Rosaline (2022) - full transcript

Romeo?

To gaze upon you is like
drinking from the purest fountain.

The fairest stars in heaven
do entreat your eyes.

Oh, Romeo.

Forswear it, sight,
I never saw true beauty until this night.

Uh, Romeo?

Yes, my love?

Why are you talking like that?

Oh, um... I... I...
I felt like it sounded romantic.

- Oh.
- Don't you like it?

Um... Yeah, actually. It's kinda nice.



Then by yonder blessed moon, I vow.
I shall speaketh...

- Oh! Okay!
- Uh... Oh! Oh!

- Are you okay?
- I... No.

- Um…
- Okay.

- I'm okay. I'm okay. Yeah.
- Nice.

- God, I missed you.
- I missed you too.

You're the most beautiful woman
in all of Verona.

- Yes, keep talking.
- We're the most perfect pair.

Yes, don't stop.

They will be saying our names
for centuries.

- Oh, what will they say?
- They will say,

"Never were two hearts more destined
to entwine than those of the lovers…"

- Yes. Yes.
- "…Romeo and..."

Rosaline?



- Shit.
- What do we do?

- My father.
- I don't know what to do.

- You need to go. Hide.
- Right.

- Um. Um.
- Uh… Oh.

Rosaline!

Father?

I thought I heard voices.

Oh. I was, uh...
I was in the commode.

Talking to yourself?

It helps.

Huh. I have the opposite problem...

Sorry. Where were we?

Um…

For I... Oh,
they were saying our names for centuries.

Except, how can
they say our names for centuries if...

If... If... Um, what?

If we'll always be a secret?

We won't. We won't always be a secret.

You're a Montague. I'm a Capulet.

Our families have been enemies
for generations.

Rosaline, we will make this work,
I promise.

One day, we will be together forever.

Forever.

- Good night, Romeo.
- Good night, Rosaline.

A thousand times good night.

Nice one!

Romeo and Rosaline.

Hmm.

Does have a nice ring to it.

- Rise and shine, love!
- Romeo.

Oh, another late night, was it?

Oh, bloody hell.

Are you trying to ruin me?

I thought you were cool
with my sneaking around.

Sneaking around? Yes. Getting caught? No.

Cover your tracks, woman, please.

Sorry.

Although…

If I could date who I wanted to date,
read what I wanted to read,

there wouldn't be so much sneaking around
in the first place.

Would there, Nurse?

So unfair.

Right, well,
I went to nursing school for seven years,

and now this is what I do for a living.

So, yeah, life is unfair.

By the way, that's what I call covert.

Oh, my God.

Nurse.

Right, let's get you dressed.
You have lunch at noon.

Noon? Then why did you wake me so early?

'Cause your dad wants you
to wear this behemoth again.

No, get up, you lazy cow. Come on.

You can't live in this house forever,
Rosaline.

Your sisters are all off and married,
and now it's your turn.

I'm too young to get married.

- Too young?
- Yeah.

Look at you.

You're almost too old.

Your mother had three kids
when she was your age.

And don't you think she wanted more,
Father?

Of course she did. That's why we had you.

So, your father's told me all about you.

He even said that you wanted a career.
Is that right?

Yeah, I intend to be a cartographer.

A cartographer?

That... That's adorable.

My third wife had an ambition once.

Didn't care for it on her.

Mother of God.

But she wasn't as pretty as you are.

You know...

If my father told you so much about me,
Mr. Danieli…

…he must have mentioned Josephine.

Wherever I go, she goes.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Well... Well,
when do I get to meet this Josephine?

What do you mean?

She's sitting right there.

Josephine! No!
Take that out of your mouth right now!

Take it! Put it down!
We've been over this!

Just… wasn't into me, I guess.

Ah, that's right.
You wanna marry for love.

Is there any other reason?

Mmm. Money, status, land,
nicer living quarters.

No, no other reason.

We get one life, Paris.

I want mine to be different.
I want romance, passion, adventure.

Mm-hmm.

And this mystery boy, he gives you that?

Mm-hmm.

What?

I just wonder if all this sneaking around
is adding to the attraction.

Because, in my experience,

I've often found that it's pretty easy
to mistake danger and drama

for romantic passion.

But also, I mean,
who doesn't love a secret?

To live in a world of your own making,
just the two of you.

Uh... Okay.

Romeo! Hey, man.

Come on.

Stand back, coz!

You're surrounded by Montagues.

You might catch something.

They weren't even doing anything.

Not yet, they weren't.

We don't want any trouble, Tybalt.

"Oh, we don't want any trouble,
Tybalt."

Then, you should go back to
your side of town where you belong.

Why don't you and your, uh,
boy band meet us there?

Maybe we will.

You're welcome there any time.

How about I welcome my fist to your face?

I don't know what that means.

It means I'm going to punch you!

Oh! Whoa!

- Ho! Oh, oh, oh!
- Okay. Okay. All right. All right.

You all have big swords.

How about putting them
back in your pants now, yeah?

Come on. Let's go.

Benvolio, Mercutio, let's go.

Girl, that is one tasty Montague.

Can I tell you a secret?

For you.

I engraved it myself.

I shall wear it always.

Okay.

I'm sorry about my cousin.

Oh, well, you know…

I just wish we could live far,
far away from here.

