Policarpo (1959) - full transcript

Revenue stamp!

Palombi, 455
cashier receipt!

Hand it over.
I'll take care of it.

- I'm stealing one of your nuts.
- Go ahead, take two.

Hey! Be gentle,
will you?

Where do you think we are?

Look, the page's ruined.

You busted my
square pointed nib!

If you only knew what
it is that you bust!

Let's be clear about it..

What is it you want to clear?



You're bloody slow!
Get on with it, move!

De Tappetti,
not to be a bother,

but you've got
5kg paperwork to deal with.

If you want to clean
your cuffs, use your eraser.

Besides, if you were to use water
and soapwort, it would be better!

Why even care about
exactness and order,

as long as you can
snatch a salary!

- Hinting at somebody?
- Who knows, will understand.

- This is a provocation!
- Is it? You're impudent!

Calm down!
The new Head Office is here.

You're driving me insane.

- Then stay sane! - Enough.
- Don't raise your voice,

we're not
in Piazza Montanara!

- Is this an office or Trastevere?
- Mr. Head Office,



like I was saying,
Montanara square.

Same district, just
cross Garibaldi bridge.

First of all, stand up
when addressing a superior.

- I am standing up.
- Is that all?

It is all.

Mr. Head Office, we were discussing
about the efficiency of this office.

We do our best in being
fast, accurate, snappy, ta-ta-ta,

but then, paperwork lands
on a certain table, and it.. sits there.

So, it sits?

And.. which one would it be,
this table?

- Expose the sin, not the sinner..
- Mr. Head Office..

I am that table!

- I am very pleased!
- If I am allowed.. - Yes, I allow!

- Thanks. I'd like to show you..
- Ow!

- Are you following me?
- Damn it, I am!

- Beg your pardon.
- What are you doing?

- I have to open it.
- Open it then!

Thanks.

According to the regulations, I have
to transcribe the capitals in roman,

alternating the square nib
with the chisel shaped nib.

- Chiselaped?
- Chisel shaped.

- Now, according to Master
Paillasson's codex.. - What?

- Master Paillasson.
- Be clear! - Paillasson!

- Let's continue.
- Every T is one and a half points.

- Q.. - The Q.
- Q is two points.

Whilst the eyed and eared are two
points and a half. I have a ruler here.

If you wish,
you can certify.

I've been here two hours,
and I've had enough certifying.

- I don't want it.
- But you took it.

So, if I take it, I have
to hold it all the time!?

Oh, for goodness, dear Sirs,
this is not acceptable.

- By all point of views, everything
is running late here. - Good.

Since in a few days
the new staff designations will be in,

it will be my duty to point out
those worthiest of a rise.

Therefore, whoever
wants the rise, rise!

Rise!

You, rise!

In the meantime, I invite
everybody to suggest..

- .. anything that might improve
this section's work. - Right!

- Very well.
- Very democratic.

- If I'm not democratic, who is?
- I have a proposal, Sir Pancarano.

- Pancarano.
- Oh, forgive me. Noble?

Noble of calculations.
You can tell, right?

- Go ahead.
- Thanks.

Rather than hastening work,
to the detriment of accuracy,

- I think we should work longer.
- We enter the office at 8.

Well, it's late! I suggest that,
starting tomorrow, we arrive at 7.

7?

Oh, a hour earlier than usual.

Yes. It is a nice proposal.

- Well, I.. - Mr. Head Office,
if it is not suitable for you..

It is suitable for me,
speak for yourself!

I'm not speaking for myself,
but for the others.

Those, for instance, who live
outside the city center.

- For instance, Tribuzio, who's that?
- Tiburzi. That's me.

- Tiburzi Ettore.
- Go ahead.

To tell the truth, I live in
the suburbs, Piazza del Popolo.

However, if it is in the name of..
that.. the office's efficiency..

- You would not shirk away.
- No, I would not.

All right.

So.. Nobody is against.

- Nobody.
- Very well, thanks.

- You perhaps, are you against?
- No, no, I'm from another section.

Well, well.

Then, tomorrow morning, a hour earlier.
We come here at 7.

- What's your name? - Policarpo
De Tappetti, official scrivener.

Tappetti.
Good idea.

I hope that evil midget
will be satisfied now.

Tappetto!

Ah, sweet dreams!

Them who just need
a few hours sleep,

and then just jump off their bed,
like crickets, how I loathe them!

Don't shout like that,
my heart struggles!

Does it?
Think of mine, then.

If I don't sleep
my good 10 straight hours,

in the morning
I am a wretched thing!

Quiet, you will
wake up poor Geg?.

Oh, the poor prince,
I'm so sorry!

I don't give a damn
if Geg? wakes up!

- Carmela!
- Yes?

- If I'm up, everybody else has
to be up. Carmela! - Yes?

- My shoes.
- Yes, Sir.

- Count!
- Yes, Count!

Come on!
Geg?!

- Geg?!
- Yes?

- Up already?
- Yes, I have to go to..

- To mass!
- To mass?

- At 6?
- Yes, at 6.

De gustibus non est disputandum.

Very well! Hurry up then,
we will leave together.

- Why so early this morning?
- A pitiful clerk is to blame.

A little scrivener. The usual lackey.
He can drop dead!

- Oh god, what a disaster!
- What happened?

- The basin!
- Goodness, which one?

Which one? The only one!
The one and only basin.

It was my mother's keepsake.

Why, because my trousers
weren't my dad's keepsake?

- I'll wear the Sunday pair, then!
- That's not possible.

- They are still being mended.
- Mended, why?

- Because those were your
grandpa's keepsakes. - Very funny.

Here, get them dry, quickly.

I wouldn't want to be late,
not today, right away

after I've
made a good impression

on the Head Office, thanks to
my proposal. What are you doing?

- I'll have that man glue it, when
he drops by. - What, what, what!?

I, an official scrivener, would have
to wash with a basin all glued up?

All right.

- We won't wash ourselves then.
- Now that's a good idea!

Agenore, this morning as punishment
for being impudent

you will to wash your neck, too.

- Then I'll cry!
- Then I'll beat you!

Well, I'll cry later then.

By the way, what time is it?
You'll make me arrive late.

Time is squandered in this house,
and I am not respected!

- Don't shout, you'll wake
the officer! - The officer!

- Good morning, dad.
- Good morning, dear.

- What's with all the noise?
- Oh, daughter dear..

- Milk!
- The milkman, Celeste!

- Get the basket.
- Yes, mom.

Why is it that every single time
you've got to button up the cufflinks!?

You must leave them unbuttoned,
understand?

And that's how one arrives late.

Don't speak so loudly,
you'll wake the officer!

Yes, yes, the officer.

Damn it!

- And the money?
- The money?

- The money. - Tell him to
come back at the end of the month.

- Come back at the end of the month!
- The end of the month?

It's today, the end of the month!
You darned beggars!

Celeste, a little help.

Get in the kitchen.

- Milk!
- Rabble!

What's all this noise
down in the barrack?

This is too much, after what
I went through tonight!

Good morning, grandpa!

And I haven't received
my butter since three days.

