Poszukiwany, poszukiwana (1973) - full transcript
Stanislaw works in an art museum in Warsaw; it's not a very well-paid job, and his boss is a bit of a martinet. When a painting is found to be missing from the store room, the boss accuses Stanislaw and gives him 24 hours to return it, or go to jail. Well, Stanislaw is innocent, so he can't return it, and he decides to borrow some of his wife's clothes and her wig, and go into hiding as a woman, Maria. He gets a job as housemaid, although his practical home skills are pretty well non-existent, but a succession of amorous husbands, difficult children, and eccentric bosses drives him from one job to the next. Meanwhile his efforts to keep in touch with his wife lead to her becoming suspicious of his involvement with another girl he is talking to, and then when he kisses his wife amourously, the girl is scandalised to see what appear to be two women kissing. [This was 1973 in Poland, remember.] Finally he gets a decent place working for the director of an architectural practice; but this man has to write and deliver a presentation on the merits of his town-planning proposals, and this is not his strong point. Stanislaw (as Maria) helps with the text, and this is so successful that the boss wants Maria to accompany him to the presentation itself. However, there is a snag: Maria would have to pretend to be a man! The boss finds an old suit and tells Maria to put it on; but he isn't impressed with the result and castigates Maria for making such a poor show as a man. Obviously Maria is still walking and sitting down like a girl, so the boss's wife gives "Maria" some coaching in male body language. Will Stanislaw be trapped forever on the run and pretending to be Maria?
We got it!
WANTED: MALE OR FEMALE
Starring
Written by
Music
Director of photography
Directed by
- Move it to the right.
- This way?
Stop. Come and take a look.
Why don't we move it...
Don't come in! It's you, sir.
You're never there when I call.
Not too keen on work, are you?
Sorry. I'm busy
with the Dutch exhibition.
I take it you've met?
- Stanislaw Maria Rochowicz. This is...
- Bogdan Adamiec.
Artist and painter.
Yes, we've met. Mr. Rochowicz has
approved the purchase of my painting.
Mr. Adamiec claims you agreed to make
alterations on his painting bought...
- When was that?
- In January. You were there.
Are you crazy?
You want to paint over a painting?
It's a misunderstanding.
I want to make the alterations.
The use of black is inappropriate.
I have a new idea.
The black doesn't predominate over
the blues. The blues are too soft.
If I change the blues,
the black will not stand out.
I see.
I'm responsible for all purchases.
They can't get into strange hands.
What strange hands?
I know it's a work of your hands.
But it's against regulations.
I have my paints with me. l'll do
it here, give me thirty minutes.
- You promised.
- I did? When?
You forgot? What did you say when
we were cruising hotel bars?
“Mate, we can get into the museum
and paint over
Matejkds masterpiece”.
You made a bet that you'd
crawl back home on all fours.
How very interesting.
I have no objections. You can alter
your paintings as you wish.
If this experiment works, people will
fall to their knees, you included.
Visitors will be amazed to see me
paint a painting hanging on the wall.
This dead place needs some life.
It's not dead.
It's our sculpture storeroom.
Your painting is in
the painting storeroom.
A storeroom?
lt's not displayed for the public?
You think we display
purchased paintings?
No offence, the museum
buys them to help artists out.
Yours was bought so you
could earn money for a living.
It's outrageous!
You deprive people of contact
with modern art.
I'll exhibit your works when you
build a second wing to our museum.
I do it for people.
It's the last time I sold
my painting to the museum.
- It sure is.
- How do you know?
I won't buy any more from you.
It's government money. Say you'll
paint a masterpiece like Mona Lisa.
L'll buy it from you and they'll ask:
“Why did you buy it?”.
L'll answer: “lt's a masterpiece”.
They'll say:”We disagree”.
“Rumour has it you got a share from
Mr. Adamiec”. How will I explain it?
Itjust proves my point.
People crave art.
We both know it must have been
stolen by a sensitive an lover.
He was so desperate to
experience art, he committed a crime.
Did we search the storeroom?
We did. Is there another one? No.
You're responsible for the storeroom.
It didn't just evaporate.
L'll tell the press that an an lover
stole the work of a Polish painter.
They'll publish a picture of
my latest works.
So there!
You're responsible for the storeroom.
You'll answer for neglect.
Fine. I can be responsible for that
storeroom ifl get security guards.
- It's too late.
- I know.
Statues worth millions are in ruin
because there's
no money for security.
That's irrelevant.
Don't be so upset.
If you give that painting back,
we'll drop the charges.
- Why would I steal that painting?
- Sit down, please.
You know why. To sell it.
Who'd buy such crap?
lt's worthless.
Worthless?
What is your monthly pay?
1600 zlotys.
Really?
And you say that a painting
worth 20000 is worthless?
“The thief is a sensitive
and educated an lover.
He ignored kitsch. He went straight
for a work of great value.
Prices in hotel bars are quite high.
A bottle of vodka costs...
He was seen walking on all fours”.
On all fours? In mid-winter?
Shame on you.
I could arrest you immediately.
But we don't want our country
to lose an through illegal export.
You'll get one last chance.
I expect to see you with
the painting by 3 pm. tomorrow.
Or with your toothbrush.
What penalty does the law provide
ifl don't make it by 3 p.m.?
You'll get five years.
I suggest you start looking.
By 3 p.m.
It's not there. I'm in trouble.
- They can't put you in jail.
- They can. It's a nightmare.
Until now jail was just an empty
word. And suddenly bang!
It's real. Barred windows,
an iron cot, a blanket.
I can't take it!
I have to run away, disappear.
- Who's that?
- l'll get it.
It's Adamiec. I'm done for!
- I'll open it.
- No way. Pretend you're in bed.
I'm coming! I'll just get dressed!
- Is Mr. Rochowicz in?
- He's not home.
- Who painted these?
- My husband.
You like them?
- It's crap. I'm Adamiec.
- How can I help you?
- You're his wife?
- Yes.
Talk to him. We can make a deal
if he contacts me with the buyer.
What buyer?
I bet your husband didn't
steal my painting for himself.
- He did it for a marchand.
- Who?
An art dealer in Paris or London.
Whatever.
He spotted an opportunity
when he saw my hand motif.
I'll paint a whole series of hands -
male, female, in black and white.
People will love them!
Your husband will get 10 per cent.
It's a good deal.
I need to contact that guy.
My husband is in a nearby cafe.
Let's go.
I didn't realize myself
what a great idea it was.
- My eyes are open now.
- Let's go.
- I've primed thirty large canvasses.
- I'm sure he's in a cafe.
What are you doing here, Miss?
Crocheting.
In my house?
Get out or I'll call the police.
Don't you dare.
- Is that you?
- Yes. You didn't recognize me?
- Good. That's what I hoped for.
- Are you crazy?
Nobody will recognize me.
I'll hide in this disguise
for a month or two
until I paint a copy of
that painting.
- From memory?
- No. Look.
I have the details.
Nobody will assume it's fake
if it has a signature.
We'll put it back in
the museum and that's it.
When the police come,
we'll say you're my older sister.
- Older? Why?
- Don't be silly.
I can't live with you.
It may look suspicious.
I have to move out.
Let me see... it's better now.
Take the necklace off.
Don't move!
