Ron's Gone Wrong (2021) - full transcript

Back in five,

we are streaming live
from Bubble HQ.

It's launch day
at Bubble.

What incredible tech
are they about to unveil?

We're going in.

Have you ever felt
completely alone?

Standing on the edge
of things, so awkward,

not daring to approach anyone?

What if you could have
one perfect friend

who thinks you're awesome,
who can help you find friends

and make it all easy?



All staff
to the launchitorium.

Marc, they're ready.

Marc?

So, this is it.

This is finally it!

The day that we at Bubble

give the whole world
a new best friend!

Marc! Marc! Marc!

Aw!
We did this together, guys!

This is what
it's all been for.

Right back to the time
in the garage

where Bubble started.

My garage, folks. My garage.

Of course, yes, Andrew.



Thanks. Uh...

But today,

we take a huge leap

from Bubble's phones
and tablets and watches

to a whole new world
of connection.

And at its heart, my code.

My algorithm for friendship.

The code that drives
your new best friend,

the Bubble Bot.

Welcome
to the future of friendship.

You wanna meet it? Okay!

Me! Me!
Me, me! Over here!

Pick me! Please!

Do we have an "EllieB9"?

Oh, my gosh!
That's me, that's me!

Hi.

Hi. So, that's your posts,
and friends,

and photos, right?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Ellie, this is for you.

The world's
very first Bubble Bot.

Wow.

Go ahead.

What's happening?

It's getting to know you!

Everything about you.

Hi, Ellie.

Danger-Bunny!
That's my favorite show!

Mine, too!

Awesome!

Infinite
downloadable skins!

I love monkeys!

Apps, contacts, photos, chat.

Ooh, look at this!

Whoa.

Music. Of course.

Jump on!

- Whoa!
- Incredible safety settings

to keep your parents happy.

You can be anything
in the world?

In the universe! Hold on.

- Oh, I love space.
- Me too!

Three-sixty degree
immersive projection.

First selfie
from the red planet?

Okay.

Sharing.

Constant connection
to the Bubble network.

Oh, my gosh! Like it!

What's she doing now?

This is why we're here, Ellie.
To find you some new friends.

Oh, really?

GraceMay11 wants to be
an astronaut, too.

- You wanna friend Ellie?
- Yeah, sure.

Hey, Pete66.

Yes!

Pete's a fan
of Danger-Bunny!

- Hi, Ellie. This is so cool!
- Hi!

Yeah, I went
to Space Camp last year!

- Your best friend...
- Awesome!

...out of the box!

Let's do this!

Let's make friends!

Barney?

- Yep?
- You have safety vest?

- Uh-huh.
- And snack?

Yeah, Gran.

I'll see you later.

Troll! Two o'clock!

Omina mitotae!

- I got you.
- Do you wanna trade spells?

Whoa!

Selfie!

Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

Safe to walk.

Wow!

You got eyes, kid?

Sorry. I'm so sorry.

Ah, seriously?

Ninja blast!

Hey, you're a fan, too?

Of course.

- Hey!
- Hey!

Look left, Ethan.
Right. Now let us cross.

To the dark side!

You have
nine new messages.

You have ten likes.

Message Abby,
I'll be there in five.

Jack wants
to friend you.

By Odin's beard,
you have six messages.

- Did you see Ruby's post?
- Sharing.

Hey, Savannah
just followed me.

Isaac accepts
your friendship.

So, you see how the magma
from the upper mantle

pushes up into the chamber.

- That's cool!
- Label chamber.

Guys, guys,
is she coming yet?

- This is going to be crazy.
- She's coming.

- Hey, Savannah!
- Hey, Sav. Cute kicks!

Thank you.
Hey, guys. Savannah here.

So, later I wanna
talk to you guys

about plastics in the ocean,

and this new great blowout.

Ooh.

- Lame, Rich.
- Top quality footage.

Like and subscribe...

Posting to your channel.

Weep, trollboy, I am fire!

Nothing to see here.

Wow, Barney.
It's your birthday.

And you still
didn't get a B-Bot?

Thanks
for breaking that down.

Barney is having a party.

- Really?
- Uh, no, no, no.

Fly free, little one. Phoosh!

You okay, Barney?

Yeah. Oh, sorry.
I'm in your shot.

That's so sweet.
But I have a filter for that.

Ciao.

This is your girl,
signing off.

Love you, guys.

- Create Sav's group chat.
- Check for Science Squad.

Okay.

Okay.
18 minutes of recess hell.

You have got this!

Maybe not.

- Barney!
- Oh, no.

All alone again?

No, I'm good. I just...

- On your birthday?
- No, no, no...

You have to be kidding me.
Who told her?

Your grandma called
the school.

I just need to go...

I forgot my, uh, inhaler.

The other one.

- Got it. You need to sit down.
- Huh?

This is gonna work, Barney.
You'll see.

- It really won't.
- Yes, it will.

It kind of makes things
a lot worse.

- Wow.
- Brutal, man.

Come on.
Bring it in, brave soldier.

Whoa... What?

- Oh, ho ho!
- Bring it in, Barney.

Come on, Barney boy.

Bring it in.

Wow.
How low can a kid go?

Now, when someone comes along,
talk to them about a hobby.

Didn't you write me an essay
on rock collecting?

Yeah. No.

Will you go talk to Barney?
He loves rocks.

He needs friends.
It's his birthday.

Kill me now.

Happy birthday!

Ha-ha. Miss Thomas said
you wanna talk about rocks?

Who likes rocks?

So, you're into rocks?
That's nice.

Uh...

Seriously?
Dude, it's your birthday

and you still didn't get
a B-Bot?

Maybe he doesn't want a B-Bot.

Maybe he prefers rocks.

Hey. You're a rock star,
Barney.

- Oh, snap.
- Ha-ha! You get it?

Who's your favorite
movie star? The Rock?

- Killer, Rich.
- Ha-ha-ha!

You rock, man!

Just gets funnier
and funnier.

- Oh, hey, Barney.
- Can we rock up at your house?

That's funny, Rich.

Check out your awesome
rock collection?

No, Rich.

I'm afraid you can't come
to my house.

For some reason.

Come on! Get off! Hey!

It's my birthday,
you dumb goat.

Sorry, are we
on the line? Is that...

Yes, hello!

So, today, Mr. Takahashi,

Pudowski Novelty
Exports International

are very excited to offer you
this highly amusing novelty,

the Brother Bouncy car monk.

He wiggles, he bounces,

- he's got...
- Uh... No.

- He'll hold your phone.
- Uh...

Oh, hi, Barney. Good day?

Uh...

Mr. Takahashi?
Are you there? Hello?

Mom, did you unplug
my router again? I had Tokyo!

I need this contract.

Sure. It was fine.

Barney!

Mr. Takahashi? Hello?

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Come. Eyes shut. That's it.

- Graham.
- Yep, yep.

- ♪ Happy birthday, dear Barney ♪
- ♪ Dear Barney ♪

- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

- Ta-da! Oh, for...
- Yeah!

For my lovely boy.

Thanks, Gran! Ow!

Oops!

Made with love.
And our own goat wool.

And from me...

- Could it be?
- Wait for it.

Is there
any possible way?

Wow. Rock hammers.

You always
did love your rocks.

Yeah, I did. Always. Used to.

- Thanks, Dad.
- And Gran.

I just... The goats' wool
and my allergies.

Oh, no, no, no.

No one in Pudowski family
have allergy.

What about Uncle Boris?

He was possessed.
By a demon in a cashew.

I don't know, Mom.

What time your friends come,
Barney?

- I cook all day.
- Wow!

This real food.

Yum! Schkembe!

Bet your friends
never had tripe soup before.

Ooh! I put on Zany Bogomil!

Like last time we had party,
remember?

When you were six.

All right.

Um, actually, the thing is...

No one's coming to the party.

No one?

Huh?

You ask and all say no?

