Pirates Down the Street (2020) - full transcript

(wind whooshing)

(haunting music)

(adventurous music)

(ominous music)

- Betsy!

Betsy!

It's Cornelius.

- Again?

- Oh yeah. He just
doesn't know when to quit.

Excellent.

(cannon booming)



How's Billy?

(gentle lullaby music)

- Sleeping like an angel.

(man shouting)

- Then he needs to keep
his big fat trap shut!

- Blunderbuss! Surrender now!

Or I'll send you and your family
down to Davy Jones' locker!

- Arr!

(cannons booming)

You'll have to get your
cannon higher than that,

you old crow!

Did you hear that?

I really got him that time.

- [Parrot] Scalawag, scalawag.



- What a scalawag.

- Don't just shoot that. (squawking)

(suspenseful music)

(cannon booming)

- What do you have to
say to that, Cornelius?

- Still haven't answered me.

(cannon booming)

- Answered?

Now? I'm in the middle of a battle!

- You're always in the middle of a battle,

thanks to your antics.

- You used to love it.

But now we have Billy.
Did you forget about that?

- Ah, he doesn't mind any of this.

(cannon booming)

(Billy crying)

Filthy Cornelius.

Did that seasick, slimy
eel make you upset?

(cannon booming)
(parrot squawking)

- You can't feed the
baby and fight a battle.

You're so right.

(Billy crying)

Okay.

Okay.

- Gotta know when to quit, Hector.

- Take a mighty good look, lad.

This is the last you'll
see of that scurvy dog.

(somber music)

- Come back and face me, scurvy dog!

We're not finished yet!

Hear me, scurvy dog?

Even if I have to search
all of the seven seas!

I won't rest! I'll hunt you down!

Blunderbuss!

I will get you-

Know that you will never be safe!

You can sail to the
furthest ends of the Earth!

I will find you wherever you are!

(haunting music)

- Thanks a lot.

(thunder rumbling)

What?

- I, um, I.

We were just wondering if, did, uh,

anything fun happen today?

- Of course not. Here, in Sansborough?

Let me think. High tide twice.

Something else.

Oh yeah. A goose flew by

Nothing ever happens in this place.

That's why everybody always leaves.

- Oh, no, not everyone.

What about the Dudley
girl that lives next door?

- Elizabeth?

But she's a girl.

- So?

- Oh, you really don't get it.

- Have you heard from Martin at all?

- Nah.

- Ah. Oh well.

He's probably very busy.
(kettle whistling)

Hew home, new school, new friends.

What? What are you looking at?

Forget it.

- Cheer up.

You'll get new friends of your own,

but they won't come out
of thin air, you know?

- Nope. But they disappear like that.

(thunder rumbling)

(sentimental music)

(Michael gasping)

(thunder rumbling)

(ominous music)

(muffled voices shouting indistinctly)

(suspenseful music)

- Michael.

What would you like on
your sandwich this morning?

Michael?

(timbers creaking)

(haunting music)

(Michael gasping)

- Boo!

(Michael gasping)

- What's wrong?

Michael?

- Hey, what's the matter?

You look like you just
saw a ghost. (laughing)

- Not a ghost.

Some pirates, on the street.

- Uh, oh, that's nice.

Would you like peanut butter?

- Do you know you're
still in your pajamas?

- So what does that mean?

There's a pirate ship in the street.

- You'll have to get up earlier
to fool both of us, Michael.

Would you like some jam?

- Dad, come on.

- Okay, fine.

We'll go look together,

but I can guarantee you
that there are no...

Pirates.

- Ahoy, new neighbors.

That flag, it's mine.

- It's a pirate.

- I told you.

- [Yvonne] Robert, what's going on?

- It, uh, looks like we
have new neighbors, darling.

- Oh.
- They're pirates.

- Oh, don't start with that.

Are you gonna tell me what's going on?

- See them?

- Oh.

- Neighbor.

- Okay.

So we do have new neighbors,
and they're pirates.

So we should really go and welcome them.

Go change, Michael.

You really can't be out
here in your pajamas.

- They're pirates, so I
don't think they mind.

- Welcome, landlubbers.

Welcome.

I'm Captain Hector Blunderbuss.

Arr.

And this is Billy.

- Don't you think he looks friendly?

(man growling)
(crowd gasping)

- Come here, you.

Betsy Blunderbuss.

Nice to meet you.

The old man is hungry.

- Oh yeah.

She'll put them on the chain,
so he won't bite anyone.

- Forever?

- No, not forever.

Just until his cage is ready.

- Yeah.

There's something there in the water.

(ominous music)

(crowd gasping)

- And that's Roy.

(crowd gasping)

The best guard shark in
the Western Hemisphere.

Eastern, not so much.

- Cool.

- Guard shark?

- But you have to remember
to feed him on time.

Just like the old man.

- Yeah, and us too. Come on, Billy.

- [Old Man] Bunch of
eel-mongers. Cod-dealers.

- [Hector] You're right, Dad,

but it's impolite to say it aloud.

- And you said nothing happens here. Ha!

- Well?

- They're strange people.

- Pirates.

- Pirates?

(haunting music)

(wood creaking)

- Landlubber.

Landlubber.

Found you.

Ah, there you are.

Ah, nice plunderer's den, landlubber.

- My name's Michael.

Don't touch that.
- Huh?

What's inside of it?

