Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016) - full transcript
The five highly trained Bennett sisters in Georgian England must try to protect themselves from the growing zombie threat, find suitable husbands for themselves, battle marriage proposals and unlikely suitors, and save the country before it's too late.
Make way
on the bridge!
Battle arms, engage!
It is a truth
universally acknowledged
that a zombie
in possession of brains
must be in want
of more brains.
Never was this
truth more plain
than in the recent attacs
at Netherfield Park,
in which an entire househod
was slaughtered
by a horde of the living dead
during a whist party.
Who goes there?
Who goes there?
Darcy.
Colonel Darcy.
No zombie bite marks
on this pristine, young body.
Father.
How were you able to discern that the
wound on my rib was from fencing?
Been at this
a long time, my son.
I have no wound.
Lovely bid, Mr. Kingston!
More sherry for
Mr. Kingston please!
Mrs. Featherstone.
I'm afraid Mr. Darcy's here
to see you, ma'am.
Darcy?
Carry on.
We have absolutely
nothing to hide.
Please, everyone. Enjoy.
Mr. Darcy.
Colonel Darcy,
Mrs. Featherstone.
I'm here on
official business.
There's been a report that
somebody here has been bitten.
Surely not.
There hasn't been
a zombie incident
in Hertfordshire
for over two years.
I assure you,
we've taken every precaution.
A newly-infected zombie
is almost impossible
to detect.
Until they've ingested
their first human brains,
at which point, the transformation
accelerates with every subsequent kill.
Yes.
We are all well aware
of how it works,
Colonel Darcy.
Well, are you
quite satisfied?
Quite.
Might I play a hand?
Of course.
Good evening.
So, shall we?
A potion?
Flies, ma'am.
I beg your pardon?
Carrion flies.
They are in possession
of but one truly enviable talent.
The ability to detect
dead flesh.
Well, I've won the trick.
Very crafty play,
Mr. Kingston.
I dare say, the buzzing
is frightfully loud.
It's not the buzzing that should
concern you, madam.
But rather, when
the buzzing stops.
Oh, dear.
One-nil, Darcy.
I'm going to be faint.
Is there anyone else present
whom he would have had
the opportunity to infect?
A family member, perhaps?
Good evening.
Who would dare
just leave a zombie head
in the middle of the floor?
It's his head!
Get it away from me.
But Mr. Kingston's
niece is here.
There was no need
to put that girl
through Mr. Darcy's
interrogation!
Cassandra, come back!
Annabelle?
Where are you?
Annabelle?
It wasn't always
like this, my dear daughters.
As the century began,
Britannia was rich with the
fruits of worldwide trade.
From the colonies there cae
not just silks and spices,
but a virulent and
abominable plague.
Naturally, many suspected
the French were to blame.
Definitely the French.
- Are you surprised?
- No.
Once bitten,
the newly-infected were filled
with an insatiable hunger
for the brains of the living.
Millions perished,
only to rise again as legions
of implacable undead.
So certain did it seem
the end of days had come
that even the Four Horsemen
of the Apocalypse
are said to have
ascended from Hell.
To protect the living,
the Grand Barrier was buil,
a 100-foot wall
encircling London.
Then excavation began
on the Royal Canal,
a vast moat 30 fathoms deep
surrounding both
the city and its walls.
The land twixt the two
fortifications became known
- as The In-Between.
- The In-Between.
At this time,
it became fashionable
to study the deadly arts
of the Orient.
Japan for the wealthy.
China for the wise.
In the Second Battle of Kent,
one of the bridges across the
Royal Canal was breached.
Ravenous zombie hordes massacred
every villager of The In-Between.
It was said, the sight of this
slaughter drove young King George ma.
When the battle
was finally won,
he ordered the destructin of
all the bridges, save one.
Hingham Bridge,
which to this day,
remains the only means
by which to cross
the Royal Canal.
There's Lady Catherine.
Many believed the enemy
was finally vanquished.
The gentry began to leave the safe
confines of London's defenses
for their newly-fortified
country estates.
But vigilance is still
of the essence.
Remember this, keep your
swords as sharp as your wit.
For the ultimate battle between
the living and the undead
has yet to be staged.
Mr. Bennet!
Mr. Bennet!
Mr. Bennet, have you heard
that Netherfield Park is occupied again?
By a Mr. Bingley.
A young, single man
of large fortune.
Mrs. Long says his income is
four or five thousand a year.
He is attending
the village dance tonight.
How does this concern
our warrior daughters?
Oh, how
can you be so tiresome?
You know I mean for him
to marry one of them.
Daughters do not dance well
with masticated brains, Mrs. Bennet.
You, sir, have already put them
at a decided social disadvantage
by insisting they do their
combat training in China
as opposed to Japan!
The Chinese deadly
arts have no equal.
I, for one, would trade nothing
for my Shaolin training.
You mustn't speak
like that, Lizzy.
I should like to
go to the dance.
Do you think Mr. Bingley's handsome?
With his income, Lydia, you'd think him
handsome if he had half a zombie face.
Sorry.
You'll make me
very, very happy.
Well, I suppose,
if we all go...
No! I don't care
to be paraded
like a herd of heifers
at a farm auction.
That's because you're the
cow who's least proficient
in the art of tempting
the other sex.
Moo.
Do not mistake my indulgence
for a relaxation in discipline!
They must find
husbands, Mr. Bennet.
For as you know too well, they shall
inherit nothing when you pass.
Their immediate survival
is my present concern.
Pish.
Well, I'd say you're easily
five times as beautiful
as any other woman
in this room.
Stop it, Liz.
It's true.
These girls
don't stand a chance.
They say Mr. Bingley brought a tribe
of London dandies with him.
Smile, Liz.
I will later.
There's the handsome
new master of Netherfield.
Oh!
Where?
It was my understanding that Captain
Bingley was in want of a wife.
Oh, he is.
Those are his sisters,
Caroline Bingley and Louisa Hurst.
They say he inherited
nearly £100,000.
What a magnificent
husband he'd make.
Charlotte Lucas,
do you think of nothing else?
Zombies or no zombies, all women
must think of marriage, Lizzy.
I shall never relinquish
my sword for a ring.
For the right man,
you would.
The right man
wouldn't ask me to.
Mr. Darcy.
Rather an imposing presence.
Owns half of Derbyshire.
£10,000 a year, at least.
What?
Back to your own family,
Charlotte Lucas.
Now, Liz, you
look very nice.
Well, thank you.
Don't act so surprised.
Out, out.
Out. Smile.
Welcome, dear friend.
How are you?
How are you, Charles?
I'm very well. How was the
journey from Derbyshire?
Fine.
Good.
So this is Meryton?
She's the most beautiful
creature I ever beheld.
She smiles too much.
She...
She's an angel.
Oh, my word.
Charles Bingley, pleased
to make your acquaintance.
Mrs. Bennet. We've heard so
much about you, Mr. Bingley.
My daughters,
all of impeccable character.
Well... May I introduce my friend,
Mr. Darcy of Derbyshire!
Are you enjoying Hertfordshire,
Mr. Bingley?
Very much.
I've heard the library at
Netherfield is one of the finest.
Library? Is it?
Miss Bennet, may I be so bold as
to request the next two dances?
If you are not
otherwise engaged.
I am not engaged.
Good for you,
Mr. Bingley.
You chose the loveliest
of my daughters.
Mother!
Well...
I consider dancing to be the first
refinement of polished society.
Don't you agree, Mr. Darcy?
No.
Every savage can dance.
Why, I imagine even zombies could
do it to some degree of success.
Good evening.
You know, I love
to read, too, actually.
I have read.
Please don't forget
our next dance, Miss Bennet.
Darcy, I hate to see you just
standing there. You must dance.
Oh, you know I detest it when I'm
not acquainted with my partner.
Oh, well...
Darcy.
You are dancing with the
only handsome girl here.
Oh, but one of her
sisters is also very pretty.
Dare I say,
very agreeable.
Well, she's tolerable but...
Tolerable?
Yes, tolerable.
But not handsome
enough to tempt me.
Nor any other man here,
apparently.
Darcy, your standards, my dear fellow...
Oh, that is unfortunate.
What a lack of grace.
Mr. Darcy, you're
an insufferable prig.
Fitzwilliam Darcy?
I quite detest the man.
So high and so conceited
that I can't endure him.
Indeed.
I wouldn't dance
with him if he were...
Mrs. Featherstone?
You're undead.
I've come to tell you...
What happened, Lizzy?
I narrowly
saved her life.
From Mrs. Featherstone?
From an undead
Mrs. Featherstone.
I found her to be
exceedingly tolerable.
Well done, Darcy.
Very heroic.
She was trying
to tell me something.
A recipe, perhaps?
Laugh as much
as you choose.
But you shall not
laugh me out of my opinion.
She posed no threat.
We are under attack!
Ladies!
Her face is rendered
uncommonly intelligent
by the beautiful
expression of her dark eyes.
And I'm forced to acknowledge her
figure as both light and pleasing.
And that her arms
are surprisingly muscular,
yet not so much
as to be unfeminine.
Oh, Lizzy, I never saw
such happy manners.
So much ease with
such good breeding.
I give you leave
to like him.
You've liked many a stupider person.
He's just what
a young man ought to be.
Good-humored,
lively, handsome, and...
Quite rich, which a young man
ought likewise to be,
if he possibly can.
Not as rich as Darcy.
I saw how you
looked at him
when he first
walked in the dance...
As if I hated him?
As if you liked him.
Until his manners
gave me disgust!
He acted as if he were above our
company and above being pleased.
Admit you
find him handsome.
Handsome is as
handsome does.
Mr. Darcy is therefore
a very ill-looking man.
Girls, you will
knock the house down!
Never have I encountered a
man so consumed by his own pride!
One cannot wonder
that so very fine a young man
with family, fortune,
and everything in his favor
should think
highly of himself.
If I may so express it,
he has a right
to be proud.
I could easily
forgive his pride,
if he had not
mortified mine.
Pride is a very common failing,
I believe.
Vanity and pride
are different things,
though the words are
often used synonymously.
A person may be proud
without being vain.
Pride relates more
to our opinion of ourselves,
and vanity to what we would
have others think of us.
A letter for
Miss Jane Bennet.
He saved you
from a zombie.
Mrs. Featherstone
was quite civilized.
Yield!
Never!
She was a zombie, Lizzy.
Thank goodness he was there.
Lizzy!
No, Lizzy!
No, no, no! Stop it,
Lizzy! That's not fair!
Lydia!
The Bingleys have
invited me to tea.
- Lydia, come on.
- Well, of course they have.
Yeah. Down there.
What?
Truly, I'd much rather
go by coach.
You had much better
go on horseback,
for it seems
likely to rain,
and then you must
stay all night.
That would be
a good scheme
if you were sure they
would not send her home.
Mother, I really
would prefer the carriage.
Jane, Mr. Bingley
undoubtedly likes you.
But in nine cases
out of 10,
a woman had far better show
more affection than she feels.
Enough.
Go quickly now. The zombies
spring easily from the wet earth.
Merciful God.
This cannot be.
Where is she?
She must be
closely monitored
and her room locked
at all times...
That is
a little excessive, Darcy.
Miss Elizabeth Bennet.
Did you walk
all the way here?
Yes.
How is my sister?
She was feverish
and slept ill last night.
I fear she has the flu.
Or worse.
I detest illness. It keeps one in
a continual state of inelegance.
Quite.
May I tend to her?
Of course. Edwin,
show Miss Bennet the way.
Thank you.
I will not make
the same mistake I made
at Mrs. Featherstone's
whist party, Bingley.
Oh, Janey.
Miss Bennet.
The physician has arrived.
Please.
She got caught
in the downpour?
Yes.
The wound, Doctor.
Her musket backfired.
I see
no indication of a bite.
That was never
in question.
I believe that
these belong to you.
Darcy, old bean,
you almost seem disappointed.
Louisa, you shouldn't have
played that spade.
I won! I won!
How is she?