Where would we live?

On a mountaintop.

In a cabin.

Made of wood.

Kinda sounds perfect.
I could write poetry all day.

Oh, you'll be such a gifted poet.

You could keep the house
and watch the children.

Yes.

Wait. What?

Hmm?

Uh, sorry. While you're off writing verse,
I'm home changing diapers?

Well,
the point is that we would be together…

In public, away from our families
and-and-and all of this hate.

- Right.
- Yeah.

- Right.
- Yeah.

Yes. Okay. Okay.

I love you.

Do you love me too?

- Oh.
- It's just...

- Fine.
- Sorry.

I... I... I wasn't expecting that.
It's just no one's ever really…

I should probably go. Um...

I... I, um... There's the guards, like,
everywhere tonight, so it's not safe.

No.

I'm just... Just get going
so I don't get captured by the guards.

Romeo, wait. The Capulet Ball is tomorrow.

Rosaline, you know
I can't be seen at any Capulet ga...

It's a masquerade ball.

We could dance together,
and no one will know that it's us.

I'll be there.

Great. I can't wait.

A thousand times can't wait?

I've been waiting for him to
say those words.

And then he finally does,
and I just freeze like an idiot.

I don't know what's wrong with me, Nurse.

There's nothing wrong with you, chicken.

They're not easy words to say.
You know, unless you mean them.

I... Of course I mean them.

- That beak all right?
- Yes.

It's okay.

Tonight, I'll make it up to him.

We'll dance. We'll sing. We'll kiss.

Everything will be back to normal.

I have wonderful news.

Just when we thought we had run out of
eligible bachelors in Verona,

a family has arrived from the north.

The Penzas.

And lucky for us, they have a son
who has just returned from the war intact.

Wonderful! You marry him.

That must be him.

Wait.

- Now?
- Now.

I'd rather eat rotten goat innards!

I have
a really good feeling. No, Rosaline.

I'd rather bathe in the filth
of ten thousand mules.

- Just give him a chance.
- No.

Rosaline.

How many times
do I have to tell you, Father?

I don't want an arranged marriage.

I wanna travel the world,
be free, have adventures,

and with someone that I actually love.

You're a woman.

You're not supposed to talk about
what you want.

Dario Penza, may I present to you
my beautiful daughter, Rosaline.

Hello.

Whatever.

Have a good time.

Shall we?

- So, how do you like living in Ver...
- Let me stop you right there, soldier boy.

- Soldier boy?
- Now, granted,

you are a big step up
from the toothless octogenarians

my father usually tries to pawn me off on…

But the fact remains:

I have literally no interest in you or in
this whole arranged marriage business.

No matter how many acres of land

or special breed of horse
your father's offering.

Cow.

Excuse me?

He's offering a cow.

That's about it, I'm afraid.
We're not rich.

Well, whoop-de-do.

- If I was you, I'd take the deal.
- Would you?

Yeah.
I have some land, some prospects.

I have all my teeth.

Could do a lot worse.

Well, you're not really my type.

You're not exactly my type either.

Hmm. And what is your type, Suede City?

Oh, my type is not a shrew.

Blow me.

Well, we're here.

Um, what's this now?

Yeah, she's a beaut, isn't she?

Yeah, that's not happening.

And why is that?

I have...

There's... It's...
It doesn't look safe. Mmm.

I was master helmsman of a six-sail
car rack. I assure you she's plenty safe.

What if there's a storm?

Do you see any storm clouds?

What if I have to go to the bathroom, hmm?

Oh. Oh, I see.

- What do you see?
- No, you're afraid.

What?

- No, I'm not.
- I can see it in your face.

No, I am not.

Look at the big tough girl
afraid of the water.

I am not afraid of the "water."

That's ridiculous.

I'm afraid of the fish.

- All of them?
- Yeah, it's a real thing.

Ichthyophobia. Look it up.

- All fish?
- Okay, that's good.

- Oh, this must be a nightmare for you.
- All right, fine. I'll go.

I'll go on your stupid boat.

Fantastic.

I have somewhere I have to be.
So, 30 minutes max.

- Would you like a hand?
- No!

Okay. Watch out for the... Sorry.

You got it.

Okay, just... Whoa. Whoa. Okay.

This is gonna be fun.

Rosaline? No.

Rosaline?

Rosaline?

Lucky knife.

Do you hunt?

Yeah, I hunt.

Huh. Yeah, I grew up on a farm
just north of here.

Some chickens, some cows,
a very moody goat.

Yeah.

And my mum,
she taught me how to cook even before I...

I have a boyfriend.

You do?

Yeah,
and he's waiting for me right this minute.

So we just really need to be
getting going and...

Your father never mentioned any boyfriend.

He doesn't know.

Well, you could've just told me that
in the first place.

We'll get you back.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh?

What?

Oh, my God.

What?

We can't go back in this!

We'll have to wait it out!

But we must go back!

The ball started an hour ago!

You're getting drenched.
Come sit down.

You said it wasn't gonna storm!

I'm a soldier, not a weatherman.

I hope you're happy.

I'm not.

Stop smiling.

Yeah, we're going backwards.

- Hey.
- Oh.

Um, I'm so sorry...

I, um, I'm... No, all right.

Who was that?

