
- Come on, come on.
- [MC] Miss North
Hollywood, Lucille Johnson.
Lucille Johnson.
(clapping)
- What time is it?
- Don't ask me any questions, Larry.
Fifteen hours of that
in the police station
was more than enough, thank you.
- Thank you.
- What is that, the Omar Sharif look?
(laughing)
- Yes sir, that's what
I said, sir, we got him.
But we can't come back
until tomorrow, sir.
We have a lot of loose ends
we got to tie up here, sir.
Right.
Oh, well, well thank you sir.
Damn fine job.
Right.
Right, we will bring him in tomorrow, sir.
- Let's hear it one more time
for our lovely contestants.
(clapping)
- No, no, thank you.
Thank you, oh God.
Oh, it's good to be home.
- Speaking of good, my
friend, maximum payoff.
- Okay, okay, okay,
here's your five dollars.
- No, wait, wait, wait, you
going to write me a check
for five dollars?
- My check's good.
- I don't want your
check, I want cash money.
- [Melvin] I happen to be a little short.
- If thoughts were illegal.
- What do you say we
investigate some of them bones
you was talking about.
- Melvin, my good man, we
finally agree on something.
(clapping)
- The envelope please.
Ah, the second runner up from
North Hollywood, California,
Lucille Johnson.
(clapping)
- Yeah, alright, man!
- And our first runner up.
All the way from the Soviet
Union, Natasha Galena.
(clapping)
- Way to go, Natasha!
Woo, yeah!
- And now, our new Miss Future Top Model,
from Dallas, Texas, April Summer.
(cheering)
- Alright!
- You promise to write?
- Promise.
You promise to come to St. Petersburg?
- I promise.
- You promise to come
back upstairs one hour?
- We promise.
- We promise.
- Good.
- Hey, Larry Page.
What are you dead or what?
- Oh, hi.
- How you doing?
- I was doing great about one
when we were supposed to meet.
It's now, five and five is a good time.
(light piano music)
- Well?
- Listen.
You don't understand, I'm not a producer.
I'm just a guy from LA
who installs car stereos.
You see, I had this dream
that maybe we could,
you see, I don't know, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I got to go.
Good luck with your career.
I know you're going to do great.
- Yeah, right.
I will say, you do a great clown.
- I try.
- Thanks for letting me
play, you were really sweet.
I got to go.
Bye.
- Excuse me, did you see the
girl that was sitting here
a few minutes ago playing piano?
I'm sorry.
Excuse me, did you.
I'm sorry.
- She went that way.
- Thanks.
Lucille!
("Lucille")
- Natasha, wake up.
Wake up, honey, we got to go.
♪ Lucille ♪
♪ You won't do your sister's will ♪
♪ Oh, Lucille, you won't
do your sister's will ♪
(yelling)
♪ You ran off and married,
but I love you still ♪
♪ Lucille ♪
♪ Please come back where you belong ♪
- This is sure to become an annual event
here in Palm Springs, as
quoted by Mr. George Palermo.
(laughing)
- Didn't say anything about the
shooting or anything, right?
You see, they said they
weren't going to print it
and they didn't, I'm telling you, Stella,
it just feels terrific.
Have friends in high places.
- Oh, George.
Look at that.
- Tropics Hotel, a Battle Ground.
Fuck!
♪ I been good to you baby ♪
♪ Please don't leave me alone ♪
- Come on, don't die baby.
♪ I woke up this morning ♪
♪ Lucille was not in sight ♪
♪ I asked my friends about her ♪
♪ But all their lips were tight ♪
♪ Lucille ♪
♪ Please come back where you belong ♪
♪ I been good to you baby ♪
♪ Please don't leave me alone ♪
♪ Lucille ♪
♪ Baby satisfy my heart ♪
♪ Lucille ♪
♪ Baby satisfy my heart ♪
♪ I played for it baby ♪
♪ And gave you such a wonderful start ♪
Hi.
- Hi.
- Uh, I just wanted to
catch you before you.
- Got to get back to reality.
- Yeah, but, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.
I was kind of hoping that
maybe you and me could,
maybe we could kind of go
back to reality together.
♪ You got a home in my heart ♪
♪ It's always there for you ♪
♪ You got a smile that's so bright ♪
♪ Oh, it's true ♪
♪ As I surrender to
that look in your eyes ♪
(clapping)
♪ The search is over now that I realize ♪
♪ You are my answer to love ♪
♪ Took me so long to see ♪
♪ You were there for me ♪
♪ I should have known from the start ♪
♪ That heaven was not too far ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ You are my answer to love ♪
♪ Took me so long to see ♪
♪ You were there for me ♪
♪ I should've known from the start ♪
♪ That heaven was not too far ♪
♪ Now you've got a home in my heart ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ It's must more than physiology ♪
♪ Cause when you get down to it ♪
♪ It's just the dog in me ♪
♪ When I say dog I'm not
talking about a bad thing ♪
♪ I'm mean working up a cold sweat ♪
♪ Lust on the brain ♪
♪ Because there's nothing
that I wouldn't do ♪
♪ To get next to you ♪
♪ Remember first comes lust
and then comes true blue ♪
♪ So why we're taking a
chance, dance and romance ♪
♪ Takes the magic of
lust at first glance ♪
♪ I'll be any old thing
that you want me to be ♪
♪ Your lover, your daddy,
your one and only ♪
♪ P R O double F E T ♪
♪ Steaming like a demon on a slow dance ♪
♪ Face it baby, lust at first glance ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ Do it again ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Yes ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Yo, check this out ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Your body's dope all I can do is hope ♪
♪ Give me half the chance and
you're bound to get stroked ♪
♪ Love in the morning, noon and night ♪
♪ Yeah, girl, I want to hold you tight ♪
♪ So don't get me wrong ♪
♪ No, I'm not a nympho
but I'm ready to go ♪
♪ Cruising ♪
♪ In my stretch like limo ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Yes ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Do it again ♪
♪ L-U-S-T, lust ♪
♪ Hey Proffet ♪
♪ Yeah baby ♪
♪ You want some more ♪
♪ I don't know, you know ♪
♪ I just love this shit,
you know what I'm saying ♪
♪ So, where do we go from here ♪
♪ Smooth into it ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ L-U-S-T, lust ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Do it baby, do it ♪
♪ Let me feel it ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Lust ♪
♪ Work it baby, work it ♪
♪ I'm talking about lust ♪
♪ L-U-S-T, lust ♪