Gold? Jewelry?

Useless.

Books.

- Comic books.

- Did you make this?

- Yeah, with Martin.

He made up the stories.

I drew the pictures.

- What happened?

Did he die?

Did he get keel-hauled?

Is he in prison?

- No. He just moved away, that's all.

- Like moving around is normal.

Is there anything to do in this town?

- No, nothing.

- I thought not. A shame.

But we'll be out of here in no time.

- In how long?

- You want to get rid of
us already, landlubber?

- No, of course not.

(gentle music)

Look, that's a pirate ship.

And this is the inside.

- That doesn't make any sense.

How'd you like to see what a
real pirate ship looks like?

Do you have the nerve?

Are you coming?

Or are you scared?

(ominous music)

- Billy?

(Michael gasping)

(bottles clinking)

(sniffing) Ugh.

(Billy gasping)

- Don't be a wimp.

- There's a slimy creature in there.

- Yeah.

That is Freddie, our pet octopus.

- My parents won't even
let me have a goldfish.

- They shouldn't. Goldfish are devious.

Really sneaky.

Freddie is much nicer.
Isn't that right, Freddie?

You'll find out.

- What about me, what about me?

- What's his name?

- He hasn't got one.

- Wrong! Parrot with no name!

- Hey.

- Huh?

Saltwater-slurper. Don't scare that boy.

He's clearly fragile.

Grandpa needs to be walked.

- Okay, but what if Cornelius shows up?

- This time, that slanted
scalawag won't find us.

Okay?

- [Parrot] Okay! (squawking)

- Yeah. Sure.

- Who is Cornelius anyway?

- That's him. Crooked Cornelius.

The arch-enemy of my parents.

They've been running from
him since I was a baby.

It's always the same.

Soon as Cornelius finds us,
my parents weigh anchor.

They're that scared of him.

- Aren't you?

- (laughing) A true
pirate is never scared.

If it was up to me,

we'd be putting out to see today

and show that seafoamer
every corner of the ocean.

Now your turn.

Sorry. If you can't swing,
you can't board ships.

- I don't want to board any ships.

- Too bad.

- Wait.

- Not bad.

For a landlubber.

(quirky music)

(Hector laughing)

(cannon booming)

- Hector.

What is this?

- Ah, neighbors.

Do you like our cannon?

- Why are you blasting a cannon off?

- It's an alarm clock.

Our parrot used to squawk us awake,

but we wanted something
that sounded more like home.

- Do not blast a cannon
off in the neighborhood.

- Oh.

- The whole neighborhood's awake.

- Isn't that what alarm clocks are for?

(lighthearted music)

- A cannon?

Almost two days,

and they already think
they own the neighborhood.

- Sit down and eat your breakfast.

Our culture is different.

They don't know our norms and our values.

- Someone should get
them up to speed then.

- You're right.

And that seems like
the perfect job for me.

- Hm?

- So why you?

- Why not?

I've got the time. The
choir is on vacation.

Next year's bake sale is already planned.

- They are ruffians.

- That's what my father called you,

with your upgraded scooter.

Vroom.

- A scooter?

- Oh yeah.

Your father was a real tough guy.

Used to be.

- Hmm.

(wood thudding)

- What's the plank for?

- Because then I don't have
to climb up the drain pipe.

- We do have a front door.

- Okay, here's what we'll do.

Treasure hunt, throwing
knives, distance spitting,

long distances, and rum-drinking.

- Rum-drinking?

- (laughing) He fell for
it. The little sea urchin.

Take it or leave it.
Otherwise I'll just go.

It's up to you.

- No, wait a sec.

So where do we start?

- Sword-fighting.

- Girl alert.

- [Billy] What do you want?

- To come and join you.

- Only if we need someone who can scream.

- Yeah. And who's really scared.

- And always needs to be saved.

Then come on over.

- Really?

- Sword-fighting's not for girls.

- Billy Blunderbuss.

Don't you dare.

So swords aren't for girls?

Ridiculous.

- Okay.

On three. One, two.

- That's not fair.

- First lesson. Pirates will cheat.

- Are you afraid to lose?

(wood clattering)

- First time doesn't count.

Let me try again.

- You're right.

Swords are truly a man's game.

Bye.

(energetic music)

- Hector.

- Mrs. Blunderbuss?

Do you have a minute?
I'd love to have a chat.

My name is Mrs. Dudley.

- Oh yeah.

With the scrawny guy
who keeps watching us.

- Pardon?

Huh?

Oh yeah. That's my husband.

Forgive his embarrassing gawking.

We just think it's important
for all the neighbors

to understand each other,
to get along together.

Sansborough is a quiet place.

We enjoy calm, cleanliness, and constancy.

- We really do understand you.

That's why we chose to
moor at this sand bar.

Like you, we love calm, cleanliness, and,

what was that last one again?

- Constancy.

- Yeah, constancy. That is a good one.

- Fine.

I also just thought I would tell you that-

- Before you embark, we're out of rum

and Grandpa gets grumpy when
he doesn't get breakfast.

- He has rum for breakfast?

- Yeah. He drinks rum all day.

That's why we're out of it.

I have an idea. You can
come for grub tonight.

Grub, chow, eats. It'll be fun.

- Uh.

- You're gonna eat anyway.

- I'm not so sure.

Um, okay. Why not?

- Now that's the spirit, but
I have to go to the market.

