Pooltime (2010) - full transcript
David is well-liked, middle-aged, successful, gay, and lonely but not alone. At his annual weekend pool party, his actions reflect this developing mood as he invites only his three best gay pals - Paulo, Roger and Virgil (all of whom are much like David himself: fairly handsome and fit, intelligent, gay, middle-aged and unattached). As David's thoughts want to head in a particular direction, outsiders keep intruding on his intimate gathering (a freeloading neighbor, a sister needing a babysitter, an old peach grower, and a mother who'd like to see her son connected). The one outsider who seems to be taking his sweet time butting in is the pizza boy with their food order.
(inspirational instrumental music)
(soft music)
- Hey, it's David.
I can't have him here this afternoon.
He can't be here today.
I have guests.
I'll call you later this week.
(upbeat instrumental music)
♫ I'm tired and confused of
what people say in the news
♫ That being gay is so wrong
♫ Continue to gaze and only
strike you, you, CSO, oh
♫ I look at the clock, I
don't want to wait any more
♫ I think it is time to come out
♫ I want to be free like
the birds, yeah, yeah.
♫ A thousand bells are
telling to my heart tonight
♫ That it's so fucking
fierce to be gay, oh boy
♫ And not even you're a
thousand motherfuckers baby
♫ Gonna change me ever
♫ Why don't you let me
be just the way I am
♫ God made me like this, gay, fabulous
♫ And not even you're a
thousand motherfuckers baby
♫ Gonna change me ever.
♫ I don't even care what people
think of me anymore tonight
♫ I want to celebrate,
nobody tells me what to do
♫ With my life, love myself,
I'm so proud to be gay.
♫ And I share all my
pride, any day of my life.
(water rippling)
- I'm going to stay in the pool all day.
- I hate the end of summer.
- I'm trying to make it last.
- I'm hungry.
- You're always hungry.
- You should talk.
- I'm always horny, and
I've seemed to notice
the same affliction in you too David.
- Hungry or horny?
- Yes.
- Would you say I'm
more hungry than Virgil,
or more horny than you?
- Hmm, difficult to say.
- See, the secret to life is balance.
- I'm still hungry.
And where have I seen this before?
- Deja Vu.
- They closed that club before I came out.
- Order a pizza.
And that was Odyssey.
- Watch it old man.
You will date yourself.
(splashes)
- I just got out.
(splashing)
(upbeat disco music)
(laughing)
- No, Virgil, no!
- Come here, you!
- No, good luck!
- All these boys, hitting
each other with their noodles
and throwing their balls around.
What more could I ask for?
- Yeah?
(splashing)
Boy could ask for more.
(soft, dreamy music)
- I need product, I
need more hair product.
(phone rings)
- Paulo.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
- Apparently, there's
something about David
and cell phones and pools
and Sunday afternoons.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, bye.
- You know the rules.
(phone splashes)
- Ahh.
Ahh.
I'm going for a new phone.
There's a store on the Boulevard
and they're open Sunday.
They'd better be open Sunday.
(somber music)
(birds chirping)
- Well that didn't do a bit of good.
That was really crummy of you.
- Paulo needed a new phone.
He's had that one for two months.
- God damnit, David, why
do you have to be so you?
Why can't you just be like somebody else?
Like everybody else for once?
- I tried that once, but
it didn't work for me.
(lively music)
- Oh my God, my next door neighbor.
♫ So incredible
- Hi, Tad.
- Hey, David.
Hey Mr. Virgil,
how are you guys doing today?
- Good, Tad, good.
How are you?
- Ah, you know me, nothing
going on, living next door.
You guys having a party?
- No, just some friends visiting.
- Alright.
- Tad, it's kind of
just some close friends.
You know, with problems?
- Oh, right, right right.
- So, I kind of need
to talk to them alone.
They wouldn't understand
if a together guy like you were here,
they'd find it intimidating.
- Oh, I understand.
I'll come back for some pizza.
You know, you and I?
We're exactly the same.
- I don't think we're ordering pizza.
- Always trying to help people.
I thought I heard you
guys talking about pizza.
I love Hawaiian pizza.
- Sure, well, that's for later.
I'll call you.
- Oh, okay, if you wanna.
- I'll see ya.
I really need a lock on this gate.
Pineapple on a pizza, it's an abomination!
- Right, Mr. Little Italy.
- Hey, I'm not ethnocentric.
Just respect the memory
of my sainted grandmother.
The one who disowned me.
- That exorcism might've helped.
What time is it?
- Lunchtime, same time as always for you.
- Don't be jealous because
I never gain a pound.
- I'm not jealous, I'm appreciative.
- So you're going to the White Party?
- No.
- It'll be fun.
- Nope.
- I'm going to the White Party.
- Don't you think you
should let that heal first?
- I didn't know he was a biter.
There'll be handsome boys.
- On crystal.
- Dancing,
- To the same eternal relentless beat.
If they weren't high,
they'd notice the music
hasn't changed since 1991.
- Lots of lips for kissing.
- Lots of diseases for missing.
- Hey, I always play safe.
- You play safer.
And that's not what I
mean and you know it.
Why don't you and I go up
the coast for the weekend?
- I'd miss the White Party.
- Somehow, I think there'll
be another one pretty soon.
We could go out to Death Valley.
- What for?
- Dates?
Imperial Valley dates?
Get out of town.
- But I might miss,
- What?
- Nothing.
- What nothing?
(Virgil sighs)
- I'm going to the White Party.
- What's his name?
- There's no particular one.
Well there's no one there in
particular I'm going to see.
- Oh, you're going shopping
at the White Party.
Why you never ever?
- What?
- Never ever ended up with,
- Who?
- Someone.
But I guess you just never
really wanted that, did you?
- When?
- Never really wanted
that ring on the finger,
ball and chain sort of romance.
All the men that you've
been with, you've never,
never made that commitment.
I guess that's why you're alone.
You like being on your own, on the prowl,
jumping from bed to bed
like some sexual athlete.
- That's not really true.
I have wanted to be with someone.
- Mr. Perfect, Mr. Wonderful, Mr. Adonis,
Mr. Moneybags, Mr. Actor-boy, Mr. Famous.
- David, you know, you've
been searching for it too.
Just that thing.
- Yes.
But if I really want it,
why don't I have it by now?
Time will catch up with us someday.
- This weekend or this minute?
(laughing)
Ho ho ho.
- David, do you got any
cheese in that fridge?
- There's plenty by the pool.
- Where is everyone?
- Who?
- Sammy and Rico and Paul and Joe
and Marty and JD and Victor, Tom and John.
- I decided to keep it
small this afternoon.
- (Gasps) You didn't invite anyone else?
Are you being anti-social?
- Hardly that.
- Four people in your pool
and that's not anti-social?
Usually your pool is boy-soup
by the end of the weekend.
- I just want to have a
relaxing Sunday afternoon
with a few of my best friends.
- All of whom, you've tried
to get in the pants of,
in years past and succeeded.
Happy now?
- That just whetted my appetite.
- We know all about your
appetite, White Party boy.
- Oh, you're going to the White Party?
- When does he not?
He's afraid he might miss something,
or someone.
Or someone.
- Hey, is David okay?
I mean, why didn't he invite
anyone else to this thing?
- Well he's allowed to have
a relaxing Sunday afternoon.
- I think he's having a midlife crisis.
- He can't be having a midlife crisis,
he's not old enough yet.
- How do you know how old he is?
- Well he's what, like 30-something?
- When I met him 12 years
ago, he was 30-something.
- So?
- Do the math, Roger.
- Oh.
- I think he's having that
meeting-a-boyfriend thing going on.
- Seriously?
Mr. WeHo?
Mr. Endless-stream-of-guys?
Mr. Installed-a-revolving-bedroom-door?
- Well, he's behaving strangely.
I'm still hungry.
- I'm still hungry too
and you ate the last of whatever that was.
- I said to order a pizza.
The number for Pizzacola is on the fridge,
if Virgil didn't eat it.
- We would need to use the phone for that.
- There's one in the house.
Rule is, no phones by the pool.
- What do you want?
- Meatlovers!
What?
(laughing)
- Pizzacola special.
Basil and sun-dried tomato.
- And extra cheese, sauce
and make it thick crust.
- Okay, I will order the pizza
since you must be served.
- And make it a large.
(laughing)
So whatever did happen to you-know-who?
- Who?
- That guy you were dating.
- His name must never be spoken.
- Whatever he did,
- We just didn't work out.
We,
he was HIV-positive.
Lied to me about it too.
And no, I'm not, at least
not since April 15th.
Tested every tax day and birthday.
- So,
you broke up with him
because he lied to you,
or because he was positive?
- I didn't break up with him, he left me.
Never gave me the chance
to break up with him.
- Would you have?
Broke up?
- He never gave me the chance to find out.
You know what was the
worst thing about it all?
When I found out he'd been lying to me,
he was never going to stay.
If he'd been interested in staying,
he'd have told me the truth.
- Oh.
So you were in love with him.
- It's pretty humiliating.
I should know better.
Me, of all people, I should know better.
- Know better than what?
- Than to fall in love in West Hollywood.
How many times do you think
that happens in your life,
that you really fall in love?
Once, maybe twice, or never?
Not just in lust, or infatuation,
or abandoned reckless drunken desperation.
- Taking my name in vain again?
- Which one?
Reckless, drunken or desperation?
- Abandoned.
- Virgil was just about
to give me a blowjob
when you showed up.
- Well it's a big job,
but someone's gotta do it.
- We were just negotiating the rates.
- Keep it up, I may even
start to believe you.
- I think I should get hazard pay.
- Or I should get a bulk discount.
- Ha, you wish.
- David has never paid for sex.
- Oh, I've paid for it.
- You've stolen it.
You've broken a few
hearts of your own, David.
Uh, where's the damn pizza?
- Why's he so emotional?
Why's he get so upset?
- Roger's okay, he just needs
to know he can have someone.
I wonder if he knows
someone who'd want him
for more than one night, or one weekend.
(gate thumps)
(upbeat music)
- [Anna] Hello, boys.
- Sounds like your mother.
Your mother!
- Hello, boys.
- Hello, mother.
- Hello, Mrs.,
- Oh, please, call me Mama Anna.
- So good to see you.
- Oh David, you can cut the crap.
A boy like you, such a
waste, so full of bullshit.
- Yes, Mama Anna.
- You wasting your life, knock it off.
- Uh, Mother just stopped by to say hello.
- It's been so long.
- You're always welcome here.
- [Virgil] Mother, look at the citrus.
- Ya, sure, what beer do you have on tap?
(soft dreamy music)
- Beer from a can.
- Mother.
- I just don't want you to
forget your Nordic roots.
- I grew up in the Central Valley.
- Well, that's not your fault.
- Why are you so mean to David?
Can't you say something nice?
- Oh, I like David just fine.
I mean he sleeps around, he
mostly ignores his friends,
he doesn't do any charity work,
but he seems very nice.
- Who are you talking about?
Well David helps a lot of
people, more than you know.
- Well, that's good to hear.
- He's our host, you could
be a little more gracious,
and he's my friend.
- Alright, after all,
he's almost like family.
You have known him for so long.
(upbeat music)
(dreamy music)
- I dare you.
(playful, mischievous music)
(David gasps)
(laughing)
- You have guests.
It's not polite to ignore your guests.
- I thank you, I'll show you
that I won't neglect my guests.
- No, don't take me, no.
I'm just reminding you
of your hosting duties.
- Thank you, I'll show you
that I won't neglect my guests.
(splashing)
(laughing)
(dreamy music)
- Dude, I swear, children.
Five year olds.
- Oh.
- What was that?
- What was what?
- That whole underwater thing just now.
- I was just playing.
- Playing?
That was playing?
- Playing, in the pool, what else?
- Playing in the pool.
- Right.
- You weren't just flirting with me?
- No more than usual,
unless you were flirting with me?
- No more than usual.
- Nope.
- You suck at lying.
- What do you want?
It was nothing.
- Right then.
- Okay.
- Fine.
- Good.
- Perfect.
(rock music)
- Pathetic.
Pathetic.
You are, like Roger says, babies.
Someday you will grow up.
I hope before it's too late
and don't you try to say anything,
you just will make it worse.
Really, David, when are
you going to learn to see
what is right before your eyes?
Uh uh uh, you are the charmer,
so handsome and good-looking.
Maybe you can pull the wool
over the eyes of your friends
but I see right through you.
You think I didn't have men
wrapped around my little finger?
You think I don't know what you're up to?
Stop kidding yourself, David,
you don't want to make those mistakes.
Trust me, I know.
Beauty, but no brains.
- Hey there.
- Who's that?
- Did I see Virgil's sister come in here?
- Oh no, no, Virgil is my son
but he's big for his age,
his father was a pole
vaulter at university.
- Mother.
- Tad, this is Mama Anna.
Mama Anna, this is Tad,
next door neighbor.
