Robot Wars (1993) - full transcript

This is Maris 2 confirming
intruders near marker 475.

Suggest you inform
chief of operations.

Gotta be a security
check, captain.

Nobody in his right mind's
going up against this baby.

That's what I thought,
too, Stumpy before yesterday.

Come in.

This is Rooney.

Just happened to
be at OpCom, chief,

or were you expecting trouble?

Don't be such a wise ass,
Drake, Mr. Know-it-all.

We've been here
before, remember?



Marker alarm doesn't
necessarily mean a problem.

Maybe a coyote took
a leak on a sensor.

Could be.

Let's take a look
on the hyperzoom.

If a coyote did that, he's got
a laser gun between his legs.

Damn Centros.

Intruder is at
marker 474, sir.

We got ourselves
a wild west show.

Did you hear that, Drake?

You're gonna have to throw up
a thermal wave, nip this thing

in the bud.

Let me take a looksy.

Chief.

Ah, General.



How kind of you to
schedule an exercise just

for our amusement.

General, we never know
whether this is the real thing

or if it's something that
Washington has cooked

up to keep us on our toes.

Ah, the Washington types.

What a lovely bunch of coconuts.

Three perps, three
baby carriages.

They're all moving in
separate directions.

I'm putting up 100 % mag shield
and I'm staying stationary.

Forget the mag.

Wipe them off the
screen, soldier.

This ain't no
drill, chief, not

this close to the toxic tomb.

Who cares?

It's just another
local Centro party.

I'm carrying passengers.

How long are we
just gonna sit here?

I don't know.

Maximum security

conditions are now in effect.

Fasten your safety
harness and remain seated.

The captain has put on
the "no smoking" sign.

Please extinguish
all cigarettes.

Oh my god, we're gonna crash.

Come on, it's a
standard security drill.

After
checking your safety

helmets to make sure the chin
strap is snugly in place,

attach the body harness
across each shoulder.

And above all, remain calm.

Thank you for
riding Megarobot 2.

Well, general, you're
getting a ringside seat here.

Great pleasure to observe
last megarobot in combat.

You'll see firsthand just
exactly why the alliances

need the new minimech series.

Since the Maris 2 is the
only thing that we've

got to stop those Centro punks.

Excuse me.

Colonel Pritchard, will you
take care of our guests?

Yes, sir.

What do you, Sing?

We will smash
them like tortillas.

Drake.

You rang?

I want you to show these
guys what the big boy can do.

You want me to turn a
firefight into a sales pitch?

I want you to turn the
intruders into stains,

and save your little comments
for the Sunday funnies.

Tell me it's a
bad dream, skipper.

Guess who's gonna have
to fix his rickshaw.

It's getting ugly
out here, chief.

Request surface
troops on the double.

Request denied.

Stop acting like a weak sister.

I got innocent people here.

Call off the floor show
or I'm gonna abort.

You'll do what I
tell you to do, mister.

Those civvies signed a waiver
when they bought their tickets.

Now, put that mother into
gear and kick some ass.

Maris 2 has
encountered hostile conditions.

Please remain calm.

Your safety is complete assured.

Amazing.

You'd really think
we're being attacked.

This is no drill.

We are being attacked.

Drake, what
the hell's going on?

We're under fire
from remote-controlled

laser launchers.

They're triangulating
the mag shield.

What was that?

What are you gonna
do to 'em, captain?

They mess with the
bull, they get the horn.

What's the story?

The surface targets
eliminated, sir.

Maris 2 might have some damage
to the passenger compartment.

Drake, you OK out there, son?

What about the passengers?

Shook up.

No apparent injuries.

I'm heading back to OpCom now.

Let's turn this
thing around, Stumpy.

Well, see if you
can make up some time.

We got another group we'd better
get into Crystal Vista today.

Not with me in the cockpit.

I always said you were
the best robot pilot we had,

but not the only one.

I'll see you in my office later.

Hook me up to the
passenger compartment, Bob.

You're on.

Good afternoon, passengers, in
the megarobot Assault System 2.

This is the North Hemi
operations chief WD Rooney.

We have just concluded
a simulated attack

on the Maris 2 security system.