Son, we're
a little worried about you.

You... You never go out with
anyone or have friends over.

You know,
that's why we thought

invite the whole class!

Get the whole gang
over here, right?

You know. Get you in the swing
of things with everybody.

I make food
for all your buddies.

I don't really have...

You know, they probably
just didn't read the invites.

No one does paper these days.
They send messages

with their B-Bots.

Really? You need a B-Bot

to have a social life
these days?

- Eh, pfft!
- Yeah, Dad, kind of.

No. I don't want you addicted
to some device.

You should be out there
in the woods.

Kicking around with a buddy.

Get out there, Barn. Interact.

You don't wanna spend
your whole life

glued to a...

- B-Bots.
- What?

It just a craze

- and they cost a fortune.
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
It's... it's a waste of money.

No big deal.

Bubble delivery.

What? It can't be!

Dad, you were kidding me!

I knew you wouldn't just give
me rock hammers. I knew it!

Oh. A rock.

♪ We will, we will rock you ♪

Yo, I got
the whole thing, bro.

It was hilarious, Barn.
You thought it was a B-Bot.

A B-Bot?

Let it go, Rich.

You get out of here.

You want I pour hot chicken
fat down your pants!

Barney, what's going on?

It's okay, Dad. Really.

These are great.

I hope they're not closed.

B-Bot, B-Bot.

Get him something useful
like a snow shovel.

Or a cordless drill.

It's what he really wanted.

If his mom were alive,
she'd have known that.

- Mom, people!
- Ooh!

- People!
- Crazy lady!

Whoa!

Whoo!

It's okay. It's fine.

Whoa, whoa!

Perfect!

Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

- Argh! No, no, no.
- No! No, wait.

- Hi! Please...
- Lady!

...hold on just a second.
Uh, it's my son's birthday.

I need a B-Bot.

Maybe just the basic model?

No, no, no.

Hang on, please.
Please, please.

I throw in goat.
Goat for a B-Bot.

She real friend.

And when you get bored
of this one,

krrr, you can eat her!

- Less waste, good for planet.
- Yeah.

What?

No. No, no, no. Come on.

Three month wait?

What is this?
Stalinist Russia?

I am not afraid of you,
Bubble booble!

What do you got
for me, pal?

We got five pads
and some phones.

Yeah?
What about that one?

Uh, that one fell out
of my van earlier.

Happy late birthday,
Barney.

Wha... Dad! Oh, Dad!

You got me one!

- A real one this time!
- Yeah, I can see!

Thank you, thank you,
thank you so much! And Gran.

- Mwah, mwah.
- Oh, you good boy!

Hey, if you hurry,
you can take it to school.

Here we go.

Huh?

Uh...

Huh?

What?

Seriously?

Come on, come on!

No. What? Why?

Barney, school time!

Hi. Insert registered name,

I am your...
your... your... your...

I am...

My B-Bot.

B-Bot.

Look! My best friend
out of the box?

I am, insert registered name's
best friend out of my box.

Insert registered name
is my best friend.

Please connect me
to the Bubble network.

Uh, how? You're not online?

How am I supposed to fix that?

No problem.

I'll scan my database
to find out how to do it.

Oh, great. Cool!

The answer to your question

is on the Bubble network.

Barney!

Please connect me
to the Bubble network,

insert registered name.

Stop! Stop saying that!
It's not my name.

No problem!

Please select a name
from my internal database.

Aadash, Aaron,
Abraham, Absalom...

- Absalom?
- Hi! Absalom?

I am Absalom's B-Bot.

No, no, no. My name is Barney.

What is a Barney?

I have only entries
for the letter A.

Shall I complete my download?

Yes. Yes! Do that!

No problem!

Please connect me
to the Bubble network.

Okay, come on.

You don't need the sticker.
Just come!

Please connec... Connec...

Please connec... Connec...
Connec... Connec...

Network.

No problem.

Wait!
Where are you going?

Abu Dhabi,

- Addis Ababa, Amsterdam...
- You're supposed to stay

- within six feet of me.
- Arizona.

Six...

I'm so sorry.

- Hey, what the heck, kid?
- What are you doing?

- What am I doing?
- You walked under a truck!

Hi. Absalom?

What about
your traffic sensors?

What is a truck?
Is it an airplane,

an ambulance, an alligator,

- an aardvark?
- Come on!

We gotta get to school!

What is school?

You don't know
what school is?

My solar battery function
has not been uploaded.

Hi. Absalom?

I'm Barney!
How come you don't know that?

You're supposed to know
everything about me!

I'm supposed to know
everything about you.

You never
even said happy birthday.

Whoa, whoa!

Hey, no, no, no. I'll take you
to school tomorrow. Okay?

Stay here and learn stuff.

Just stay.

Stay.

Stay.

I'm supposed to know
everything about you.

Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
Top of the leaderboard!

Whoo! Wanna follow me, Sav?

- Uh...
- Fire unleash.

Hey! What?

It's a level 50
Easter egg, man.

You're mine for an hour.

- What?
- Loser! Loser!

- Give it back!
- Ooh!

Oh, come on! Really, guys?

Not on top now, Noah.

Don't focus on the negative.
It's very aging.

A hundred
and thirty-eight friends

are laughing. Meow.

Three people
are following Science Squad.

Three people actually
like science? Wow.

Two people
are following Science Squad.

Um...

I could follow you, Ava.

I... I got a B-Bot.
It's just...

It's at home, um, downloading
my profile.

Okay.

Pudowski.

Yeah, we...
we chatted earlier.

So, here we go... Ta-da!

Wait for it.

- Hey, come on! No?
- No.

I got a huge warehouse
full of these things.

I can give you
an unbelievable deal.

Hey, buddy. How's the B-Bot?

The kids love 'em.

Hey, I'm back.

What?

Opa!
Opa! Opa!

Huh?

♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪

♪ Happy, happy, happy ♪

♪ Dikky, dikky, dakka
Dikky, dikky, dikky, dakka ♪

Oh! Oh, and knees up,
knees up.

- Oh, no. You don't have knees.
- ♪ Dikky, dikky, dakka ♪

♪ Dikky, dikky, dikky, dakka ♪

Oh, Barney.
I love new friend B-Bot.

He's very funny.

♪ Dikky, dikky, dakka ♪

- ♪ Dikky, dikky, dikky, dakka ♪
- Hey!

What have you done
to my room?

I have stayed here
and learnt stuff.

What?

I now know
everything about you.

I know your underpants combust

at a temperature
of 232 degrees Fahrenheit.

Seventeen degrees
below the melting point

of your inhalers.

- Wha...
- I know you have 11 socks

and four books detailing
the life of Bill the Bus.

Now, I'm your best friend
out of the box, Absalom!

No! A friend does not
go through your stuff

or burn it or melt it
or dismember Mr. Bunky.

Removing Mr. Bunky's head

required a breaking point
of 7.6 newton.

Stop! What is wrong with you?
Gran!

Gran is 78.

A former anti-communist

with an approximate
weight mass of 360...

Whoa-ho-ho! No, no. Cheeky.

The B-Bot.

There's something wrong
with it, Gran.

It look all right
to me.

It's not meant
to do that.

I'm not meant to do that.

Just like
all the others.

Maybe turn it off
and on again?

No! It just...
It doesn't work properly.

44, 45, 40...

I fix it! Pudowskis make do
and mend.

Oh, if I just ram this
up power outlet...

No!

You'll make it worse!

Oh, Barney.

Once, I mend my own hernia
with bread knife and vodka.

People don't mend stuff
anymore, Gran.

They just take it back and...

Take it back?

You want I tell your father
it not good enough?

No!

That... No. But...

...what am I gonna do?

Ah. Take it outside.
Have fun with him.

Uh...

You remember
what Uncle Boris used to say?

"The smart man can pickle
anything, even a glove."

The point being?

At least you're not
Uncle Boris.

He crazy. Never the same
after that cashew.