She's fast asleep.
I'm sure she'll be quite well.
Please join us, Miss Bennet.
Thank you, but I'll
amuse myself with a book.
You prefer reading
to cards?
I prefer a great many things
to cards, Mr. Hurst.
One half of the world cannot
understand the pleasures of the other.
I don't speak Japanese.
No, of course.
You didn't train in Japan.
China, was it?
The Shaolin Temple
in Henan Province.
It was there that I learned to
endure all manner of discomfort.
May I inquire as to the
nature of this discomfort?
I would much rather
give you a demonstration.
Mr. Darcy, is your sister
much grown since the spring?
She is now about the same height
as Miss Elizabeth Bennet.
I don't believe
I've ever met a girl
who was so extremely
accomplished.
The word "accomplished" is far too
liberally applied to young ladies today,
but my sister Georgiana
does deserve that distinction.
Not only is she a master of the
female arts but the deadly as well.
I cannot boast of knowing
more than half a dozen
in the whole range of my acquaintance
that is thus accomplished.
Nor I, I'm sure.
Then, Mr. Darcy,
you must comprehend
a great deal in your idea
of an accomplished woman.
I do.
A woman must have a thorough
knowledge of music, singing,
drawing, dancing
and the modern languages.
She must be well-trained in the
fighting styles of the Kyoto masters,
and the weapons and tactics
of modern Europe.
Or the term would
only be half-deserved.
And you know
six such women?
I wonder now at
your knowing any.
Are you so severe
on your own sex?
A woman is either highly
trained or highly refined.
One cannot afford the luxury
of both in such times.
Ah...
L'Art de la guerre.
The Art of War.
Have you not read it
in its original Wu dialect?
Alas.
Then you've never read
The Art of War.
I should get back to Jane.
She is one
of those young ladies
who seeks to recommend
themselves to men
by undervaluing their own sex.
Undoubtedly.
I'm not
going to lie...
Oh, my word, girls,
regard how opulently
reappointed it has been.
He must be even more
wealthy than we imagined.
It would have cost
a small fortune, of course,
to get the zombie
blood out of the marble.
Mrs. Bennet,
Miss Bennet,
Miss Bennet and Miss Bennet.
Mrs. Bennet,
I am so glad to see you.
Oh, and sadly at
distressing circumstances.
Are you here
to take Jane home?
- No.
- Yes!
We must not trespass any
longer on your kindness.
Surely, she is too ill
to be moved.
She...
She does look very pale.
Bingley,
I must protest.
Bingley, please.
Carelessness when dealing
with a zombie infection
could lead to your
abrupt demise.
Arrogance
could lead to yours.
Your defect, Miss Bennet,
besides eavesdropping,
is to willfully
misunderstand people.
And yours is to be unjustly
prejudiced against them.
Come on, Eliza. Come on.
Mr. Bingley,
I know just the thing
to break this terrible
tension and...
And lift the spirits
of the county.
A ball at Netherfield.
Out of the question.
The security
arrangements alone...
It's a brilliant idea.
When Jane is recovered you shall,
if you please, name the day.
I should be honored.
All right.
Look at her.
We could've stayed on for
another week in that palace.
I'd risk a cold before
I'd risk Darcy's blade.
Oh, Mrs. Beacham's
orphanage fell.
There will be an addition
to our party for dinner tonight.
It would appear your
health is fully restored.
Quite recovered, Papa.
I know of no one
who is coming.
The person of whom I speak
is a certain gentleman.
Let me see.
Who is it?
"A certain gentleman."
What is that
odious man doing?
He is perusing
his future property.
See, this estate must, by law,
go to a male heir.
Now that "odious man,"
Mr. Collins,
may, the moment
I am dead,
toss you all out of this
house at his pleasure.
Tell me, to which of my fair
cousins do I owe the compliments
of the excellent, and I repeat,
excellent cooking?
My daughters were trained for battle, sir.
Not the kitchen.
Quite, Mr. Bennet.
My patroness is not only
the King's richest subject,
but deadliest.
Singularly dedicated to the
annihilation of the undead.
I assume you have all heard
of Lady Catherine de Bourgh?
She's the most deadly swordswoman
in all of Great Britain.
With the agility
of a black panther.
My humble abode abuts
Her Ladyship's estate, Rosings Park.
Was she ever married?
She has one daughter, Anne, who is
unfortunately of a sickly constitution.
Has Anne been presented?
Oh, no. No, Mrs. Bennet.
Her ill health prevents it.
I told Lady Catherine that
the court has been deprived
of its brightest ornament.
I have a talent, you see, for delivering
these very delicate compliments
with an unstudied air.
It would seem, sir, that all
you lack now is a wife.
I must confess,
Mrs. Bennet,
the fairest wifely choices
be right here in this room.
I declare that I am
enchanted by
your daughter, Jane.
And request to speak
to her alone, if I may.
Oh, dear Parson.
I'm afraid Jane
is already spoken for.
We expect a serious
proposal imminently.
Oh, fuddle.
But Liz is
quite available,
and almost
as fair as Jane.
What?
Is there absolutely
no negotiating over Jane?
The early bird catches the worm, Mr.
Collins. Oh, indeed.
Be mindful of your talent
for the delicate compliment, sir.
Oh, no. Yeah...
Why, yes...
She is almost as fair
as the other one.
Splendid.
Thank you, ladies.
Settle down.
Now, I thought
this morning,
I might read to you from Fordyce's
Sermons To Young Women.
What a treat.
What a treat.
"Chapter One, The Home."
We're walking to Meryton
to visit Aunt Phillips.
So long as Jane and Lizzy are
willing to accompany you.
We most certainly are.
And, er, Mr. Collins,
of course.
Well, I should
be delighted,
but only if Mr. Bennet will consent
to release me from my reading.
With a heavy heart, sir.
Mr. Bennet, I am
susceptible to flattery,
and you, sir,
are very charming.
Come along, ladies.
Miss Elizabeth,
how charming you look toda.
Let us look in the shop
windows of Meryton
and we can buy
some new pots and pans
to take the place
of your swords and daggers.
Oh?
Is there some sort
of trouble?
Oh, it appears
there is.
Penny McGregor's
carriage.
Help!
Someone's trapped inside.
- Jane.
- Please!
There's been an accident!
Please help me!
Anyone! Please!
Help!
There was a horrible accident,
but I survived.
I survived, Janey.
Not in the traditional sense
of the word.
It appears Miss McGregor won't
be delivering any more lamp oil.
I must confess,
I was unaware that
zombies possessed
the required acuity
to set such traps.
Before we know it, they'll
be running for Parliament.
Come along.
Fantastic. We must try and
make elevenses, actually.
Come along, Elizabeth.
We mustn't dawdle, we can't be late.
Miss Bennet.
Thank you, Mr. Collins.
Allow me.
Gallantry isn't dead.
Come, come now. We mustn't be late.
Keep your eyes
peeled for zombies!
No one walks alone!
This must
be the extra militia
they stationed
here in Meryton.
Oh, Kitty, look at him.
Good day.
How are you?
Kitty. Lydia.
Hi.
Lieutenant Denny!
Who's that with him?
Miss Lydia Bennet and Miss Catherine Bennet.
Lieutenant Wickham,
who has just been assigned
to our Meryton regiment
to deal with
the zombie resurgence.
I bet you're fearful handsome
in your regimentals.
Kitty, Lydia.
Miss Jane Bennet, Miss Elizabeth Bennet,
may I introduce...
George Wickham.
He's a lieutenant.
This is our cousin,
Mr. Collins.
Parson Collins.
Aren't we overdue
at the Phillips'?
Walk us.
I fear I have
a prior engagement.
Mr. Wickham?
Yes. Enchanted.
She is baking,
so we mustn't be late.
Lydia.
I said she is baking.
I was very keen to be on time
because, apparently, Aunt Phillips'
muffins are splendid, you see.
Is that so?
Yeah, and Lady Catherine
herself abhors tardiness,
and actually it's instilled me
with a real sense of order.
Thank you
for accompanying us
and enduring
my younger sisters.
It's my pleasure.
Are you going to be stationed
here all winter, Mr. Wickham?
Well, that depends entirely
on what the manky dreadfuls
have in store for us,
Miss Bennet.
Mr. Bingley.
Oh...
We were just
on our way to Longbourn.
Mr. Bingley,
you promised
you'd throw a ball
at Netherfield.
Are you quite recovered?
She is.
Then I shall begin
the preparations immediately
for the most glorious ball
Hertfordshire has ever seen.
Can
Lieutenant Wickham come?
Of course, an invitation shall be
sent to all my fellow officers.
Excuse me.
Good day, Miss Jane.
There you are,
my beautiful nieces.
Oh!
Please join us, Mr. Wickham.
No. Duty calls, I'm afraid.
Oh...
Um...
I must know, Mr. Wickham,
what is amiss
between you and Mr. Darcy?
Are you much
acquainted with him?
More than I wish to be.
He's been here for
less than a month
and is already the least
popular man in the county.
Yes, it always gives me
great pain to see him.
I have been connected
with his family from infancy.
My father managed
the late Mr. Darcy's estate.
Darcy and I
grew up together.
His father treated
me like a second son.
I cannot begin to do
justice to his kindness.
He bequeathed me with the
best living in his gift.
I had my heart set
on joining the church.
But when he was slain
in the Second Battle of Kent,
Darcy ignored his wishes and
gave my living to another man.
What could have induced
him to behave so cruelly?
Pride.
He thought me too low to be
worth his consideration.
I loved his father dearly,
so, I can never expose Darcy
or challenge him to a duel.
Come now, Lizzy!
We must plan our trip
to the North Country.
I'll be right there.
Well, perhaps I shall see you
at Mr. Bingley's ball?
Perhaps.
I'll be there.
Oh, dear.
Beg your pardon.
Mr. Wickham, you came.
As I said I would.
I feared that Mr. Darcy's presence
would keep you away.
If Darcy wishes to avoid me,
he must go, not I.
I have found you,
Miss Bennet!
Sorry, and you are?
Wickham.
Oh, Mr. Wickham.
I never forget a face,
especially one as angelic
as Miss Bennet's.
I do hope you haven't
forgotten our dance?
Of course not,
Parson Collins.
Oh, allow me.
Thank you, Mr. Wickham.
Lady Catherine herself has praised
me on my lightness of foot.
Wonder, sir, how you
found the time
to hone such delicacy
in your steps.
Flattery will get you everywhere,
Miss Bennet.
Dear...
The dance seems to be
getting away with us.
I think it only right and
proper that every clergyman
should set the example
for matrimony in the parish.
Ah...
This is my favorite
moment of the dance.
And now the party's
in full swing.
Such splendor
in the air.
A parson may
no longer lead
a chaste life,
my fair cousin.
Mr. Collins, please keep
your voice down.
Splendid.
Splendid work, everyone.
Thank you for
your attention.
Everyone did valiantly.
Miss Bennet, it is my intention
to remain very close to you
throughout all the evening.
May I have the next dance?
Yes.
Mr. Darcy,
this is Mr. Collins.
Parson Collins.
Parson Collins.
Your...
Uh... He's my cousin.
Mr. Darcy, I have made
the most incredible discovery...
Nay. Tosh.
An extraordinary discovery, sir.
You are the nephew
of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
I know.
Well, I know you know.
Allow me to do the honor
of introducing myself...
Please excuse me.
Please excuse me.
I am Parson Collins.
My humble abode
abuts Her Ladyship's...
I predict a wedding
in under three months.
He's such a charming
young man,
and so...
Well, rich.
Jane marrying Bingley is bound
to throw her younger sisters
in the way of other rich men.
And then...
Mother,
it's time to go.
Don't be so impertinent.
What is Mr. Darcy to me, pray,
that I should be afraid of him?
I can't find
Papa or Lydia anywhere.
Papa will be
in the library
and I'll find
that stupid girl.
Edwin, where is dessert?
Ah!
Hello, Mrs...
Hello, Miss Bennett.
Sir?