Great.

- Oh!
- Oh, oh.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Excuse me.

My... My bad.

It's okay.

H-Hi. I'm Romeo.

Juliet.

This has literally been
the worst night of my life.

The feeling's more than mutual.

Thanks for nothing.

Yeah, right there with you.

Actually, the pancetta wasn't terrible,
so thank you for that. But only for that.

Well, you're welcome for that.
But only for that.

Have a nice life!

Steve the Courier!

What up?

You did deliver my message this morning,
yes?

Message.

Uh, message.

Message.

Oh, yeah, I... I think so.

Y... You think so?

I, um...

Steve!

I definitely delivered all the mail.

And there was nothing for me in return?

No, no.
Just some letters for your pops.

That's it?

Yeah, that's it.

You're... You're sure?

Yeah, 100%.

You think he's angry with me?

I don't know why he would be.

Do you think he's tired of me?

I'm sure that's not it.

Then why haven't I heard from him?

Well,
there is a lot of plague going around.

You think he has plague?

He did look a bit boily.
But it's probably just hormones.

- Oh, my God.
- Rosaline!

Uh, your, um...

Oh, she knows.

Oh. Well, I saw Romeo crossing the bridge,
and he's headed this way.

Where the hell is he going?

Whatever.

It's fine. It's fine.

It's not like he can't have friends.

Thou art as glorious
as a winged messenger of heaven.

Except for whoever that is.

The fairest stars in heaven
do entreat your eyes.

The fairest stars.

Forswear it, sight.
I never saw true beauty until this night.

Son of a...

Madam.

Nurse! Sweet Montague, be true.
Stay but a little, I will come again.

O, blessed, blessed night!

Not getting out of bed today either?

Stay out.

Hey, I was listening to that.

It was horrible.

How long is this gonna go on for?

The sun is shining. The air is warm.

A nice long ride will do you good.

I'll call the stables
and have them saddle your horse.

I can't ride the horse.

Why not?

I have cholera.

You do not have cholera.

How do you know?

Because I am a registered nurse.

What's the point?

The point is you can't
lie around in bed all afternoon, chicken.

I'll never love again.

I think
you're being rather dramatic, Rosaline.

Nurse, you don't understand.

They were kissing, and-and-and touching,
and-and being all gross.

And he was saying things to her
that he just said to me three days ago.

Mmm.

- Three days.
- Yes.

- Three, Nurse.
- Yes.

Yet, the worst part is,

it's my fault.

I drove him to her.

If only I'd said "I love you"
when I had the chance.

- This should be fun.
- Oh, please.

Ah, young Rosaline.

Mmm. Uncle Capulet, what a surprise.

Rosaline.

Aunt Lady, welcome.

It's been too long.

Oh, you remember your cousin, Tybalt.

I do.

And our daughter
just returned from school.

Of course! Sweet little…

Juliet.

It's so good to see you, Rosaline.

Ah. Ow.

I think my earring's caught.

Oh, just, uh, just a little to the left.

Oh.

Wow. Wow. You're...

All grown up now. I know.

Oh.

The last time I saw you, you had gaps
in your teeth, and you came up to here.

Ah, it really has been a long time.

We have so much to catch up on.

- It's so lovely seeing you.
- Definitely.

Oh, my God.

Surely you know why I'm here, Adrian?

This is your quarrel,
brother, not mine.

It is all our quarrel.
You're a Capulet.

I don't like
the Montagues any more than you do,

but that's why there's laws.

We've let this get out of hand.

It is up to us
to make this city great again.

Can I say something?

If you really hate the Montagues so much,
you could just move.

I hear Siena is very nice.

You let your daughter speak
at the dinner table?

I'm sorry.
I thought this was my house.

Rosaline.

What? I don't go to his house
and tell him how to do things.

Rosaline,
take your cousin out to the garden.

I'm sure you have much to catch up on.

- But Dad, the swan.
- The garden. Rosaline!

- Juliet.
- Now.

Well, that was awkward.

Do you always talk to your dad like that?

Whatever.

God, I can't wait to be old like you.

You know, what's your rush?

You won't be young forever, you know?

And what about another year of,
uh, finishing school?

That could be fun.

Oh. I'm pretty finished.

Rosaline.

Can I tell you a secret?

But you can't tell anyone.

I'm listening.

I'm in love.

I met a boy.

And he is just the most wonderful boy
in the whole world.

I see. Um...

Where was it that you met this wonder boy?

Oh, the other night
at the masquerade ball.

And already,
I can't imagine my life without him.

It's time to go.

- He says things to me.
- Excuse me.

Beautiful, romantic things.
You've never heard such poetry.

Let me guess.

He compares you to the moon and the sun.

"The fairest stars in heaven
do entreat your eyes."

- How... How do you...
- It's Romeo Montague, isn't it?

Yeah.

Everybody knows Romeo Montague.

I'm afraid you're not the first
young maiden he's charmed with his…

High cheekbones and fancy words.

I'm such a fool.

Yeah, you kind of are.

But don't beat yourself up about it.

You know,
it could have happened to anybody.

Did it happen to you?

To me? No, please.

Juliet, you're not even of marrying age.

Why settle down with just one man
when you can, you know, live a little,

play the field,
sample at the buffet of life?