This was only a
readiness exercise.

However, if it had
been a real emergency,

your safety would
have been assured

by the Maris 2 magnetic
shield defensive mechanism.

We thank you for
your cooperation.

And we hope you enjoyed
this rare and unforgettable

experience.

You knew this was a
simulation all along.

Well, he really had us fooled.

You acted as scared
as the rest of us.

Yeah, I didn't
wanna ruin it for you.

Right this way, folks.

That's it.

That's it.

Welcome.

Good day.

I'm Lieutenant
Plunkett, and I'll

be your tour guide during
your stay here at North Hemi.

Please be sure to
remain in your coveralls

with your ID badge
displayed at all times.

You're with the media.

You should be in a
special press group.

No, no.

I'm here visiting a friend.

I'm on vacation.

Very well, as long as
you're not using an mcorder.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Maris 2 is now

returning from routine patrol.

Tomorrow morning, we will
board the passenger compartment

for an incredible,
once in a lifetime ride

aboard the world's only
surviving megarobot, including

a stopover in Crystal Vista,
a typical American community,

which is preserved exactly
as it existed when it

was abandoned overnight
during the Great

Toxic Gas Scare of 1993.

Hard to imagine, isn't it?

A time when the world was
frightened by toxic waste?

Well, that was way before
we here at North Hemi

proved that long term storage
of hazardous materials

can be safe and fun.

Well, I see that Maris 2 has
completed the docking operation

and is now unloading passengers.

Believe me, there's some happy
people over there right now.

That was no simulation.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

I still can't figure it out.

Was it real or was it simulated?

I don't know.

Let's just get out of here.

Leda.

Fanny.

Hi,

Hi, honey.

I didn't expect
you till morning.

Well, I caught an early
ride out with a tour group.

You really made it sound like
it was urgent, and you know me,

I'm a journalist.

Shh.

Keep it quiet, will you?

I dunno what I'm
dealing with here.

Hey, are you all right?

You look like something's
really bugging you.

What is it?

Oh, some cowboy pretending
to be a robot pilot

had to pick this afternoon to
prove what an asshole he is!

Excuse me, miss.

Did you call me an asshole?

You broke my
specimens, you jerk off.

Oh, now I'm a jerkoff.

My grandmother could pilot
that robot better than you.

Are you suicidal or
just incompetent?

Are you busy tonight?

Excuse me?

Let's go to your place.

You know, mine's a mess.

You do have brain
damage, don't you?

And you have a
great set of lips.

And you've got a lot of
nerve, jeopardizing people's

lives for your own amusement!

You see, Stumpy?

This woman cannot
live without me.

I think you need to
be, you know, spanked.

And I think you
need an ice pack.

Come on, let's go.

Hey, Rocky, it
wasn't my fault.

Wow.

I like her.

She's got some pair of sweater
puppies under those coveralls.

Bite your tongue, Stumpy.

That hellcat's gonna
bear my children.

Well, I'm thinking you're
a little punchy, sir.

She doesn't even like you.

I'm thinking you're right.

That was no love tap, my friend.

Well, she's got a point.

We got no right dragging
tourists into a firefight.

What am I supposed to do,
Stumpy, ignore a direct order?

Those bastards at
OpCom want everyone

to think it's for show!

Well, she's no
dope, that lady.

Maybe she'll blow the
whistle to the press.

Yeah, I hope she does.

I've had it up to here.

Now, captain, don't--
now, don't start

saying you're gonna quit.

You're not gonna quit.

Yeah, I am.

This time, I am.

Put a fork in me, I'm done.

Again?

You like, Wally?

I like.

Well, you can arrange to
have the same buggy, gentlemen.

That big?

Well, half that size.

And without the assault
weapons, of course.

But it will be fully equipped
to protect your toxic zones.

As long as we have
limited weapon components.

You got it, Sing-Sing.

It's Wan-Sing.

Done deal.

Our alliance is a peaceful one.

Our borders are not in
dispute, as yours are.

Is that a crack, general?

What General Wa-Lee
is most interested in is

the entertainment aspects of--

Shut up, Sing-Sing.

I am most interested in the
entertainment aspects of

large robotic security systems.