Sir?
We must find
Darcy immediately.
There's no time.
Mr. Bingley.
Yes.
All the lanterns
have been snuffed out.
Oh, mind your step,
Miss Bennet.
Mr. Bingley.
You're Mrs. Beacham's orphans.
We were, Miss Bennet.
How did you get in here?
Our new friend
showed us the way in.
Mr. Darcy!
Was he bitten?
Was he bitten?
No.
No, he fell
and hit his head.
Bingley.
Bingley, wake up.
Come on, chap.
Your abilities as a warrior are
beyond reproach, Mr. Darcy.
If only you were
as good a friend.
"Dear Jane, we have decided
to close down Netherfield
"and return to London.
"We are not sure
when we shall return."
The Bingleys just closed
down the house and left?
I don't understand. Why would he
not know when he is to return?
According to Caroline Bingley,
"Mr. Darcy is impatient
to see his sister.
"My brother admires
her greatly already.
"He will now be
seeing her frequently
"and on the most
intimate footing.
"Am I wrong, my dearest Jane,
in indulging the hope of an event
"which will secure
the happiness of so many?"
Obviously, she knows her
brother is in love with you,
and wants him
to marry Miss Darcy.
If Mr. Bingley truly loves me,
nothing can keep us apart.
No one who has ever seen you
together can doubt his affection.
I'm sure Mr. Bingley
will be back soon.
And that there's a good reason
for all this.
Ladies.
Good morrow.
Mr. Collins would like a private
audience with your sister.
Lydia.
What, with Liz?
Out. Out. Everyone out.
Mama, please, he has
nothing to say. He can't...
Jane, please don't.
Please, please...
Ah...
Miss Elizabeth, as soon
as I entered the house
I singled you out as the
companion for my future life.
Oh, no.
I am convinced marrying you will
add very greatly to my happiness.
But, actually, I must add,
I will of course require you
to retire your warrior skills
as part of
the marital submission.
We absolutely can't have
swords in the home.
And now, Miss Elizabeth,
allow me to assure you
in the most animated language
of the violence, the sheer
violence of my affections.
Sir, I am honored by your proposal.
Thank you.
I am,
but I regret, I must refuse.
Lizzy, I insist
you marry Mr. Collins.
No!
Do not
worry, Mr. Collins.
She shall be
brought to reason.
- Oh, good.
- No.
Oh, no...
I'm terribly sorry.
Now, Elizabeth Bennet,
you get back there.
You get back there.
No.
And you face up to your future...
Excuse me. Mr. Bennet!
You must come and make Lizzy marry Mr.
Collins, for she refuses to have him!
Bugger.
Lizzy!
Lizzy, you will
marry Mr. Collins
or I shall never
speak to you again!
You talk to her.
Lizzy!
An unhappy alternative is before you.
Your mother will never
speak to you again
if you do not
marry Mr. Collins.
And I will never speak
to you again if you do.
Who will maintain you
when your father is dead?
No one, Elizabeth Bennet!
You shall become
a poor and pathetic spinster!
Anything.
Anything is to be
preferred or endured
rather than marrying
without affection!
Lizzy.
Lizzy, don't go
into the woods alone!
Lizzy!
I forbid you!
Elizabeth.
Mr. Wickham.
You vanished at the ball.
Yes.
I thought it would've been selfish of
me to seek an encounter with Darcy.
Would've ruined the ball
for anyone who witnessed it.
I am very sorry I lost the pleasure
of dancing with you, though.
Did you happen to see four
gentlemen pass this way?
In top hats?
You saw them?
No, but they were
undoubtedly pallbearers.
This is a cemetery.
Uh, Miss Bennet?
I want to take you somewhere
very special to me.
It's a secret place I've never
shown another living soul.
I stumbled upon it
quite by accident
when I was first stationed
in The In-Between.
But somehow, I believe I was always
destined to find it, Miss Bennet.
You go in. I'll join you
after I see to my horse.
Don't be afraid.
I'm not.
"And I brought
your fathers out of Egypt.
"And ye came unto the sea,
"and the Egyptians crowded their
fathers with chariots and horsemen
"to the Red Sea.
"And when they cried unto the Lord...
"...he put darkness between
you and the Egyptians,
"and brought this upon them.
"He that believeth in me,
"though he were dead,
"yet shall he live."
You're quite rude.
"And Jesus cried
out with a loud voice,
"'Lazarus, come out!'"
No, don't! Don't.
It's all right.
It's all right.
"Happy are those
who are called to his supper.
"The locusts
have no king.
"Yet all of them go forth,
marching in rank.
"What the cutting locust left,
the swarming locust has eaten.
"What the swarming locust...
Brains.
No. They're pigs' brains.
You have nothing to fear.
You see, if they
never consume human brains
they will never fully
transform into zombies.
St. Lazarus is the key
to finally ending
the struggle between
the living and the undead.
We must force some
kind of understanding
with the most advanced
among them.
Well, surely the Crown
will support such a venture.
The war has almost
bankrupted Great Britain.
I know not where to turn.
It's only a matter of time
before they outnumber us.
Rider at the gate!
Attention!
Liz?
Charlotte?
I didn't know
you were coming to visit.
I have some news.
I'm engaged to be
married to Mr. Collins.
You must be surprised.
I'm not. I'm relieved.
I believe that my chance
of happiness with him
is as fair as most
women can hope for.
And that's all you expect?
At 25, it's more
than I expect.
Charlotte, if you're
happy for you, then I am, too.
Well, I am to be
presented to Lady Catherine
and if I am to stay the night
at Mr. Collins' rectory,
I will require a chaperone.
Charlotte... She's said to be
quite an imposing figure.
And the thought of facing her without
you makes me deathly nervous.
So, please?
I'll come, but I have
one stipulation.
Anything.
Now,
when we meet Lady Catherine,
a simple curtsey will suffice.
Maintain eye contact, but don't
speak unless spoken to, please.
Lady Catherine's
famed Black Guard.
They can't move.
Here, look at this, you could
tickle him with a feather. Oh!
Lower the gate!
An extraordinary
sight, is it not? Oh!
Such splendor.
Lady Catherine
Smiting the Undead Lucif.
Majestic. Oh!
Elizabeth Bennet.
The Four Horsemen
of the Zombie Apocalypse.
When they appear,
the end of days is neigh.
This way, miss.
Parson Collins,
Miss Lucas, and Miss Bennet.
I'm sorry.
Lady Catherine.
Miss De Bourgh.
Lady Catherine.
So you are Elizabeth Bennet.
Um, yes.
I am, Your Ladyship.
This is my daughter.
Well,
it's very kind of you
to invite us over for tea,
Lady Catherine. Really.
Very grateful.
Mr. Darcy?
Miss Bennet.
You know my nephew?
Yes, I had
the tremendous pleasure
of meeting him
in Hertfordshire.
Mr. Wickham.
- Is this the soldier you spoke of?
- Yes.
Miss Bennet
requested he attend,
that he might
confer with Your Ladyship
about a strategy with which
to combat the scourge.
Mmm, a lieutenant? Really?
Indeed.
And tea
is brought up.
Oh! Shall we?
Oh, delighted to.
Please.
I have given you entry to the
wealthiest woman in the kingdom.
The rest is up to you.
Your Ladyship
has perhaps heard
that some of the stricken
have not succumbed
to the urge to feed
upon the living,
and in so doing have
maintained their human ways.
And they have
managed to resist this
most primal of
zombie urges, how?
Their iron-clad constitutions?
Yes, fortified by religious
piety and pigs' brains,
which they receive in communion
as the blood of Christ.
The pig brains quench their
appetite for human brains.
Oh, yes, of course.
The Crown's funds
have been drained.
You're here to
solicit money?
I am here to propose a venture
that would end the war forever.
These new zombies
can be reasoned with.
With the proper funding,
I believe we can cultivate trust
and even goodwill with this
new iteration of the undead,
who seem to possess
an inherent power
over the lower
ranks of their kind.
Zombie aristocrats?
Oh, yeah.
I prefer to think of
them as souls lost in purgatory.
The common hordes
look to them for leadership.
It takes just one of them
to realize their power
and then to lead
the hordes into battle...
The undead are like locusts.
Locusts.
They go forth and destroy.
They have no use for leaders.
Oh, um, except one. Actually.
Hmm?
Oh, well, um, according
to the Book of Revelation, actually,
the Antichrist
shall lead the undead
on the day that shall be
the last day of mankind.
How cheery, Collins.
Thank you, Lady Catherine.
Very generous. Franklin,
are there more scones?
If we could negotiate
with this select group of...
Aristocrats? To what end?
A treaty.
Appeasement?
Never.
Well, then the human
race is surely doomed.
Your Ladyship, the undead
will always multiply faster
than the living can procreate.
Nine months to make a baby,
then 16 years
to make a soldier,
and one raw second
to make a zombie.
You must realize, if they were to
organize, we cannot defeat them.
The only hope is to find a way
to coexist with them,
before they find
their Antichrist.
I have tolerated your presence
here long enough, Wickham.
Guards.
Please do remember
this moment,
and the opportunity
so glibly spurned.
The day of the zombie
has already broken.
Wake and face the light,
or slumber into oblivion.
Mr. Darcy, you are
as unfeeling as the undead.
My word,
you give your opinion very
decidedly for so young a person.
Indeed, Lady Catherine.
Well, I would like to say
how dutifully behaved I think
Lady Anne has been
this morning.
A real credit
to the crest, actually.
Would you like a scone, dear?
I didn't mean
to frighten you.
You didn't.
No. Of course not.
Rosings is the safest place
in England.
You see, that's the problem.
Aristos feel invincible
within their great houses,
but how wrong they are.
Their hubris
will be their downfall.
"Downfall"?
You act as if the undead
had already defeated us.
I think you and I understand
each other, Liz Bennet.
Well, the way you championed
me earlier, I thought...
Mr. Darcy's treatment of you
has been utterly despicable, but...
No more despicable than his
treatment of you and your family.
I don't
understand you, sir.
It was Darcy that persuaded Bingley
to stay clear of your sister
and leave Netherfield.
Why?
Because he believes your sister
be inferior to his friend.
Darcy also convinced Bingley
that she is after his fortune
and doesn't truly love him.
How could you
possibly know this?
Men talk.
Darcy brags about it
with his intimates.
Miss Bennet,
run away with me.
You have crossed
a line, sir.
We're far beyond
lines now, Miss Bennet.
Take heed of the parson,
Miss Bennet.
The day of reckoning
is upon us.
Charlotte?
Charlotte?
Mr. Darcy.
Miss Bennet.
You've finally arisen.
How fortuitous.
There are some words
I must say.
Please do be seated.
Miss Bennet, although I know many
consider you to be decidedly inferior,
as a matter of your birth,
your family, and your circumstances,
my feelings will
not be repressed.
In vain have I struggled.
I have come to feel for you a most
ardent admiration and regard,
which has overcome
my better judgment.
So now I ask
you most fervently
to end my turmoil and
consent to be my wife.
If I could feel gratitude,
I would now thank you,
but I cannot.
I never desired
your good opinion,
and you have certainly
bestowed it most unwillingly.
Might I be informed why,
with so little endeavor at
civility, I am rejected?
You intentionally ruined the
happiness of my most beloved sister.
Do you deny it?
I have no wish to deny it.
I did everything in my power to
separate my friend from your sister.
How could you?
Because I perceived
his attachment to her
to be far deeper
than hers to him.
I believed her
to be indifferent.
Indifferent? She's shy!
Did you suggest
to Mr. Bingley
that his fortune had some
bearing on the matter?
I wouldn't do your
sister the dishonor,
though it was suggested.
By Miss Bingley?
By your mother,
at the ball.
Your character was revealed to
me many months ago by Wickham
as I heard of his scandalous
misfortunes at your hand.
Oh, yeah. Mr. Wickham's misfortunes
have been very great indeed.
You withhold the advantages that
you know were designed for him.
This is your opinion of me?
Then I thank you
for explaining it so fully.