Argh!

Right. Fine.

You, come with me.

♪ Dikky, dikky, dakka ♪

♪ Dikky, dikky, dikky, dakka ♪

♪ Dikky, dikky, dakka
Dikky, dikky, dikky, dakka ♪

- Argh.
- Hi, Absalom.

Just follow me.

Where are we going?

Uh, nowhere.

♪ Dikky, dikky, dakka
Dikky, dikky, dikky... ♪

Hi, General Waste,

we're going to, uh, "Nowhere"
to have fun with me.

This is not fun, okay?

Not fun. Okay.

Look, I'm taking you back
to the Bubble store.

I have to swap you for
a good one. No offense.

But according to the sticker,

I am your best friend
out of my box.

Listen! Friendship
is a two-way street, okay?

I get to choose my friends,
and I don't choose you.

♪ Dikky, dikky, dakka ♪

♪ Dikky, dikky, dikky dakka ♪

Seriously?

Oh, no!

Where are you going?

- Come back!
- Okay, guys, ready?

- Three, two...
- Two!

Zero views.

♪ Dikky, dikky, dakka ♪

♪ Dikky, dikky, dikky dakka ♪

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What is this?

I am Absalom's B-Bot.

Look! It's naked.

Yo, I can see its ro-butt.

- Ro-butt.
- Get it?

'Cause it's a robot. It's...

Um, Rich...

Would you give it back,
please?

Barney?

Barnacle.

I'm taking it back
to the store.

Just please give it back.

Yeah, sure, Barn. Take it.

But first you gotta do
something for me.

- Uh, sorry?
- Yeah.

Your gran rang the school.

You got me in trouble.
That's your fault, man.

Your fault, dude.

- What?
- So, come on. Cheer us up.

- Cheer us up.
- Do something funny.

I need some fresh content
for my channel.

- Yeah, content.
- Something.

- Rich, come on.
- Ooh!

Why don't you sing
that song with Freak-bot?

- Rich.
- Yeah!

- Come on, Barney. Do it.
- Rich, no.

- Do it, do it!
- There isn't a song.

- Incorrect.
- No. Shut up.

It is by Zany Bogomil.

- Your grandmother's favorite.
- Stop!

♪ Dikky, dikky,
dakka Dikky, dikky, dikky dakka ♪

♪ Dikky, dikky, dakka ♪

- ♪ Dikky, dikky, dikky dakka ♪
- Dude, come on, Barney.

- You have to do it!
- Go on, man!

Can you guys
leave me alone, please?

Yo, yo, yo, make him dance.

No Miss Thomas here,
right, boys?

I'm not...
No. I'm not gonna dance.

♪ Dikky, dikky, dakka ♪

- ♪ Dikky, dikky, dikky dakka ♪
- Okay, I got it. Shut up.

Shut it now.

I said shut it!

Shut up!

Why did you hit me?

'Cause I don't like you,
derp-droid!

I don't like you, derp-droid!

- Ow!
- Whoa.

What? Dumb bot.

- Yeah.
- Yes!

Okay, come on.
Let's...

B-Bots can't shove!

That's how you do...

Incorrect. I can shove with
a compressive force capacity

of 29 pounds per square inch.

Ooh.

My resin skin tenses on impact
to protect my CPU. Does yours?

All right, that's it!
I'm gonna destroy you!

Oh, no.

Huh?

Yo. Why does it look
like that?

I'm gonna destroy you.

- What's happening?
- I'm gonna destroy you.

Dude, seriously. Back off.

I'm gonna destroy you.

Hey, no! Stop!

Run!

I'm gonna destroy you.

I'm gonna destroy you.
I'm gonna destroy you.

Is this fun, Absalom?

- Yes! No.
- Help!

- Oh, no.
- Yes!

I'm gonna destroy you.

Someone call the police!

Contacting
local law enforcement.

- I am sorry, bro. Seriously!
- I'm gonna destroy you.

I'm gonna destroy you.

Cut the live stream!

Bros, it's pulling
my head off!

41 newtons.

- Bros!
- 42 newtons.

Hey, no, no, no!
You can't pull his head off.

We'll get in trouble!

- Help!
- Okay, Absalom.

I cannot pull his head off.

That's it. You are dead meat,
Pudowski!

Dude, you are finished!

- Oh, yeah. We gotta run.
- We're coming for you!

We gotta run right now!

Whoa!

What?

Floor it!

- Whoo-hoo!
- Whoo-hoo!

That was awesome, okay.

But terrible, but awesome!

I mean, you can't hit people.
Especially Rich Belcher.

But, oh, man!
You hit Rich Belcher!

I don't get it.
B-Bots can't hurt people.

They have mega safety controls
and stuff.

Incorrect. I have no mega
safety controls and stuff.

The settings
have not been uploaded.

What? Really?
You're insane!

Where are you going?

To swap me
for a good one.

No, no, no.
Hey, look. I've been thinking,

and maybe I...

Freeze! I think it's him.

You gotta give me
a description, color.

Yeah, uh-huh. White.

- Height?
- Two foot tall.

- Build?
- Yeah. Plastic.

- Excuse me, sir?
- Whoa!

Easy.

Okay. Both of you,
hands where I can see 'em.

Oh...

♪ Dikky, dikky, dakka
Dikky, dikky, dikky dakka ♪

Give it here!

That B-Bot is ours!

- It's a lunatic!
- It's just dancing.

- I taught it.
- I paid for that.

It was just doing what I said.

Take it away! It's crazy!

At least
I'm not Uncle Boris.

I'm... I'm sure
it's just a minor issue.

It's violent, uncontrollable,
and highly dangerous.

Okay, great.
Let me look into that.

No. There's nothing wrong
with him.

It assaulted a child!

It didn't assault him.

I hit Rich Belcher.
It was awesome, but terrible,

- but awesome.
- See?

- Barney... You were fighting?
- No!

B-Bots
are incapable of violence.

- Boink!
- Officer down!

Bah, he had it coming.

You can't just take it.
It's mine!

I don't even know his name.

Yes, you do! It's Absalom.

- Hi, Absalom.
- What?

According to our records,
it has no registered owner.

- But I give all my funeral money...
- Mom...

- ...to that man in the alley.
- ...please.

You got it
from a man in an alley?

Did you obtain
this bot illegally?

What?

This took a turn,
and we gotta get out of here.

Send it to the crusher!

- What?
- For all we know,

it could kill someone.

No. It's mine.
It was my birthday present.

We'll return it to the
facility, run some tests.

Do you want me to close
the whole store?

No, no, no.
Uh, one crushing coming up!

Use the recycler.

Adios, Absalom.

Arrivederci. Auf Wiedersehen.

No, you can't do that.

Dad, please.
It was sticking up for me.

Barney, we gotta let it go.

Let's take some details.

- What was your name, sir?
- Uh...

Absalom, will crushing be fun?

Phew.

- Hi, Absalom.
- Shh.

- Happy birthday!
- What are you doing?

A friend must stay
within six feet.

We'll go
to the crusher together.

No! Crushing is not fun!
It means smushed, flattened...

Uh... Uh...

A... A... A...

Think, think, think.

Annihilated.

- Annihilated. Not fun!
- Shh.

We gotta get out of here.

Where are you...? Ow.

Hey, stop! Hey!

We gotta get out of here.

No. Come back.

- Whoa.
- Sorry.

- Where are you going?
- You said, "Come back."

Sorry, again.

Bree, it got out!

Sorry!

- Where is it?
- Ay!

Lucha libre, third floor.

- Stop!
- Oh, no.

Space! Final frontier!

Whew!

Uh-oh.

Follow me!

Sorry, he's with me.

He is unaffected!

Invincible one.

Space Lord.

Hi, I am insane.

Follow me.

Are we having fun with me?

You bet!

You have to find it.

It's gotta be here somewhere.
Keep looking.

Huh?

Where is he?

Where did they go?

