Revenge of the Cheerleaders (1976) - full transcript

The tale of the Aloha Cheerleaders' struggle against Lincoln high. High points include such events as the Aloha girls raiding a Lincoln classroom to get drugs, then putting aforementioned drugs in the cafeteria food while the state school inspectors are present. Worth the rental price just so if you ever meet David Hasselhoff, you can say "Hey, I loved your work as Boner!" is deprecated, please
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♪ There's a feeling that I'm feeling ♪

♪ And it makes me wanna go for a ride ♪

♪ Gotta shout, get out

♪ All the happiness I'm feeling inside ♪

♪ Misdemeanors, screamers

♪ And healthiness is giving you more ♪

♪ Once we got it, love it

♪ That's the reason why we know how to score ♪

♪ Yeah

♪ Oh, oh

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ I feel good, I feel good

♪ I feel good, I feel good

♪ I feel good, I feel good

♪ I feel good, I feel good

♪ I feel good, I feel good

♪ I feel good, I feel good

♪ I feel good, yeah, I feel good ♪

♪ I feel good, I feel good

♪ I feel good, I feel good

♪ Baby, I feel good, I feel good ♪

♪ I feel good

- Let's all go, take it into her room!

- In the lab! - Go in the lab, yeah!

- Please get out of the way!

Out, out! - Come on.

- Will you please move?

- Oh help me, class, class, class, class, class.

- Will you please remove your body--

- Will you please remove your--

- Barbara, I think he's late for plumbing class.

- Okay, darling.

- Get your hands off of me! - Don't touch her.

- I'm going right now.

- Oh good. - Plumbing class?

- Oh, honestly. - I love it.

- I'm ready, get rid of him. - That's true.

- Oh, excuse me, hey. - Oh, no.

- I just got back from plumbing class.

- How exciting.

- If you ever need a good plumber, here's my card.

- Oh!

- Oh my God!

Oh, Joanne, clean it up!

Clean it up!

Oh, what a mess!

Get away, you savage!

- What a mess! - Bleh!

- Hey, what do you wanna do now?

- Get laid!

- One, two, three!

- Get laid!

- Five, six!

Five, six, seven!

- Give me an A!



What's it spell?


- Yeah, let's get laid, baby!

- Get laid!

- All right!

- All right, let's do it!

- V-I, V-I, V-I-C-T!

T-O, T-O, T-O-R-Y!

V-I-C-T, T-O-R-Y!



- Well, here comes the crab squad.

- Oh, get out the flag, it's VD day.

When pores become clogged,

it's a perfecto gathering place for dirt.

- Don't worry, Barb.

Things are just about to be flushed clean.



- Wow, we hit the paper!

School Board Fears Merger With Lincoln Vocational?

- Morality Crisis Shatters Aloha High School.

- Merger, wow.

- What are you looking at?

- School board President Hartlander announced today

that it is with great reluctance we must face a possibility

of a merger with Lincoln Vocational Bees.

There's more.

It may be the only way to halt Aloha's reign of terror.

- Yeah, we know what's going on.

- I'm not going to that chamber of horror.

I don't care who we merge with.

- Right on.

- There's some bees over there.

I've already merged.

- We can't have that baby laugh, can we?

- Check out Miss Black America.

- No, more like Queen of the Jungle.


- Oh!

- Pray for the full moon, you guys!

- Right on.

- See you chickies later.

- Bye.

- Hi girls, fixing up?

- Hi, Beam.

- Hello, Beam.

- Move over.

You girls see the morning papers?

- How's that?

- What's that you're doing?

- Powdering my nose.

Can't have a shiny nose.

- Oh yeah, I didn't know that.

- Leslie, don't waste water.

You don't have an ecology-minded bone in your body.

What is that?

- Oh, hi, Leslie.

Ms. Beam. - High protein breakfast?

- My mom's too busy to cook.

- Boner, get out of here!

This is the girls' room!

- See you girls for lunch. - Bye, Boner.

- Dinner.

- Boner's got a heart as big as all outdoors!

- All right, I've had enough!

Let's go, while you girls are still around.

- Can I borrow your powder, Beam?

Can't have shiny tits.

- Leslie, that's a pink card.

Come with me.

- Leave me alone!

- Beam.

- Fuck off!

- Why I declare!

