Rough Cut (1980) - full transcript

[CHEERING]

To my lovely bride
on our first anniversary!

[LATIN JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Hi, Jack.
How are you doing?

Oh, God.
Balloons.

Who cares
about balloons?

I'm not interested
in balloons.

Are you wondering
what I'd like to do?

The night's yours.

Oh, Jack, let's dance.
Shall we dance?



Let's have some
more champagne.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

Darling, you wouldn't
fetch me more champers,
would you?

[LAUGHS]

Ohh!

[IMITATING CARY GRANT]
Hello.

Well, you lead one
a very merry chase,
very merry indeed.

You can't
be serious.

I've never been
more serious in my life.

Why are you imitating
Tony Curtis?

I'm not imitating
Tony Curtis.

I'm imitating
Cary Grant.

You're doing Tony Curtis
doing Cary Grant.

Oh.



Cary Grant doesn't even
do Cary Grant anymore.

But I thought...

[IN NORMAL VOICE] See,
I thought it would be
a nice way to meet you.

Original, but I suggest
you do someone else.

I do a great
Jack Rhodes.

Who's he?

Me.

[CHUCKLES]
Very good.

You do an excellent
Jack Rhodes. Thank you.

Uh, who are you?

Gillian Bromley.

Ah, I always
loved that name.

I hoped you would.

Hmm. Gillian.

Sounds like an amount.
You know, the first thing
after billion.

[CHUCKLES]

Jack, darling, come
meet Sir Samuel.

Sir Samuel Sacks,
this is Jack Rhodes.

Sir Samuel.

What do you think
of our Shelia, eh?

Used to bounce her
on me knee.

Hmm, dirty old bugger.

Yeah. She's quite
a little bouncer, Shelia.

Shelia, Sir Samuel,
I'd like you to meet, uh...

Take me
to the food,
my dear.

I shall perish without
immediate gluttony.

Of course, darling.

How gorgeous.
Who are you?

Uh, Jack Rhodes.You're American.

Yes. It's not my fault.

Been here long?

I live here.

See, darling?
Some of them
have taste.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

MAN:
Anyone in there?

Anyone in there?

I must go to the loo.
I'm bursting.

[KNOCKING]
Come on.

I'm bursting!
I must go to the loo.
Come on.

[RATTLES DOORKNOB]

Blast.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[IMITATING CLARK GABLE]
Scarlett, I missed you.

You're not leaving?

I rather thought I was.Alone?

For the moment.
Good night.

Ah, but it's so early.

I'm afraid I'm
not too keen
on large parties.

We could find
a small one.

We could be
a small one.
[LAUGHS]

[SMIRKS]

I'm not doing
too well, am I?

Not at the moment.

An hors d'oeuvre.
Petit four, petit five?

I know.
A cigarette.

Mr. Rhodes, it's... I think you'll
like one of these.

Can I call you?

I'm in the book.

So am I.

Oh, which one, Guinness?

Several times.

And I will
see you again.

I take it you always
manage to get
what you want.

Good night, Mr. Rhodes.

You said that.

I can't say good night
to you often enough.

SHELIA: Jack.

Jack, darling,
where are you?

Ooh!
[LAUGHING]

Shelia, you're going
to have to do something
about your shyness.

I'm going
to eat you up.

Oh, and who
can blame you?

Now, I have
to find my key.

I'll help you find it.

Evening,
Mr. Rhodes.

Good evening,
Mr. Foxworth.

I'll help you find...We're just
looking for my key.

Lovely evening for it.

I've got it!Good.

I've got it.

Why don't we just work
our way up to you
being down there?

[LAUGHS]

You've put mirrors
on the ceiling.

You naughty, naughty boy.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Ooh, they go
all the way round.

You must be
very active. [LAUGHS]

Oh, what
a sensational view.

Where is it?

It's my apartment.

Good idea. [LAUGHS]

What do you
like best?

Tell me.

What would
you like?

Well, I think
a new shirt
would be fine.

Why don't
we go slower?

You know,
by the numbers.

I think it would
be much more fun.

Hmm, nice.

Do you sleep here?

No. I sleep up there.

Oh.

Then we'll stay here.

[RATTLING]

Hold it.

I mean don't move.

Hello.

What are you
doing here?

Robbing you.

Oh.

Don't go away.

Checkmate.Right.

I thought
I heard voices.

Of course you did.

That was you and I.

'Cause there's
nobody else here.

Right?Right.

There's
nobody else here.

Well, good night.

Thank you for
a perfect evening.

Was I good? Wonderful.

I only just got here.

Did you?

I think so.

I had too much
to drink, didn't I?

You don't like that,
I know.

Aw...

That's all right.

Give me
another chance.

Let me throw up.

How sweet.

You don't have to do
that for me, really.

Waldo.

I'm terribly
sorry, darling.

I wouldn't be
any good to you.

WALDO:
Pardon me, sir?

I'm not talking
to you, Waldo.

Send me one of
your better taxis.

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

What do you mean?

I was injured
in the war.

Not many people
know about it.

Oh, darling. Yes.

A bit of
a sticky wicket,

but somehow
I manage.

I can help you.

Let me try.

No, no, no.
Wouldn't be any good.

You see, I...

[STUTTERS]
I have to strap
things on.

Besides, all my
batteries are dead.

It'd be a mess.
You have to go.

Will you call me?

Yes. Of course.
I'll call you
every day.

Every day. Bless you.

Bless you.

Well, onward
and upward.

Are you decent?

Would you be so kind
as to hand me a shirt?

I take it she's left.

Yes. Gone off
to join a monastery.

Like to step outside,
or do you want me
to get a couple of chairs

and come in there
with you?

[LAUGHS]

I don't want to
seem ungrateful,

but how
did you get in?

A skeleton key.

Ah. You just walked
past the doorman,
I assume.

Doormen are
always asleep.

Mmm. Poor Waldo.

He died about
three years ago.

We haven't had
the heart to tell him.

Did you find
what you were
looking for?

Oh, I wasn't looking
for anything special,

just so long
as it cost a fortune.

To even the score,
you might say.

I see.

Perhaps you were
looking for this.

How did you do it? Cigarette?

Where are
the diamonds?

Little black box,
second drawer,

left-hand side,
a secret compartment.

How do I know
you're not lying? You don't.

What is your game,
Mr. Rhodes? No, no, no.

It's my place,
my bed, my questions.

What's your game?

I steal things.

You with the Acme
Robbery Company?

I just take things,
that's all.

Why?

Because it's exciting
and dangerous.

Not for the money?

No.

Aha.

You're a kleptomaniac.

How brilliant.Well, it's very common.

I'm terribly sorry
it's not more stylish.

You know
why you do it?

Well, I have...

Is this going to be long?

It's love
you really want.

Attention...

Tenderness...

You steal to compensate,
to fill a void in your life.

Void? Yes. Void.

It's a classic syndrome,
but I think I can help.

[CHUCKLES] Well,
maybe I'll just go and steal
a good book on the subject.

You can't go yet.

Blackmail.

Only as a first resort.

When will I
see you again?

When's good for you?

Tomorrow night.

Friday's better.

I was going
to get married Friday,

but I can put it off
for a couple of weeks.