You could not have made
the offer of your hand
in any possible way that would
have tempted me to accept it.
I had not known you a month
before I felt that you were
the last man in the world
whom I could ever be
prevailed on to marry.
You've said
quite enough, madam.
I fully comprehend
your feelings
and now have only to be ashamed
of what my own have been.
Please forgive me,
and accept my best wishes
for your health
and happiness.
Hello. Good afternoon.
Wonderful to be back.
Oh, heavens.
What happened, Lizzy?
This is an antique.
Irreplaceable.
Lady Catherine herself
delivered this to me.
Mr. Darcy...
It's from the shores of China.
Mr. Darcy came
by the cottage?
Came here?
Fabulous.
This will need
clearing up, Elizabeth.
"Dear
Miss Elizabeth Bennet,
"I am not writing
to renew the sentiments
"which were so
disgusting to you,
"but to address the two offenses
that you accused me of.
"I did not intentionally
wound your sister.
"It was a most
unfortunate consequence
"of protecting
my dearest friend.
"Mr. Bingley's feelings
for Miss Bennet
"were beyond any I had
ever witnessed in him,
"or indeed even
thought him capable of.
"The evening of the dance
at Netherfield,
"after overhearing your mother
coldly state her intention
"of having all her daughtes
marry favorably,
"I persuaded Bingley
of the unfitness of the match.
"If I have wounded Miss Bennet's
feelings, it was unknowingly done.
"As to your other accusation,
of having injured Mr. Wickham,
"no sooner had my father
made clear his intention
"to leave Mr. Wickham
a handsome sum,
"than Mr. Darcy was mysteriously
infected by the plague.
"It was left to me, his son,
to provide a merciful ending.
"Still, I gave Wickham the
inheritance my father left.
"Wickham squandered it.
"Whereupon he demanded
more and more money,
"until I eventually refuse.
"Thereafter he severed
all ties with me.
"Last summer he began a relationship
with my 15-year-old sistr
"and convinced her to elop.
"Mr. Wickham's prime target
"was her inheritance
of £30,000,
"but revenging himself on me was
a strong additional inducement.
"Fortunately, I was able
to persuade my sister
"of Mr. Wickham's
ulterior motives
"before it was too late.
"I hope this helps explan
"and perhaps mitigate
my behavior in your eyes.
"Of all the weapons
in the world,
"I now know love
to be the most dangerous.
"For I have suffered
a mortal wound.
"When did I fall so deeply
under your spell, Miss Bennet?
"I cannot fix
the hour or the spot
"or the look or the words
which laid the foundatio.
"I was in the middle
before I knew I had bega.
"What a proud fool I was.
"I have faced the harsh truth,
"that I can never hope
to win your love in this life,
"and so have sought solae
in combat.
"I write to you
from the siege of London.
"There is now a cunning design
to the zombie attacks.
"I sense a dark
hand is at work here,
"guiding the enemy,
Miss Bennet.
"By taking London, they've increased
their ranks a hundredfol.
Come on, lads!
"Now we endeavor to keep them
trapped within the great wall."
This wasn't the random
act of a mindless horde.
They've struck the Palace
and both Houses.
They cut off our head before
we could cut off theirs.
Keep fighting.
Come on, men!
"If we should fail to contain them
and they breach Hingham Bridge,
"it'll be as if
a great dam has broken,
"and they'll reach
Hertfordshire swiftly.
"And in overwhelming numbers.
"Dear Miss Bennet,
I implore you to be ready."
Lizzy!
Liz!
Jane!
Jane...
Jane, what is it?
Wickham's
run off with Lydia.
She's barely
more than a child.
I never could have imagined
the man to be so improper,
to be such a blaggard.
What are we to do?
St. Lazarus.
I know where she is.
You have a very
small estate here.
And yet we endure it.
I have urgent business
to attend to.
A falsehood of a most scandalous
nature has reached me,
that you intend to be united
with my own nephew, Mr. Darcy.
Is this true?
I do not possess your
frankness, Your Ladyship.
You may ask questions,
I may not choose to answer.
Let me be rightly
understood, Miss Bennet.
Darcy has been promised
since infancy to my daughter.
Well, then you can have no reason
to suppose he made me an offer.
Are you engaged
to him or not?
I'm not.
Hmm...
And will you promise me never to
enter into such an engagement?
I will make
no such promise.
Then I shall protect the
dignity of a far superior man.
Do you dare
to face me in combat?
I do not.
For to take arms
against you, My Lady,
would be to take
arms against England.
Quite right.
My proxy will have
to suffice.
Wilhelm.
Miss Bennet,
do you concede?
I do not.
My courage always rises at every
attempt to intimidate me.
Do you still refuse
to oblige me?
I do!
I do not know which I admire
more, Elizabeth Bennet.
Your skill as a warrior,
or your resolve as a woman.
They've got her
in The In-Between, Papa.
Lydia's honor
is at stake.
Stop him, Liz. He's going
after Lydia and Wickham.
Wait, Papa.
What's right to be done
cannot be done too soon.
But you don't even
know where she is. I do.
I promise you
I won't forsake Lydia.
I'll go with you.
No, you must stay here
to help protect Longbourn.
Ride at once.
Both of you.
I will take the rest of your
family back with me to Rosings.
There's no safer
place in England.
Collect your people.
This bridge
is closed!
It's too dangerous to cross.
All of London's fallen
to the zombies.
We have urgent business
on the other side.
This bridge is rigged
with all the explosives
left in England.
It's to be detonated
tomorrow at dawn
when the last squadron
withdraw from The In-Between.
Our boys can't
hold them much longer.
If the undead of London
take the bridge,
the rest of England
will surely be lost.
Nevertheless,
we must cross over.
Zombie protocols
in effect!
One, seek out and destroy
any remaining undead.
Two, any of the fallen
with intact skulls
must have their brains
perforated or crushed
to ensure they do not
rise again as the undead!
Bloody hell...
Fie, damnable scarf!
Hello, Miss Bennet.
Potter's field.
Yes. Quite.
Pardon?
This.
What we're standing on,
it's an unmarked
zombie graveyard.
Yes. Of course.
Miss Bennet, what possible
cause could the two of you have
for leaving Hertfordshire
and entering into The In-Between?
If adventures will not befall a
young lady in her own village,
she must seek them abroad.
We had no choice.
Wickham has
run off with Lydia.
He has taken her to where
his "zombie aristocrats" congregate.
St. Lazarus.
St. Lazarus?
I know it well.
I saw it razed to the
ground five days ago.
Your sister couldn't
possibly have survived.
I'm profoundly sorry
for your loss.
Colonel Darcy.
We need you at the command tent.
I fear I must depart for
Hingham Bridge immediately.
Of course.
Let's see how
reasonable his aristocrats are
after their appetites
have been whet.
On my mark.
Now.
Dawn breaks
at 5:00 tomorrow.
I'll make it back.
Of course you will, old man.
The order must be given
at first light.
No matter what.
I'll give the order.
I fear I should not have
confided in Darcy.
Fear the hordes of ravenous
unmentionables that are swarming our way.
Liz, London has already fallen and
the Grand Barrier burns as we speak.
Hingham Bridge
is behind us.
London's over there.
Which direction are you looking in,
Mr. Bingley?
St. Lazarus?
Darcy lied...
To spare you.
He'd risk anything
for you, Miss Bennet.
Lizzy!
Don't hang about.
Go on.
Soldiers
wouldn't do that.
Nor would I...
Who would steal the brains
of dead soldiers?
Almighty Lazarus,
to whom all souls are open.
Breathe life into our hearts,
by the insertion of your divine spirit.
"I am the resurrection
and the life.
"He that believeth in me..."
Mr. Darcy...
It's all right.
He said you'd come.
Wickham said you'd come.
Mr. Darcy...
Bastard.
My God,
you're so predictable.
I knew by taking young Lydia,
you'd have to protect the Bennets' honor.
So, come to
kill me then, Fitz?
On the contrary,
I've come to
make you an offer.
The Bennets have authorized me
to offer you a commission
of £10,000
to return Lydia and
leave England for good.
How noble of you to deliver
the Bennets' offer, Fitz,
but I'm afraid
my answer is no.
And is there no
financial inducement
that could convince you to do
the honorable thing, George?
None.
You see, money is of
no use to me now.
Is that your father's watch?
Yes.
Give it to me.
No.
Bloody hell!
Bloody hell!
Mr. Darcy, please!
What have you done, Darcy?
I fed them!
Godspeed, Georgie.
All of you, go to the bridge! Now!
Go to the bridge!
Lydia, listen to me. You have
to get across Hingham Bridge.
But Mr. Darcy,
you have to come.
As long as Wickham lives,
England is in peril. Go, Lydia. Go!
All of you,
Hingham Bridge!
I conquered
London, Darcy.
Did you really think
you could defeat me?
I always have.
You're
a traitor, George.
No, Fitz. I'm a king!
Oh, my God.
Lydia!
Lydia!
It's time, sir.
So it is.
Rider!
Wait!
Lydia,
where are the others?
You fool. I've been
one of them all along.
If I had the living
your father intended me,
I never would have
been in the army,
I never would
have been infected.
This is your doing, Darcy!
Suppressing my
hunger was easy.
They needed God, I had my
hatred of you to sustain me.
The Four Horsemen
have risen from Hell!
The zombie apocalypse
is here.
I am the one the undead
have been waiting for.
The one to lead them.
Every life I take,
every atrocity I commit,
is on your head!
Keep your eyes
peeled, lads!
- We can't delay any longer, sir.
- No!
The undead will have reached the bridge soon,
and then it will be too late.
They're not back yet!
You must wait, Bingley!
Detonate the bridge.
Give the order.
Give the order.
Yes, sir.
Four!
Three!
Two!
One!
Liz!
Liz!
Mr. Darcy.
The very first moment
I beheld you,
my heart was irrevocably gone.
Raise the gate!
Lady Catherine, might I
take this opportunity
to compliment you
on your pantaloons?
And your eye patch. It's very fetching.
Is it function or fashion?
Function.
Your Ladyship.
Guess who's speaking with
Papa in the library? It's...
Mr. Bingley.
Lady Catherine.
This is all rather embarrassing,
but I would like to request the
privilege of speaking with Miss Jane.
Alone.
Mr. Darcy.
My favorite nephew,
who lay unconscious
for so long,
that when we heard
you'd risen, we'd feared
you'd joined the ranks
of the undead.
Any word from the canal?
It's holding
for the time being.
Yes!
Jane said yes.
Would you excuse me?
Quick! Quick, quick!
This is so exciting!
Jane!
Keep going!
Hurry up, Lydia!
Miss Bennet.
Mr. Darcy.
You look as though
you're fully mended.
I am. Thank you.
If it wasn't for you,
I'd have surely perished.
You have saved me
in more ways than one.
What you said to me
on Hingham Bridge...
You heard me?
I did.
It gave me hope.
Of what?
That your feelings towards
me may have changed.
However, one word
from you now
will silence me
on this subject forever.
You are the love of my life,
Elizabeth Bennet.
So I ask you now,
half in anguish, half in hope,
will you do me
the great, great honor
of taking me
for your husband?
Yes.
Yes.
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here tody
in the sight of God
to join together
this man and this woman,
and this man and this woman,
in holy matrimony.
I now pronounce
you man and wife,
and man and wife.
You may now kiss Mr. Darcy...
The brides.
You may now kiss the brides.
Oh...
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for coming.
I'm so happy!
♪ Ring-a-round the rosie
♪ A pocket full of posies
♪ A-tishoo! A-tishoo!
♪ We all fall down
♪ Walking through the foret
♪ A monster stands before s
♪ Another there, another
♪ They all rise up
♪ Ring around the soul, please
♪ Lift your musket calmly
♪ Bludgeon! Bludgeon!
♪ They all fall down
♪ Ring-a-around to safety
♪ Infection is a pity
♪ Your father or your mothr
♪ They nearly break your pram
♪ Ring-a-round the rosie
♪ A pocket full of posies
♪ A-tishoo! A-tishoo!