Then I think you'll
like this news.

I've arranged for you to
travel aboard the Maris 2

to Crystal Vista before
you leave North Hemi.

That is good news.

I have authorized it
for you to ride up front,

behind the pilot in the cockpit.

Well, allow me to
return the honor.

Tonight, my officers
and I will conduct

a traditional Shim-Ku ceremony.

You and your officers and their
guests are welcome to observe.

Well, thank you, general.

That sounds very interesting.

Leda, you're asking me to
believe the whole ghost town's

a fake?

How did a town that was
supposedly abandoned in 1993

get built above a
layer of infrasorb 8.

Which wasn't even invented
until 20 years later.

You're absolutely
sure it's infrasorb 8?

Yeah.

And a foot thick in
every test hole I've dug.

Which means there's
something under Crystal Vista

they don't want satellite
pictures to reveal.

Look at these.

I mcorded them yesterday.

What is this supposed to be.

A secret tunnel.

I found it looking for an
old wall safe in the basement

of City Hall.

Come on, what would somebody
be hiding under a ghost town?

How about a huge
cache of weapons?

Weapons that were
supposed to have

been destroyed during
the Tri-World Arms

Reduction Treaty of 2021?

All you've got is infrasorb
8 and some photos of a tunnel.

No, no, wait a minute.

Take a look at this picture,
the old Mega-1 robot manual.

You know what this is?

Micron transponder?

Right.

I've been on this
for weeks, Annie.

I don't know.

Well, well, well.

I've got a little
present for you, chief.

Been to the ocean?
- What?

No.

Me neither.

This proves that the Centros
are firing on us with weapons

made by the Eastern Alliance.

That hunk of junk
doesn't prove anything.

Look at it!

You're too negative, Drake.

Now, that's your problem.

Am I?

Yes, way too negative.

You're a walking minus sign.

Rooney, you must have
grown up in old California

with too much sun.

Let me ask you a question.

Was your daddy rich and
your mama good-looking?

You're cruising for a
court martial, buster boy.

The Eastern Alliance
is on our side.

So they sell a few
weapons to the Centros.

We sell a few to them.

So what?

It's good business.

Stop the tours.

We're not gonna take
any crap from the Centros.

Stop the tours, please!

You still don't
get it, do you?

If we don't sell minimechs
to the Eastern Alliance,

then the North Hemi economy
is gonna go belly up.

Money, Drake.

We're talking money here.

Not we.

You.

You're talking about money.

I'm talking about
human beings, man.

Life.

Life?

Grow up, huh?

I don't understand how you got
a commission in the first place.

You don't have the
killer instinct.

Take a real long look at these
eyes and tell me what you see.

OK, all right.

Now, why don't you take a long
vacation and try new Chicago.

I understand it's nice and
windy this time of year.

You know, your little
Asian friends are gonna get

their asses shot off out there.

Then where are you gonna be?

You're off the
pilot roster, mister.

The sooner, the better.

Dismissed!

And don't go near
Wa-Lee and Sing,

if you know what's good for you.

How do you sleep
at night, Rooney?

How's your face?

I'll live.

He was cuter before
you popped him.

Shut up, Annie.

Have you met Annie?

Hello, Annie.

Hi.

Hi, handsome.

I'm Drake.

This here is my ace mechanic
Stumpy, the stumpman.

Captain Drake,
would you care to go

toe-to-toe in little shim-ku?

Shall we dance?

No thank you, general.

My feet are killing me.

Poor excuse for the year 2041!

I hear the captain was a worthy
disciple of ancient arts.

It was an elective
at the Academy.

I got a C-.

You're too modest.

I demand you honor me
with ..

Please!

We'll meet again, Captain Drake.

Yeah, we'll do tea.

Oh, I wanna
get into his uniform.

Annie, please.

If he can talk, he's mine.

Stop.

You're gonna make
yourself crazy.

Ladies and gentlemen.

He's mine.

I'll be happy to
answer any questions you

have about megarobots as we make
our way toward our destination.

Please don't hesitate to ask.

I'm here to help.

You know what I think?

Hm?

I think you really missed
the boat with that Drake guy.