According to my lodging contract..

3 butterballs are
to be supplied each day.

Therefore, we're 9 butterballs
in your debt, we won't forget them.

My coffee!
It's late!

But really, can we count on this
new staff designation?

Yes, I told you. The new Head Office
and I are almost buddies.

In a month, I will have that rise.

Hey dad, why is it that King Umberto
is tall, but only has one name?

It's bitter!

While Prince Vittorio Emanuele,
who's as small as you, has two!

That's because you're an idiot.
Greatness isn't measured in letters.

The longest river in Italy has
the shortest name, Po. Understood?

This coffee too is very long, but has
a short name. Malt!

- Father, I'd like to tell
you something. - 6.37!

- The trousers, are they getting
drier or not? - Please be patient!

- Tell me.
- Dad, I was thinking..

- I too should do something
for the family. - What?

Many girls my age, Irma too,
the girl from the second floor,

took a course for telegraphists.

Look, she's the daughter
of a clothier.

Does it look like
the same thing to you?

Anyway, thank you, Celeste.

But look, you, working?

We've forgotten our
family motto here!

- What's the De Tappetti family motto?
- "Come back at the end of the month".

Our family motto is:
"Let your father take care of it".

I feel the rise is close.
Very close!

From 95 lire a month to 104!

- And you'd like to work!

- Perhaps with
a little divine intervention..

In the certainty of what
I have said above,

you can throw the pieces of
the basin away. We'll buy a new one.

- Can I have some chestnut pie?
- Let's not exaggerate.

Why did you take this peg?

So that I won't smell
the burning smell.

Why wouldn't you smell
the burning smell?

Because I got the pegs!

The trousers!

- The trousers!
- No, not the trousers!

Not today! How do I go
into the office? It's a scandal!

- What's happening? - Today,
that I'd promised to go a hour early!

I won't allow such
a racket during mess!

- Officer.
- Yes.

Officer!

Oh, and I've been
told you and your clerks

have been here since
more than a hour ago.

Yes, your Honour.
It was an initiative of mine,

to increase the efficiency
of the third section.

Very poor.

I won't allow, in my employees' offices,
systems that resemble slavery.

- I'd like to point out..
- It's me who points out.

If you wanted to make me see you
under a new light, you did it very well.

- I warn you though, it is
an awful light. - Yes Sir.

Oh!

I beg your pardon for being late,
Mr. Head Office.

- I humbly seek forgiveness.
- Very well.

I read, alas, irony in your words,
but am not dismayed.

- After all, I've had an accident and..
- Of course, you were on cleaning duty.

- Sorry?
- Cleaning duty.

From the way you're dressed,
one would say you enrolled

in Counter Admiral Grenet's corps!
Correct me If I am mistaken.

You're mistaken, Mr. Head Office,
but I would never dare correct you.

- Starting tomorrow, I will be here at 6.
- No, no I will be here at 6. - Sorry?

Not even that, 5 o' clock!
I will set up everything.

You will find everything in place,
I'll even make you a nice cup of coffee.

Afterwards, you can join us.
I'll go and write the slobbery now!

- The slob?
- Bery! The personal notes

regarding the new staff dispositions.
You know. The rise.

And if you think you
and your bravado managed

to make me look
at you under a new light,

well, you did it! I tell
you though, it is an awful light.

- Mr. Head Office..
- Stand to attention when speaking to me!

Don't look upwards!

Nor downwards!

Nor shake your head!

Look at him!

Goodbye rise!

The tinker!

The tinker is here, women!

All your dishes and basins
that need repairing!

Hey, tinker!

Tinker!
We've got a basin here to mend.

Door 26, third floor.
Third floor, got it?

- Third floor?
- Hey, tinker!

- Wait, what? Are you leaving?
- Yep.

Poor Italy.

Ouch!

Got you, scoundrel!
Don't move.

I got you, thief!
Don't move, stay right there.

Just as expected!

You rascal!

- And you thought it was the carer.
- Oh god!

- Look at him!
- I am looking at him.

Aren't you ashamed to have given
birth to a thief like him?

- The salts!
- What for?

Oh, now she faints.. Look,
if something happens to your mother!

The salts!

Listen father, I'd rather not tell you,
but often times, you are pretty mean.

- Am I? - Yes. - You good
for nothing, I'll sue you for theft!

- But you set a trap! Come on!
- Run with the times, kid.

A trap, he says!
"Walletwarden Securitas"

"Against pickpockets, cutpurses.. "
Give it to me!

- 4 lire and 75 cents.
- Right, but those are villainous methods.

- Take it back. - No.
- Amelia, tell your son to take it back.

- The salts! - Right away!
- They should be here!

Ouch! Damn you!

Who's that?
Oh, the coffee.

Give it to me. Go.

- How are you, mother? Better?
- Yes.

Did you see what he's done?
A bruised hand.

- You don't need it for working, anyway.
- Sure, keep going at it!

- Cesare, please hold your temper!
- Right, right, I can even temper myself,

but I want,
I demand my son to reveal

the purpose of
this sequence of robberies.

- The name.
- My name?

- Hers. - Whose? - There's
a woman, a swindler, behind all this.

- That's untrue! - Then it's
gambling, chemin de fer, at the club.

No gambling nor women.

- I needed the Money to go out
with Don Mazzocco. - With whom?

Don Mazzocco,
a saint of a man!

Today he brings
the youth association boys

around for an educational trip,
and I'm going with him.

No, you're not!

Call it off. We're going to the Pincio,
to listen to the concert

played by
the Royal Carabinieri Band.

The telephone!

- I'll get it!
- The telephone!

Telephone on a Sunday?
Who's it, this time of the day?

Hello? Yes, it's me.

Ah!

- It's you, dear don Mazzocco!
- What are you talking about?

Listen, you idiot!
I'll soon be out of rehearsal,

and I kept all Sunday
free just for you.

Yes Father, I understand.

I gave up an appointment
with a member of parliament.

- I could sit in.
- What do you have to offer?

- The charm of an uniform.
- That's stupid.

- Never mind. - I wasn't
talking to you, you ugly idiot!

- Where is it you've got to go?
- To the Pincio, with ma and pa,

to listen to the concert
by the Royal Carabinieri Band.

Oh, is it? If you go,
you'll never see me again.

- Peace and amen.
- Amen!

- Where are you going?
- I got bored.

Everything bores you.

There's one thing that doesn't,
and we know what it is!

Go ahead!

No, I don't wanna!
I don't want to see the music.

Music uplifts the spirit,
you little ignoramus!

And if I'm taking you
to listen to it, not to see it,

it is because I want you
to acquire a sense of beauty.

Acquire me a chestnut pie instead!

That, when I get the rise.
Right now, it could be problematic.

Let's buy him chestnut pie,
it's Sunday, just a little cent.

On with the debauchery!
A cent today, a cent tomorrow..

The piece has started.

- We missed the ouverture.
- Alright, give it to him.

Hey, old man!

- A cent's worth, counting out.
- The counting out uh?

- Yes.
- All right.

Out! Eight.

One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight..