That gentleman? OK.
- Excuse me...
- Yes?
Good morning.
What is your pay demand?
Let's say five hundred.
Will three hundred be OK?
Three hundred and eighty.
It's mid-month...
Five hundred, board and lodging.
You'll cook, clean, do the laundry.
- And take care of Sonia.
- Who?
- Our doggy.
- She likes women.
- Can I have a word with you?
- We'll be back.
Sonia! Stay!
Wait!
You're hired.
Whafs your name?
Stan... Maria.
- Where have you worked before?
- For Mr. and Mrs. Rochowicz.
Why did you leave?
They split up.
But they were pleased with my work.
I have references.
Excuse me.
What a gem.
You finally made your minds up.
She's not very pretty.
Congratulations.
She'll have to take time off at night.
There's one problem.
I lost my ID card.
So?
I won't be able to register
my residence.
What? You want to register
your residence here?
- In that case, goodbye.
- Goodbye.
No!
Listen, we hired that woman
as a maid five years ago.
She registered her residence
and quit her job a month later.
She never moved out. Even when we
change apartments, she goes with us.
Buy me a flat and l'll go!
I'll kill her.
Go to the kitchen and unpack.
- Where's the kitchen?
- Here. We eat breakfast at 7 am.
Honey, I had a nightmare.
I dreamed I was a maid.
That won't be enough.
Two of them, me and doggy.
Darn it! Too yeasty.
You can let Sonia off the leash.
They like to play together.
- I'm afraid she'll run away.
- She won't.
She's very obedient
when she's out with her mistress.
Why do they have such a big dog?
They must love her.
They can't stand her.
But she's their breadwinner.
- Really?
- Sonia is a three-time champion.
They get 5000 for every puppy.
She has four or five at a time.
It adds up to a nice sum.
A dog needs to run.
- I have to run with her?
- No.
Sit. Alex, fetch!
Sit.
Get her out of the water.
She'll catch cold.
Whose dog is it?
Her mistress will be mad!
Get a canoe. Hurry!
Come here!
Careful!
You'll scratch your legs.
Wait. I'll pull you out.
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
Great.
- Nice dog.
- It's a bitch.
I know. I can tell the difference.
Some say I'm an expert
- Really?
- Heavy, isn't he?
I mean she.
Sixty kilos or more when wet.
- I have an offer for you.
- Lay off.
Don't be so rude and crude.
Lay off or l'll punch you!
Touchy, are you? Want to make
a career, travel, have fun?
I'll call the police!
Have you heard about a shot putter
named Lobzéwna? I made her.
A storm is coming.
I have to run.
Had your run? I certainly did.
- Rawicz speaking.
- Can I speak to Kasia?
- Sure. Kasia!
- Yes?
It's for me?
- Hello?
- Kasia?
- It's you.
- I made dumplings. They're hard.
Hard? Maybe you used plaster.
Plaster? I'll check.
Hello? Is this ajoke?
My pork chops are burning.
Why?
- Did you put oil in the pan?
- What for? The meat was fat.
I can't talk know. I'm busy.
You think the phone is bugged?
You may be right.
- It's possible.
- Bye.
Thank you.
What is this?
- What?
- This.
- A shirt.
- My best shirt.
Sorry. I'll take it and...
Sonia!
Don't let it happen again!
- What is this?
- Well?
Eat.
- I can't. l'll kick her out.
- Don't be silly.
You won't find a maid
in Warsaw for that money.
- What if she starts stealing?
- l'll fire her if I catch her.
Eat.
- I can't.
- She'll be upset and leave.
- Did you eat yours?
- I put it in the bookcase.
L'll throw it out
when she takes the dog out.
- I can't eat. Here, doggy.
- Stop it! You'll poison our dog.
- Don't you know who's speaking?
- Who is it?
It's me. The little girl
who lived with you.
- Wrong number.
- lt's Stasia speaking.
I know you have an appendectomy
scar and you use baby cream.
Is that you, Robert?
- What Robert?
- My doctor, you idiot.
Your doctor? OK.
What do you want, little girl?
Bye.
- I heard voices. Who's here?
- Nobody.
- I definitely heard somebody.
- It must be the neighbours.
I'm sure I did.
Hello? lt's you.
Yes, I complained
about hot water problems.
Can you come today?
Sure.
lfl said I'd come, l'll come.
- Great. No, wait. You can't come.
- Why?
My mom may be watching my house.
Let's meet in a park.
It's nicer there.
You know why it's nicer in a park.
- What about your tap?
- What tap?
I'll take the hot water tap with me.
How sweet.
You tell me to watch out for taps
and you want to come in daytime?
Are you making fun of me?
Fix your taps yourself!
Hello!
Hello!
Can you get me a napkin?
In the bottom drawer.
Thank you.
- Maria...
- I can...
Don't explain.
Who was with you last night?
- With me?
- Yes.
- My brother.
- He won't be there tonight. I will.
Open up.
lt's me, your master.
Come in!
It's no use. You won't find it.
We won't call the police.
We have no proof.
If she stole it,
she took it out of the house.
Let's fire her.
We'll hire a new maid.
Younger and cleaner.
Are you crazy? lt's a gold ring
with a precious stone.
- L'll give her a body search.
- I'll do it.
She won't strip in front of you.
Let me do it.
Maria!
Come with me.
Well?
Nothing. She's clean.
- You fired her?
- No.
What about the ring?
- We'll find it. lt's no big deal.
- No big deal?
- It was small and old.
- It was antique.
Whatever.
Whatever?
- Jesus! She's gone!
- You're right.
She must have run away.
- I found the ring.
- I could kill you!
We don't want to leave
Antoé alone at home.
He's a nervous child.
Please be careful.
Our previous maid
was physically on the weak side.
Our son is quite fit.
Too fit. I advise you
to wear rubber boots.
- Rubber boots?
- He likes to bite at ankles.
Stop this nonsense,
you'll scare her.
Everything will be fine.
We're going to the theatre.
Make sure he's in bed by 9 pm.
Read to him. Can you read?
- What?
- Read.
Sure. What should I read?
Fairy tales.
Take care of everything.
I suggest you read “Playboy”.
Hey, you. Come over here.
Move! What are you staring at?
Never seen a radio before?
Don't touch it!
It's an expensive device.
Come here!
Get up.
You're not on holiday.
I'm going to a movie at half seven.
- You mean half past seven.
- Whatever. I'm off.
- You're not going.
- Why?
Your mom said
you should be in bed by nine.
And you'll read fairy tales to me?
Bullshit.
- What did you say?
- Bullshit!
That wasn't nice.
You want to teach me manners?
I'm going to a movie.
Wait. I told you what your mom said.
You'll go to bed.
If you touch me, I'll tell mom.
She'll kick you out.
- Pick it up.
- OK.
You...!
Lesson one of good manners.
- You understand?
- Yes.
- What time is it?
- 12 pm.
Be back here by 12:50. Go.
Hello!
If we alternately took
care of the kids,
we'd have some free time.
It's too much.
Come on. Amos' is
a typical product of our times.
If you bribe or threaten him,
he's as meek as a lamb.
You want free time for dates?
- Not really.
- Why?
What if I prefer girls?
I heard about sexual deviations
at my course.