- Nurse Beam, please report

to Dr. Ivory's office immediately.

Nurse Beam, on the double.

Aloha High School, good morning.

- Morning, Ms. Watson.

- Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

The principal can't possibly talk to you now.

Well, gee, I'd like to slip you in,

but Dr. Ivory is preparing the menu for the week.

- A subtle sauce can turn simple fare

into a festive dish.

Let's begin.

Sift two cups of flour.

- Whew!

- Be careful.

Gently add eight egg whites and using twice

as much butter as flour.

- Heather, drop what you're doing.

Separate the two eggs.

- Into what? - Into what?


- Remember, the well-beaten whites

should be stiff, but still moist.

- Yes!

- Sorry to interrupt, Dr. Ivory,

but it's Mr. Hartlander from the school board.

- Oh?

Put him on!

- Well, how's the situation there, Ivory?

Still learning children's sit policy?

- Everything you taught me, sir.

- Well, that's good, good, Ivory.

Because an investigating committee from the state board

of education's gonna drop in to take a firsthand look

into this morality crisis situation.

- The what?

- The morality crisis situation, Ivory.

Haven't you seen the papers?

- Poppycock, poppycock!

- Look, they're talking about this goddamn merger

with Lincoln Vocational again.

- Good. - Now listen, Ivory.

I don't want any trouble.

- Peel and chop two onions.

- That's beautiful, Heather.

You paint beautifully.

- Ivory. - Thanks.

I always enjoy being here, Dr. Ivory.

- You're a good egg yourself.

- Ivory?

Ivory, are you listening to me?

- Now the milk, the cow's milk to the cook!

The white-- - Ivory.

- Oh, we're out of milk, Dr. Ivory.

- What do you mean you're out of milk?

I mean, run out and get some.

- Prior to the placing of the crisp souffle dish

in the oven, remember to pour the milk.

- Yes, what is it?

- Doctor, Nurse Beam is here.

Oh, and are my french fries ready?

- Eyes working, and they're in!

- And now the bird is ready for basting.

Do not burst or break the turkey or fat will run from--

- Here's the alcohol, Dr. Ivory.

Ready for your rubdown.

- Good, good, but there's no time now.

No time now, baby.

- Dr. Ivory, nothing to worry about.


Your sample's negative.

- Good, good, I feel great.

- Ready the chicken.

- Chicken coming up.

Get the chicken, will you?

- The turkey must be gently bathed

and the rear cavity prepared to receive the chicken.

- Not that, not that chicken.

The oven!

- Open the cognac.

- Pour the cognac over the bird.

Pour the cognac over the bird.

Pour the cognac over the bird.

Pour the cognac over the bird.

Pour the cognac over the bird.

Pour the cognac over the bird.

Pour the cognac over the bird.

Pour the cognac over the bird.

- Hey Lilly, a tub of malted and two pizza burgers.

Hold the bun.

- Hold your own, Miss.

- I'll have the same, Lil.

- I'll have a lemonade and a...

- And an eclair for my dear.

- Pick up.

- Hi, Jordan. - Hi, there.

- I'll have a vanilla, a double dip on a sugar cone.

- Hello, is anyone home?


- Jordan.

- I'll be right back, honest.

- Hello, Jordan.

- Oh, hello, Mrs. Watson.

- I think I'm gonna live dangerously today

and have a luscious banana split.

- Yes, Ma'am, how would you like it?

- I'll have it with buttered almond and pineapple coconut.

- Yes, Ma'am.

- Jordan, you're very nice.

You're very handsome too. - Yes, ma'am.

- My, it's good to see one young man

working after school these days.

- Yes, Ma'am.

- You certainly seem

to enjoy your work, Jordan.

- Yes, Ma'am.

- Most kids just squander their time away.

When I was a girl, it was different.

You had to work just to make ends meet.

Do you know what I mean, Jordan?

- Yes, Ma'am.

- Oh, spread some more nuts, please.

Oh, that split.

It does look splendid.



Oh, Jordan!


- Look what the warden let out.

- Check out the bells from St. Mary's.

- Yeah, and the bells got the clapper.

- You girls forget your madam?

Up your middle class ass!

- Here comes cactus crotch.

- You bees lose your honey?

- Shove it, pussy willow!

- When you feel your qualified, horse face, look me up.

- This yours?

Real sweet, isn't it?