♪ We all fall down
on the bridge!
Battle arms, engage!
It is a truth
universally acknowledged
that a zombie
in possession of brains
must be in want
of more brains.
Never was this
truth more plain
than in the recent attacs
at Netherfield Park,
in which an entire househod
was slaughtered
by a horde of the living dead
during a whist party.
Who goes there?
Who goes there?
Darcy.
Colonel Darcy.
No zombie bite marks
on this pristine, young body.
Father.
How were you able to discern that the
wound on my rib was from fencing?
Been at this
a long time, my son.
I have no wound.
Lovely bid, Mr. Kingston!
More sherry for
Mr. Kingston please!
Mrs. Featherstone.
I'm afraid Mr. Darcy's here
to see you, ma'am.
Darcy?
Carry on.
We have absolutely
nothing to hide.
Please, everyone. Enjoy.
Mr. Darcy.
Colonel Darcy,
Mrs. Featherstone.
I'm here on
official business.
There's been a report that
somebody here has been bitten.
Surely not.
There hasn't been
a zombie incident
in Hertfordshire
for over two years.
I assure you,
we've taken every precaution.
A newly-infected zombie
is almost impossible
to detect.
Until they've ingested
their first human brains,
at which point, the transformation
accelerates with every subsequent kill.
Yes.
We are all well aware
of how it works,
Colonel Darcy.
Well, are you
quite satisfied?
Quite.
Might I play a hand?
Of course.
Good evening.
So, shall we?
A potion?
Flies, ma'am.
I beg your pardon?
Carrion flies.
They are in possession
of but one truly enviable talent.
The ability to detect
dead flesh.
Well, I've won the trick.
Very crafty play,
Mr. Kingston.
I dare say, the buzzing
is frightfully loud.
It's not the buzzing that should
concern you, madam.
But rather, when
the buzzing stops.
Oh, dear.
One-nil, Darcy.
I'm going to be faint.
Is there anyone else present
whom he would have had
the opportunity to infect?
A family member, perhaps?
Good evening.
Who would dare
just leave a zombie head
in the middle of the floor?
It's his head!
Get it away from me.
But Mr. Kingston's
niece is here.
There was no need
to put that girl
through Mr. Darcy's
interrogation!
Cassandra, come back!
Annabelle?
Where are you?
Annabelle?
It wasn't always
like this, my dear daughters.
As the century began,
Britannia was rich with the
fruits of worldwide trade.
From the colonies there cae
not just silks and spices,
but a virulent and
abominable plague.
Naturally, many suspected
the French were to blame.
Definitely the French.
- Are you surprised?
- No.
Once bitten,
the newly-infected were filled
with an insatiable hunger
for the brains of the living.
Millions perished,
only to rise again as legions
of implacable undead.
So certain did it seem
the end of days had come
that even the Four Horsemen
of the Apocalypse
are said to have
ascended from Hell.
To protect the living,
the Grand Barrier was buil,
a 100-foot wall
encircling London.
Then excavation began
on the Royal Canal,
a vast moat 30 fathoms deep
surrounding both
the city and its walls.
The land twixt the two
fortifications became known
- as The In-Between.
- The In-Between.
At this time,
it became fashionable
to study the deadly arts
of the Orient.
Japan for the wealthy.
China for the wise.
In the Second Battle of Kent,
one of the bridges across the
Royal Canal was breached.
Ravenous zombie hordes massacred
every villager of The In-Between.
It was said, the sight of this
slaughter drove young King George ma.
When the battle
was finally won,
he ordered the destructin of
all the bridges, save one.
Hingham Bridge,
which to this day,
remains the only means
by which to cross
the Royal Canal.
There's Lady Catherine.
Many believed the enemy
was finally vanquished.
The gentry began to leave the safe
confines of London's defenses
for their newly-fortified
country estates.
But vigilance is still
of the essence.
Remember this, keep your
swords as sharp as your wit.
For the ultimate battle between
the living and the undead
has yet to be staged.
Mr. Bennet!
Mr. Bennet!
Mr. Bennet, have you heard
that Netherfield Park is occupied again?
By a Mr. Bingley.
A young, single man
of large fortune.
Mrs. Long says his income is
four or five thousand a year.
He is attending
the village dance tonight.
How does this concern
our warrior daughters?
Oh, how
can you be so tiresome?
You know I mean for him
to marry one of them.
Daughters do not dance well
with masticated brains, Mrs. Bennet.
You, sir, have already put them
at a decided social disadvantage
by insisting they do their
combat training in China
as opposed to Japan!
The Chinese deadly
arts have no equal.
I, for one, would trade nothing
for my Shaolin training.
You mustn't speak
like that, Lizzy.
I should like to
go to the dance.
Do you think Mr. Bingley's handsome?
With his income, Lydia, you'd think him
handsome if he had half a zombie face.
Sorry.
You'll make me
very, very happy.
Well, I suppose,
if we all go...
No! I don't care
to be paraded
like a herd of heifers
at a farm auction.
That's because you're the
cow who's least proficient
in the art of tempting
the other sex.
Moo.
Do not mistake my indulgence
for a relaxation in discipline!
They must find
husbands, Mr. Bennet.
For as you know too well, they shall
inherit nothing when you pass.
Their immediate survival
is my present concern.
Pish.
Well, I'd say you're easily
five times as beautiful
as any other woman
in this room.
Stop it, Liz.
It's true.
These girls
don't stand a chance.
They say Mr. Bingley brought a tribe
of London dandies with him.
Smile, Liz.
I will later.
There's the handsome
new master of Netherfield.
Oh!
Where?
It was my understanding that Captain
Bingley was in want of a wife.
Oh, he is.
Those are his sisters,
Caroline Bingley and Louisa Hurst.
They say he inherited
nearly £100,000.
What a magnificent
husband he'd make.
Charlotte Lucas,
do you think of nothing else?
Zombies or no zombies, all women
must think of marriage, Lizzy.
I shall never relinquish
my sword for a ring.
For the right man,
you would.
The right man
wouldn't ask me to.
Mr. Darcy.
Rather an imposing presence.
Owns half of Derbyshire.
£10,000 a year, at least.
What?
Back to your own family,
Charlotte Lucas.
Now, Liz, you
look very nice.
Well, thank you.
Don't act so surprised.
Out, out.
Out. Smile.
Welcome, dear friend.
How are you?
How are you, Charles?
I'm very well. How was the
journey from Derbyshire?
Fine.
Good.
So this is Meryton?
She's the most beautiful
creature I ever beheld.
She smiles too much.
She...
She's an angel.
Oh, my word.
Charles Bingley, pleased
to make your acquaintance.
Mrs. Bennet. We've heard so
much about you, Mr. Bingley.
My daughters,
all of impeccable character.
Well... May I introduce my friend,
Mr. Darcy of Derbyshire!
Are you enjoying Hertfordshire,
Mr. Bingley?
Very much.
I've heard the library at
Netherfield is one of the finest.
Library? Is it?
Miss Bennet, may I be so bold as
to request the next two dances?
If you are not
otherwise engaged.
I am not engaged.
Good for you,
Mr. Bingley.
You chose the loveliest
of my daughters.
Mother!
Well...
I consider dancing to be the first
refinement of polished society.
Don't you agree, Mr. Darcy?
No.
Every savage can dance.
Why, I imagine even zombies could
do it to some degree of success.
Good evening.
You know, I love
to read, too, actually.
I have read.
Please don't forget
our next dance, Miss Bennet.
Darcy, I hate to see you just
standing there. You must dance.
Oh, you know I detest it when I'm
not acquainted with my partner.
Oh, well...
Darcy.
You are dancing with the
only handsome girl here.
Oh, but one of her
sisters is also very pretty.
Dare I say,
very agreeable.
Well, she's tolerable but...
Tolerable?
Yes, tolerable.
But not handsome
enough to tempt me.
Nor any other man here,
apparently.
Darcy, your standards, my dear fellow...
Oh, that is unfortunate.
What a lack of grace.
Mr. Darcy, you're
an insufferable prig.
Fitzwilliam Darcy?
I quite detest the man.
So high and so conceited
that I can't endure him.
Indeed.
I wouldn't dance
with him if he were...
Mrs. Featherstone?
You're undead.
I've come to tell you...
What happened, Lizzy?
I narrowly
saved her life.
From Mrs. Featherstone?
From an undead
Mrs. Featherstone.
I found her to be
exceedingly tolerable.
Well done, Darcy.
Very heroic.
She was trying
to tell me something.
A recipe, perhaps?
Laugh as much
as you choose.
But you shall not
laugh me out of my opinion.
She posed no threat.
We are under attack!
Ladies!
Her face is rendered
uncommonly intelligent
by the beautiful
expression of her dark eyes.
And I'm forced to acknowledge her
figure as both light and pleasing.
And that her arms
are surprisingly muscular,
yet not so much
as to be unfeminine.
Oh, Lizzy, I never saw
such happy manners.
So much ease with
such good breeding.
I give you leave
to like him.
You've liked many a stupider person.
He's just what
a young man ought to be.
Good-humored,
lively, handsome, and...
Quite rich, which a young man
ought likewise to be,
if he possibly can.
Not as rich as Darcy.
I saw how you
looked at him
when he first
walked in the dance...
As if I hated him?
As if you liked him.
Until his manners
gave me disgust!
He acted as if he were above our
company and above being pleased.
Admit you
find him handsome.
Handsome is as
handsome does.
Mr. Darcy is therefore
a very ill-looking man.
Girls, you will
knock the house down!
Never have I encountered a
man so consumed by his own pride!
One cannot wonder
that so very fine a young man
with family, fortune,
and everything in his favor
should think
highly of himself.
If I may so express it,
he has a right
to be proud.
I could easily
forgive his pride,
if he had not
mortified mine.
Pride is a very common failing,
I believe.
Vanity and pride
are different things,
though the words are
often used synonymously.
A person may be proud
without being vain.
Pride relates more
to our opinion of ourselves,
and vanity to what we would
have others think of us.
A letter for
Miss Jane Bennet.
He saved you
from a zombie.
Mrs. Featherstone
was quite civilized.
Yield!
Never!
She was a zombie, Lizzy.
Thank goodness he was there.
Lizzy!
No, Lizzy!
No, no, no! Stop it,
Lizzy! That's not fair!
Lydia!
The Bingleys have
invited me to tea.
- Lydia, come on.
- Well, of course they have.
Yeah. Down there.
What?
Truly, I'd much rather
go by coach.
You had much better
go on horseback,
for it seems
likely to rain,
and then you must
stay all night.
That would be
a good scheme
if you were sure they
would not send her home.
Mother, I really
would prefer the carriage.
Jane, Mr. Bingley
undoubtedly likes you.
But in nine cases
out of 10,
a woman had far better show
more affection than she feels.
Enough.
Go quickly now. The zombies
spring easily from the wet earth.
Merciful God.
This cannot be.
Where is she?
She must be
closely monitored
and her room locked
at all times...
That is
a little excessive, Darcy.
Miss Elizabeth Bennet.
Did you walk
all the way here?
Yes.
How is my sister?
She was feverish
and slept ill last night.
I fear she has the flu.
Or worse.
I detest illness. It keeps one in
a continual state of inelegance.
Quite.
May I tend to her?
Of course. Edwin,
show Miss Bennet the way.
Thank you.
I will not make
the same mistake I made
at Mrs. Featherstone's
whist party, Bingley.
Oh, Janey.
Miss Bennet.
The physician has arrived.
Please.
She got caught
in the downpour?
Yes.
The wound, Doctor.
Her musket backfired.
I see
no indication of a bite.
That was never
in question.
I believe that
these belong to you.
Darcy, old bean,
you almost seem disappointed.
Louisa, you shouldn't have
played that spade.
I won! I won!
How is she?
She's fast asleep.
I'm sure she'll be quite well.
Please join us, Miss Bennet.