I've been had. Here.

Enjoy it.

Let's go.

Agenore, come!
He doesn't want to come!

- Never mind then, but keep
an eye on him. - Yes, father.

Miss..

- Miss..
- Who's that?

- Not the faintest.
- May I introduce myself?

Can I have
some hazelnuts?

- No, move it.
- I want the hazelnuts!

- I want the hazelnuts!
- Come on boy, go play.

- Pumpkin seeds!
- Agenore!

Pumpkin seeds!

Miss, are you afraid
to be left alone?

But I am here.
May I offer you an ice cream?

Guardabassi's ice cream cake,
in Montecitorio square!

Is it too far?
We'll take that car.

Would you kindly disappear?

Beautiful and stern,
the type I've always dreamed.

There, dad! There he is!

Degenerate!

- Dad..
- You shut up.

- Degenerate, be ashamed!
- That'll teach you!

A girl can't even
go walking a couple minutes,

that a satyr is ready
to jump on her.

- Where are the guards?!
- Please, you're exaggerating.

Dad, please don't make
a show out of this.

Celestina,
what'd they do to you?

Nothing, Mrs.
I didn't do anything to her.

Come with me, he's here.

Please tell him miss,
that I didn't do anything.

- I was only offering her an
ice cream cake.. - Sir watchman,

this man was about to entice
my daughter without my consent.

This passer-by gentleman here
can provide testimony.

- Retired Officer, Alps Huntsmen!
- Orders!

- Put on record.
- Let it go, there's no need!

Name and family.

- Gerolamo Pancarano di Rond?.
- The address too.

- Sorry, I didn't catch your name?
- Gerolamo Pancarano.

- Fatherhood?
- Di Cesare.

Halt. Halt.

Sometimes we, in a fit of anger,
fall victim to the first impetus,

instead of the second, or third, which,
after all, are usually the best ones.

- Sorry, and that meant?
- I meant that, all in all,

judging properly, it was simply
childish behaviour, wasn't it?

No, it wasn't! It is children
that behave like children,

- and this guy is a dupe.
- Think for yourself!

Besides, his account
is unaccountable,

because unfortunately,
I know him very well.

You withdraw the complaint then?

Could you repeat
your name and family?

Gerolamo Pancarano
di Rond?, di Cesare.

I withdraw.

- Thank you, you're very kind.
- Please, you're welcome!

- Justice first.
- Geg?, what are you doing here?

- Dad! - What are you doing?
- Oh, is it your son?

Pancarano father
and Pancarano son.

Mrs., I had the pleasure of
meeting your distinguished son.

Eufemia, Celeste,
Sir Head Office Pancarano.

- Di Rond?.
- Di Rond?.

One moment!

- Is De Tappetti here?
- Yes.

Thanks.

Oh, right.

Let him hang.

- Who's there?
- Guess.

- Celeste, flowers! Flowers again.
- Oh, my!

They must've cost at least one lira!
And this time there's more.

There's a message with them.
The language of flowers.

Translate.

I wouldn't want this language of flowers
to be something vulgar.

Valerian: true love.
Verbena: pure feelings.

Valerian, verbena.
This is a love declaration!

- But dad, I barely know him!
- Come on.

- I must've cut too much.
- Policarpo, come here.

- Here, look. Did you see?
- Yes, it's him, it's really him.

- He has the car tricycle. Such fancy.
- That's a bit shameless, though.

- Not really!
- Celeste!

He's such a kind young man Celeste,

son of a head office,
you could at least greet him!

- No. - At least wave to him.
It's not compromising.

No!

Celeste!

Father, I assure you,
my intents are in earnest.

- No, no, no, no. Never.
- Father, I..

Father, Dad, Papa..
I said Never!

If I have to be honest..
I don't understand you.

- He doesn't understand me!
- No, I don't.

Beg your pardon, but you always say
I waste my time, chasing ballerinas!

Ballerinas..

And the servants too!
Look at what sort

of monster I have
to hire because of you!

- Go, go!
- That's exactly why!

You say I have to set
my mind straight, it's true.

But this time, I am really in love.
Celeste De Tappetti is an angel!

An angel..
We've got an house full of angels.

The porter's daughter was an angel.
The butcher's widow also was.

- What do you hold against this girl?
- Personally, I hold nothing.

But you have to remember she is
the daughter of a darned nib-buster.

Geg?, dad is worried about his name,
which is also yours. We're barons.

Remember, we're..
we're barons, right?

Barons a damn,
we're counts.

You're countess.
These people don't

even know who they are..
where ever did I end up?

- Luckily, I do know!
- Here we go again with nobility.

Yes, here we go again. Read.
I received it this morning,

from the Heraldic
Research Council.

A Pancarano di Rond? stock
was established in the Parmesan.

- In the parmesan cheese?
- Yes, gorgonzola.. Parmesan territory!

It seems Pancarano
derives from Piancarrano,

an ancient county,
near uh.. Montechiarucolo.

- Read. Read it.
- All right, all right dad, but..

What does all this
have to do with it?

Well, why don't we get
to know better this girl?

- Let's see what she is like.
- No.

Listen father, let's at least
invite them once, perhaps,

to the theater.
A soir?e!

Right, a soir?e..
No!

- Why not?
- Not even if you drop dead!

He's the devil.

- What?
- He scares me.

- Magnificent thing.
- Wonderful.

You are full of grace,
and your countenance is noble.

- Are you nobles?
- We, nobles?

We are.

I am the youngest. Did you do
any research on your name?

Perhaps, originally
it was De Tappettis,

ending in "s", like certain
Spanish equestrian orders.

Isn't there any chivalrous
ancestor within your family?

- Yes, my grandma's brother.
- Oh!

He was a coachman.

He's the devil. I've never seen
a woman cut in half like that.

- Me neither.
- It's such a..

Did you enjoy it?

Quiet!

- Be still!
- There's no room to applaud.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're going
to put this pigeon in a simple box.

Your attention now!

One, two and three!

Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you
for a little bit more patience.

- Now also the pigeon's gone!
- Why, did something else disappear?

- Can't you see?
- No.

Heavens, blind, are you?

Ladies and gentlemen,
the pigeon's gone, or so it seems.

I would advise you,
kind spectators, to pay attention,

the pigeon is
closer than you'd imagine

Search, search well.
Look around yourselves.

I have had
the honour of experimenting

with the most reputed
audiences in Europe.

Some of them have
called it out as magic.

No, Sirs, it is not magic.

It's something less..
and something more.

I ask for your collaboration.
Help me find it.

The pigeon is amongst you,
there is no doubt.

It's not?

Look! Search very well!
The pigeon is there!

It must be! Search properly,
don't be afraid.

It cannot be but there!

It smells good. Try.

This pigeon is a jolly good fellow,
albeit a dead one.

Came out nicely.

Celeste, sometimes I really
don't understand you.

Di Rond? junior is beautiful,
nice, noble and healthy.

Who else would you want?
Tsar Nicholas?

But father,
I don't like him.

- Oh, she doesn't like him. And why?
- Just like that, I don't like him.

- Mom!
- Yes?