- Yeah.

You ladies may be the Queens of Aloha today,

but tomorrow you're gonna be the slaves of Lincoln.

♪ Woo-Ooh, come on, everybody

♪ Time to get on into that groove ♪

♪ Get down, let's party

♪ Whoo

♪ Come on now

♪ Yeah

♪ Whoo

♪ Let's do it then

♪ Right on to the bone, get on, get on ♪

♪ Lord have mercy

♪ Everybody

♪ Hey, come to the party

♪ Yeah

♪ Everybody, yeah

♪ Come to the party

♪ Everybody, yeah

♪ Come to the party, get down

♪ Over here

♪ Let's do it again

♪ Come on, yeah

♪ Let's get it, let's get with it ♪

♪ Come on, do it to me, yeah

♪ Whoo

♪ Man up to get down

♪ Don't slow your roll

♪ Everybody

♪ Lord have mercy

♪ Come to the party

♪ Everybody

♪ Come to the party, yeah

♪ Everybody, hey, hey

♪ Let's get funky now

♪ Whoo-Ee, yeah I know that's right ♪

♪ Like a pound of bacon

♪ I've been waiting for this, really shake it ♪

♪ Everybody

♪ Come to the party

♪ Everybody

♪ Come to the party

♪ Everybody, that's it

♪ Come to the party, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Everybody

- Oftentimes, the magic word shorthand

can make a difference between a low-paying job

and a medium-paying job.

- Hey teacher, can I go outside and scratch my balls?

- The young lady who isn't really interested in a career

and only in the title of Mrs.

can find shorthand and stenographic...

- Okay, Mothers.

Dope on desk followed by hands on desk.

- Come on, Gail.

- Tequila, aye?

- That's easy to forget.

- Aw, shit. - Give me the book.

- Okay, lady, open up.

- That's mine. - Bitch.

- You people are really something else.

- What are you gonna do about it, baby?

- What is this?

- Ragtime.

- Come on, hand it over.

- I'm out.

- Let's get out of here!

- Aloha, students.

This is Mrs. Watson with today's social notes.

The Yearbook Club will host a discussion

of faulty erections within our cities.

From his bedside at Camarillo Hospital,

Dr. Ivory reports he loves you all

and says to take special care when eating out.

- Where's the State Ed?

- Oh, they've already started, sir.

They just went out the door a moment ago.

- Right, good, good.

Murray, Brennan and Malone, huh?

Yes, who's in charge here, Ms. Watson?

- Well, since we've lost Dr. Ivory, there's,

it's just me.

- Well, I'm sure you'll make an excellent guide.

And now I want them to see the whole school.

Anything they want to see.

I'm anxious to see that report.

Give them carte blanche, Mrs. Watson.

Carte blanche.

- Tres bien, sir.

Nurse Beam, Luigi's truck is here.

He wants to unload his hot meatballs.

- Come on, come on.

What is this stuff?

This is gonna be good.

Thank you, Lincoln.

Hurry up, hurry up. - All right.

A little tequila.

- Wait, shit!

This is gonna be one bad buzz, care of the Bees!

This spaghetti is gonna be out of sight!

- Whoo!

- You horny bitch! - Sit!

- Oh, how'd you guys make it?

- How did we do?

- Show 'em how we did.

- All right. - All right!

- Boys, boys, boys, all around.

- Eddie sure looks great around the rim.

- Oh, he shoots.

I mean, swish.

- Boy, if Randy didn't wear those baggy shorts,

you could really see it.

- Yeah, I can really dig his bod, every lick.

- Hmm.

Lickety split.

- Dig it.

There's something about Brian's mouth

between those shoulders.

- Boy, am I loaded.

- Hello, Jordan.

Oh, we're in luck.

Today's Thursday, spaghetti and meatballs.

Luigi's meatballs and Nurse Beam's sauce.


- Hmm, let me see, I'll take two of these shells.

And a pineapple or how about a peach.

No, two peaches. - Only one dessert

to a student, please.

- Okay, look, here you have that one.

And this one's mine, let's get out of here!

Fix it up, man.

- Shh!


- Isn't it marvelous?

- Hey, man.

- Don't you think it's great?

I could eat two tons of it.

- The tour!

Come on!

- You're embarrassing me.

- Oh, you're embarrassing me.

- Barbara, I'm gonna turn you in.