- But I never met anybody like that.
- I was just kidding.
- When you sit near me, I feel...
- What do you feel?
Stop it.
About that course.
Why don't you take it?
Soon I'll make enough money
to study history of art.
- History of art? Why?
- To advance in life.
- Hello, Maria.
- Hello.
Can I have a word with you?
What are you doing here?
I changed my job.
I'm working for the Gérecki family.
Why?
My previous employer suspected
something. I think she knew...
- What?
- That I'm not a woman.
Dont worry.
I get a thousand a month now.
- Really?
- Look what I have for you.
Cafe? Let me speak to that guy
who's waiting for a call.
Art gallery here.
We have a visitor. lt's a woman.
Don't get too close.
You should admire paintings
from a distance.
Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.
I'm Bogdan Adamiec, painter.
- I know.
- You know me?
- You introduced yourself.
- Right.
- You went shopping? What do you do?
- I'm a housekeeper.
Fantastic! How long have you been
interested in art?
I was just passing by.
What a pity the TV crew is not here.
Can you come tomorrow?
I'll call them and we'll reenact
this scene all over again.
This kind of thing doesn't happen
every day. Nobody will believe me.
It may be crowded tomorrow.
Can I have your autograph?
You're welcome.
Sign identically as your paintings.
What do you do to prevent glaze
from shining?
I use a palette knife.
I mix oil paint with turpentine
to bring out depth.
I remove all barriers.
These hands seem to reach out
to the viewer...
Wake up. Did you see anybody?
- A woman.
- What woman?
They won't believe me again!
What do you want to be
when you grow up?
- A hustler.
- What?
My friends dad is
a currency dealer.
He's loaded.
They may be well off,
but people don't respect them.
I bet your friend
is ashamed of his parents.
- You're strong, but so dumb.
- Watch your words.
What planet are you from?
He gets top grades in school.
It means he studies hard.
What? He pays his friends
to do his homework for him.
It won't do him good.
Money can't buy education.
Come on. He'll give backhanders.
Stop nagging, I'm bored.
You're bored?
Here. I made a slingshot for you.
Don't aim at people!
Take this. Go!
Hello!
I had to wait for you in this heat.
Sorry. I'll make you feel cooler.
Don't splash me!
* See?
' Stop it!
Hello.
- It's good yours here. Let's go.
- No, thanks. l'll sit.
- Can I have a word with you?
- No.
- Don't be so stubborn!
- Let me go!
- You're not cooking lunch today?
- Where did you get that wig?
I bought it.
- Who gave you money?
- I had my own.
Tell Mrs. Gérecka I'll come to
that party. Rawicz invited me.
- Who's Rawicz?
- He's my boss.
- No way!
- Don't be silly.
I'll tell her.
Say hello to your boss.
Goodbye.
- What's all this about?
- I'm jealous.
- So it's true. How do you do it?
- Do what?
- You know. A girl with a girl.
- Stop it. Maniac!
Excuse me... Sorry.
Mr. Rawicz...
You're naughty, Mr. Rawicz.
- Excuse me.
- No problem.
- Don't you feel too hot?
- It's not hot enough.
- I'll get your coat.
- Don't bother.
- Would you like tea or coffee?
- No.
We don't want any orange,
tomato or grapefruit juice.
How about lemon juice?
Can I have a word with you?
Do you have a room here?
Give me the key, will you?
- No way.
- l'll give you a hundred.
- Is that all she's worth?
- How much do you want?
I don't want money.
She's married.
I heard.
- She loves her husband.
- I heard about him. He's a crook.
Not really.
He was charged unfairly.
He's a very good man.
- Stop your advances.
- Stop bothering me.
- Leave her alone.
- You leave me alone!
Wait.
You don't have to clean.
Or cook. I eat out.
You don't have to do the laundry.
Do you have a boyfriend?
No.
All women say that. Later it
turns out they do. Never mind.
You can invite him to your room.
Only there.
What are my duties?
You'll see. lt's important
you keep your mouth shut.
Not a word about me to anybody.
And stay away from the bathroom.
Where will I wash?
There's a sink in the kitchen.
And a separate loo.
Speaking of your duties.
This is a map.
I've marked all grocery stores.
Every morning
you'll go to five stores
and buy five kilos of sugar
and yeast.
You can go to each store
only once.
If you run out of stores in our
district, you'll go to further ones.
Is that all?
- How much is the sugar?
- 525 zlotys.
Here you are.
Thank you.
- It's heavy.
- I live nearby.
- Want a hand?
- No, thanks. Goodbye.
- What is this?
- I bought two sacks to stock up.
What did I tell you?
Buy no more than
five kilos in one store.
I'm sorry.
You're doing harm
to Polish science.
I'm working on a major invention.
To determine
the content of sugar in sugar
depending on radiation.
In one store the content
of sugar in sugar
is 80 percent after
a yearly shelf life,
while in another
it's 90 percent.
Saccharin has 500 percent!
Quiet!
Thanks to my invention
we wont have to grow sugar beets.
We'll have sugar in sugar!
Five kilos of sugar, please.
I'll take five... make it six kilos!
- Take it easy, lady.
- Sorry.
You want to sit down? Go ahead.
There's room for two.
Leave me alone!
I was just trying to be polite.
She bawled me out!
I gave my seat up to a lady before
and I'm paying alimony now.
- Let go of my bag!
- What?
Your briefcase got caught
in my string bag!
- You want me to call the police?
- Listen, you...
What?
Wait!
Your bag!
Professor!
What?
Is anybody at the door?
No. I'm through
with riding trams or buses.
- Something happens to me every time.
- OK. l'll think of something.
- Professor, I lied to you.
- What do you mean?
About that boyfriend.
I don't have one,
I have a girlfriend.
- Can she visit me?
- OK.
But don't let her walk around here.
Go straight to your room.
- OK.
- We'll lock the door.
Whafs all this sugar for?
The professor makes experiments.
How's yourjob?
Mr. Rawicz had an accident.
- Really? What happened?
- He got hit.
- Accidents happen. Where is he now?
- In the hospital.
That's done. We got money for you.
My monthly pay.
- I'll save it for our apartment.
- Good.
What have you done? You dumped
packs of sugar into one bag?
I took notes
which are from which store.
These are from the delicatessen,
and these from the supermarket...
Didn't anybody find it suspicious?
Did anybody follow you?
Watch you?
No. Why?
I have to keep
my experiments secret.
Nobody can find out.
I thought you wanted to determine
the content of sugar in sugar.
That's right! And radioactivity.
You wouldn't understand!
I told you to buy five kilos of sugar
and get back home. Home!
You understand?
Take it off my pay.
I'll throw this sugar out.
No! l'll throw it out myself!
Whafs going on in there?
I'm coming! Just a minute!
Whafs wrong?
Nothing. We got a toothache.
Take a painkiller. I have to go.
l'll be back tonight.
Fine.
I forgot my... What is this?
I won't tell anybody. I had no idea
it was a large scale production.
You're dead right
you won't tell anybody.
Stay here!
Maria!
Come out here. Come out!
Come here. I did some thinking.
There is a solution.
- What?
- You'll be my wife.
- Me?
- Yes. You'll be my wife.
- What? You don't like me?
- That's not the point.