Dinner?

Lunch would be easier.

Lunch would be fine.

I'll pick you up
around noon, okay?

You, uh, won't
forget my corsage.

It can be your treat.

Hmm.

You want good food
or just expensive?

Both.

Oh! And, uh...

You might find
that you need this.

Tweed Jacket,
inside pocket.

One of the first
places we look.

Good night again,
Mr. Rhodes.

[DIALING]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Hello?

No. It's perfectly
all right.

[SIGHS]
How did it go?

Lunch on Friday?

Oh, lovely.
What a wonderful start.

You'd better
pop round tomorrow.

Ten-ish?

Yes. I want to hear
all the details.

I'm very pleased,
my dear.

Very pleased
and very grateful.

Good night, my dear.

Rather late for someone
to be calling, isn't it?

Rather an exceptional
situation, dear.

She sounded beautiful.

I'm sorry she woke you.

Is she?

Beautiful?

More like stunning,
I'd say.

I was dreaming
when the phone rang.

It was the middle
of August.

We were in
the south of France.

You'd taken me
on holiday.

Lovely, was it?

Not really.
It was pissing down rain.

Did you read that article
in the paper today?

Which one
was that?

It said if you
don't use it,
you'll lose it.

Can't have that,
can we? No, dear.

[HONKING]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR] CYRIL: Come in.

Ah, good morning,
Miss Bromley.

No calls, Pilbrow. Yes, sir.

Unless it's major,
of course.

Somebody telephones the Queen
and starts breathing heavily,
that sort of thing.

Yes, sir.

I must say the sight of
you cheers me, my dear.

I could only say that,
I feel every bit
as well as you look.

[SCOFFS]
Whereas I feel
cheap and slimy.

Ah, yes.
Well, police work
can do that to you.

My first year at it,
I almost scrubbed
my hands raw.

I'm not with
the police.

Just as long as
you're not against us,
that's all we ask.

Now tell me, how did
it go with Rhodes?

I told you on the phone.
It went exactly
as you planned.

He introduced
himself at the party,
and we're going out.

On Friday?Absolutely.

That's splendid.

About one week together
should do it, I would think.

You do presuppose,
of course, that he will
want to see me again.

Modesty is boring.

False modesty
puts me in a coma.

Jack Rhodes has
always been attracted
to beautiful women.

Now, your very
considerable looks
plus your wit and style

should rivet him
for quite a time,

long enough
for him to be mine.

You may fail.

I refuse to entertain
that possibility.

You see, for the whole
of my adult life,

I have been a policeman,
but soon, as comes
to all who serve,

I shall be turned
out to pasture.

Mandatory retirement,
a sort of capital punishment
for the old.

But I would go without
a whimper if I could
bag the one man

who has always
eluded my reach.

I've come close.
I've come
tantalizingly close,

but he's always
been one step ahead.

Jack Rhodes is brilliant,
and he's smooth,

but he is also,
I'm quite convinced,

the most successful
diamond thief at large today.

And the thought of being
forced to retire before
I've bested him...

Oh, forgive me.
I have run on.

It helps to have
a captive audience.

I prefer to think of you
as a cooperative one.

Oh, yes. I forgot.

When the police
turn the screws,

it is called
cooperation.

Turning the screws?

Has anybody yet told your
father that his daughter's
light-fingered proclivities

might jeopardize
his position in
the government?

Haven't I kept mum
about your long string
of indiscretions?

Nice to see you,
Inspector.

Do your parents
live in America?

They died
before I was born.

I never forgave
them for it.

Are we anywhere near the end
of the runway, yet?

[SIREN WAILING]

Oh, dear.
What a nuisance.

Better pull over.
You could lose
your license.

I don't have
a license.

It'll cost you
a lot of money.

Cost me a lot more
if they find out
It's a stolen car.

You stole this car? Yes.

To fill a void
in my life.

Excuse me for mentioning it,
but we're about to become

a hood ornament
for a truck.

I don't think so. [HORN HONKS]

Did I scare you?

No.

Well, how am I doing?

Swell.

Excuse me.

JACK: Heads up! Jack!

Are you trying to
get rid of me or the car?

Oh.

[LAUGHS]

Well, I don't
need lifts.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Does he wait?

He waits.

Oh.

You wait?

Right, guv'nor.

Oh, my goodness.
It's all wet.

Yes.

[GRUNTS] Oh! [LAUGHS]

Very nice of you,
but it's quite unnecessary.Yea, it is.

You all right? No.

[BOTH SNICKERING]

I think I hurt
my tee-tee.

I'm not surprised.

How much
do you weigh?

Um, 8 stone 3.

Ah, you'd never know.Ooh.

[SIGHS]

Beautiful house. Thank you.

Is it yours? Mmm-hmm.

Where'd you
steal it?

The keys are
under the mat.

Oh.

That's a terrific
hiding place.

Nobody would ever
think of looking there.

Let me come in
and help you
turn down the bed.

I don't think so.

I could lay out
your jammies.

I don't wear pajamas.

I could lay out
your nightgown.

I don't wear
a nightgown.

You don't
wear anything?

My God!
I think I have to come in
and take a cold shower.

Good night.

Same time tomorrow?

Yes.

JACK:
But on the other hand,
we say tomato,

and you say tomahto.

Yet you don't call
a potato a potahto. Mmm. Mmm.

No. Silly. [CHUCKLES]That would be stupid
for you to say potahto.

Yes?

What would
you like?

Um, a thin slice
of that one, please.

A thin slice
of that one.

And some gooseberries.

And some
gooseberries.

Ooh, and one of those
meringue tart things.

And one of those
meringue tart things.

And for you, sir?Nothing for me.
I'm driving.

You sure that's
all you want? Mmm-hmm.

Hmm.

You know why
you ordered
so many desserts?

Starved for love?

Join the club.

CROUPIER: Six.

Thirteen.

Eighteen.

Seven, 17.

Nine, 19.

Twenty.

[HONKING]

[KNOCKING]CYRIL: Come in.

Excuse me, sir. Yes?

We got a little more
out of Dr. Chivers
this morning.

Uh, he's told us
nearly everything.

The only thing is,
we don't know where he's
buried his wife's left leg.

Well, stay on it.

Because it
would be big help

if he could put
Mrs. Chivers back
together before the trial.

Yes, sir. [TELEPHONE RINGS]

Chief Inspector
Willis' Office.

It's your call
to Miss Bromley, sir. Mmm-hmm. Get the file.

Yes, sir.

Good morning, my dear.

All goes well,
I trust.

Yes? Yes.

And tonight as well?

Well, that's perfect.

Then I think we'll move on
to the next phase.

There is a time
factor here, after all.

That's right.
You're already
halfway there.

Goodbye.

Oh, Pilbrow,
to be years younger.

Yes, sir.

Ten more years
of this sort of power.

Good shot, sir.

[SPEAKING MANDARIN]

They let you
cook here?

They have to.

I own the joint.

Enjoy the food?

My teeth are applauding.

Quite remarkable,
aren't you?

Only quite?

You love Chinese food,
so you buy
a Chinese restaurant.

That makes sense.
A good investment.

You have to work very hard
not to work for a living.

You don't
like work?

