Robin-B-Hood (2006) - full transcript

It's Thongs. To win in treble

4, 8 and 3 for races 3, 4 and 8. $10,000 each bet

Thongs

Who is it?

This is Ivy

Why are you still calling me?

Where are you?

I wish I knew

Don't bother me with secular matters

Go to hell!

Same to you



If that can solve anything. I won't be a monk

You'll burn in hell!

Mind your language. Dear

It's an enhanced Siemens 304

refitted with infrared rays

The fuse is on the right, go left

It's me again

4. 8 and 3 for races 3, 4 and 8.
$10.000 each to place

I was recently enlightened

Reach for the sky with limited resources

Too many women, too little time

Going after them all is a losing game

Therefore I have decided

to focus only on the wealthy ones



The only way to get rich

is to find a rich wife

Great!

You think so too?

Move up a bit

More?

More

More?

More...

More...

More...

More... Don't!

Damn! I lost by a whisker

You'll gamble your life away

Get lost

It's opened

You should've told me earlier

Not much here

It hurts...

Relax, Mrs, Li

You must spread your legs

Relax, open up! Open them wide

What are you doing?

Can't you read?

These laxative cost $89

Forget the cheap stuff

Get Taxol

They're for chemotherapy, they cost $8,000 each

Go for these

Relax,,,

Now push. Harder...

Push harder!

OK... There we go

See for yourself, boy or girl?

We're done, We're coming down

Let's rendezvous outside Block B

B for Barcelona?

B for Boy

Smart ass! Block Boy it is

B for Boy

Act normal

How? I look like I'm pregnant

and you the Hunchback of Notre Dame

Excuse me, tell me...

Don't ask

Doctors can have humps and pot bellies

Don't discriminate against the disabled

Control,,,

Hello! Dr, Tsui?
I found two men acting suspiciously

Yes. There's an emergency?

Run!

Split up

Don't get caught,
and don't spill the beans if you do

Hey! Get out!
Sorry!

No. 3

Sorry!

I should've backed No, 9

I'm sure he'll make it

Hang in there, Dad,,,

Pardon me...

Why. Dad...

Why?

Who are you?

Who is he?

Chan

Sorry... wrong ward

I was looking for a Wong

I'm so sorry... excuse me

Sorry

Doctor...

Congratulations. Mrs. Li

The baby is healthy and cute, 2.8 K. G

Really? Let me,,, Yes

Here, look how cute he is

How's my daughter-in-law?

She's fine

Everything went smoothly

Here she is

Mani

How are you feeling? You did great!

Look! He's so handsome

Just like me Well? Does it hurt?

You must be tired. Get some rest

Get some rest

So cute...

Back to you, Dr, Lee

Mani

They're on the third floor

Let's take a look

Max., .

Remember what you promised me?

You said...

we'll go to Alaska

and get married in a white chapel

Let's go now,,,

Marry me

I'm married to Calvin

Give me the baby

You don't mean it

Listen, we're not meant for each other

Give me the baby...

I can change for you

You're coming with me anyway

Come back!

Hey, buddy!

The last race

Back No. 6, not No. 9

No. 6? Stop running, you!

That's my form guide!

Give me the baby...

Move it...

Hang on. Mani

You're hurting me

Give me Mani

Are you alright?

Max! Come back,,,

Out of the way! Stop him!

Stop him

Stop them by the elevator!

Back off!

Take it easy

Stay away! Cool it,,,

Stop all the escalators

Go away!

First you took Mani and now my son!

You're no buddy of mine

Give me the baby Go away!

Take it easy!

Calm down! Don't do this!

Mani, leave with me

We'II raise the kid

You're crazy! Give me my child

Come with me! Stop crying...

Calm down! Stand back

The baby,,, No!

Let's get out of here

Help her!

Hurry up, go,,,

Grab hold of the baby Watch out!

He's falling...

Baby,,,

Towel! Get some towels,,,

Pull me up

It's alright! They got him

Amazing!

Thanks

Go help the baby!

You dropped the drugs. Told you to leave them

There goes your Viagra!

Go... Go,,, No. 9,,,

Again! Whose bet is this?

How's the displacement?

This is for kids

I'm asking you about the displacement

Kids...

Don't worry. I'm just teasing you

I had my eye on this one

Here's my deposit, prepare the contract

Ready,,,

Go!

Got it

There!

If you can sense a hair...

Nothing can stop you

Hair? That's impossible

There's nothing. Just small change

Look!

These shark's fins are enormous

Let's beat it

I don't want to get rabies

Mommie, it's Superman!

Y oshihama abalone, Uncle! $10.000 a piece

There's more than a hundred of them

That's more like it

Come on! Come on,,,

Come on!

Player 3, dealer 7, Dealer takes all

How much?

This should be enough.

Keep the change

Why don't you use a credit card?

That's just her tip

Credit Card

I'II look around again. Wait for me at the door

OK!

That's a discount card from a sushi store

Of course I know

We'II take these as well

Keep the change!

Stop being a bad loser

Q, uit if you can't bear to lose

You're dead if you don't pay me back

I'II pay up in a second

OK!

Why put the money in the refrigerator?

Why?

That's not a refrigerator. It's a safe

But don't tell anyone

Thanks

This label is fantastic

But I've ordered something even better for you

It'II be here soon

Try this, Miss

New tissue paper with floral fragrance

Try the floral fragrance

Hands off!

Come on...

What the hell. Spooky?

What now. Hairy?

Where's the money from?

When are you going to pay up?

Hands off me!

If I win, you'll get your money

Right away!