How do I do that?

Well, I could show you, if you want.

You would do that for me?

What are cousins for?

Now, who wants to buy us some drinks?

- Me!
- Right here! Right here!

No. That is just so funny,
because I love sports.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah, jousting, fencing, grappling.

Oh, my God! I am a jouster!

What? No way!

Please, let me buy you another drink.

Oh, um. We'll be right back.

Okay. Now you try.

Um, I don't know.

- These men are so…
- Easy?

Stupid!

Why on Earth would I want to spend

the rest of my life
with someone like that?

Ew.

Juliet, you're not here to find someone
to spend your life with.

You're here to just enjoy yourself
at their expense,

and then never see them ever again. Okay?

- Now, get out there and have some fun.
- Oh.

Go on.

Go. Go.

Um.

Uh, your... your mustache is so thick.

Oh, thank you.

Do you wanna have a seat?

May I?

Excuse me? Hello?

Hello? Over here!

Hi. If... If you could just...

- How are you, Rosaline?
- Admiral Shit-for-Brains.

Hello?

I'd like to order a drink, sir.

Thanks.

You know, when I first came to Verona,

I thought the place would be filled with
women looking for a respectable husband.

Turns out, not so much.

Are you the respectable
husband in that scenario?

How is it going with
that boyfriend of yours?

Good. Great, actually.

And is he here? I'd love to meet him.

No, he's... He's actually busy tonight.

Really?

Dive bars aren't really his scene anyway.

Ah. Shame.

Well, I imagine he's very respectable.

Yeah.

He's witty and smart, writes sonnets,

speaks several different
foreign languages.

You know, just really the opposite of you.

Is that so?

Well, I will leave you to it then.

You'll be missed.

All right. If you'll excuse me, I must go.

Hey, lady. Please,
you must let me see you some time.

Back off, fella.
She was talking to me.

Okay, bye.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Rosaline, I'm having so much fun.
Thank you.

Oh! Oh!

- Ow! Oh! Ow!
- Oh.

- Not again. It's caught.
- Sorry.

Every time.

Hmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

And the best part is
you were totally right.

I haven't thought about Romeo once.

Well, in that case,
shall we do it again tomorrow?

Yes.

My dearest Romeo.
I haven't heard from you in a while.

I hope you're okay.

- What is your name?
- Oh, it's Juliet.

Nothing much new over here,

except I'm being forced to babysit
my younger cousin,

and she's really a handful.

I've somehow fallen
into the role of big sister.

Check.

You know, older, wiser, more beautiful.

Checkmate.

At the very least, more worldly.

They definitely didn't teach that
in finishing school.

Wait till you get to page 74.

Be sure that he gets this.

But enough about her.

I miss you and your warm embrace,
sweet Romeo.

Yours, Rosaline.

Dearest Romeo.

You must be really busy,
because I still haven't heard from you.

I'm enclosing a map I made
of the A pen nine mountains.

I marked a trail to the perfect spot
for our remote mountaintop cabin.

Write me back.

I'm so lost without you.

Rosaline.

Where is that?

It's the island of Cyprus
and Famagusta Bay.

That's really beautiful.

I'm sure you hear that all the time,
though.

Uh, no, actually. I don't.

Well, it's true.

Romeo, are you alive?

Have you run out of quill ink?

Why do you not return my letters?

Steve!

The knight goes here,
and the pawn moves up one space.

And that is a Ponziani opening.

You're awesome.

Whoa! Whoa!

- Whoa.
- Whoa, whoa!

Oh, it's okay. It's okay.

You're fine. You're fine.

You're so handsome. Yes.

You are so good.

He's just a little spooked.

Rosaline.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Um, okay.

I… …have to tell you something.

Okay.

Look, this...

This really isn't easy to admit,
but I, um...

What are those?

Um…

He keeps writing me letters.

He's been writing you letters?

Uh, I mean,
I-I-I just thought you were done with him.

I am. I was. No.

No, I am. Um, but...
Uh, well, it's just, I feel...

Juliet!

Juliet!

Um.

Juliet!

He keeps showing up.

I won't go away until you talk to me,
sweet Juliet.

Please, Rosaline. You gotta help me.

Help you do what?

Stand back, Romeo. Don't come any closer.

Doth mine eyes deceive me?

All the heavens shine in your direction.

Stop him talking.

- To gaze upon you...
- Stop talking.

I will not, Juliet.

I will not and cannot,

lest you tell me
what I have done to displease you.

Fine. I'll tell you.

- You're a phony.
- You're a pony.

- A what?
- Phony. He's a phony.

Uh, a phony, I said.

You're a liar and a scoundrel.

Juliet,
you know I'm none of those things.

So I was the first you compared
to the moon and the stars?

Was I the first you compared
to the moon and the stars?

All right.

Well, I will be honest with you.

I... I have said those words to another.

But I never meant them until I met you.

Oh, please!

Is someone there with you?

No.

Juliet, we belong together.

You need to go, Romeo.

That truly what you want?

You need to go, Romeo.

Then I will go.

Gone for good.

You did well.

So, why do I feel so terrible?

Thank you, Cousin.

I'd be lost without you.

Wait. Wasn't there something
you wanted to tell me?

Oh. No, it's not important.

Ow! Oh!