- Let's go together.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Betsy.

When I said before that we
should go to the market,

I didn't expect the entire
family to come along.

- That's how you walk an elderly man.

(energetic music)

- Creakin' kraken.

Look at this booty.

I thought we were going to the market.

- This is the market.

- Oh?
- Supermarket.

We may be a village, but
we have everything we need.

There's nothing you won't find in here.

- They have in here milk?

- They have skim milk,
low fat milk, whole milk,

pasteurized, lactose-free.

Am I going too fast for you?

The local brand straight
from Mrs. Davies' cows.

I wouldn't drink that.

- There's more than one milk?

- Landlubbers everywhere.

They've never seen
pirates grocery shopping?

- Got that right.

- Neighbor!

- Need any help?

- I need no man's help, my friend.

- What are you doing here?

- Shopping. With the pirates.

- She's coming on the
ship for dinner tonight.

- Really?

- You should come too.

If she tries anything
funny, you'll be backup.

- Soup, sauce.

Hey there, deck hand, move over.

(tense music)

- That's the manager.

He's the boss in this place.

- So he's the admiral?

- Yeah, sure. Why not?

- I suppose you'll think that pirates

are just here to plunder.

- Well, I-
- Don't lie.

I can read your mind, lad.

That's the cruel fate of a pirate.

That's why nobody trusts them.

But don't sweat.

Don't worry.

We've turned this ship around.

We no longer plunder.

(glass breaking)
(alarm sounding)

- Plunder!
- Dad! No!

Dad, come back!

(Grandpa cackling)

(energetic music)

- Uh, Betsy?

How are you gonna pay for all this?

- Look, I told you.

Plundering is awesome,

but we're not doing that now.
- Hector. Doubloons, please.

- Croaking catfish.

My doubloons!

- It's okay if you don't have any money.

Times have been tough.

We've all felt the impact ourselves.

That's what welfare-

- Quit your blabbering, wench!

Ha, we're drowning in riches.

We've just decided to come up for air.

- Oh yeah.

I'll cover this for you. No worries.

- Why, you're as sweet as cooked dolphin.

- Broke, she says!

Her manners are broke.

I've never been so insulted in my life.

Look!

Look at this.

Our treasure chest, chock
full of golden silver.

- But why don't you put it in the bank?

- Bank?

It's fine here.

We have a bank out front.

- Not the bank of the moat.

I mean a building where they
put your money in a safe.

- And then? If I want it back?

- Then you just go to the bank

and they get the money out of the safe.

- Hmm. Sounds like a hassle.

- At least it's secure.

- Like it's not in here?

Need I mention the moat?

And of course, now watch this.

(Grandpa shouting)

- Thieves!

- At ease, Dad.

Everything's fine.

You see now?

What better protection
than a deranged old man

with a deadly weapon?

What do you think?

- I think you don't care
what we think, do you now.

- Right. Do I look scared to you?

- She's not as scary as she seems.

You don't need to be afraid of her.

- What?

Afraid? You think I'm afraid?

- I'm not saying that.

- [Parrot] Yes he is, tell him!

- My parents tell me you
should always be yourself.

- Great advice, if you're not a pirate.

Where's your fellow?

- He had another commitment.
I brought you a gift.

It's a vase.

- Hey Billy, look at this thing.

Now we don't have to spit
on the floor anymore.

- It's a vase.
- What?

- Where you put flowers.

- Yeah, yeah. It'll work for that.

So, won't you come in?

- So this must be strange for you

to be in a completely different
world, nothing familiar.

- Oh, it's not the
strangest thing we've seen.

- I'm sure you're right.

For us in the neighborhood,
it's very strange.

That's why we need to commit
to setting some boundaries.

- I fully understand, my lady.

I couldn't agree more, and-

(door creaking)

- [Betsy] Get it while it's nice and cold.

- Oh, I'm so curious. What did you make?

It looks so interesting.

What is it?

- Pudding.

- Is that the dinner?

- You always have to start
with dessert first thing,

because it's the best of the meal.

- Are we gonna do that from now on?

- No, in our house we do things
the proper way, of course.

(upbeat music)

- Now for vegetables.

To prevent scurvy.

- Yuck, sprouts.

(Hector belching)

(Billy belching)

- Boys, don't be rude.
We have guests tonight.

- Thanks, Betsy.

- You go first.

- What, me?

- You heard Betsy.

That is our culture. Couture.

(Mrs. Dudley belching)

- Oh, not bad for a beginner.

(Elizabeth belching)

- Elizabeth!

- What? I'm just being
open to their culture.

- I'm sorry to tell you,
but culture is not belching.

Culture is made up of
societal norms and values.

- Values like belching and sword-fighting.

And of course, impressive gun-twirling.

(gun firing)

(bullet ricocheting)

(perilous music)

- My love. What is it?

Was it that bad?

- It was worse.

You can't teach those ruffians anything.

We have to get them out of here.

- Now why doesn't that surprise me?

But it'll all be fine, darling.

I've been busy this evening myself.

- What is that?

- This is going in
everyone's mailbox tomorrow.