Thank you, but I'll
amuse myself with a book.
You prefer reading
to cards?
I prefer a great many things
to cards, Mr. Hurst.
One half of the world cannot
understand the pleasures of the other.
I don't speak Japanese.
No, of course.
You didn't train in Japan.
China, was it?
The Shaolin Temple
in Henan Province.
It was there that I learned to
endure all manner of discomfort.
May I inquire as to the
nature of this discomfort?
I would much rather
give you a demonstration.
Mr. Darcy, is your sister
much grown since the spring?
She is now about the same height
as Miss Elizabeth Bennet.
I don't believe
I've ever met a girl
who was so extremely
accomplished.
The word "accomplished" is far too
liberally applied to young ladies today,
but my sister Georgiana
does deserve that distinction.
Not only is she a master of the
female arts but the deadly as well.
I cannot boast of knowing
more than half a dozen
in the whole range of my acquaintance
that is thus accomplished.
Nor I, I'm sure.
Then, Mr. Darcy,
you must comprehend
a great deal in your idea
of an accomplished woman.
I do.
A woman must have a thorough
knowledge of music, singing,
drawing, dancing
and the modern languages.
She must be well-trained in the
fighting styles of the Kyoto masters,
and the weapons and tactics
of modern Europe.
Or the term would
only be half-deserved.
And you know
six such women?
I wonder now at
your knowing any.
Are you so severe
on your own sex?
A woman is either highly
trained or highly refined.
One cannot afford the luxury
of both in such times.
Ah...
L'Art de la guerre.
The Art of War.
Have you not read it
in its original Wu dialect?
Alas.
Then you've never read
The Art of War.
I should get back to Jane.
She is one
of those young ladies
who seeks to recommend
themselves to men
by undervaluing their own sex.
Undoubtedly.
I'm not
going to lie...
Oh, my word, girls,
regard how opulently
reappointed it has been.
He must be even more
wealthy than we imagined.
It would have cost
a small fortune, of course,
to get the zombie
blood out of the marble.
Mrs. Bennet,
Miss Bennet,
Miss Bennet and Miss Bennet.
Mrs. Bennet,
I am so glad to see you.
Oh, and sadly at
distressing circumstances.
Are you here
to take Jane home?
- No.
- Yes!
We must not trespass any
longer on your kindness.
Surely, she is too ill
to be moved.
She...
She does look very pale.
Bingley,
I must protest.
Bingley, please.
Carelessness when dealing
with a zombie infection
could lead to your
abrupt demise.
Arrogance
could lead to yours.
Your defect, Miss Bennet,
besides eavesdropping,
is to willfully
misunderstand people.
And yours is to be unjustly
prejudiced against them.
Come on, Eliza. Come on.
Mr. Bingley,
I know just the thing
to break this terrible
tension and...
And lift the spirits
of the county.
A ball at Netherfield.
Out of the question.
The security
arrangements alone...
It's a brilliant idea.
When Jane is recovered you shall,
if you please, name the day.
I should be honored.
All right.
Look at her.
We could've stayed on for
another week in that palace.
I'd risk a cold before
I'd risk Darcy's blade.
Oh, Mrs. Beacham's
orphanage fell.
There will be an addition
to our party for dinner tonight.
It would appear your
health is fully restored.
Quite recovered, Papa.
I know of no one
who is coming.
The person of whom I speak
is a certain gentleman.
Let me see.
Who is it?
"A certain gentleman."
What is that
odious man doing?
He is perusing
his future property.
See, this estate must, by law,
go to a male heir.
Now that "odious man,"
Mr. Collins,
may, the moment
I am dead,
toss you all out of this
house at his pleasure.
Tell me, to which of my fair
cousins do I owe the compliments
of the excellent, and I repeat,
excellent cooking?
My daughters were trained for battle, sir.
Not the kitchen.
Quite, Mr. Bennet.
My patroness is not only
the King's richest subject,
but deadliest.
Singularly dedicated to the
annihilation of the undead.
I assume you have all heard
of Lady Catherine de Bourgh?
She's the most deadly swordswoman
in all of Great Britain.
With the agility
of a black panther.
My humble abode abuts
Her Ladyship's estate, Rosings Park.
Was she ever married?
She has one daughter, Anne, who is
unfortunately of a sickly constitution.
Has Anne been presented?
Oh, no. No, Mrs. Bennet.
Her ill health prevents it.
I told Lady Catherine that
the court has been deprived
of its brightest ornament.
I have a talent, you see, for delivering
these very delicate compliments
with an unstudied air.
It would seem, sir, that all
you lack now is a wife.
I must confess,
Mrs. Bennet,
the fairest wifely choices
be right here in this room.
I declare that I am
enchanted by
your daughter, Jane.
And request to speak
to her alone, if I may.
Oh, dear Parson.
I'm afraid Jane
is already spoken for.
We expect a serious
proposal imminently.
Oh, fuddle.
But Liz is
quite available,
and almost
as fair as Jane.
What?
Is there absolutely
no negotiating over Jane?
The early bird catches the worm, Mr.
Collins. Oh, indeed.
Be mindful of your talent
for the delicate compliment, sir.
Oh, no. Yeah...
Why, yes...
She is almost as fair
as the other one.
Splendid.
Thank you, ladies.
Settle down.
Now, I thought
this morning,
I might read to you from Fordyce's
Sermons To Young Women.
What a treat.
What a treat.
"Chapter One, The Home."
We're walking to Meryton
to visit Aunt Phillips.
So long as Jane and Lizzy are
willing to accompany you.
We most certainly are.
And, er, Mr. Collins,
of course.
Well, I should
be delighted,
but only if Mr. Bennet will consent
to release me from my reading.
With a heavy heart, sir.
Mr. Bennet, I am
susceptible to flattery,
and you, sir,
are very charming.
Come along, ladies.
Miss Elizabeth,
how charming you look toda.
Let us look in the shop
windows of Meryton
and we can buy
some new pots and pans
to take the place
of your swords and daggers.
Oh?
Is there some sort
of trouble?
Oh, it appears
there is.
Penny McGregor's
carriage.
Help!
Someone's trapped inside.
- Jane.
- Please!
There's been an accident!
Please help me!
Anyone! Please!
Help!
There was a horrible accident,
but I survived.
I survived, Janey.
Not in the traditional sense
of the word.
It appears Miss McGregor won't
be delivering any more lamp oil.
I must confess,
I was unaware that
zombies possessed
the required acuity
to set such traps.
Before we know it, they'll
be running for Parliament.
Come along.
Fantastic. We must try and
make elevenses, actually.
Come along, Elizabeth.
We mustn't dawdle, we can't be late.
Miss Bennet.
Thank you, Mr. Collins.
Allow me.
Gallantry isn't dead.
Come, come now. We mustn't be late.
Keep your eyes
peeled for zombies!
No one walks alone!
This must
be the extra militia
they stationed
here in Meryton.
Oh, Kitty, look at him.
Good day.
How are you?
Kitty. Lydia.
Hi.
Lieutenant Denny!
Who's that with him?
Miss Lydia Bennet and Miss Catherine Bennet.
Lieutenant Wickham,
who has just been assigned
to our Meryton regiment
to deal with
the zombie resurgence.
I bet you're fearful handsome
in your regimentals.
Kitty, Lydia.
Miss Jane Bennet, Miss Elizabeth Bennet,
may I introduce...
George Wickham.
He's a lieutenant.
This is our cousin,
Mr. Collins.
Parson Collins.
Aren't we overdue
at the Phillips'?
Walk us.
I fear I have
a prior engagement.
Mr. Wickham?
Yes. Enchanted.
She is baking,
so we mustn't be late.
Lydia.
I said she is baking.
I was very keen to be on time
because, apparently, Aunt Phillips'
muffins are splendid, you see.
Is that so?
Yeah, and Lady Catherine
herself abhors tardiness,
and actually it's instilled me
with a real sense of order.
Thank you
for accompanying us
and enduring
my younger sisters.
It's my pleasure.
Are you going to be stationed
here all winter, Mr. Wickham?
Well, that depends entirely
on what the manky dreadfuls
have in store for us,
Miss Bennet.
Mr. Bingley.
Oh...
We were just
on our way to Longbourn.
Mr. Bingley,
you promised
you'd throw a ball
at Netherfield.
Are you quite recovered?
She is.
Then I shall begin
the preparations immediately
for the most glorious ball
Hertfordshire has ever seen.
Can
Lieutenant Wickham come?
Of course, an invitation shall be
sent to all my fellow officers.
Excuse me.
Good day, Miss Jane.
There you are,
my beautiful nieces.
Oh!
Please join us, Mr. Wickham.
No. Duty calls, I'm afraid.
Oh...
Um...
I must know, Mr. Wickham,
what is amiss
between you and Mr. Darcy?
Are you much
acquainted with him?
More than I wish to be.
He's been here for
less than a month
and is already the least
popular man in the county.
Yes, it always gives me
great pain to see him.
I have been connected
with his family from infancy.
My father managed
the late Mr. Darcy's estate.
Darcy and I
grew up together.
His father treated
me like a second son.
I cannot begin to do
justice to his kindness.
He bequeathed me with the
best living in his gift.
I had my heart set
on joining the church.
But when he was slain
in the Second Battle of Kent,
Darcy ignored his wishes and
gave my living to another man.
What could have induced
him to behave so cruelly?
Pride.
He thought me too low to be
worth his consideration.
I loved his father dearly,
so, I can never expose Darcy
or challenge him to a duel.
Come now, Lizzy!
We must plan our trip
to the North Country.
I'll be right there.
Well, perhaps I shall see you
at Mr. Bingley's ball?
Perhaps.
I'll be there.
Oh, dear.
Beg your pardon.
Mr. Wickham, you came.
As I said I would.
I feared that Mr. Darcy's presence
would keep you away.
If Darcy wishes to avoid me,
he must go, not I.
I have found you,
Miss Bennet!
Sorry, and you are?
Wickham.
Oh, Mr. Wickham.
I never forget a face,
especially one as angelic
as Miss Bennet's.
I do hope you haven't
forgotten our dance?
Of course not,
Parson Collins.
Oh, allow me.
Thank you, Mr. Wickham.
Lady Catherine herself has praised
me on my lightness of foot.
Wonder, sir, how you
found the time
to hone such delicacy
in your steps.
Flattery will get you everywhere,
Miss Bennet.
Dear...
The dance seems to be
getting away with us.
I think it only right and
proper that every clergyman
should set the example
for matrimony in the parish.
Ah...
This is my favorite
moment of the dance.
And now the party's
in full swing.
Such splendor
in the air.
A parson may
no longer lead
a chaste life,
my fair cousin.
Mr. Collins, please keep
your voice down.
Splendid.
Splendid work, everyone.
Thank you for
your attention.
Everyone did valiantly.
Miss Bennet, it is my intention
to remain very close to you
throughout all the evening.
May I have the next dance?
Yes.
Mr. Darcy,
this is Mr. Collins.
Parson Collins.
Parson Collins.
Your...
Uh... He's my cousin.
Mr. Darcy, I have made
the most incredible discovery...
Nay. Tosh.
An extraordinary discovery, sir.
You are the nephew
of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
I know.
Well, I know you know.
Allow me to do the honor
of introducing myself...
Please excuse me.
Please excuse me.
I am Parson Collins.
My humble abode
abuts Her Ladyship's...
I predict a wedding
in under three months.
He's such a charming
young man,
and so...
Well, rich.
Jane marrying Bingley is bound
to throw her younger sisters
in the way of other rich men.
And then...
Mother,
it's time to go.
Don't be so impertinent.
What is Mr. Darcy to me, pray,
that I should be afraid of him?
I can't find
Papa or Lydia anywhere.
Papa will be
in the library
and I'll find
that stupid girl.
Edwin, where is dessert?
Ah!
Hello, Mrs...
Hello, Miss Bennett.
Sir?
Sir?
We must find
Darcy immediately.
There's no time.
Mr. Bingley.
Yes.