- Ah, look at that!

Oh, far out.

- Oh, that's disgusting!

- That's disgusting.

- Wait, wait, let's make a spaghetti man.

Make a spaghetti man!

Stop it, oh god!

Wait, wait a minute, wait, wait!

- This is starting to look really good.

- Now instead of the good parts.

- Here, smell this.

Did you smell this?

- No!


- Hey, where are you going?

Let's take a dip.

- Get your hands off me! - Get your hands off me!

Get your hands, get your hands off me!

Get your hands off me!

- Please, young man!

- I don't need a physical.

- You'll get your physical.

I'll give you a physical!

- We'd better rate these hallways.

- Hallways?

- Oh yes, they are dirty.

- School spirit's good.

- Oh, they could use more wax.

- I love wax.

- Slippery wax. - Nice!

- Slippery hands! - 39!

39, it's more like 89!

- 69!

- 39!

- Dirty nine?

- Oh!

- Oh, come on now.


- Hey, who's giving you the authority to take me anywhere?

- By the authority invested in me.

Oh, please!

- Dirty nine! - 39!

- I've had quite enough of this bullshit!

- Hey, where are we going, blondie?

Stop, hey, wait, I'm a special student here.

I'm on the bottom of the list.

- Oh, shut your trap! - Unhand me, woman!

- Oh, I want some more spaghetti.

- Oh, me too! - Me too.

Oh, my head is spinning.

- Frogs?

- Frogs?

- Frogs.

- He found those inspectors in the boys' shower.

Stark, jay ass naked, screaming for more sauce!

Oh, the school is handed, it's closed.

The State Board of Regents has been meeting on it

since eight o'clock this morning.

You tell Walt Hartlander that closure on moral grounds

is a goddamn winner if I ever saw one.

Those Aloha kids are playing into our hands

without even that idiot Ivory.

They'll move the students to Lincoln and put the building

up for bid, and we snatch it for a song.

Expect one hell of a fine headline

in this afternoon's paper.

I can have cost estimates

on bulldozing the school by tomorrow.


- We're on go, Walt.

- Cheerleaders and basketball team,

assemble on walk five for halftime show rehearsal!

Attention students, Aloha High School would like

to announce the arrival of our new principal,

Mr. Hall Walker.

He's here temporarily by special appointment

of the State Board of Regents.

Cigarettes out, zippers up.

Let's give him a grand welcome!

Oh, good, good, welcome.

Welcome. Mr. Walker. - Hall-Walker.

- Celia Beam.

We're here to help you, sir.

- We can start by policing this place up.

- Yes, sir.

- It's a mess.

- Well, sort of.

- Frankly, Mr. Walker, the school's a wreck.

- Isn't there a custodian?

- You're lucky there's someone here

who can show you exactly what you want to see.

I'm always available.

- Nurse!

Nurse, I need children!

- He's gonna jump!

- My life's a drag, I mean, what is this?

Sex and dope every day?

What happened to the school books?

Where's the library?

I'm gonna jump, you don't believe me!

- Don't jump, you have so much to live for!

- I'm gonna jump!

- No, help!

Help him!

He's, he's, help him!

- Mr. Walker. - Help him!

- I'm tired of it!

Goodbye, Mr. Chips.

- I've heard so much about you.

- No, no, help him! - Goodbye, cruel world!

- Is there a Mrs. Walker?

- Of course there's a Mrs. Walker, my mother.

- What are you doing, you guys?

Talk to him, help him! - Look out!

I scared you, didn't I?

- This is the way to your office, sir.

- Oh shit, this tub's had it.

- Here, try this fuel.

- Yeah, what do we got to lose?

- Go in the court, and stash the rest in the lockers.

- Why aren't you in class?

- I'm between periods, yuck-yuck!


- Pay no attention to them.

Let me show you the language lab.

- Excuse me, I gotta fix this car.

- Ms. Watson, send the cheerleaders in.

- Far out, man!

Aloha, Mr. Walker.

- Wow.

- You wanted to see us, Walker?

- I want you to account for your actions today.

- Hang on, you guys!

This place is out of state!

Congratulations, Walker!

- This must be a real break for you, Mr. Walker.

- Yeah, he's got his office together.

Maybe he can get his...

- Right on for brother Walker!

- Right on, right on, right on!