I saw enough
of it as a kid
watching my folks.

I thought you
were an orphan.

Well, I was one
of the lucky ones.
I had parents.

Of course, I never told
them they were adopted.

You don't like being
pinned down about
your past, do you?

The past bores me.

I'm only interested
in now, right now.

What about your parents?

You have the usual,
one of each?

My mother was lovely.
She died five years ago.

My father...

He's not quite so lovely.
He's very cold, except
to strangers, of course.

What's Daddy do?

He's in the government.

Oh! Mmm. High up.

Very high up.

He's not
the Queen, is he?

[CHUCKLES]

Shall we?

I have to tell
you something.

What?

Not tonight,
all right?

All right.

We're still on
for tomorrow?

Lunch at Les A.

Could we
make it dinner?

Sure.
That's better.

I like the nights.

They're all yours.

Only all of them?

All of them.

Except one. Why except one?

It's a very long,
boring story.

I used to, uh,

see a man named
Maxwell Levy.

A rather long,
wonderful time,
then it ended,

mainly because
his wife didn't think
it was so wonderful.

Max is senior partner
with Levy and Levy,

the big diamond firm
in Hatton Garden.

Several times a year,

Max sends up to
a million pounds
of rough stones to Antwerp

for cutting, along with
all the other diamond houses.

One of Max's couriers
takes the stones

to some central
place where they
join the others.

The idea is to keep
the whole thing very secret,

so no one is
ever told what time,

or indeed, day,
the shipment
is due to take place.

You're right.

That's a long,
boring story.

What's it got
to do with us?

Max always calls me
the night before
the shipment is due.

He considers
sleeping with me
good luck.

Well, it certainly
wouldn't hurt him.

He wouldn't settle
for a rabbit's foot?

[CHUCKLES]

Lucky man,
Maxwell Levy.

All those diamonds.

That's not what I meant.

I won't sleep with him.
I'll only see him.

Good night.

Maybe I should sleep
with Mrs. Levy.

For luck.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

[RADIO PLAYS
CLASSICAL MUSIC]

Ah, Miss Bromley
I'd hoped
to catch you in.

I thought I'd pop round
for a progress report.

How nice
of you to call.

Do come in, Inspector.

You once described yourself
as a captive audience.

Turnabout is fair play.

Now it is I who am
that to you.

Well, I told him your tale
about Maxwell Levy,

whoever in
God's name he is,

the shipments
to Antwerp, the lot.

And he couldn't
have cared less.

Well he could
hardly have reacted
with enthusiasm.

That would've been the same
thing as admitting that
he is what I know him to be.

I'm certain that
he isn't what you
"know him to be," Inspector.

Certain?

He has everything
anyone could
possibly want.

Oh, that's quite
beside the point.

I told you before.

Of all the world's
thieves, this one
is the most gifted.

He not only knows
how to steal superbly,

but even more important,
he knows how
to fence successfully.

I don't see why being able
to fence them is more
important than stealing them.

The world is crammed
with light-fingered
ladies and gentlemen

who never realize
more than a fraction
of the value

of the merchandise they
so painstakingly purloin.

Jack Rhodes
is an exception.

With his contacts,
he gets full value
for his exploits.

He really is
the Jack of Diamonds.

I'm sure he's not interested
in committing any crime.

Great masters don't
quit at the peak
of their powers.

The man is not yet 40
with a string of
successes behind him.

There's no way he's laid
down his bow or pushed
aside his palette,

or bronzed his baton.

No. What I think
will happen

is that very soon,

he will inquire whether
you haven't heard from
your old friend Mr. Levy,

and isn't it
about time he called.

When that happens,
we'll know he's
taken the bait.

I will let him
run with the line,

because I'll give you
the date of the next
shipment to Antwerp.

You will pass it on to Rhodes.
He will then spring
into action.

His action, of course,

triggering my own.

Yes, sir.

Listen, I did
what you asked,

I fed him
the information
you wanted.

You go and get him
to rob the courier.

Rob the courier?

Oh, my dear girl...

Knowing what he would
then know,

do you think Rhodes
settle for a kidney

when he could
have the whole pie?

Once he has that date

the man is bound
to go for the entire
diamond shipment.

We're dealing
with the master.

I'm setting him
a goal worthy
of his stature.

With all the police
and the security,
he's never going to try it.

I have the greatest
faith in him,

as indeed
I do in you,
my dear.

It doesn't trouble you
that blackmail is in fact
against the law?

Policemen are constantly
breaking the law.

It's one of the many
ways we have
of upholding it.

I give you my word.

Help me with Rhodes,
and we'll wipe
the slate clean.

You want to be careful
with those eyes.

They could be
assault with
a deadly weapon.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello.

Hello.

Is this the lady
that sleeps naked?

[CHUCKLES] I thought
we had a date this evening.

Oh, we did.

But something came up.
See, there's this, uh,

woman I know,

and the night before
she races her greyhound,
she rings me up...

And, uh,
I talk dirty to her
on the telephone.

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

It brings her luck. Touche.

Mmm.

Are you busy tomorrow? No, I'll be free.

Oh. Terrific.

Sensational.

Pick you up
around 1:00?

I'll be waiting.
By the way,
I'm glad you called.

Of course you are.

Tomorrow. Toodle-oo.

[DIALING]

ANNOUNCER: Connors to serve,
first game, first set.

15-Love.

Would you like
some strawberries
and champagne?

30-Love.

What's the matter?

Did I say anything was?

No, but you're
a loud thinker.

It was just a mood.
They come and go.

Is this one coming
or going?

Going. Uh...

I think we ought
to have this lanced.

Mmm!

RONNIE: Jack...
Jack Rhodes.

Hello, Ronnie. Center court, aren't you?

Yes, I told you
he was there.

Gillian Bromley,
Ronnie Taylor.

Hello.Hello.

Gillian Bromley, Jack Rhodes,
I'd like you to meet
Maxwell Levy.

Miss Bromley. Mr. Levy.

Mr. Rhodes.Great pleasure.

I'm told you own the best
restaurant in London,
Mr. Rhodes.

That's what
I tell everybody.

Why don't you two
do a swap?

One Chinese dinner
for an order
of diamonds to go.

Great idea.

We were just thinking
of strolling over
to court number six,

see how young Tracy Austin's
getting along.

Why don't you two
come along with us?

You go ahead.
I'll join you.

Great.

Do you play tennis,
Miss Bromley?

JACK: Beautiful, that
was just beautiful.

I can see why women
find him attractive.

He's very
handsome, I hear. What?

JACK: I said I see why women
find him attractive.

No. You said you hear.

Right.

What do you mean, you hear?
You've just met him.

Did I?

We're talking
about Maxwell Levy.

I was.

Well, you just met him
with that friend of yours,
Ronnie Taylor.

No, no, no, no.

You met Maxwell Levy.
I met Peter Pritchard.

Lovely guy, Peter.

Failed actor by trade.
Never quite made it.

Ronnie said he was born
a has-been.

An actor? Mmm. Both of them.

They've been married
for years.

They don't have
any children as far
as I know.

It's a shame.
They've tried so hard.

[LAUGHS] Don't be ridiculous.

Of course you didn't hire
him to play the part. Oh, yes, I did.