Hi, I'm Sally Squirrel.

- Potty time! Sing with me!
- No! Shush!

You are dead meat.

Preschool forest.

♪ Number one or number two ♪

♪ Let's learn
where we pee and poo ♪

Power down, power down!

Okay, everybody out.
Paws in the air.

I know you're in there.

Ugh! Really.

- Barney!
- I'm sorry.

How dare you! Are you
calling me a criminal?

- Mom, no, no, no.
- You're not helping.

I paid for it!

- Hi, Absalom.
- Shh!

I'm gonna take you home, okay?

But you get
to choose your friends.

And you don't choose me.

I do, okay. I choose you.

I can fix you, like Gran said,

and I'll teach you
how to be my friend.

Okay, Absalom.

Okay.

My registered name is Absalom,

but my friends call me Barney.

My friends call me...

Ron Bintscatsco.

Okay, Ron.

Okay, Barney.

One day parking ticket,

next day firing squad.

No, that's not
gonna be a problem.

Hey, Barn. I am so sorry
about the B-Bot.

I'll figure something out.

It's okay, Dad. Not a problem.

I... I think
it's gonna be fine.

93, 94, 95, 96,

97, 98, 99!

One hundred
million units sold!

Whoo! Yeah!

Well, we made
100 million new friends,

all helping kids connect,
meet each other,

- interact.
- And all through their B-Bots.

Making friends face-to-face?

So last three millennia.

That's not what...

Some kids check in
with their bots

a hundred times a day,
plus 11 times overnight.

We've finally done it.
We've ended sleep.

Uh, the algorithm
may need adjusting.

Think of the data
we can harvest!

No, no, no. I designed them...

- In my garage.
- ...for making friends.

Into dollars.

If our share price
goes any higher,

we'll have to give it
a space suit.

So what about the B-Bot
that punched a child?

It hit a cop?

And a child.

It hit a cop.
We can't put that on the box.

No, no. B-Bots are incapable
of violence.

My algorithm
totally ensures no...

- Ow! Ow!
- Ow! Ow!

- I better look into that.
- You think?

I mean, what if someone
gets injured?

I, for one, could not live

with what that would do
to our share price.

It's not a problem.

We performed a complimentary
in-store crushing.

Good! Uh...

Because if that
was still out there,

we'd be toast.

Uh...

Shh. Guys, no clucking.

Okay, Ron.
How to be my friend.

A bunch of your code
is missing, right?

The settings
have not been uploaded.

So, I'm gonna teach you
to be my friend.

And then
you can come to school.

What is a friend, Barney?

Well, a friend
is a person who, uh,

likes, uh...

Is always... I...

A person who, uh, "likes,
is always, I."

Okay.
Now I'm your best friend.

Hey. Come back.

No, no, no. There's a lot more
than that, Ron.

You have to know
everything about me.

You have to like me,
obviously.

Like all the same stuff as me,
and you have to be on my side.

But don't hit people.
Even Rich Belcher.

Hair, brown. Height, 4'11".

5'11" would be better.
You could reach high objects.

Hey. A friend likes
everything about you.

- What?
- Let's go to school.

You don't even know
where school is.

Alice Springs, Allahabad,
Anchorage, Albuquerque.

Ooh. A-ha!

Mom! You're shorting
the power out!

You gotta fit in.

Huh?

Likes. Rocks, chess, Pac-Man.

- Bill the Bus.
- No!

That was when I was,
like, two.

Toast. But only for breakfast.

Butter on its own.

Mm!

Dislikes. Possums,
musicals, school. Generally.

The BuddyBench.

Eugh! Worms. I don't trust
anything without a face.

Stop!

I am fitting in!

You must always stay
within six feet.

I will always stay
within six feet.

Unless I say not to.

I am not to stay
within six feet.

No, no. Sometimes, yes.

- Sometimes.
- And sometimes, no.

- Yes.
- Like, if I had a bad day

- or...
- Bad day. Always six feet.

Allergies.
Goats, wool. Goats' wool.

I'm basically
allergic to life.

That's why I like rocks.

That is sad and also tragic.

What are you into, huh?
Electricity?

Electricity is better
than rocks.

Ron, what are you...

Whoo-hoo-hoo! You got it!
You got the six feet!

Hey! No, no, no. That's...

Barney?

I got a little break.
You wanna do something?

Chess, maybe?

Uh, thanks, Dad. I'm good.

Okay.

- Rocks.
- Electricity.

Rocks are better.

- Electricity.
- Uh, I said rocks.

I prefer electricity.

- Rocks.
- Electricity.

List friends.

Uh, next question.

You know, I'm... I'm not
actually unpopular, you know.

That would mean
they know I exist.

- Perhaps you don't.
- Hey!

List relations.

Dad, Donka,
some Bulgarian uncles.

Donka says, actually,
one was possessed,

but I think it might
have been a nut allergy.

There was Mom, too, of course.

But, uh,
she died when I was two.

And Dad moved us out here.

It doesn't make me sad exactly
'cause I... I can't remember.

But it did make
things hard for Dad.

She was returned
to the facility?

I guess. No receipt.

Scratches neck
14.5 times a day.

- What are you doing?
- I am learning about my friend.

Oh, cool.

Please slap my hand
to show we are bonding.

Oh! Okay.

You went to sleep!

No. It was a move.

Am I now your best friend
out of the box?

You're not still
after that sticker.

Oh, no, Ron. I'm so sorry.
Hold on. Hold on.

- Connect. Connect.
- No! Stop!

- Oh, no! Not that one! Ron!
- Connect. Connect. Connect.

That's Savannah's house!

Okay, key light,
Malibu filter.

- Perfect.
- Boom!

Oh, hey, guys.

You just caught me chilling.

Afloat. Aquatic.

Accident.

What is that?

It sounds like a giant snake.
Or an evil clown!

They live in the woods,

and their heads go
all the way around!

- Evil clown! Evil clown!
- Sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm just really wheezy, guys.
I've been running.

Ron!

Barney Pudowski?

You've ruined my aesthetic.

- Sorry, Savannah.
- Nice pool.

Wait. Since when
did you even have a B-Bot?

And... Whoa. Look at him.

I'm sorry. We're going
right now. I just...

Uh...

Barney, your B-Bot is,
like, super weird.

- Yeah.
- And naked?

Ew!

And hold on a sec.
Why hasn't it friended me?

No. He can't do
any of that stuff.

He can't make friends or...
He's useless at all that.

- Can't make friends?
- What?

Barney,
don't say your weirdness

has rubbed off on him.

Making friends is, like,
what he's for.

If he can't do that, he's,
like, literally pointless.

Like, a lump of plastic
just following you around.

Hashtag landfill.

- I am for making friends?
- Ron...

How do I make friends
for Barney?

Come.

- Seriously?
- Ugh.

You share stuff about him.

Like pictures of his food
or his wake-up routine.

You search
for people who know him

or like the same stuff as him.

You show them pictures,
and then you get comments,

and then you get
people that like him,

and then you get
friend invites.

- Boom! Now he has friends.
- Duh!

Ron! We have to go!

Does Barney need friends?

Well, yeah! Or, fun fact,

he will not survive
middle school.

Savannah,
please don't tell anyone.

I'm not supposed to have him.
He has to be a secret.

She's rewiring los electricos.

Okay. Unicorn poo.

It's great.

You like it!
Well, shipping date, um...

Ow! It shocked me!

Mind if I leave it on?

I am literally pointless.

What?

I cannot make friends for you.

Yeah. Well...

I'm not so great
at that either.

You should see me
during recess. Oh, it sucks.

I stand there every day,

on my own,
on the edge of the yard,

just hoping for a few people
to share a bench with.

You know?

But why would they?

The last time any of them
came to my house,

we set fire to them.

Ow! Not again.

I guess I'll just
sleep with it off.

Good night, Ron.

They're psychos!

It is them! I'd recognize
those ears from space.

