Pensando a te (1969) - full transcript
An Italian singer and his manager are preparing a tour in the States and are studying English. They both fall in love with their teacher.
It's crazy. Absolutely unbelievable.
They wait in line for hours for a song
and nobody gets sunstroke.
FUNERAL HOME
-Life is great, isn't it?
-Better than an ugly death.
Who says it has to be ugly?
I wish everyone a serene death,
without suffering, with religious support
and their family to comfort them.
Don't bring bad luck.
I was right to fill the store
with horns, hunchbacks,
and four-leaf clovers.
You need to remove them!
This is unfair competition.
-I won't remove them.
-People line up outside your place.
-Nobody comes to mine.
-You want a line for your coffins?
I wish. It's all I ask for.
Half would be enough.
Get out. Vulture! Hyena! Jackal!
Horns to you. Double horns.
I'd marry his widow with all the orphans
to get rid of that man.
RADIO - TV - RECORDS
-Excuse me!
-Where are you going?
Excuse me. I'd like to go inside.
-Want to cut in front of everyone?
-I own the store.
-Get in line.
-I own the store.
-And I'm Little Red Riding Hood.
-Very funny.
-That old man is shrewd!
-Are you talking to me?
Tilde! Giuliana!
They won't let me through.
-Let me by.
-Relax, old man.
-Make way. Excuse me.
-They won't let me in.
-Make way!
-Officer Filini, tell them who I am.
They don't believe I'm the owner.
These people don't believe what you say?
It's simple! First of all, we have to
make a speech to clear things up.
This gentleman could have taken
advantage of his position,
-but with a democratic spirit--
-I'll get sunstroke!
Just tell them I own the store.
-He is the owner.
-Thank goodness. Excuse me.
I was explaining it so well.
Excuse me. You should keep order
outside instead of inside.
-Excuse me.
-It's better inside.
It'll give the impression
I'm more efficient.
You come in
because the salesgirl is your girlfriend.
My intentions with Giuliana are serious.
Are they?
-I love her very much.
-Love her less and work more.
-I don't know if that's possible.
-Love, I'm back. What is it?
I was late because when you are
the agent of a great singer like Carlo,
time flies. Everyone calls me.
Appointments with record companies,
recordings. It's so tiring.
-I work hard too.
-Sure. With this line of people.
But don't frown.
Smile for the customers.
-What? I've been here since 8:00.
-Today is a successful day.
And also our wedding anniversary.
I forgot.
That's why you were angry. Forgive me.
Forgive me, my love.
You can kiss later on.
Sorry, but it's our wedding anniversary.
-Silver anniversary.
-Aluminum foil. We're newlyweds.
-It doesn't look like it.
-What are you saying?
Carlo Albani is here!
-An autograph!
-Albani is here!
Make way!
-I am a policeman. Let me through.
-An autograph.
Don't push! Where are your manners?
They'll destroy the policeman too.
Why are you here?
I want to invite you and Tilde
to celebrate
our wedding anniversary at my house.
You're right.
We got married together
and we will celebrate together.
-See you tonight.
-Yes, tonight. Bye.
Don't push!
Let him leave!
I want to stay!
Look.
How lovely. The teachers
and students united in marriage,
the same day in the same church.
Are you crying?
I get emotional at weddings,
especially mine. I'd lost hope.
I'm photogenic, right?
Yes, you come out well.
Will you become an actor?
First, a physics teacher,
then a store owner,
and now, my son-in-law's agent.
Agent and talent scout.
I discovered Carlo.
We'll record in every language.
It seems like yesterday.
Too bad. No more.
It's nice to relive those moments again.
-I am so happy.
-Me too. We made a good choice.
Two custom-made husbands.
This morning at the store,
there was a long line
waiting to buy Carlo's records.
My compliments.
And especially to you, Carlo.
-Mr. Puglisi gets all the credit.
-No, your voice does.
-You're a successful singer now.
-But not an engineer!
If things don't go well,
you'll give me that job in your factory.
-It's what I've always wanted.
-What's with all this sorrow?
On to Carlos' big tour
in the United States.
It's my tour too,
because I'm going with him.
Remember that English lessons
are starting tomorrow.
In fact, you don't know
how much that bothers me.
I'm a former high school teacher
and I have to sit at a student's desk.
Don't exaggerate. You're not going
to a school for illiterates!
It bothers me anyway.
I made everyone obey, even them.
Why don't you get a private teacher?
No, I can't stand private teachers.
You can't study at home.
Tomorrow we'll go to the Shelley School.
I'll get your lunch ready
with an omelet and an apple.
To your health!
This form isn't used today.
It's been replaced by "you".
May I?
-You can go.
-Where?
I don't know.
Excuse me.
An extra finger was up.
May I ask,
why don’t they remove the "thou"?
-It's part of the grammar.
-I see.
England is conservative,
it keeps things that aren't necessary.
Your spirit does not enrich the lesson.
I ask you to be quiet and pay attention.
Sorry. I won't do it again.
You're not funny. We're here to study.
The first of the class has spoken.
Will Mom take you out tonight?
Please, let's continue with the lesson.
I don't like him.
"Esso" or "essa."
"Noi."
"Voi."
"Loro, essi."
Let's repeat that.
-Do you feel sick?
-Teacher!
-Someone is throwing balls at me.
-Who is doing that?
-Don't joke around.
-I swear! They threw them at me.
Please! You've turned into
kids again at these desks!
-Are you talking to me?
-No, to everyone.
No. You're only looking at me. I'm sorry.
I am a serious person. I am an agent.
I'm studying English
because I'm going to the U.S.
-to do business with Americans.
-I don't doubt that.
I hope that these things aren't repeated.
The lesson is over.
See you tomorrow.
-Goodbye.
-Good evening.
"Mr. Puglisi, electric appliances."
What a woman, that English teacher.
Beautiful, young, fresh.
A juicy morsel.
Don't you think?
I devoured her with my eyes.
You're like a child.
You devour the teacher with your eyes
and throw paper balls.
Yes.
You're right…
but I'm going through a strange period.
I feel young, restless, agitated.
It must be… the teacher.
A coffee.
-Here.
-Thanks.
-A coffee.
-You pronounce it well.
You're an interesting person.
-Don't tell me.
-I found this in the classroom.
It's the first time I've seen
a teacher throw paper balls.
Publicity betrayed me.
Yes, I'm a teacher
and I threw the paper balls.
-Does that seem nice?
-No.
But returning as a student
after so many years of discipline,
I couldn't help throwing those balls.
You don't know how many times
they passed under my nose
when I was a teacher.
What did you teach?
Physics.
Twelve years teaching high school.
-I deal with commerce now.
-You earn more, I imagine.
Yes. Don't worry.
I won't throw paper balls anymore.
-You're welcome, Miss.
-Are you always so silent?
-I prefer listening.
-He preserves his voice.
See you tomorrow. Goodbye.
Bye. See you tomorrow.
-We haven't been alone for a while.
-Yes.
Maurizio unites us,
but he separates us too.
So does your new job.
Maybe,
but it won't allow me to forget you.
There are streams without water
And sometimes the sky isn't blue
There are beaches without sun
And people who no longer have love
But I have you, I have you
If the world should fall, I have you
No, there's no doubt about that
I will never be
Without you
It's sad to live, just to live
To talk to who never hears
It's sad to be surrounded by people
And feel lonelier than ever
But I have you, I have you
If the world should fall, I have you
No, there's no doubt that
I will never be
Without you
But I have you, I have you
If the world should fall, I have you
I don't care if I should become
Important or not because
I have you, if the world should fall
I have you
No, there is no doubt that
I will never be
Without you
Even if we've been together a long time,
what I feel for you is only spiritual.
Don't be offended,
but I could spend hours with you talking.
Talking
Talking about fairytales and clouds.
Today, more clouds than fairytales.
Giuliana, for you I-- Clouds--
Giuliana, I--
Good for you.
Good. Keep it up.
-Do you think my store is a brothel?
-Excuse me.
Excuse you? This is an honored store.
My wife and children are upstairs.
Every object in here is a reminder
of the holiness of the family.
I am surprised at you, Miss Giuliana.
-I never would have expected it.
-Me either.
How brazen!
My fault. I was beside myself.
I was beside--
Maybe so,
but you can't do that here. Clear?
I wasn't on duty.
I came by to say…
I came by to say hello to my girlfriend.
Now, go back on duty
and control your emotions and--
Horns!
-Giuliana!
-What's she have to do with it?
-Horns.
-My horns.
My horns have disappeared. Of course!
I have a policeman who flirts
in my store, but doesn't check the horns.
-I checked on your horns.
-You did a bad job.
Yes, they're missing.
Who was it? It's a question.
I have the answer. I know who did it!
It was that undertaker. Darn him!
He screwed himself,
because the teacher's horns--
-What?
-Those horns.
-Right.
-Those horns can't be touched.
-The undertaker will pay for it.
-No, I feel guilty.
-I'll deal with it. I'm going.
-No, I'll go.
-In the name of the law!
-Don't exaggerate.
Mr. Aldini.
Shall I try
"in the name of the law" again?
-No.
-Trust me.
Excuse me.
-In the name of the law!
-You're obsessed.
Good morning.
Good day, sir.
-Who are you?
-A woman.
-I see that.
-I thought you didn't understand.
What are you doing here?
I am Mr. Aldini's employee.
A girl like you…
-works in a funeral home?