All the lanterns
have been snuffed out.
Oh, mind your step,
Miss Bennet.
Mr. Bingley.
You're Mrs. Beacham's orphans.
We were, Miss Bennet.
How did you get in here?
Our new friend
showed us the way in.
Mr. Darcy!
Was he bitten?
Was he bitten?
No.
No, he fell
and hit his head.
Bingley.
Bingley, wake up.
Come on, chap.
Your abilities as a warrior are
beyond reproach, Mr. Darcy.
If only you were
as good a friend.
"Dear Jane, we have decided
to close down Netherfield
"and return to London.
"We are not sure
when we shall return."
The Bingleys just closed
down the house and left?
I don't understand. Why would he
not know when he is to return?
According to Caroline Bingley,
"Mr. Darcy is impatient
to see his sister.
"My brother admires
her greatly already.
"He will now be
seeing her frequently
"and on the most
intimate footing.
"Am I wrong, my dearest Jane,
in indulging the hope of an event
"which will secure
the happiness of so many?"
Obviously, she knows her
brother is in love with you,
and wants him
to marry Miss Darcy.
If Mr. Bingley truly loves me,
nothing can keep us apart.
No one who has ever seen you
together can doubt his affection.
I'm sure Mr. Bingley
will be back soon.
And that there's a good reason
for all this.
Ladies.
Good morrow.
Mr. Collins would like a private
audience with your sister.
Lydia.
What, with Liz?
Out. Out. Everyone out.
Mama, please, he has
nothing to say. He can't...
Jane, please don't.
Please, please...
Ah...
Miss Elizabeth, as soon
as I entered the house
I singled you out as the
companion for my future life.
Oh, no.
I am convinced marrying you will
add very greatly to my happiness.
But, actually, I must add,
I will of course require you
to retire your warrior skills
as part of
the marital submission.
We absolutely can't have
swords in the home.
And now, Miss Elizabeth,
allow me to assure you
in the most animated language
of the violence, the sheer
violence of my affections.
Sir, I am honored by your proposal.
Thank you.
I am,
but I regret, I must refuse.
Lizzy, I insist
you marry Mr. Collins.
No!
Do not
worry, Mr. Collins.
She shall be
brought to reason.
- Oh, good.
- No.
Oh, no...
I'm terribly sorry.
Now, Elizabeth Bennet,
you get back there.
You get back there.
No.
And you face up to your future...
Excuse me. Mr. Bennet!
You must come and make Lizzy marry Mr.
Collins, for she refuses to have him!
Bugger.
Lizzy!
Lizzy, you will
marry Mr. Collins
or I shall never
speak to you again!
You talk to her.
Lizzy!
An unhappy alternative is before you.
Your mother will never
speak to you again
if you do not
marry Mr. Collins.
And I will never speak
to you again if you do.
Who will maintain you
when your father is dead?
No one, Elizabeth Bennet!
You shall become
a poor and pathetic spinster!
Anything.
Anything is to be
preferred or endured
rather than marrying
without affection!
Lizzy.
Lizzy, don't go
into the woods alone!
Lizzy!
I forbid you!
Elizabeth.
Mr. Wickham.
You vanished at the ball.
Yes.
I thought it would've been selfish of
me to seek an encounter with Darcy.
Would've ruined the ball
for anyone who witnessed it.
I am very sorry I lost the pleasure
of dancing with you, though.
Did you happen to see four
gentlemen pass this way?
In top hats?
You saw them?
No, but they were
undoubtedly pallbearers.
This is a cemetery.
Uh, Miss Bennet?
I want to take you somewhere
very special to me.
It's a secret place I've never
shown another living soul.
I stumbled upon it
quite by accident
when I was first stationed
in The In-Between.
But somehow, I believe I was always
destined to find it, Miss Bennet.
You go in. I'll join you
after I see to my horse.
Don't be afraid.
I'm not.
"And I brought
your fathers out of Egypt.
"And ye came unto the sea,
"and the Egyptians crowded their
fathers with chariots and horsemen
"to the Red Sea.
"And when they cried unto the Lord...
"...he put darkness between
you and the Egyptians,
"and brought this upon them.
"He that believeth in me,
"though he were dead,
"yet shall he live."
You're quite rude.
"And Jesus cried
out with a loud voice,
"'Lazarus, come out!'"
No, don't! Don't.
It's all right.
It's all right.
"Happy are those
who are called to his supper.
"The locusts
have no king.
"Yet all of them go forth,
marching in rank.
"What the cutting locust left,
the swarming locust has eaten.
"What the swarming locust...
Brains.
No. They're pigs' brains.
You have nothing to fear.
You see, if they
never consume human brains
they will never fully
transform into zombies.
St. Lazarus is the key
to finally ending
the struggle between
the living and the undead.
We must force some
kind of understanding
with the most advanced
among them.
Well, surely the Crown
will support such a venture.
The war has almost
bankrupted Great Britain.
I know not where to turn.
It's only a matter of time
before they outnumber us.
Rider at the gate!
Attention!
Liz?
Charlotte?
I didn't know
you were coming to visit.
I have some news.
I'm engaged to be
married to Mr. Collins.
You must be surprised.
I'm not. I'm relieved.
I believe that my chance
of happiness with him
is as fair as most
women can hope for.
And that's all you expect?
At 25, it's more
than I expect.
Charlotte, if you're
happy for you, then I am, too.
Well, I am to be
presented to Lady Catherine
and if I am to stay the night
at Mr. Collins' rectory,
I will require a chaperone.
Charlotte... She's said to be
quite an imposing figure.
And the thought of facing her without
you makes me deathly nervous.
So, please?
I'll come, but I have
one stipulation.
Anything.
Now,
when we meet Lady Catherine,
a simple curtsey will suffice.
Maintain eye contact, but don't
speak unless spoken to, please.
Lady Catherine's
famed Black Guard.
They can't move.
Here, look at this, you could
tickle him with a feather. Oh!
Lower the gate!
An extraordinary
sight, is it not? Oh!
Such splendor.
Lady Catherine
Smiting the Undead Lucif.
Majestic. Oh!
Elizabeth Bennet.
The Four Horsemen
of the Zombie Apocalypse.
When they appear,
the end of days is neigh.
This way, miss.
Parson Collins,
Miss Lucas, and Miss Bennet.
I'm sorry.
Lady Catherine.
Miss De Bourgh.
Lady Catherine.
So you are Elizabeth Bennet.
Um, yes.
I am, Your Ladyship.
This is my daughter.
Well,
it's very kind of you
to invite us over for tea,
Lady Catherine. Really.
Very grateful.
Mr. Darcy?
Miss Bennet.
You know my nephew?
Yes, I had
the tremendous pleasure
of meeting him
in Hertfordshire.
Mr. Wickham.
- Is this the soldier you spoke of?
- Yes.
Miss Bennet
requested he attend,
that he might
confer with Your Ladyship
about a strategy with which
to combat the scourge.
Mmm, a lieutenant? Really?
Indeed.
And tea
is brought up.
Oh! Shall we?
Oh, delighted to.
Please.
I have given you entry to the
wealthiest woman in the kingdom.
The rest is up to you.
Your Ladyship
has perhaps heard
that some of the stricken
have not succumbed
to the urge to feed
upon the living,
and in so doing have
maintained their human ways.
And they have
managed to resist this
most primal of
zombie urges, how?
Their iron-clad constitutions?
Yes, fortified by religious
piety and pigs' brains,
which they receive in communion
as the blood of Christ.
The pig brains quench their
appetite for human brains.
Oh, yes, of course.
The Crown's funds
have been drained.
You're here to
solicit money?
I am here to propose a venture
that would end the war forever.
These new zombies
can be reasoned with.
With the proper funding,
I believe we can cultivate trust
and even goodwill with this
new iteration of the undead,
who seem to possess
an inherent power
over the lower
ranks of their kind.
Zombie aristocrats?
Oh, yeah.
I prefer to think of
them as souls lost in purgatory.
The common hordes
look to them for leadership.
It takes just one of them
to realize their power
and then to lead
the hordes into battle...
The undead are like locusts.
Locusts.
They go forth and destroy.
They have no use for leaders.
Oh, um, except one. Actually.
Hmm?
Oh, well, um, according
to the Book of Revelation, actually,
the Antichrist
shall lead the undead
on the day that shall be
the last day of mankind.
How cheery, Collins.
Thank you, Lady Catherine.
Very generous. Franklin,
are there more scones?
If we could negotiate
with this select group of...
Aristocrats? To what end?
A treaty.
Appeasement?
Never.
Well, then the human
race is surely doomed.
Your Ladyship, the undead
will always multiply faster
than the living can procreate.
Nine months to make a baby,
then 16 years
to make a soldier,
and one raw second
to make a zombie.
You must realize, if they were to
organize, we cannot defeat them.
The only hope is to find a way
to coexist with them,
before they find
their Antichrist.
I have tolerated your presence
here long enough, Wickham.
Guards.
Please do remember
this moment,
and the opportunity
so glibly spurned.
The day of the zombie
has already broken.
Wake and face the light,
or slumber into oblivion.
Mr. Darcy, you are
as unfeeling as the undead.
My word,
you give your opinion very
decidedly for so young a person.
Indeed, Lady Catherine.
Well, I would like to say
how dutifully behaved I think
Lady Anne has been
this morning.
A real credit
to the crest, actually.
Would you like a scone, dear?
I didn't mean
to frighten you.
You didn't.
No. Of course not.
Rosings is the safest place
in England.
You see, that's the problem.
Aristos feel invincible
within their great houses,
but how wrong they are.
Their hubris
will be their downfall.
"Downfall"?
You act as if the undead
had already defeated us.
I think you and I understand
each other, Liz Bennet.
Well, the way you championed
me earlier, I thought...
Mr. Darcy's treatment of you
has been utterly despicable, but...
No more despicable than his
treatment of you and your family.
I don't
understand you, sir.
It was Darcy that persuaded Bingley
to stay clear of your sister
and leave Netherfield.
Why?
Because he believes your sister
be inferior to his friend.
Darcy also convinced Bingley
that she is after his fortune
and doesn't truly love him.
How could you
possibly know this?
Men talk.
Darcy brags about it
with his intimates.
Miss Bennet,
run away with me.
You have crossed
a line, sir.
We're far beyond
lines now, Miss Bennet.
Take heed of the parson,
Miss Bennet.
The day of reckoning
is upon us.
Charlotte?
Charlotte?
Mr. Darcy.
Miss Bennet.
You've finally arisen.
How fortuitous.
There are some words
I must say.
Please do be seated.
Miss Bennet, although I know many
consider you to be decidedly inferior,
as a matter of your birth,
your family, and your circumstances,
my feelings will
not be repressed.
In vain have I struggled.
I have come to feel for you a most
ardent admiration and regard,
which has overcome
my better judgment.
So now I ask
you most fervently
to end my turmoil and
consent to be my wife.
If I could feel gratitude,
I would now thank you,
but I cannot.
I never desired
your good opinion,
and you have certainly
bestowed it most unwillingly.
Might I be informed why,
with so little endeavor at
civility, I am rejected?
You intentionally ruined the
happiness of my most beloved sister.
Do you deny it?
I have no wish to deny it.
I did everything in my power to
separate my friend from your sister.
How could you?
Because I perceived
his attachment to her
to be far deeper
than hers to him.
I believed her
to be indifferent.
Indifferent? She's shy!
Did you suggest
to Mr. Bingley
that his fortune had some
bearing on the matter?
I wouldn't do your
sister the dishonor,
though it was suggested.
By Miss Bingley?
By your mother,
at the ball.
Your character was revealed to
me many months ago by Wickham
as I heard of his scandalous
misfortunes at your hand.
Oh, yeah. Mr. Wickham's misfortunes
have been very great indeed.
You withhold the advantages that
you know were designed for him.
This is your opinion of me?
Then I thank you
for explaining it so fully.
You could not have made
the offer of your hand
in any possible way that would
have tempted me to accept it.