(lively music)

♪ It was like a dream sitting
underneath the trees ♪

♪ You were lying next
to me, we were free ♪

♪ Feels like yesterday that
I found you in the haze ♪

♪ We were standing face
to face, wide awake ♪

♪ We don't always win ♪

♪ It takes a long time to begin ♪

♪ And we're not good at giving in ♪

♪ That's how it goes ♪

♪ We're not listening ♪

♪ To all the noise that's pushing in ♪

♪ 'Cause we're not good at giving in ♪

♪ That's how it goes ♪

♪ We all have doubts but I know ♪

♪ It's not what we're all about ♪

- You should be looking up there.

♪ So take a breath I'm here with you ♪

- Whatever. But it's not here.

♪ When it goes loud I hear your voice ♪

♪ It's calling through the crowd ♪

♪ So take a breath, I'm here with you ♪

- What does she know?

- By the way, you guys,

up there is where I found
this treasure chest.

♪ We're not listening ♪

♪ To all the noise that's pushing in ♪

♪ 'Cause we're not good at giving in ♪

♪ That's how it goes ♪

(upbeat music)

- "For all who care about

keeping the peace and
quiet in Sansborough,

we feel that it is of
the utmost importance

that our new neighbors know their place."

- "And that place, as
far as we're concerned,

is somewhere else.

That's why the Committee to Get Rid of

the Pirates in Sansborough,"
very creative name, by the way,

"is holding a meeting in the
Cockle Community Center."

Dudley just wants to get rid of them.

- Hey mates. I'll have a cola.

- So. How was it?

- Awesome, Dad.

Billy taught me knot-tying.

- Oh, that's useful.

- Mm-hm. And I'm getting
better at sword-fighting.

Mom, Mrs. Blunderbuss
can spit five meters.

- Oh. I didn't know that.

- How far can you spit, honey?

- The landlubber from next door

has been putting this all
over the neighborhood.

- Mr. Dudley?

Yeah. He gave it to everyone but to us.

He thought I didn't see, but
I watched his every move.

Go on, read it.

- What does it say?

- Just read it.

- You don't read?

- Yes, I do.

- Read it.

- What for?

I already know what it says.

And, uh, it's way too dark in here.

Will you just read it?

(suspenseful music)

They want to get rid of us.

- That's not what it says at all.

In fact, it says "Dear neighbor,

we're organizing a get-together."

- A get-together?

- Yeah. Mr. Dudley is organizing
a surprise party for you.

A party?

- To welcome you to town.

- Ah.

That's why that freshwater
mackerel was so sneaky.

- Yeah.

- I guess reading is useful.

- [Michael] I could teach you.

- What?

- Reading. 'Cause you taught me to, um.

- To not be such a wimp?

That's a fair trade.

- Pirates aren't fair, right?

Lesson one.

- Only fair to their friends.

♪ We sailed along the seven seas ♪

♪ That was our humble abode ♪

♪ And as we sailed we looked to plunder ♪

♪ Heaps of silver and gold ♪

Billy!

♪ Years of humble navigation
made us sheathe our nasty sword ♪

♪ Because of previous reputation,
they tossed us overboard ♪

♪ Yo ho ho, ee oh, ee oh ♪

♪ Oh ee oh, oh oh oh ee oh ♪

♪ Yes, a pirate is a threat ♪

♪ Oh ee oh, oh oh oh ee oh ♪

♪ Yes, a pirate is a threat ♪

- You bet!

♪ Oh ee oh, yo ho ho ee oh ♪

♪ Yes, a pirate is a threat ♪

♪ Oh ee oh, yo ho ho ee oh ♪

♪ On a pirate you can bet ♪

♪ Oh ee oh, yo ho ho ee oh ♪

♪ On a pirate you can bet ♪

♪ Oh ee oh, yo ee oh ee oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh ee oh ee oh ♪

♪ Oh ee oh ♪

(ominous music)

- Hector, huh?

Found a new hiding spot? (laughing)

Sansborough. (laughing)

I'm coming to get you
filthy, mangy sea dogs!

(thunder rumbling)

- I get that you're mad
at the pirates. Fine.

But what I don't get is why
we're discussing it in a meeting

that includes everybody
in town except them.

- You could have at
least invited them over

and given them a proper welcome.

I tried giving them a
welcoming, but they're,

you know I tried so hard, but now-

(footsteps thumping)

They're here.

- So this is where you are.

(crowd gasping)

- Mr. and Mrs. Blunderbuss.

We were just, uh, thinking
about the two of you.

- I know exactly what you're doing,

and I think it's awfully...

Awfully great.

You're organizing a
welcome gathering here.

- What?
- Yeah, I know.

But it's supposed to be
a surprise, of course.

Well, we're incredibly surprised.

In fact, we're happy that
after all these years

we finally found a good
place where they see pirates

as people and not as we're normally seen.

Fortune-hunters.

I found my treasure a long time ago.

- Hector.

(sensual music)

- Hooray!

- Unlike most people, you haven't
chased us out of town yet.

And that's amazing.

On Friday we're hosting a party,

a pirate party on the beach.

- And everybody is welcome.

- "My First Reading Book".

- I got it from the library.

- You steal it?

- No, of course not.

I borrowed it.

- Yeah, that's what we
pirates call it too. Borrowed.

And then this is for you.

(soft music)

(Michael laughing)

A spyglass is a pirate's
prized possession.

- What about your compass?

- Yeah, that too.

- And your sword? That was
the most important, you said.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But a spyglass for all pirates is sacred.

But if you whine about
it, you can't have it.

What is this?