Okay. Location. GPS.
Uh... Get up the grid.

Where is it?

Uh, it's not actually
on the network.

That's impossible.
So, I don't believe you.

We track every B-Bot.

- Um, yeah, but...
- Then the kid.

I want everything. Contacts,
shopping habits, shoe-size.

You mean his private data?

Sure.
Why else do we collect it?

We've got nothing on him.
He hasn't friended anyone.

He doesn't blog, post,
or share.

Creepy.

Her whole life is online.

Andrew. Is it true?
It's still out there?

The store made an error.
They squished Sally Squirrel.

♪ Let's learn where we... ♪

That's awesome!

What the heck
are you talking about?

I looked into it. And...

See? This is it!

It's what I imagined
when I was his age.

They're having fun!

Fun?

How... How can you
have fun offline?

It's against nature.

Andrew, I never programmed
B-Bots to laugh.

I have to understand this.
Can we get a hold of it?

Ho-ho, we will.

My aerial?
No power in whole street?

No. No idea.

What? Ron, no!
You have to hide.

You're not ready.

I'm sorry.
I'll be back soon.

There are no friends
in the shed.

Hi! I am Barney's B-Bot.

I live in the shed.

I am for making friends.

Idiot!

I am sharing Barney's
breakfast. Do you like it?

How about you?

Would you like to comment
on this picture, old woman?

Barney likes rocks, asthma inhalers,
and his grandmother's food.

Will you come to my secret
shed and like him?

No. No, no. No.

Barney likes
rock hammers, too!

I'm gonna be late.

My pants are on backwards.

That was Barney's
wake-up routine!

- Okay.
- Friend request.

Friend request.

So a prime number

is a natural number
greater than one

that cannot be divided
by any number.

I know you're keen,

but it's not quite
recess yet, Barney.

Oh, my asthma.
I need my inhaler, ma'am.

Uh, I'll be one minute.

Ron! What are you doing here?

There are no
friends in the shed.

I am for making friends.

No! No, no, no. You have to go
before they come out for...

Recess.

You have
two new messages.

Only two?

Hey, Barn. You got a B-Bot?

- Um...
- Hey.

Awesome.

Huh. Well, that went well.

I thought so.

Okay.

Come on.

Wow, that's so minimalistic.
It's like a blank canvas.

Friend request.

Recess.

Maybe it'll be okay.

Recess will not suck.

You will have friends
to sit with on a bench.

I don't know. Yeah. I guess.

You will.

- I have brought you some.
- What?

I am literally not landfill.

This is so crazy.

Ron! Wait!

You have five new friends.

I did a search for them.

Shayne likes low-priced alcohol
and conspiracy theories.

He believes there's
a secret lizard government

- beneath Switzerland.
- Shh.

He will friend you
if he can stay in the shed.

Barney! Bro!
Just for a year. Two max.

Are those your friends,
Barney?

Is this, like, a rave?

This friend shared
your breakfast and liked it.

Oh, yeah!

He gets hungry like you.

Your neighbor Mrs. Baxter's parrot
has one friend in common with you.

Your neighbor, Mrs. Baxter.

He commented on your photo.

He has done other things
on your photo, too.

Margaret will friend you

- and share her...
- No.

...purse, watch, anything

if I please,
please just let her go.

Now you have friends to
sit with on a bench at recess.

I'm so sorry.
You can't be here.

Barney, meet
friend number five.

This tiny bald man
likes your picture so much,

he is eating it.

There he is! Logan!

Friend request,
friend request.

- Ron?
- Ron, Ron, Ron.

- Yeah! Come on!
- Ron, Ron, Ron!

Savannah Meads' mom
didn't recognize the boy.

We're at her school now.

Okay, sure.

We keep this low-key,
people. Discreet.

Nice and quiet, okay?

- Love you guys!
- Ron, Ron, Ron.

Pudowski!

Yeah!

Sticking it to the man!

Principal's office. Now!

Hey, bros. Ho-ho-ho-ho.

Come on, Pudowski. Move it!

You're not new, are you?

You're that crazy broken dude
who punched me.

How'd you do that?

I have no mega safety controls
and stuff.

Safety settings, parental
controls, account limits, all off!

That's how come
he hit you, dude!

I want mine like that.
Then it can hit me, too!

I could get R-rated movies.

Copy him. Find that code.

Unlock.

Unlock.

He's gonna get
us a trillion views!

I don't like you.

I don't like you.

Hey, guys.

Savannah. What's going on?

It's Bubble!

My post is such a hit,
the whole company's following me.

What post?

Twenty thousand
friends love...

What? I said he
has to be a secret.

I know. But it went crazy!

You're such
an actual freak, Barney,

it's, like, almost cool.

Pudowski!

Pudowski! What is going on?

Nothing, Ms. Hartley.

You brought in a baby?

Artificially
sweetened beverages?

- A parrot.
- A parrot.

Where is the bot?

Call head office.

Get him, boys.

Unlock, unlock, unlock.

Get 'em!

- Unlock.
- Uh...

Okay. Buy 10,000 mechbucks.

Whoa! It works!
BubblePay has no limits!

Give me weapons.
Give me upgrades.

All upgrades unlocked.

Hey! Jerk of Thrones.

- What?
- Get them!

Hey! Those are our bots!

- Give them back!
- Whoa!

Levelling up!

- Whoa!
- My prank, Noah.

Thanks for the ride. Oh!

Rich, come back!

Yo, Sav. Who's lame now?

- Hey!
- Unlock.

Do you wanna connect

to all the users
of the Bubble network?

You can access them all?
Um, yeah!

Okay, hi, um,
everyone in the world.

And this is
Nonsuch Middle School.

Incoming!

It's Mad Max meets
Sesame Street live streaming.

We think the safety controls
are off on all the bots.

Uh, let's send out a patch.

Yeah, we're on it!

That was awesome!

What the...?

You shall not pass.

Kiss my Sith Lord butt!

Rabbits, attack!

Destroy! Destroy! Destroy!

Book a party at a night club.

Invite everyone.
Except Savannah.

Everybody, stop!

Hey, Rich!

- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- Catch!

Whoo!

You got this on the live, bro?

For the views!

So it's basically kind of
the apocalypse, but fun!

Hey, cut it out, Sav.
This is my thing.

Sorry, Rich. I have...

Four million, four hundred
and thirty-two views.

Oh, Australia's waking up.
G'day, guys.

We're about to be shamed
by a whole other hemisphere.

And this is a giant monkey...

zombie mash-up that's
basically trashing our school.

- Patch in one minute.
- Are you knitting this thing?

- Do something!
- Hello?

It's nearly pickup!

Brains!

Ha-ha! And I'm Rich Belcher
from Prank You Very Much.

Get this.

Hey, hey.

Snack!

It pooped me.

Sharing "It pooped me."

- Sharing "It pooped me."
- Sharing.

- No. Stop it.
- Sharing. Sharing. Sharing.

- Don't share that.
- Sharing "It pooped me."

Uploading the patch now!

That's the patch.

Just in time.
Good thing nobody saw it.

You just killed Bubble, Marc.

Spread out. Find the rogue.

How can I put this gently?
Get out!

Hi, Barney.

We have 43 new friends.

Maybe you do.
But I've been kicked out.

This way.

Ugh!

How could you? You dumb bot!

I'm in so much trouble now.

All you had to
do was just fit in.

What was the point of even...?

Barney,
are you my friend?

What?

What do you mean?

My dad bought you for me.

What's that?

Where are you going?

Friendship is
a two-way street.

- What?
- I get to choose.

You taught me.

I didn't say
be more than six feet.

But you are
having a bad day.

You know what? I don't care.
Fine! Go on then.

- I am going.
- Uh-huh.

- Okay.
- Okay. I'll...

- Okay.
- Okay!

Adios,
registered-name-Absalom.

Adios, Absalom's B-Bot.