Annie.

Fine, OK.

Not another word.

Thank you.

Hey, folks, this is
your pilot, Captain Boles.

I just wanted to tell you
that we're right on schedule,

and we should be pulling into
beautiful downtown Crystal

Terminal in about one hour.

So why don't you just sit
back and enjoy the ride?

You really think
he's all right?

Who?

Drake.

I thought you didn't care.

I don't.

Girl, you got it bad.

OK, forget it, forget it.

Let's just concentrate
on the Crystal Vista, OK?

OK.

Mm-hm.

And we are not gonna come
back from here empty handed.

I'm gonna find that
micron transponder,

and you are gonna
get your story.

Capisce?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh?

You got it real bad.

I guess the Centros are
taking a siesta today, sir.

Hold your tongue, mister.

My special ops are sweeping
a 40 mile corridor out there.

Let's give credit where
credit is due, huh?

What about General
Wa-Lee's request?

Oh, send him out
on the afternoon run.

Do you really think
that's a good idea

Yes I do.

I think it's a swell idea.

I think it's a capital idea.

If I didn't, I wouldn't have
suggested it, now, would I?

No, sir.

Don't think too
much, Pritchard.

It'll give you migraines.

Oh, one other thing.

General Wa-Lee's requested
Drake to be his pilot.

I don't think
that's possible, sir.

Well, are you thinking again?

No, sir.

Captain Drake, uh, volunteered
for the special ops mission

going out to the quarter.

That crazy flyboy is
out there playing cowboys

and Indians with the grunts?

Well, you know Drake, sir.

I hope he gets
his balls shot off.

What would John Wayne do?

Remember the Alamo!

Captain.

Hey, hey.

Captain.

Captain, did you see the
whites of their eyes?

Why don't you get this
off me sometime today?

Here you go.

Well, at least you didn't
wreck the megarobot.

Are you saying
I'm a Sunday driver?

No, no.

No, no, skip.

This was clearly
a drive by shoot.

Yeah.

Brought some tequila.

It have a worm in it?

No.

Forget it.

I never drink the cheap stuff.

What the hell are the
Centros doing way out here?

Oh, my.

Oh, man.

Look at this.

Little present for
the boys at the lab.

That ought to give those
nerds a bionic boner.

Where's the rescue party?

Oh, man.

You're it, Stumpy.

My hero.

Don't get too close, captain.

You got a bit of
a smell about you.

How would you like to
take a nap under that junk?

No, no, Skip.

I'm claustrophobic.

I start hearing voices
and seeing things.

You know, lizards and funny
little colored creatures.

We're gonna get you a
good bottle of tequila

when we get back to operations.

I want you to lay off that
bug juice you've been tipping.

Do you hear me?

Huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, we're
robot men, captain.

What are we doing out here
in the grit and grime, where

people can blow our ass away?

We're supposed to
be indestructible.

No shit.

Thank you.

North
Hemi Recreational Services

reminds you to observe
all rules and regulations

during your visit to this
authentic 1990s era ghost town.

The disturbance or
removal of any object

is strictly forbidden.

You may now exit the
passenger compartment.

Thank you, and have a pleasant
stay in Crystal vista.

Ladies and gentlemen, Maris
2 has completed to dock.

And if you'll please
follow me, we'll

proceed out the door, down
the ramp, into the elevator,

and to the terminal.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen,
don't forget

your tour packs at the counter.

Ah, and at this time, I'd
like to introduce your Maris

2 pilot, Captain Will Boles.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Well, I hope you'll
enjoy yourselves.

I think you'll
find Crystal Vista

to be both fascinating
and informative.

And I'll see you back here
tonight for our return home.

Have a good time.

The robot's not
waiting here for us?

Are you kidding?

They keep it going constantly.

No, they'll bring in a new
group when they pick us up.

You know, it just doesn't
make sense that North

Hemi's hiding weapons here.

If they were, they wouldn't
have all these tourists

coming and going.

I'm not asking you
to make sense of it.

Just look at what
I have to show you.

Ah, yes, Dr. Fanning and
her friend from the media.

Oh, I'm not here as
a journalist, exactly.