- Brother Walker, right on!

- Can we cut the crap right now!

I'm told that you're exceptional cheerleaders.

I believe it.

I like winners, but I also like straight shooters.

Now you like being cheerleaders, don't you?

Well, starting tomorrow

you will do your assignments like any other student.

You will attend each and every one of your classes

like every other student.

You will do your homework like every other student.

You will have the same status as every other student.

And you will dress like every other student.

You like being cheerleaders, don't you?

As of right now, you're off, you're fired!

You students may go.

- Oh, don't worry, girls.

Things will work out.

I'll see what I can do.

- I'd like to blow this whole fuckin' place up!

And that marine with it!

- Bunch of shit!

- Tryouts will be held this afternoon

to select new cheerleaders for the game tomorrow

with Lincoln Vocational.

- It's about time to kick ass. - Yeah!

- Gail, hey, what's happening, mama?

Ra-ra-we, we kick 'em in the knees!

Ra-ra-rass, I kick 'em in the ass, whoo!

- Silly clown!

- Oh goddamn, Gail, sit down, listen!

Look, this is Fred talking to you, goddamn it!

You're not so bad, Captain!

- For your information, bean head, we've been fired.

- Well, that's too goddamn bad.

- Is that the only way you can attract attention

is acting a damn fool?

Why don't you put on a monkey suit

and do a little tap dance for him?

Stupid ass.

- You silly heifer, you.

You know what?

Now why don't I shake my thing and just turn you on?

- You think you can?

- Yeah, really.

- How you know that turns me on?

- It's common knowledge.

- Hmm. - Hmm.

- This is the man you're gonna have to deal with!

You've put it down, you pick it up.

All I wanna see is elbows and you know what.

Come on, bend over, move it, move it, move it!

I wanna see some movement around here.

Come on, over there, over there!

Pile it up, pile it up!

I wanna see some action.

Pile it up, pile it up!

Movement, movement!

Pile it up, pile it up!

Trash hard, trash hard!

Move, move, move, move, move, move, move!

All right, come on.

Get that stuff off that statue!

That looks disgusting!

Get that skirt off, that's a disgrace to the school.

Get with it, get on it, pick that up.

Don't let that ball bounce, put it in the pile!

I wanna some lines, quickly, quickly, quickly.

And more quickly, more quickly!

- That's nasty.

I'm dying, I'm dying, it's all over.

I've done it!

- Pick it up.

Now get to class.

- Mr. Hartlander.

- Oh, thank you.

Who the hell is Hall Walker?

What the hell's going on?

- I told you, Daddy.

Daddy! - I don't want state people

all over the school.

And I'm not taking part in any social experiment.

- It happened in the school board,

and you can't do anything.

- I'll handle this.

Those board members don't know who runs the real world.

- Daddy, I want a--

- Pass the salt, please, won't you?

Either I run the school or they run the school.

You know, mergers aren't fools play.

Joanne, I want you to do something for me at Aloha.

- Thanks!

Daddy, I know I can.

- We can't have everything, buttercup,

but we try.

- My father says you can start as of right now.

- Joanne, sweetheart, thank your father for me

and tell him I'll be delighted to help him

with anything that comes up.

He's such a generous man.


A giant herbivore of the Jurassic period!

30 tons, 1000 times as great as the baby alligator.

This great beast has been extinct,

dead to Man's glance for 100 million years.

- Let's get out of here.

- They built no great empires.

Knew not of wisdom, had but two desires.

Too large to mutate.

- Wonder what it would be like to make it

with one of these things.

- Better make it a quickie

'cause we're all going to the game after the field trip.

- Why go to the game?

Who needs us anyway?

Who cares?

- Yeah, with that dildo running the school,

who cares about us?

- Come on, you guys.

We're still cheerleaders for anyone that matters.

- Cut the flattery shit, Leslie.

- Hey, fuck you!

- Fuck you too!

You know you always have some bright comment to make.

- Quit bitching.

- Who's the bitch?

- You, bitch!

- Gail, you're a real bring down!

- Well, just fuck you too!

- Oh, cool out, you guys.

- I wish I were in her pants.

I would shit in them!

- When we get to the game, we'll down her stuff.

- Tell me what happened, I'd love to help out,

but I've already got four pink cards.

- Those mountains look pretty tempting.

I think I'll join you.