Let's see about that

Come on...

Come on...

No

I'm too nervous

Check it for me, Hairy

Alright

Step aside!

Go...

Stop him! Don't let him get away

McDaddy!

I like talking to you

unlike your thugs

All they do is fight

K. Now why I like to borrow from you?

You have compassion. Sympathy

and a conscience

Am I right?

And you are smart. Too

I'II repay your $100,000 loan

in 100 installments. OK?

It's a deal

I hate smooth talkers

I have a living to make

Don't come over

I was just kidding, McDaddy

You think this is funny?

Don't make me jump

Go ahead

Are you serious?

Jump!

You don't want me dead. Do you?

No. But you brought it upon yourself

Get a camera and take a picture

Yes. Boss

If I die. You'II kiss your money goodbye

It won't do us any good

No. I think it's brilliant

I've got so much bad debts lately

This will show the others

Go ahead, jump

No. McDaddy

No?

Let's see...

No?

So you can read my mind?

I'm safe!

Come on! Come after me!

You!

Take this!

I'II get you, Thongs

What are you doing. Pal?

Fixing the air-conditioning
It's OK... go back in

Look, Boss! Cops!

Here they come

Go!

Thongs

Inspector Mok

Sorry. I didn't see you

You say that every time

You missed the alumni gathering

Alumni?

Nobody called me No?

No!

Grade school or high school?

Grade school

Here, you know the drill

Is this really necessary?

No need to leap off a building over a card game

I told you to quit gambling

I hate bailing you out in the middle of the night

You can't count on me much longer

I've decided to retire

Retirement? You're kidding!

You know my wife is losing her mind

and she's getting worse

Last week she grabbed someone's baby

and refused to return it

She even bit the mother's hand

She's getting worse. Understand?

If I carry on with you two

We'II all end up in jail sooner or later

Who'll take care of her then?

That was 20 years ago

You keep saying that!

I'm still responsible for what happened

What kind of father was I?

My son had high fever for 2 days

I didn't realise it was meningitis

I'm responsible for his death

We have no children. There is no hope

What else can I do?

Have another one

I can get Viagra at half price

OK?

Don't provoke him any more

Don't tell me what to do

It's time...

Straighten your shirt

Honey, you're late!

No. I'm not

You were at the top of the stairs yesterday

Now you're only on the third.
You don't love me anymore?

I'II hurry tomorrow

I love you very much

Your son

Hey! Did you pay your rent?

Of course! Ask him

They did

They're always sneaking around

What's the matter with them?

Don't hang out with them anymore

What? She knows about us?

We must do something about that

You're more capable than my Dad

I am not even fit to tie his shoelaces

He's one of the richest men in Asia

If I'm half the man he is it'd be wonderful

Dad will like you very much

I'm sure I'll like him very much too

and you, of course

Is my English getting better?

I need to grab a cigar from the car

Enjoy your dinner

Yan., .

Keep an eye on her

Stop right there!

What the hell?

What's wrong with you?

You can't come here dressed as a chicken!

Think with your head if you want to spy on me

Forget it, I want a divorce

I'm working

I know that.
You'd better not be doing this for fun

I came because Fanny told me she saw you

Who's that inside?

Obviously she's a woman

My clients are either men or women

Can I only have male clients?

Divorce me if you don't trust me

You haven't been home for months. I miss you

Why?

I was stupid enough to marry you at 18

Look at this mess

I can't breathe

Never mind. Let's divorce

I'm sorry

Sorry for what? You have done me no wrong

Just feel sorry for yourself

Go back to school if you have time

If you know any better

You won't be dressed like this

What's the key to a marriage?

Trust

Space

You're suffocating me

I want a divorce

I can't

I'm pregnant

What?

Come again?

I'm pregnant

No way! When was the last time...

You were drunk that night and forgot to put on,,,

How could you?

You should have kicked me out of bed

I am ignorant about birth control

Really!

You know how I am with kids

I don't like them. If we have a child

We'II have no more privacy

Are you sure? Have you checked?

You can't be more than 3 months pregnant

Don't waste any time

Get an abortion in Shenzhen

You can't afford to wait

I love you!

Hurry!

You can't walk to Shenzhen dressed like that

Take a bus

Go back inside...

Tell me where is Thongs

He's dead

Don't get upset. Mind your health

The usual...

Spray paint and take some pictures

Shut the door and windows while you eat. OK?

Don't be mad

Sorry about that

Hey, Thongs Stay away from him

Came to visit your father? Y es

He's a disgrace to the village. Ignore him

PAY UP!

Please move along. Lady

Easy,,,

Hurry,,,

What's going on?

Just leave my family alone

But you were in hiding. Pal

How else can we find you?

What are you doing?

Hold on tight!

I'II pay when I can

I'II kill you if you bother my family again

Help him up

What's the occasion?

Everyone is here

Twins

Look how tall you are, Ting!

Come. I brought presents

These are all for you

Take what you like

This is for you

This is for you

Here's the pillow you wanted

and your heater

This is for you. Dad

A massager to ease your back pains

Why did you come back?

I thought you were dead

Stop cursing me like that. Dad

Look at you, a punk!

You were not like this when you were born

I wanted you to be a doctor or lawyer

I sent you to the best schools

But you turned out to be a loser

I may not be a lawyer, but I'm still your son

I wanted to be a professional, too

Even the President. But I'm not cut out for it

Your mother and I

saved up every dime

to put you through school

I tried. I just can't do it

Don't be so stubborn

Me? Stubborn?

I'm doing alright, Look at me

The hell you are

What have you been doing?