- Charmed, I'm sure.
You're lovely.
- Please, call me Anna.
- Certainly, you can't be Virgil's mother.
You can't be a day over 29.
- Delighted and right next
door, such a small world.
- Do you enjoy gardening?
- Oh yes.
- I'd be honored to show you
my display of begonias.
- It would be an honor,
and you must come to visit so
I can show you my tomatoes.
- I'd love to see them.
♫ You are
♫ So incredible
♫ Unforgettable
(laughing)
- I'm going to ignore
this, this did not happen.
- Really?
- She's my mother.
I'm very good at denial.
- This explains a lot to me.
(soft dreamy music)
- Well, I must say, Virgil
gets his looks from you.
- Really, I always thought
he took after his dad.
Oh, but he passed away a long time ago.
- Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
- Yeah, well, that's life.
(soft music)
Are those cucumbers?
- Yes, that's right.
- Are they for pickling?
- Exactly.
I must say, you have a beautiful
appreciation of nature.
- Well, I don't miss much.
Is there a Mrs. Tad?
- Oh, no.
I'm an old military man.
Ex-Navy seaman.
- That was my weakness, a man in uniform.
- Well maybe someday I can
squeeze into my dress whites.
- Well, I'm sure you would
look so handsome in them.
- Any many would look
handsome with you on his arm.
- Any woman would be so lucky
to have a man in uniform for a escort.
- Anna, you really are lovely.
I don't think I've ever
met a woman like you.
- No, I'm sure that's true.
Now, where are those begonias?
- Begonias, begonias,
they're right over here.
- So, how long do you know David?
- I met him when I first moved in.
He was so excited to meet me.
Been best friends ever since.
- Really.
Do you go to David's pool parties?
- Oh well no, I'm not an athlete,
in the pool.
I wouldn't want to show
him up, ex-Navy and all.
- And what do you think
of Virgil and David?
- What?
Well they seem like lifelong friends.
Did they grow up together?
- No, not yet.
I mean, no, they met when
Virgil moved to West Hollywood.
- I like it here.
Everyone is so friendly and gay
and they wear such bright clothes
and they're all so happy
and they smile all the time.
- Yes, it must be the weather.
- And I was wondering,
I would really like it
if maybe you could see your way to maybe,
- I would be happy to go to tea with you
next Sunday afternoon at
Imperial Garden Tea House,
11 A.M. and make
reservations by the entrance.
- Table at the entrance, right.
Anna,
- Oh, Tad, I've been around
the block once or twice.
- Well I go for walks around
the neighborhood every evening.
I visit all the neighbors,
they love to see me.
- I mean, I've seen a bit
of the world, you know?
- Oh, I travel too.
I've been to Singapore,
Hawaii, San Francisco,
San Diego, Panama,
- And yet you see so little.
I mean, there's so much
in life to still see.
- The world is such a big place.
I would love some company.
- That would be nice.
We all need someone.
(soft dreamy music)
- So, when was the last time
you were really in love?
- Uh, I don't know his name.
- What?
- Shut up and let him tell the story.
You know I live for this stuff.
- It was at the White Party,
or maybe the Black Party?
(laughing)
I'm pretty sure it was at Palm Springs.
- You don't know his name?
- I was distracted.
If he ever said his
name, I never heard it.
- Well, what does he do?
- I don't know.
I look at him, there he was.
- What was he wearing?
- I don't remember.
- Oh my God.
- What did he look like?
- His hair was blond-ish or brown-ish.
He was wearing a baseball cap when we met.
- And?
- And he had blue eyes,
green or brown-ish.
He was either a little bit taller than me
or a little bit shorter.
- Obviously, he was the love of your life.
- I didn't know it at first.
I didn't know when I met him.
I realized it when I couldn't
stop thinking about him.
- He must have an enormous,
(mimics a bell ringing)
- No, no, not really.
Not always about that.
- Wow, you must have
really fallen for him.
- Can't remember.
He did smell good though, I remember that.
It's funny how you spend a
little bit of time with someone
and you keep thinking about
them for a long time after.
- Aww.
- So when is the pizza coming?
- I don't know.
- How much did they charge you?
- You did order a
Pizzacola special, right?
- They say if they were busy?
- I didn't ask and they didn't specify.
- You should always get a details
when you contact for something.
- It's a fucking pizza.
- You know, that's a frightening image.
- So they give you an
estimated delivery time or not?
- Not.
- Usually it comes within an hour.
- And you ordered it about
what, 10 minutes ago?
- It will be here when it's here.
- That's not good planning.
- Look, I ordered a meat
lovers and a Pizzacola special.
It'll come, some pizza
boy will come up the drive
and deliver the pizza.
- Mmm, God, I hope he's cute.
- Just delivering the pizza,
what difference does it make?
- It always makes a difference.
- Mm, you gotta repeat the order now.
- So, so it didn't say for
sure when it would be here
or how long it takes to bake?
- Might be a pizza girl.
- Mm, not nearly as interesting.
- And you did tell them
to deliver in the back?
- Ohhh.
- Around the back of the house.
- Yes, I told them we were at the pool.
- Did you order thick or thin crust?
- Yeah, thick stays in the oven longer.
I mean it takes longer to, fuck, jeeze.
- I didn't specify.
- Well, I wish you'd ordered extra sauce,
extra cheese, and extra toppings.
- It's a pizza.
It's supposed to be flat and crisp.
Not soggy and lumpy.
- So what time is it now?
- [Roger] I like Hawaiian pizza.
- I'm done discussing the pizza.
- I like talking about pizza.
- Sorry, I'm just really really hungry.
- I just hope it tastes decent
or we'll have to send it back.
- I never,
send food back.
- Next time, we're ordering Italian.
- [Together] Too late!
- You're already here.
Everybody likes two types of men.
- How is that?
- The kind they like,
and Italian.
(laughing)
(soft dreamy music)
- How much was the phone?
- Don't worry about it.
- Look, I'll pay for it.
- It's no big deal, I broke the rules.
- Well, I'll send you a check.
- Look, not everything
has to be about money.
- Wow.
- What?
- That's something coming
from a businessman.
- Well there's more to it than that.
- It would be nice to see it.
- You've seen it.
- I seem to remember, we
broke up over negotiations.
- What?
- We just met.
You were already planning
the end of the relationship
before we even fell in love,
if we ever had a chance to.
- What?
- Where shall we live?
What car should we keep?
If we break up, you want
the dog and I keep the cat.
How much should be joint income,
how much individual accounts?
- Well, these things are important.
- Not on the third date.
- Well you have to discuss them sometime.
So why should we wait and
find out it's a waste of time?
- I didn't know the time
we spent was wasted.
(phone rings)
- Hello?
(soft contemplative music)
(upbeat music)
- Hey sis, I called.
- David.
- Tiana.
Hey Dexter.
- Hey Uncle Dave.
- Dave?
- You're not answering your phone.
- No phones at the pool.
- It is David's first rule.
- Oh shut up.
- What's so important
on a Sunday afternoon?
- You have to watch Dexter.
- You want me to babysit?
You must be desperate.
Me, the gay uncle, babysitting.
- He's not a baby.
- I kind of have company.
Good, they can watch you, watching him,
so you don't screw up.
- Who's the desperate parent here?
- Listen, Dexter's father's in town,
and the jerk has a child support payment
I need to go pick up
and I want Dexter nowhere near his father.
So you, are going to watch Dexter
as a favor to your sweet little sister.
Do I need to explain myself twice?
(Tiana's pretzel stick snaps)
- Hey Dex, you wanna hang with your uncle
while your mom runs an errand?
♫ Straighter than myself
♫ My love is to imitate ya
♫ No I cannot 'cause you're the fool
♫ Just took some time to see
♫ No more chances, no more games.
♫ Time to move on.
(gate slams shut)
♫ Time to finally free
them waiting for so long.
(car starts with a rumble)
(car screeches away)
♫ No more chances, no more games.
- There's soda in the cooler.
- Cool.
- So, how's school?
- Okay.
- Things okay with your friends?
- Yeah.
- Seen any good movies lately?
- Not really.
- There's swim trunks in the guest bath
if you want to go swimming.
- I think I'll get a soda.
- Cool.
- No beer.
♫ Yeah
♫ Oh yeah
♫ Oh
- She gone yet?
- For now.
(soft music)
- That's your nephew?
- Kids are so weird,
I was never like that.
- No, you were never quite like Dex.
- Children, they're so hetero.
Baby strollers and puberty
and elementary school.
Does remind me of somebody though.
- David?
He reminds you of David.
- How am I like Dexter?
- Tall, handsome.
- Sexy and with a very strong personality.
- Someone who doesn't put up
with anything they don't like.
- Somebody who gets what they want.
- I don't think that's
either Dexter or me.
- And the tiniest bit sullen
in a very sexually seductive way.
- Mm, that's true.
Poor Dexter.
- Doomed to be just like his gay uncle.
- Only, is he?
- Please, at his age?
Well okay, I knew.
We all knew, we all know.
Although, I did meet a guy once,
who claimed he didn't know he was gay
until one day in college,
- I love these coming out stories.
- Coming out of the college library,
looked at a guy and
thought, what a great ass.
And then realized, oh my god, I'm gay.
- That does not sound very likely to me.
- He swore he had girlfriends
and everything before that.
- Wow.
What would that be like?
- Well, it's not bad.
It's just not bad and you know?
It's like sports.
Sometimes exercise, it is fun.
(laughing)
- So, did you have sex with him?
- As I recall, he was a pretty good kisser
and a very passionate lover.
It's always nice to connect with someone.
- Yeah, I hate the selfish bottom.
- Yes, a selfish bottom.
Someone who only cares
about their own pleasure,
who you can go at with a baseball bat
and it wouldn't quite be big enough.
That wasn't him.
Well, we did everything
and every combination we could think of.
He was extraordinarily versatile.
He had a great imagination.
- So why isn't he here?
- I kept thinking, what if
he looks at a busty girl
and thinks what a great rack,
and then oh my god, I'm straight.
(laughing)
And then, he moved to Modesto.
- Oh, tragic.
- That's like falling off
the face of the earth,
or even West Hollywood.
- Where is Dexter anyway?
- I grew up in Barstow,
and your father was a Marine.
- Yeah, coming out was so much fun.
Late night argument,
introduction to the boyfriend,
the early morning denial and repudiation.
Ahh, good times.
- And Mr. Modesto, he
didn't smell quite right.
- Quite right?
- Sometimes,
well let's just say, he
didn't smell as good as you.
Not as amazingly fresh
and achingly, sensuously good-smelling,
the fragrance of your
beautiful, graceful body.
- How do I smell?
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
- The fuck?
- He was on your computer.
- So, big deal?
- He was looking at naked
ladies on the internet.
- Ew.
- Well, that answers that question.
(soft dreamy music)
- Not cool, Dex, you
could get me in trouble.
- It's no big deal, everyone does it.
- I have never looked at
naked ladies on the internet.
- Yeah, we know.
- Dex, you really shouldn't
look at that stuff.
- Like uncle, like straight nephew.
- There's nothing wrong with it.
- Dex, at your age, sex is
supposed to be a mystery.
- Really?
Life is so strange.
- Yes, you're supposed
to be obsessing about it,
not looking at it on the internet.
- What's the harm?
- What's the harm?
What's the harm?
The harm is that you're
supposed to be forming
emotional attachments now and dating,
not hooking up and substituting
sex for relationships.
- Everyone hooks up.
- Yeah?
- Well you are not everyone.
Some day it's going to make them sad.
Some day they're going to
be middle-aged and alone
and have a trail of broken
relationships behind them
and staring at getting
old alone until one day,
no one wants them anymore.
Unless it's for their money
and they hope they drop dead real fast.
Is that what you want to happen to you?
Is that how you want to end up?
- No.
It's just so hard to
ask girls out on a date.
They get mad if you pay attention
and then, it's even worse
if you leave 'em alone.
- Dex, the thing where they
get mad at you for no reason?
- Yeah.
- That's sexual aggression.
They want you to come onto them.
- No way.
- Way.
- But they're all mad at me.
- Dexter, it's because you're handsome.
They think you won't go out with them
because they're insecure.
- What?
- Dexter, you're smoking hot.
You're gonna get more so.
I mean, have you checked
out your uncle lately?
Hello.
- Yeah, it's true.
I mean, look at him.
And, it's in your family,
you're stuck with it.
- Guys.
Look, when they get mad at you,
just say something nice to them.
Then, keep saying nice
things to them until you get,
I mean until you, until they like you.
But don't lie.
- Oh God, do not tell lies.
- Well, what do you mean?
- Never, never tell a woman a lie.
They, they know.
- And if they're so
desperate to believe you,
then you are screwed
because you are stuck with that lie.
- You said I was pretty.
- Oh you said it was
more than just friends.
- I'll kill myself if you leave me.