- I see you girls later.

- Hi.

- Ready, okay!

- Open the window, roll out the mat!

Come on, team, lay them flat!


- That's it, that's it, that's it!


Get him, get him, get him!

- Lincoln basket by Watson.

- Come on, Eddie!

Come on, rebound, rebound, come on!

Oh, come on, Boner!

For crying out loud, you look terrible!

Go, block him, Boner!

Take him out!

- Lincoln basket by number two, Buzinski.

- Well, run him down, run him down!

Switch, switch, switch!

Come on, Eddie!

You can do better than that!

Come on, Eddie, come on!

- Lincoln foul by official.

Russell on the line, one shot.

- Ready, go!

- Team, come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

Come on, team!

- Come over here.

- You are in violation of chapter eight,

section 3-14 of the criminal code.

Get over on the side of the car.

Come on, get over there.

Put your hands up on that roof.

All right, spread your legs.

Spread 'em out here, come on.

You got any?

You got any hidden weapons or anything?

Huh, you got any illicit dope?

Any illicit drugs?

Any person willfully or lewdly exposing himself

to public view is guilty of a misdemeanor.

You're under arrest.

- Thank you, guys, all right!

- That creep was something else.

- One for all and all for one.

- Get in!

- What about that basketball game?

- Yeah! - Take off!

- This is one report he won't fill out!

- What happened to the lights?

- There's a light switch over here.

- I got a light.

- How was the game, girls? - Just fine.

- Well, well, well, very posh.

- Yeah, you guys really had it together out there.

- Shut up, you're retired.

- Get your ass in the locker before I make you!

- Get me out of here!

- Ready, let's go!

- Swing to the left, swing to the right!

Get 'em, beat 'em, fight, fight, fight!

Swing to the left, swing to the right!

Get 'em, beat 'em, fight, fight, fight!

Swing to the left!

- Where are our cheerleaders?

- They must be freshening up for the second half.

- Well, get them!

- What's going on here?

- Come on, girls!

Can you dig it?

- Yeah!

- Can you dig it?

- Yeah!

- Can you dig it?

- Yeah!

- Can you dig it?

- Yeah!

- I said ooh, ah!

I said ooh, ah!

I said ooh, ah!

I said ooh, ah!

I said ooh, ah!

I said ooh, ah!

I said ooh, ah!

I said ooh, ah!

I said ooh, ah!

I said ooh, ah!

I said ooh, ah!

Ooh, ah!

Ooh, ah!

Ooh, ah!

Ooh, ah!

Ooh, ah!

- Aloha basket by Number three.

- Win, win, win, win!

Beat 'em, beat 'em, beat 'em, beat 'em, beat 'em!

Beat 'em, beat 'em, beat 'em, beat 'em!

- Swing to the left, swing to the right!

Get 'em, beat 'em, fight, fight, fight!

Swing to the left, swing to the right!

Get 'em, get 'em, fight, fight, fight!

Swing to the left, swing to the right!

- Aloha basket by Number Five, Boner.

- Aloha! - Yeah!

- Aloha basket by Number Five, Boner.

Aloha basket, Boner.

Aloha basket by Boner.

Aloha basket by Number Three, Rucker.

Aloha basket, Boner.

- T-O-R-Y, V-I-C-T, T-O-R-Y!


- Rebound, stay on your feet!

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

- Lincoln.

Aloha basket, Boner. - Way to go, Boner!

Way to go!

- He misses it, you grab the ball, time again.

We have one time out.

Let's go, let's go, come on, go.

Ah, pick him up, pick him up!

Run him down, run him down!

Pick him up, come on!

Switch, switch, switch, switch!

- Lincoln basket, Number 66, Jones.

Time out, Aloha!

- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

M-E-R-G-E-R, merger, hooray!

- Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!

Let's fight, let's fight, let's fight, let's fight!

Let's win, let's win, let's win, let's win!

Let's go, let's fight, let's win, hey!

- Hey, hey!

M-E-R-G-E-R, merger, hey!

Look at the scoreboard, who's beyond!

You, you!

- Fuck you!

- Stop!

Let's play basketball.

- Marco, Marco!

- Boner, wake up.

You gotta go back.

- Over there.

Get him back into the game.

- Loosen his sneakers.

He'll be all right in a day or two.

- Team, team, team, team, team, team!