I had not known you a month
before I felt that you were
the last man in the world
whom I could ever be
prevailed on to marry.
You've said
quite enough, madam.
I fully comprehend
your feelings
and now have only to be ashamed
of what my own have been.
Please forgive me,
and accept my best wishes
for your health
and happiness.
Hello. Good afternoon.
Wonderful to be back.
Oh, heavens.
What happened, Lizzy?
This is an antique.
Irreplaceable.
Lady Catherine herself
delivered this to me.
Mr. Darcy...
It's from the shores of China.
Mr. Darcy came
by the cottage?
Came here?
Fabulous.
This will need
clearing up, Elizabeth.
"Dear
Miss Elizabeth Bennet,
"I am not writing
to renew the sentiments
"which were so
disgusting to you,
"but to address the two offenses
that you accused me of.
"I did not intentionally
wound your sister.
"It was a most
unfortunate consequence
"of protecting
my dearest friend.
"Mr. Bingley's feelings
for Miss Bennet
"were beyond any I had
ever witnessed in him,
"or indeed even
thought him capable of.
"The evening of the dance
at Netherfield,
"after overhearing your mother
coldly state her intention
"of having all her daughtes
marry favorably,
"I persuaded Bingley
of the unfitness of the match.
"If I have wounded Miss Bennet's
feelings, it was unknowingly done.
"As to your other accusation,
of having injured Mr. Wickham,
"no sooner had my father
made clear his intention
"to leave Mr. Wickham
a handsome sum,
"than Mr. Darcy was mysteriously
infected by the plague.
"It was left to me, his son,
to provide a merciful ending.
"Still, I gave Wickham the
inheritance my father left.
"Wickham squandered it.
"Whereupon he demanded
more and more money,
"until I eventually refuse.
"Thereafter he severed
all ties with me.
"Last summer he began a relationship
with my 15-year-old sistr
"and convinced her to elop.
"Mr. Wickham's prime target
"was her inheritance
of £30,000,
"but revenging himself on me was
a strong additional inducement.
"Fortunately, I was able
to persuade my sister
"of Mr. Wickham's
ulterior motives
"before it was too late.
"I hope this helps explan
"and perhaps mitigate
my behavior in your eyes.
"Of all the weapons
in the world,
"I now know love
to be the most dangerous.
"For I have suffered
a mortal wound.
"When did I fall so deeply
under your spell, Miss Bennet?
"I cannot fix
the hour or the spot
"or the look or the words
which laid the foundatio.
"I was in the middle
before I knew I had bega.
"What a proud fool I was.
"I have faced the harsh truth,
"that I can never hope
to win your love in this life,
"and so have sought solae
in combat.
"I write to you
from the siege of London.
"There is now a cunning design
to the zombie attacks.
"I sense a dark
hand is at work here,
"guiding the enemy,
Miss Bennet.
"By taking London, they've increased
their ranks a hundredfol.
Come on, lads!
"Now we endeavor to keep them
trapped within the great wall."
This wasn't the random
act of a mindless horde.
They've struck the Palace
and both Houses.
They cut off our head before
we could cut off theirs.
Keep fighting.
Come on, men!
"If we should fail to contain them
and they breach Hingham Bridge,
"it'll be as if
a great dam has broken,
"and they'll reach
Hertfordshire swiftly.
"And in overwhelming numbers.
"Dear Miss Bennet,
I implore you to be ready."
Lizzy!
Liz!
Jane!
Jane...
Jane, what is it?
Wickham's
run off with Lydia.
She's barely
more than a child.
I never could have imagined
the man to be so improper,
to be such a blaggard.
What are we to do?
St. Lazarus.
I know where she is.
You have a very
small estate here.
And yet we endure it.
I have urgent business
to attend to.
A falsehood of a most scandalous
nature has reached me,
that you intend to be united
with my own nephew, Mr. Darcy.
Is this true?
I do not possess your
frankness, Your Ladyship.
You may ask questions,
I may not choose to answer.
Let me be rightly
understood, Miss Bennet.
Darcy has been promised
since infancy to my daughter.
Well, then you can have no reason
to suppose he made me an offer.
Are you engaged
to him or not?
I'm not.
Hmm...
And will you promise me never to
enter into such an engagement?
I will make
no such promise.
Then I shall protect the
dignity of a far superior man.
Do you dare
to face me in combat?
I do not.
For to take arms
against you, My Lady,
would be to take
arms against England.
Quite right.
My proxy will have
to suffice.
Wilhelm.
Miss Bennet,
do you concede?
I do not.
My courage always rises at every
attempt to intimidate me.
Do you still refuse
to oblige me?
I do!
I do not know which I admire
more, Elizabeth Bennet.
Your skill as a warrior,
or your resolve as a woman.
They've got her
in The In-Between, Papa.
Lydia's honor
is at stake.
Stop him, Liz. He's going
after Lydia and Wickham.
Wait, Papa.
What's right to be done
cannot be done too soon.
But you don't even
know where she is. I do.
I promise you
I won't forsake Lydia.
I'll go with you.
No, you must stay here
to help protect Longbourn.
Ride at once.
Both of you.
I will take the rest of your
family back with me to Rosings.
There's no safer
place in England.
Collect your people.
This bridge
is closed!
It's too dangerous to cross.
All of London's fallen
to the zombies.
We have urgent business
on the other side.
This bridge is rigged
with all the explosives
left in England.
It's to be detonated
tomorrow at dawn
when the last squadron
withdraw from The In-Between.
Our boys can't
hold them much longer.
If the undead of London
take the bridge,
the rest of England
will surely be lost.
Nevertheless,
we must cross over.
Zombie protocols
in effect!
One, seek out and destroy
any remaining undead.
Two, any of the fallen
with intact skulls
must have their brains
perforated or crushed
to ensure they do not
rise again as the undead!
Bloody hell...
Fie, damnable scarf!
Hello, Miss Bennet.
Potter's field.
Yes. Quite.
Pardon?
This.
What we're standing on,
it's an unmarked
zombie graveyard.
Yes. Of course.
Miss Bennet, what possible
cause could the two of you have
for leaving Hertfordshire
and entering into The In-Between?
If adventures will not befall a
young lady in her own village,
she must seek them abroad.
We had no choice.
Wickham has
run off with Lydia.
He has taken her to where
his "zombie aristocrats" congregate.
St. Lazarus.
St. Lazarus?
I know it well.
I saw it razed to the
ground five days ago.
Your sister couldn't
possibly have survived.
I'm profoundly sorry
for your loss.
Colonel Darcy.
We need you at the command tent.
I fear I must depart for
Hingham Bridge immediately.
Of course.
Let's see how
reasonable his aristocrats are
after their appetites
have been whet.
On my mark.
Now.
Dawn breaks
at 5:00 tomorrow.
I'll make it back.
Of course you will, old man.
The order must be given
at first light.
No matter what.
I'll give the order.
I fear I should not have
confided in Darcy.
Fear the hordes of ravenous
unmentionables that are swarming our way.
Liz, London has already fallen and
the Grand Barrier burns as we speak.
Hingham Bridge
is behind us.
London's over there.
Which direction are you looking in,
Mr. Bingley?
St. Lazarus?
Darcy lied...
To spare you.
He'd risk anything
for you, Miss Bennet.
Lizzy!
Don't hang about.
Go on.
Soldiers
wouldn't do that.
Nor would I...
Who would steal the brains
of dead soldiers?
Almighty Lazarus,
to whom all souls are open.
Breathe life into our hearts,
by the insertion of your divine spirit.
"I am the resurrection
and the life.
"He that believeth in me..."
Mr. Darcy...
It's all right.
He said you'd come.
Wickham said you'd come.
Mr. Darcy...
Bastard.
My God,
you're so predictable.
I knew by taking young Lydia,
you'd have to protect the Bennets' honor.
So, come to
kill me then, Fitz?
On the contrary,
I've come to
make you an offer.
The Bennets have authorized me
to offer you a commission
of £10,000
to return Lydia and
leave England for good.
How noble of you to deliver
the Bennets' offer, Fitz,
but I'm afraid
my answer is no.
And is there no
financial inducement
that could convince you to do
the honorable thing, George?
None.
You see, money is of
no use to me now.
Is that your father's watch?
Yes.
Give it to me.
No.
Bloody hell!
Bloody hell!
Mr. Darcy, please!
What have you done, Darcy?
I fed them!
Godspeed, Georgie.
All of you, go to the bridge! Now!
Go to the bridge!
Lydia, listen to me. You have
to get across Hingham Bridge.
But Mr. Darcy,
you have to come.
As long as Wickham lives,
England is in peril. Go, Lydia. Go!
All of you,
Hingham Bridge!
I conquered
London, Darcy.
Did you really think
you could defeat me?
I always have.
You're
a traitor, George.
No, Fitz. I'm a king!
Oh, my God.
Lydia!
Lydia!
It's time, sir.
So it is.
Rider!
Wait!
Lydia,
where are the others?
You fool. I've been
one of them all along.
If I had the living
your father intended me,
I never would have
been in the army,
I never would
have been infected.
This is your doing, Darcy!
Suppressing my
hunger was easy.
They needed God, I had my
hatred of you to sustain me.
The Four Horsemen
have risen from Hell!
The zombie apocalypse
is here.
I am the one the undead
have been waiting for.
The one to lead them.
Every life I take,
every atrocity I commit,
is on your head!
Keep your eyes
peeled, lads!
- We can't delay any longer, sir.
- No!
The undead will have reached the bridge soon,
and then it will be too late.
They're not back yet!
You must wait, Bingley!
Detonate the bridge.
Give the order.
Give the order.
Yes, sir.
Four!
Three!
Two!
One!
Liz!
Liz!
Mr. Darcy.
The very first moment
I beheld you,
my heart was irrevocably gone.
Raise the gate!
Lady Catherine, might I
take this opportunity
to compliment you
on your pantaloons?
And your eye patch. It's very fetching.
Is it function or fashion?
Function.
Your Ladyship.
Guess who's speaking with
Papa in the library? It's...
Mr. Bingley.
Lady Catherine.
This is all rather embarrassing,
but I would like to request the
privilege of speaking with Miss Jane.
Alone.
Mr. Darcy.
My favorite nephew,
who lay unconscious
for so long,
that when we heard
you'd risen, we'd feared
you'd joined the ranks
of the undead.
Any word from the canal?
It's holding
for the time being.
Yes!
Jane said yes.
Would you excuse me?
Quick! Quick, quick!
This is so exciting!
Jane!
Keep going!
Hurry up, Lydia!
Miss Bennet.
Mr. Darcy.
You look as though
you're fully mended.
I am. Thank you.
If it wasn't for you,
I'd have surely perished.
You have saved me
in more ways than one.
What you said to me
on Hingham Bridge...
You heard me?
I did.
It gave me hope.
Of what?
That your feelings towards
me may have changed.
However, one word
from you now
will silence me
on this subject forever.
You are the love of my life,
Elizabeth Bennet.
So I ask you now,
half in anguish, half in hope,
will you do me
the great, great honor
of taking me
for your husband?
Yes.
Yes.
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here tody
in the sight of God
to join together
this man and this woman,
and this man and this woman,
in holy matrimony.
I now pronounce
you man and wife,
and man and wife.
You may now kiss Mr. Darcy...
The brides.
You may now kiss the brides.
Oh...
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for coming.
I'm so happy!
♪ Ring-a-round the rosie
♪ A pocket full of posies
♪ A-tishoo! A-tishoo!
♪ We all fall down
♪ Walking through the foret
♪ A monster stands before s
♪ Another there, another
♪ They all rise up
♪ Ring around the soul, please
♪ Lift your musket calmly
♪ Bludgeon! Bludgeon!
♪ They all fall down
♪ Ring-a-around to safety
♪ Infection is a pity
♪ Your father or your mothr
♪ They nearly break your pram
♪ Ring-a-round the rosie
♪ A pocket full of posies
♪ A-tishoo! A-tishoo!
♪ We all fall down