- You said you loved me.
- Ahh.
- See, if you're honest with people,
you can only hurt them a little.
But if you tell lies,
then they're just set up
for the big hurt later.
- What's the big hurt?
- The breakup.
- The end.
- When it doesn't work out.
- Why doesn't it work out?
I mean, if you want it to.
- Dex, at your age, if she's pretty
and you both like the same
band, you think you're in love.
You are in love, but it's not love.
- You keep changing and
growing up and pretty soon,
that pretty girl in high school is
the anchor around your neck
when you wanna go to Harvard.
- Or Cal State Northridge.
- Or Oxford.
- Anglophile.
- Then, there's the big straight problem.
- What?
What big straight problem?
- What if you get her pregnant?
- What?
- What if you,
- I wouldn't!
- You're my nephew, trust me, you would.
You will, so you'd better be ready.
- How can I be ready?
- Condoms.
You don't have to do that one
thing that gets her pregnant.
There are many many
many many possibilities.
- Uh uh uh, no no no no.
- And then, there is
the stalker pregnancy.
- Stalker?
- Right.
Better tell your girlfriends
up front, you don't want kids.
And if she got pregnant,
you wouldn't marry her.
And you would have to insist
on adoption for the baby.
- What, I could never,
I mean, I've never even thought about it.
- Dex, you have to.
Greatly reduces the chances
you might have an accident,
just to land a husband.
- And you think that that,
- Definitely could happen to you.
- Dexter, Dex, Dexy-boy,
these things are sad but true.
You wanna be old and fat
and work in a crap job
and no college education,
no career and no travel?
- Of course not.
- You need to be metro-sexual.
- And you would definitely
get laid more often.
- That's true, and he'd make more money.
- What?
- You say that a lot.
Go to the gym, work out,
groom yourself properly,
wear decent clothing,
keep your car clean, and keep
your house clean and orderly.
- That's a lot to ask for.
- You'll have a lot more sex.
- I'll do it.
- And nothing comes to the house
unless it belongs in a home,
and it has a place in the home.
- Everything else goes in the
garage and if it doesn't fit,
sell it or trash it.
- And grooming, get haircuts regularly,
use skin cleanser and moisturizer
and start using some hair gel.
- You want that bed-head look.
- That what?
- You want that bed-head look.
You know, it just looks
like you stumbled out of bed
after a wild night of non-stop sex.
- No-one's gonna believe that.
- Dex, in life, it doesn't
matter what people believe.
What matters is how they perceive you.
People are so fucked up,
they hardly have time to
pay attention to themselves.
So if you look like it, it must be true.
- And money.
- Mm, ah, money.
- Money.
- Money?
- Yes.
If you look like you have more money,
they will pay you more.
- Take 10% of your earnings
and put them away, no matter what.
- Away until when?
- Forever.
- The one who dies with
the most money, wins.
- What good is that?
- Money is freedom.
- Freedom from rent.
- Freedom from mortgages.
- Freedom from credit cards.
- Freedom to travel to Hawaii.
- Freedom to change careers.
- Freedom to take half the year off.
- Freedom to go to the White Party.
(laughing)
- No, no, no, no, no.
- [Virgil] Sorry, I uh, I
got a little carried away.
- Guys, I know what the White Party is.
- You're just jealous because
gay men have more sex than straight men.
- Is that true?
- No, and we will all deny
it if they say it more times.
- Sometimes, it's true.
- My name's Roger and I'm a gay sex-holic,
and I haven't had sex in zero
days, 11 hours and 23 minutes.
- Funny.
You saw John last night?
- Jordan.
- Yes, he's an editor.
Hot.
- Uh, guys, mixed company here.
- Oh, now you know how we feel
every time the guy takes
the girl in his arms
and gives her the big kiss.
Come along with me, I
need to trim those bangs
and introduce you to styling gel.
- Be gentle.
- We're here, we're queer.
- We're gonna need more beer.
(soft dreamy music)
(splashing)
(lively music)
♫ You tell me everything's alright,
♫ Offer me your sympathy
♫ As you don't really care
♫ What you telling me
- Hey.
- Why is my life so fucked?
- Don't feel so special.
- It's worse when he's nice,
and he's very nice today.
- That bastard.
- Thank God, Dexter looks
like our side of the family.
He turned out like his shit-head father,
I swear, I'd drown him in the bath.
- He's a little old for drowning in a bath
and Dexter is nothing like him.
- No he isn't, is he?
He's a good kid.
But if he turned out like
his dad, I swear I would.
- Tiana, he won't.
He won't.
- Dexter, you have homework to do tonight.
- Uncle Virgil is gonna show
me how to do a backflip.
- With my insurance premium?
I don't think so.
Let's go, mister, we're burning daylight.
- Alright, I gotta go.
I'll see you guys.
- See ya, Dex.
- Thanks.
How you doing, David?
There you are.
Tell me about it next time.
(smooching)
- I will.
- I have to get my books.
- Hey Uncle Dave,
how come you and Uncle
Virgl never, you know?
- Virgil and I are so different.
If we were more alike we
might've had something but,
I can't imagine falling
for someone like me.
- But he's, you know, Virgil.
- Tall and blond and beautiful and nice
and kind and fun to be around
and smart and low-key and talented.
- Well yeah.
- I've noticed.
- You're no smarter than a straight guy.
- Out of the mouths of babes.
- I am not a baby.
- No, you're hardly that.
But don't grow up too fast.
You know?
Just enjoy the time
that you have each day.
Dex, future gets here
no matter what you do.
So don't try to rush it.
- God, why do adults
always talk like this?
- Trust me, someday you'll look back
at this time in your life
and wish you'd appreciated it more.
(car honks)
- Yeah, I better get
going, homework and all.
(rippling water)
- Mother.
How was the garden?
- Where's Tad?
- Oh, he's tired.
He was going to lay down.
I need a drink of water.
(soft wistful music)
- [Man] You're such a child.
You're the child.
- Ever wish you had kids?
- Not for a long time.
- Be a great dad.
- Oh really, I must be going.
- So soon?
- I um, hm.
I have appointments with people.
- Drive safe, mother.
- I will.
- David.
Oh forget it!
(laughing)
(soft classical piano)
- Hi, how was your visit with
your son and his friends?
- Oh, Zelda, I,
it was nice.
I, those boys will never
grow up and become men.
- Oh, these roses are in bloom.
- But Virgil doesn't like roses.
He likes fruits and vegetables.
- You have to pick them fresh,
so they ripen on the vine.
- I just want him to be happy.
- You can show him when the fruit is ripe.
- I don't know anything about gardening.
- You're his mother.
You have to teach him.
A boy relies upon his mother.
- Yes, that's true.
- You can learn together.
You can try this and try
that to see what works.
- But I tried everything
and so has Virgil.
- Don't give up, Anna.
- What can I do?
- You know, with gardens,
you can't be afraid to
get your hands dirty.
- Oh, I'm not.
- And there's always next spring.
- I'm not going to wait another year.
I'm going to pick some
vegetables or I'll know why not.
- Remember to wear a hat,
to keep the sun off, dear.
Bye.
(soft dreamy music)
- What are you thinking about?
- Me being a father.
What an idea.
Doesn't seem too likely though.
Seems to me,
I don't know, I guess my dad
was around, when I was little.
Besides, I'd need someone like,
oh, you know, a boyfriend,
to raise a child with.
Someone who is responsible,
who wasn't on drugs,
had a decent job, and
who didn't have to wear
the crazy pants at the
disco dance in LoonyTown.
- What?
- It would have to be someone
I was proud to represent
as my partner and a co-parent of my child.
I wouldn't want someone walking in,
wearing chaps with his
wrinkled ass hanging out
and having the child scarred for life.
Where the hell am I going
to find someone like that?
Someone that I could, you know, marry.
- Wow, you want to marry?
Wouldn't that be like two
Greek statues tying the knot?
I mean, hot, but cold and remote.
- Ask me when I meet that guy.
Ask me who I would want
to make a family with.
- I'll make a note.
Do you have a fever?
Our generation's not that
white picket fence generation, David.
Our generation's that no
prom dates, sex parties,
hook up on the internet,
puking in the alley generation.
- Yes, I remember.
Just like it was last week.
- Mmhm.
- So, who are you seeing now?
- So who am I not seeing now.
The list is shorter.
- Hey, how come we never.
- Never say never.
- Hooked up?
- We had some fun.
Just 'cause we never hooked up.
- Well I kinda always wondered.
Is it that I'm not your type?
Or is it, you know, positional issue?
- No, no, no, God, no, certainly not that.
- Well you never hooked up
with Paulo or Roger either.
Well, you did that one thing for Paulo.
- Happily.
- Why not me then?
What was the problem?
Is it, you know, a size issue?
- No, no, no, God, no.
It's just that I value
your friendship too much
to screw it up with sex.
- That's a lame excuse.
But I guess I get it.
- It's true.
- Major lame excuse.
But I understand.
- Major Lame Excuse,
reporting as ordered, sir.
- Don't distract me with
my man in uniform fetish.
Wait a minute, you never had sex with me.
- Or me, I thought that I was the only one
that Virgil hadn't.
- Well, he gave me a present.
- See, there you go.
- Well, that does not count as sex.
- Why?
- Well you know what I mean,
I mean, it's not intercourse.
- You did not have sexual
relations with that man?
In fact, you have never
had sex, that I know about.
- Oh please, Mr. Sacred Party Queen not?
- That is the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.
Like, Virgil is never,
- Never had anal intercourse?
- [Together] Not that there's
anything wrong with that.
- You guys are crazy, crazy.
- So who, who have you?
- Is it that you don't want to?
- No, no, it's not that it's that.
- Oh my God, you're saving yourself?
- Whozawhatsis?
- Oh, you wouldn't
understand, Mr. White Boy.
You slept with the whole
marching band in high school.
- Well it was a dare.
I couldn't back down.
Even if three of them
playing to be straight.
And it was one at a time.
- Yes.
- Yes?
- Okay.
So I want to save that until
I finally find that guy.
I mean, that's special.
That means something.
That's something you only
do with that special someone
you're gonna spend the
rest of your life with.
- Couple, oh my God.
- Virgil is a virgin. (laughing)
- How is that even possible,
with all the parties you go to?
- Oh it's possible.
They're usually drunk or stoned or worse.
- So you never.
- Nope.
- But you want to.
- Uh huh.
- I can't stand it.
Are you a top or a bottom?
- I'm not sure yet.
- This is insane!
You're, well, you're over 29.
You should do it, seriously.
- Seriously, I'm waiting.
- You know, the first time
isn't really all that great,
compared to later.
- You know, maybe you're not the one
to give me dating advice
and if you're right,
we'll work the sex out,
after I've met him.
- You're not expecting to marry a virgin.
- I'm not expecting to marry anyone.
It would be nice to
live happily ever after.
- And I thought I was a romantic idealist.
- Look, I honestly don't know
what to expect when I finally meet him.
I don't know if I've met him already
or if it'll be love at first sight
or how that feeling actually happens.
Once or twice I thought, maybe, but no.
I spent hours, wondering
what he'll look like,
what color his eyes will be,
if he'll be wild or tame,
if he'll be a geek or a bodybuilder
or a surfer or a librarian.
I wonder what he'll look
like, how he'll feel.
How he'll look when he looks at me.
I gotta believe that
somewhere on this planet
there's a guy for me.
There's gotta be one guy for me.
- That's why you go to all the parties.
- Search parties.
Searching parties, looking for Mr. Right.
- Well, good luck.
- Thanks.
- I was being sarcastic.
Well, what do you know
about finding Mr. Right?
You're busier than a bumblebee.
- What?
- Going from flower to flower,
only you're the one getting pollinated.
- Usually.
- [Together] TMI.
- You ever notice, gay men
are preoccupied with sex.
- Oh you can drop the
word gay in that sentence.
Gay just adds more opportunity, usually.
- Oh God, there must be
a lot of frustrated circuit
party boys out there.
- [Paulo] I always thought
that you and Virgil.
- What?
- A thing.
- We do.
- Why wouldn't he fall for you?
I mean, you're you.
- Handsome, moneyed,
smart, fun, kind, nice.
- Well, yeah, and you
do have a great body.
- Why on earth would anyone
fall in love with me?
I'm far too perfect.
- No you're not.
- Obviously.
I used to think it was them,
but now I realize it must be
me, after all these years.
- What does love have
to do with any of it?
I mean,
- Thank God this isn't a musical.
- In Brazil, love and sex,
we don't even think of them together.
You know, gay man go off, have their fun,
momma stays home with the kids.
The papa has his friends that
comes home sooner or later.
Then momma has her friends too.
You just don't bring it home,
it doesn't exist in the home.
Never bring it home.
- Isn't that a bit hypocritical?
- What, you think the
women, they don't know?
They know, they know.
They know and everyone knows they know.