Gambling!

I'm a business man

Business? What business?

Whoring and gambling? You're a crook

You're nothing but a cheat

All you want is for me to make money

Don't start...

I'm making money now

I bought you everything you wanted

What's wrong with that? I earned every penny

Money isn't everything

I want you to be an honest man

I did nothing wrong

I don't know... what have I done?
What did I do wrong?

I wonder about these things

How and where you got them from

You probably stole them!

Take them away!

Out!

Dad,,,

Here, throw this away as well

Get out!

You'd better go You're not my son

I don't have an unworthy son like you

Nobody wants to see you

Take them away!

PAY UP!

Honey!

What is it, Honey?

Is this our bedroom?

Yes. Of course.

Are you sure?

Yes. It's our bedroom

We've been robbed!

What?

There's been a burglary!

Goddamn it. Who did this?

It's OK... Honey

At least our baby is safe

I'II clean up this mess. OK?

A burglary!

Landlord

What is it, Uncle?

I heard you're retiring, Made enough already?

I have a big one for you. Interested?

I never said I'm retiring. I'll take any job

Meet for a card game, Thongs

22:00, the usual place

Don't buy a car if you can't afford it

I was just kidding

This is for your troubles
You always make me do this

Stop being agitated No

Treat yourself to a massage No!

Come on... take it No!

Be like that, you goddamn midget!

You'll be towing cars for the rest of your life

and you'II have a midget son like you!

Did you crack my refrigerator. Octopus?

Is Thongs coming? What time is it?

There's a big job, I can't decide

I feel we should,,,

Been painting again?

Must you always wear white?

Did you crack my refrigerator?

Why are you so upset? The paint is on me!

You should see what I did to those thugs

What were you saying?

We have an assignment

I can't make up my mind

I'II do anything

This is really complicated

Though we'II be paid $7 million,,,

What? What?

$7 million? $7 million? To do what?

Just hear me out,,,

Cut the crap, let's do it
Listen to me,,,

I'II do anything for $7 million
$7 million. You've got to be kidding!

Start the car,,, Mind the door!

Watch where you're going

Help me

Landlord...

Give me a hand

You don't have to come with us

I must do this myself

Why is this such a big deal?

Never mind

Just open the door for me. I'll wait down here

Nothing! I bet they wore the jewellery

Just some foreign currency left

You're kidding,,,

Where's Landlord?

Probably cracking another safe

What a small world!

What's going on?

What are you doing?

Are you mad?

Just taking him back to his grandpa

Whose grandpa?

Shut up!

What? You lied to me too?

What did you feed him?

What is it?

There's a break-in!

Uncle, it's done

Is it Lobster Bay?

Roger that

Do you know what you're doing?

We agreed no raping, looting

arson and murder

This is someone else's family feud, stay out

We take the baby to his Grandpa

All it takes is 15 minutes for a blood test

What did you feed him? Nothing

Just sedative to help him sleep

Are you crazy?

You fed sedative to a baby!

Even burglars have ethics

You taught us that. Remember?

Ethics is for reference only

We need to improvise all the time

You should've told us the job involves a baby

I told you we need to talk

but once you heard about the $7 million

you pushed me into the car

and you even congratulated me

You didn't give me a chance

No way

What are you doing?

Take him back How can you say that?

I dare you to repeat that!

Take him back!

Who supported you all these years?

Who supported you all these years?

Who taught you to pick a lock?

And who taught you to crack a safe?

What will become of you without me?

You're nothing but a loser

And you, a womanizer

I'm sorry... do you know what happened to me?

Do you have any idea?

You know my wife is nuts

And I can barely see these days

I'm going blind, Do you understand?

K. Now why I had to do this myself?

Why must I do this?

Use your imagination

Rings any bell?

I've been robbed!

Some bastards cleaned out my $3 million!

I have nothing left,,,

Who'll support me?

Will you do it?

Can you support me?

Even I get burgled

I'm supposed to be a pro, Now I have nothing!

I can manage on my own

I know I can!

I don't need your help

Landlord

Get in

Let's go home and get some sleep

If I wasn't driving this piece of shit

You'll be eating my dust

Get out of the way, asshole!

If I let you overtake me in that car

I'm a real son of a bitch

Stop this nonsense! Careful with the kid

Are you crazy? Let him pass

Hello? Uncle?

Are you there yet?

Almost. And you?

5 more minutes

Some asshole is blocking the road

We're dueling with an asshole too

Don't be late, the buyer is punctual

No problem

Be careful and lose that asshole quick

Don't worry

I'm not nicknamed King of Monza for nothing

See you there!

Boss

I just want to know if the baby is ours

The others can go to hell

Listen, only the kid!

Y es. Boss

Excuse me, sir! You were speeding

Please wait here

See? What did I tell you?

For everyone's information

my license has been revoked 3 times

Your license has been revoked?

What's that got to do with being burglars?

You need to drive the get-away car. Pal

Get ready to swap

If things go wrong, kill the others

We only want the kid

The hardware's all loaded Brilliant!

Don't suck on it, blow!

Roll down the window, sir, Thank you

Roll down the window

Thanks for your cooperation

Please open the bag

What's inside?

What's inside?

This bag? Yes

Please open it

Thank you. Open up Sure

Please cooperate. Thank you

Back up! I'm holding a gun. Damn it!

Yes. Boss

Cut the posturing!

They're running the road block

Give chase! Go...

Run for it! Go

EU to headquarters...
A black sedan just fled from us

The mini van is getting away

Send a police van after them

Why is it so dark?