It's trending
in 13 countries!

They've searched
the school, Marc.

They didn't find it.

Bubble shares
are crashing. Down 43%.

We've got thousands of parents
complaining about B-Bot safety.

We've got thousands of kids complaining
their bots won't do the same stuff!

Marc, what do we do?

I... Uh, I've...

I wonder.

Maybe being a guy who makes
his friends out of skateboards

doesn't equip you to run
a global tech giant.

Mm!

Okay. Here's our story.

We blame everything
on the rogue.

A single unit with
a minor coding error.

Minor? But the riot.

What riot?
We hose down the Internet.

Delete every video.
Take down every post.

Any TV station broadcasts it,

we buy the station and
replace it with cat videos,

then we sue the kids
for misuse of product

unless they sign
a binding yada, yada,

and send the principal
a fruit basket.

But what does
the genius think?

Okay.
Andrew, you do this.

Sweet justice pie.

Hey, run off back to your lab

and invent something
that doesn't kill us all.

And, uh, you got an algorithm
for refilling this?

We got an address
from the school.

Pudowski. Oak Hill Drive.

Bing bong belushi!

Go!

Huh?

No. But Barney
doesn't even have a B-Bot.

All the kids at school
confirm he does, Mr. Pudowski.

He started a riot.

I'm sorry, are you calling
my son a liar?

Oh, Barney.

Barney,
are you my friend?

"Know
everything about me."

"Stay within six feet of me."

"Like me."

Huh?

Ron!

What are you doing?

Returning myself
to the facility.

I am a dumb bot.

No! No, you're not.
I'm so sorry.

I was wrong.

We did not fix me.
I did not fit in.

Who cares? Neither do I.

It doesn't matter.
'Cause you are my friend.

Your best friend
out of the box?

But still don't burn
my underpants.

You know, I have been
worried about him, but, uh,

I just... I work
these crazy hours.

The bot's in there?

Okay. This thing is dangerous.

We need to destroy it.

- Let's run.
- Barney,

are you in there?

Just you and me.

Mom,
do you have a key?

We don't need anyone else.

Hey, you're not in trouble.
Please, just let me in.

Where is he?

- Shh.
- No clucking.

Could he
be with a friend?

Well, he...
he doesn't really have any.

Hey! Isn't that the kid?

Go! Go, go, go!

He's getting away!

We need to go faster!

No problem!

Ron, you did it! Yes!

Hey, down here!

Hey, stop! Come back!
We just want the bot!

Quick!

Shh.

"Poop Girl" is trending.
You have 19,032,000 likes.

- He went this way!
- Shh.

Hey, miss. You seen
a boy and a bot?

Do I look like I care?

Okay, sorry. My bad.

What's going on?

Bubble are looking for Ron.

They blame him for the riot.
I have to protect him.

Hey, dude.
I think that was Poop Girl.

Savannah?

"Poop Girl" has
20 million and 56...

Poop Girl. That's...

That's who I'm gonna be
for my whole life.

No.

You sure
he's not back there?

- We gotta go.
- Wait.

You're running away?
To the woods?

Please don't tell
anyone this time.

There are evil clowns
in there, Barney.

Their heads go
all the way around.

That's owls,
Savannah. I promise!

You lost them? No, no, no.
This is not happening.

You know what?

Access the cameras
on every B-Bot in town.

Use B-Bots to spy?

No. We're just recording for
training and monitoring purposes.

- But Marc would never...
- Marc put a camera

within six feet of every
young consumer in the country.

And now you're
worried about privacy?

Turn on the mics, too.

Listen out for
"Barney," "Rogue Bot,"

"Profit-sucking plastic
psycho." That kind of thing.

We'll find him. Wherever he is
in that Podunk town!

- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
- Whoo-hoo.

Whoo!

Whoo.

- Ron.
- In your face.

Come on, Space Lord, fight me!

You need a stick.

- Searching for stick.
- Huh?

Is this one good?

Come back
and let me hurt you.

Ron! That's way too big
for a stick!

Look at mine compared
to yours!

Please help.

You have 0.85 friends.

- You have 0.7 friends.
- Oh, wow, you're sinking.

Hold on. Just...

You have 0.2 friends.

Grab my hands!
I'm gonna get you out.

I'm gonna get you out.

You know what? You choose.

Two-way street, right?

That way is good.

No, wait, wait.
Where are you going?

Ron. Hey, wait.
Stop! Stop, stop.

No! Ron!

Gotcha! Whoa!

Gotcha!

What? Why on earth
would you do that?

Do I have to like
the path you like?

No!
But your path sucks!

And seriously?
Off a cliff?

I like,

"Seriously?
Off a cliff?"

That way is good.

Log. Log.

- Log.
- Here.

Been eating
too much electricity?

- Your muscles are under-sized.
- No, they're not.

Hey, Ron.

Tell me something about you.
I never asked.

I am a Bubble
generation one B-Bot.

I currently have one friend.

- Oh, wow. I found it.
- Nice!

You wanna share?

You have not shared
29 friend invites.

Yeah. I know.

If you don't ask,
they can't say no.

Problem solved.

You know who I had at my party
when I was six?

Savannah and Rich. For real.

They were my friends just
because they lived nearby.

But at some point you just...
You just get it...

that you're not gonna be
one of the cool kids.

Hey, who cares, right?

'Cause I currently have
one friend, too.

How long will we
live in the woods?

I don't know.

Forever?

Do you know any stories, Ron?

I can create one
from my available data.

It will be called

"The Awesome Adventures
of Absalom of Addis Ababa

"and His Android, Alan."

Once upon a time
in Addis Ababa,

capital city of Ethiopia,
sovereign state in the Horn of Africa,

with 100 million inhabitants,

lived Absalom and his friend
Alan, a generation one android.

That's a nice story.

Shall we check your
messages one more time?

- Yeah, sure.
- "Poop Girl" is trending.

Savannah
unfriended me? Unfriend her!

Well, anyone with a brain
cell should block Rich Belcher.

Message to
anyone with a brain cell.

They what? It wasn't my fault.

Shall we check your
messages one more time?

My algorithm. What?

Did you see Savannah?

Poop Girl, right?

I'm so glad
I am not her right now.

You dropped her
from this chat, right?

Dropping Savannah
from this chat.

Someone did a remix.

♪ It pooped me ♪

♪ It pooped me ♪

Who did that?

Anonymouse3 created it.

23 million friends love
"Poop Girl, the Remix!"

Oh.

Hi. Uh, we're Barney's...

Um...

He hasn't come home.

And, yeah. So we're just...

We're checking with his, uh...

his fellow children.

You are Barney's friend.

You come to his
birthday party.

Um...

My goat eat
your slap bracelet.

Oh! That party.

Do you have any idea
where he is?

Uh... Um...

No, I, uh... Sorry.

Oh, Mom. I work round
the clock selling novelty junk

just to try to
give him a life.

But I'm blowing it, Mom.
I... I've lost touch with him.

Why didn't he come to me?

Sometimes kid
protect grown-up.

That's not right.

He will be okay.

Pudowskis are
brave and strong.

There's a spider.
Literally, like, this big!

A bird has commented
on your face.

Oh, great.

Where even are we?

Recess. Now known as
20 minutes of extra math.

What is
four-fifths as a decimal?

What is the
square root of nine?

Ugh! Seriously?

You have to be kidding me.

Alex, Jayden!

Yesterday was sick, right?

Sorry. Jayden's not
available right now.

They've blocked me?

Simplify the expression:

three to the power
of eight minus eleven.

Rich!

Twenty-five million
friends love...

- ♪ It pooped me ♪
- Wait! Seriously!

- You have ruined my life.
- Uh...

But, look. It's Barney, okay?
He's missing.

What?

You and me,
we got him in trouble.

He's in the woods.
It's our fault he's out there.

Access denied.

- Here.
- Access denied. Access...

Access.

Let's find some place to camp.