- So I'm supposed to
get married, have kids,
and run off and have affairs?
Or is your point that I'm supposed to,
fall in love with someone, make a home,
and run off for wild sexcapades,
then I'm supposed to settle for someone
I'm not sexually attracted to.
- Or you get to reach an accommodation.
Everyone does, eventually.
- Not me.
- I want it all.
- David, you have it all.
At least enough.
(snickering)
- Don't you think about anything else?
- Yeah, but, why?
(soft dreamy music)
(gate thumps open)
- Now what?
(birds chirping)
- I brought you boys some
fresh peaches from my tree.
- Thanks Mr. Hutter.
These are my friends,
Virgil and Paulo and Roger.
- Yeah, well, summer's almost over.
You guys need to enjoy your
swimming while you can.
(laughing)
- So nice to meet you, Mr. Hutter.
- I'm not deaf yet,
but I am as old as dirt, alright?
- Wow, these are some
really great peaches.
- Ah, Mr. Hutter, dear?
- Huh, what?
- Gate is over here.
- Oh yeah, the gate, right.
Well I'm not that old.
♫ What's the point in going on.
- I want a peach.
- You'll spoil your dinner.
- Impossible.
- Where is that pizza anyway?
Think they got lost?
- Well maybe they did
deliver to the wrong address.
- Haha, no.
- How old do you think he is?
- Maybe, 80?
- Jesus Christ, I'm halfway there.
- That'll never be you, David.
- What the hell do you know?
It's going to be all of us.
We are all going to run out of time
and turn into Mr. Hutter.
- That's impossible.
- I still don't understand David.
- After all these years, you don't?
- And you do?
- I know he's lonely.
- David is never alone.
- I never said that.
I said he's lonely.
I mean, he's smart,
makes more than twice the money
of all of us put together,
beautiful, kind, nice, and available.
And yet he has to frankly
deal with was dating guys who
frankly like his class or his quality
or you know, they just want something.
- Virgil, shut up.
- Do you ever wonder if
true love really exists?
I mean, Disney style of love,
Hollywood romance type love,
love at first sight,
last-the-rest-of-your-life type love?
- Sure.
People talk about it all the time.
And do you know why people
talk about it all the time?
- Why?
- Because it's rare.
People never notice the commonplace,
they only notice the
extraordinary and rare.
Or when was the last time you heard anyone
talk about how blue the sky is.
- Paulo, does David even
know all of his rules?
- Sure he does.
- Makes them up as he goes.
- Same thing.
So, what are you up to next week?
- Home.
- After you get back from Palm Springs?
Well, we should get together.
- Sure, for what?
- I don't know.
Go see a movie, maybe grab
some dinner, get some coffee?
- You wanna go out on a date.
- Well, I wouldn't
necessarily call it that way
unless you wanted to.
- No, I mean, we could hang out together.
- Go out for drinks.
- Oh, I'm too much a lightweight
for a drinking night.
- We can go for one drink.
Maybe dinner and a movie after?
I could drive.
- Dinner and a movie.
Ha, you wanna sleep with me.
- Well I think it would work out great.
- How is that?
- I can help you with your virginity.
And we're friends, you
know, it's not like,
and the first time is
not the greatest anyway.
Plus, you can trust me, 'cause I
- [Together] I always keep my word.
- Right, yeah.
Paulo, this is not a contract negotiation.
- I don't think it is.
I just think
we could, connect.
And you wouldn't have to
worry about the first guy
being the guy you'd be stuck with.
You know?
I mean, we could have fun and everything
and I assure you I will not
go weird on you and stalk you,
and even wanna go out,
have a beer, anything.
- How romantic.
Do you even listen to the
meaning behind words people say
or do you just decipher
them for discussion points
to further your own,
- Call me next week.
You got my number, or get it from David.
(phone rings)
Hello?
- I was just hit on by Paulo.
- What, again?
- No, I mean, he wants to do me.
- Well, who doesn't?
Paulo isn't so bad
when you look at the whole West Hollywood.
It's the city that's
made him the way he is.
- Now you're playing the philosopher.
- Maybe someday he'll wake up
and want someone special to be with,
someone that he won't care
about the negotiations,
and money and the control, that
he'll just want to be with.
- Well why does he give me the creeps
when he tries to be nice?
I mean, he's a successful
real estate agent
and went to law school and everything.
What happened when you two had your thing?
- Paulo wanted agreements and rules
and had demands and was already planning
the end of the relationship
before it began.
Trust me, there wasn't
much of a relationship
to break off when I ended it.
He hasn't changed, has he?
- Doesn't have to.
Not in this town.
- West Hollywood.
WeHo, city of beautiful
men and the dogs they walk
and the crimes of the heart
they commit in the night.
- WeHo, where hello means I want sex
and goodbye means I hate ya.
- West Hollywood, where
it's legal to be mean
but unlawful to be slovenly.
- WeHo, where the men chase the boys
and the boys chase the money.
- Where the gym bunnies
chase the steroids.
- And no one is safe from
the games of the heart.
(gate rattles)
- [Tad] Hey!
- Sorry!
Well, that was fun.
- (Sighs) Just can't figure you out.
- It's part of my charm.
- Well, you do have that.
- It's good to know I
haven't lost my touch.
- I don't think that'll ever happen.
- See, what did you mean earlier
about my breaking a few hearts?
- Well, you were like the
first guy I fell for in WeHo.
- Oh, I didn't know.
- I was young.
- We all were.
- It was a long time ago.
- Look, I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
When we met, I just wasn't in
a settling down kind of mood.
- And now?
- Um, I don't know.
- You were like, the crazy party guy.
I mean, I crushed on you really hard.
I was an idiot.
- I broke your heart.
- Like I said, it was a long time ago.
- I'm really sorry.
I do regret some of my
youthful indiscretions.
- Some?
- I admit, it makes me sad,
waking up, not knowing the
name of the man in my bed.
- Well, that has probably
happened to a lot of us.
- Hmm.
- It's getting hot, let's go for a swim.
(soft dreamy music)
(playful summery music)
(splashing)
(laughing)
- Whew!
- You goof.
- Whew!
- I've had enough.
- Oh, I was just getting started.
- Oh, save some of that energy for later.
- Oh, promises, promises.
- I know how to keep my promises.
- I'm listening.
- Well, what do you want?
- Something I've always wanted.
- Might be arranged.
♫ Can make all your dreams come true
♫ If you take my love and I make you see
♫ You're the only girl
that I could ever need
♫ If you take a chance then
I'll show you the world
♫ Baby my love
- So, I'm afraid to ask where
Virgil and Paulo went to.
- They went to check their
email for possible dates later.
- So do you know all the rules?
- What?
- Your rules.
David's rules of the pool.
- I guess I know them.
- Maybe you should make a sign.
- I could.
- But what fun would that be?
- I just think we should have
some time together alone, uninterrupted.
Why does the phone need to be
here on a Sunday afternoon?
- To order more pizza and boys.
- Ah.
- So, do you have any other rules?
- Other rules?
- How about, making out at the pool?
- I don't think there's
a rule against that.
- How about kissing?
- I don't recall any
restrictions on kissing
at the pool at this time.
- [Roger] You really think
you can run your life
in a rule-book?
- Do you think I'm in
control, controlling?
- I wouldn't say that aloud.
- Then what?
- Why do you think you're alone?
- I think I wanna be.
- You don't seem to wanna be alone.
- I used to think I could settle,
that I could be happy with
anyone that wanted me.
God knows I'm horny enough
to sleep with just about
anyone, anyone reasonable.
- And?
- Now, I think I'm so fucking particular
that I will never ever meet anyone
that I can be happy with.
- You're afraid you couldn't be faithful?
- You may not believe this,
but I've spent most of my
dating life in serial monogamy.
One man at a time.
I just think I'm too picky.
Everyone has their drawbacks, I know I do.
So, maybe I just won't ever have anyone.
- Well that's a terrible thing to think.
- Maybe it's true though.
- I think maybe,
maybe you need to make an accommodation
for somebody in your life.
- An accommodation?
- Yes, an accommodation.
(dreamy music)
- Pizza.
Pizzacola's pizza.
Pizza.
- You.
- Roger?
(dreamy music)
I finally found you.
- I can't believe it's you.
- Why did you leave?
- I didn't know.
- I thought you knew.
- I knew, but I didn't know that I knew.
- I looked for you.
- You looked for me?
- All over Laguna Beach.
- It was Laguna Beach, yes it was.
You've been the fever
in my blood ever since.
- I looked for you every
day, everywhere I go.
- My God, me too.
- I found you.
- What is your name?
- Roger, I uh,
Just, Jesus Christ, Mary and
Joseph on a fricken crossword
we're ignoring the pizza.
You see this?
- No plates, no knife
and fork, no wineglasses,
- Fuck that, this is bullseye.
- Now that is good delivery service.
(laughing)
That's the guy, eh?
- I do so love this pizza.
(soft dreamy music)
(upbeat rock music)
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Can I put these on in your bedroom?
You know, Roger asked me
to go swimming with him,
I hope that's okay.
- Um, sure.
- You have such a beautiful
house, and the pool,
the pool is amazing.
♫ Sitting in my room last night
♫ Looking back upon my life
♫ And the places that I've been
♫ Pictures, face of
friends that I've loved
♫ I try to remember when
♫ Last time I saw them
♫ In July soon,
♫ Faded memories on the wall
♫ Some days I have forgotten
♫ But each one is a memory
♫ I look back on so often
♫ I look into the past
♫ I want to make it last
♫ I'll bet you didn't say
♫ Now long, together,
♫ Let's sing the fighter song,
♫ Carry on through the memories,
♫ Carry on without worries,
♫ Carry on without worries,
♫ Carry on, oh
Thanks for letting me stay.
- Hey, any friend of
Roger's is welcome here.
I owe him, apparently.
- You know, I can't believe
that I just walk in here
and find him like that.
- I can't either.
- After all this time.
- I know.
- Isn't he just the greatest guy?
- He sure is.
♫ Into the wide under,
♫ I want to be barely
holding onto something
- I must have been an idiot
to just let him walk out the first time.
- Don't be too hard on yourself.
How could you know?
♫ Carry on
(lively music)
♫ I fly, on wings that will take me home
♫ I fly
♫ Believe in this moment,
it's making me stronger,
♫ I fly
♫ From a broader view I see
♫ So-called friends had turned enemies
♫ But that built strength in me
♫ I fly
♫ On wings that will take me home
♫ I fly
♫ Believe in this moment
(soft dreamy music)
- Do I smell pizza?
Is it Pizza time?
(Virgil gasps)
- Better grab a slice
before Virgil gets the last.
- How about that Anna?
- What a woman.
Oh, baby.
And that's all she wrote.
But I gotta tell ya,
- No no no no no.
So, see you at the farmer's market?
- Sure thing, Dave.
- David.
- Sure thing, Dave.
(gate thumps closed)
- Am I mistaken, or is he the
only one that got laid today?
(soft dreamy music)
(soft radio music)
- The anchovies at
table five aren't fresh.
(laughing)
- But you are, baby!
(phone rings)
Pizzacola Pizza.
Oh, no, uh.
It's for you.
- Yeah, I know our policy.
I am Mr. Pizzacola.
Yeah, that's really my name.
Like I'd never heard that before.
Well what was I supposed
to do, open a mortuary?
Look, I've had two
drivers call in sick today
and one's gone missing for over an hour.
We'll get it to you when we get it to you.
- Other way.
- [Mr. Pizzacola] Now
where is that driver?
- Maybe he found a man of his dreams
and they're gonna run away together
and live happily ever after.
- Yeah, like that'd happen.
- I need pepper.
- Oh, yeah, baby, oh.
- Girl, I need some pepper, girl, alright?
- Yeah, I'm all the spice.
- Full of spice, that's for damn sure.
- Whew! Yow!
(soft dreamy music)
- Aw, you're so cute.
(birds chirping)
(water rippling)
- How does that happen?
(soft contemplative music)
(splashes)
- David?
David, are you okay?
- Of course I'm okay.
I'm fine.
At least the sky is still blue.
Hey Virgil,
we should talk.
(upbeat club music)
♫ Tired and confused of
what people say in the news
♫ That being gay is so wrong
♫ Continue to gaze in
honest strike you, you, CSO.
♫ I look at the clock, I
don't want to wait anymore
♫ I think it is time to come out
♫ I wanna be free like the birds yeah yeah
♫ A thousand bells are
telling to my heart tonight
♫ That it's so fucking
fierce to be gay, oh boy,
♫ And not even you're a
thousand motherfuckers baby,
♫ Gonna change me ever
♫ Why don't you let me
be just the way I am
♫ God make me like this, gay, fabulous
♫ And not even you're a
thousand motherfuckers baby,
♫ Gonna change me ever,
♫ I don't even care what people
think of me anymore tonight
♫ I wanna celebrate,
nobody tells me what to do,
♫ With my life, love myself,
I'm so proud to be gay
♫ And I share all my
pride, any day of my life
♫ You always blame me,
you don't understand me
♫ For choices I make in my life,
♫ I know you're ashamed of me,
♫ You don't have to be fake
♫ Or even pretend that you really like me
♫ You answer to me,
(electronic club music)
(soft music)
- Hey, it's David.