-What's so strange about it?
Such a lovely and attractive girl.
Full of life.
-What is she doing here?
-You're asking me?
I could ask the same question.
What is such a fascinating man
doing in here?
Thank you.
It's the law of opposites.
Everything must smile,
be pleasing and welcoming in here.
I said, "Good morning,"
as an ordinary encounter.
-I didn't extend my condolences.
-Condolences?
-Did someone die?
-None of my people.
-Mine neither.
-Why are you being superstitious?
Speaking of superstition--
-I must do that.
-No. It's in your interest.
-I'll clear things up with her.
-It would be better--
-I am the one involved.
-What about my uniform?
I don't care about your uniform.
Go direct traffic.
This area is under my jurisdiction.
Policeman Filini.
Ever since I've been here,
nothing has happened.
I think I have to go.
He'll clear things up.
IDs. Come on!
Help!
Come on. They're beating up the cop!
I'm here for superstitious reasons.
I must talk to Mr. Aldini,
my illustrious, but unpleasant neighbor.
-You are Mr. Puglisi, the record man.
-That's correct.
Not just records,
TV sets and electrical appliances too.
I have an important business.
It's stuff that serves to lighten
and cheer up life, existence.
Mr. Aldini is out, I am sorry.
But you can tell me,
I am his secretary as well.
It is pleasant talking to you,
but it's a private matter
between that scoundrel and me.
Why are you angry?
I know and so does he.
What happened?
Answer honestly.
Do you know anything about my horns?
I've been here since yesterday
and I don't know your wife.
What do you think I said?
I mean real horns.
-The ones hanging on the store.
-Sorry, I misunderstood.
I am mortified. I'd like to disappear.
Don't exaggerate, Miss.
You are fine where you are.
But I want my horns back.
Tell your boss!
-Are you sure he took them?
-Who else?
Yesterday, there were
lots of people in your store.
Maybe, you are right.
-There was a big crowd in the store.
-Yes.
With all those people,
as you say… "Forgive me"!
Excuse me for sort of trespassing.
No, I enjoyed your visit.
-Really?
-You will always be welcome.
Not here. I'm sorry.
You're not very nice. I am here.
Excuse me. That's true.
If you're here, everything changes.
I'll come back if I may. Your name?
Bernarda.
-Bernarda.
-Bernarda.
What a classic name!
-I'll come back, Miss Bernarda.
-Thank you!
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
Goodbye, sir.
See you soon!
Dearest! Dearest!
Darling, he left.
Great job! You were wonderful!
Next time, he'll ask to me marry him.
He will lose his mind.
Good girl. The horns disappeared
and so must the good luck tokens.
With your help, I'll destroy him.
Aren't you jealous
that I'll have to smile at him?
-A bit, but I know you love me.
-What about you?
I swore it.
I only love two things in life.
You and the poorly departed.
Very good.
The lesson is over.
See you tomorrow.
Good evening.
Good evening.
-Goodbye, Miss.
-Goodbye.
You were right.
The teacher is a woman like any other.
As soon as you see her,
you devour her with your eyes.
But after associating with her,
you realize she's no one.
What happened? You don't feel
restless and agitated anymore?
There is much more in life.
Bernarda, children…
-Bernarda? Who is Bernarda?
-Did I say Bernarda?
-Yes.
-I said Tilde.
I have to go to the store now.
Thursday is your recording.
The buses at this hour are packed.
-I catch it every evening.
-I'll accompany you tonight.
-No, thank you. Don't bother.
-It would be my pleasure.
Get in. Hurry!
Come on. We're blocking traffic.
One of these days I have to decide.
-To do what?
-Drive a car.
-You don't have a license?
-Yes, but traffic scares me.
-You have a license but don't drive.
-Tell me something.
Are you a relative of the singer…
Carlo Albani?
-Do you like him?
-You are embarrassing me. Answer.
No, but I like him.
Me too. Every time
I turn the radio on, he's singing.
Maybe he's popular. Let's try.
When the sun will return…
You see?
And in the sun I will come
To you
You will find another man
In me…
-Thanks for accompanying me.
-Don't worry about it.
You'll thank me when I get rid
of your fear of driving.
You'll never manage.
Then you won't teach me English.
It depends on the student.
-But also on the teacher.
-You consider yourself to be that good?
We can try.
-When do we begin?
-Tomorrow.
Tomorrow. Good night.
Maurizio, be a good boy now
and go to bed.
-I want Dad's song.
-You'll fall asleep to Dad's song?
-Yes!
-All right.
Where is the record?
-Hi, Dad.
-Hi, love.
-Hi.
-So?
Is this how you greet me?
Sorry. I'm looking for the record
that Maurizio likes.
If he doesn't listen to the song,
he won't sleep.
I won't sleep.
I'll take care of Maurizio.
In the wonderful world
Of cowboys and Indians
A brave little boy
Decided to leave one day
Riding a white pony
He went to those mountains
And in that delightful world
He caught a cloud
And now he happily rides
In those big blue skies
Thinking of all the people
Looking at him from down there
But a spiteful wind
Suddenly woke up
And the brave little boy
Rolled to the floor
He fell asleep.
-My son is beautiful, isn't he?
-Yes, my son is beautiful.
-Let's say "our son".
-Our son is really beautiful.
By the way, did you behave at school?
-I am the perfect student.
-How's English going?
I can pronounce about 100 words well.
Giuliana, do me a favor.
-What is it?
-Check on the children.
My wife went out
and we have that wacky maid.
-Right away, sir.
-Thank you.
Hello?
May I talk to Mr. Aldini?
Come to Via del Governo Vecchio, 21.
Third floor.
We'll be there immediately.
Your name?
Long live!
What? Giuseppina, Vincenzo and Gaetano?
Three at the same time? How did it happen?
Poisonous mushrooms.
Mushrooms.
Terrible. My condolences.
I'll be right there.
Amazing.
The fame of our services has gone
beyond the neighborhood borders.
They're calling us
from Via Del Governo Vecchio.
-Where is that?
-On the other side of the city.
Incredible!
We're becoming very popular.
I'll be out longer than usual.
Three at the same time.
Great. Kiss, kiss…
Kiss!
Bye.
Dear Mr. Puglisi,
despite your good luck tokens,
business is booming.
Three at the same time.
-My compliments.
-Thank you. Goodbye.
What a lovely surprise!
It's a pleasure to see you, sir.
Don't call me "sir".
My name is Filippo.
I saw your boss leave
faster than Greased Lightning!
-He looked like he'd won the lottery.
-Yes, three at the same time.
-Good thing people are dying.
-Yes.
-My life is so wonderful.
-You're telling me.
I enjoy life so much.
And facing you,
who is so lovely and radiant,
a man feels 20-years-old.
Am I mistaken
or are you making a pass at me?
-You judge that.
-You see…
I don't like today's young men.
They're too superficial.
Too empty.
They protest against everything.
While men of a certain age,
such as you, are more reliable.
You can rely on me, Miss Bernarda.
You're not that much different to me.
I like you very much.
-Thank you
-Too bad you're superstitious.
-Is that an obstacle?
-Yes.
It bothers me.
But I haven't put
the horns they stole back.
Good. It's a step forward.
Now you should remove the hunchbacks.
-No, not the hunchbacks.
-Yes.
-Not the hunchbacks.
-Yes.
-Not the hunchbacks.
-Yes.
Not the hunchbacks.
-Yes, the hunchbacks. Yes! Yes!
-All right.
The hunchbacks too.
You don't know how much this will cost me.
But for you, I'll do that and more.
Smile. Pet the lion.
Done.
Come to Mom.
With a guitar next to me
I can't find the words
I am alone now
But if a friend comes
We'll sing a duet together
Two voices aren't much
We'll call someone else
From two we've become four now
The group is expanding
And we'll sing in a chorus
And to think
I thought I would die
The day she left me
But it's different now
Among my friends
From two we've become four
The group is expanding
So we'll sing in a chorus
And when you leave
I won't be alone anymore
My guitar will play
The group will return
And we'll sing together
-I'd like Carlo Albani's records.
-His latest ones?
-The first ones as well.
-You are a last-minute fan.
I am his English teacher.
-You teach at Shelley School?
-Yes. How do you know?
My husband is your student too.
He's Albani's agent.
The man with a moustache and glasses.
What a coincidence.
I am in Mr. Puglisi's store.
It's a small world.
How is my husband doing?
He's good at grammar,
but his pronunciation is a disaster.
As I imagined. He's from Pozzuoli.
He uses such strange words.
-These are Albani's records.
-How much do I owe you?
Three thousand liras with a discount
to please my husband's teacher.
-Very kind of you.
-Here's to you.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
-I hope to see you soon.
-Say hello to your husband.
Thank you.
You'll see him at school tonight.
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
Good evening.
-Miss Bernarda.
-It's you! Good evening.
Miss Bernarda…
did you forget?
Tonight, we have a private dinner.
That's true,
but I can't be out later than 10:00.
-Otherwise, my mom will get mad at me.
-Oh, Mom.
As will my wife.
We should meet immediately.
Close the store,
and come to the Javanese restaurant.
I'll be waiting.
All right. See you in a bit.
We won! He's lost his head.
Convince him to remove
all the good luck tokens.
There aren't many left.
The hunchbacks and four-leaf clovers
need to be removed too.
I'll take care of it.
-Remember, nothing after dinner.
-Didn't you hear?