You forgot the lights!

You call this driving?

Check the kid

The kid? I held onto him the whole time

Okay...

I'm stuck

Can you move?

No. Don't mind me

The cops are coming, take the kid

To where? Your place?

Are you mad? Don't let my wife see him

What then?

Just go

Hurry, the cops are coming

They're coming...

I'II get out in a few days

Take care

Go!

Control! Traffic accident in Sai Kung

Send an ambulance. Someone's hurt

and a fire truck. Over!

Please cooperate

We ran into a road block, Boss

We don't have the kid

and we can't find Uncle

I want that kid!

I want that kid!

If you can't find him

prepare for your own funeral

Y es. Boss. We'll fix it

He hasn't stopped crying

What do you want?

Just tell us

Humor him You do it

No. You do it! Hurry...

Shut up! Don't wake Landlady

What now?

What are you doing?

Put him to sleep

You'll kill him!

What else can we do?

Let's close the windows

Close the other one

What the hell do you want?

Hey! What are you doing?

He's fine, I left breathing space

Where's your common sense?

You'll kill him. He's just a baby

He'll be fine. I just want to muffle his noise

How can he be fine?

Hey, it works!

Carry on

It's working...

Keep it up... Yes!

Having fun? K. Eep it up!

Try something else. You're getting boring

Now try another trick

You didn't lock the door

What a surprise, Landlady!

Landlady?

I heard a baby's cry

Just doing the laundry,,,

Where's the baby?

No No?

Bite your tongue!

Where's my baby?

Don't you bully him

There's your baby

What a sucker!

Where's my Honey?

Where is he?

Landlord?

Where's my Honey?

Where is he?

He's gone to eat fondue

What kind of fondue? Where?

Shenzhen

For how long?
A month... no. A week

A week?

That'II kill him

Stop! Landlady...

Baby! Landlady!

Landlord is having fondue

for a day only. Not a week

He's there to close a deal

A big one. He'II be back soon

Yes... I think he told me

That's right...

Look! It's filthy! I'II clean up

I'II do it

It'II attract cockroaches, I know

And here,,,

I'II do it I'II do it

It's getting late

You should go to bed

Clean up this mess

Sure. We'II clean the whole place up

Don't forget your laundry Bye

Where's the kid?

Damn! It won't stop!

Pull the plug!

Please don't cry! I'm begging you,,,

I'II offer you a sacrifice

Damn! Forgot to light it

This thing...

Chicken,,, it's great

Please don't cry,,,
Babies don't eat chicken

Please stop crying, Pity my ear-drums!

Have some chicken!

I'II knock him out with this

Let's give him a beer

He'll sleep better drunk

Drumstick,,,

Twinkle. Twinkle little star

How I wonder what you are

It's working!

Cut it out!

Keep singing

Sing anything. Hurry!

Hurry,,,

Fatso marries an expensive wife

We sharks are circling him left and right

With interest multiplying day by day

Our future has never looked so bright

You call that a song?

Then you do it

Wait! Let me strike my Elvis pose

Your mother re-married

a bearded fellow

with a scar on his butt

I love you. Ioving you,,,

like bees attracted to honey

No matter what happens

I will always love you

We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas

And a Happy New Y ear

And a Happy New Year

One little, two little. Three little Indians

Four little, five little. Six little Indians

Seven little. Eight little.
Nine little Indians,,,

This is local news at top of the hour,,,

There's a break-in at Tycoon Li's Peak mansion

Excuse me, officer

I need a favor,,,

I have a request

Hello?

Turn on the TV. Thongs

Now!

Thanks

According to the latest financial reports...

The Li family's net worth
is well over $50 billion

See that? He's not just a mongrel

He's a pedigree poodle

It's not regular price anymore

I'II jack it up when I get out

How long will it take?

A week at the most

I'm charged with dangerous driving

2 weeks tops

What? Who'll look after him?

No one except you, understand?

Wait till I get out

Bye-bye!

A week! My God,,,

It's not on!

Q, uiet...

Again?

What now?

Are you out of your mind?

What are you doing?

It stinks!

I don't believe this

He didn't even have much to eat

Don't shove it to me! There's shit everywhere

Eat this. Come on...

Y eah, good boy...

Baby! Baby!

Don't feed him just anything

How old is he?

How old? Yes!

How old?

5 to 6 months, I can tell

Who's the father?

He is

I see...

I know your kind

Y es. That's what we are

Don't worry. I have nothing against your kind

But men are so careless

Not this!

This is for 3 year-olds

No. This one doesn't have DHA

This is extra large!

His pee will leak from the side

No!

This is for breast enlargement

I need that, he wants a better feel

Don't complicate matters, just hurry!

Life is complicated

You are what you eat

What you feed and teach stay with him for life

You must take this seriously

Let me give you a lesson

I'II show you

Enough! Just hurry!

Whose napkins are these?

Napkins?

One with wings and one without,,,

One for day, one for night, which is it?

I want night time with no wings

Day time with wings for me

Just hurry,,,

Ready? Yes!

Drink this!

Is it too thick?

This is it

Hurry

Thanks!

We'II each take a class

Alright!

Thanks

Over there. Sir!

Help me please!

1., . 2., . 3

Sit down and relax

I don't get it. Can you show me again?

Carry on

Go home and teach your wife

Keep your back straight

Tighten your thighs and buttocks

Straighten the back? Y es

Is this straight enough?

Look! It's straight...

Keep it flat and straight

He's so cute! Yes!

How old is he?

A few months. I think

A few months? He's big

Where's his mother?