- Is it ready?
- Almost. Set the table.

Can you tell me
why you don't like him?

He's silly, erratic,

he doesn't have
any sense of responsibility.

Tell me the truth, father, is it simply
because he's the Head Office's son?

In order to obtain that position,
and the 9 lire monthly rise,

you would marry me
not to Tsar Nicholas, but to Menelik!

Listen, in a family where,
in order to eat a roasted pigeon,

one has to thwart the career of one
of the most successful illusionists,

a good daughter shouldn't
be posing too many questions!

Do we want to abandon this strictly
vegetarian regimen, or not?

Then, obey your father,
and sleep tight.

Celeste, listen.

I think I am worth
more than 9 lire every month.

- What are you going to do?
- What am I going to do?

Here, read this.

"The typewriters company
Franquinet & co"

".. is hiring young women.
Good position, excellent salary. "

Are you out of your head?
What do you think your father will say?

I want to contribute to the
abolition of the vegetarian regimen,

and I'm not going to marry
a head office's son to do it!

Give it to me.

Celeste!

- Sorry, is it here that
they're hiring? - Yes, miss.

But these guys don't want us.

Boys, you're just making things worse.
We will discuss about it later!

- No! Call Mr. Franquinet!
- Yeah!

Well? What's the commotion?

We don't want women
in the factory, we suffice.

Young man, I know what
does suffice and what does not!

Hiring women workers

- is part of our developmental plan!
- What?

- Then hire qualified workers!
- Ha! Qualified workers?

- And you would be qualified?!
- Of course!

- Go home, women!
- Enough with the injustices!

- I have the right to hire whoever
I please! - Mr. Franquinet is right!

Go home!

Work out things democratically!

- Thugs!
- Look, your sister is there too.

lole, we'll settle
things at home!

- Stop it!
- Madwomen!

Who do you think you are,
Ciceruacchio?

Hey, you got me in the eye!

Miss!
I'm really sorry.

Did you see what you did
to this poor thing?

Who's the poor thing!?
This won't come off now.

- It will, if you do it straight away.
- Come! - Leave me alone!

My mother's laundry is round the corner,
if it doesn't come off, I'll pay for it.

We're not against
letting women work..

Yeah, as long as she's working
to support the man, right?

Mom!

- If I weren't here, you'd be eating
crickets. - You're working on your own.

If we want equality though,
it has to be equality,

meaning the same pay.
If she settles for less pay,

then she's damaging men. That's why
the manager was looking for women.

He pays women less, then
he fires a father with a family.

- Hey!
- Well, that's the idea.

- She's a bit fanatical,
but she's pretty. - Yes, yes.

Here's the shirt. Came out nicely,
you can't even tell.

- Thanks Mrs. Sorry to have bothered you.
- You're welcome.

- Good morning, professor.
- Good morning.

How are you?

Not good.
I am not satisfied.

Marcella, please
speak with the professor.

- Yes? - You should be
more careful with the starch.

- Why? Aren't the shirts good?
- The shirts, they are.

But you starched
my underwear, too.

How is a woman,
who knows no trade,

supposed to ask for the same pay
as a qualified worker?

Well, she get quali..

She gets the qualifications.
Why don't you learn to type?

- To type? - It's easy,
a simple matter of apprenticeship.

To learn the mechanism,
3 or 4 lessons are enough.

- I will teach you.
- But I..

Come, that way you'll be able
to find a job in an office.

To work as a labourer,
one needs to be rough, tough.

- Here, like her.
- Idiot, whaddya want?

Nothing.
You weren't even following.

- Well, do you accept?
- Your umbrella, miss.

Thanks.

All right, I accept.
Thanks.

Goodbye Mrs., and thanks a lot.
You've been very kind.

Don't mention it.. it's nothing.
Pleased to have met you.

- Goodbye.
- Take care.

Goodbye, and thanks everybody!

I guess 3 or 4 lessons won't
be enough. Perhaps ten or so.

"E."

"S."

- Try.
- I can't find it!

"T."

"E."

Good!
It's not a bad start.

Though be careful,
this time too, you hit the spacer

- with the index instead of the biggo.
- The thumb.

The thumb, sorry.

This way you'll learn typing
and I'll end up learn speaking.

Oh! Says the one who didn't
want women into the factory.

- If only Franquinet saw us..
- This time of the day, nobody's here.

And if he does see us,
I'll have him pay me for the overtime.

We're working for the circulation
of his goods, after all. Let's carry on.

- Rose.
- It got stuck.

Me too.

Then I'll castle!

Yes, I castle, my friend!

Here we go.

So he castled..

Then I'll castle too,
and you're screwed!

Cesare, here it is.
All nice and ironed.

Today, if everything runs smoothly,
we'll have the Abruzzese Society

- in check within ten moves.
- Give me the wig.

Take it off.

They hand delivered this.

"Policarpo De Tappetti, official
scrivener, announces the engagement

between Mr. Gerolamo
Pancarano di Rond?,

and his firstborn Celeste. "

This is unbelievable!

The engagement invitation? I didn't
even give him the authorization!

- Miserable fool! There!
- Cesare!

- Calm down!
- Calm down, calm down..

It's an obsession.
He exasperates me.

That evil midget! To think that
I was going to suggest him for a raise.

Please be patient.
Do it for Geg?.

Oh, look. St. Crispino!

Her countenance is
so aristocratic, so fine.

- She'll look nicely along Geg?.
- Yes, yes, all right.

Very well. So if
I were to make a sacrifice,

there you go..
I will humiliate myself.

- But, you see.. - Celeste is
really the right girl for him.

Haven't you noticed that
he's become milder, more loving.

It really seems he has
set his head straight.

Yes, changed..
he's changed.

- He's good-tempered, after..
it's snapped. - Snapped?

I know.
Here, he's taken all my money.

- He just left the holy picture.
- You carry a holy picture?

I do!

I thought you said
you were anticlerical!

I am what I am,
now leave me alone!

- Sir Pancarano!
- What does he want?

He participates in the tournament.

- Is he a member of
the Parmesan Family? - No.

Well, he cannot be
a noble combatant then!

He contents himself
with being a pawn.

Sir Pancarano di Rond?!

I hear you, De Tappetti!
I am not deaf!

- But it's late!
- What time is it?

"Valda pills, good for the cough,
sore-throat, colds. "

It's, uh.. tyfive!

Let the game begin!

Pawn 2E, two steps forward.

Antelegem move pedem.

Hey.

Knight! 1G to 3F.

Bishop to C5.

Rook to 7A. Go!

You're gorgeous today.
I yearn for you.

- When can I see you alone?
- Why?

Why? We're almost
engaged now, you know.

And when I'm with you,
I feel a fire burning..

Ouch!

- Geg?, what is it?
- Leave me alone, for goodness!

My dear accountant,
the fun begins now.

Call to move and consequent offence,
Keverenski's way.

It's risky..

Audaces fortuna iuvat.

Pawn to E6.
Take the enemy!

Knight, 3G to 5F!

Take the enemy!

They swallowed it!
Pawn G7, two steps forward.