Quiet! I'll be good to you.
- It's not possible.
- Why? I'm proposing to you.
- It's not possible.
- Why?
- Because I can't.
- What do you mean?
Why?
Thafs why.
Brilliant operation.
Well done.
You're a police officer.
Go on, lieutenant.
Call your squad.
Tough luck.
- I'll take a bunch of carrots.
- I have nice tomatoes.
I'll come tomorrow.
- Maria! I have fresh lettuce!
- No, thanks.
Try my delicious cherries.
- Want some?
- Maybe tomorrow.
We'll wait with lunch
for my husband.
Excuse me, what does he do?
My husband is a manager.
I'd like to thank all of you
for your cooperation.
I'm moving on to a new job
in a highly responsible sector.
Its the Central Urban
Development Institute.
Thank you.
- What exactly is yourjob now?
- I'm building towns.
- How much will you make?
- More than in waterworks.
More than for rationalization?
- That was in cement works.
- What's the difference?
There it was easy to calculate
if savings measures generated losses.
Here I don't sign anything.
Maybe it's for the best.
Just remember
what that guy told you...
What did he say?
That all thafs left for
you is local industry.
- Fine.
- I'm not moving from Warsaw.
You think local industry is where?
They have their headquarters
right next to the institute.
- Here in Warsaw?
- Sure.
Don't worry.
I just started work.
Soon l'll reorganize everything.
You know how long it takes
to build a town? Three years.
Then you have to deal with defects,
complaints. lt's four years easy.
Don't say anything in front of her.
- She's too stupid to understand.
- You're right.
- What are these?
- Cooperative high-rises.
I see.
Thafs the lake.
Well, in that case...
No, it's OK.
We'll move the lake here.
Wake up. There's somebody
to see you. Shall I let him in?
Yes.
Come in.
Good day.
Excuse me, you forgot to sign
invoices. We can't pay out.
Have a seat. Let...
what's his name Kownacki sign them.
- It's in your name.
- Let me see.
You'll get paid.
For what?
Author's fees for adjusting
the town planning project.
OK.
- How are you doing?
- I'm fine.
- Any problems?
- No.
- Everything is fine?
- Yes.
Here you are.
- Thank you. Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
I don't think you should write.
Focus on the spoken word.
Remember what that guy said?
- What?
- You know.
I have to finish it. Its not hard.
I'll read the introduction to you.
“Challenges posed by life to spatial
development have contributed
to the expansion
of construction work.
One example is the urbanization
project of Michaiéw district”.
It - I can't find the right word -
quarrels, opposes , is against...
Clashes.
Good. Clashes.
No, it clashes with a larger,
broader concept...
General concept.
“It clashes with the general concept
outlined last February”.
- Maria?
- Yes?
- Did you prompt me?
- Anything wrong?
Thafs not the point.
I'm amazed you know such words.
You bring home so much literature.
I read while I cook.
Did you read this article?
It's nonsense.
A guy wants to tear down 19th century
buildings to build beer bars.
Shops, not beer bars.
New buildings replace relics.
Why do it when relics
are in good condition?
These relics will outlive
many new buildings.
The concept of tearing down
19th century buildings is a relic.
Today they're just as valuable
as 18th century architecture.
We can find many great examples
of Secession style.
Maria?
I know Polish Secession does not
equal that of Odessa or Vienna...
Maria?
Sorry, my soup will burn.
No! Sit down.
That article you helped me with.
I got 2800 zlotys for it.
Let's split the fee.
You'll get 1800. Is that OK?
Sure. Thank you.
We could write more articles.
We have to find a good topic.
There you are! Thanks a lot.
You got me into trouble.
Local industry, here I come!
What happened?
Maria came up with this new concept.
What's it called?
The concept of integrating historic
buildings into urban landscape.
- It's a very good concept.
- Thafs right.
You said it yourself.
It's too good.
It caused a great stir.
Have you read the papers?
Sure. They say it's a revolution
in urban development.
Who asked you for a revolution?
It's pandemonium. We have
to receive architects, consultants.
Congratulations keep coming in.
The TV wants to do an interview.
Great. You were never
interviewed before.
Dont you get the point?
For many years nobody bothered me.
I know people who had new concepts.
Now they're history.
No way. You have to take it all back.
You'll do it personally.
- I can't. You're good at it.
- You're a great speaker.
I can speak on general topics,
I can highlight
the international situation.
When it comes to details,
Maria has to do it.
I want you to be present at that
interview. You'll be my...
Consultant?
Thafs right. l'll explain.
Put my suit on.
I can't have a woman consultant.
You're a maid.
They'll laugh at me.
Put it on. We'll cut your hair.
It's no big deal.
We did things like that when
I worked in entertainment.
- Get changed.
- But...
No buts. Stop fussing.
How long does it take to change?
Something is wrong.
Your hair.
Thafs how men wear it nowadays,
especially artists.
Walk around the room.
Put your hand in your pocket.
Sit down.
Men don't sit that way.
Of course. Men walk this way.
And they sit this way.
Thafs right.
Maybe it's the tie.
Stop interfering! Damn it!
Put a tie on. Not that one!
Pick a nice one.
- How about this one?
- OK.
Good. See?
The suit doesn't fit. Theres a trunk
in the kitchen closet. Get it.
I've kept one of my suits
from old times.
If that damned maid broke her leg,
it'll be the end of me.
- What is this?
- Why haven't you changed?
- What is this?
- It's a painting. What about it?
Where did you get it?
Ifs not a good time to talk
about paintings. Get changed.
Where did you get it?
I don't know.
Where did we get it?
Remember when you worked for
the Central Museum Management?
A client came to see you.
How did it get here?
- What?
- This painting.
The wall was bare so I decided
to find something in the storeroom.
What can I do for you?
- So nobody stole it?
- Stole what?
Nobody stole it.
I had it taken down when I saw
it was scaring clients off.
- Whafs this about?
- You didn't sign a receipt?
As a manager? I didn't need to.
Why aren't you dressed?
Exactly, why?
Whafs this about?
Maria!
Come out!
Maria, it's me. Open up!
- Very good.
- What?
- Excellent disguise.
- Goodbye.
Great glasses. Come here.
- I have to go.
- Where?
- Home.
- What home?
- Home to my wife.
- You have a wife?
- Of course.
- And kids?
Not yet. But I want to.
Now I have to find
a good name for you.
- I have a name.
- What is it?
- Stanislaw Maria Rochowicz.
- Good.
Maria!
How do I get to Powiéle?
Go straight along Lazienkowska
thoroughfare.
- It's you! My poor darling, at last!
- What's going on here?
I've moved our things
to our new apartment.
Did the police tell you
they dropped the charges?
- They said something...
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Maria, I...
- Don't call me Maria!
- Listen...
- What? Why didn't you tell me?
- I didn't tell you?
- No.
You said that when were financially
stable, you can do research work.
And we can have a baby.
80 if you work as a maid...
- A maid?
- You'll work mornings.
Are you crazy?
What are you saying?
You want me to humiliate myself
so you can buy more rags?
I slave away for people
and make a fool of myself!
- Let's go to our apartment.
- Leave me alone!
You think l'll calm down? No!
- Why didn't you tell me?
- I told you why.
- No, you didn't.
- I did.