Mom will get mad at me
if I return after ten.
I am your mother.
Tell me I'm your big mama.
Sure. Big mama, big mama,
big mama, big mama!
My gosh, this woman works so much.
Are you making fun of me?
Giuliana asked for a half day off.
Did you give it to her?
What's the matter?
-What is it?
-Perfume.
So?
-It's you.
-I put some cologne on.
You put cologne on to go to school?
I always put it on.
I'm not going to school tonight.
-Where are you going?
-To see the American records people.
For the tour in the U.S.?
Yes. It's the moment to conclude.
You never talked to me
about your English teacher.
What is she like? Young? Pretty?
Young? Pretty? No.
She's horrible. Ugly, short, limp.
They put her in night school
so she won't go out during the day.
Do you make fun of her?
No, we respect her because she's pitiful.
-You feel sorry for her.
-Yes.
We feel both disgust and pity for her.
I have to go,
otherwise I'll be late for the Americans.
-Bye, kitten.
-Bye.
It's closing time. Close up.
I'll close.
I can't change gear.
Push down on the clutch all the way.
-I already did.
-There.
Useless. I'm too afraid.
I'll never be able to drive well.
You will with me.
Don't grip the wheel.
You'll end up hurting it.
You have to start
to feel comfortable with the car.
You can drive with only one hand.
-Are you crazy?
-No, I'll hold it.
-How will I shift gears?
-Like this.
What a magnificent evening,
Miss Bernarda.
I'm happy, Filippo.
I wish this intimate dinner
would never end.
Unfortunately, it's over.
-Are you really sorry?
-Yes.
Shall we start over again?
It's over, because I have to go.
Mom is waiting for me.
Is she very strict?
Yes, of course. She's German.
The Fräulein Mutter won't give us time
to drink another whiskey?
No, thank you.
She can't stand comforts
and the easy life.
-I have to go.
-I give up.
Thanks for the company.
-The bill.
-Right.
Who cares?
I thought I would die, but I had fun.
-You aren't inviting me in for a drink?
-I'd better not. I'm scared.
Scared of me?
No, of myself.
I forgot.
I don't understand.
It's still difficult for me.
I bought all your records.
All of Carlo Albani's records.
What should I get Filippo?
A tie or a sweater?
-I don't know. Is it his birthday?
-No, but I need to be forgiven.
I met the English teacher.
A beautiful girl.
Last night, he wore far too much cologne
for a business meeting.
I wasn't convinced
and went to the school.
-Filippo wasn't there.
-And Carlo?
-What does he have to do with it?
-Was he there?
Of course he was.
He didn't say you two had met.
In fact, we didn't meet.
I'll get the usual tie.
Bossi's weight is 69 kg.
Fourth gear.
That's 1.4 kgs less than his opponent.
After the news at 10.30 p.m...
87,565. The winners are 720.
You've made incredible progress.
-You're very good.
-It's because you're close to me.
Try without me now.
At night I am here…
Coincidences keep on repeating.
I think of you again
And I feel as if
You are close to me
At night I am here
Without asking myself why
I am thinking of my life
That is so tied to you
I am a man like those
Who don't know how to forget
And so
I still hope that
You'll come back
To me
At night I am here
I think of you again
And I feel as if
You are close to me
Close to me
-Who was that?
-I don't know.
It's late. I'll accompany you.
Can I?
Yes?
This is for you.
Filippo, it's beautiful.
You did this for me?
Yes, only for you.
Here's your reward.
-You gave me a kiss.
-One?
For what you did, ten, twenty, thirty!
Bernarda.
We took a nice walk.
Don't look, my children.
You are now orphans without a father.
Livia.
Good evening, Mr. Carlo.
-Where are my wife and son?
-They left.
-Where?
-Your wife didn't say.
Come on, Livia.
I'll take you to your husband.
No, Dad.
I won't go back to that house.
-I have nothing to share with him.
-You have a child to share.
-Maurizio is mine!
-And Carlo's.
You must go back home.
-Dad, I'm not going back home.
-This is not right.
-Carlo loves you.
-That's not true.
-Maybe he never loved me.
-What are you saying?
I saw him in the street,
kissing the English teacher.
-You caught him red-handed.
-The street isn't an apartment.
Let's go clear things up
with your husband.
Dad, don't insist. It's over.
-It's him.
-Send him away. I won't see him.
Me neither.
All right, I will.
-Where is Livia?
-Over there. Let's talk first.
Leave her alone. It's not a good time.
I absolutely need to talk to her.
Let him go.
Livia.
Nothing happened
between that woman and me.
Why did you kiss her?
I made a mistake. I didn't want to.
It was a moment of confusion.
-Let's go back home.
-Don't touch me!
Get Maurizio and let's go home.
I am staying here.
Come home right away.
No.
You risk never seeing me again.
That's what I want.
Think about what you're doing.
Don't insist. I won't
go back home if you're still there.
You can go back then.
-I will leave. The house is yours.
-Do as you wish.
No, Livia, as you wish.
In short,
this is what I wanted to tell you.
Actually, you've been talking
for half an hour.
In emptying out my soul, time flew.
Say yes or no.
You would never leave your wife for me.
No, I won't leave her. We have twins.
But you are something else.
If we could find a way,
somewhat clandestine…
AWARD-WINNING FIRM ALDINI
-Good evening. How can I help you?
-I understand everything.
You two were in cahoots.
You had this woman bewitch me,
so I'd get rid of my good luck tokens.
Yes.
Those horns were a hindrance
to my business. They were anti-death.
And you went along with this deceit.
Your kisses were lies.
I care about the business.
She is my fiancée.
You threw her in my arms
for a few extra dead people?
Yes, yes, they're my bread and butter.
I'd fight whoever threatens my bread
and butter, by any means.
-Even with horns?
-Yes! And I had them removed.
-But she betrayed you.
-No!
-What did you do?
-Nothing, dear. I swear.
-I want the truth.
-You tell him.
I am a gentleman,
I don't tell people things like that.
-No!
-No!
-You must tell me.
-I won't tell you.
-Yes or no?
-No.
-One word is enough!
-Really?
-Yes!
-So…
-Bernarda.
-No.
FUNERAL HOME
PROFESSOR F. PUGLISI
Tilde.
Tilde.
-Tilde!
-What do you want?
-The shutter won't open.
-And it never will.
Did the lock break?
Our love broke.
-What are you saying?
-It broke!
Besides cookies for the children,
buy strawberry ice-cream.
Yes, kitten. I'll go to the cafe.
I'll buy two crunchies too.
Betrayer, traitor and immoral!
-Because I'm buying two crunchies?
-Don't be a wise guy.
I saw you kissing that girl.
No… No, my lovely kitten.
That woman… I didn't kiss her.
-You're stuttering now?
-I didn't kiss her.
She kissed me to rid me of my horns.
I don't care about the reason
you cheated on me.
Please, open up, Tilde!
Don't holler.
Don't cause a scandal. It's over.
Tomorrow, I'll ask for a legal separation.
Tilde!
Jackals! Undertakers!
You buried a family.
Tilde…
Tilde.
Tilde.
Tilde…
-Hello?
-Hello, kitten!
-Stop bothering me!
-It's Livia.
Sorry, Livia.
You're not bothering. What is it?
I'm at my mother's house with my son.
I left Carlo. Don't ask me why.
You know perfectly well.
The other day
you accidentally came out with it.
You have nothing to do with it.
I'd have found out eventually.
I can't. It's over.
I am asking for a legal separation.
What did you say?
No, not a legal separation.
Men think they can find self-assurance
in the arms of the first woman they meet.
They all feel like
Adam looking for the forbidden fruit.
Livia, if my Filippo
did something like that,
I wouldn't get mad at all.
I'd laugh about it.
Not me. I am determined.
Think about it.
I'll call you back tomorrow. Bye.
Tilde.
-You're drinking now?
-Yes.
-I want to stoop low.
-I'll pull you up.
-Let's go home.
-Will you forgive me?
For the children. Our separation
would give them a complex.
-Kitten, I won't do it again.
-Don't call me "kitten".
I forgive you, but don't use that word.
Put my husband's drinks on my bill.
-We'll take this.
-Leave it here.
We paid for it.
Love
How long must I wait
In this great silence
That talks to me about you
The leaves
That the wind is blowing away
Look like my thoughts
That are flying to you
I'd like to tell you now
The things I never told you
But all that I have left
Is the sky to look at
Love
My sadness is immense
On this autumn day
Without you
I'd like to tell you now
The things I never told you
But all that I have left
Is the sky to look at
Love
My sadness is immense
On this autumn day
Without you
Love
Love
-Good morning.
-Good morning, Mr. Carlo.
How is Maurizio?
Full of life, full of health.
Every day he becomes more handsome.
How is my wife?
Maybe I shouldn't say this,
but she has changed.
She is sad and never leaves the house.
-Does she ever talk about me?
-Never.
Dad!
You've grown so much.
You're taller than your dad.
-Really?
-Yes.
-Did you bring some candy?
-Yes. Here they are.
-Good?
-Yes.
When are you coming home?
Soon. Dad is very busy now.
There's Mom.
Why did Mom leave?
She went to get your lunch ready.
Let's go.
Bye.
-What's the matter?
-Everything!
-What?
-Everything!
It's a bit dirty,
but I haven't had any accidents.
-First!
-First… What?
-The license plate is illegible.
-I can read it perfectly.