Pawn G7,
two steps forward.

- De Tappetti!
- What?

- Two steps forward!
- Who, me?

- Who else, me? Who's pawn G7?
- How do I know!?

It's you!
You are pawn G7!

Take two steps forward.

- The rook is there.
- Do it!

But it will take me!

It is supposed to!
Two steps forward, or I'll..

- But why?
- De Tappetti, two steps forward!

- Two steps forward!
- I'll take one, or I'll be taken.

- Black moved!
- Knight in 6H!

- King in check!
- Checkmate!

Checkmate!

We won!

Congratulations, Sir.

- Did you see how I got ahead
of the knight? - Checkmate.

- Check what?
- Checkmate!

Bills, bills, bills,
nothing else!

Each day, we're spending
more than 2 lire.

- What's this shoemaker bill?
- Yes.

Yes? I had the heels mended myself,
but the sole, who did that?

The shoemaker.

To exact his bill, he must've walked up
and down the stairs a hundred times.

Leave those bills,
you'll get yourself a headache.

- Policarpo, come and help me.
- Celeste isn't home?

She went out.

- Then nobody's home.
- Just the Officer, sleeping.

This girl's been going out
a bit too much, lately.

Where to?
She really shouldn't,

especially now that
she's about to be engaged.

- Should I tighten some more?
- No, it's fine like this.

- I didn't put up too much fat, did I?
- No, actually, I was thinking..

What?

I was thinking that after the rise,
once the new dispositions are in..

We.. we could..

I must get back to the bills..

- By the way, know what day
is tomorrow? - What day is it?

- It's Agenore's birthday.
- It's the second time in three years!

Right! Let's keep
not telling him his age,

so we don't have
to buy him presents.

Tomorrow is Thursday, and shall
I remind you that my contract,

signed right in front of notary,
states: "Dumplings on Thursday".

Leech.

We've also got to think
about Celeste's trousseau.

We would need a lump sum
for the expenses, until the rise.

- You've already done a partial
cession.. - Partial? Global!

- All that is left to cession,
is grandpa. - Grandpa?

Yes, gramps, the old man,
the retired officer.

Think about it, Eufemia.
When he signed his contract,

- he gave us 950 lire.
- Yes.

he's eaten 700 of those already,
and going strong, despite his 80 years.

There's 250 lire left. If I were to
make a contract cession for 200,

- we would be left with 50. - It's a
good idea, but who can you sell it to?

Don't you understand that he could
live up to 150? And who's going to pay?

Not me! I'm making a cession.
And I also know to whom.

Little by little every day

Everything that disappears,
my love,

takes away
a little piece of my heart.

Good old songs from times bygone

born out of my first loves.

Only when nobody will sing to me

my life will be sad and devoid.

Traditions and trends
go with the ages,

ideas change,
even behind closed eyes.

That which doesn't change still,
I don't know why,

is my old-fashioned,
old heart.

There he is.

The tram!

- I help him get on.
- Let me go! I don't need help.

If that old world that was..

- What do you think?
- He's still pretty hardy.

Yes, but it's all looks. He stands
upright because there's people around.

- How old is he? - I don't know.
He says 82, but he's subtracting.

I think he was
in the Russian campaign.

He eats little, doesn't snore,
it's a bargain!

- Why don't you keep him, then?
- Because my daughter is getting married.

I need the money now, and
I'm giving it to you as a favour.

Look, I had the classified ad
ready to print.

"For sale: board and room

for lodging Officer,
past his eighties,

- in bad shape, 200 negotiable. "
- All right.

I think we have a deal.

Just a second! Perhaps this is it.
If it is, the negotiation is canceled.

- Officer!
- Are we there yet?

He was sleeping. So it's a deal,
I get 50 lire gratuity.

- Officer, this is Mr. Tiburzi.
- Pleased to meet you!

Warrant Officer Frasca,
Alps Huntsmen corp.

- He's got a hand of steel! Make it 45.
- He's doing it because there's people!

Hey! That's my daughter!

Wait a minute! Stop!
I've got to go! You explain to him.

Who was that?

- Good evening, Sir Head of division.
- Good evening.

Please, this way.

- Are we alone?
- Don't worry.

You know, there's no
such thing as being too careful.

Here.

- This way. - Hey, there's
some people in the factory.

No, it's just my employees
practicing with the typewriter.

This way, please.

- May I?
- Thanks.

Now..

My dear Franquinet, I,
as a mere head of division,

am not authorized
to communicate anything to you.

But in a not so official way,
I can confirm definitively

that in higher places
they are ready to sign.

The typewriter will make
its debut in bureaucracy.

It's a victory,
my dear Franquinet!

- However, a new factor has arisen.
- Which is?

Two foreign companies.
You're no longer alone.

What? They would rather give
the commission to a foreign company?

Putting a foreign product before
the fruit of national labour?

Certainly, in higher places, and to me,
such a thing is repulsive.

- Not to be patriotic, but..
- Why not? Let's be!

Come on, Franquinet,
you, after all, are Swiss.

Naturalized.

Let's try something new.

Write without looking
at the keys, nor the sheet.

Once you have learnt to write
without looking, you're set.

- All the others, they'll
be screwed! - Mr. Mario!

I'm sorry. Slip of the tongue.

Hands in place. I will now
dictate one word at a time,

and you, without looking, will type.
Afterwards we'll count the mistakes.

"M."

"I."

Spacebar, with the.. thumb.

"P, I, A, C, E, S, S, E".
Don't look! Spacebar.

And the offers
from the other companies,

are they superior to my own?

- Almost twice as much.
- Holy! Twice..

- Wait, I said "almost"!

If, like you have said,
you want to be patriotic,

this is your chance.
Block the foreign companies!

Costs me a fortune!
Like you Italians say.

My dear Franquinet, one way
or another, you'll have to pay.

Who's that?

Who are you talking about?

It's the same person who
greeted me earlier, outside.

- I don't see anybody.
- He was there, I assure you.

Well then, shall we conclude?

What does he want?
What is he seeking?

Look, not even one mistake.

"I'd like to be youre boyfriend. "

No, look, there's two.

First, it's not "youre",
but "your".

Damn!

Secondly, even if you'd like to,
you can't be sure I would like to.

You wouldn't?

Would you like to try?

Celeste!

- Shame on you! Who's that guy?
- Wait, my name is Mario Marchetti.

I was teaching her to type.

What!? The daughter of
a certified calligraphist..

Come here!
In cahoots with a machinist.

Specialized mechanic,
if you will.

The only specialized mechanic
I will talk to,

is the one who comes
to unplug my sink.

- Come with me, shameless girl!
- But I have feelings for your daughter!

- Shut up!
- You're hurting me, dad!

- And this is nothing!
- Please be understanding.

Shut up, machinist!

- Mechanic.
- Doesn't this window open!?

It's closed.

- Yes, mom? - You didn't
touch a thing at dinner.

I wasn't hungry.

Mom, I like Mario.

I don't even know why,
he's a simpleton, but I like him.

- Please don't do this to your father.
- Why can't I work?

Because he thinks
he is enough for the family.