You told me nothing.
I make a fool of myself,
dress up as a woman...
Nice! A pleasant breeze.
- I'm turning right.
- Why? Go straight.
- Why straight?
- I want to go straight.
- It'll be faster.
- Sit down!
- Do as I say!
- Don't touch the steering wheel!
- Easy on the brakes!
- It's OK.
You'll ruin the car!
- Go on, help me.
- OK.
Push harder. Hit it.
- Now the top.
- Don't pull!
- Look at the time.
- So what?
So nothing!
Nice wheels!
- Nice guy.
- I bet he's a hustler.
Hello!
You think you can drive over
people's feet? I'll get you!
Good morning.
THE END
English subtitles: lwona Morenc
STUDIO PUBLISHING
WANTED: MALE OR FEMALE
Starring
Written by
Music
Director of photography
Directed by
- Move it to the right.
- This way?
Stop. Come and take a look.
Why don't we move it...
Don't come in! It's you, sir.
You're never there when I call.
Not too keen on work, are you?
Sorry. I'm busy
with the Dutch exhibition.
I take it you've met?
- Stanislaw Maria Rochowicz. This is...
- Bogdan Adamiec.
Artist and painter.
Yes, we've met. Mr. Rochowicz has
approved the purchase of my painting.
Mr. Adamiec claims you agreed to make
alterations on his painting bought...
- When was that?
- In January. You were there.
Are you crazy?
You want to paint over a painting?
It's a misunderstanding.
I want to make the alterations.
The use of black is inappropriate.
I have a new idea.
The black doesn't predominate over
the blues. The blues are too soft.
If I change the blues,
the black will not stand out.
I see.
I'm responsible for all purchases.
They can't get into strange hands.
What strange hands?
I know it's a work of your hands.
But it's against regulations.
I have my paints with me. l'll do
it here, give me thirty minutes.
- You promised.
- I did? When?
You forgot? What did you say when
we were cruising hotel bars?
“Mate, we can get into the museum
and paint over
Matejkds masterpiece”.
You made a bet that you'd
crawl back home on all fours.
How very interesting.
I have no objections. You can alter
your paintings as you wish.
If this experiment works, people will
fall to their knees, you included.
Visitors will be amazed to see me
paint a painting hanging on the wall.
This dead place needs some life.
It's not dead.
It's our sculpture storeroom.
Your painting is in
the painting storeroom.
A storeroom?
lt's not displayed for the public?
You think we display
purchased paintings?
No offence, the museum
buys them to help artists out.
Yours was bought so you
could earn money for a living.
It's outrageous!
You deprive people of contact
with modern art.
I'll exhibit your works when you
build a second wing to our museum.
I do it for people.
It's the last time I sold
my painting to the museum.
- It sure is.
- How do you know?
I won't buy any more from you.
It's government money. Say you'll
paint a masterpiece like Mona Lisa.
L'll buy it from you and they'll ask:
“Why did you buy it?”.
L'll answer: “lt's a masterpiece”.
They'll say:”We disagree”.
“Rumour has it you got a share from
Mr. Adamiec”. How will I explain it?
Itjust proves my point.
People crave art.
We both know it must have been
stolen by a sensitive an lover.
He was so desperate to
experience art, he committed a crime.
Did we search the storeroom?
We did. Is there another one? No.
You're responsible for the storeroom.
It didn't just evaporate.
L'll tell the press that an an lover
stole the work of a Polish painter.
They'll publish a picture of
my latest works.
So there!
You're responsible for the storeroom.
You'll answer for neglect.
Fine. I can be responsible for that
storeroom ifl get security guards.
- It's too late.
- I know.
Statues worth millions are in ruin
because there's
no money for security.
That's irrelevant.
Don't be so upset.
If you give that painting back,
we'll drop the charges.
- Why would I steal that painting?
- Sit down, please.
You know why. To sell it.
Who'd buy such crap?
lt's worthless.
Worthless?
What is your monthly pay?
1600 zlotys.
Really?
And you say that a painting
worth 20000 is worthless?
“The thief is a sensitive
and educated an lover.
He ignored kitsch. He went straight
for a work of great value.
Prices in hotel bars are quite high.
A bottle of vodka costs...
He was seen walking on all fours”.
On all fours? In mid-winter?
Shame on you.
I could arrest you immediately.
But we don't want our country
to lose an through illegal export.
You'll get one last chance.
I expect to see you with
the painting by 3 pm. tomorrow.
Or with your toothbrush.
What penalty does the law provide
ifl don't make it by 3 p.m.?
You'll get five years.
I suggest you start looking.
By 3 p.m.
It's not there. I'm in trouble.
- They can't put you in jail.
- They can. It's a nightmare.
Until now jail was just an empty
word. And suddenly bang!
It's real. Barred windows,
an iron cot, a blanket.
I can't take it!
I have to run away, disappear.
- Who's that?
- l'll get it.
It's Adamiec. I'm done for!
- I'll open it.
- No way. Pretend you're in bed.
I'm coming! I'll just get dressed!
- Is Mr. Rochowicz in?
- He's not home.
- Who painted these?
- My husband.
You like them?
- It's crap. I'm Adamiec.
- How can I help you?
- You're his wife?
- Yes.
Talk to him. We can make a deal
if he contacts me with the buyer.
What buyer?
I bet your husband didn't
steal my painting for himself.
- He did it for a marchand.
- Who?
An art dealer in Paris or London.
Whatever.
He spotted an opportunity
when he saw my hand motif.
I'll paint a whole series of hands -
male, female, in black and white.
People will love them!
Your husband will get 10 per cent.
It's a good deal.
I need to contact that guy.
My husband is in a nearby cafe.
Let's go.
I didn't realize myself
what a great idea it was.
- My eyes are open now.
- Let's go.
- I've primed thirty large canvasses.
- I'm sure he's in a cafe.
What are you doing here, Miss?
Crocheting.
In my house?
Get out or I'll call the police.
Don't you dare.
- Is that you?
- Yes. You didn't recognize me?
- Good. That's what I hoped for.
- Are you crazy?
Nobody will recognize me.
I'll hide in this disguise
for a month or two
until I paint a copy of
that painting.
- From memory?
- No. Look.
I have the details.
Nobody will assume it's fake
if it has a signature.
We'll put it back in
the museum and that's it.
When the police come,
we'll say you're my older sister.
- Older? Why?
- Don't be silly.
I can't live with you.
It may look suspicious.
I have to move out.
Let me see... it's better now.
Take the necklace off.
Don't move!
That gentleman? OK.
- Excuse me...
- Yes?
Good morning.
What is your pay demand?
Let's say five hundred.
Will three hundred be OK?
Three hundred and eighty.
It's mid-month...
Five hundred, board and lodging.
You'll cook, clean, do the laundry.
- And take care of Sonia.
- Who?
- Our doggy.
- She likes women.
- Can I have a word with you?
- We'll be back.
Sonia! Stay!
Wait!
You're hired.
Whafs your name?
Stan... Maria.
- Where have you worked before?
- For Mr. and Mrs. Rochowicz.
Why did you leave?
They split up.
But they were pleased with my work.
I have references.
Excuse me.
What a gem.
You finally made your minds up.
She's not very pretty.
Congratulations.