- A new comic. "The
Pirates Down The Street".

- What's it about?

- I don't know just yet.

Martin's the one who writes it

- But you've got me now.

Okay. Write this down.

We were gently sailing
towards the Bermuda Triangle

when suddenly a storm blew in.

Sadly, we had no idea

what fate had in store for us that day.

(ominous music)

- [Cornelius] I know you
have a pirate problem.

If you want to get rid of
the Blunderbuss family,

come to the dunes at midnight.

(bell tolling)

You're the landlubber
with the pirate problem?

- Yes.

- As the mightiest pirate
hunter of the seven seas,

I might just be able to
assist you with that.

- I'm very appreciative of
your arrival, truly I am,

but I'm afraid that I have no need

for your services right now.

I'm currently in a very
advanced stage of surveys,

public inquiries, then
there's the bilateral.

- Listen to me. I don't understand.

And if I don't understand,
the Blunderbusses,

well, there's no chance they'll
begin to understand either.

But this is a language they understand.

- What do you mean?

- I don't think you need any
further explanation, do you?

- Yeah. I mean, I do understand you, yes.

I don't need to know any more
about it or about you, sir.

- Shut up, you chattery cockle!

I've got a plan and you'll
do precisely what I say.

You're going to the party.

Make sure everyone comes with you.

- Thanks for all the
help you're giving us.

- Don't worry, Betsy. They're gonna come.

- That's not what we're used to.

Wherever we moor,

people are always keeping
a watchful eye on us.

- I see.

- What we're more accustomed
to is outcries, protests.

Banners that say "Get rid of the pirates."

No welcome parties.

- Luckily here in
Sansborough, we're very...

Different.

- Something wrong, Yvonne?

- No one's gonna eat these.

- They're not for the barbecue.

(Yvonne laughing)

This is how you eat them. Try one.

- Mm-hm. This is so good.

- I thought they'd lose
their flavor after Grandpa

tried to clean them using his britches.

That bodes mighty well for this meal

we just caught fresh from the sea.

- Creakin' kraken!

Hector!

(adventurous music)

- Ah, neighbors! It's
good to see you, mate.

Before, I thought you
were a miserable mackerel,

but now I see you're a tender tuna!

- Thank you.

- Here. We have to drink to that.

The old man is so predictable.

That was just water.
Here's the real stuff.

(laughing) Cheers.

(upbeat music)

- What are you doing here?

- It said everyone was welcome.

- But you guys want to get rid of him.

- Whoa. Who's you guys?

- Well, you know. Your father.

- Yeah. My father isn't me.

Did you think he was?

- Well, no.

- Do you always agree with your parents?

- No, I don't.

But that's the only because-

- There you have it.

(energetic music)

- Just like in the old days, remember?

(ominous music)

- Goodnight, neighbor!
- We had a great time!

Woo-hoo!

- [Hector] What a party.

- Was that door open the whole time?

What happened here?

- [Both] The treasure chest!

- It's gone.

(Hector knocking)

Neighbor!

Open up, neighbor!

Draw your sword. We have to
go and catch the filthy rat.

- Hector, Hector, what is it?

- They pilfered my treasure chest.

Come on. We have to go and find them.

- Okay. I'll call the police about it.

- The police?

Why would they steal my treasure chest?

- No, that's how we do things here.

When someone steals something,

we call the police and they
track down the culprit.

- Really?

- Uh-huh.

- Hm.

What strange concept.

(somber music)

- Light the homebrew! I smell bacon!

- I would say they used
brute force to get in here.

All kinds of forced entry.

- No, no, no.

This isn't from burglars breaking in.

My dad gets clumsy with his sword.

- Sword?
- Uh-huh.

- Huh.

- And this?

- Ah, that's from the
old man's wooden leg.

- No bootleg rum here! (squawking)

- Huh.

- Target practice.

- Shooting? Oh.

- Are you guys out of money?

- Everything was in that chest.

- And now?

- I don't know.

Back to sea?

- Well, who will teach you how to read?

Your grandpa?

You were right after all.

You won't be here long.

- Yep.

(suspenseful music)

- No, this one.

I knew I still had them somewhere.

- Hector!

What is this?

- Without money to keep afloat,

we can't stay any longer, so.

- So what?

- Pillage and plunder!
- Oh, no, no.

No more pillaging and plundering.

Think of Billy.

- Yeah, I got him a sword.

- We were supposed to be making
a new, more honest living.

- Yeah, we tried.

But then we were robbed of
our treasure. What do we do?

- So? Michael's dad doesn't
plunder any ships, does he?

Right?

- No way. He has a job.

Just part-time. My mom too.

- That's it. We'll just
have to go and look for-

(ominous music)

A job.

- I'm sorry. There's nothing
we can do for you two.

- Nothing at all?

- Generally, there really
aren't all that many, um,

job openings for people with
your particular job history.

- Huh?

- No one is looking to hire people who

go looking for treasures.

Board ships, knife-fight,
plunder, pistol-fight.

- I know how to sword-fight!

An important skill.

- No.

But isn't there anything else you can do?

That you've got references for?

Papers from universities?

- Some papers?

We have paper treasure maps.

- Yeah.

- (laughing) Yeah, no diploma.

I meant that kind of certificate.

Um, without prior experience,

it helps to have a diploma
to be able to work.

No diploma, ain't nothing.