- Why does this keep happening?
- Sorry.

- Okay. Well, you just need to...
- If I just...

- No. Just... Mmm.
- Oh!

"Romeo and… Rosaline"?

Juliet.

Don't speak.

Juliet. It... It's not what it...

I listened to you.

I trusted you,

and all you did was lie.

Juliet, I didn't lie.

I just told you most of the truth

instead of, well, you know, all of it.

I thought you were my friend.

I am your friend. I am.

All this time, turns out you just wanted
to steal my boyfriend away.

I was not trying
to steal your boyfriend away.

I was just trying to steal him back.

- Oh.
- There's a difference.

I see how it is.

Sure.

I mean, it all makes perfect sense,
actually.

I'm younger than you.

I'm… richer than you.

I'm not afraid of fish.

I don't have huge man feet.

You needed me
out of the picture.

Of course you did.

After all, what chance does someone like
you have when someone like me is around?

Well, Cousin,
it appears your little gambit has failed.

- Fine.
- Good.

Great.

Let me know next time
he shows up on your balcony.

Let me know
when your wisdom teeth come in.

- What?
- You heard me!

The point is, he's not coming.

Guess we'll see about that, won't we?

She's right. He's not coming.

- Mmm. Oh.
- What's the use? It's hopeless.

Rosaline, what is this?

You need to focus and pull it together.

Come here.

I don't have a ton of time
for your drama right now, okay?

Your father is not the only lord in town
who has a child he disapproves of.

Mm-hmm.

I'm sorry.

If only I could just get him off the scent

just for a little while.

Oh, this is cute. Mmm.

That's it! You marry her.

- Who?
- Juliet.

What? Have we met before? I'm... I'm Paris.

You need a decoy. She needs an obstacle.

I need her out of the picture.

It's perfect.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's not perfect for me.
I don't wanna marry a woman.

Yeah, I know, but that's the best part.

You won't have to marry her for another,
like, two or three years.

And by that time,
you could be far away from here.

You could be wherever you want.

Mmm.

And do you promise
to care for her and protect her?

Mm-hmm.

And do you promise to guide her morally
and keep her on a righteous path?

Oh, for sure.

And, when the time is right,

to bring a whole host of
strapping young men into your household?

Wait. What?

Sons, Paris.

Ya...

Yes, absolutely. Sons. Mm-hmm.

Then it fills me with the greatest of joy
to accept your request.

In two years' time,
when the girl is of marrying age,

we will have the most glorious celebration
to unite our families.

Two years, three years,
I mean, there's... there's really no rush.

And tonight, we'll feast.

Go. Tell all of West Verona,

and I will go tell the lucky girl
the good news.

She'll be so excited!

You can't do this to me!

Of course I can! I'm your father!

- No!
- Juliet,

every respectable family in Verona is
downstairs, celebrating your engagement,

while you're up here embarrassing me!

You know I'm not just
your daughter, right?

I have opinions, ideas,
passions of my own!

How dare you speak to us like that!

You have ruined my life!

Juliet!

I thought you'd be pleased.

Okay, he's Rosaline's friend.
Pretty big deal, he's a count.

Rosaline's friend?

Whole great life for your future. Please.

Oh!

I'm so sorry, dear.
I don't know what's gotten into her.

Oh, I know exactly what's gotten into her.

Rosaline, this is all your fault.

Whatever wild ideas you've been
filling my daughter's head with...

- Hello.
- Good to see you.

I need you to unfill it at once.

-Go up to her room,
-Mm-hmm.

- Get her down to her party, please.
- Mm-hmm.

- Please.
- Yes. Certainly, Uncle.

Go.

Paris.

The hell was he wearing?

Juliet.

Hello?

"Hie you hence to the friar's cell,

where tonight a true husband
shall make you a wife."

Shit.

Excuse me.
Excuse me. I'm in a rush.

Oh!

Please move.
I've got to stop a wedding right now.

There she is.

Look, it's Dario.

- I really don't have time for this. What?
- Rosaline, do not be rude, please.

- Mwah. Mwah.
- There we go.

Okay. Good night.

She's coming around.

Hey!

Where are you going?

What do you care?

I don't.

Then what is it that you want?

I want my knife back, please.

Worth a shot.

You aren't actually thinking
of going out there, are you?

Yeah.

Sure looks pretty dark.

I can manage.

Look, I can...
I can walk with you if you'd like.

I don't need an escort.

Will just be taking this. See? This torch.

To go in by myself.

Mm-hmm.

Christ! What was that?

Oh, it's probably nothing.

- Okay.
- Yeah, or a bear.

Hmm.

Okay, well, maybe just to
the, uh, bridge after the forest.

What?
I'm sorry. What was that?

Could you please
escort me through the forest?

I would love to.

Right.

Just great.

I'm sorry.
I can't tell you where we're going.

Oh, you're fine.

What I can say is it's urgent.

Extremely urgent.

Okay.

You're not even a little curious?

I don't get involved.

It's this way.

Well, if you must know,
I'm going to stop a wedding.

My boyfriend is about to make
the biggest mistake of his life.

Uh, hang on a second. Wait.

It's your boyfriend's wedding?

Yeah.

Ouch.

Yeah. They just met.
They barely know each other.