Team, team, team, team, team, team!

Team, team, team, team, team, team!

Team, team, team, team, team, team!

Team, team, team, team, team, team!

Team, team, team!

- 36 seconds left to play.

- Team, team, team, team, team, team!

Team, team, team, team, team, team!

Team, team, team, team!

- Come on, let's play ball.

- Boner, go in the game, win the game!

- Get in there, come on, get in!

Come on, come on, get in!

Come on, come on!

- Over the basket, over the rim!

Come on, Boner, put it in!


- Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!

Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!

Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!

- Get it up, get it up!

Get it up, up, up!

Get it up, get it up, get it up, up, up!

Get it up, get it up!

- Hey listen, the basket!

- Get it up, up, up!

Get it up, get it up, get it up, up, up!

Get it up, get it up, get it up, up, up!

Get it up, get it up, get it up, up, up!

Get it up!

- Aloha has won!

Final score, Aloha 58, Lincoln 57.

- Beam, you give me nightmares.

Haven't you seen the papers?

What the hell am I paying you for?

- I did everything I could possibly do.

It's those little girls, they run the whole school!

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

- Hold the pin, Beam.

- Yes, sir!

- Look, I can't afford to have Walker around any longer.

Now, this merger's a simple deal.

For God's sakes, let's close it.

- Did you get that, Beam? - Yes, sir.

- Look, there's really only one goal.

To create a fine community in which to live.

And to live in it.

But damn it, this time it's for real!

Now I want that land!

I want the school closed, I want those people out, now!

- Oh man, I don't believe this!

Look at the school!

Hot damn!

Oh man, hey, they blew the school up, wow!

Look out, it's early summer vacation!

Hey, where's my geography book?

Wait a minute, man.

The school has been fucked!

Look at this, wow!

Hey man, anybody, what's happened?

It's over, we can split!

- Attention, student body.

This is Mrs. Watson.

Aloha High School has been condemned

due to structural damage.

Students will keep out.

Our principal Hall Walker is missing and is alleged

to be responsible for this malicious bombing.

I am temporarily in charge.

Pending criminal investigation by the state police,

all Aloha jackets will turn into Lincoln.

I mean, turn in your Lincoln Alohas to your Lincoln.


- Hello, children.

This is Walter Hartlander of the Board of Education.

Now a terrible thing has happened,

and I know that mergers are sad and difficult for us all,

but this is a time for us to work together.

We must be brave.

Now, turn in all your Aloha jackets and uniforms

to Mrs. Watson, and all the monitors will report immediately

to the auditorium at Lincoln for orientation.

That is all.

Mrs. Watson, where do you keep the files?

- Holy shit!

Leslie, report to the principal's office immediately!

Leslie, to the principal's office.

Leslie, get your ass up here

and give me that damn box!

- Wow, what's going on?


- I left your note in that box.

- "Beam, we secured Walker at 'Forgotten World.'

"I'll see you at the Underground Plaza

"when all this blows over.

"Here's the box, you know the rest.


Walter. - Hartlander.

- He's got Walker.

- He blew up the school.

- We better find Walker and start moving our asses

out of here.

- Come on. - Let's do it.

- Beam, you get that box and get Walker,

and stop those cheerleaders!

-eep moving!

- It's gotta be in there!

Come on!

- It's this way!

- Look, he's up there!

Come on!

There! - This way!

- This way! - In here!

- Wait for me! - Here comes Beam!

- Move! - Let go of me!

In here!

- Oh, those girls!

Girls, girls!

- Help!

- He's up there, come on!

- Joanne, up here!

- There's Walker!

- Ms. Beam!

- I'm sure we heard him around here somewhere.

- Come back here!

Ms. Beam, Ms. Beam, wait for me!

Ms. Beam, Ms. Beam, wait for me!

Come back here!

You don't know where Daddy is, Ms. Beam!

- Got our car!

- Ms. Beam, you won't know where to meet my Dad!

Don't you dare take that car, that is my Mercedes!

- Come on, get in here!

- Come on back here with my car!

- Don't let 'em get away!

- Come back here!

You'll pay for this!

Come back here with my car!

Ms. Beam, help, help, help!

- It's Ms. Beam! - After her.

- Get her!

- Hartlander.

- Daddy.

Daddy, Ms. Beam got the box and took Walker

and drove off without me!