Everything's wet.

How long is...

"I don't know. Forever"?

Twelve hours?
Twelve days? Twelve years?

- Twelve decades?
- Stop asking dumb questions.

I have 12% battery
power remaining.

Ron, come back.

Have you got water damage
to the brain?

I mean, seriously?

If you go back, they will
send you to the crusher.

Do you want to be recycled
as a lunch box?

What is your plan? Is it,

"Run! Run away!

- "Go, go, go! We gotta run."
- Stop. Ron.

Stop it!

Avoids problems
89% of the time.

You are so annoying!

You are so annoying
43.8% of the time.

Why don't you save your
battery by getting off my back?

Argh. There's nothing
in these woods that'll burn!

Incorrect.

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

What's that?

I never told you that.

I'm not afraid of the dark.

Oh, no. Ron.

My solar battery function

has not been uploaded.

Electricity.
Of course you like it.

Five percent
battery remaining.

Five percent? Uh...

Okay. Go to sleep.
Power down. Power down.

Oh, Ron.
You're right about the dark.

After my mom died, I was
terrified every single night.

And I wanted so bad

to just run into my dad's room
and tell him...

but what if
he was scared, too?

Ron!

Seriously, Ron?

No one even knows we're here.

He's in the woods.
It's our fault he's out there.

He left town for the woods?

It's night.
The weather's getting worse.

Pff. So access
the security cameras.

Uh...

There aren't any.
It's the woods.

Insane. Okay.

Let's put some in.

Get me to Nonsuch.

They're in the woods.
I have to meet Ron and Barney.

One of these trees must have a
power outlet or something, right?

Oh, this is not okay, Ron.

Best friends don't die
on each other.

Are we going
around in circles?

Hey! Down here! Over here!
Help us! Help!

Wait. They'll help me, but...

No, no, no. Come on.

What are they?

Ow.

I got nothing.

We can't give up.

People get lost in those woods
and never come out.

You know what?

We've done our best.
Let's call it a night.

- What? We can't do that.
- But what about the boy?

He's just not in there.

We should try across
town tomorrow.

Let's all go home.

That's Savannah's
B-Bot. And Noah's.

Ron.

I guess we're
both literally landfill.

"Poop Girl" has 32 million...

Why is there mud
on your wheels?

Huh?

No, no. You can't go back.

Must survive middle school.

No, no, Ron.
They'll...

They'll take you forever.

They'll send
you to the crusher.

Stay with me.

There are no
friends in the woods.

Ron.

What is it?

Alert Bubble.
Alert Bubble. Alert Bubble.

Do you see that?
Oh, my gosh!

Bubble Bot,
Ron Bintscatsco...

- It's Ron.
- Hey! It's him!

- And... And Barney!
- Barney?

Barney! Come on!

We're coming, brother.
Hang on there!

- Barney, are you okay?
- Barney!

It's his asthma.
He can't breathe right.

Twelve-year-old boy.
Grade two bronchospasm.

Why are you guys here?

- Friends...
- Sixth birthday.

Sorry.

He thought that...
I... I know...

I know you're not my friends.

Well, we're not
not your friends.

Over here!

Yo, guys,
he's over here.

Get down here. Let's go!

He's hurt.
He needs help.

- Quick! It's them. Help them!
- Okay, I can see them.

Barney! Oh, Barney!

Mr. Pudowski,
Mr. Pudowski, he's over here.

Check his lungs
for a pulse or something.

- Stand back!
- Oh, my Barney.

All right, deep breaths.

Everything's okay.
Dad's here.

Help him, please!

We've located the kid.

It's them! They're safe.

They found them!

- What's happening?
- The bot saved the boy.

What? That evil
profit-sucking thing!

- Grab it!
- I'm on it.

- Stand back.
- Hey... Let me take him.

- Give me the bot.
- What are you doing?

- Stop! You can't take him!
- Leave him alone!

- Stop it!
- It's dangerous.

- He's not dangerous.
- No!

You can't take him.
We won't let you!

That bot is Barney's
best friend, dude.

He just saved his life!

- Oh, no.
- The stream's trending.

People are calling
the bot a hero!

Aw!

Brave Bubble Bot saved boy.
RIP, Ron. How sad.

- And yet how great for sales!
- What?

Okay. Moving on!

We've known Barney
since we were little.

You were his best friend
in kindergarten.

And you were mine.

It gets complicated.

Yeah, right.
Should I friend Barney?

Searching for
"Barney likes pranks."

No matches.

Your pranks are lame.

They're funny, man.

If I don't do funny,
uh, I got nothing.

Since when did
this stuff matter?

Barney and Ron.
It's like we used to be.

♪ It pooped me ♪

- Barney? Barney!
- Oh, Barney!

Hey! Oh, Barney,
I am so sorry.

I let you down.

I know I'm always
overwhelmed with work.

But I'm your dad, okay?

You're like a
piece of my heart

walking around the world,

and I love you so much

that it makes me strong enough
to deal with anything.

Except losing touch with you.

Just talk to me, Barney.

- I'm trying!
- You're lonely? I get it.

- Where's Ron?
- Just communicate.

Ow! Hey!

I've got a friend, Dad!

The one that saved
my life, remember?

- Where is he?
- Uh...

Hi. I'm Marc Wydell
from Bubble.

Where is Ron?
If you crushed him...

No, of course not.
Barney, I invented B-Bots.

They're my dream.
Connection and friendship.

But it's not working.

Except you and Ron.
I fixed him.

- I wanna understand.
- What's up, Barney?

Ron! You're okay!

What's that?

The new number one
on the high-five charts.

I now know all 100.

- Are you okay?
- Doing great, buddy!

Let's go home and check out
your awesome rock collection.

No. You like electricity.

I do if you do.

Wait. This isn't Ron.
What did you do to him?

His code was unstable.

So I re-installed
the algorithm...

He fixed me. Selfie?

- Old women. Not trending.
- Bah.

Widowed dads, downer!

- Hey.
- Enhance and post!

Un-fix him. It's not him!

N... No. It... It's okay.

I backed up Ron to the cloud.

I'll just log in and I'll find
the old... Huh?

They can't lock me out.
I'm the CEO of Bubble.

As the new CEO of Bubble,

it's my sad duty to announce

that the shareholders
have wisely agreed

to fire Marc Wydell.

Andrew! Andrew! Andrew!

- What?
- Argh.

Barney!

He's in the cloud.
That's what you said, right?

- Well...
- So take me there.

- I'm sorry?
- You heard my son.

He needs to get
to the cloud thing.

And I'm going with him! Uh...

Barney, the cloud
is in a concrete fortress

half a mile below Bubble.

There are two million servers
with a zettabyte of data.

How would you find Ron?

He's my friend.

So take me there
and get me in!

Yeah! Go get

- that psycho robot, dude!
- Go! Go, Barney!

Okay, Bubble booble.
Let's go get Ron.

Okay. To get Barney
down into the cloud,

we'll have to break
in past security

and get right to the
heart of Bubble HQ.

Tomorrow afternoon,
all the workers

will be watching Andrew
in the launchitorium.

That's our chance.

All staff
to the launchitorium.

All staff to the
launchitorium.

Please welcome
your new CEO, Andrew!

Yes, yes, yes!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Yes! Ha-ha! Love it!

- Hi.
- Hi there!

How can Bubble help you?

- Cleaner!
- Uh, ma'am, you can't just...

- Sir?
- Ma'am?

Yeah. Can you
take a look at this, please?

It just keeps crashing on me.

And there's a smell of burning
when I hit the space bar.

Sir, this isn't a Bubble Store.
This is HQ.

Oh. Uh...

Oh! I just put Bubble
in my GPS.

I wondered why
it was a 19-hour drive.

Can you look at it anyway?

Oh, silly me.

Again, please.

Oh! Ooh.

Hang... Might be... Ooh.

Pat down?

So, workers, colleagues,
shareholders.