He wants to be enough.

That's the reason.
He's always thinking of the rise.

You know how long he's been
waiting for it.. 18 years at least.

I remember you'd just
begun walking, and he said:

"I will get that rise now,
and we'll buy a walker for Celestina"

What should I do?

You don't know what I'd do to get rid
of that half-man and his whole family.

Do you know what Marquis Spada
said, before the match?

Who is Marquis Spada?

The president of the Heraldic Council.
Know what'd he say?

He said that Pancarrano is not
an alteration of Piancarrano,

like we thought,
in the county of Parma.

Well, of course,
you're from Naples.

Why, a Neapolitan cannot have
ancestors in Milan, Genoa,

Turin, Florence,
Rome, Bari, Lecce?

- Well then, what kind of alteration
is it, then? - It is from Biancamano.

Get it?
Biancamano!

Well, it's logical, it's possible,
Biancamano, Biancarano..

- It's similar.
- Biancamano of Savoy?

Sounds like.

We are awaiting confirmation.

To think that our son could have hoped
to marry a Colonna, an Orsini..

Instead, he'll end up Tappetti,
end up tire-bouchon.

We should persuade him, but who can?
He won't listen to you. To me?

Not even.

Don Mazzocco!

- Oh, yes!
- What?

- Amelia, Geg?'s notebook.
- What are you up to?

I'm calling don Mazzocco.
Geg? always speaks so highly of him.

I have to call him.
No stone will be left unturned.

Mazzocco.. Mazzocco..
here it is.

Don Mazzocco, 421.

421 telephones already in Rome.
The city is growing.

Goodness, how many are we?

Hello? Miss,
could you get me the 421.

Cesare, the reverend must surely be
busy with prayers this time of the day.

Hello? Hello? Hello? Anybody!?
I'd like to speak to Don Mazzocco.

This is the Tic Tac ballet.
There's nobody by that name.

Yes, I am sure. After all
these years! Don't waste my time!

- There's no don Mazzocco here.
- Who are they looking for?

Somebody is bothering me for
a certain don Mazzocco.

I'll take it.

Geg?, stop playing the fool,
you're not funny at all.

- Who's speaking?
- You know very well, Geg?.

And you're an idiot!

You didn't find him? See,
I was right, must be in the church.

Miss, the 421 again, please.

And believe me,
my dear miss,

it's been since that day that
my son has lost his peace of mind.

I did the impossible,
to make him change ideas,

but Celeste De Tappetti
is everywhere.

She's the daughter of an employee
of mine, half a scoundrel,

he is omnipresent, at the variety show,
at the theater, at the beach resort..

He wants to marry her!
What kind of joke is that?

If the grandfather is like that, what
will be the nephews like? I'm afraid.

- Especially for the race.
- In other words,

he's taken a wrong turn.

Miss, we must do something.

You have to help me.

- Sunday, at the seaside?
- Sunday at the seaside.

- Aren't you cold?
- No, mom.

- It's pretty!

- I find it a bit too much daring.
- Come on, mom!

A little, yes,
a little bit.

- But this is the seaside!
- Celeste! Light of my life!

Let us moisten our appendages.

Cesare! We go bury
the watermelon close to the sea.

That way it'll stay fresh.

Here I am! Your gourds.

- Mm. Thanks.
- Shall we take a bath together?

No.

- A little nervous?
- Yes. A little.

Why?

Uh, where's my newspaper?
I wanted to read the bottom article.

About international politics.
Very interesting. Did you take it?

- No, Sir Pancarano.
- You sure?

- Let's see..
- Who could.. they touch everything..

Agenore, you scoundrel,
where did you put the newspaper?

- Here it is!
- Where was it?

- Oh?
- Where was it?

It had flown away,
because it's windy.

And it's not healthy to read,

with sand in your eyes.
If I may, I'll read.

- The bottom article.
- The bottom article, right..

The survey.
The political survey.

Political survey.. yes, that's exactly
the title. "Political survey".

- Read.
- A dispatch from Vienna discloses

that the political position of
the buffer state Bosnia Herzeg?vina..

Herzegov?na.

is increasingly menaced by the pression
exercised by Austro-Hungarian.

- Always the same. That's going
to get ugly. - Oh yes, it is.

- Well, go on.
- Concerned for this pressure..

- .. Bosnia turned to Serbia.
- To Serbia?

Yes. Which, even if supported
by the other buffer state,

.. Lich
.. Likstenstan.

Liechtenstein.

Therefore, in the event of war,
what does Macedonia do?

Yes, what does it do?

- That's the point, Sir!
- Wait a minute.

- Well, doctors say fruit macedonia
isn't healthy.. - Wait. Stop!

- Not a shred of decency!
- At this rate..

Celeste, I met
many women in my life..

but only you can warm
my heart, my fantasy.

I love, I desire but you.

Excuse me my darling,
I just saw a friend,

I'll go and say hi.
I'll be right back.

Go ahead.

Victory! Victory!

- I'm diving in!
- Me too, Sir! Where are the gourds?

Why'd you take the gourds?

Sir!

Sir, wait!

Sir Pancarano di Rond?!

- I'm coming with you.
- No.

- Why not? - Because I don't
want to take a bath with you.

- Go to the commoners' zone.
- What does that mean?

We have to re-establish a gap.

I want to erase from my memory
the De Tappetti name.

Sorry, I'm astounded..
Perhaps the sun was a bad idea?

Oh, the sun of days to come..
St. Gennaro graced me,

the engagement between
my son and your daughter is off.

Astound, De Tappetti, astound!
And these are my gourds.

- Shoo! Let me breathe, let me dive.
- No!

Help!

- Sir!
- Help!

- Sir!
- Try to stay afloat!

- Help is on its way!
- Help!

Stick to your safety gourds!
They're saving you!

De Tappetti!

Tiburzi!

- Hello Tiburzi.
- Hi.

What's the meaning
of the reunion?

Urgent communications.
What is up with you? Feeling blue?

Oh, my daughter's fianc?
has fled with a dancer.

I'm sorry.
That's one rascal!

After all,
everybody has troubles.

- Is it new?
- Yes, but for mourning.

Mourning?

He, too, abandoned us.

- The Officer?
- Yes.

Cheer up..
he didn't suffer at all.

Go figure, the other day,
Thursday, he wanted dumplings.

A real big plateful.
He ate, and ate, and ate,

then, at a certain point,
he said:

"Oh, how good they are!"

And with a smile on his lips..
Poof!

Poof! And we'd always given
him so little dumplings..

- Gentlemen, the Head Division.
- The Head Division!

Grand Officer
Egidio Marzi Laurenzi.

My dear friends!

Though I might not know
each of you individually,

I consider you not simply
collaborators, but also friends.

Therefore, it is with joy
that I bring you good news.

Shortly the public administration

will adopt a new mechanical
typing system.

Yes my dears, typewriters!

Nibs, pens, ink stains
will be no longer,

replace by the new and marvelous
machines produced by Franquinet & co.,

a national treasure
in the engineering industry.

Hooray for the Italian
engineering industry.