For 50 pounds
and the use of my body.
After I'm dead.

How did you know
I didn't know him?

When you told me
that story

about jumping in the sack
with him for luck,

I hoped
it wasn't true.

Well, Gillian?

Do you know a man called
Chief Inspector Willis?

Why?

Because he knows
you extremely well.

He's been on to me
for some time but never
did anything about it.

He threatened
to arrest me
from time to time,

but I thought he was
toying with me.
I didn't know what he wanted.

It's called
policeman's foreplay.

He certainly looks
positively spiritual
when he discusses you.

Anyway,
about a month ago,

he told me he was
arranging for us to meet.

He knew you were going to be
at the Lloyd Palmer party.

How'd he get you there?

Lloyd Palmer
and my father
are old friends.

They share a lot
of the same
insensitivities.

It was easy
for me to be invited.

Stealing
the diamonds upstairs?

I did that
on my own.

I see.

What makes Willis so sure
I'm what he thinks I am?

Lots of things...
Your whereabouts,

you appear and suddenly
diamonds disappear,

your success
in business,

your money,
coming from
no traceable source.

Is there anything I can
say that you'll believe
from now on?

Why should I?

You haven't been honest
with me about anything.

The way I feel
about you is honest.

Oh, sure, your mouth
is crazy about me.

It's your mind that wants
to send me to prison.

Don't be silly.
That's the last
thing I want.

Where the hell do you think
Willis wants to send me?
Summer camp?

Now what?

You tell your friend
Mr. Willis,

that I never mentioned
another word about
Hatton Garden.

Then?

Then he tells Daddy
about your problem,

and you go
directly to jail.

Charming right
to the end.

Why didn't you
go to bed with me?

I beg your pardon.I'm sure Willis
suggested it.

It was always implicit
in what he said.

It would have suited him
right down to the ground.

You laid down on the job
or rather you didn't. Why?

Because I can't do
that unless I care.

And you don't.

Willis used me because
he knew of your weakness
for women.

Fondness. Fondness?

I had no intention of being
added to what must be
an extremely long list indeed.

I did the best I could...

All things considered,

I think you'd better
come in now.

[LAUGHS]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

GILLIAN: Oh, my God!
That's better
than speeding.

[JACK LAUGHS]

JACK: It does have
its high points,
doesn't it?

GILLIAN:
It certainly does.

Will you
tell me something? Sure.

If that dreadful
Cary Grant approach
hadn't worked,

did you have another
one up your sleeve?

Of course.

I have my fail-safe
approach. What's that?

Well, if I spot
a woman at a party
that's really beautiful...

Not as beautiful
as you,
but beautiful...

I kind of sidle up to her
and I say,

"Excuse me,
but I couldn't help
but notice...

"You've never really
been sexually fulfilled,
have you?"

She says, "Oh, boy,"
and walks away.

A few minutes later,
I walk up and say,

"I mean, have you
ever fainted?"

And then I walk away.

Well, a few minutes
go by.

Pretty soon
her curiosity is
kind of piqued,

and pretty soon she comes
up to me and says,

"What do you mean,
fainted?"

I say, "Well, I mean,
at the end of
this sexual exercise,

"do you faint?"

"Because with me,
they always,

"always faint dead away."

Well, I didn't faint.

Hmm. Well,
it's the first time.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Wouldn't Inspector Willis
absolutely adore this?

Yes.

I think we owe
him something.

You know,
for bringing
us together.

Something special.

What do you suggest?

Hatton Garden.

You're mad. No, I'm not.

The only reason
I haven't taken a run
at those diamonds before

is I never did know
the exact date they were
being shipped to Antwerp.

I don't know why
I didn't think of asking
Scotland Yard.

You're exactly what
he said you were,
aren't you?

Only a little better.
I'm a collector
of diamonds...

Especially diamonds
that other people
have already collected.

And you've never
been caught?

Rhodes, 12.
Police...

[BLOWS] Zero.

Who are you calling? Willis.

You're calling Willis?

You're calling Willis. Why am I calling him?

Why are you whispering?
You haven't dialed yet.

Why am I
calling him?

Tell him that I mentioned
the name Maxwell Levy
right out of the blue.

It's ringing. Good.

In a sense,
I won't be lying,
will I?

Only in the sense
that you won't be
telling the truth.

Still ringing. Yeah.

You can never get a cop
when you want one.

And we don't need this one.
I'm not going to go
through with it.

I need that date. Then get it yourself.

I'm not going
to do something

that's going to put
you in jail forever.

Besides,
I do not wish
to be electrocuted.

You can't be electrocuted
from just six volts.

Besides, if you got
such a charge out of stealing
two diamond earrings,

think of the charge
you'll get

when you steal
30 million dollars'
worth of diamonds.

[GILLIAN LAUGHS]

[SQUEALS]

So yesterday, Rhodes finally
asked about Mr. Levy.

I never said so.

It's perfectly obvious
from your mutinous
expression.

All right, he asked,
but you'll have
to catch him yourself,

because I'm finished.

I see.

Then you leave me
no alternative
but to have a word with...

Oh, yes, my father.
I've come to
a conclusion, Inspector.

I really don't think
the government and he would
miss each other that much.

So it would be
a jolly good idea
if you did tell him about me,

and then we can wipe
the slate clean.

I'm sorry, but that's the way
I feel about it.

Because I have absolutely
no intention of passing on
the date of that shipment.

Well, let me
put it another way.

Do the names
Halliday, Hornfield,

Kinnersley,
and Drampton mean
anything to you'?

Uh, no.
I don't follow you.

They're all
women's prisons.

There's a fairly
large selection of them
available in this country,

but I think
I should point out

they do have
one thing in common.

They are all
poisonously
unpleasant.

I'll manage somehow.
Others have. Yes.

Well, let me draw
a persuasive little
picture for you.

Where you
will be going,

they have the oddest
notions of hospitality.

First, they shave
your head.

Then they
delouse you,

feed you with something
that a ravenous crocodile
would pass up,

then lock you up
for the night with unfriendly
lesbian companions,

and you have
your own private little
chamber pot under the bed.

Oh, it is very unpleasant,
I know.

That's why I urge you
to think again and reflect

whether you shouldn't
save yourself all that misery

by passing on
the date to Rhodes.

Well, take your time.
Reflect well.

I've taken my time,
and I've reflected well.

And?

I've decided
to save myself
all that misery.

I'll pass on the date. Splendid.

When is it?

You'll get it
in a day or two.

Run along now.

Oh, Inspector, I thought
I might send you
a little present, a kitten.

They're ever such fun
if you strangle them right.

Jack, I must say, I don't see
the point of poring over
all these maps and charts.

We're never going to
pull it off because
we don't have the date.

It's as simple as that.

Do you really think
I don't know that?

I think I'm getting
a little old for
all this thievery.

Nigel, after this one,
we'll quit for keeps.

Marry nice girls,
have kids, grow fat,
drink port.

I like port. [LAUGHS]

Jack, we'll need
a million dollars.

Maybe more. So what?

We're going to make
30 million dollars,
maybe more.

[INHALES] But look,
don't you see there's
absolutely no...

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Do you mind
getting the door?