(wistful music)

- And you're sure that they
don't mind that we're, uh,

that we're pirates?

- No, they think it's fantastic.

It's ideal. You don't need papers.

No diplomas. Just be yourself.

(Grandpa growling)

- Just being myself should be easy enough.

I'm sure I could do it.

Ahoy there, children.

My name is Hector Blunderbuss.

Dig for buried treasures,
build some ships,

and get a few tattoos for yourselves.

- [All] Yay!

- No, no no. We're not doing that.

We talked about this, Selina.

On this paper are some
suggested activities.

If you need me, I'll be next
door with the other mothers,

having a quiet cup of tea.

- Like I don't know how
to throw a pirate party.

Come on, and grab your swords!

Come aboard my ship if you dare,

you freshwater sea slug scalawags!

- We don't have swords.
My mother forbids them.

- You've no swords?

- R-r-r-rum.

(girls giggling)

- It's so brave of you to let
those pirates into your home.

- Yeah, the Bridgman boy told
me that they want to work

and make an honest living now.

And I feel it's right to support that.

- They're very noble.

- They may be different,

but that doesn't make them less worthy.

(glass breaking)

(girls giggling)

- This isn't what we agreed!

Your promised that the pirates
you brought would be nice.

I didn't want any of this wild stuff.

- What are you worried
about? They're having fun.

- Let me be perfectly clear.

I want you to stick to these
activities, or so help me,

you can just leave, without your pay.

And you make sure they behave.

- This ain't good.

Trussed-up dreadnought. Let's go.

- Billy, I promised her.

- Listen, I do not care.

She disrespected the captain.

She's on her own with her childish party.

Right, Captain?

- No party, no pay.

- [Hector] Ha ha! At
last, I found my treasure.

- [Billy] Are we gonna cross
swords, Captain Fluffbeard?

- [Hector] No, of course not,

because we're the very best of friends

and friends always share
everything equally.

- That's how Captain Fluffbeard
not only found his treasure,

but also three new bestest friends.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

- Well, what did you think
of that, you bunch of...

They're all gone.

- Why are you here?

Where is Selina?

- Who?

- What?

Yeah, it was on your list, madam.

A scavenger hunt.

- But not for my own child.

(girls shouting)

- Maybe over there.

(lively music)

(screaming)

- [Grandpa] Keep digging!

And there!

- Look, Mom, a treasure!

- That's my jewelry!

- Gimme that!

- Stop him, stop him!

Selina, Selina!

(siren blaring)

- And don't do that again. Okay?

- Michael.

Are you all right?

Honey, what happened?

- Hector.

- Come on inside.

- What a pity.

I'm afraid we may have to
look for new neighbors soon.

- Well, hopefully they'll be perfect.

- Well, they couldn't be any worse.

(ominous music)

- Ahoy, Billy.

- Cornelius?

- The one and only, at your service,

I'm not here to fight with you.

- What do you mean? You're our arch-enemy.

- Enemy, friend, fiend, pal.

There's not much difference.

Good enemies are like good
friends. Hard to find.

Your parents are the best
arch-enemies I've ever had.

To tell you the truth, I miss them.

I can't wait til you put to
sea and put up a fight again.

Like we used to in the
old days, as true pirates.

- That'll be a long wait.

My parents want to stay here, forever.

- Really, forever?

On land?

I get sick just being
on land for two hours.

How do you manage that?

- They think this way is better.

- And what do you want?

- I don't think these
landlubbers are too bad.

And I have a friend, Michael.

I'm teaching him how to be a pirate.

He's teaching me how to read.

- So you want to stay here as well?

I couldn't turn my back on
the sea like your parents.

But you are learning to read.

In that case, I have something for you.

Read it.

Then you'll know how welcome
you really are in Sansborough.

(somber music)

- Pirates don't say sorry.

It was your stupid idea.

- It wasn't stupid.

You didn't have to go
and act like pirates.

- But we are pirates.

What did you expect?

- Maybe that you'd be happy that I'm here

and that I want to help,

or that for once you'd behave decently.

- No way.

Why? So we would know our place?

- What do you mean by that?

- "And that's why it's
of the utmost importance

that our new n-n-nay, nay-"

- It's neighbors.

- "That our new neighbors
know their place."

- Give me that.

- "And that place, as
far as we're concerned,

is somewhere else."

- Where'd you find that?

- Who cares?

Why didn't you say anything?

Why didn't you tell me the truth?

- What, that everybody hates you?

- You should've told me.

- I was only trying to help you.

- You're only trying to help yourself.

You don't want a real friend.

You just want a pet.

A pet who can do tricks,
like sit and be good.

Is that why Martin left?

- Get lost.

Dumb pirate!

- Wimpy landlubber!

(somber music)

- Hey, what's wrong?

Your mom and I were thinking we-

(wood splashing)

- I've got no idea what to do.

I just know that we need money fast,

or else for sure we'll be
floating dead in the water.

- Does that really have
to be heard by Billy?

- What's that?

That we don't have any money?

Or that no one will give us a job?

Like I don't know that.

Why not pack it in and give it up?

- Because we're the Blunderbuss tribe.

Of course it'll work out.

As usual, we just need to step up

and put our best foot forward.

- If people see that we
mean well, then I think-

- How can you both be so dumb?

It doesn't matter what we do.

They don't trust us.

Not the Dudleys, not Michael's parents.