They have literally nothing in common.
He can't possibly love her.

How do you know that?

Were you listening just now?

They just met.
They barely know each other.

- So what?
- No, like...

That's not how love works.
It isn't rational.

I knew you wouldn't understand.

So what's your plan when we get there?

We have to have a conversation.

He needs to know how I feel.

Well, his wedding day seems
like the perfect time for that.

We haven't had the chance
to talk about any of this,

and I wanna show him
what life was like before he...

Cheated on you.

He did not cheat on me.

Didn't he?

I'm done talking to you now.

So is this a back way in or?

Well, I'm not exactly
welcome in these parts.

Oh. 'Cause you're the ex?

No, 'cause I'm a Capulet.

Wait. This is Montague land?

- Yep.
- You never told me your ex was a Montague.

Did I never mention that?

- No.
- Hmm.

If they find us, Rosaline,
they will kill us.

- Well, you can go at any time.
- Look, this is no joke. It isn't safe.

Relax. Romeo once told me that the guards
are off duty at this time of night.

- The coast should be totally...
- Halt!

Who goes there?

Halt!

Stop! Stop!

They're over here!

Halt! Stop!

Run!

Hurry up! Halt!

Which way did we come in?

- Uh, that way, I think!
- Stop!

- You think?
- I wasn't in the military!

Halt!

- Hey! They went this way! Come on!
- Spread out!

Come on!

Come on!

Do you have a match?

Are you sure this is safe?

Trust me.

You were saying?

What was that?

- What? What?
- Wake up!

- Take my knife.
- I already have it.

Ho!

Dario, look out!

Lucky throw.

Lucky knife.

Let's go. Go. Go. Go.

Come on! Hurry up!

Through here.

You take the north barracks,
we'll cover the south!

I see them right there!
Right down that way!

Move, move, move!

This way!

- Go, go, go, go!
- Hey!

Hey, let me ask you something.

What is it you like about this Montague?

Uh, lots of stuff.

In particular.

Well, we're in love.

Then what do you love about him?

It's just...

It's not something
that you can put into words, so…

Love is patient.

Love is kind.

Love is an open door.

Love is all you need.

I mean, love is like knowing how to fly
or how to breathe.

When you're apart from her,
you can feel it in your stomach.

You can taste it.

And when you're together, it's like…

It's impossible to believe
for one single minute

that anyone anywhere
has ever had so much fun

in the whole entire world.

That's what love is like,

put into words.

It's not that hard.

I'm…

I'm sorry I got you into all this mess.

Wasn't all bad.

And…

I'm sorry that I might have…

Maybe misjudged you a little.

Your hand.

Oh. It's fine.
It's just a little, um...

No.

I could probably get that later.

Is that okay?

Yeah.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I should go.

Yeah, same.

No, uh, supposed to rejoin the fleet today

and I haven't even started to pack.

You're really going back?

Yeah.

Why?

I guess I didn't find
a good enough reason to stay.

Good luck, Rosaline.

It was interesting getting to know you.

You too, Dario.

Late night?

Oh! Oh, my God.

You scared me.

Good, that makes two of us.

What on earth have you been
doing until six in the morning?

It's complicated.

Nurse, can I ask you something?

Have you ever been in love?

I was, once.

And what did it feel like?

It's a bit like having vertigo.

Quite a lot like being drunk.

But when it's real, you won't question it.

Yeah, what up, man?

Uh, special delivery.

Thanks, Chief.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, also, um,
I got an envelope.

A miss H-H-Huliet. J... Hu... Juliet.

- Ju...
- I'll see that she gets it.

All right, man. All right, right on.

Oh.

Steve, I just saw you.

You back already?

Uh, yes, Miss Rosaline.

I was just, uh, you know.

Did she seem pleased?

Yeah. Pleased?

Mmm.

Juliet!

- Oh, oh.
- When you gave her the letter.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Um, I-I gave it to the big dude instead.

Big dude?

W-W-What dude? W-Which dude?

Uh, Master Tybalt.

Shit.

Ros, Ros!

What?

Oh, hey.

It's Romeo and Tybalt.

Oh.

You cream-faced loon!

What have you to say for yourself?

- Thou art as fat as butter.
- Venomous toad!

Mercutio.

- How dare you speak like that!
- I'll speak any way I wish!

Father, please!

Miscreants!
Look what you've done.

Tybalt is dead.
I should kill all of you!

I'd like to see you try.

- Stop this!
- You great rooting hog!

Your son is a murderer.

It was self-defense.
Fire-eyed fury be my conduct now.

You liar!

He's not lying.

He's honest and kind, and a good person.

His heart knows no hate or anger.

If he says that he was challenged,

then I promise you
that he's telling the truth.

I'm sorry. How do you know him?

He's my husband.

- Oh, my God.
- We're in love.

I can't even watch them.

- Ah.
- Oh, boy.

You will never see him again.

And you will be banished.
Never to set foot in Verona again.

No!

You will have this farce annulled
and marry Count Paris in the morrow.

Father, no!

- Uh, I'm sorry, what?
- You can't do this!

Y-Yeah. Tomorrow doesn't
really work for me either. So…

Guards!

- No!
- Detain him!

He's getting away!

Run, my heart!

I won't let them keep us apart, my love!

You know what this means, Lord Montague?