Do you mind?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Uh...

Nigel Lawton.Yes.

Gillian Bromley. Hello.

I've heard
a lot about you.

Well, I've heard
absolutely nothing
whatever about you.

JACK: Hello, beauty.Hello.

Like another
bubble bath?Absolutely love one.

Did it go all right? Yes, it was fine.

Oh, excuse me.

What were we
talking about?
Oh, I know.

The date.
Miss Bromley is going
to get us the date.

You are going to get us
the date, aren't you?

Yes, I am. Yeah, she is.

Where are you
going to get it from?
Hatton Garden, I suppose.

No, Scotland Yard.

All right,
don't tell me then.

You see, I have
this great admirer
at Scotland Yard.

He's going
to go fishing.

The date is the bait,
and I'm the fish.

Jack, I read the other day
about a chap in America

who used a computer
to embezzle...

I'll have some coffee. How do you want it?

Black. Okay.

There's some already made
in the kitchen.

You listening?Yes.

When he got the money,
he took it to Russia
and bought...

Do you want coffee? Yes, please.

10 million...
Black, no sugar.

10 million dollars'
worth of diamonds. Do you want something to eat?

I don't know
what's in there. Sandwich, a biscuit...

No thanks. When he got the diamonds
back on the open market,

he found they were
worth 13 million.
So far so good.

Then he tried to convert
the diamonds back into cash,
and that's when they got him.

NIGEL: See? Yeah.

We'll need passports.

You haven't listened
to a single word
I've been saying, have you?

All right, passports.
What name?

Something exotic.

Oh, Jack, you're not gonna do
another of your accents,
are you?

[IN SPANISH ACCENT] Yes.

All right.
What else? Radioman.

What about your friend
Ferguson? The chap you were
in the signal corps with.

He's been out
of the trade
for about 10 years.

He's a tough cookie
though.

Pilot?Ernst Mueller.

Last I heard he was flying
Cubans into Africa.

I wonder if Castro
knows he's a Nazi. Thank you.

NIGEL: Who cares?
He's a damn good pilot.Yeah.

I need someone
who knows Amsterdam
really well.

Shouldn't be too hard.

This may be
a silly question,

but if we are
successful,

how do we then go about
converting the stones
into cash?

Oh, that's exactly
what Jack's best at.

Not as far
as I'm concerned.

Thank you.

Oh, could we get
back to work, please?

[TELEPHONE RINGS] Hello.

[IN GERMAN ACCENT] Hello,
this is your world traveler
from Germany.

How are you?

A lot better
since the phone rang.

Holy cheese and crackers!

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
I called you
as soon as I could.

No, I meant the call
before yours.

My friend finally called,

and he wants to
see me on the 28th
at 11:00.

On the 28th?

He's got a lot
of confidence in me.
That's one weak.

Do you think
that you can do it?

Of course I can
do it.

Jack? Yes?

I do miss you.

Are you in bed? Yes.

No nightgown? No.

No jammies? Neither.

Why don't you meet me
in Paris tonight?
Plaza Athenee.

Really? 9:00.

I'll be there.

Gillian? Yes?

Come as you are. Absolutely.

Bye-bye.

Ernst.

Rhodes.
My friend.
Good to see you.

Good to see you.

If it is Rhodes,
it must be diamonds.

Still smart
as a whip. When is the job?

Soon. London. It is London?

Starts in London,
then you fly over
the Channel.

You know how many times
I fly the Channel?

Oh, many times.

This time, you won't be
carrying any bombs.

Won't be nearly as much fun,
but then, you'll go
a lot faster.

If we dropped more
bombs last time,
different story.

Well, you can't
win them all.

We don't win
any of them.

You got to promise
not to strafe
any civilians.

Always,
the jokes, hmm?

What do I fly?HS-125.

HS-125.
Nice plane.
Alone?

I need a radioman. No, no.

I am very good
with radio.

I don't know how
to tell you this, Ernst,

but you have
a German accent.

What German accent?

I already have
another man.

Okay, okay,
whatever you say.

Who else
have you found?

Nigel Lawton. Good man.

Please,
one more question.

Three million dollars. What is my share?

That is your share.

Three million?
Are you serious?

Yes. I have no words.

I need you
in London tomorrow.

Tomorrow,
I will already
be there one day.

MAN: ♪ What keeps
this old man kicking

♪ Boogie
Boogie woogie

♪ Boogie all night long

♪ Boogie
Boogie woogie

♪ Boogie can't go wrong

♪ He took two steps forward

♪ Then he jumped back
and split

♪ I said, watch out, old man
You'll fall and bust your hip

♪ He said, age is in the mind

♪ It's not a thing
that you see

♪ I may be old
but the young girl's
with me

♪ She's doing that boogie

♪ Boogie woogie

♪ Boogie can't go wrong

♪ He took two steps forward

♪ Then he jumped back
and split

♪ I said, watch out, old man
You're gonna bust your hip

♪ He said, age is in the mind

♪ It's not a thing
that you see

♪ I may be old
but the young girl's
with me

♪ She's doing that boogie
Boogie woogie

♪ Doin' that boogie
all night long

♪ Boogie boogie woogie

♪ Keep doing that boogie
can't go wrong

Ho!

♪ Boogie all night long

♪ Boogie
Boogie woogie

♪ Keep doing that boogie
Can't go wrong ♪

Hey! Whoo!
Take five, fellas,
take five.

Fergie! Jack, how are you?
Hey buddy!

Hey, buddy.Say hello to
Gillian Bromley.

Hello to
Gillian Bromley.Hello.

Come on. Sit up front
with the rhythm section,
all right?

I see the Salvation Army's
still making
your clothes.

You're still faking it
on piano.

♪ Mean to me

♪ Why is he always
so mean to me? ♪

Ah, you know,
as long as I keep
missing the cracks.

Hey, it's been
a while, Jack. A while and a half.

How do you like Paris?Aw, the people are cool.

I'm all right,
can't complain.

Can you bear leaving
them for a while?
Coming to London?

Any special place
in London?

Hatton Garden.

Some outfit going
to lose a bit of inventory?

All of them.

BOTH: ♪ Ain't misbehaving

Very ambitious, this guy. Man's got to grow.

Who else is in on
the gig?

Nigel.

Mmm, lovely, lovely. Ernst Mueller.

Do I know him?

You were in the German army,
were you?

[LAUGHS] I flunked
the color test.

How about it? You in?

Tell me about the wages.

Well, give or take a few bob,
30 million dollars.

You get 10 percent.

BOTH: ♪ I'm misbehaving

You provide lunch? You got it.

All right. Got to make
a phone call.

Okay.

The man's
a natural high, huh?

Absolutely. Yeah.

You've known him
a long time. Mmm-hmm.

Why has he never
been caught?

Because he's too damn smart.

What would happen if, um...

Somebody crossed him?

I hate to even think
about that, baby.

[IMITATING HUMPHREY BOGART]
Sam, I thought I told you
never to play that song.

Sorry, boss.
Got to catch a plane
to Amsterdam.

Call Nigel, he will
give you the details.

♪ Grab your coat
and grab your hat ♪

JACK: Beautiful city,
Amsterdam.