Just visiting my old friend.

Are you going to be
staying with the group

or going on your project
site, Dr. Fanning?

Uh, my project, but
we'll ride into town

with the rest of the
group, if that's all right.

That's fine.

Well, here you are folks,
the last surviving example

of a typical Southwestern
community from the days

when the Southwest was actually
part of the United States.

Well, as people around here used
to say in those days, ladies

and gentlemen, have a nice day.

Let's stick with the
group for a minute.

OK, but do you think
we have enough time?

Sure.

I didn't know the Centros
had anything like this.

What is it?

A satbound simulator.

It wouldn't be any
use to the Centros.

What do you mean?

Their satellites
don't use this type

of signal compression.

I'll have to run
some tests on it

before I can give you a guess as
to what they're doing with it.

All right, get right on it.

Hey, bud.

Yes, sir?

Where are those kind
of satbound simulators

manufactured?

Most of this stuff
comes out of Asia, sir.

Is this your idea of a
little R&R, Drake, Stumpy?

Skimming the desert,
looking for Trouble

How far, chief?

We didn't look for them.

They found us.

This place is
jumping with Centros.

Well, a few rotten beans
aren't gonna ruin this barrel,

Drake.

Look, sir.

What?

Something smells out there.

Skip, Skip.

Shut up.

I don't wanna hear a word.

These Centros have got a bug
in the air about something,

and before we're up
to our necks in wax,

we gotta find out what it is!

You know, Drake,
you're beginning

to get on my last nerve.

If you send Wa-Lee and his
officers into that corridor,

they're gonna get whacked, dead.

Your mood shifts didn't
figure into my plans, Drake.

General We-Lee and his staff
are already aboard Maris 2

en route to Crystal Vista.

In fact, I would
imagine, right about now,

General Wa-Lee is having
the time of his life.

Rooney.

Skip, Skip!

I think I owe you a drink.

Is this the strat-adjuster?

Yeah-- yes.

Yes, it is, general.

Why don't you hold on to
this control right here?

OpCom to Maris 2.

This is Chief Rooney.

Yes, OpCom, this is Maris 2.

General Wa-Lee,
can you hear me?

I'm right here, Chief
Rooney, having a great time.

Well, I'm glad to
hear that, general.

Captain Boles let
me drive the robot.

How am I doing?

I think you'd make
a fine robot pilot, sir.

I hope your officers
are enjoying their ride

in the passenger compartment.

Oh, they are.

Here, let me show you.

You pick up our systems
pretty quickly, general.

Oh, I'm a big, big
fan of megarobots.

Well, I'll let you continue
with your fun, general.

You're in good hands
with Captain Boles.

Thank you, Chief Rooney.

Maris 2 signing off.

Let me do it.

Yeah, you handle the robot
like a real pro, general.

I presume we're
going someplace

we're not supposed to.

OK, if we run into
a security guard,

we're looking for the
tour group, all right?

Let's start down
here, all right?

What's going on with the run?

Steady as she goes.

It's clear all the
way to Crystal Vista.

What's the ETA?

Should be docking
in about an hour.

Wa-Lee is having more fun than
a 16-year-old in a cathouse.

How's his driving?

Hit any cactus yet?

Not yet, sir.

Well, give him time.

Thank God it's not an
old fashioned freeway.

He'd be banging off of
Chevys like a pinball.

Remember those underground
tunnels I showed you?

Yeah.

I'll go first.

I know the way.

Boy, this is some vacation.

Hey, don't touch your hand.

I'm not touching my hand.

Oh, come on, get him!

Get him, you little son of a--

Oh!

Here's to the past glory
of the robot service.

To the best robot
captain in the North Hemi.

I'm out, Stumpy.

Rooney's gonna transfer me out.

Oh, he's not that stupid.

I'm nothing more
to him than Ralph

Kramden on the short line bus.

Who's Ralph Kramden?

You don't have a
megadisc, Stumpy?

He's the great one,
man, Jackie Gleason.

Here's to him.

I'll drink to that.

That bitch Leda, who the
hell does she think she is?

I don't need her, Stumpy.

I don't need this job.

And I don't need
that freaking robot.