She'll have to take time off at night.
There's one problem.
I lost my ID card.
So?
I won't be able to register
my residence.
What? You want to register
your residence here?
- In that case, goodbye.
- Goodbye.
No!
Listen, we hired that woman
as a maid five years ago.
She registered her residence
and quit her job a month later.
She never moved out. Even when we
change apartments, she goes with us.
Buy me a flat and l'll go!
I'll kill her.
Go to the kitchen and unpack.
- Where's the kitchen?
- Here. We eat breakfast at 7 am.
Honey, I had a nightmare.
I dreamed I was a maid.
That won't be enough.
Two of them, me and doggy.
Darn it! Too yeasty.
You can let Sonia off the leash.
They like to play together.
- I'm afraid she'll run away.
- She won't.
She's very obedient
when she's out with her mistress.
Why do they have such a big dog?
They must love her.
They can't stand her.
But she's their breadwinner.
- Really?
- Sonia is a three-time champion.
They get 5000 for every puppy.
She has four or five at a time.
It adds up to a nice sum.
A dog needs to run.
- I have to run with her?
- No.
Sit. Alex, fetch!
Sit.
Get her out of the water.
She'll catch cold.
Whose dog is it?
Her mistress will be mad!
Get a canoe. Hurry!
Come here!
Careful!
You'll scratch your legs.
Wait. I'll pull you out.
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
Great.
- Nice dog.
- It's a bitch.
I know. I can tell the difference.
Some say I'm an expert
- Really?
- Heavy, isn't he?
I mean she.
Sixty kilos or more when wet.
- I have an offer for you.
- Lay off.
Don't be so rude and crude.
Lay off or l'll punch you!
Touchy, are you? Want to make
a career, travel, have fun?
I'll call the police!
Have you heard about a shot putter
named Lobzéwna? I made her.
A storm is coming.
I have to run.
Had your run? I certainly did.
- Rawicz speaking.
- Can I speak to Kasia?
- Sure. Kasia!
- Yes?
It's for me?
- Hello?
- Kasia?
- It's you.
- I made dumplings. They're hard.
Hard? Maybe you used plaster.
Plaster? I'll check.
Hello? Is this ajoke?
My pork chops are burning.
Why?
- Did you put oil in the pan?
- What for? The meat was fat.
I can't talk know. I'm busy.
You think the phone is bugged?
You may be right.
- It's possible.
- Bye.
Thank you.
What is this?
- What?
- This.
- A shirt.
- My best shirt.
Sorry. I'll take it and...
Sonia!
Don't let it happen again!
- What is this?
- Well?
Eat.
- I can't. l'll kick her out.
- Don't be silly.
You won't find a maid
in Warsaw for that money.
- What if she starts stealing?
- l'll fire her if I catch her.
Eat.
- I can't.
- She'll be upset and leave.
- Did you eat yours?
- I put it in the bookcase.
L'll throw it out
when she takes the dog out.
- I can't eat. Here, doggy.
- Stop it! You'll poison our dog.
- Don't you know who's speaking?
- Who is it?
It's me. The little girl
who lived with you.
- Wrong number.
- lt's Stasia speaking.
I know you have an appendectomy
scar and you use baby cream.
Is that you, Robert?
- What Robert?
- My doctor, you idiot.
Your doctor? OK.
What do you want, little girl?
Bye.
- I heard voices. Who's here?
- Nobody.
- I definitely heard somebody.
- It must be the neighbours.
I'm sure I did.
Hello? lt's you.
Yes, I complained
about hot water problems.
Can you come today?
Sure.
lfl said I'd come, l'll come.
- Great. No, wait. You can't come.
- Why?
My mom may be watching my house.
Let's meet in a park.
It's nicer there.
You know why it's nicer in a park.
- What about your tap?
- What tap?
I'll take the hot water tap with me.
How sweet.
You tell me to watch out for taps
and you want to come in daytime?
Are you making fun of me?
Fix your taps yourself!
Hello!
Hello!
Can you get me a napkin?
In the bottom drawer.
Thank you.
- Maria...
- I can...
Don't explain.
Who was with you last night?
- With me?
- Yes.
- My brother.
- He won't be there tonight. I will.
Open up.
lt's me, your master.
Come in!
It's no use. You won't find it.
We won't call the police.
We have no proof.
If she stole it,
she took it out of the house.
Let's fire her.
We'll hire a new maid.
Younger and cleaner.
Are you crazy? lt's a gold ring
with a precious stone.
- L'll give her a body search.
- I'll do it.
She won't strip in front of you.
Let me do it.
Maria!
Come with me.
Well?
Nothing. She's clean.
- You fired her?
- No.
What about the ring?
- We'll find it. lt's no big deal.
- No big deal?
- It was small and old.
- It was antique.
Whatever.
Whatever?
- Jesus! She's gone!
- You're right.
She must have run away.
- I found the ring.
- I could kill you!
We don't want to leave
Antoé alone at home.
He's a nervous child.
Please be careful.
Our previous maid
was physically on the weak side.
Our son is quite fit.
Too fit. I advise you
to wear rubber boots.
- Rubber boots?
- He likes to bite at ankles.
Stop this nonsense,
you'll scare her.
Everything will be fine.
We're going to the theatre.
Make sure he's in bed by 9 pm.
Read to him. Can you read?
- What?
- Read.
Sure. What should I read?
Fairy tales.
Take care of everything.
I suggest you read “Playboy”.
Hey, you. Come over here.
Move! What are you staring at?
Never seen a radio before?
Don't touch it!
It's an expensive device.
Come here!
Get up.
You're not on holiday.
I'm going to a movie at half seven.
- You mean half past seven.
- Whatever. I'm off.
- You're not going.
- Why?
Your mom said
you should be in bed by nine.
And you'll read fairy tales to me?
Bullshit.
- What did you say?
- Bullshit!
That wasn't nice.
You want to teach me manners?
I'm going to a movie.
Wait. I told you what your mom said.
You'll go to bed.
If you touch me, I'll tell mom.
She'll kick you out.
- Pick it up.
- OK.
You...!
Lesson one of good manners.
- You understand?
- Yes.
- What time is it?
- 12 pm.
Be back here by 12:50. Go.
Hello!
If we alternately took
care of the kids,
we'd have some free time.
It's too much.
Come on. Amos' is
a typical product of our times.
If you bribe or threaten him,
he's as meek as a lamb.
You want free time for dates?
- Not really.
- Why?
What if I prefer girls?
I heard about sexual deviations
at my course.
- But I never met anybody like that.
- I was just kidding.
- When you sit near me, I feel...
- What do you feel?
Stop it.
About that course.
Why don't you take it?
Soon I'll make enough money
to study history of art.
- History of art? Why?
- To advance in life.
- Hello, Maria.
- Hello.
Can I have a word with you?
What are you doing here?
I changed my job.
I'm working for the Gérecki family.
Why?
My previous employer suspected
something. I think she knew...
- What?
- That I'm not a woman.
Dont worry.
I get a thousand a month now.
- Really?
- Look what I have for you.
Cafe? Let me speak to that guy
who's waiting for a call.
Art gallery here.
We have a visitor. lt's a woman.
Don't get too close.
You should admire paintings
from a distance.
Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.