Hi, shareholders. Love ya.

Bubble's had a few
minor problems lately, right?

Oof! Yeah.
But here's the good news.

There's nothing wrong
with our B-Bots. It's kids.

Kids are the problem.

You give a child
an hour of screen time,

you get peace and quiet.

You have his friends around,
all hell breaks loose!

Am I right, kids?

Stick to your screens.

Today, your best friend
out of the box becomes...

The only friend
you'll ever need!

Just log in, sir.

Okay.

Huh?

See? That's what it did
at my house.

All good.

What happened?

Come on!

Okay. Everybody out.

This goats smells.

Okay. This way.

Server room.
Fingerprint recognition.

Uh...

I fix it.

Lights, sprinklers,
air-con, security doors.

Eat it all, Martina!

What? Uh...

What the...?

- Okay.
- You guys go that way.

Good to see you, buddy.

What is going on?

Uh, there's
a guy in reception.

- What?
- It's his laptop.

"Pudowski Novelty Exports"?
Pudowski! That kid!

Uh, Andrew.
He's in the building.

What?

Hey, yeah.
I think he went down that way.

Down here!

Huh?
They were right here.

That is weird.

Okay.

Barney, slide along
to the central shaft.

The data cables inside
lead to down to the cloud.

We'll cover security
and, uh, stuff.

- Good luck, Momscke.
- Okay.

Okay.

Of course
they're in the corridors.

They didn't just vanish!

Just go down here.

Whoa.

Okay.

He never mentioned that.

What are you doing?

Uh... Uh...

Uh...

I... You have problem
with women in workplace?

I never said that.

You want to squeeze my knee?

What?

Andrew, we found this goat
in the electrics.

Who are you people?
An improv troupe?

Ron!

Ron!

Where is your
snotty little brat?

He's looking for his friend.

Friend? Friend?

Hey, are you my friend?

Sure, Andrew.

They're just code. A trick.

What?

Data-harvesting
units controlled by us.

Designed to give kids
a consumer experience

featuring products and services
tailored to their browsing profile.

The B-Bots know
everything about them.

So we can sell them stuff.

You're spying on kids?

I hate kids.

Uh, Andrew. There's someone
inside the cloud.

What? It's him, isn't it?

- Power down the cloud.
- No!

- No.
- And send in security.

Ron!

Are you even here?

Oh, no. Where are you?
Barney Pudowski.

Um, seventh grade.

Nonsuch Middle School.

Uh... What is this?

Powering down.

- What's happening?
- System at 10%.

- No. No, no, no.
- 5%.

2%.

No!

Ron, I'll never find you.

And you'll never find me.

Find me.

Find me!

Please.

Ron, I'm coming!

Ron!

Come on, come on!

Yes! I'm in.

Barney! He made it.

I found you!
I did it! I found you!

Uh, desk, desk.

Oh! Okay. Uh...

Here we go.

Hi, Absalom?

Ron, it's you!

Now I know
what's wrong with him.

Ron never had my algorithm.

Whoa!

That's his code?

It's beautiful. Like...

Alive.

♪ Dikky, dikky, dakka ♪

Hey, Ron. They turned you
into electricity...

♪ Dikky, dikky, dikky, dakka
Dikky, dikky, dakka ♪

...and then put
you inside a rock.

Electricity is best.

- You are so annoying!
- Whoa, whoa...

Please slap my hand
to show we are bonding.

I am within six feet.

Okay. Then just stay that way,
all right?

'Cause we gotta get out
of here! Come on, Ron.

Ron?

Ron?

Not, not your friends.

I know. I...

They are not having fun.

It's weird.

I used to think
that I was the lonely one.

They need to upgrade to a Ron.

I am for making friends.

What?
You mean, for real?

Uh, upgrade them
so they'd all be like you?

Please connect me
to the Bubble network.

Two hundred and twenty-five
million Rons out there!

Please connect me.

It would be insane!
I mean, amazing, but...

It will be fun.

Huh.

We're right here.
In the middle of the network.

Maybe we could really do this.

It's our one chance.
Now or never.

- Systems are down.
- It won't open!

Uh... Come on, Barney.
What are they doing?

"Upgrade all B-Bots
to be like Ron."

Ron's code! Of course.
His code is the fix to mine!

I can help them.

Marc? He's helping us.
This is how we do it.

- Yes!
- Come on, kid, open up!

Okay, what do I do?

Um, reboot... Wait!

Please connect me
to the Bubble network.

Oh! Finally, buddy.

Okay. Hold on tight, guys.
You're all getting a Ron!

Ron. Wait,
where are you going?

Into the network.

No. No way.

You just copy your code
and send that.

The settings
have not been uploaded.

No, no, no.
His code is fragmenting.

He'll disappear! No!

We'll just have
to go. Forget it.

Come on.
I'm not leaving you behind.

Barney.

I am for making friends.

What?

No. You're coming with me.

How to be a friend.

You taught me.

No. Stay with me. Remember?

Stay friends.

We can fix it.

You and me.

Now or never.

I guess we'll...

we'll swap them all
for a good one.

The best one.

Go, Ron. You don't have
to stay within six feet.

Go. Be everywhere.

Adios, Absalom.

Arrivederci, Ron Bintscatsco.

- Come on. What is that?
- What's happening?

Whoo-hoo!

Hi.

Uh...

I, uh, took a wrong turn.

Oh. Uh...

Right.

This way, please.

We got him.

Finally. Job done.

Uh, the cameras.

Barney! Hey! There he is!

Oh, Barney!

Move it along.
Everybody outta here.

Did you...?

I'm gonna tell
you everything, Dad.

On the way home.

Okay. Great.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Etcetera.

Sorry. Just, um... Uh...

Where were we?

A trick! Data harvesting units
controlled by us.

So we can sell
them stuff. I hate kids!

You know, I've loved my time
as Bubble CEO,

and I wanna thank you all
for your support

over the last
32 historic hours.

But I need to go now
to spend more time with my...

contacts.

So, please welcome back

Marc Wydell.

Marc! Marc! Marc!

Welcome to the future
of friendship.

- See you later.
- Here we go again.

It's gonna get weird.

- That way is good.
- This way is good.

Hey! What happened to
staying within six feet?

Guys, where's my troll bot?
Wait...

I get to choose.

K-pop? Are you kidding me?

Three months it's been
like this. Come back.

Come on, dude.

So, here I am again.

Eighteen minutes
of recess fun.

Thanks, Ron. You fixed me.

And everyone else.

Hey! We don't know them.

I get to choose your friends.
And I choose everyone!

Friend request.
Friend request.

- Hey.
- Friend request.

You've changed the world,
Barney Pudowski.

How cool is that?

- Friend request.
- Friend request.

Not just me.

Hey! Oh, my gosh!

Aren't you that girl
that got... You know.

Video not found.

Oh. My bad.

Thanks.

Come on.

- Hi, Barney!
- Hey!

My bot does
that every time.

- Hey there.
- Hi.

- It's so weird.
- Hi.

- He's, like, king of the bots.
- They love Pudowski.

Barn, you have got to get back
in that Bubble cloud place.

And get this bot to stop
making up its own game rules.

Free upgrades
for everyone!

How am I ever gonna win?

Dude! We gotta tell 'em!

You pranked a global
freakin' tech giant, man!

Please let me stream
the reveal, bro, please?

Take it from me, Rich.
Fame is overrated.

Look what I brought.

- I'll take one.
- One for everyone.

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

Barney! Hey! You see?

I told you my bench
would work!

Oh!

Yeah. It's great.

Mmm. Is all your
gran's food this good?

Come... Come over sometime.
Hang out.

I know you're dying to
see my rock collection.

Will she set us on fire again?

- Hope so.
- That was so fun!

But you're gonna have to talk
to that goat,

because I do not want
any more of my jewelry

going through its intestines.

♪ Dikky, dikky, dakka ♪