Yes, I do, Lord Capulet.

It means war!

You bald-headed peasant!

I'll see you soon, calf guts!

- Give...
- Will you?

Stop.

Summon my army for battle!

Juliet, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'll fix this. I'll find a way.

Haven't you done enough already?

Oh, thank God you're still here.

Uh, okay.

I don't know if you heard about
the whole Romeo and Juliet thing?

- But things got a little out of hand.
- Yeah.

I heard.

But not to worry. I've come up
with a plan to fix everything.

It's just gonna take you and I to...

Oh, I'm sorry. Wait.
You want my help with this?

I told you. I don't get involved.

Fine, except...

Besides, the last time I helped you,
we were almost killed.

Okay, but that's...

There is no "but," Rosaline.

Okay. Could you just at least
put on a shirt or something?

Why?

Because I'm trying to have
a conversation here, and it's...

It's distracting.

So I've made some mistakes.

Okay, a lot of mistakes.

I was wrong about Romeo.
I was wrong about Juliet.

I-I was even wrong about me
in a lot of ways.

But I know that
I'm not wrong about this, Dario.

We need to make this right.

There's that "we" again.

Yes, we.

'Cause another thing
I was wrong about, is you.

You're completely full of shit.

Oh, yeah?

The whole, "Oh, mmm, I don't care
about other people. I just...

I don't wanna get involved" nonsense.

It's a big load of crap, Dario.

You care about people.

You're a good person.

This is 'cause I have a boat, isn't it?

No, that's...

They're in trouble.

They're in trouble, and I'm responsible.

I need to fix this.

Will you please help me?

First sign of danger and I'm out of there.

- Fine.
- Seriously.

I'm not getting killed over this.

Yeah, I-I-I just said fine.

Okay.

Let's go save true love.

Great. Um…

Is it cool if we borrow the boat?

Shh. Now be quiet.

Ow.

Rosaline!

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I have come to help you.

I don't want your help, Rosaline.

I know that.

And again,
I'm really, really, really sorry.

But we've got a boat.

Well, actually... actually, Dario...
Dario has a boat.

Hello.

We'll get Romeo,
smuggle you both to the docks,

and then, under the cover of darkness,

you'll sail to safety before anyone
realizes that you're gone.

That's, um, very kind of you, Cousin.

But I already have a plan.

You do?

Okay, that's... that's great.

Uh, w-what is it?

I'm going to fake my own death.

Sorry, what?

It's simple.

There's this potion that causes
total body paralysis for hours at a time.

I'll drink it, they'll find me,
it'll look like I'm dead,

then they'll prepare me for burial.

Then, once they leave, I'll wake up.

Romeo will then come out of hiding.

He's at the Montague chapel
with Benvolio right now.

Then he'll find me in the church,
carry me off into the sunset,

and we'll live happily ever after.

It's foolproof.

Mmm, okay. Juliet,

that is quite possibly the dumbest fucking
thing I've ever heard in my life.

Are you kidding me?

There's, like, 50 different ways that
that could go wrong.

I mean,
what if the potion has side effects?

What if they actually bury you?
Have you thought of that?

What if Romeo thinks you're really dead?

I've... I've sent Steve the Courier
to tell him.

Steve the Courier is an idiot!

You've gotta trust me.

My plan is better. Let's go.

Juliet?

What did... What...

Did you drink it already?

Okay. All right.

When you wake up, you'll be right
next to Romeo, okay? I promise.

Everything's gonna be just fine.

Okay, wow.

Dario, you ready?

Yeah, I am.

You sure?

Yes, just toss her to me.

Okay. On three.

One…

Nope. Oh...

One.

Juliet?

Shit.

Juliet!

Wake up, Juliet!

Dario, save yourself.

Open this door at once!

That sneaky son of a bitch!

Juliet!

Okay, it's not what it looks like.

If you just...

If you just let me explain.

I think we could really just have
a nice talk and talk about it.

And I can explain everything. Please.

Okay.

Oh, thank God.

Okay, you have got to help me, Father.

They found Juliet in your arms.

Yeah, I know.

And I... I can explain that,

but right now, I just need you
to help me get out of here.

Rosaline, your cousin is dead.

- Who knows she's dead?
- The whole town.

Okay, look.

Things seem really bad right now.
I get it.

But you know me, and you know
I would never ever hurt Juliet.

Look, I know I'm not exactly
the daughter you wish I was

but, just this once,
I need you to trust me, please.

I honestly don't know what to think.

But you will always be
the daughter I wish you were.

Guards! A Montague. Over there!

Go! Go!

Halt. Don't let him get away!

My lord.

Juliet Capulet is dead.

Suicide, apparently.

They're burying her body in the church.

Where Juliet lies,
Romeo shan't be far away.

We must get to him
before the Capulets. Come!

Okay.

Uh…

It's okay. It's okay. You got this.

Just pretend they're something else.
You know, leaves with gaping mouths.

Okay, just get in.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm in. I'm in.

Okay. Yes.

Oh, my God. What was that? What was that?

What was that?

Okay. It's just a leaf.
It was just a leaf.

Mmm, just a leaf.

I made it. I made it.

This is not gonna work.

My lady, your clothes.

Where's... Where's Romeo?

Um. I, uh...