I was saying,
a new era of progress

and bureaucratic
improvement is beginning.

Therefore, the honour
of opening this new era

in the Public Administration,
is yours, my friends.

Finally,

all the archivists,
official scriveners,

who volunteer to learn
this new typing method,

- raise your hand.
- Raise your hands!

Since, I take it,
the majority agrees,

- raise your hand if you object.
- Any objectors?

No.

- One, over there. Come forward.
- Who's that?

Excuse me, but taking into account
it is possible to object..

Oh, De Tappetti! What are you after?
Aren't you satisfied by this?

- No.
- What did he say?

- No.
- He said no!?

Why, is it a swearword?

I meant to say that I cannot lay
my fingers upon those black things.

- What's the meaning of this?
- De Tappetti, come here.

Yes.

- Here, De Tappetti.
- Yes, Sir.

Let us be clear about it. You will
lay your fingers where I want you to.

I will not lay my fingers
where you want me to.

- De Tappetti! - You asked for
objectors, then you don't let me object!

- That's right.
- Mr. Head Division,

I speak to you, because you
can understand me better.

- You see, I'd rather not write with
those.. things. - The typewriters.

Because, first of all,
I am a certified calligrapher.

Of course.

And secondly, for another reason
I wish not to discuss here.

No, no. Discuss it.
Let's hear this!

No! But why, but why? If he doesn't
want to talk, he doesn't have to.

Gentlemen, the reunion is over.
You may go.

Goodbye.

Goodbye..

Anyway, if you don't
want to type,

as we were saying, you
don't have to, it is optional.

I thank you.

I knew one could
have a reasonable deal with you.

- Goodbye. - He's the black sheep
of this administration.

What did you say his name was?

- Eufemia.
- Yes?

The rise fell through.

There's a letter from Celeste.

- It's typewritten!
- Read it!

"Dear mom, I am at Mario's. "

"I will be back once
dad will have consented. "

Policarpo, for the love of God,
take a decision.

Who could it be,
this time of the day?

Who could it be?
Must be her, the machinist!

Sir Head Division!
Wrong landing, maybe?

- Aren't you De Tappetti?
- In person.

- May I?
- Please.

- Eufemia!
- Quick, we're leaving, come.

Good evening!

Come.

- Sorry, Sir Head Division.
- No worries.

- Have a seat.
- Thanks.

It is a bit messy in here.
Can I offer you a glass?

- Glass of what?
- Uh, an empty one.

I don't know where
to find the.. the spirits.

- We've had some issues.
- Doesn't matter.

You.. what do you want?

- Did you come here for that?
- I asked you what do you want.

Well, as I said before..
I'd like to continue writing by hand.

Let's not beat about the bush.
What else?

Sorry, but you came, right here,
to collect my desires,

so I am quite touched.

It's really true,
how the saying goes.

Head divisions are
the fathers of the employees.

- Is there a saying like that?
- Well, I hope so!

De Tappetti!
Let's get real.

- I can express myself, then?
- Express.

- It might seem excessive to you..
- Say.

Well, I'd like..

.. the ri..

The?

The rise.

What do you mean, by rise?

The 9 lire increase, monthly,

as is expected in the role
I am honoured to have.

Oh! Is that all?

What do you mean?

Are you not going
to put up other claims?

You came see me,
in my hovel,

I don't have to use the typewriter,
and you grant me the rise.

- What else could I desire from life?
- Very well, you will have the rise.

Thank you, Sir Head Division. This
proves you are fair and righteous. Here.

Forgive me, by the way,
if I do not learn to type.

But, besides that I got
my calligrapher's qualification

with top marks,
what did one study for?

- I understand. - I can't simply
throw my qualification away.

But, besides, I have a personal qualm
with the typewriter, you see,

because my daughter
is being mutinous.

She ran off with
a typewriter mechanic.

- I am sorry. Goodbye.
- Pardon my verbosity..

- .. but this is about my daughter.
- Yes, I'm sorry. Goodbye.

When I did catch them in the evening,
in Franquinet's factory, I got very angry.

- But it was useless.
- Goodbye.

Goodbye.

- At 8!?
- In the office?

- Yes. Every morning at 8.
- No, in Franquinet's factory.

- No, the other night, it was 8 when..
- When I had the honour of greeting you.

- So you were there to catch
your daughter.. - With the mechanic.

- Yes. - Imagine if
I am going to learn to type!

Yes! Yes you are!

- I am what?
- Going to type.

But why, didn't you just say..

I didn't say a thing. You had
me come here to offer you a rise!

A rise!
If you don't want to lose your job,

- you'd better learn to type, and fast.
- Wasn't it optional?

For the others.
For you, it's not, scoundrel!

- No..
- What?

You can't talk to me like that,
you see, not in my own house.

I see myself forced
to ask you to leave.

I said I see myself forced..
I didn't say it!

Sir Head Division!

Head offices, head divisions,
who in the world understands them?

First, they're kind,
"you're good, the rise",

then suddenly, bam,
a kick in the face.

- What'd you do?
- What do I know?

Know what? I'll lose the job,
but I'm not going to type!

- Oh Mary, help him! - This is
the moment of great decisions!

First, I'm going to the police
to report your daughter

and his kidnapper!

Policarpo! I've been meaning
to tell you for years.

You're a cretin!
Agenore, we're leaving.

Quick, the car!

- Get on with it!
- But not too much!

It's the 93, the laundry!

Come, follow me!

- If you will, I am giving the orders.
- All right.

Alotta!

- What are you doing?
- Pardon.

- I think..
- I know!

Alotta!

Open.

- In the name of the law..!
- I did tell you already, didn't I?

- In the name of the law, freeze!
- What's up?

Dad, have you gone mad?

- Eufemia, Agenore! What are you
doing, Agenore? - Dad, agnolotti!

- Shut up! - This man has reported
a kidnapping. The daughter's.

- Are you the daughter?
- Yes.

- You can talk to me. I'm the mother.
- You are the mother?

- This changes everything, then.
- What?

The presence of the lady here
is an indicator

of parental consent,
and nullifies the offense.

- That's only words!
- No, they are facts.

- Franca, get some glasses.
- Thank you, but I do not drink on duty.

But if the crime's not there,
the duty is over, isn't it?

- Oh. Right!
- Eufemia, Celeste, Agenore!

- Get out of this house right away!
- Don't raise your voice in others' houses.

- We're not going. - Knock it off.
Maria, you tell him to sit down.

- Mr. Policarpo, if you will.
- No.

- Please.
- Did you eat?

- No.
- Dad, agnolotti!

You told me already.
And I never liked them.

Pickled artichokes then,
prosciutto..

Prosciutto and pickled artichokes..
Come on, make yourself at home!

We pickled them ourselves with oil!
Try them! You'll feel the difference.

Come on, get chowing!

All right, but one prosciutto
slice only, and one artichoke.

- One only. A small one.
- It's decided.

Agenore.
Elbows off the table.

We'll prepare you
a delicious roasted abbacchio.

Get that coffee ready!

- Mom, I want sugar.
- Franca, bring the coffee.