At work

You look after him alone?

That's wonderful!

So cute and loveable

We could have caught a taxi if you'd hurried

Shut up. Alright?

What a coincidence!

You just got off?

No. I work at the hospital

This is just part time

Chatting her up?

She was our instructor

What a cute baby!

Excuse me!

Where are you?

I'm with your Mom

Really? Put her on

What?

I can't hear you, Call me back

Hello? Hello!

Bitch!

Thank you...

Do stay in touch,,,

Bye-bye

You're not local?

I'm from Shaanxi

A student nurse on exchange

Dad had a stroke!

What?

He's in the hospital

Is it serious?

He's out of intensive care

I'II drop by after work

Hurry! Y es...

Where do you work?

Me?

This is my stop, talk to you later

Let's go!

I'm charged with running a road block.
Resisting arrest

and dangerous driving

They're refusing bail

But the lawyer said I'II be out next week

Next week?

Keep feeding the pedigree poodle

We're supposed to feed him well

And don't hand him over to anyone

Where is the poodle?

Oh my God!

It's the wrong bus!

Sorry...

Picture perfect! Give me a kiss!

It's your fault!

Are you alright?

Thanks

Don't hold him like that

Careful with his arm!

You're just plain negligent!

Leaving him behind on the bus

Can you help me?

Octopus!

I don't believe this!

How can he miss out by a whisker?

I should have known better

I lose money on him every time

I do the dishes, you take a bath

Let's take a bath together, OK?

I'm rich!

I've won. At last

Isn't it fun?

Hey!

Can you believe this?

Thanks so much. Melody

If not for you

We wouldn't know what to do with him

Octopus and I are grateful

Actually. I'm very grateful...

So that's how he was revived

Yan...

Did you do what I told you to do?

You don't have to go if you're busy

Should I call her?

Was I too harsh?

This is Yan, I can't come to the phone right now

Leave a message at the beep

Alan!

Long time no see, Thongs

Your baby?

Hey, stop it!

Carry on,,,

Come...

Be a good boy!

Don't do that!

Thongs. What's your game?

Get out if you're not playing!

Don't bring a kid in here!

Get lost!

Life is complicated. You are what you eat

What you feed and teach stay with him for life

You must take this seriously

Thongs. Are you in or not?

Go home and babysit!

Get lost!

I'm not playing

Loser!

Cleaned out already?

No. He was crying too much

Yes. That's a good boy

How about just one bet?

Just one?

No more gambling

I quit., .

You're worse than my Dad!

I really don't know

I've been calling Landlord all night

I'm a man of my word

I'II fix it for you

I just want the boy!

Let me out...

Is this a joke?

Landlord has 2 partners in crime

Thongs and Octopus

Let me out!

Thongs and Octopus

I don't care what you do, find them

I found them. Boss. They're inside
Very good! Now we change the diaper

Are you Thongs?

Give me the baby

What baby? Don't play dumb

I don't know any Uncles

Don't play dumb with me

What is it?

They're looking for Baby

My name is Baby, looking for me?

Damn! You're asking for it!

Go!

What's the matter with you?

Nothing. I just over jumped

What did they say?

Who cares? Let's go

Remember? Yes

Ring the bell. When he opens the door,,,

I'II splash the paint on your cue

Let him have it!

Yes

Wait!

Thongs. Don't hide behind women and babies

I won't spare you!

I don't understand a word you're saying

Thongs is my buddy

He's not here right now. Come back later

No problem. We'II wait for him inside

He's my kid brother

Nice to meet you

There's no one here

Fanny, I'm scared

Is it worse than abortion?

Ask him about the future?

Confront him with the ultrasound

Be good

Who are you looking for?

Octopus

He is not here, come back later

You'd better come in first

Thongs

Make sure the baby is home

What's that look on your face?

Toothache

Why is Octopus off in such a hurry?

He needs to use the toilet

You live here? Y es

I love to come up for a chat

Steve!

Octopus! Thongs,,,

You've finally shown up!

I'm tired of leaving messages on you voicemail

Leave! I'll tend to you later

Come here,,,

Where's the baby?

In your room. Who are they?

Decorators

My flat is a mess

What's with the paint?

We're renovating, just trying out the colors

What is it, Yan?

Oh. No!

Talk to the officer

What is it, Miss?

Thongs...

The police can help you with any problem

There's a cop in there! Go to the roof

Sit down and tell me your problem

Meet my good friend

Inspector Steve Mok

He's my... cousin

He's my... other cousin

We came to show him...

the color sample

Your face,,,

I'm into body art

What's with all the baby stuff?

You know my pal Octopus,,,

He's a born womanizer

He got someone pregnant

Can't do much about that

Where is he now?

In the toilet

I need to go too

You do?

I'm investigating a break-in

K. Now anything about it?

I've quit long time ago

Octopus. Inspector wants to have a word

Hurry up

Octopus...

What took you so long?

You're here?

Your turn

Not after him, it stinks in there

You have a friend in there

Friend?

He's my cousin too

I'm the eldest

Then let's reminisce

Never met each other?

Of course they have

Take care of this, Octopus

Why are you still here? I want a divorce!

What the hell is this?

Never mind. I want a divorce

You...

And you,,,

It sounds complicated

Yes. Very complicated

Thongs. We've been friends for so long

I didn't know you have cousins of different races

My Dad was a sailor,,,

He must have stopped in India

That'II make him your brother

That's not right

Maybe the sailor was his Grandpa

Or his mother's father

What's the matter with you?

What's wrong?