-I can't!
-But--
-Third!
-Second!
-What?
-First, second.
-Always first and second?
-Always.
That's right. Second!
Third!
-Second.
-Second!
-You parked in the wrong direction.
-But I'm in front of my store.
All right. Third?
-Third.
-Third!
-I can't remember.
-Second and third.
License and registration!
-License and registration.
-Relax. Right away.
This is not my driver's license.
-The driver's license?
-The driver's license.
It's not here.
-Registration--
-No, your license.
-Cigarette?
-I don't smoke.
She's dead. She was my client.
If you need me--
No, thank you.
Wait.
-My license?
-Your license.
-I gave it to you.
-What?
You asked for my license
and I gave it to you
when we were bent over.
-Maybe I dropped it.
-Give it back to me.
See? I don't have it.
I gave it to you.
-The tires.
-They are all there.
-There are four plus the spare one.
-Too smooth.
-Smooth?
-Smooth.
-Fourth.
-Fourth.
-Third.
-Third.
Third. Smooth.
I'll take your license away.
You already have.
-You took my license.
-Then I'll fine you.
There.
-May I have a pen?
-A pen?
-Right away.
-You have a pen.
Did you see my…
-What?
-The ticket notepad.
-No.
-I gave it to you.
-To me?
-When you bent over.
When we bent over? Can't remember.
I gave you my driver's license.
Yes. Can you check?
-My license.
-What?
-My license!
-Your license?
Yes, my driver's license.
-Write.
-May I?
No, write.
First, the license plate is illegible.
-You can read it.
-No, I can't. Second.
I parked in a non-parking area. Third.
-But can't you see that--
-Third, the tires are too smooth.
-The tires aren't--
-The tires are smooth.
-Fourth.
-Fourth.
I parked the wrong way.
Not that one. You can turn the car around.
Who will turn it around?
-The keys and the pen.
-What? The pen.
-Give me the driver's license.
-You have it.
-Who will turn the car around?
-I will.
-There. Be careful!
-Excuse me.
-Understood? Go!
-Excuse me.
-Give me your number.
-My number?
Give me your number.
Give me the registration.
-What is your name?
-Filini.
-What?
-Filini.
Filini.
Filini.
-With one "L".
-First.
You don't have a book.
Second, you don't have a number.
Why don't you write the number here?
What number is it? Shall I write it?
-No! Third, move the car. Watch out.
-Move the car.
I'll watch out.
-Understand?
-Yes.
-Go!
-As you wish.
-If you happen to find the ticket book--
-No.
Do you have your license?
-No.
-Then you can't drive.
Get out. Close it.
You can't drive the car.
-Give me back the keys.
-Here you are.
-I'll move it. What is your name?
-Filini
-Filini, go away! Go!
-Yes. Thank you.
Understand?
Carlo often goes to see Maurizio.
I know. That is why
every morning I send him to the park.
He misses him and he misses you.
-I don't care.
-You should.
He gave up his tour
and all his other commitments.
Why did he cheat on me
with that woman?
Stop it. Don't exaggerate.
I caught Filippo too,
kissing a woman at the funeral parlor.
I forgave him to avoid losing him.
But I'd be afraid of losing him
again to just anyone.
Nothing good can come from fear.
The rest depends on you.
I have Filippo in the palm of my hand.
He won't kiss another woman for sure.
-Dad, the candy?
-I forgot them.
But I'll take care of it. Santina,
please buy them at the cafe.
-Get something for yourself.
-Be careful with Maurizio.
He is my son. How are you, young man?
A croissant and a pack of candy.
-How much is it?
-Two-hundred Liras.
Maurizio!
Maurizio!
Mr. Carlo!
Maurizio, where are you? Maurizio!
Poor me! Who will tell Ms. Livia?
-Filini, do me a favor.
-Yes, sir. Right away!
-Can you move this TV set a bit?
-Yes, sir.
Thank you.
-Thank you.
-The phone. Excuse me.
Excuse me.
-Thank you.
-At your disposal.
Puglisi Electrical Appliances.
Carlo, finally!
Where are you?
I have to come now?
What are you saying? The child?
All right, I understand. I'll rush over.
Yes.
-Miss Giuliana.
-Yes?
Could you please tell my wife
that I went to Torvaianica
because Carlo called.
-All right.
-What are you doing?
-The TV set.
-That's right.
-Will you take me to Torvaianica?
-Yes.
My wife took the car
and I'm on foot.
Do you have the 500?
The small utility car
with the dual engine that's economical,
popular with the average driver.
Do you have it?
No.
Why didn't you say that? It's urgent
and you're wasting my time.
Too bad. I described it so well.
Taxi!
Taxi!
-If you're in a rush, I'll take you.
-After what happened?
But tell me what happened
between you and Bernarda.
I'll tell you on the way.
Will you take me to Torvaianica?
-Of course.
-Thank you.
-Will it take long?
-No. Please.
-Why do I have to get in this side?
-The door is stuck.
Don't get upset. Wait.
Puglisi Electrical Appliances.
What is it, madam?
Your husband just left.
He went to Carlo's at Torvaianica.
A teacher, but rude.
-I don't understand.
-What happened with you and her?
First tell me why everyone we meet
makes the sign for horns.
Don't bother with them.
They're superstitious, like you.
-They know you.
-They know the car.
Oh, God!
-What?
-A hearse! Let me out!
Let me out!
Please!
-I have a family. Let me out!
-I can't see!
Stop!
Let me out!
Let me out!
The door opens now.
You see?
I was right. You bring bad luck.
You were taking me to the cemetery!
-You were about to kill me!
-One less jinx!
-How do I get to Torvaianica?
-By hitch-hiking!
Nobody is around.
No one stops here.
There's a hearse over there
and you look like an undertaker.
-They think I'm a caretaker too.
-What went on with you and Bernarda?
Nothing! I am chaste, pure,
and on foot because of her.
-Then I can marry her?
-Do as you please!
-Stop!
-Hey!
You and your father.
And your brother too, if you have one.
The drivers are rude,
and with your nervousness,
we'll never get to Torvaianica.
With you here...
Come with me. Come.
Let's steal those kids' bike.
Stop, kids. Stop.
-Who are you?
-Listen.
What do you want?
We are part of a charity association
that offers ice-cream to good children.
Here. Buy one each.
So that when we get off,
you'll swipe our bike.
You've got suspicious faces.
If you want them, give us 20,000 liras.
-What if I give you 10,000?
-I won't give you the bike.
He won't give you the bike.
-Give him 20,000 liras.
-All right. 20,000 liras.
Here.
-Nice kid.
-Pedal fast.
You pedal fast, you're the one in a hurry.
-The thieves were punished.
-What are you doing?
-The owner is coming.
-Scoundrels!
This is the third one you sold.
Know what I'll do?
I won't rent it to you anymore.
Look at how much
we have to run for 20,000 liras.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Uncle Filippo is coming
and he'll get your lunch ready.
When will we get there?
-How tiring.
-When will we get there?
What are you doing? Stop.
This is it.
Here. This is it.
-Here.
-Ouch, my legs.
Ouch.
-What happened to Maurizio?
-Nothing.
Why did you have me rush over here?
-Maurizio is with me.
-Did Livia give him to you?
No. I took him from Santina.
Did you kidnap your son?
Kidnap him? He's my son.
It's still kidnapping.
What if something happens to the boy?
Be quiet. Don't go on.
Your profession is socially dangerous.
-This boy is perfectly healthy!
-Yes, but he has to eat.
-I don't know how to make his food.
-What food?
He eats macaroni and sausages.
Uncle Filippo will take care
of our handsome Maurizio.
-Honey. Where is the kitchen?
-This way.
-Aldini, come with me.
-With pleasure.
When it comes to accompanying…
You are obsessed with accompanying people.
Your lunch is coming.
-Aldini.
-Yes?
Turn it on.
-Four candles?
-The gas.
You have to turn on-- The bell?
-How do you turn on the bell?
-The doorbell!
-Who can it be?
-Who can it be?
-Hide the boy.
-Maurizio, come here.
-Let's play hide-and-seek.
-Let's play.
You shouldn't have done this.
Where is the child?
-Tell me.
-Over there. Come.
-You were going along with him.
-He had to eat.
-You're an accomplice to kidnapping.
-Don't be ridiculous.
-Accomplice? Carlo is his father.
-His mother is outside.
-Give him to me.
-No. Maurizio stays with me.
Livia is desperate. She thinks
you've taken him away forever.
I just wanted him all to myself for a day.
Carlo, give him to her.
This is not the best way to fix things.
Forgive me. I find no other words
to justify my gesture.
Go with Mom.
Dad, are you coming with us?
Dad will come later. I am busy now.
Go with Mom.
Let's all three of us go.
Why won't you come?
What do you have to do?
The time to depart has come.
Enough of these funeral words.
You're a continuous obituary.
Can't you see he's suffering?
Suffering. Obituary.
It's become contagious.
The waves of the sea
Are there
Here on the beach
I think of you
The sun sets over me
What do I care
If you are not here
This sun no longer warms me
It is too cold at the bottom of my heart
Love, come back
In my soul there remains
A great need for you
This sun no longer warms me
In my mind there is a cold goodbye
Love, come back
In my soul I feel
A great need for you
Happy seagulls over me
If I could, I would fly too
Far away to look for you
The summer is sad
If you are not here
This sun no longer warms me
In my mind there is a cold goodbye
Love, come back
It remains in my soul
Carlo!