Focus. Did he get the message?

- What message?
- From Juliet.

Oh, my God.

Okay. Okay.

- Can, uh...
- Mmm. Mm-hmm.

Oh, dear God.

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, my God.

- Uh, Rosaline, no. You...
- You! You get out of my way!

Oh. Oh, my God.

No, no, it's not real.

Juliet's alive. She's al...

Get a grip, Rosaline.

I was trying to tell you.

But you... you ran away.

As fast as I could.

Oh, you ran to him.

Someone had to.

I mean, the kid was gonna off himself
when he heard the news.

Uh, what now?

He said you would know what to do
because you're a… genius?

Hmm.

Okay, lay down as you were.

Close your eyes. Quickly.

Now you're both dead.

Star-crossed lovers
that couldn't live apart.

That's pretty good.

Uh, you think that's gonna work?

I mean, it might if she doesn't wake up.

Oh!

Heaven forsake me!

Oh, no! Why?

What is she doing here?

- Rosaline?
- What are all of you doing here?

Where is my boy? Where is he?

Lord Montague.

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you're too late.

No.

Dear, foolish boy.

There were so many things
I never got to tell you.

Come back to me!

- Oh. All right, well...
- Foolish boy!

Come back to me!

Uh, shaking him won't bring him back. So…

Sorry, wrong pipe.

Capulet, your daughter
is responsible for the death of my son!

You are such a liar!

Truth be told, Montague,
you are the one to blame.

I should kill you now.

For the love of God!

Will you stop fighting?

This is all your faults.

- You.
- What?

And you.

Every single one of you people.

They'd still be alive if not for

your baseless judgments and blind hatred
and petty squabbling.

Adrian, control your daughter.

Shut it, Mario. Let her speak.

He was a Montague.

She was a Capulet.

So what?

That didn't stop them from
seeing the beauty in each other.

That didn't stop them
from falling in love.

You know what did stop them?

You did.

This... This stupid war.

This... This... This selfishness.

Shame on you!

And... And... And shame on your houses!

A little unfair.

Mmm, she's right, you know?

- Well, it is our fault.
- Mmm?

- Theirs mostly.
- Ah, that's what I meant.

The two of you
with your heads stuck right up your asses.

Oh, no.

Mmm.

Perhaps enough blood has been shed.

Let's end this war, Capulet.

If their deaths be the last,
they shall not have died in vain.

So, let our families be close.

United by the loss we share today.

May peace reign here a while, hmm?

And let their spirits rest in Heaven.

May angels sing their
praises in their resting place.

Let their names be inscribed in marble
across the land.

Good marble.

Expensive marble.
Rich Corinthian marble. Porphyry.

Porphyry's good.

- And even wood.
- What?

Wood?

Wooden doors,
no, church doors. Fountains.

- Mmm. Good call.
- Oh, w-what? Oh, she's alive!

My daughter?

Romeo, Romeo!

I will kiss thy lips. Haply some poison
yet doth remain on them.

- Juliet, no!
- No! Uh...

Thy lips are warm.

Ju...

Okay, what the hell was that?

Is there a doctor in the house?

Yeah, yeah,
we'd like to have some confirmation.

Step aside. Step aside.

Thank you. Thank you.
Professional coming through.

Yes.

They are definitely dead.

- Oh!
- How can you be sure?

How can I be sure?

For the love of God,
I am a registered bloody nurse!

I thought that was just your name.

No, my name's Janet.

Well, Montagues, Capulets, anon.

Capulets, anon.

Capulets, anon.

Mmm, they couldn't...

They couldn't live in peace.

At least let them rest in it.

Let us take our leave
of this dreary scene.

I know a very fine spot.

Okay, they're gone. You can wake up now.

I love you so much.

- I love you so much more.
- I love you so much more.

Tell me the truth.

You could be halfway to Venice by now.

What made you come back?

I don't know.

There's just something about you
that makes me do stupid things.

Well, I'll never forget you, Rosaline.

Back at you, Romeo.

It's been real.

Get in here. Ah.

Okay.

So, you should plan to land
at Paphos Harbor.

But if the wind picks up
and you end up at the Meleti Forest,

that's also supposed to be really great.

Thank you, Rosaline, for everything.

What are cousins for?

Whilst the Heavens and Earth
circle vermilion stars, so are...

Romeo, just get in the boat.

Yes, milady.

- Okay, buddy.
- And you...

Thank you.

Okay.

I'm really gonna miss that boat.

I know.

Have you ever been to Cyprus?

No. Have you?

No.

It's an island.

Yeah.

Mmm.

Let me ask you something.

Yeah?

Would you, uh, ever...

You know, if I got another boat.
Maybe wanna...

I'll think about it.

You know, centuries from now,
when everyone's telling this story,

you think you and I
will even be mentioned?

Honestly… I couldn't care less.

Me neither.

Do you like sports?

Um, not really.

Okay.

Food?

What?

Do you like food?

Do I like food?

Like, what's your favorite food?
What would your favorite food be?

I like... I like pizza.

- Oh.
- Uh, probably pizza.

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

You don't like pizza?

I am lactose intolerant.

I like veal.

Baby cow?

Is it?

Oh.

Just seven more hours to go.

Then… the rest of our lives.

Right.

Yes.