I have occasional

muscle spasms

Muscle spasms?

Well?

Cramps,,,

You're probably possessed! Give me a hand

Baby,,,

Hold on...

Help me. Thongs!

Give us a hand!

I'd like to...

I can use my mouth

Catch! Beat it!

You won't get away with this!

You have a lot of nerve. Thongs

Hurry up!

Oh no!

They're inside. Go get them!

Mind your head!

You're so greedy

Listen to me, Steve

You can confess at the station

I'II turn myself in afterwards

Who'd believe you?

Are you alright?

Just worry about yourself!

Don't hit my head

Thongs!

Stay back!

Should have listened to me

I'II get you, Thongs!

Octopus! Run!

Come back!

Alright...

Get up! After the truck!

Stop!

Stop!

Police! I need to use your bike!

Go...

What? It's not mine

I'm on learner's permit

I'II ask the Commissioner

to grant you a proper license! Go!

Really? Yes!

Mind if I ask,,,

What did you use to drive?

I'm just a video gamer!

Shit!

Someone is tailing us

Looks like a robber to me

In broad daylight? Now what?

Don't worry. Call Headquarters

Ask for back up

Come in. Headquarters...

This is 3321. Daniel calling

Suspected robbery in progress!

Stop the car. Kid!

Who are you calling a kid?

I can tell that you're a thief!

Having serious fun? I'II...

Ram your butt!

Move closer... Easy. Slow down a bit,,,

What? Another one?

On a motorbike?

Stop the car! Stop

He's cute!

Hop over!

The Commissioner will be in touch

Bye!

That way! After him!

Free the pushchair!

Do you think I'm sunbathing?

Almost there!

Move closer...

Stop! Turn...

Turn,,, ram him!

Thank God!

Watch out!

You call yourself a driver?

Thank God! That was close

Everything's fine

Back up was quick!

Thanks to you

Where are you from?

I'm from Broke Broke Mountain!

I'm a cop, kid

I need to use your bike

You're nuts

I dare you to say that again

Everything is taken care of, keep in touch

Thanks

This is Octopus, if you need me,,,

Leave a message after the tone

IOU

Let's pay off Thongs' debts

Don't worry. Dad. Here's my contribution

What happened to you? Uncle,,,

You've turned into an ice-lolly

Boss, I can explain,,,

We're men of honour...

We never renege

We always keep our word

Never break a promise

One for all, and...

All for you!

$30 millions

Thirty... Million,,,

That's my offer, take it or leave it

Money is nothing between you and me

Whatever you say

Who is it?

It's me

You're home!

Who's the kid? He's crying like crazy

Check him out for me

Well?

You need to change him and he's running a fever

Fever? Yes!

What shall I do? Take him to a doctor

Take him to a doctor?

Hurry!

Landlord?

I'm free

Thank God for that

Where are you now?

On my way to the hospital

Hospital? What happened?

The baby is sick

Tell Octopus to meet us there

Thongs?

Be careful. Dad

What happened?

I called you about Dad's stroke

You're too busy to care

I'm sorry. Dad

Take good care of Dad

Are you alright?

The fever broke

The doctor said he'II be fine

Thanks

You don't have to worry

I...

You don't have to explain

No matter what

You saved his life

Wait here, I'II get his prescription

Thanks

It's OK.

There you are, Thongs

Don't do anything stupid

There's a baby,,,

Watch the baby!

I have a baby too

Let go

You let go

Together on a count to three

1, 2.3

Don't cry

About the loan,,,

I'm not in the mood for that

But you grabbed me...

Just occupational reflex

What's wrong with your baby?

Measles. He won't drink his milk

Boil some carrots

water chestnuts and barley

Give him the juice

What?

Just tell his mother to make it

His mother? She ran off

What about his mother,,,

His mother?

Gone as well

Where did you get his clothes?

Anywhere

$80 at the convenient store, 10% off

$72?

A further 10% off with a discount card

That's $64. 80

Do you have a discount card?

Here, take mine

I'II forfeit today's interest

But I'II start chasing tomorrow

Come on!

Just doing my job

Thongs

Landlord

Here's my million dollar poodle

Let's get a suite and talk

Hurry,,,

Now that you're here. Let's talk

Do you know how much more

I have bargained for you for this poodle?

I give you 3 guesses

$30 millions

$30 millions!

This $5 millions is just the deposit

We deliver in 3 hours

and we get $25 millions more!
It's too good to be true

Give him this glucose later

It's not necessary, now that his fever broke

What?

You two have become nannies now?

It can't be

What is this?

3 Ferraris

What are you thinking?

Your own casino. Bigger than Monte Carlo

Come on!

Give us a chance

No matter what you want

We'II do it

Just don't hurt our baby

There's nothing to watch on TV

You think she'II recognize him?

You're worried she'II recognize the baby?

This baby is barely,,,

I need some fresh air

One of 100 a day

They all look the same

Everyone says he takes after his father.
I disagree

She won't be able to tell, understand?

We offer specialty sashimi

Yellow tail, salmon and cuttlefish

Give it a try, it's only $60

Come on in. Thank you

Please come in

Specialty sashimi including salmon

yellow tail, sweet shrimp, all for $60

Come in

Hey,,, Miss

You have to speak louder

Louder!

Special promotion for 2006

Specialty sashimi

including sweet shrimp. Yellow tail. Salmon...

and cuttlefish, only $60

Please come in

Special promotion for 2006

Darling...

I'm sorry

I don't deserve to be your husband...

So long, .,

Here you are. Madam

Honey!

Darling!

Silly. Why the tears?