Carlo!
Dad!
THE END
They wait in line for hours for a song
and nobody gets sunstroke.
FUNERAL HOME
-Life is great, isn't it?
-Better than an ugly death.
Who says it has to be ugly?
I wish everyone a serene death,
without suffering, with religious support
and their family to comfort them.
Don't bring bad luck.
I was right to fill the store
with horns, hunchbacks,
and four-leaf clovers.
You need to remove them!
This is unfair competition.
-I won't remove them.
-People line up outside your place.
-Nobody comes to mine.
-You want a line for your coffins?
I wish. It's all I ask for.
Half would be enough.
Get out. Vulture! Hyena! Jackal!
Horns to you. Double horns.
I'd marry his widow with all the orphans
to get rid of that man.
RADIO - TV - RECORDS
-Excuse me!
-Where are you going?
Excuse me. I'd like to go inside.
-Want to cut in front of everyone?
-I own the store.
-Get in line.
-I own the store.
-And I'm Little Red Riding Hood.
-Very funny.
-That old man is shrewd!
-Are you talking to me?
Tilde! Giuliana!
They won't let me through.
-Let me by.
-Relax, old man.
-Make way. Excuse me.
-They won't let me in.
-Make way!
-Officer Filini, tell them who I am.
They don't believe I'm the owner.
These people don't believe what you say?
It's simple! First of all, we have to
make a speech to clear things up.
This gentleman could have taken
advantage of his position,
-but with a democratic spirit--
-I'll get sunstroke!
Just tell them I own the store.
-He is the owner.
-Thank goodness. Excuse me.
I was explaining it so well.
Excuse me. You should keep order
outside instead of inside.
-Excuse me.
-It's better inside.
It'll give the impression
I'm more efficient.
You come in
because the salesgirl is your girlfriend.
My intentions with Giuliana are serious.
Are they?
-I love her very much.
-Love her less and work more.
-I don't know if that's possible.
-Love, I'm back. What is it?
I was late because when you are
the agent of a great singer like Carlo,
time flies. Everyone calls me.
Appointments with record companies,
recordings. It's so tiring.
-I work hard too.
-Sure. With this line of people.
But don't frown.
Smile for the customers.
-What? I've been here since 8:00.
-Today is a successful day.
And also our wedding anniversary.
I forgot.
That's why you were angry. Forgive me.
Forgive me, my love.
You can kiss later on.
Sorry, but it's our wedding anniversary.
-Silver anniversary.
-Aluminum foil. We're newlyweds.
-It doesn't look like it.
-What are you saying?
Carlo Albani is here!
-An autograph!
-Albani is here!
Make way!
-I am a policeman. Let me through.
-An autograph.
Don't push! Where are your manners?
They'll destroy the policeman too.
Why are you here?
I want to invite you and Tilde
to celebrate
our wedding anniversary at my house.
You're right.
We got married together
and we will celebrate together.
-See you tonight.
-Yes, tonight. Bye.
Don't push!
Let him leave!
I want to stay!
Look.
How lovely. The teachers
and students united in marriage,
the same day in the same church.
Are you crying?
I get emotional at weddings,
especially mine. I'd lost hope.
I'm photogenic, right?
Yes, you come out well.
Will you become an actor?
First, a physics teacher,
then a store owner,
and now, my son-in-law's agent.
Agent and talent scout.
I discovered Carlo.
We'll record in every language.
It seems like yesterday.
Too bad. No more.
It's nice to relive those moments again.
-I am so happy.
-Me too. We made a good choice.
Two custom-made husbands.
This morning at the store,
there was a long line
waiting to buy Carlo's records.
My compliments.
And especially to you, Carlo.
-Mr. Puglisi gets all the credit.
-No, your voice does.
-You're a successful singer now.
-But not an engineer!
If things don't go well,
you'll give me that job in your factory.
-It's what I've always wanted.
-What's with all this sorrow?
On to Carlos' big tour
in the United States.
It's my tour too,
because I'm going with him.
Remember that English lessons
are starting tomorrow.
In fact, you don't know
how much that bothers me.
I'm a former high school teacher
and I have to sit at a student's desk.
Don't exaggerate. You're not going
to a school for illiterates!
It bothers me anyway.
I made everyone obey, even them.
Why don't you get a private teacher?
No, I can't stand private teachers.
You can't study at home.
Tomorrow we'll go to the Shelley School.
I'll get your lunch ready
with an omelet and an apple.
To your health!
This form isn't used today.
It's been replaced by "you".
May I?
-You can go.
-Where?
I don't know.
Excuse me.
An extra finger was up.
May I ask,
why don’t they remove the "thou"?
-It's part of the grammar.
-I see.
England is conservative,
it keeps things that aren't necessary.
Your spirit does not enrich the lesson.
I ask you to be quiet and pay attention.
Sorry. I won't do it again.
You're not funny. We're here to study.
The first of the class has spoken.
Will Mom take you out tonight?
Please, let's continue with the lesson.
I don't like him.
"Esso" or "essa."
"Noi."
"Voi."
"Loro, essi."
Let's repeat that.
-Do you feel sick?
-Teacher!
-Someone is throwing balls at me.
-Who is doing that?
-Don't joke around.
-I swear! They threw them at me.
Please! You've turned into
kids again at these desks!
-Are you talking to me?
-No, to everyone.
No. You're only looking at me. I'm sorry.
I am a serious person. I am an agent.
I'm studying English
because I'm going to the U.S.
-to do business with Americans.
-I don't doubt that.
I hope that these things aren't repeated.
The lesson is over.
See you tomorrow.
-Goodbye.
-Good evening.
"Mr. Puglisi, electric appliances."
What a woman, that English teacher.
Beautiful, young, fresh.
A juicy morsel.
Don't you think?
I devoured her with my eyes.
You're like a child.
You devour the teacher with your eyes
and throw paper balls.
Yes.
You're right…
but I'm going through a strange period.
I feel young, restless, agitated.
It must be… the teacher.
A coffee.
-Here.
-Thanks.
-A coffee.
-You pronounce it well.
You're an interesting person.
-Don't tell me.
-I found this in the classroom.
It's the first time I've seen
a teacher throw paper balls.
Publicity betrayed me.
Yes, I'm a teacher
and I threw the paper balls.
-Does that seem nice?
-No.
But returning as a student
after so many years of discipline,
I couldn't help throwing those balls.
You don't know how many times
they passed under my nose
when I was a teacher.
What did you teach?
Physics.
Twelve years teaching high school.
-I deal with commerce now.
-You earn more, I imagine.
Yes. Don't worry.
I won't throw paper balls anymore.
-You're welcome, Miss.
-Are you always so silent?
-I prefer listening.
-He preserves his voice.
See you tomorrow. Goodbye.
Bye. See you tomorrow.
-We haven't been alone for a while.
-Yes.
Maurizio unites us,
but he separates us too.
So does your new job.
Maybe,
but it won't allow me to forget you.
There are streams without water
And sometimes the sky isn't blue
There are beaches without sun
And people who no longer have love
But I have you, I have you
If the world should fall, I have you
No, there's no doubt about that
I will never be
Without you
It's sad to live, just to live
To talk to who never hears
It's sad to be surrounded by people
And feel lonelier than ever
But I have you, I have you
If the world should fall, I have you
No, there's no doubt that
I will never be
Without you
But I have you, I have you
If the world should fall, I have you
I don't care if I should become
Important or not because
I have you, if the world should fall
I have you
No, there is no doubt that
I will never be
Without you
Even if we've been together a long time,
what I feel for you is only spiritual.
Don't be offended,
but I could spend hours with you talking.
Talking
Talking about fairytales and clouds.
Today, more clouds than fairytales.
Giuliana, for you I-- Clouds--
Giuliana, I--
Good for you.
Good. Keep it up.
-Do you think my store is a brothel?
-Excuse me.
Excuse you? This is an honored store.
My wife and children are upstairs.
Every object in here is a reminder
of the holiness of the family.
I am surprised at you, Miss Giuliana.
-I never would have expected it.
-Me either.
How brazen!
My fault. I was beside myself.
I was beside--
Maybe so,
but you can't do that here. Clear?
I wasn't on duty.
I came by to say…
I came by to say hello to my girlfriend.
Now, go back on duty
and control your emotions and--
Horns!
-Giuliana!
-What's she have to do with it?
-Horns.
-My horns.
My horns have disappeared. Of course!
I have a policeman who flirts
in my store, but doesn't check the horns.
-I checked on your horns.
-You did a bad job.
Yes, they're missing.
Who was it? It's a question.
I have the answer. I know who did it!
It was that undertaker. Darn him!
He screwed himself,
because the teacher's horns--
-What?
-Those horns.
-Right.
-Those horns can't be touched.
-The undertaker will pay for it.
-No, I feel guilty.
-I'll deal with it. I'm going.
-No, I'll go.
-In the name of the law!
-Don't exaggerate.
Mr. Aldini.
Shall I try
"in the name of the law" again?
-No.
-Trust me.
Excuse me.
-In the name of the law!
-You're obsessed.
Good morning.
Good day, sir.
-Who are you?
-A woman.
-I see that.
-I thought you didn't understand.
What are you doing here?
I am Mr. Aldini's employee.
A girl like you…
-works in a funeral home?
-What's so strange about it?
Such a lovely and attractive girl.
Full of life.
-What is she doing here?