I can't have him here this afternoon.
He can't be here today.
I have guests.
I'll call you later this week.
(upbeat instrumental music)
♫ I'm tired and confused of
what people say in the news
♫ That being gay is so wrong
♫ Continue to gaze and only
strike you, you, CSO, oh
♫ I look at the clock, I
don't want to wait any more
♫ I think it is time to come out
♫ I want to be free like
the birds, yeah, yeah.
♫ A thousand bells are
telling to my heart tonight
♫ That it's so fucking
fierce to be gay, oh boy
♫ And not even you're a
thousand motherfuckers baby
♫ Gonna change me ever
♫ Why don't you let me
be just the way I am
♫ God made me like this, gay, fabulous
♫ And not even you're a
thousand motherfuckers baby
♫ Gonna change me ever.
♫ I don't even care what people
think of me anymore tonight
♫ I want to celebrate,
nobody tells me what to do
♫ With my life, love myself,
I'm so proud to be gay.
♫ And I share all my
pride, any day of my life.
(water rippling)
- I'm going to stay in the pool all day.
- I hate the end of summer.
- I'm trying to make it last.
- I'm hungry.
- You're always hungry.
- You should talk.
- I'm always horny, and
I've seemed to notice
the same affliction in you too David.
- Hungry or horny?
- Yes.
- Would you say I'm
more hungry than Virgil,
or more horny than you?
- Hmm, difficult to say.
- See, the secret to life is balance.
- I'm still hungry.
And where have I seen this before?
- Deja Vu.
- They closed that club before I came out.
- Order a pizza.
And that was Odyssey.
- Watch it old man.
You will date yourself.
(splashes)
- I just got out.
(splashing)
(upbeat disco music)
(laughing)
- No, Virgil, no!
- Come here, you!
- No, good luck!
- All these boys, hitting
each other with their noodles
and throwing their balls around.
What more could I ask for?
- Yeah?
(splashing)
Boy could ask for more.
(soft, dreamy music)
- I need product, I
need more hair product.
(phone rings)
- Paulo.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
- Apparently, there's
something about David
and cell phones and pools
and Sunday afternoons.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, bye.
- You know the rules.
(phone splashes)
- Ahh.
Ahh.
I'm going for a new phone.
There's a store on the Boulevard
and they're open Sunday.
They'd better be open Sunday.
(somber music)
(birds chirping)
- Well that didn't do a bit of good.
That was really crummy of you.
- Paulo needed a new phone.
He's had that one for two months.
- God damnit, David, why
do you have to be so you?
Why can't you just be like somebody else?
Like everybody else for once?
- I tried that once, but
it didn't work for me.
(lively music)
- Oh my God, my next door neighbor.
♫ So incredible
- Hi, Tad.
- Hey, David.
Hey Mr. Virgil,
how are you guys doing today?
- Good, Tad, good.
How are you?
- Ah, you know me, nothing
going on, living next door.
You guys having a party?
- No, just some friends visiting.
- Alright.
- Tad, it's kind of
just some close friends.
You know, with problems?
- Oh, right, right right.
- So, I kind of need
to talk to them alone.
They wouldn't understand
if a together guy like you were here,
they'd find it intimidating.
- Oh, I understand.
I'll come back for some pizza.
You know, you and I?
We're exactly the same.
- I don't think we're ordering pizza.
- Always trying to help people.
I thought I heard you
guys talking about pizza.
I love Hawaiian pizza.
- Sure, well, that's for later.
I'll call you.
- Oh, okay, if you wanna.
- I'll see ya.
I really need a lock on this gate.
Pineapple on a pizza, it's an abomination!
- Right, Mr. Little Italy.
- Hey, I'm not ethnocentric.
Just respect the memory
of my sainted grandmother.
The one who disowned me.
- That exorcism might've helped.
What time is it?
- Lunchtime, same time as always for you.
- Don't be jealous because
I never gain a pound.
- I'm not jealous, I'm appreciative.
- So you're going to the White Party?
- No.
- It'll be fun.
- Nope.
- I'm going to the White Party.
- Don't you think you
should let that heal first?
- I didn't know he was a biter.
There'll be handsome boys.
- On crystal.
- Dancing,
- To the same eternal relentless beat.
If they weren't high,
they'd notice the music
hasn't changed since 1991.
- Lots of lips for kissing.
- Lots of diseases for missing.
- Hey, I always play safe.
- You play safer.
And that's not what I
mean and you know it.
Why don't you and I go up
the coast for the weekend?
- I'd miss the White Party.
- Somehow, I think there'll
be another one pretty soon.
We could go out to Death Valley.
- What for?
- Dates?
Imperial Valley dates?
Get out of town.
- But I might miss,
- What?
- Nothing.
- What nothing?
(Virgil sighs)
- I'm going to the White Party.
- What's his name?
- There's no particular one.
Well there's no one there in
particular I'm going to see.
- Oh, you're going shopping
at the White Party.
Why you never ever?
- What?
- Never ever ended up with,
- Who?
- Someone.
But I guess you just never
really wanted that, did you?
- When?
- Never really wanted
that ring on the finger,
ball and chain sort of romance.
All the men that you've
been with, you've never,
never made that commitment.
I guess that's why you're alone.
You like being on your own, on the prowl,
jumping from bed to bed
like some sexual athlete.
- That's not really true.
I have wanted to be with someone.
- Mr. Perfect, Mr. Wonderful, Mr. Adonis,
Mr. Moneybags, Mr. Actor-boy, Mr. Famous.
- David, you know, you've
been searching for it too.
Just that thing.
- Yes.
But if I really want it,
why don't I have it by now?
Time will catch up with us someday.
- This weekend or this minute?
(laughing)
Ho ho ho.
- David, do you got any
cheese in that fridge?
- There's plenty by the pool.
- Where is everyone?
- Who?
- Sammy and Rico and Paul and Joe
and Marty and JD and Victor, Tom and John.
- I decided to keep it
small this afternoon.
- (Gasps) You didn't invite anyone else?
Are you being anti-social?
- Hardly that.
- Four people in your pool
and that's not anti-social?
Usually your pool is boy-soup
by the end of the weekend.
- I just want to have a
relaxing Sunday afternoon
with a few of my best friends.
- All of whom, you've tried
to get in the pants of,
in years past and succeeded.
Happy now?
- That just whetted my appetite.
- We know all about your
appetite, White Party boy.
- Oh, you're going to the White Party?
- When does he not?
He's afraid he might miss something,
or someone.
Or someone.
- Hey, is David okay?
I mean, why didn't he invite
anyone else to this thing?
- Well he's allowed to have
a relaxing Sunday afternoon.
- I think he's having a midlife crisis.
- He can't be having a midlife crisis,
he's not old enough yet.
- How do you know how old he is?
- Well he's what, like 30-something?
- When I met him 12 years
ago, he was 30-something.
- So?
- Do the math, Roger.
- Oh.
- I think he's having that
meeting-a-boyfriend thing going on.
- Seriously?
Mr. WeHo?
Mr. Endless-stream-of-guys?
Mr. Installed-a-revolving-bedroom-door?
- Well, he's behaving strangely.
I'm still hungry.
- I'm still hungry too
and you ate the last of whatever that was.
- I said to order a pizza.
The number for Pizzacola is on the fridge,
if Virgil didn't eat it.
- We would need to use the phone for that.
- There's one in the house.
Rule is, no phones by the pool.
- What do you want?
- Meatlovers!
What?
(laughing)
- Pizzacola special.
Basil and sun-dried tomato.
- And extra cheese, sauce
and make it thick crust.
- Okay, I will order the pizza
since you must be served.
- And make it a large.
(laughing)
So whatever did happen to you-know-who?
- Who?
- That guy you were dating.
- His name must never be spoken.
- Whatever he did,
- We just didn't work out.
We,
he was HIV-positive.
Lied to me about it too.
And no, I'm not, at least
not since April 15th.
Tested every tax day and birthday.
- So,
you broke up with him
because he lied to you,
or because he was positive?
- I didn't break up with him, he left me.
Never gave me the chance
to break up with him.
- Would you have?
Broke up?
- He never gave me the chance to find out.
You know what was the
worst thing about it all?
When I found out he'd been lying to me,
he was never going to stay.
If he'd been interested in staying,
he'd have told me the truth.
- Oh.
So you were in love with him.
- It's pretty humiliating.
I should know better.
Me, of all people, I should know better.
- Know better than what?
- Than to fall in love in West Hollywood.
How many times do you think
that happens in your life,
that you really fall in love?
Once, maybe twice, or never?
Not just in lust, or infatuation,
or abandoned reckless drunken desperation.
- Taking my name in vain again?
- Which one?
Reckless, drunken or desperation?
- Abandoned.
- Virgil was just about
to give me a blowjob
when you showed up.
- Well it's a big job,
but someone's gotta do it.
- We were just negotiating the rates.
- Keep it up, I may even
start to believe you.
- I think I should get hazard pay.
- Or I should get a bulk discount.
- Ha, you wish.
- David has never paid for sex.
- Oh, I've paid for it.
- You've stolen it.
You've broken a few
hearts of your own, David.
Uh, where's the damn pizza?
- Why's he so emotional?
Why's he get so upset?
- Roger's okay, he just needs
to know he can have someone.
I wonder if he knows
someone who'd want him
for more than one night, or one weekend.
(gate thumps)
(upbeat music)
- [Anna] Hello, boys.
- Sounds like your mother.
Your mother!
- Hello, boys.
- Hello, mother.
- Hello, Mrs.,
- Oh, please, call me Mama Anna.
- So good to see you.
- Oh David, you can cut the crap.
A boy like you, such a
waste, so full of bullshit.
- Yes, Mama Anna.
- You wasting your life, knock it off.
- Uh, Mother just stopped by to say hello.
- It's been so long.
- You're always welcome here.
- [Virgil] Mother, look at the citrus.
- Ya, sure, what beer do you have on tap?
(soft dreamy music)
- Beer from a can.
- Mother.
- I just don't want you to
forget your Nordic roots.
- I grew up in the Central Valley.
- Well, that's not your fault.
- Why are you so mean to David?
Can't you say something nice?
- Oh, I like David just fine.
I mean he sleeps around, he
mostly ignores his friends,
he doesn't do any charity work,
but he seems very nice.
- Who are you talking about?
Well David helps a lot of
people, more than you know.
- Well, that's good to hear.
- He's our host, you could
be a little more gracious,
and he's my friend.
- Alright, after all,
he's almost like family.
You have known him for so long.
(upbeat music)
(dreamy music)
- I dare you.
(playful, mischievous music)
(David gasps)
(laughing)
- You have guests.
It's not polite to ignore your guests.
- I thank you, I'll show you
that I won't neglect my guests.
- No, don't take me, no.
I'm just reminding you
of your hosting duties.
- Thank you, I'll show you
that I won't neglect my guests.
(splashing)
(laughing)
(dreamy music)
- Dude, I swear, children.
Five year olds.
- Oh.
- What was that?
- What was what?
- That whole underwater thing just now.
- I was just playing.
- Playing?
That was playing?
- Playing, in the pool, what else?
- Playing in the pool.
- Right.
- You weren't just flirting with me?
- No more than usual,
unless you were flirting with me?
- No more than usual.
- Nope.
- You suck at lying.
- What do you want?
It was nothing.
- Right then.
- Okay.
- Fine.
- Good.
- Perfect.
(rock music)
- Pathetic.
Pathetic.
You are, like Roger says, babies.
Someday you will grow up.
I hope before it's too late
and don't you try to say anything,
you just will make it worse.
Really, David, when are
you going to learn to see
what is right before your eyes?
Uh uh uh, you are the charmer,
so handsome and good-looking.
Maybe you can pull the wool
over the eyes of your friends
but I see right through you.
You think I didn't have men
wrapped around my little finger?
You think I don't know what you're up to?
Stop kidding yourself, David,
you don't want to make those mistakes.
Trust me, I know.
Beauty, but no brains.
- Hey there.
- Who's that?
- Did I see Virgil's sister come in here?
- Oh no, no, Virgil is my son
but he's big for his age,
his father was a pole
vaulter at university.
- Mother.
- Tad, this is Mama Anna.
Mama Anna, this is Tad,
next door neighbor.
- Charmed, I'm sure.
You're lovely.
- Please, call me Anna.
- Certainly, you can't be Virgil's mother.
You can't be a day over 29.
- Delighted and right next
door, such a small world.
- Do you enjoy gardening?
- Oh yes.
- I'd be honored to show you
my display of begonias.