You called from a hospital. What's going on?

Are you okay? I'm fine. Dear

What happened to your glasses?

I got run over by a bike on my way here

and cracked the lenses

Get me a new pair tomorrow

Good girl

Now close your eyes. I have something for you

No peeking

Take a step back...

Honey, here's something you'II cherish

Ready,,,

Lower your arm

Right. Now the other one

Now open your eyes

Not so loud. You'II scare him

Baby,,,

Mommie missed you

Honey,,,

Have I been a burden to you?

Don't be silly

You made me very happy

You're my most precious darling

Not so loud. You're waking him

Good baby

I'm returning him tomorrow

I have sorted out the baby formula

So nice to be a baby

Eat, sleep. Drink and shit

So happy

and without a care in the world

Right?

Right!

Why do you trust me? You know I'm a burglar

still you made friends with me

Actually...

The first time I saw you

I knew you have a conscience

If you have a chance to start over

Will you still be a burglar?

It's too late for that now

You can start from this very second

It's never too late

Look at me

Look me in the eye

I've faith in you

It's Mommie

Daddy,,, Cut it out!

Mommie

Daddy,,,

Daddy,,,

Do you know his name?

Why do you want to know?

Just curious at what will happen

What do you think will happen to him?

I got the money

Bring the kid

Someone will fetch you in 5 minutes

Wait here!

Open the gate!

Where is he? Give me the baby!

Thirty... Million,,,

Give me the baby

Listen...

Feed him milk every 4 hours

Check the temperature with the back of your hand

or you'II scald him. Understand?

Also, everyday at noon,,,

He needs his orange juice. Get it?

He chokes easily since he has no teeth

even crushed fruits will choke him

If you feed him solid food. You must chew,,,

Don't be such a nag

Also

Hold him with your left arm or he'II cry

Give him congee in the afternoon

Chop up some lean pork, finely diced

Not too cold. Not too hot

Serve in two separate bowls

Okay. Okay. Just hand him over

Alright

Be careful I will

Here, take this bottle too

The temperature is right I got it...

Don't rock him too hard

It's time to feed him Enough

I wonder if he'll survive the night

What are you staring at?

Get lost

Come on. Let's go

What are you doing?

Don't worry

They have doctors and nurses, he'II be fine

It's just family squabbles

They're taking take him to his Grandpa

Think about your Ferrari and your casino

Come on!

Come on!

Get the car ready Yes!

Finished?

Let's go

Take him upstairs

Daddy

Mommie

Daddy's coming!

Mommie's coming!

Get the kid!

Give me the baby! It's not our fault,,,

I know. Hand me the baby...

Good boy

Landlord!

Wait for us!

He took off!

Open up!

Give me the baby!

Turn on the machine

Hurry! Send someone to the ferris wheel

Yes. Sir!

Oh my God!

Baby!

Baby!

Where are you. Baby?

Mommie

Don't move. I'm coming up!

Mommie

Stay right there...

I'm here

Baby!

Baby!

Daddy

It's not funny!

Great job. Thongs! You deserve a kiss!

Don't hurt the baby. Morons!

Daddy!

Run, Daddy!

Hurry up and get in!

Isn't it fun?

Then let's continue

Get the kid!

Send the other train!

Don't worry

I'II get it back for you

Thongs!

I only want the boy!

Come out...

or I'll drop him!

We all die sooner or later

It's a matter of going in style

Take the baby and go, Don't mind me!

I doubt if he'll drop me

Thongs! On the count to 10...

and I'll let go

1, 2,,,

6, 7,,,

What?

What about 3 to 5?

8, 9,10!

Stop!

Stop!

Get the baby! Yes!

Who the hell invented free fall machines?

Master

What a cute baby

Give me a big smile,,,

You're my grandson

Don't cry. Mommie's here

Daddy's here...

Mommie's here

Daddy's here... Mommie's here

Hold him with your left arm or he'II cry

Not bad

I understand why

you're giving up your reward

But I'm keeping this baby

You should go if you want to stay alive

Give me a smile

You're my grandson, understand?

Alright...

As soon as we get the result

The 3 of us are going to Brazil

Who are you?

I only want the baby

Nothing else matters

It's awful to separate him from his mom

Awful?

What about my dead son?

Max lost his mother when he was a child

I promised him his own amusement park

It's finished now

I also promised him a race track

But it's only half complete

and that bitch killed him

I already lost a son

I'm not going to lose my grandson

This child,,,

is my only hope for living

If you feel this way. Think about his mother

She must be feeling the same

Why must you separate them?

What if he's not your grandson?

What'll happen then?

The lab report, Master

You can go

What's going on?

What is he doing?

I'm not really sure

I found the boy

But he's not your son

Don't do this, Master

Prepare the medication

Mind your health, sir

Watch him

Take the kid with you

Easy,,, Don't shut the door!

Let him keep you company

Be careful. Master

Give him a hand

Where's the baby?

Give us the baby!

I want my baby

Don't! Take your money and leave

I'm turning this place into an ice palace!

A big one

A gigantic ice palace Master

Gigantic ice palace

A gigantic ice palace

What's the matter with you?

See for yourself

You're useless

That was quick!

You saw them?

Yes. I saw them both...

Why are you still here?

Throw them out!

Can you do this?

Thank God

Round and round and round he goes!

Goddamn baldie!

Octopus. The baby hasn't cried for a while

I'm aware of it!

Baldie,,,

I hate bald heads

It's fresh

Baby!

Octopus!

Baby,,,

Baby!