If North Hemi cuts a deal with
the Eastern Alliance to build

the minimech series,
they'll destroy Maris 2,

just like they did Mega-1.

You weren't around back then.
How do you know?

No, no.

My grandfather and his crew
tried to hide pieces of Mega-1

before the salvagers got to it.

How the hell do
you hide a megarobot?

I guess you don't.

They got caught.

Oh my god.

Look at this.

It's the micron transponders.

From the manual I showed you.

Remember?

They were supposed to
have been destroyed

when the Mega-1 series
was scrapped for salvage,

but they're here.

Oh my god, you were right!

Now what?

I don't know.

Where does this ladder go?

Up, I suppose.

Well, could we
please climb it?

I need to get some air.

I'm starting to
feel like a mole.

You are way too sensitive.

What was that?

What?

I think we have company.

What were those noises?

I don't know.

Church mice?

In a school?

I said I don't know.

But you did hear that?

Maybe it was some
noisy tourists.

Screw this story.

Let's just get outta here.

I'll meet you back
at the terminal.

I'm not leaving without you.

Go on, get outta here.

You get crazier every year.

Go!

You've got 15 minutes,
and then I'm gonna

call the international guard.

All right, I'll
be there in 10.

Go on.

Ladies and
gentlemen, thank you

very much for your patience.

I know you had a
good time today.

We'll be ready to
board the robot

just as soon as all the incoming
passengers have been unloaded.

Hot diggity damn, this has
been a splendid demonstration.

And you, Captain Boles,
excellent robot master.

Thank you.

Yes, Crystal Vista
Terminal, this is Maris 2.

We're ready to begin
initial docking procedures.

We're running a few
minutes late, folks.

Should be any time now.

Excuse me.

I'm a little worried
about my friend, Leda.

Leda, Dr. Leda Fanning.

She hasn't been checked off.

Could we hold
the robot for her?

If she doesn't
make it in time,

she'll have to wait
for the next run.

OK, hold it.

What's going on.

They're here!

Who's here?

The Centros.

Centros?

There's no Centros--

Yeah, the whole town
is crawling with them!

What are you talking about?

They're coming, I tell you!

All right, folks,
we are ready to board.

Lieutenant.

Looks like your friend's
stuck here a few more hours.

Ladies and gentlemen, please.

What the hell's going on here?

Thank you for the
tour, but all good things

must come to an end!

Oh my god.

They're hijacking the robot.

This is mutiny, general!

Lock up all the hostages in
that passenger compartment,

and secure the town.

Hmm!

We won!

Wa-Lee, Wa-Lee,
Wa-Lee, Wa-Lee!

What the hell is going on?

Who woke me up?

Is this another one of
your migraine attacks?

What's he babbling about?

They've got the robot.

What are you
babbling about, Wa-Lee?

Have you been into
the mega juice?

In your dreams, you
lazy North Hemi slob.

While you take your
sweet Western nap,

I learned the whole
nine robot yards.

Wa-Lee, how could
you do this to me?

I treated you with respect.

Next time I bow to
you, you can kiss my ass.

Where's Boles?

I wanna talk to Captain Boles.

Boles?

He's on what you call
20th century ice.

Pritchard, find me Drake.

I think he's indisposed.

Did you say "think"?

No, sir.

Find him.

Damn!

Damn.

People are suffocating in
here, you son of a bitch!

Oh, god.

Christ.

I can't breathe.

What?

Get away from that!

We're five stories up!

Let me out!

Let me out!

You're a big embarrassment
to the North Hemi.

Have you no shame?

No, I want out!

Be my guest.

Anybody else care to leave?

No!

No.

Good answer.

Wipe that smirk off your face!

Don't step in that, Stump.

A little hair of the pooch'll
do you some good, Skip.

Drink it down, Drake.

That's an order.

What's this asshole
doing in my office?

Skip, it's Rooney's office.

And what are we doing here?

OpCom needs you.

Oh, now you need me.

You know what I need?

A real drink.

Come on, Stump.

Show me the way to
the nearest bar.

Damn it, captain, Wa-Lee
has commandeered the robot.

He's taking a slow
robot to China, is he?