It's where the light bulbs
come to have a vacation. [GILLIAN LAUGHS]

Nigel says this De Gooyer
is the best driver
in Europe,

and really knows
the city well.

GILLIAN: Oh, what about me?
I'm fast.

I know, I know,
you'd like to drive.

No offense,
but you're just a little
too kamikaze for me.

Why don't
we leave the job
to a professional?

Oh, don't the shops
stay open late here?

Don't let the red
lights throw you.

All they have here
are massage parlors,

leather whips,
bondage,
French lessons.

It's kind of a home
away from home. Mmm-hmm.

Ah, here we are.

You know what
always surprises me?

Some of these girls
are chic and elegant.

In fact...
Is De Gooyer in?

Come in and sit down.

I wouldn't sit there.
You might catch something.

Don't know where
that couch has been.

Hello. Hello, can I help you?

I'm just waiting.

You want
to see me? De Gooyer?

You want to have
some business here?

Someone for you both
or to watch or what?

No, something
a little different,
actually.

Whatever you like.
If you show us once,
we can do it.

I'm Jack Rhodes.

Oh, good.

Sit down.
We'll talk.

Couldn't we go
somewhere a little
more private?

They can't hear,
and she's dead
above the waist.

So you need a driver.

Right.

We're talking about
a lot of money.

Yeah.

Do you need anything else,
like making people disappear?

Either temporarily
or permanently,
I can do both tricks.

You do that a lot,
I bet.

I like it.

What about
terrorist work?
You like that, too?

Terrorist is a dangerous word.
I prefer mercenary.

So, what do you think?

I think I don't like you.

I've only known you
a few minutes,

but already I don't
like you for years.

Let's go.

You came here
to insult me?

No, it just
worked out that way.

Move.

Or what?

I don't want to have
a fight in a whorehouse.

Cause a lot
of commotion.

You don't want
to be with this boy,
do you?

Don't push your luck. Incredible face, you know.

If you worked for me,
I could retire.

[GROANS]

[GRUNTS]

MRS. WILLIS: Cyril, hurry up!

Breakfast's getting cold,
as usual.

Cyril, I don't
like your tie.

You gave it to me, dear. That's no excuse.

Cyril, look
at the newspaper.

Something in it? The date.

That made
the front page again?

It's the 25th.

Six more days
and you'll finish
at the Yard.

Hopefully,
in a blaze of glory.

My final case,
the capstone
of my career.

What difference
will it make?

It has to do
with something sacred.

Cyril, you're
making no sense,
as usual.

It's about the sanctity
of property.

Of all the crimes
of which man is capable,

the one that really rankles
my soul is the violation
of property.

Well, there is your murder,
of course, rape,
kidnap, wife-beating.

Ridiculous.

But life,
however precious,
life perishes.

It's only property
that lives on and on.

Now, the man
I intend to arrest

has the presumption
to usurp for himself

that which we consider
to be the most valuable
property of all, diamonds.

The dearest, noblest,
most direct link we have

to the very core
of the planet itself.

The filthy bugger. Yes, dear.

[TELEPHONE RINGS] I'll answer it.

8-3.

Oh.

Hold on a moment.
It's Pilbrow.

Says it's a matter
of some importance.

Hello, Pilbrow.

What?

That's not possible.

Tell them
we'll come at once.

I'll meet you there. Trouble, dear?

Try catastrophe.

I'm afraid
it's final, Inspector.

The Diamond House
has decided
to make the shipment

on the 10th of next month,
rather than the 28th.

May I remind you, sir,
of the many anonymous tips
we've received in the past?

These were never this
close to a shipment,

and never so specifically
Hatton Garden.

What exactly did the caller
say about the 28th?

Well, he merely said
to watch for trouble
at that time.

That's good
enough for us.

Let me assure you, sir,
but nothing, nothing at all
will happen.

I personally
will stay with
the shipment

until it's safely
on its way to
Luton Airport.

Then I'll fly on ahead
to Antwerp and cover
its arrival there.

Well, why would you not fly
all the way with them
yourself, Inspector?

Because I want to make sure
that the Belgian police

have taken all possible
precautions at their end.

I hope you're not
taking this too lightly,
Inspector.

I must urge, sir,
most strongly
not to alter your date.

Once you do that,
from then on Diamond House

will have its timetable
dictated by tipsters.

Give us one hour.

Inspector Willis.Yes, Pilbrow?

We've just had a call
from Diamond House, sir.

Oh? The 28th it is.

Aha.

Are you pleased, sir?Of course, I'm pleased.

I'm just not able
to applaud at this
particular moment.

Have you any idea, sir,
who might have
given them the tip?

Yes, I have.

I did.You, sir?

How else could we
get the massive
security we need?

You're a genius, sir.
An out-and-out genius.

In a few more days,
I may be a retired
out-and-out genius.

Sir?

No more villains to hunt,

no more midnight oil
being burnt
stalking the prey.

From now on,
it's the slippers
and the pipe,

and listening to the chimes
of that bloody clock
on the mantelpiece,

and to Mrs. Willis,
of course.

But before that happens,
I'm going to get Rhodes.

The thought of him
rotting in jail

might make
my rotting at home
slightly more bearable.

Yes, quite, sir.
But what is he up to?

We know he's been in Germany
and Paris and seen Mueller
and Ferguson.

But I don't understand
what he would want

with an engineer
and a piano player.

The answer to that question
is absolutely nothing.

But he might want
a great deal
from an ex-pilot

and an ex-air
traffic controller.

[RINGS] WILLIS: Don't answer it.

It's been so long
since I've had you
to myself.

Now then.
I am too old
to play the cat,

and you're far
too pretty
for a mouse.

You promised
to leave me alone.

I intend to keep
that promise.

The minute you
stop breaking it?

Exactly.

So you gave
Rhodes the date?

Yes. And?

There is no "and."
That was the end of it.

The subject never
came up again?

It did not.

Immediately thereafter,
he just started hopping
from country to country?

How did you know that?

Because Her Majesty's police

and Her Majesty's immigration
both happen to work
for the same majesty.

Why did he go
to Germany?

I don't know.

Have you any idea
why you joined him
in Paris and Amsterdam?

He is supposed to find me
attractive, remember?

Oh, yes.

Where did you go
in Amsterdam?

I went to the red
light district,

and I found an extremely
nice little place...

Where was Rhodes
during this, um,
art appreciation?

He was with me.

All the time?Yes.

You're lying,
you know.Please yourself.

Still mutinous?

Well, in case you need
to bolster your
flagging enthusiasm

for our little project,

let me assure you
women's prisons
have not altered one whit

since we last
talked about them.

One more turn
of the screw?

Well, I don't think you
can catch him anyway,

so I might
as well tell you.

He went to these countries
to try to recruit help.

I don't know who he saw,
because I waited behind
to get the date from you.

How does he plan
to steal them? [DOOR OPENS]

Hello. Hello.

Should I come back?

No, you're just
in time to meet someone.

Hello.

Chief Inspector Willis.
Jack Rhodes.

"Inspector" is
quite sufficient.

"Chief" strikes me
as somewhat tribal.

The inspector
is an old friend
of the family.

I've known Gillian ever since
she was a little girl,
stealing around the house.