The coffee, pronto!

Thus changes the world

Little by little every day

- How does it go?
- Everything that disappears..

Everything that disappears,
that goes,

takes away a piece of my heart..
cheers!

Good old songs from times bygone

I keep forgetting it!

Born out of my first love.

Born out of my first love.
Isn't it like that?

Born out of my first loves.

Only when nobody will sing to me

my life will be sad and devoid.

Traditions and trends
go with the ages,

ideas change,
even behind closed eyes.

That which doesn't change still,
I don't know why,

is my old-fashioned,
old heart.

If that beautiful old world
that was..

But this is just
an old love song.

The Head Division himself!

Scoundrel, he said!

- I told him to get out.
- Bravo!

- That's some satisfaction.
- Yep.

Use a typewriter, I? Never!
I threw him out of the door.

- You did well, but..
- Did you hear that?

There are people who rightly
appreciate your husband's behaviour!

She dared gratify me
with an epithet I shan't relate.

- What'd she say?
- I wouldn't want the kid to hear it.

She said "cretin". Oh, sorry gramps.

That's not your son,
that's my father.

But besides, that's a cinch! You've
got to hear what my wife says, at times!

Look who's talking!

- Excuse me, but what do you
make coffee with? - Why?

Because it tastes like coffee!

I was saying.. it's all right,

however, one thing
is the satisfaction,

the other, is the harm
you will undergo.

- Could you please repeat?
- You had your satisfaction.

- Yes. - But you'll
lose your job. You're screwed.

Mario!

- Let him speak. - Besides..
this thing of not liking the typewriter,

- I don't really understand it.
- Young man..

One sec. Weigh your words.
I too have my dignity.

You cannot despise so much a product
over which I've slaved so much.

Did you know that the double
colour ribbon, I applied it myself?

And what about the benefit of being
able to make two copies at once?

- Two copies?
- Three, four, five.

Yes, but it's still a machine!

Gentlemen!

- The Minister!
- This way.

Ready!

- Leave it.
- Sorry.

- Your Excellency.
- Dear Marsi, my dear Marsi..

- Do you know Sir Franquinet?
- Yes, Excellency.

I've had the honour.

- Sir Pancarano.
- Di Rond?.

Di Rond?, yes. His section will be
the first to employ the typewriters.

- Very well.
- And the official scriveners

- certified as typographers.
- Good day, boys.

Precious examples
of bureaucratic zeal, Excellency.

- If you will, Excellency, we move on.
- Let's move on.

- Then.. then, shall we uncover?
- Uncover.

Sorry.

Sorry, Pancarano.

Let them see.
Just a moment, Excellency.

- Prodigious! - Excellency,
the honour of typing the first letter.

- Certainly, with pleasure.
- Please.

- But if I knew which button to press..
- It doesn't matter, Excellency.

- It's purely symbolical.
- Symbolical..

Then, the letter..

- The letter "I". Italy.
- Good, General. Good!

- Where's the letter "I"?
- Here, Excellency.

- Voil?! - Uhm, to tell the truth,
that would be the "L", Excellency.

- Well..
- That's it! Same thing! Lombardia!

- Hooray for Lombardia!
- Hooray for the Minister!

And now, if you will, a little
display of typewriting abilities.

- Certainly. My pleasure.
- Sirs, I beg your pardon.

- What are you doing here?
- Yes. What are you doing here?

What does he want?

- Come forth.
- Thank you, Excellency.

Excellency. Sir Head Division,
I'd like to explain.

Remember that young mechanic,
that one evening,

At the Franquinet & co.
establishment..

I know it! You don't
want to type? Don't type!

- Doesn't matter. Now go.
- No, no. I want to type.

- I've got a family, you know.
- If he wants to type, let him type!

Oh, is that so, please,
have a seat.

Thanks.

Trumpets resound to the right!

A shrill answers from the left.

Both sides rumbling echo

with cavalry's
and infantrymen's charge.

Thence a standard
appears in the sky!

And another,
merciless, advances.

A legion appears in arms.

And another, forward,
to encounter them!

- Well done, De Tappetti!
- Bravo!

Nice! And you didn't
want him to try..

Well, Excellency, we had
prepared it as a surprise.

- He's our best typist.
- How'd he learn, with such mastery?

I was about to explain,
but they won't let me.

A young mechanic taught me,
who currently is my daughter's fianc?.

- Remember, Sir Head Division,
that one time.. - Pancarano!

- They won't let me say it. - Our dear
De Tappetti deserves recognition.

- A rise, even. Am I correct?
- Right. It should be done.

I'd already
taken care of it, Excellency!

Shall we go and celebrate with a glass
of champagne, Excellency? This way.

- For the best!
- This way, Excellency.

For the best.

- Amelia.
- Cesare!

- Any news? - No. Oh, yes!
This letter just came through.

Oh, open it.

It's from
the Heraldic Research Council.

Heavens!
I was waiting for it. Read it.

- I'm reading.
- I'm listening.

- Here..
- Read.

"Illustrious Sir Pancarano,
we inform you that,"

- "after more throughout investigation"
- Fussy, aren't they? They dig, and dig..

- "investigations to ascertain
your noble ancestry" - Of course.

- "it was discovered that the Bianca-
mano appellative" - Told you!

"was bestowed upon
your ancestor according

to the profession of
.. whitewasher"

- No!
- "We therefore suggest"

"you do not pursue
any further enquiries. "

No! No!

- Cesare! Are you ok?
- The salts..

- Mom!
- The salts!

- Mom!
- Geg?!

- We got married!
- Voil?!

- Good day. - Oh, what
a surprise, Sir. Mind if we sit?

Thanks.

Think, in a month we
will be married too.

- It's hot, isn't it?
- Quite.

- What if we took our jackets off?
- Won't they think we are too daring?

- We are civil servants, after all.
- And you also are a noble.

- Let's take it off, De Tappetti.
- Let's.

- I find you well.
- Who?

- You.
- Thanks.

- Yes, well, you..
- I..?

- You've grown well.

- I am pleased.
- Thanks.

That long sought rise..
it put me back on my feet.

- But I also know that you, then..
- Then?

I mean, you have got
the new rise.

- Oh, yes, yes. A little rise.
Did you read the papers? - No.

- So you didn't?
- No.

Here. Read it.

- The Miniserts' Council's decision.
- Ministers!

- Can't you read?
- I stand corrected.

The other time too,
pay attention when reading!

"Following prices
have been raised:

milk, sugar, bread,
methane and electricity"

"railroads and.. "

- Meaning, the 9 lire rise..
- Is like we'd gotten nothing at all.

- Dad, when is my birthday?
- Next year, son.

- Gimme a cent for hazelnuts!
- Hazelnuts aren't good for the health.

I'll give you a holy picture
instead, and you'll be good.

I'll give you St. Crispino.
Where'd it go?

I'll get it for you.

- It's in the inside pocket.
- Interior 1.

- Yes, staircase B. Always joking, this
De Tappetti. - I'll get it right away.

- Where was it?
- Inside the wallet.

- Inside the wall..
- Ouch!