He's about to take
over North Hemi.

I'm out.

Remember?

They've got Leda.

What have we got now?

Maris 2 has reached
the tomb, sir.

Is this it?

Smack dab in the
middle of the zone.

Do you have any idea where
this mag gun is, Stumpy?

Yeah, I don't know how
many of those 20th century

landmarks are still around.

Come on, Stumpy, think.

Your grandfather must
have told you something.

I don't know.

My dad told me.

I was just a kid.

Stumpy, concentrate.

Think.

I know you got some
brain cells left.

It was someplace smack in
the middle of Crystal Vista.

I remember a brick warehouse.

Tsk.

Must be long gone by now.

Maybe not.

We'll go see.

It was near the school.

I'm sure of that.

My grandpa and his crew
used to hang out there

and talk about the Mega-1.

In school?

Yeah, that's where he
built his first robot.

Let go of me!

Remember the Alamo!

Drake, Jesus Christ.

Hi, Rocky.

Did you miss me?

She missed me.

Listen, I found the
micron transponders.

They're in the school.

Grandpa's old schoolhouse.

Lead the way.

Talk to me, babe.

Come on, come on.

I got miles to go
before I sleep.

Speak English.

No, I don't
understand Centralese.

English.

Then speak up.

They now dead.

Dead?

Who is dead?

Chou-Sing dead!

Chou-Sing?

Yes.

Who killed him?

Drake.

Drake.

And a woman.

The girl, too?

Yes, Drake and woman.

What we do now?

Don't worry.

They'll find out.

There they are.

Drake's locator signal.

Yeah.

What the hell are they
doing under a schoolhouse?

There must be a hundred
tunnels down here.

The micron transponder
could be on the other side.

It wasn't too far in.

I know we heard the
same kind of rumbling

noise when we found them.

If we're lucky, the gun
could be on the other side.

How the hell are we
gonna fire it, Stumpy?

It must have a service tube
to connect the firing controls.

Let me try.

Geez!

Are you hurt bad?

It's just a scratch.

Don't worry about it.

Oh, it's like the
whole robot's still here.

Cross your fingers.

Here we go.

Sir, Maris 2 moving rapidly
towards Captain Drake's

position.

Where are we?

It's the Mega-1 cockpit.

Gun controls are
already wired in.

It's just like keeping
one arm in the brain

alive, even though you ground
up the rest of the man.

My god.

Wow.

Geez, captain, this sucker
feels like the whole kit

and caboodle is still here.

All right, activate mag
gun elevator assembly.

Leda, strap yourself
into that comseat.

Mag gun elevator assembly
loaded for transformation.

Captain, the comdeck's
trying to kick in.

Elevate the mag gun.

All right.

North Hemi operations,
this is Drake.

If you read, reply on
universal frequency.

They made it!

Hurry up, Drake.

He's in range.

Something's wrong.

No kidding!

Fix it!

I think I've got it!

Where are you going?

To engage the transformer.

Give full system
override when she locks.

No, Stumpy, don't
go down there.

You'll get your ass shot off!

Damn it!

It's coming apart.

Stumpy!

Drake, on the monitor.

Peekaboo, I kill you!

I told you we'd meet
again, Captain Drake.

Come on, baby, come on.

Stumpy, get the
hell out of there!

You're a sitting duck!

Just keep that override down!

Come on, come on!

Damn it.

Forget the gun!

The whole damn robot's intact!

Yahoo!

All right, let's do it.

Strap in, Stumpy!

No, can't be.

Impossible.

Would you look at that?

It's all there, the
whole damn megarobot.

Oh my god!

It's Mega-1!

Good work, Stumpy!

Way to go, lover boy!

OK, watch this baby dance.

You're kidding
yourself, Drake.

What are you gonna do with
that rusty old tin can?

Take out the garbage, scumbag.

Drake, my god, the hostages!

Yeah.

Fire, Drake.

What are you waiting
for, 10 paces?

Fire!

Yes, yes!

Beat it, will you?

I'm gonna be busy for
the next 40 or 50 years.

Gotcha.

Whoa, Captain.

I don't even know
your first name.

Marion.

I had to ask.