-You're asking me?
I could ask the same question.
What is such a fascinating man
doing in here?
Thank you.
It's the law of opposites.
Everything must smile,
be pleasing and welcoming in here.
I said, "Good morning,"
as an ordinary encounter.
-I didn't extend my condolences.
-Condolences?
-Did someone die?
-None of my people.
-Mine neither.
-Why are you being superstitious?
Speaking of superstition--
-I must do that.
-No. It's in your interest.
-I'll clear things up with her.
-It would be better--
-I am the one involved.
-What about my uniform?
I don't care about your uniform.
Go direct traffic.
This area is under my jurisdiction.
Policeman Filini.
Ever since I've been here,
nothing has happened.
I think I have to go.
He'll clear things up.
IDs. Come on!
Help!
Come on. They're beating up the cop!
I'm here for superstitious reasons.
I must talk to Mr. Aldini,
my illustrious, but unpleasant neighbor.
-You are Mr. Puglisi, the record man.
-That's correct.
Not just records,
TV sets and electrical appliances too.
I have an important business.
It's stuff that serves to lighten
and cheer up life, existence.
Mr. Aldini is out, I am sorry.
But you can tell me,
I am his secretary as well.
It is pleasant talking to you,
but it's a private matter
between that scoundrel and me.
Why are you angry?
I know and so does he.
What happened?
Answer honestly.
Do you know anything about my horns?
I've been here since yesterday
and I don't know your wife.
What do you think I said?
I mean real horns.
-The ones hanging on the store.
-Sorry, I misunderstood.
I am mortified. I'd like to disappear.
Don't exaggerate, Miss.
You are fine where you are.
But I want my horns back.
Tell your boss!
-Are you sure he took them?
-Who else?
Yesterday, there were
lots of people in your store.
Maybe, you are right.
-There was a big crowd in the store.
-Yes.
With all those people,
as you say… "Forgive me"!
Excuse me for sort of trespassing.
No, I enjoyed your visit.
-Really?
-You will always be welcome.
Not here. I'm sorry.
You're not very nice. I am here.
Excuse me. That's true.
If you're here, everything changes.
I'll come back if I may. Your name?
Bernarda.
-Bernarda.
-Bernarda.
What a classic name!
-I'll come back, Miss Bernarda.
-Thank you!
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
Goodbye, sir.
See you soon!
Dearest! Dearest!
Darling, he left.
Great job! You were wonderful!
Next time, he'll ask to me marry him.
He will lose his mind.
Good girl. The horns disappeared
and so must the good luck tokens.
With your help, I'll destroy him.
Aren't you jealous
that I'll have to smile at him?
-A bit, but I know you love me.
-What about you?
I swore it.
I only love two things in life.
You and the poorly departed.
Very good.
The lesson is over.
See you tomorrow.
Good evening.
Good evening.
-Goodbye, Miss.
-Goodbye.
You were right.
The teacher is a woman like any other.
As soon as you see her,
you devour her with your eyes.
But after associating with her,
you realize she's no one.
What happened? You don't feel
restless and agitated anymore?
There is much more in life.
Bernarda, children…
-Bernarda? Who is Bernarda?
-Did I say Bernarda?
-Yes.
-I said Tilde.
I have to go to the store now.
Thursday is your recording.
The buses at this hour are packed.
-I catch it every evening.
-I'll accompany you tonight.
-No, thank you. Don't bother.
-It would be my pleasure.
Get in. Hurry!
Come on. We're blocking traffic.
One of these days I have to decide.
-To do what?
-Drive a car.
-You don't have a license?
-Yes, but traffic scares me.
-You have a license but don't drive.
-Tell me something.
Are you a relative of the singer…
Carlo Albani?
-Do you like him?
-You are embarrassing me. Answer.
No, but I like him.
Me too. Every time
I turn the radio on, he's singing.
Maybe he's popular. Let's try.
When the sun will return…
You see?
And in the sun I will come
To you
You will find another man
In me…
-Thanks for accompanying me.
-Don't worry about it.
You'll thank me when I get rid
of your fear of driving.
You'll never manage.
Then you won't teach me English.
It depends on the student.
-But also on the teacher.
-You consider yourself to be that good?
We can try.
-When do we begin?
-Tomorrow.
Tomorrow. Good night.
Maurizio, be a good boy now
and go to bed.
-I want Dad's song.
-You'll fall asleep to Dad's song?
-Yes!
-All right.
Where is the record?
-Hi, Dad.
-Hi, love.
-Hi.
-So?
Is this how you greet me?
Sorry. I'm looking for the record
that Maurizio likes.
If he doesn't listen to the song,
he won't sleep.
I won't sleep.
I'll take care of Maurizio.
In the wonderful world
Of cowboys and Indians
A brave little boy
Decided to leave one day
Riding a white pony
He went to those mountains
And in that delightful world
He caught a cloud
And now he happily rides
In those big blue skies
Thinking of all the people
Looking at him from down there
But a spiteful wind
Suddenly woke up
And the brave little boy
Rolled to the floor
He fell asleep.
-My son is beautiful, isn't he?
-Yes, my son is beautiful.
-Let's say "our son".
-Our son is really beautiful.
By the way, did you behave at school?
-I am the perfect student.
-How's English going?
I can pronounce about 100 words well.
Giuliana, do me a favor.
-What is it?
-Check on the children.
My wife went out
and we have that wacky maid.
-Right away, sir.
-Thank you.
Hello?
May I talk to Mr. Aldini?
Come to Via del Governo Vecchio, 21.
Third floor.
We'll be there immediately.
Your name?
Long live!
What? Giuseppina, Vincenzo and Gaetano?
Three at the same time? How did it happen?
Poisonous mushrooms.
Mushrooms.
Terrible. My condolences.
I'll be right there.
Amazing.
The fame of our services has gone
beyond the neighborhood borders.
They're calling us
from Via Del Governo Vecchio.
-Where is that?
-On the other side of the city.
Incredible!
We're becoming very popular.
I'll be out longer than usual.
Three at the same time.
Great. Kiss, kiss…
Kiss!
Bye.
Dear Mr. Puglisi,
despite your good luck tokens,
business is booming.
Three at the same time.
-My compliments.
-Thank you. Goodbye.
What a lovely surprise!
It's a pleasure to see you, sir.
Don't call me "sir".
My name is Filippo.
I saw your boss leave
faster than Greased Lightning!
-He looked like he'd won the lottery.
-Yes, three at the same time.
-Good thing people are dying.
-Yes.
-My life is so wonderful.
-You're telling me.
I enjoy life so much.
And facing you,
who is so lovely and radiant,
a man feels 20-years-old.
Am I mistaken
or are you making a pass at me?
-You judge that.
-You see…
I don't like today's young men.
They're too superficial.
Too empty.
They protest against everything.
While men of a certain age,
such as you, are more reliable.
You can rely on me, Miss Bernarda.
You're not that much different to me.
I like you very much.
-Thank you
-Too bad you're superstitious.
-Is that an obstacle?
-Yes.
It bothers me.
But I haven't put
the horns they stole back.
Good. It's a step forward.
Now you should remove the hunchbacks.
-No, not the hunchbacks.
-Yes.
-Not the hunchbacks.
-Yes.
-Not the hunchbacks.
-Yes.
Not the hunchbacks.
-Yes, the hunchbacks. Yes! Yes!
-All right.
The hunchbacks too.
You don't know how much this will cost me.
But for you, I'll do that and more.
Smile. Pet the lion.
Done.
Come to Mom.
With a guitar next to me
I can't find the words
I am alone now
But if a friend comes
We'll sing a duet together
Two voices aren't much
We'll call someone else
From two we've become four now
The group is expanding
And we'll sing in a chorus
And to think
I thought I would die
The day she left me
But it's different now
Among my friends
From two we've become four
The group is expanding
So we'll sing in a chorus
And when you leave
I won't be alone anymore
My guitar will play
The group will return
And we'll sing together
-I'd like Carlo Albani's records.
-His latest ones?
-The first ones as well.
-You are a last-minute fan.
I am his English teacher.
-You teach at Shelley School?
-Yes. How do you know?
My husband is your student too.
He's Albani's agent.
The man with a moustache and glasses.
What a coincidence.
I am in Mr. Puglisi's store.
It's a small world.
How is my husband doing?
He's good at grammar,
but his pronunciation is a disaster.
As I imagined. He's from Pozzuoli.
He uses such strange words.
-These are Albani's records.
-How much do I owe you?
Three thousand liras with a discount
to please my husband's teacher.
-Very kind of you.
-Here's to you.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
-I hope to see you soon.
-Say hello to your husband.
Thank you.
You'll see him at school tonight.
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
Good evening.
-Miss Bernarda.
-It's you! Good evening.
Miss Bernarda…
did you forget?
Tonight, we have a private dinner.
That's true,
but I can't be out later than 10:00.
-Otherwise, my mom will get mad at me.
-Oh, Mom.
As will my wife.
We should meet immediately.
Close the store,
and come to the Javanese restaurant.
I'll be waiting.
All right. See you in a bit.
We won! He's lost his head.
Convince him to remove
all the good luck tokens.
There aren't many left.
The hunchbacks and four-leaf clovers
need to be removed too.
I'll take care of it.
-Remember, nothing after dinner.
-Didn't you hear?
Mom will get mad at me
if I return after ten.
I am your mother.
Tell me I'm your big mama.