- It would be an honor,
and you must come to visit so
I can show you my tomatoes.
- I'd love to see them.
♫ You are
♫ So incredible
♫ Unforgettable
(laughing)
- I'm going to ignore
this, this did not happen.
- Really?
- She's my mother.
I'm very good at denial.
- This explains a lot to me.
(soft dreamy music)
- Well, I must say, Virgil
gets his looks from you.
- Really, I always thought
he took after his dad.
Oh, but he passed away a long time ago.
- Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
- Yeah, well, that's life.
(soft music)
Are those cucumbers?
- Yes, that's right.
- Are they for pickling?
- Exactly.
I must say, you have a beautiful
appreciation of nature.
- Well, I don't miss much.
Is there a Mrs. Tad?
- Oh, no.
I'm an old military man.
Ex-Navy seaman.
- That was my weakness, a man in uniform.
- Well maybe someday I can
squeeze into my dress whites.
- Well, I'm sure you would
look so handsome in them.
- Any many would look
handsome with you on his arm.
- Any woman would be so lucky
to have a man in uniform for a escort.
- Anna, you really are lovely.
I don't think I've ever
met a woman like you.
- No, I'm sure that's true.
Now, where are those begonias?
- Begonias, begonias,
they're right over here.
- So, how long do you know David?
- I met him when I first moved in.
He was so excited to meet me.
Been best friends ever since.
- Really.
Do you go to David's pool parties?
- Oh well no, I'm not an athlete,
in the pool.
I wouldn't want to show
him up, ex-Navy and all.
- And what do you think
of Virgil and David?
- What?
Well they seem like lifelong friends.
Did they grow up together?
- No, not yet.
I mean, no, they met when
Virgil moved to West Hollywood.
- I like it here.
Everyone is so friendly and gay
and they wear such bright clothes
and they're all so happy
and they smile all the time.
- Yes, it must be the weather.
- And I was wondering,
I would really like it
if maybe you could see your way to maybe,
- I would be happy to go to tea with you
next Sunday afternoon at
Imperial Garden Tea House,
11 A.M. and make
reservations by the entrance.
- Table at the entrance, right.
Anna,
- Oh, Tad, I've been around
the block once or twice.
- Well I go for walks around
the neighborhood every evening.
I visit all the neighbors,
they love to see me.
- I mean, I've seen a bit
of the world, you know?
- Oh, I travel too.
I've been to Singapore,
Hawaii, San Francisco,
San Diego, Panama,
- And yet you see so little.
I mean, there's so much
in life to still see.
- The world is such a big place.
I would love some company.
- That would be nice.
We all need someone.
(soft dreamy music)
- So, when was the last time
you were really in love?
- Uh, I don't know his name.
- What?
- Shut up and let him tell the story.
You know I live for this stuff.
- It was at the White Party,
or maybe the Black Party?
(laughing)
I'm pretty sure it was at Palm Springs.
- You don't know his name?
- I was distracted.
If he ever said his
name, I never heard it.
- Well, what does he do?
- I don't know.
I look at him, there he was.
- What was he wearing?
- I don't remember.
- Oh my God.
- What did he look like?
- His hair was blond-ish or brown-ish.
He was wearing a baseball cap when we met.
- And?
- And he had blue eyes,
green or brown-ish.
He was either a little bit taller than me
or a little bit shorter.
- Obviously, he was the love of your life.
- I didn't know it at first.
I didn't know when I met him.
I realized it when I couldn't
stop thinking about him.
- He must have an enormous,
(mimics a bell ringing)
- No, no, not really.
Not always about that.
- Wow, you must have
really fallen for him.
- Can't remember.
He did smell good though, I remember that.
It's funny how you spend a
little bit of time with someone
and you keep thinking about
them for a long time after.
- Aww.
- So when is the pizza coming?
- I don't know.
- How much did they charge you?
- You did order a
Pizzacola special, right?
- They say if they were busy?
- I didn't ask and they didn't specify.
- You should always get a details
when you contact for something.
- It's a fucking pizza.
- You know, that's a frightening image.
- So they give you an
estimated delivery time or not?
- Not.
- Usually it comes within an hour.
- And you ordered it about
what, 10 minutes ago?
- It will be here when it's here.
- That's not good planning.
- Look, I ordered a meat
lovers and a Pizzacola special.
It'll come, some pizza
boy will come up the drive
and deliver the pizza.
- Mmm, God, I hope he's cute.
- Just delivering the pizza,
what difference does it make?
- It always makes a difference.
- Mm, you gotta repeat the order now.
- So, so it didn't say for
sure when it would be here
or how long it takes to bake?
- Might be a pizza girl.
- Mm, not nearly as interesting.
- And you did tell them
to deliver in the back?
- Ohhh.
- Around the back of the house.
- Yes, I told them we were at the pool.
- Did you order thick or thin crust?
- Yeah, thick stays in the oven longer.
I mean it takes longer to, fuck, jeeze.
- I didn't specify.
- Well, I wish you'd ordered extra sauce,
extra cheese, and extra toppings.
- It's a pizza.
It's supposed to be flat and crisp.
Not soggy and lumpy.
- So what time is it now?
- [Roger] I like Hawaiian pizza.
- I'm done discussing the pizza.
- I like talking about pizza.
- Sorry, I'm just really really hungry.
- I just hope it tastes decent
or we'll have to send it back.
- I never,
send food back.
- Next time, we're ordering Italian.
- [Together] Too late!
- You're already here.
Everybody likes two types of men.
- How is that?
- The kind they like,
and Italian.
(laughing)
(soft dreamy music)
- How much was the phone?
- Don't worry about it.
- Look, I'll pay for it.
- It's no big deal, I broke the rules.
- Well, I'll send you a check.
- Look, not everything
has to be about money.
- Wow.
- What?
- That's something coming
from a businessman.
- Well there's more to it than that.
- It would be nice to see it.
- You've seen it.
- I seem to remember, we
broke up over negotiations.
- What?
- We just met.
You were already planning
the end of the relationship
before we even fell in love,
if we ever had a chance to.
- What?
- Where shall we live?
What car should we keep?
If we break up, you want
the dog and I keep the cat.
How much should be joint income,
how much individual accounts?
- Well, these things are important.
- Not on the third date.
- Well you have to discuss them sometime.
So why should we wait and
find out it's a waste of time?
- I didn't know the time
we spent was wasted.
(phone rings)
- Hello?
(soft contemplative music)
(upbeat music)
- Hey sis, I called.
- David.
- Tiana.
Hey Dexter.
- Hey Uncle Dave.
- Dave?
- You're not answering your phone.
- No phones at the pool.
- It is David's first rule.
- Oh shut up.
- What's so important
on a Sunday afternoon?
- You have to watch Dexter.
- You want me to babysit?
You must be desperate.
Me, the gay uncle, babysitting.
- He's not a baby.
- I kind of have company.
Good, they can watch you, watching him,
so you don't screw up.
- Who's the desperate parent here?
- Listen, Dexter's father's in town,
and the jerk has a child support payment
I need to go pick up
and I want Dexter nowhere near his father.
So you, are going to watch Dexter
as a favor to your sweet little sister.
Do I need to explain myself twice?
(Tiana's pretzel stick snaps)
- Hey Dex, you wanna hang with your uncle
while your mom runs an errand?
♫ Straighter than myself
♫ My love is to imitate ya
♫ No I cannot 'cause you're the fool
♫ Just took some time to see
♫ No more chances, no more games.
♫ Time to move on.
(gate slams shut)
♫ Time to finally free
them waiting for so long.
(car starts with a rumble)
(car screeches away)
♫ No more chances, no more games.
- There's soda in the cooler.
- Cool.
- So, how's school?
- Okay.
- Things okay with your friends?
- Yeah.
- Seen any good movies lately?
- Not really.
- There's swim trunks in the guest bath
if you want to go swimming.
- I think I'll get a soda.
- Cool.
- No beer.
♫ Yeah
♫ Oh yeah
♫ Oh
- She gone yet?
- For now.
(soft music)
- That's your nephew?
- Kids are so weird,
I was never like that.
- No, you were never quite like Dex.
- Children, they're so hetero.
Baby strollers and puberty
and elementary school.
Does remind me of somebody though.
- David?
He reminds you of David.
- How am I like Dexter?
- Tall, handsome.
- Sexy and with a very strong personality.
- Someone who doesn't put up
with anything they don't like.
- Somebody who gets what they want.
- I don't think that's
either Dexter or me.
- And the tiniest bit sullen
in a very sexually seductive way.
- Mm, that's true.
Poor Dexter.
- Doomed to be just like his gay uncle.
- Only, is he?
- Please, at his age?
Well okay, I knew.
We all knew, we all know.
Although, I did meet a guy once,
who claimed he didn't know he was gay
until one day in college,
- I love these coming out stories.
- Coming out of the college library,
looked at a guy and
thought, what a great ass.
And then realized, oh my god, I'm gay.
- That does not sound very likely to me.
- He swore he had girlfriends
and everything before that.
- Wow.
What would that be like?
- Well, it's not bad.
It's just not bad and you know?
It's like sports.
Sometimes exercise, it is fun.
(laughing)
- So, did you have sex with him?
- As I recall, he was a pretty good kisser
and a very passionate lover.
It's always nice to connect with someone.
- Yeah, I hate the selfish bottom.
- Yes, a selfish bottom.
Someone who only cares
about their own pleasure,
who you can go at with a baseball bat
and it wouldn't quite be big enough.
That wasn't him.
Well, we did everything
and every combination we could think of.
He was extraordinarily versatile.
He had a great imagination.
- So why isn't he here?
- I kept thinking, what if
he looks at a busty girl
and thinks what a great rack,
and then oh my god, I'm straight.
(laughing)
And then, he moved to Modesto.
- Oh, tragic.
- That's like falling off
the face of the earth,
or even West Hollywood.
- Where is Dexter anyway?
- I grew up in Barstow,
and your father was a Marine.
- Yeah, coming out was so much fun.
Late night argument,
introduction to the boyfriend,
the early morning denial and repudiation.
Ahh, good times.
- And Mr. Modesto, he
didn't smell quite right.
- Quite right?
- Sometimes,
well let's just say, he
didn't smell as good as you.
Not as amazingly fresh
and achingly, sensuously good-smelling,
the fragrance of your
beautiful, graceful body.
- How do I smell?
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
- The fuck?
- He was on your computer.
- So, big deal?
- He was looking at naked
ladies on the internet.
- Ew.
- Well, that answers that question.
(soft dreamy music)
- Not cool, Dex, you
could get me in trouble.
- It's no big deal, everyone does it.
- I have never looked at
naked ladies on the internet.
- Yeah, we know.
- Dex, you really shouldn't
look at that stuff.
- Like uncle, like straight nephew.
- There's nothing wrong with it.
- Dex, at your age, sex is
supposed to be a mystery.
- Really?
Life is so strange.
- Yes, you're supposed
to be obsessing about it,
not looking at it on the internet.
- What's the harm?
- What's the harm?
What's the harm?
The harm is that you're
supposed to be forming
emotional attachments now and dating,
not hooking up and substituting
sex for relationships.
- Everyone hooks up.
- Yeah?
- Well you are not everyone.
Some day it's going to make them sad.
Some day they're going to
be middle-aged and alone
and have a trail of broken
relationships behind them
and staring at getting
old alone until one day,
no one wants them anymore.
Unless it's for their money
and they hope they drop dead real fast.
Is that what you want to happen to you?
Is that how you want to end up?
- No.
It's just so hard to
ask girls out on a date.
They get mad if you pay attention
and then, it's even worse
if you leave 'em alone.
- Dex, the thing where they
get mad at you for no reason?
- Yeah.
- That's sexual aggression.
They want you to come onto them.
- No way.
- Way.
- But they're all mad at me.
- Dexter, it's because you're handsome.
They think you won't go out with them
because they're insecure.
- What?
- Dexter, you're smoking hot.
You're gonna get more so.
I mean, have you checked
out your uncle lately?
Hello.
- Yeah, it's true.
I mean, look at him.
And, it's in your family,
you're stuck with it.
- Guys.
Look, when they get mad at you,
just say something nice to them.
Then, keep saying nice
things to them until you get,
I mean until you, until they like you.
But don't lie.
- Oh God, do not tell lies.
- Well, what do you mean?
- Never, never tell a woman a lie.
They, they know.
- And if they're so
desperate to believe you,
then you are screwed
because you are stuck with that lie.
- You said I was pretty.
- Oh you said it was
more than just friends.
- I'll kill myself if you leave me.
- You said you loved me.
- Ahh.
- See, if you're honest with people,
you can only hurt them a little.
But if you tell lies,
then they're just set up
for the big hurt later.
- What's the big hurt?
- The breakup.
- The end.
- When it doesn't work out.
- Why doesn't it work out?
I mean, if you want it to.