Just visiting
our country,
Mr. Rhodes?

No, I'm a permanent
resident, actually.

Really?Mmm.

What is it, the damp
and drizzle that
dazzles you?

No, I'm one of England's
foul-weather friends.

[LAUGHS]
That's very good.

Lots of exciting
challenges over here.

You enjoy a good challenge,
do you?

If the prize is right.

I like him. I knew you would.

Well, I'm afraid
I must get back
to the Yard.

Your work must
be very exciting.

Oh, it's routine,
mostly.

It does have
its rewards, though.

At least it did...
I shall be retiring
in just a few days.

Mandatory, unfortunately.Why is that?

Well, it seems that I had
the bad taste to age
rather than die on them.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Well, that hardly
seems fair, does it?

I mean, your side
has to retire,

and the other side
just becomes little, old,
rich, bad guys.

That's right.

Not very fair
on me, either.

I have to retire
to the most measly
little pension.

But I shall miss it all...

The criminals,
the immorality,
the deception.

All the things that
make life worthwhile.

[LAUGHS] Well,
I mustn't complain.

I've achieved pretty much
what I set out to do.

Lots of heads on the wall?

One always felt
there was room
for just one more.

Mmm. Well, I hope to
see you again.

Oh, I'm sure you will.
Would you be
my guest?

Oh, how kind.
Your restaurant?

People say the food
is good enough to eat.

I might just
take you up on that.

Now, if you should find
yourself in the vicinity
of Scotland Yard

before the week's out,
one never knows.

Oh, I'd love to see it.

I'd love to show it to you.
Goodbye.

Inspector.

I'll show myself out.
And give my very best
to your father.

Did he dust
your entire body
for my fingerprints?

God!
Don't joke about it.

You don't seem to appreciate
how much he wants you.

Oh, I do.
I'm looking forward
to seeing him again.

Do you know what?

I want you.

When?

Now. Where?

Wherever.

I have to make
a phone call.

Do you need
permission? Cute.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]

Nigel.

I have to
talk fast, Nigel.

I, uh, I need the vehicle.

Could you arrange that?

Good. No,
I have a driver.

The best.

What about
the Pakistinian-
Arabian situation?

You know, Turhan Bey
and Maria Montez.

Uh-huh.

Excellent.

I have to call
you back, Nigel.

Something
just came up.

Hello, Jack.

Hello, Nigel. Morning, Miss Bromley.

GILLIAN: Hello.

Ta-da! Aha.

How are they
getting along?

Mueller and Fergie? Yeah.

Mueller loves him.

I think it must be
his dark glasses.

You have enough decals?

Yes, plenty,
I should think.

Radio. Yup. In here.

Any problems
getting the plane?

No. One has
one's friends.

Here's the lease.

You'll be pleased
to see we're
a Panamanian corporation.

Based in Beirut.

With a Liechtenstein
charter.

Did you remember to
write in "diamond thieves"?

No, I put
"dope smugglers."

Didn't want
to arouse suspicion.

Very sensible.

Hello, Fergie. Hey, Jack,
how are you?

How do you
like the plane? Excellent.

Beautiful.
It's a Steinway.

Good to see you. Remember Gillian?

Hello, Miss Bromley.
We meet again. Hi, yes.

Ernst Mueller,
Gillian Bromley.Hello.

Hmm. He doesn't
talk much.

Jack, when are
you going to
tell us the date?

The day before
the caper.

That's not very
sporting of you.

What's the matter?
Don't you trust us?

You're right.

It's the 28th.

Good, God,
that's tomorrow!

Well that's the day
before the caper.

Miss Bromley
is in this with us?

Without Miss Bromley,
there'd be no "this"
to be in.

[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]

Oh, absolutely.

What did he say?

I think he wants
to jump you.

[SNICKERS]

MAN ON PA:
British Overseas Airline,

flight number 76,
now arriving
from London.

Welcome to Antwerp.

[MAN ON PA SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Monsieur,Sharma?

[IN AN ACCENT]
Yes, sir. I'm Mr. Sharma.

Yes, sir.
Can I help you, sir?

This your wife?

This is my wife, yes, sir.
This is my wife, yes, sir.

She, uh, lower the veil.

Would you lower
your veil, my dear?

She's shy
to the point
of modesty.

Thank you for
the excellent stamping
of my passport.

Your passport, sir. Good day.

That was the worst
Peter Sellers
I have ever heard.

I wasn't doing
Peter Sellers.

I was doing Peter Sellers
doing Omar Sharif. [HUFFS]

[WOMAN ANNOUNCING ON PA]

Inspector Willis?

This is
Inspector Vanderveld.

The people you
suspect are under
strict surveillance.

My men have
followed the couple
to L'Hotel Splendide.

Now, why should
we not arrest them?

Because as yet,
there's no evidence
against them.

If the diamonds
are taken anywhere,

my guess is,
it will happen in Antwerp

somewhere between
the airport and their arrival
in the city.

But why should you think
the diamonds are in danger?

Do have some inside
information? Have you,
perhaps, had a tip off?

Instinct, Inspector.

The best part of a policeman,
which allows him
to think like a criminal.

Now, I'm only asking
your permission for me
to be in on the case.

In on the case?

[LAUGHS] But if, as you say,
there is no evidence,
well, there is no case.

Of course. I simply mean that
I'd like to be in on the case,

just in case there is one,
a case, if you follow
my thinking.

Oh, dear.

Look, once I'm quite sure that
the diamonds are safely on
their way from Hatton Garden,

I will fly on ahead to Antwerp
and meet you at the airport
before they arrive.

Do I have
your cooperation?

Rest assured, we shall do
everything possible

to make sure that
the shipment is safe.

Always a pleasure
to talk to you, Inspector.

The man is a lunatic.
Good night.

[BUZZES]

Another shipment
ready to go.

It will be the
normal routine
for loading.

Yes, sir.

I don't mean to be rude,
but what exactly
are we doing here?

Well, we're in Holland.

I thought I'd show
you a windmill.

You've seen one,
you've seen them all.

Mmm-hmm.
Right.

[SCOFFS] What's this
supposed to be?

This is what you drive
to get us into the airport.

And hopefully out. Uh-huh.

How did it get here?

Nigel arranged it.

Hmm.
He's a handy man.

Smart, too.

If we botch this up,
he'll still be alive.

From this moment on,
it starts to get
a little sticky.

So if you want out,
now's the time
to say so.

When you say "out,"
what do you mean?

You tell me.

What's my
share in this?

Charming.

Right to the end.

You haven't told me
anything about it.

I don't know what's
going to happen.

I never tell
anybody everything.

Never?

If I told you everything,
it'd scare the hell
out of you.

I doubt it.

One more thing.

What?

I love you.

The diamonds
are being loaded
at this very moment.

I'll see you shortly.

All secure, sir.

Our people are in position,
ready and waiting.

Very good. I just spoke
to Inspector Vanderveld.

Our couple is still
under surveillance
at the hotel.

Excellent, sir.

Well, I'm on my
way to Antwerp.

Good hunting, sir.

Just take it easy.

Plenty of time.
You don't have to drive
to the airport fast.

Don't panic.

Golf-Bravo-Bravo-Romeo-Tango.