Sure. Big mama, big mama,
big mama, big mama!
My gosh, this woman works so much.
Are you making fun of me?
Giuliana asked for a half day off.
Did you give it to her?
What's the matter?
-What is it?
-Perfume.
So?
-It's you.
-I put some cologne on.
You put cologne on to go to school?
I always put it on.
I'm not going to school tonight.
-Where are you going?
-To see the American records people.
For the tour in the U.S.?
Yes. It's the moment to conclude.
You never talked to me
about your English teacher.
What is she like? Young? Pretty?
Young? Pretty? No.
She's horrible. Ugly, short, limp.
They put her in night school
so she won't go out during the day.
Do you make fun of her?
No, we respect her because she's pitiful.
-You feel sorry for her.
-Yes.
We feel both disgust and pity for her.
I have to go,
otherwise I'll be late for the Americans.
-Bye, kitten.
-Bye.
It's closing time. Close up.
I'll close.
I can't change gear.
Push down on the clutch all the way.
-I already did.
-There.
Useless. I'm too afraid.
I'll never be able to drive well.
You will with me.
Don't grip the wheel.
You'll end up hurting it.
You have to start
to feel comfortable with the car.
You can drive with only one hand.
-Are you crazy?
-No, I'll hold it.
-How will I shift gears?
-Like this.
What a magnificent evening,
Miss Bernarda.
I'm happy, Filippo.
I wish this intimate dinner
would never end.
Unfortunately, it's over.
-Are you really sorry?
-Yes.
Shall we start over again?
It's over, because I have to go.
Mom is waiting for me.
Is she very strict?
Yes, of course. She's German.
The Fräulein Mutter won't give us time
to drink another whiskey?
No, thank you.
She can't stand comforts
and the easy life.
-I have to go.
-I give up.
Thanks for the company.
-The bill.
-Right.
Who cares?
I thought I would die, but I had fun.
-You aren't inviting me in for a drink?
-I'd better not. I'm scared.
Scared of me?
No, of myself.
I forgot.
I don't understand.
It's still difficult for me.
I bought all your records.
All of Carlo Albani's records.
What should I get Filippo?
A tie or a sweater?
-I don't know. Is it his birthday?
-No, but I need to be forgiven.
I met the English teacher.
A beautiful girl.
Last night, he wore far too much cologne
for a business meeting.
I wasn't convinced
and went to the school.
-Filippo wasn't there.
-And Carlo?
-What does he have to do with it?
-Was he there?
Of course he was.
He didn't say you two had met.
In fact, we didn't meet.
I'll get the usual tie.
Bossi's weight is 69 kg.
Fourth gear.
That's 1.4 kgs less than his opponent.
After the news at 10.30 p.m...
87,565. The winners are 720.
You've made incredible progress.
-You're very good.
-It's because you're close to me.
Try without me now.
At night I am here…
Coincidences keep on repeating.
I think of you again
And I feel as if
You are close to me
At night I am here
Without asking myself why
I am thinking of my life
That is so tied to you
I am a man like those
Who don't know how to forget
And so
I still hope that
You'll come back
To me
At night I am here
I think of you again
And I feel as if
You are close to me
Close to me
-Who was that?
-I don't know.
It's late. I'll accompany you.
Can I?
Yes?
This is for you.
Filippo, it's beautiful.
You did this for me?
Yes, only for you.
Here's your reward.
-You gave me a kiss.
-One?
For what you did, ten, twenty, thirty!
Bernarda.
We took a nice walk.
Don't look, my children.
You are now orphans without a father.
Livia.
Good evening, Mr. Carlo.
-Where are my wife and son?
-They left.
-Where?
-Your wife didn't say.
Come on, Livia.
I'll take you to your husband.
No, Dad.
I won't go back to that house.
-I have nothing to share with him.
-You have a child to share.
-Maurizio is mine!
-And Carlo's.
You must go back home.
-Dad, I'm not going back home.
-This is not right.
-Carlo loves you.
-That's not true.
-Maybe he never loved me.
-What are you saying?
I saw him in the street,
kissing the English teacher.
-You caught him red-handed.
-The street isn't an apartment.
Let's go clear things up
with your husband.
Dad, don't insist. It's over.
-It's him.
-Send him away. I won't see him.
Me neither.
All right, I will.
-Where is Livia?
-Over there. Let's talk first.
Leave her alone. It's not a good time.
I absolutely need to talk to her.
Let him go.
Livia.
Nothing happened
between that woman and me.
Why did you kiss her?
I made a mistake. I didn't want to.
It was a moment of confusion.
-Let's go back home.
-Don't touch me!
Get Maurizio and let's go home.
I am staying here.
Come home right away.
No.
You risk never seeing me again.
That's what I want.
Think about what you're doing.
Don't insist. I won't
go back home if you're still there.
You can go back then.
-I will leave. The house is yours.
-Do as you wish.
No, Livia, as you wish.
In short,
this is what I wanted to tell you.
Actually, you've been talking
for half an hour.
In emptying out my soul, time flew.
Say yes or no.
You would never leave your wife for me.
No, I won't leave her. We have twins.
But you are something else.
If we could find a way,
somewhat clandestine…
AWARD-WINNING FIRM ALDINI
-Good evening. How can I help you?
-I understand everything.
You two were in cahoots.
You had this woman bewitch me,
so I'd get rid of my good luck tokens.
Yes.
Those horns were a hindrance
to my business. They were anti-death.
And you went along with this deceit.
Your kisses were lies.
I care about the business.
She is my fiancée.
You threw her in my arms
for a few extra dead people?
Yes, yes, they're my bread and butter.
I'd fight whoever threatens my bread
and butter, by any means.
-Even with horns?
-Yes! And I had them removed.
-But she betrayed you.
-No!
-What did you do?
-Nothing, dear. I swear.
-I want the truth.
-You tell him.
I am a gentleman,
I don't tell people things like that.
-No!
-No!
-You must tell me.
-I won't tell you.
-Yes or no?
-No.
-One word is enough!
-Really?
-Yes!
-So…
-Bernarda.
-No.
FUNERAL HOME
PROFESSOR F. PUGLISI
Tilde.
Tilde.
-Tilde!
-What do you want?
-The shutter won't open.
-And it never will.
Did the lock break?
Our love broke.
-What are you saying?
-It broke!
Besides cookies for the children,
buy strawberry ice-cream.
Yes, kitten. I'll go to the cafe.
I'll buy two crunchies too.
Betrayer, traitor and immoral!
-Because I'm buying two crunchies?
-Don't be a wise guy.
I saw you kissing that girl.
No… No, my lovely kitten.
That woman… I didn't kiss her.
-You're stuttering now?
-I didn't kiss her.
She kissed me to rid me of my horns.
I don't care about the reason
you cheated on me.
Please, open up, Tilde!
Don't holler.
Don't cause a scandal. It's over.
Tomorrow, I'll ask for a legal separation.
Tilde!
Jackals! Undertakers!
You buried a family.
Tilde…
Tilde.
Tilde.
Tilde…
-Hello?
-Hello, kitten!
-Stop bothering me!
-It's Livia.
Sorry, Livia.
You're not bothering. What is it?
I'm at my mother's house with my son.
I left Carlo. Don't ask me why.
You know perfectly well.
The other day
you accidentally came out with it.
You have nothing to do with it.
I'd have found out eventually.
I can't. It's over.
I am asking for a legal separation.
What did you say?
No, not a legal separation.
Men think they can find self-assurance
in the arms of the first woman they meet.
They all feel like
Adam looking for the forbidden fruit.
Livia, if my Filippo
did something like that,
I wouldn't get mad at all.
I'd laugh about it.
Not me. I am determined.
Think about it.
I'll call you back tomorrow. Bye.
Tilde.
-You're drinking now?
-Yes.
-I want to stoop low.
-I'll pull you up.
-Let's go home.
-Will you forgive me?
For the children. Our separation
would give them a complex.
-Kitten, I won't do it again.
-Don't call me "kitten".
I forgive you, but don't use that word.
Put my husband's drinks on my bill.
-We'll take this.
-Leave it here.
We paid for it.
Love
How long must I wait
In this great silence
That talks to me about you
The leaves
That the wind is blowing away
Look like my thoughts
That are flying to you
I'd like to tell you now
The things I never told you
But all that I have left
Is the sky to look at
Love
My sadness is immense
On this autumn day
Without you
I'd like to tell you now
The things I never told you
But all that I have left
Is the sky to look at
Love
My sadness is immense
On this autumn day
Without you
Love
Love
-Good morning.
-Good morning, Mr. Carlo.
How is Maurizio?
Full of life, full of health.
Every day he becomes more handsome.
How is my wife?
Maybe I shouldn't say this,
but she has changed.
She is sad and never leaves the house.
-Does she ever talk about me?
-Never.
Dad!
You've grown so much.
You're taller than your dad.
-Really?
-Yes.
-Did you bring some candy?
-Yes. Here they are.
-Good?
-Yes.
When are you coming home?
Soon. Dad is very busy now.
There's Mom.
Why did Mom leave?
She went to get your lunch ready.
Let's go.
Bye.
-What's the matter?
-Everything!
-What?
-Everything!
It's a bit dirty,
but I haven't had any accidents.
-First!
-First… What?
-The license plate is illegible.
-I can read it perfectly.
-I can't!
-But--
-Third!
-Second!
-What?
-First, second.
-Always first and second?