- Dex, at your age, if she's pretty
and you both like the same
band, you think you're in love.
You are in love, but it's not love.
- You keep changing and
growing up and pretty soon,
that pretty girl in high school is
the anchor around your neck
when you wanna go to Harvard.
- Or Cal State Northridge.
- Or Oxford.
- Anglophile.
- Then, there's the big straight problem.
- What?
What big straight problem?
- What if you get her pregnant?
- What?
- What if you,
- I wouldn't!
- You're my nephew, trust me, you would.
You will, so you'd better be ready.
- How can I be ready?
- Condoms.
You don't have to do that one
thing that gets her pregnant.
There are many many
many many possibilities.
- Uh uh uh, no no no no.
- And then, there is
the stalker pregnancy.
- Stalker?
- Right.
Better tell your girlfriends
up front, you don't want kids.
And if she got pregnant,
you wouldn't marry her.
And you would have to insist
on adoption for the baby.
- What, I could never,
I mean, I've never even thought about it.
- Dex, you have to.
Greatly reduces the chances
you might have an accident,
just to land a husband.
- And you think that that,
- Definitely could happen to you.
- Dexter, Dex, Dexy-boy,
these things are sad but true.
You wanna be old and fat
and work in a crap job
and no college education,
no career and no travel?
- Of course not.
- You need to be metro-sexual.
- And you would definitely
get laid more often.
- That's true, and he'd make more money.
- What?
- You say that a lot.
Go to the gym, work out,
groom yourself properly,
wear decent clothing,
keep your car clean, and keep
your house clean and orderly.
- That's a lot to ask for.
- You'll have a lot more sex.
- I'll do it.
- And nothing comes to the house
unless it belongs in a home,
and it has a place in the home.
- Everything else goes in the
garage and if it doesn't fit,
sell it or trash it.
- And grooming, get haircuts regularly,
use skin cleanser and moisturizer
and start using some hair gel.
- You want that bed-head look.
- That what?
- You want that bed-head look.
You know, it just looks
like you stumbled out of bed
after a wild night of non-stop sex.
- No-one's gonna believe that.
- Dex, in life, it doesn't
matter what people believe.
What matters is how they perceive you.
People are so fucked up,
they hardly have time to
pay attention to themselves.
So if you look like it, it must be true.
- And money.
- Mm, ah, money.
- Money.
- Money?
- Yes.
If you look like you have more money,
they will pay you more.
- Take 10% of your earnings
and put them away, no matter what.
- Away until when?
- Forever.
- The one who dies with
the most money, wins.
- What good is that?
- Money is freedom.
- Freedom from rent.
- Freedom from mortgages.
- Freedom from credit cards.
- Freedom to travel to Hawaii.
- Freedom to change careers.
- Freedom to take half the year off.
- Freedom to go to the White Party.
(laughing)
- No, no, no, no, no.
- [Virgil] Sorry, I uh, I
got a little carried away.
- Guys, I know what the White Party is.
- You're just jealous because
gay men have more sex than straight men.
- Is that true?
- No, and we will all deny
it if they say it more times.
- Sometimes, it's true.
- My name's Roger and I'm a gay sex-holic,
and I haven't had sex in zero
days, 11 hours and 23 minutes.
- Funny.
You saw John last night?
- Jordan.
- Yes, he's an editor.
Hot.
- Uh, guys, mixed company here.
- Oh, now you know how we feel
every time the guy takes
the girl in his arms
and gives her the big kiss.
Come along with me, I
need to trim those bangs
and introduce you to styling gel.
- Be gentle.
- We're here, we're queer.
- We're gonna need more beer.
(soft dreamy music)
(splashing)
(lively music)
♫ You tell me everything's alright,
♫ Offer me your sympathy
♫ As you don't really care
♫ What you telling me
- Hey.
- Why is my life so fucked?
- Don't feel so special.
- It's worse when he's nice,
and he's very nice today.
- That bastard.
- Thank God, Dexter looks
like our side of the family.
He turned out like his shit-head father,
I swear, I'd drown him in the bath.
- He's a little old for drowning in a bath
and Dexter is nothing like him.
- No he isn't, is he?
He's a good kid.
But if he turned out like
his dad, I swear I would.
- Tiana, he won't.
He won't.
- Dexter, you have homework to do tonight.
- Uncle Virgil is gonna show
me how to do a backflip.
- With my insurance premium?
I don't think so.
Let's go, mister, we're burning daylight.
- Alright, I gotta go.
I'll see you guys.
- See ya, Dex.
- Thanks.
How you doing, David?
There you are.
Tell me about it next time.
(smooching)
- I will.
- I have to get my books.
- Hey Uncle Dave,
how come you and Uncle
Virgl never, you know?
- Virgil and I are so different.
If we were more alike we
might've had something but,
I can't imagine falling
for someone like me.
- But he's, you know, Virgil.
- Tall and blond and beautiful and nice
and kind and fun to be around
and smart and low-key and talented.
- Well yeah.
- I've noticed.
- You're no smarter than a straight guy.
- Out of the mouths of babes.
- I am not a baby.
- No, you're hardly that.
But don't grow up too fast.
You know?
Just enjoy the time
that you have each day.
Dex, future gets here
no matter what you do.
So don't try to rush it.
- God, why do adults
always talk like this?
- Trust me, someday you'll look back
at this time in your life
and wish you'd appreciated it more.
(car honks)
- Yeah, I better get
going, homework and all.
(rippling water)
- Mother.
How was the garden?
- Where's Tad?
- Oh, he's tired.
He was going to lay down.
I need a drink of water.
(soft wistful music)
- [Man] You're such a child.
You're the child.
- Ever wish you had kids?
- Not for a long time.
- Be a great dad.
- Oh really, I must be going.
- So soon?
- I um, hm.
I have appointments with people.
- Drive safe, mother.
- I will.
- David.
Oh forget it!
(laughing)
(soft classical piano)
- Hi, how was your visit with
your son and his friends?
- Oh, Zelda, I,
it was nice.
I, those boys will never
grow up and become men.
- Oh, these roses are in bloom.
- But Virgil doesn't like roses.
He likes fruits and vegetables.
- You have to pick them fresh,
so they ripen on the vine.
- I just want him to be happy.
- You can show him when the fruit is ripe.
- I don't know anything about gardening.
- You're his mother.
You have to teach him.
A boy relies upon his mother.
- Yes, that's true.
- You can learn together.
You can try this and try
that to see what works.
- But I tried everything
and so has Virgil.
- Don't give up, Anna.
- What can I do?
- You know, with gardens,
you can't be afraid to
get your hands dirty.
- Oh, I'm not.
- And there's always next spring.
- I'm not going to wait another year.
I'm going to pick some
vegetables or I'll know why not.
- Remember to wear a hat,
to keep the sun off, dear.
Bye.
(soft dreamy music)
- What are you thinking about?
- Me being a father.
What an idea.
Doesn't seem too likely though.
Seems to me,
I don't know, I guess my dad
was around, when I was little.
Besides, I'd need someone like,
oh, you know, a boyfriend,
to raise a child with.
Someone who is responsible,
who wasn't on drugs,
had a decent job, and
who didn't have to wear
the crazy pants at the
disco dance in LoonyTown.
- What?
- It would have to be someone
I was proud to represent
as my partner and a co-parent of my child.
I wouldn't want someone walking in,
wearing chaps with his
wrinkled ass hanging out
and having the child scarred for life.
Where the hell am I going
to find someone like that?
Someone that I could, you know, marry.
- Wow, you want to marry?
Wouldn't that be like two
Greek statues tying the knot?
I mean, hot, but cold and remote.
- Ask me when I meet that guy.
Ask me who I would want
to make a family with.
- I'll make a note.
Do you have a fever?
Our generation's not that
white picket fence generation, David.
Our generation's that no
prom dates, sex parties,
hook up on the internet,
puking in the alley generation.
- Yes, I remember.
Just like it was last week.
- Mmhm.
- So, who are you seeing now?
- So who am I not seeing now.
The list is shorter.
- Hey, how come we never.
- Never say never.
- Hooked up?
- We had some fun.
Just 'cause we never hooked up.
- Well I kinda always wondered.
Is it that I'm not your type?
Or is it, you know, positional issue?
- No, no, no, God, no, certainly not that.
- Well you never hooked up
with Paulo or Roger either.
Well, you did that one thing for Paulo.
- Happily.
- Why not me then?
What was the problem?
Is it, you know, a size issue?
- No, no, no, God, no.
It's just that I value
your friendship too much
to screw it up with sex.
- That's a lame excuse.
But I guess I get it.
- It's true.
- Major lame excuse.
But I understand.
- Major Lame Excuse,
reporting as ordered, sir.
- Don't distract me with
my man in uniform fetish.
Wait a minute, you never had sex with me.
- Or me, I thought that I was the only one
that Virgil hadn't.
- Well, he gave me a present.
- See, there you go.
- Well, that does not count as sex.
- Why?
- Well you know what I mean,
I mean, it's not intercourse.
- You did not have sexual
relations with that man?
In fact, you have never
had sex, that I know about.
- Oh please, Mr. Sacred Party Queen not?
- That is the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.
Like, Virgil is never,
- Never had anal intercourse?
- [Together] Not that there's
anything wrong with that.
- You guys are crazy, crazy.
- So who, who have you?
- Is it that you don't want to?
- No, no, it's not that it's that.
- Oh my God, you're saving yourself?
- Whozawhatsis?
- Oh, you wouldn't
understand, Mr. White Boy.
You slept with the whole
marching band in high school.
- Well it was a dare.
I couldn't back down.
Even if three of them
playing to be straight.
And it was one at a time.
- Yes.
- Yes?
- Okay.
So I want to save that until
I finally find that guy.
I mean, that's special.
That means something.
That's something you only
do with that special someone
you're gonna spend the
rest of your life with.
- Couple, oh my God.
- Virgil is a virgin. (laughing)
- How is that even possible,
with all the parties you go to?
- Oh it's possible.
They're usually drunk or stoned or worse.
- So you never.
- Nope.
- But you want to.
- Uh huh.
- I can't stand it.
Are you a top or a bottom?
- I'm not sure yet.
- This is insane!
You're, well, you're over 29.
You should do it, seriously.
- Seriously, I'm waiting.
- You know, the first time
isn't really all that great,
compared to later.
- You know, maybe you're not the one
to give me dating advice
and if you're right,
we'll work the sex out,
after I've met him.
- You're not expecting to marry a virgin.
- I'm not expecting to marry anyone.
It would be nice to
live happily ever after.
- And I thought I was a romantic idealist.
- Look, I honestly don't know
what to expect when I finally meet him.
I don't know if I've met him already
or if it'll be love at first sight
or how that feeling actually happens.
Once or twice I thought, maybe, but no.
I spent hours, wondering
what he'll look like,
what color his eyes will be,
if he'll be wild or tame,
if he'll be a geek or a bodybuilder
or a surfer or a librarian.
I wonder what he'll look
like, how he'll feel.
How he'll look when he looks at me.
I gotta believe that
somewhere on this planet
there's a guy for me.
There's gotta be one guy for me.
- That's why you go to all the parties.
- Search parties.
Searching parties, looking for Mr. Right.
- Well, good luck.
- Thanks.
- I was being sarcastic.
Well, what do you know
about finding Mr. Right?
You're busier than a bumblebee.
- What?
- Going from flower to flower,
only you're the one getting pollinated.
- Usually.
- [Together] TMI.
- You ever notice, gay men
are preoccupied with sex.
- Oh you can drop the
word gay in that sentence.
Gay just adds more opportunity, usually.
- Oh God, there must be
a lot of frustrated circuit
party boys out there.
- [Paulo] I always thought
that you and Virgil.
- What?
- A thing.
- We do.
- Why wouldn't he fall for you?
I mean, you're you.
- Handsome, moneyed,
smart, fun, kind, nice.
- Well, yeah, and you
do have a great body.
- Why on earth would anyone
fall in love with me?
I'm far too perfect.
- No you're not.
- Obviously.
I used to think it was them,
but now I realize it must be
me, after all these years.
- What does love have
to do with any of it?
I mean,
- Thank God this isn't a musical.
- In Brazil, love and sex,
we don't even think of them together.
You know, gay man go off, have their fun,
momma stays home with the kids.
The papa has his friends that
comes home sooner or later.
Then momma has her friends too.
You just don't bring it home,
it doesn't exist in the home.
Never bring it home.
- Isn't that a bit hypocritical?
- What, you think the
women, they don't know?
They know, they know.
They know and everyone knows they know.
- So I'm supposed to
get married, have kids,
and run off and have affairs?
Or is your point that I'm supposed to,
fall in love with someone, make a home,
and run off for wild sexcapades,
then I'm supposed to settle for someone
I'm not sexually attracted to.
- Or you get to reach an accommodation.
Everyone does, eventually.
- Not me.
- I want it all.
- David, you have it all.