FERGIE:
Loud and clear, Nigel.
Loud and clear.

Golf-Bravo...

...Bravo...

...Tango.

Mother's in
the maternity ward.

Did you say mother?

I said mother.

Mother's expecting twins.

Mother's on the way
to delivery room.

Romeo-Tango,
ready for takeoff.

MAN: [ON RADIO]
Romeo-Tango,
clear for takeoff.

Surface wind,
05.51, 3 knots.

Romeo-Tango rolling.

Mother's given birth.

V-1.

V-R.

V-2.

V-1. Rotate.

V-2.

Gear up.

Gear up.

Gear up.

Gear up.

We're close
to the midway point.

We got to be near them
when London switches
them over to Antwerp.

He's somewhere here.

There's only
one sky between us.

Golf-Bravo-Bravo-Romeo-Tango,
this is Antwerp.

Antwerp, this is
Golf-Romeo-Tango,

Romeo-Tango,
this is Antwerp.

We have an emergency.
The airfield is closed.

Divert to Amsterdam.

Antwerp, this is
Golf-Romeo-Tango.

We are diverting
to Amsterdam.

Give me a heading
for Amsterdam.

That's the fourth time
in the last three months
they've diverted us.

The new course is 067.

Amsterdam, this is
Golf-Bravo-Bravo-Romeo-Tango.

We are diverting
from Antwerp.

You're going to have
to hustle if we're going to
make Antwerp

before they groove in
on Amsterdam, eh?

What would I do
without you?

Drive to the far side
of the field.

Bonjour,Inspector. Bonjour.

The shipment is
safely on its way.

Ah, splendid.
Then we're almost
halfway there.

Right on time.

What do we do now?

We wait.

Good morning, Antwerp.

This is Golf-Bravo-Bravo-
Romeo-Tango.

MAN: Romeo-Tango, roger.
Runway 26 right.

Wind is southwest,
9 knots.

Gear down. Gear down.

Three greens.

CYRIL: So far, so good.

Now we are
halfway there.

Amsterdam, this is
Golf-Bravo-Bravo-
Romeo-Tango.

MAN ON RADIO: Romeo-Tango,
go ahead.

Amsterdam, this is
Golf-Romeo-Tango requesting
landing clearance.

Romeo-Tango, roger.

Clear for final approach.

Runway 17 left.

The wind is southwest
at seven knots.

Gear down. Gear down.

Three greens.

All right.
Here we go, beauty.

What the hell is this?

Looks like some kind
of security check.

We've never
stopped here before.

I don't like it.

Aah!

What's going on
back there?

Move, move!
Move, move!

[MAN SPEAKING FRENCH]

Was anyone hurt? Just their pride.

What?

Only a little stoned.

You ready to take
your driver's test,
Miss Bromley?

Jolly well bet
your bottom I am.

[SIREN WAILING]

So, Inspector...

Our fears seem to have
been for naught.

What is wrong?Quartz!

They are all quartz.

Absolutely worthless.

Merde!

We're coming up
to a fork in the road.

I want you to go right.

Mr. Rhodes, I haven't
said this before, but...

I do love you.

Ever such a lot.

Thank you, darling.
Now hang a right.

They're down
to their last rabbit!

We're almost home, babe!

What a pity.
I was just getting
into this.

Shoot, baby,
they're here! [LAUGHS]

Just passed
your driver's test.

Bet your ass I did.

Whoo-hoo!

Okay. Head for heaven!

[BELL RINGING]

Going out?

Yes.

With all that? I'm not coming back.

You can get in touch
with my lawyer.

You mean you're leaving? What an amazing deduction.

Well, might one inquire
what made you
decide so suddenly?

It's not sudden.

Why should I stay
with you now that you're
an ex-chief inspector

who's the laughingstock
of the whole country?

Charity, perhaps?

Charity begins abroad.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

Registered letter
for the chief inspector.

Ex-chief inspector.

Sorry to hear
about that, Mrs. Willis.

Ex-Mrs. Willis.

Your royal highness.

Bye, Cyril.

A toast to us.

And the late
Inspector Willis.

How he must have felt
when they opened that
box at Antwerp.

Just quartz.

[SIGHS]

It is so
beautiful, darling.

Must be nearly
as big as the
Star of India.

That was the...

Dumbest,
most moronic thing
any man has ever done.

Quartz.

What?

The whole lot
was quartz.

Everything we
took from Amsterdam
was quartz.

I have a question,

but you must give it
to me very gently.

The packet in Antwerp
was quartz, right?

Right.

The packet we picked up
in Amsterdam was quartz?

Right.

Then here is
my question.

Where are the diamonds?

Hello, old Kirk.
Pleasant trip?

First class
all the way.

Any problems
with Customs?

No, I had no problems.

I've still got my, uh,
Scotland Yard ID card.

You remember
Miss Bromley.

Oh, Miss Bromley,
how nice to
see you again.

I was trying to
explain to Miss Bromley
who has the diamonds.

Ah, yes.

Well, I have
the diamonds.

He has the diamonds.

I'm here to sell them
to Mr. Rhodes.

You have the diamonds?

A Scotland Yard
chief inspector
in charge of shipments

has ample opportunity
to switch things around.

He's pulled off
the perfect crime,
except for one thing.

He doesn't know
who to sell the
diamonds to now.

That's right.

If I'd gone
looking for a fence,

they'd have been
delighted to turn me in
of all people.

I don't
believe this.

How much do you
want for the diamonds?

Well, uh...

Would you think that,
uh, $1 million is fair?

No. I don't think
$1 million is fair.

I think $3 million
is fair.

Well, let me say this.

I prefer your
definition of fair.

[LAUGHS]

I thought you would.

Then you two have
been conspiring
together all the time.

No, we've never
actually conspired.

You could call us
non-conspiring
conspirators.

For instance,
he knew there wouldn't
be any diamonds in Antwerp.

I wish you
could have seen my
expression of mortification

and humiliation.

I thought
I did it rather well.

Yes, I bet you did
do it rather well.

You tailed me
rather well.

And discovered
everything you wanted
me to discover.

The pilot, the wizard
radio operator...

In other words,
the second plane.

And Amsterdam.

It is the only
other city on
the diamond run.

Darling, what was it
that made you aware
of what was going on?

First of all,
there was his obsession
with catching me,

blackmailing you,
trusting that you wouldn't
double-cross or report him,

and that boring...

Boring story
about Maxwell Levy.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

You caught on
fairly soon, eh?

Roughly, how soon? Roughly, immediately.

Then it was soon.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Then you two were
exchanging signals
in my flat.

Yeah. Would you like
some champagne?

Oh, thank you.

Ah.

So the fact the Inspector
went to Antwerp

told you that he wanted
you to get away
with it in Amsterdam.

And that is why you
were almost positive

that the diamonds we stole
would be fakes, right?

Wrong. I was
absolutely positive.

Unidentified party
steals fakes.

Everyone assumes
they're diamonds,

but they'd
already been stolen.

Sheer perfection.

I've always had
this slight fondness
for sheer perfection.

God, you've gotten
away with stealing
$30 million.

Yes, but $30 million
won't buy what it used to.

[ALL CHUCKLING]