I'm Bogdan Adamiec, painter.
- I know.
- You know me?
- You introduced yourself.
- Right.
- You went shopping? What do you do?
- I'm a housekeeper.
Fantastic! How long have you been
interested in art?
I was just passing by.
What a pity the TV crew is not here.
Can you come tomorrow?
I'll call them and we'll reenact
this scene all over again.
This kind of thing doesn't happen
every day. Nobody will believe me.
It may be crowded tomorrow.
Can I have your autograph?
You're welcome.
Sign identically as your paintings.
What do you do to prevent glaze
from shining?
I use a palette knife.
I mix oil paint with turpentine
to bring out depth.
I remove all barriers.
These hands seem to reach out
to the viewer...
Wake up. Did you see anybody?
- A woman.
- What woman?
They won't believe me again!
What do you want to be
when you grow up?
- A hustler.
- What?
My friends dad is
a currency dealer.
He's loaded.
They may be well off,
but people don't respect them.
I bet your friend
is ashamed of his parents.
- You're strong, but so dumb.
- Watch your words.
What planet are you from?
He gets top grades in school.
It means he studies hard.
What? He pays his friends
to do his homework for him.
It won't do him good.
Money can't buy education.
Come on. He'll give backhanders.
Stop nagging, I'm bored.
You're bored?
Here. I made a slingshot for you.
Don't aim at people!
Take this. Go!
Hello!
I had to wait for you in this heat.
Sorry. I'll make you feel cooler.
Don't splash me!
* See?
' Stop it!
Hello.
- It's good yours here. Let's go.
- No, thanks. l'll sit.
- Can I have a word with you?
- No.
- Don't be so stubborn!
- Let me go!
- You're not cooking lunch today?
- Where did you get that wig?
I bought it.
- Who gave you money?
- I had my own.
Tell Mrs. Gérecka I'll come to
that party. Rawicz invited me.
- Who's Rawicz?
- He's my boss.
- No way!
- Don't be silly.
I'll tell her.
Say hello to your boss.
Goodbye.
- What's all this about?
- I'm jealous.
- So it's true. How do you do it?
- Do what?
- You know. A girl with a girl.
- Stop it. Maniac!
Excuse me... Sorry.
Mr. Rawicz...
You're naughty, Mr. Rawicz.
- Excuse me.
- No problem.
- Don't you feel too hot?
- It's not hot enough.
- I'll get your coat.
- Don't bother.
- Would you like tea or coffee?
- No.
We don't want any orange,
tomato or grapefruit juice.
How about lemon juice?
Can I have a word with you?
Do you have a room here?
Give me the key, will you?
- No way.
- l'll give you a hundred.
- Is that all she's worth?
- How much do you want?
I don't want money.
She's married.
I heard.
- She loves her husband.
- I heard about him. He's a crook.
Not really.
He was charged unfairly.
He's a very good man.
- Stop your advances.
- Stop bothering me.
- Leave her alone.
- You leave me alone!
Wait.
You don't have to clean.
Or cook. I eat out.
You don't have to do the laundry.
Do you have a boyfriend?
No.
All women say that. Later it
turns out they do. Never mind.
You can invite him to your room.
Only there.
What are my duties?
You'll see. lt's important
you keep your mouth shut.
Not a word about me to anybody.
And stay away from the bathroom.
Where will I wash?
There's a sink in the kitchen.
And a separate loo.
Speaking of your duties.
This is a map.
I've marked all grocery stores.
Every morning
you'll go to five stores
and buy five kilos of sugar
and yeast.
You can go to each store
only once.
If you run out of stores in our
district, you'll go to further ones.
Is that all?
- How much is the sugar?
- 525 zlotys.
Here you are.
Thank you.
- It's heavy.
- I live nearby.
- Want a hand?
- No, thanks. Goodbye.
- What is this?
- I bought two sacks to stock up.
What did I tell you?
Buy no more than
five kilos in one store.
I'm sorry.
You're doing harm
to Polish science.
I'm working on a major invention.
To determine
the content of sugar in sugar
depending on radiation.
In one store the content
of sugar in sugar
is 80 percent after
a yearly shelf life,
while in another
it's 90 percent.
Saccharin has 500 percent!
Quiet!
Thanks to my invention
we wont have to grow sugar beets.
We'll have sugar in sugar!
Five kilos of sugar, please.
I'll take five... make it six kilos!
- Take it easy, lady.
- Sorry.
You want to sit down? Go ahead.
There's room for two.
Leave me alone!
I was just trying to be polite.
She bawled me out!
I gave my seat up to a lady before
and I'm paying alimony now.
- Let go of my bag!
- What?
Your briefcase got caught
in my string bag!
- You want me to call the police?
- Listen, you...
What?
Wait!
Your bag!
Professor!
What?
Is anybody at the door?
No. I'm through
with riding trams or buses.
- Something happens to me every time.
- OK. l'll think of something.
- Professor, I lied to you.
- What do you mean?
About that boyfriend.
I don't have one,
I have a girlfriend.
- Can she visit me?
- OK.
But don't let her walk around here.
Go straight to your room.
- OK.
- We'll lock the door.
Whafs all this sugar for?
The professor makes experiments.
How's yourjob?
Mr. Rawicz had an accident.
- Really? What happened?
- He got hit.
- Accidents happen. Where is he now?
- In the hospital.
That's done. We got money for you.
My monthly pay.
- I'll save it for our apartment.
- Good.
What have you done? You dumped
packs of sugar into one bag?
I took notes
which are from which store.
These are from the delicatessen,
and these from the supermarket...
Didn't anybody find it suspicious?
Did anybody follow you?
Watch you?
No. Why?
I have to keep
my experiments secret.
Nobody can find out.
I thought you wanted to determine
the content of sugar in sugar.
That's right! And radioactivity.
You wouldn't understand!
I told you to buy five kilos of sugar
and get back home. Home!
You understand?
Take it off my pay.
I'll throw this sugar out.
No! l'll throw it out myself!
Whafs going on in there?
I'm coming! Just a minute!
Whafs wrong?
Nothing. We got a toothache.
Take a painkiller. I have to go.
l'll be back tonight.
Fine.
I forgot my... What is this?
I won't tell anybody. I had no idea
it was a large scale production.
You're dead right
you won't tell anybody.
Stay here!
Maria!
Come out here. Come out!
Come here. I did some thinking.
There is a solution.
- What?
- You'll be my wife.
- Me?
- Yes. You'll be my wife.
- What? You don't like me?
- That's not the point.
Quiet! I'll be good to you.
- It's not possible.
- Why? I'm proposing to you.
- It's not possible.
- Why?
- Because I can't.
- What do you mean?
Why?
Thafs why.
Brilliant operation.
Well done.
You're a police officer.
Go on, lieutenant.
Call your squad.
Tough luck.
- I'll take a bunch of carrots.
- I have nice tomatoes.
I'll come tomorrow.
- Maria! I have fresh lettuce!
- No, thanks.
Try my delicious cherries.
- Want some?
- Maybe tomorrow.
We'll wait with lunch
for my husband.
Excuse me, what does he do?
My husband is a manager.
I'd like to thank all of you
for your cooperation.
I'm moving on to a new job
in a highly responsible sector.