At least enough.
(snickering)
- Don't you think about anything else?
- Yeah, but, why?
(soft dreamy music)
(gate thumps open)
- Now what?
(birds chirping)
- I brought you boys some
fresh peaches from my tree.
- Thanks Mr. Hutter.
These are my friends,
Virgil and Paulo and Roger.
- Yeah, well, summer's almost over.
You guys need to enjoy your
swimming while you can.
(laughing)
- So nice to meet you, Mr. Hutter.
- I'm not deaf yet,
but I am as old as dirt, alright?
- Wow, these are some
really great peaches.
- Ah, Mr. Hutter, dear?
- Huh, what?
- Gate is over here.
- Oh yeah, the gate, right.
Well I'm not that old.
♫ What's the point in going on.
- I want a peach.
- You'll spoil your dinner.
- Impossible.
- Where is that pizza anyway?
Think they got lost?
- Well maybe they did
deliver to the wrong address.
- Haha, no.
- How old do you think he is?
- Maybe, 80?
- Jesus Christ, I'm halfway there.
- That'll never be you, David.
- What the hell do you know?
It's going to be all of us.
We are all going to run out of time
and turn into Mr. Hutter.
- That's impossible.
- I still don't understand David.
- After all these years, you don't?
- And you do?
- I know he's lonely.
- David is never alone.
- I never said that.
I said he's lonely.
I mean, he's smart,
makes more than twice the money
of all of us put together,
beautiful, kind, nice, and available.
And yet he has to frankly
deal with was dating guys who
frankly like his class or his quality
or you know, they just want something.
- Virgil, shut up.
- Do you ever wonder if
true love really exists?
I mean, Disney style of love,
Hollywood romance type love,
love at first sight,
last-the-rest-of-your-life type love?
- Sure.
People talk about it all the time.
And do you know why people
talk about it all the time?
- Why?
- Because it's rare.
People never notice the commonplace,
they only notice the
extraordinary and rare.
Or when was the last time you heard anyone
talk about how blue the sky is.
- Paulo, does David even
know all of his rules?
- Sure he does.
- Makes them up as he goes.
- Same thing.
So, what are you up to next week?
- Home.
- After you get back from Palm Springs?
Well, we should get together.
- Sure, for what?
- I don't know.
Go see a movie, maybe grab
some dinner, get some coffee?
- You wanna go out on a date.
- Well, I wouldn't
necessarily call it that way
unless you wanted to.
- No, I mean, we could hang out together.
- Go out for drinks.
- Oh, I'm too much a lightweight
for a drinking night.
- We can go for one drink.
Maybe dinner and a movie after?
I could drive.
- Dinner and a movie.
Ha, you wanna sleep with me.
- Well I think it would work out great.
- How is that?
- I can help you with your virginity.
And we're friends, you
know, it's not like,
and the first time is
not the greatest anyway.
Plus, you can trust me, 'cause I
- [Together] I always keep my word.
- Right, yeah.
Paulo, this is not a contract negotiation.
- I don't think it is.
I just think
we could, connect.
And you wouldn't have to
worry about the first guy
being the guy you'd be stuck with.
You know?
I mean, we could have fun and everything
and I assure you I will not
go weird on you and stalk you,
and even wanna go out,
have a beer, anything.
- How romantic.
Do you even listen to the
meaning behind words people say
or do you just decipher
them for discussion points
to further your own,
- Call me next week.
You got my number, or get it from David.
(phone rings)
Hello?
- I was just hit on by Paulo.
- What, again?
- No, I mean, he wants to do me.
- Well, who doesn't?
Paulo isn't so bad
when you look at the whole West Hollywood.
It's the city that's
made him the way he is.
- Now you're playing the philosopher.
- Maybe someday he'll wake up
and want someone special to be with,
someone that he won't care
about the negotiations,
and money and the control, that
he'll just want to be with.
- Well why does he give me the creeps
when he tries to be nice?
I mean, he's a successful
real estate agent
and went to law school and everything.
What happened when you two had your thing?
- Paulo wanted agreements and rules
and had demands and was already planning
the end of the relationship
before it began.
Trust me, there wasn't
much of a relationship
to break off when I ended it.
He hasn't changed, has he?
- Doesn't have to.
Not in this town.
- West Hollywood.
WeHo, city of beautiful
men and the dogs they walk
and the crimes of the heart
they commit in the night.
- WeHo, where hello means I want sex
and goodbye means I hate ya.
- West Hollywood, where
it's legal to be mean
but unlawful to be slovenly.
- WeHo, where the men chase the boys
and the boys chase the money.
- Where the gym bunnies
chase the steroids.
- And no one is safe from
the games of the heart.
(gate rattles)
- [Tad] Hey!
- Sorry!
Well, that was fun.
- (Sighs) Just can't figure you out.
- It's part of my charm.
- Well, you do have that.
- It's good to know I
haven't lost my touch.
- I don't think that'll ever happen.
- See, what did you mean earlier
about my breaking a few hearts?
- Well, you were like the
first guy I fell for in WeHo.
- Oh, I didn't know.
- I was young.
- We all were.
- It was a long time ago.
- Look, I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
When we met, I just wasn't in
a settling down kind of mood.
- And now?
- Um, I don't know.
- You were like, the crazy party guy.
I mean, I crushed on you really hard.
I was an idiot.
- I broke your heart.
- Like I said, it was a long time ago.
- I'm really sorry.
I do regret some of my
youthful indiscretions.
- Some?
- I admit, it makes me sad,
waking up, not knowing the
name of the man in my bed.
- Well, that has probably
happened to a lot of us.
- Hmm.
- It's getting hot, let's go for a swim.
(soft dreamy music)
(playful summery music)
(splashing)
(laughing)
- Whew!
- You goof.
- Whew!
- I've had enough.
- Oh, I was just getting started.
- Oh, save some of that energy for later.
- Oh, promises, promises.
- I know how to keep my promises.
- I'm listening.
- Well, what do you want?
- Something I've always wanted.
- Might be arranged.
♫ Can make all your dreams come true
♫ If you take my love and I make you see
♫ You're the only girl
that I could ever need
♫ If you take a chance then
I'll show you the world
♫ Baby my love
- So, I'm afraid to ask where
Virgil and Paulo went to.
- They went to check their
email for possible dates later.
- So do you know all the rules?
- What?
- Your rules.
David's rules of the pool.
- I guess I know them.
- Maybe you should make a sign.
- I could.
- But what fun would that be?
- I just think we should have
some time together alone, uninterrupted.
Why does the phone need to be
here on a Sunday afternoon?
- To order more pizza and boys.
- Ah.
- So, do you have any other rules?
- Other rules?
- How about, making out at the pool?
- I don't think there's
a rule against that.
- How about kissing?
- I don't recall any
restrictions on kissing
at the pool at this time.
- [Roger] You really think
you can run your life
in a rule-book?
- Do you think I'm in
control, controlling?
- I wouldn't say that aloud.
- Then what?
- Why do you think you're alone?
- I think I wanna be.
- You don't seem to wanna be alone.
- I used to think I could settle,
that I could be happy with
anyone that wanted me.
God knows I'm horny enough
to sleep with just about
anyone, anyone reasonable.
- And?
- Now, I think I'm so fucking particular
that I will never ever meet anyone
that I can be happy with.
- You're afraid you couldn't be faithful?
- You may not believe this,
but I've spent most of my
dating life in serial monogamy.
One man at a time.
I just think I'm too picky.
Everyone has their drawbacks, I know I do.
So, maybe I just won't ever have anyone.
- Well that's a terrible thing to think.
- Maybe it's true though.
- I think maybe,
maybe you need to make an accommodation
for somebody in your life.
- An accommodation?
- Yes, an accommodation.
(dreamy music)
- Pizza.
Pizzacola's pizza.
Pizza.
- You.
- Roger?
(dreamy music)
I finally found you.
- I can't believe it's you.
- Why did you leave?
- I didn't know.
- I thought you knew.
- I knew, but I didn't know that I knew.
- I looked for you.
- You looked for me?
- All over Laguna Beach.
- It was Laguna Beach, yes it was.
You've been the fever
in my blood ever since.
- I looked for you every
day, everywhere I go.
- My God, me too.
- I found you.
- What is your name?
- Roger, I uh,
Just, Jesus Christ, Mary and
Joseph on a fricken crossword
we're ignoring the pizza.
You see this?
- No plates, no knife
and fork, no wineglasses,
- Fuck that, this is bullseye.
- Now that is good delivery service.
(laughing)
That's the guy, eh?
- I do so love this pizza.
(soft dreamy music)
(upbeat rock music)
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Can I put these on in your bedroom?
You know, Roger asked me
to go swimming with him,
I hope that's okay.
- Um, sure.
- You have such a beautiful
house, and the pool,
the pool is amazing.
♫ Sitting in my room last night
♫ Looking back upon my life
♫ And the places that I've been
♫ Pictures, face of
friends that I've loved
♫ I try to remember when
♫ Last time I saw them
♫ In July soon,
♫ Faded memories on the wall
♫ Some days I have forgotten
♫ But each one is a memory
♫ I look back on so often
♫ I look into the past
♫ I want to make it last
♫ I'll bet you didn't say
♫ Now long, together,
♫ Let's sing the fighter song,
♫ Carry on through the memories,
♫ Carry on without worries,
♫ Carry on without worries,
♫ Carry on, oh
Thanks for letting me stay.
- Hey, any friend of
Roger's is welcome here.
I owe him, apparently.
- You know, I can't believe
that I just walk in here
and find him like that.
- I can't either.
- After all this time.
- I know.
- Isn't he just the greatest guy?
- He sure is.
♫ Into the wide under,
♫ I want to be barely
holding onto something
- I must have been an idiot
to just let him walk out the first time.
- Don't be too hard on yourself.
How could you know?
♫ Carry on
(lively music)
♫ I fly, on wings that will take me home
♫ I fly
♫ Believe in this moment,
it's making me stronger,
♫ I fly
♫ From a broader view I see
♫ So-called friends had turned enemies
♫ But that built strength in me
♫ I fly
♫ On wings that will take me home
♫ I fly
♫ Believe in this moment
(soft dreamy music)
- Do I smell pizza?
Is it Pizza time?
(Virgil gasps)
- Better grab a slice
before Virgil gets the last.
- How about that Anna?
- What a woman.
Oh, baby.
And that's all she wrote.
But I gotta tell ya,
- No no no no no.
So, see you at the farmer's market?
- Sure thing, Dave.
- David.
- Sure thing, Dave.
(gate thumps closed)
- Am I mistaken, or is he the
only one that got laid today?
(soft dreamy music)
(soft radio music)
- The anchovies at
table five aren't fresh.
(laughing)
- But you are, baby!
(phone rings)
Pizzacola Pizza.
Oh, no, uh.
It's for you.
- Yeah, I know our policy.
I am Mr. Pizzacola.
Yeah, that's really my name.
Like I'd never heard that before.
Well what was I supposed
to do, open a mortuary?
Look, I've had two
drivers call in sick today
and one's gone missing for over an hour.
We'll get it to you when we get it to you.
- Other way.
- [Mr. Pizzacola] Now
where is that driver?
- Maybe he found a man of his dreams
and they're gonna run away together
and live happily ever after.
- Yeah, like that'd happen.
- I need pepper.
- Oh, yeah, baby, oh.
- Girl, I need some pepper, girl, alright?
- Yeah, I'm all the spice.
- Full of spice, that's for damn sure.
- Whew! Yow!
(soft dreamy music)
- Aw, you're so cute.
(birds chirping)
(water rippling)
- How does that happen?
(soft contemplative music)
(splashes)
- David?
David, are you okay?
- Of course I'm okay.
I'm fine.
At least the sky is still blue.
Hey Virgil,
we should talk.
(upbeat club music)
♫ Tired and confused of
what people say in the news
♫ That being gay is so wrong
♫ Continue to gaze in
honest strike you, you, CSO.
♫ I look at the clock, I
don't want to wait anymore
♫ I think it is time to come out
♫ I wanna be free like the birds yeah yeah
♫ A thousand bells are
telling to my heart tonight
♫ That it's so fucking
fierce to be gay, oh boy,
♫ And not even you're a
thousand motherfuckers baby,
♫ Gonna change me ever
♫ Why don't you let me
be just the way I am
♫ God make me like this, gay, fabulous
♫ And not even you're a
thousand motherfuckers baby,
♫ Gonna change me ever,
♫ I don't even care what people
think of me anymore tonight
♫ I wanna celebrate,
nobody tells me what to do,
♫ With my life, love myself,
I'm so proud to be gay
♫ And I share all my
pride, any day of my life
♫ You always blame me,
you don't understand me
♫ For choices I make in my life,
♫ I know you're ashamed of me,
♫ You don't have to be fake
♫ Or even pretend that you really like me
♫ You answer to me,
(electronic club music)