Baby,,,

How is he? Take off your jacket

Baby, hang in there!

You'll be alright

Baby,,,

Go!

Put it on!

Baby,,,

Catch!

Turn it up

Gorge yourself!

Feed them something extra

See if you can open the door

There's no key hole to pick...

It can't be opened from inside

Thongs!

Octopus?

Are you alright, Thongs?

Open the door!

Only the Master knows the combination

What? Only he can open it?

You saw him, He has gone mad

You're on. Landlord, Do your stuff

How? It's a Swiss computerized mechanical lock

8 layers with over 4 million combinations

Same kind used by the C IA

Save your breath. Open it while I call the cops

Run for it,,,

Stop!

Hey, come back!

Be quiet!

Freeze!

The machines are too loud

Turn off the machines

and the refrigerator

Unplug the refrigerator

and the air conditioning

K. Ill the air conditioning

Everybody, hold your breath

What?

Hold your breath!

Silence!

Well? Is it open?

Why doesn't the door pop open?

Pops open?

Don't touch it!

Why doesn't it pop open?

Because of this?

It has nothing to do with something so intricate

Damn...

It's opened!

What took you so long?

Save the baby

Save him... How is he?

Save the baby

You promised me reduced sentence

Alright...

The car!

Don't die on me!

The car,,,

Hot-wired it!

Don't scare me. Baby...

Come get your milk

Baby!

Wake up for milk

Mommie's here. Don't be afraid

Don't be afraid...

Baby,,,

Don't die on me

Come drink your milk, Wake up!

Wake up!

Wake up, Baby

Pop the hood. Use the engine

Engine, ., in the back!

1. 2!

3!

1. 2, 3!

Wake up,,,

One more time!

1, 2,3!

Take them away

Bring your men and block the exits

Don't let anyone through

Yes. Sir!

Baby,,,

Come back!

Never mind

Hurry, please,,,

Pulse rate 80 BPM

Max

This is the police!

Max. Come home

I want to play with you,,,

Just calm down! Max...

Sorry. Honey! Take care of yourself

I thought money was important, but I was wrong

If there's reincarnation...

I still want you for my wife

We'II have 10 kids. OK?

I love you

While I'm in jail

I missed you every single second

I now know how awful you must have felt

when I was wild and unruly

I'm really sorry

If I have the chance to start over,,,

I'II cherish you more

All I did was gamble

and caused you a lot of trouble

I've been dealt a lousy hand

I thought if I had money

I'II earn respect and own the world

Now I've learnt my lesson

at the expense of my beloved family

I'm sorry. Dad

Goodbye

We'II have lots of kids and play in the garden

All of us will

race each other

May the Lord forgive your sins

In the name of the Father. The Son and the Holy
Ghost. Amen

We'II have our own children

We play in the backyard

while you make dinner,,,

And do our laundry

Fire!

The government policy back then

was very strict with the death penalty

It was only used on

convicts who have committed serious crimes

What you have just witnessed

are different forms of the death penalty

I'm sure you now have a better understanding

Let's have another round of applause

for our inmates who gave us the demonstration

Well done!

Thank you!

Please help yourselves to the refreshments

Hi there!

How are you, Landlady?

You were great, Thongs

Where's Dad?

You did a great job. Honey

I was so scared

It wasn't real. Silly

What about the I love you part?

Of course that's for real

Honey,,, I have adopted 10 kids

From South Africa, the Middle East. Germany,,,

Anyone from Cameroon?

Let me see...

I'm so happy

Don't over exert yourself. You're pregnant

Let me carry that...

Don't frown. It's bad for the baby

Speak for yourself

The doctor said the baby is doing great

I almost forgot my appointment

With a man or a woman?

My clients are either men or women

I can only meet with women?

No

Space. Remember?

Yes...

I have plenty of space here

Alright...

Thanks for coming

Thanks for taking care of my Dad

How are you getting along?

There's nothing to it. It's not my first time

But I promise you it'II be my last

Why are you making promises to me?

I...

I promise my Dad

Thongs

Inspector

You have to thank your lucky stars

The Justice Department may put you on parole

Thanks Thanks

Look who's here to see you

Baby

Baby!

Baby,,,

Over here... Go on

Give me a hug

Mommie

It's been a long time

Sorry we didn't have a chance to apologize

We're really very sorry

We know. If it hadn't been for you

Our baby could have died

I wonder if they'II be interested

About what?

About working for us

What?

You'll be in charge of security

You can be the bodyguard

You can the chauffeur

I'm perfect for the job

Driving sports cars has to be my pet project

Are you interested?

Absolutely...

We'II wait for your discharge. Then

Our Open Day is over

Time to return to your cell

Baby,,,

Yes?

Mrs, Li

We don't even know his name

It's Matthew

K. A Sing

Li K. A Sing?

So long!

Blindfold me, I can't bear to watch

How's Jackie?

Is he alright?

Bring me a towel

It hurts!

One more time

I get to keep this?

Action!

Help him up

The spine...

You should go for an X-ray

Bring the car

Bring the mattresses here

What are you doing over there?

Come on... over here

Over here

Careful,,,

Careful

Leave your card with my PA

She'll save you the best seat

When's the press conference?

I can't hear a word you're saying

Apply more honey

More

Stop. I can't stand this!

Thongs!

Steve, I didn't see you

You say that every time

You missed the alumni gathering

Nobody called me

Are you sure?

Grade school or college?

It's supposed to be High School!

Stop fluffing your line!

It was a one-take!

Do you know how scary it was up there?

I now have to do it all over again!

I'II wring your neck for this!