Its the Central Urban
Development Institute.
Thank you.
- What exactly is yourjob now?
- I'm building towns.
- How much will you make?
- More than in waterworks.
More than for rationalization?
- That was in cement works.
- What's the difference?
There it was easy to calculate
if savings measures generated losses.
Here I don't sign anything.
Maybe it's for the best.
Just remember
what that guy told you...
What did he say?
That all thafs left for
you is local industry.
- Fine.
- I'm not moving from Warsaw.
You think local industry is where?
They have their headquarters
right next to the institute.
- Here in Warsaw?
- Sure.
Don't worry.
I just started work.
Soon l'll reorganize everything.
You know how long it takes
to build a town? Three years.
Then you have to deal with defects,
complaints. lt's four years easy.
Don't say anything in front of her.
- She's too stupid to understand.
- You're right.
- What are these?
- Cooperative high-rises.
I see.
Thafs the lake.
Well, in that case...
No, it's OK.
We'll move the lake here.
Wake up. There's somebody
to see you. Shall I let him in?
Yes.
Come in.
Good day.
Excuse me, you forgot to sign
invoices. We can't pay out.
Have a seat. Let...
what's his name Kownacki sign them.
- It's in your name.
- Let me see.
You'll get paid.
For what?
Author's fees for adjusting
the town planning project.
OK.
- How are you doing?
- I'm fine.
- Any problems?
- No.
- Everything is fine?
- Yes.
Here you are.
- Thank you. Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
I don't think you should write.
Focus on the spoken word.
Remember what that guy said?
- What?
- You know.
I have to finish it. Its not hard.
I'll read the introduction to you.
“Challenges posed by life to spatial
development have contributed
to the expansion
of construction work.
One example is the urbanization
project of Michaiéw district”.
It - I can't find the right word -
quarrels, opposes , is against...
Clashes.
Good. Clashes.
No, it clashes with a larger,
broader concept...
General concept.
“It clashes with the general concept
outlined last February”.
- Maria?
- Yes?
- Did you prompt me?
- Anything wrong?
Thafs not the point.
I'm amazed you know such words.
You bring home so much literature.
I read while I cook.
Did you read this article?
It's nonsense.
A guy wants to tear down 19th century
buildings to build beer bars.
Shops, not beer bars.
New buildings replace relics.
Why do it when relics
are in good condition?
These relics will outlive
many new buildings.
The concept of tearing down
19th century buildings is a relic.
Today they're just as valuable
as 18th century architecture.
We can find many great examples
of Secession style.
Maria?
I know Polish Secession does not
equal that of Odessa or Vienna...
Maria?
Sorry, my soup will burn.
No! Sit down.
That article you helped me with.
I got 2800 zlotys for it.
Let's split the fee.
You'll get 1800. Is that OK?
Sure. Thank you.
We could write more articles.
We have to find a good topic.
There you are! Thanks a lot.
You got me into trouble.
Local industry, here I come!
What happened?
Maria came up with this new concept.
What's it called?
The concept of integrating historic
buildings into urban landscape.
- It's a very good concept.
- Thafs right.
You said it yourself.
It's too good.
It caused a great stir.
Have you read the papers?
Sure. They say it's a revolution
in urban development.
Who asked you for a revolution?
It's pandemonium. We have
to receive architects, consultants.
Congratulations keep coming in.
The TV wants to do an interview.
Great. You were never
interviewed before.
Dont you get the point?
For many years nobody bothered me.
I know people who had new concepts.
Now they're history.
No way. You have to take it all back.
You'll do it personally.
- I can't. You're good at it.
- You're a great speaker.
I can speak on general topics,
I can highlight
the international situation.
When it comes to details,
Maria has to do it.
I want you to be present at that
interview. You'll be my...
Consultant?
Thafs right. l'll explain.
Put my suit on.
I can't have a woman consultant.
You're a maid.
They'll laugh at me.
Put it on. We'll cut your hair.
It's no big deal.
We did things like that when
I worked in entertainment.
- Get changed.
- But...
No buts. Stop fussing.
How long does it take to change?
Something is wrong.
Your hair.
Thafs how men wear it nowadays,
especially artists.
Walk around the room.
Put your hand in your pocket.
Sit down.
Men don't sit that way.
Of course. Men walk this way.
And they sit this way.
Thafs right.
Maybe it's the tie.
Stop interfering! Damn it!
Put a tie on. Not that one!
Pick a nice one.
- How about this one?
- OK.
Good. See?
The suit doesn't fit. Theres a trunk
in the kitchen closet. Get it.
I've kept one of my suits
from old times.
If that damned maid broke her leg,
it'll be the end of me.
- What is this?
- Why haven't you changed?
- What is this?
- It's a painting. What about it?
Where did you get it?
Ifs not a good time to talk
about paintings. Get changed.
Where did you get it?
I don't know.
Where did we get it?
Remember when you worked for
the Central Museum Management?
A client came to see you.
How did it get here?
- What?
- This painting.
The wall was bare so I decided
to find something in the storeroom.
What can I do for you?
- So nobody stole it?
- Stole what?
Nobody stole it.
I had it taken down when I saw
it was scaring clients off.
- Whafs this about?
- You didn't sign a receipt?
As a manager? I didn't need to.
Why aren't you dressed?
Exactly, why?
Whafs this about?
Maria!
Come out!
Maria, it's me. Open up!
- Very good.
- What?
- Excellent disguise.
- Goodbye.
Great glasses. Come here.
- I have to go.
- Where?
- Home.
- What home?
- Home to my wife.
- You have a wife?
- Of course.
- And kids?
Not yet. But I want to.
Now I have to find
a good name for you.
- I have a name.
- What is it?
- Stanislaw Maria Rochowicz.
- Good.
Maria!
How do I get to Powiéle?
Go straight along Lazienkowska
thoroughfare.
- It's you! My poor darling, at last!
- What's going on here?
I've moved our things
to our new apartment.
Did the police tell you
they dropped the charges?
- They said something...
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Maria, I...
- Don't call me Maria!
- Listen...
- What? Why didn't you tell me?
- I didn't tell you?
- No.
You said that when were financially
stable, you can do research work.
And we can have a baby.
80 if you work as a maid...
- A maid?
- You'll work mornings.
Are you crazy?
What are you saying?
You want me to humiliate myself
so you can buy more rags?
I slave away for people
and make a fool of myself!
- Let's go to our apartment.
- Leave me alone!
You think l'll calm down? No!
- Why didn't you tell me?
- I told you why.
- No, you didn't.
- I did.
You told me nothing.
I make a fool of myself,
dress up as a woman...
Nice! A pleasant breeze.
- I'm turning right.
- Why? Go straight.
- Why straight?
- I want to go straight.
- It'll be faster.
- Sit down!
- Do as I say!
- Don't touch the steering wheel!
- Easy on the brakes!
- It's OK.
You'll ruin the car!
- Go on, help me.
- OK.
Push harder. Hit it.
- Now the top.
- Don't pull!
- Look at the time.
- So what?
So nothing!
Nice wheels!
- Nice guy.
- I bet he's a hustler.
Hello!
You think you can drive over
people's feet? I'll get you!
Good morning.
THE END
English subtitles: lwona Morenc
STUDIO PUBLISHING