-Always.
That's right. Second!
Third!
-Second.
-Second!
-You parked in the wrong direction.
-But I'm in front of my store.
All right. Third?
-Third.
-Third!
-I can't remember.
-Second and third.
License and registration!
-License and registration.
-Relax. Right away.
This is not my driver's license.
-The driver's license?
-The driver's license.
It's not here.
-Registration--
-No, your license.
-Cigarette?
-I don't smoke.
She's dead. She was my client.
If you need me--
No, thank you.
Wait.
-My license?
-Your license.
-I gave it to you.
-What?
You asked for my license
and I gave it to you
when we were bent over.
-Maybe I dropped it.
-Give it back to me.
See? I don't have it.
I gave it to you.
-The tires.
-They are all there.
-There are four plus the spare one.
-Too smooth.
-Smooth?
-Smooth.
-Fourth.
-Fourth.
-Third.
-Third.
Third. Smooth.
I'll take your license away.
You already have.
-You took my license.
-Then I'll fine you.
There.
-May I have a pen?
-A pen?
-Right away.
-You have a pen.
Did you see my…
-What?
-The ticket notepad.
-No.
-I gave it to you.
-To me?
-When you bent over.
When we bent over? Can't remember.
I gave you my driver's license.
Yes. Can you check?
-My license.
-What?
-My license!
-Your license?
Yes, my driver's license.
-Write.
-May I?
No, write.
First, the license plate is illegible.
-You can read it.
-No, I can't. Second.
I parked in a non-parking area. Third.
-But can't you see that--
-Third, the tires are too smooth.
-The tires aren't--
-The tires are smooth.
-Fourth.
-Fourth.
I parked the wrong way.
Not that one. You can turn the car around.
Who will turn it around?
-The keys and the pen.
-What? The pen.
-Give me the driver's license.
-You have it.
-Who will turn the car around?
-I will.
-There. Be careful!
-Excuse me.
-Understood? Go!
-Excuse me.
-Give me your number.
-My number?
Give me your number.
Give me the registration.
-What is your name?
-Filini.
-What?
-Filini.
Filini.
Filini.
-With one "L".
-First.
You don't have a book.
Second, you don't have a number.
Why don't you write the number here?
What number is it? Shall I write it?
-No! Third, move the car. Watch out.
-Move the car.
I'll watch out.
-Understand?
-Yes.
-Go!
-As you wish.
-If you happen to find the ticket book--
-No.
Do you have your license?
-No.
-Then you can't drive.
Get out. Close it.
You can't drive the car.
-Give me back the keys.
-Here you are.
-I'll move it. What is your name?
-Filini
-Filini, go away! Go!
-Yes. Thank you.
Understand?
Carlo often goes to see Maurizio.
I know. That is why
every morning I send him to the park.
He misses him and he misses you.
-I don't care.
-You should.
He gave up his tour
and all his other commitments.
Why did he cheat on me
with that woman?
Stop it. Don't exaggerate.
I caught Filippo too,
kissing a woman at the funeral parlor.
I forgave him to avoid losing him.
But I'd be afraid of losing him
again to just anyone.
Nothing good can come from fear.
The rest depends on you.
I have Filippo in the palm of my hand.
He won't kiss another woman for sure.
-Dad, the candy?
-I forgot them.
But I'll take care of it. Santina,
please buy them at the cafe.
-Get something for yourself.
-Be careful with Maurizio.
He is my son. How are you, young man?
A croissant and a pack of candy.
-How much is it?
-Two-hundred Liras.
Maurizio!
Maurizio!
Mr. Carlo!
Maurizio, where are you? Maurizio!
Poor me! Who will tell Ms. Livia?
-Filini, do me a favor.
-Yes, sir. Right away!
-Can you move this TV set a bit?
-Yes, sir.
Thank you.
-Thank you.
-The phone. Excuse me.
Excuse me.
-Thank you.
-At your disposal.
Puglisi Electrical Appliances.
Carlo, finally!
Where are you?
I have to come now?
What are you saying? The child?
All right, I understand. I'll rush over.
Yes.
-Miss Giuliana.
-Yes?
Could you please tell my wife
that I went to Torvaianica
because Carlo called.
-All right.
-What are you doing?
-The TV set.
-That's right.
-Will you take me to Torvaianica?
-Yes.
My wife took the car
and I'm on foot.
Do you have the 500?
The small utility car
with the dual engine that's economical,
popular with the average driver.
Do you have it?
No.
Why didn't you say that? It's urgent
and you're wasting my time.
Too bad. I described it so well.
Taxi!
Taxi!
-If you're in a rush, I'll take you.
-After what happened?
But tell me what happened
between you and Bernarda.
I'll tell you on the way.
Will you take me to Torvaianica?
-Of course.
-Thank you.
-Will it take long?
-No. Please.
-Why do I have to get in this side?
-The door is stuck.
Don't get upset. Wait.
Puglisi Electrical Appliances.
What is it, madam?
Your husband just left.
He went to Carlo's at Torvaianica.
A teacher, but rude.
-I don't understand.
-What happened with you and her?
First tell me why everyone we meet
makes the sign for horns.
Don't bother with them.
They're superstitious, like you.
-They know you.
-They know the car.
Oh, God!
-What?
-A hearse! Let me out!
Let me out!
Please!
-I have a family. Let me out!
-I can't see!
Stop!
Let me out!
Let me out!
The door opens now.
You see?
I was right. You bring bad luck.
You were taking me to the cemetery!
-You were about to kill me!
-One less jinx!
-How do I get to Torvaianica?
-By hitch-hiking!
Nobody is around.
No one stops here.
There's a hearse over there
and you look like an undertaker.
-They think I'm a caretaker too.
-What went on with you and Bernarda?
Nothing! I am chaste, pure,
and on foot because of her.
-Then I can marry her?
-Do as you please!
-Stop!
-Hey!
You and your father.
And your brother too, if you have one.
The drivers are rude,
and with your nervousness,
we'll never get to Torvaianica.
With you here...
Come with me. Come.
Let's steal those kids' bike.
Stop, kids. Stop.
-Who are you?
-Listen.
What do you want?
We are part of a charity association
that offers ice-cream to good children.
Here. Buy one each.
So that when we get off,
you'll swipe our bike.
You've got suspicious faces.
If you want them, give us 20,000 liras.
-What if I give you 10,000?
-I won't give you the bike.
He won't give you the bike.
-Give him 20,000 liras.
-All right. 20,000 liras.
Here.
-Nice kid.
-Pedal fast.
You pedal fast, you're the one in a hurry.
-The thieves were punished.
-What are you doing?
-The owner is coming.
-Scoundrels!
This is the third one you sold.
Know what I'll do?
I won't rent it to you anymore.
Look at how much
we have to run for 20,000 liras.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Uncle Filippo is coming
and he'll get your lunch ready.
When will we get there?
-How tiring.
-When will we get there?
What are you doing? Stop.
This is it.
Here. This is it.
-Here.
-Ouch, my legs.
Ouch.
-What happened to Maurizio?
-Nothing.
Why did you have me rush over here?
-Maurizio is with me.
-Did Livia give him to you?
No. I took him from Santina.
Did you kidnap your son?
Kidnap him? He's my son.
It's still kidnapping.
What if something happens to the boy?
Be quiet. Don't go on.
Your profession is socially dangerous.
-This boy is perfectly healthy!
-Yes, but he has to eat.
-I don't know how to make his food.
-What food?
He eats macaroni and sausages.
Uncle Filippo will take care
of our handsome Maurizio.
-Honey. Where is the kitchen?
-This way.
-Aldini, come with me.
-With pleasure.
When it comes to accompanying…
You are obsessed with accompanying people.
Your lunch is coming.
-Aldini.
-Yes?
Turn it on.
-Four candles?
-The gas.
You have to turn on-- The bell?
-How do you turn on the bell?
-The doorbell!
-Who can it be?
-Who can it be?
-Hide the boy.
-Maurizio, come here.
-Let's play hide-and-seek.
-Let's play.
You shouldn't have done this.
Where is the child?
-Tell me.
-Over there. Come.
-You were going along with him.
-He had to eat.
-You're an accomplice to kidnapping.
-Don't be ridiculous.
-Accomplice? Carlo is his father.
-His mother is outside.
-Give him to me.
-No. Maurizio stays with me.
Livia is desperate. She thinks
you've taken him away forever.
I just wanted him all to myself for a day.
Carlo, give him to her.
This is not the best way to fix things.
Forgive me. I find no other words
to justify my gesture.
Go with Mom.
Dad, are you coming with us?
Dad will come later. I am busy now.
Go with Mom.
Let's all three of us go.
Why won't you come?
What do you have to do?
The time to depart has come.
Enough of these funeral words.
You're a continuous obituary.
Can't you see he's suffering?
Suffering. Obituary.
It's become contagious.
The waves of the sea
Are there
Here on the beach
I think of you
The sun sets over me
What do I care
If you are not here
This sun no longer warms me
It is too cold at the bottom of my heart
Love, come back
In my soul there remains
A great need for you
This sun no longer warms me
In my mind there is a cold goodbye
Love, come back
In my soul I feel
A great need for you
Happy seagulls over me
If I could, I would fly too
Far away to look for you
The summer is sad
If you are not here
This sun no longer warms me
In my mind there is a cold goodbye
Love, come back
It remains in my soul
Carlo!
Carlo!
Dad!
THE END