Not even stupid Michael himself.

As far as they're concerned,

a pirate will never be
able to live anything

but the life of a pirate.

So we might as well just act like it.

- We won't.

- Those days are long gone.

- For you, maybe.

(ominous music)

♪ There's a secret waiting
on the other side ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

♪ Now the time has come to
swallow that foolish pride ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

♪ If you'll join me, we'll be
swimming with a different tide ♪

♪ Hold on, hold on ♪

♪ Little riddles are
solved by the seeker ♪

♪ Whose journey is not gonna stop ♪

♪ Just wait for me, stalking the shadow ♪

♪ Always ready to back you up ♪

♪ There's a hidden truth to be treasured ♪

♪ If you're willing to go back in time ♪

♪ You can dig up the truth, believe me ♪

♪ Let's leave all this crowd behind ♪

♪ There's a secret waiting
on the other side ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

♪ Now it's time for you to
swallow that foolish pride ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

♪ If you'll join me, we'll be
swimming with a different tide ♪

♪ Hold on, hold on ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

- Billy?

- I'm a pirate.

And you knew that.

- No. Pirates have honor.

You're just a common thief.

And a traitor.

- You don't understand.

- I don't have to understand nothing.

Go ahead, take it.

And I never want to see you again.

♪ Hold on, hold on ♪

(suspenseful music)

(ominous music)

- Billy, Billy, Billy.

This is beyond my wildest expectations.

You scaly snakefish.

Your parents must be
rather proud of you, right?

- They don't know.

They don't do this anymore.

- What?

They don't want to be pirates?

Preposterous. Being a pirate
is in your blood, son.

If you were actually my
son, I'd have no doubts.

We'd sail across the seven seas,

pillaging, plundering,

living the pirate life.

- Then why don't we?

So I could come aboard your
ship as your first mate.

- You could.

But what about your parents
and that friend of yours?

- I have no friends.

- You do now.

Come.

(ominous music)

- Deck-scrubber's been hiding
in this room all night.

What do you think I should do, Dad?

- Maybe talk to him?

- Well, yeah, I suppose I could do that.

Or just let him stew in his own juices.

(Grandpa mumbling)

Huh?

- Rum.

- I think you're right.

Yeah. I shouldn't be so stubborn.

(suspenseful music)

(Hector knocking)

Billy, Billy. Open the door.

Billy?

Billy!

- Well?

(Hector knocking)

- Neighbor!

Neighbor, open the door!

- Hector?

Has something else been stolen?

- No, Billy is gone.

- Gone?

- Maybe Michael knows something.

- Come, come, come.

- What is it?

- Elizabeth.

She's gone.

- What?

- Michael's gone too.

- Huh?

(owl hooting)

- Here we are.

- But I thought we were leaving.

- Of course we are.

But first, this.

I'll go and ready the boat.

You stay and dig.

- Dig for what?

- You know we're pirates.

What do you think?

Dig.

- Billy.

- What are you doing here? Go home.

- Isn't that the guy from
the painting on your ship?

- Cornelius? Yeah.

- Crooked Cornelius?

Your arch-enemy?

- Parents' enemy. Not mine.

In fact, I'm going with him
to conquer the seven seas.

- Huh?

- I'm sick of playing
pirate instead of being one.

Unlike you, he understands me.

(Cornelius growling)

- Tie him up with this. He's
not going anywhere, landlubber.

(chuckling) Come on.

- What are you doing?

- Come on, Dad. Find Billy.

(Grandpa sniffing)

(suspenseful music)

- I don't get it.

How come?

- Why do you care?

Remember, you said you never
wanted to see me again.

So now you got it.

- I'm sorry.

Just come home.

- Make that freshwater mussel shut up

or I'll have to silence him my way.

- For your own good, just be quiet.

- Keep digging.

- [Mrs. Dudley] Elizabeth!
- [Mr. Dudley] Elizabeth!

- [Betsy] Billy!
- [Yvonne] Michael!

- [Betsy] Billy!

- But this is-

- Your own treasure chest. (chuckling)

And the first pirate's
loot you can call your own.

(somber music)

Are we getting second thoughts now?

- Why would I?

My parents wanted a job.

And now they'll need one.

That's the spirit.

The tide's turning. Time to say goodbye.

Let's go.

Billy.
- Hm?

- Don't do it! Billy!

Billy!

Billy!

(somber music)

What are you doing here?

- Want me to bounce?

- No, don't go. Untie me.

- Girls are only good at screaming,

or they need to be saved.

- I'm sorry.

- I saw everything.

Is he really gonna go with that creep?

- It's all my fault.

I have to fix this.

- Your fault? You made him to do this?

- No.

- So why is it your fault?
This is what he wants.

Come on.

Just let him be.

- No.

(suspenseful music)

- At long last!

The sea calls, Billy.

Don't make her wait.

Speed it up.

- [Michael] Billy!

- Bloody barnacles.

- Leave them to me.

- What do you want?

- What I want is my friend back.

But if you really want
to leave, just leave.

But take this with you.

The most prized possession of a pirate.

- Oh, you're making me cry.

Billy's made his choice.

The lad's coming with me.

Go and tell his parents,

so those freshwater mussels
can come try to save him.

- What? I don't need to be saved.

- But your parents don't know that.

That chest is not their greatest treasure.

It's you, my fine lad.