- Come on girls, let's get her!

- Yeah, get her!

- Come on!

- Go after him, move!

- Hartlander?


Oh, Hartlander!

- All right, come on, hurry up!

- Hurry up, come on! - Where are we?

- Come on, let's get her!

- Here, go this way, come on!

- Walker! - Walker!


- Walker!

- Come on! - Walker!

- Wait till I get my hands on Ms. Beam!

- Walker!

- I don't see anything! - Faster!

- Well, let's go this way, come on.

- Oh!

Walker! - Beam!

- Where's Hartlander?

- Come on! - Walker!

- Where are you? - Damn it!

- Walker, where are you?

- We're at Park 'N Lark!

- There she goes, up that elevator!

- She went in the elevator!

- Where's Hartlander?

- Who?

- This man's my patient, he's very sick.

I have to get in here!

- Lady, lady, this is no nuthouse!

- Get out of my way.

- Stand still!

- Well, I guess Beam's been here.

- Looks like we're too late. - Come on.

Let's go this way! - Hurry, hurry!

Let's get her!

- Okay, come on! - Oh, wait for me!

- Come on, guys, hurry, let's go!

- There's Beam, right there!

Let's cut her off!

- Hurry! - Hurry, get her!

- Hartlander!

- I see Beam!

- Hello, Sarge, I got a bunch of nuts running around here.

In Park 'N Lark Plaza.

- Get her! - Get her!

- Okay, hands up!

- Oh, I got the box, here!

- Hey, help, help!

- Give me my box!

- Where the hell is Walker?

- She's got him around here somewhere.

- Hey, let's go in here.

- Hurry! - Hurry up, come on!

- Freeze!

- There she is!

- Oh!

- By selling me this land,

you'll be doing a service to the community.

Fine, fine.

We'll see you there.

Thank you, thank you, now for my next number.

- We're on go, Walt, we have the school.

The bulldozers begin at 8:00 AM tomorrow.

- Great, make sure it's down by next week.

Look at that.

Beautiful, isn't it?

P 'N L 101.

- Beautiful.

- And I just closed the Shallow Hollow deal, P 'N L 102.

Why, given the chance, Don, we're gonna sell

whatever there is to sell to whoever there is to buy.

- Hartlander!

- Dead end!

- Come on, come on!

Come on, let's go, come on!

Come on, she must be over there!

- Look! - You go get her.

- Come on!

- Come on, Leslie!

- Come on!

- Oh no!


- No, no, no.

No, we need something more personal.

How about Park 'N Lark is...

- No!

Help, ah!


- Come on, come on! - Come on.

- Help!



- I'm stuck!

- Hey, it's a door!

- What the hell's going on here?

- Hartlander! - Hey, what is this?

- Hey, there's Dr. Ivory.

- Dr. Ivory! - Heather!

- Hi. - How wonderful to see you.

- Oh, it's good to see you too.

How are you? - I'm fine.

- What have you been doing lately?

- I'm with the fire department now.

- Oh, no.

- Watch that first step.

I see you're still holding that basketball.

- Yeah, been bouncing around really a lot.

- Good, good.

What a wonderful party.

Everybody's having a great time here.

- Oh, Dr. Ivory, this is our new principal, Mr. Walker.

- Mr. Walker, congratulations.

You're at a great school.

- Dr. Ivory!

- Sesame, Heather, oh, I've missed you both.

- Ooh, garbage.

- No, no, not garbage.

It's a little gift for later.

- Ah!

- Ivory.

- Walker, stay out of the kitchen.

My only advice to you.

- Yeah!


- Let's have some fun, have some fun.

- Now you got it!

- Yeah!

- You got it, you got it, you got it!

You got it, you got it, you got it!

- Go, you're awesome!

- You got it, you got it, you got it!

You got it, you got it, you got it!

- Go, go, go, go, come on, whoo!

- You got it, you got it, you got it!

You got it, you got it, you got it, you got it!

♪ Misdemeanors, screamers

♪ And healthiness is giving you more ♪

♪ Once we got it, love it

♪ That's the reason why we know how to score ♪

- Look, there's Heather!

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel good, I feel good ♪

♪ I feel good, I feel good

♪ I feel good, I feel good

♪ I feel good, I feel good

♪ I feel good, I feel good

♪ I feel good, I feel good