And they'll do anything in the world

to get you away from me.

Oh, it'll be a beautiful battle.

- But you, you said, you promised-

- You don't really
believe this is about you?

And you. Both of you.

Get out of here.

What did I tell you?

Get out of here before I- (grunting)

- You dumb pirate.

- Stupid landlubber.

- Come on. We gotta go.

- Not without the treasure chest.

(soft music)

(ominous music)

Dad, Mom.

I'm home.

And I have the treasure chest.

Grandpa?

Grandpa. I have some rum. (whistling)

Do you know where they are?

- I'm right here, thanks
for asking. (squawking)

- I'll look upstairs.

Dad?

Mom?

Grandpa?

(suspenseful music)

(Billy shouting)

- If you want to get rid of me, Billy,

you're gonna have to hit harder than that.

Pathetic deck-scrubber.

- The chest.

Where's the treasure chest?

No?

Then I'll find it myself.

(Billy groaning)

(suspenseful music)

- (squawking) I know
that ugly mug! Ugly mug!

- Yeah, like you're such a prize.

Stupid parrot.

Gunpowder.

That's what I need right now.

It's going to get much louder.

The bang of exploding powder.

It's going to get much louder. The bang.

(Billy groaning)

The bursting and cracking,
hungry sharks will be snacking.

The bang of exploding
gunpowder. (chuckling)

Boom, boom, boom, boom.

The bang of exploding gunpowder.

- Not yours, not yours!

- You keep your trap shut.

- Why's that?

- Because I say so.

- Why's that, why's that?

- Here's why.

- (squawking) That's why.

(adventurous music)

- [Mrs. Dudley] Elizabeth!

- [Betsy] Billy!

- [Yvonne] Michael!

- [Hector] Where could
these kids have gone?

- Elizabeth!

- Hey, don't worry. The
deck-scrubbers can't be far.

- I'm just so worried about my daughter.

- I just wanted a peaceful neighborhood.

- What are you talking about?

- Oh yeah? What do you mean by that?

- I'm so sorry.

- Neighbor.

- I was afraid that he'd kill me

if I didn't do what he asked me to do.

He's very mean.

I wanted to change course,

but then I had to back the sails.

I don't necessarily know what that means.

He said we had to right the ship.

- What is with this sailor?

Is he three sheets to the wind?

I don't get him.

(explosion booming)
(crowd gasping)

- That's our cannon.

- We have to go back.

It might be a signal from Billy

- What'd you just do there, Billy?

Fire a warning shot?

- (laughing) I'd make a
run for it if I were you.

They're coming.

- Not without my treasure.

- The treasure chest stays here.

- What do you think you're gonna do?

Beat me in a sword-fight? On your own?

- He's not alone.

- I see, three against one. Not fair.

- Lesson one. Pirates don't fight fair.

- But you...

Are match for me.

(ominous music)

(adventurous music)

- Not bad for a freshwater mussel, eh?

- That's one away.

Is that all you got?

Why don't you just give up, Billy?

- There they are!

- You can't win!
- Can too!

(Michael shouting)

Are you all right?

- I guess I'm just not
a great pirate, then.

- But you sure are a great friend.

- My chest. I want my treasure chest.

- Oh, so you want your chest?

You can have it.

(Cornelius shouting)

(Cornelius shouting)

- Oh yeah.

- Time to leave, Cornelius.

- They're the ones who
wanted to get rid of you.

It was his idea.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know that.

And he's already apologized

in his own very sad and unique way.

- You said there wasn't any
room for pirates around here.

- There's room for
pirates, just not for you.

- (snapping) Sic 'em, Roy.

- No no no no no no no! Hector, no!

Hector, no! No!

- (laughing) Nice sea legs, Cornelius.

(Roy burping)

- Well done, laddie.

- Michael.

- All right, all right.

(Michael and Billy laughing)

- I was so afraid that he
was really gonna blow your...

Gunpowder!

- Gunpowder?

What are you saying?

- No, don't go.

Everybody, run away!

(ominous music)

(explosion booming)

(guitar splashing)

- I told you she was a
sturdy one. (laughing)

What else have you got, eel-monger?

You didn't really think that...

(wood creaking)

(Cornelius laughing)

(wood creaking)

(somber music)

Our ship was left high and dry.

- Looks like we're dead in the water.

- What do you do now?

Go back to sea?

- What other option is there?

- Freddie!

At least you're all right.

- Dad, look.

- Crackin' codfish! My chest!

Didn't I tell you my
doubloons were safe here?

- [Parrot] But you're not!

(crowd laughing)

- So now you can stay.

I mean, you already
built a ship here once,

so you could do it again, right?

- And this time we're gonna help you.

Son?

Cool?
- Yeah.

(lively music)

- All hands on deck!

Rum!

- Watch out, watch out! (squawking)

(all cheering)

- And so peace was restored to Sansborough

thanks to the heroic Billy Blunderbuss

with help from his friend
Michael and Elizabeth.

- What? You mean thanks to the
tough hero Michael Bridgman.

- And the extremely
brave Elizabeth Dudley.

- And the parrot with no name.

- You watch it.

You want to go overboard?

- You don't want me to put you
overboard, Billy Blunderbuss.

Now go and feed Roy.

- Okay.

Hey Roy, catch.

- (squawking) Showoff.

(lively music)

(man singing in foreign language)

(adventurous music)