Peek-a-Boo (1953) - full transcript
A filmed record of a burlesque show featuring strippers and comedians.
(fanfare music)
(lively music)
(jazzy music)
(upbeat music)
Ladies and gentlemen!
I crave your attention!
He craves your attention!
We have a hundred freaks
or more,
too numerous to mention.
Too numerous to mention!
Why, it's greatest aggregation
to have to entertain the nation.
And for your information,
we have searched
over all creation.
And for your information,
we have searched
over all creation.
Now, there's our pet, Miss Lulu,
she's a favorite with the women.
She weighs just 700 pounds
when she goes in a-swimming.
She weighs just 700 pounds
when she goes in a-swimming.
And there's Jo-Jo,
the dog-faced boy,
the Siamese twins, and others.
The skinny living skeleton man,
the clever armless brother.
A wild man straight from Borneo
and the man that's turning blue!
And eats him alive
and the tattooed lady, too.
Now all these interesting freaks
from every land and clan,
and all we charge you here today
is the small sum of a dime.
And all we charge you here today
is the small sum of a dime.
Ah, one moment, please,
I must announce,
our feature card today.
That hula-hula maiden
from the island, Hawaii!
(traditional hula music)
That, ladies and gentlemen,
is only a sample
of what we have on the inside.
On the inside,
we have Little Egypt.
Little Egypt, she does
an ancient oriental dance,
the dance of Salome,
the dance of the Seven Veils,
the same dance
that cost John the Baptist
his head.
How she wiggles,
how she quivers,
just like your mother
used to make jelly
on a frosty morning.
Why, this show is like
an old pair of socks.
The longer you wear 'em,
the stronger it gets.
An old man 89 years old
walking on crutches,
smoking a corn cob pipe,
he went in there
to see that little lady dance.
After seeing her dance,
he came out,
threw his crutches away,
holding his corn cob
in his hand,
ran down the street
hollering fire.
I'll tell you, neighbors,
it's hotter than Hades.
The band plays,
the performers retire.
The show starts right away!
Everybody!
(fanfare music)
Hurry, get your tickets!
(indistinct shouting)
It's never out and never over.
- Hello, hello!
- Well, neighbor,
what did you think
of our little show?
- I didn't like it.
- What's the trouble with it?
- No monkeys!
- No monkeys.
How would you like
to go with the show?
- I'm no monkey.
- That's right.
Everyone knows you're no monkey.
- A monkey has a tail!
- Yeah, that's my trouble.
And you don't want any tail.
All right, neighbor,
but how would you like
to go with the show
and go to work with the show?
- Go to work with the show?
- That's right!
- I would like that!
- All you have to do
is stick your head
in a little hole.
That's it?
There's the hole
right over there.
- Oh, yeah.
- You see, you put your head
in that hole,
the town boys come along
and throw baseballs
at your head.
- At my head?
- That's right.
(unintelligible),
hit my brother!
He don't care
what happens to him.
Now, now, wait a minute.
I assure you that
there's no danger.
- See that?
- What's that?
That's what we call
a little protector.
- Protector?
- Now, you place the cap
on your head.
Now then shoot the ball,
hit the cap.
The ball bounces off of the cap.
I repeat, the ball bounces
off of the cap.
Yeah, but what makes the ball
bounce off of the cap?
I repeat, what makes the ball
bounce off of the cap?
My head! See you later.
Now, now, now,
wait a minute, neighbor.
I'm gonna show you something
that absolutely
even you didn't realize.
- Oh, yeah?
- You see this here?
- Yes, sir.
- This is what they throw at you!
- It didn't even bounce.
- What do you care?
If it hits you,
then you can quit.
Well, if it hits me,
I won't have to quit.
Look, I was only kidding you.
This is what
they'll throw at you.
- Oh, a rubber ball!
- Of course!
- Wouldn't hurt you with that.
- No!
Now put the cap on
and get your head in the hole.
- Okay.
- I'll see if we can't get
some customers right away.
- Send them in!
- All right.
Alrighty, folks, step right up.
Knock his brains out
for 10 cents.
Anyone at all!
What's the trouble now,
neighbor?
Don't tell them,
"Knock my brains out"
- for 10 cents!”
- Why not?
- They might do it!
- You haven't any brains.
- That's why I'm here!
- All right, now,
get your head in the hole.
See if we can't get
some customers here.
Alrighty, folks, step right up,
try your luck here.
(laughing)
Look at the little monkey!
(laughing)
- I'm no monkey!
- All right,
she knows you're no monkey,
everyone does.
Would you like to try your luck?
Three balls for a dime.
There you are,
thank you very kindly, lady.
Pitch 'em high, pitch 'em low.
In the heights,
and then away they go.
First one, she missed
the little man.
Second one, she missed
the little man.
Third one, she missed
the little man.
Well, I guess I'm not throwing
very well today.
- No.
- But I'll be back tomorrow
- to try my luck on you!
- Uh-huh.
- Well.
- Hey, hey, hey, just a minute,
- where are you going?
- I'm gonna try my luck on her!
You'll do nothing of the kind.
Get back in that hole there.
Hurry up, get in there!
Who do you think you are
anyways?
Alrighty, folks, step right up.
- Well, Bob Levin!
- Why, Leon... ooh!
- What's the trouble, Bob?
- Leon, I've got a sore arm.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Bob.
Sorry, sorry.
- Bad shape.
- Yeah.
Hey, what happened
to that little colored boy
- that was here yesterday?
- Colored boy?
Yeah.
He died, this morning.
Well, it's not my fault.
I only threw one ball.
Yes, the ball just seemed
to stick in his skull.
- Psst, come here.
- Pardon me, Bob.
Something troubling you?
What happened
to that colored boy?
Shh, that's the fella
that killed the colored boy
yesterday.
(laughing)
- What am I laughing at?
- Ah, but don't worry.
- He's got a sore arm.
- Oh, yeah?
- Can't get it up.
- That's my trouble.
Oh, you can get your head up
in that hole.
- Now get in there.
- Okay.
Bob, the boy's
a little bit dubious
about your arm.
Would you mind tossing one over
just to show him
how sore the arm is?
- Not at all!
- Okay.
- I'd be very glad to.
- Okay.
Oh.
Oh, poor Bob.
I'm sorry for you, Bob.
- Bob!
- Yeah.
- Big 20-game winner.
- That's right.
Let him throw all the balls.
- No.
- Let him throw the iron ball.
- Yeah?
- Sure.
Okay, Bob, here you are.
Throw one over the pan, boy!
Thatta boy.
- Hey, wait!
- What's the trouble now?
What's this winding up
business here?
He's just limbering up his arm.
Don't limber up my head here!
Don't worry, rubber balls.
- Oh, rubber balls!
- That's the idea, sure!
All right, Bob,
sock it in, get a baby doll.
- That's all, that's all!
- What"♪ the trouble?
That's it, I quit!
See, I told you! He missed!
Everything but the hole!
- He didn't get you.
- No, but he almost did.
All right, now get in there
and give him a chance!
- Give him a chance.
- Okay, Bob, now try another one
over the pan, boy!
Limber up that old arm,
sock it in, get a baby doll!
- Here we go!
- That's all!
- What"♪ the matter now?
- I'm going home.
- Why?
- I forgot something.
- What did you forget?
- I forgot to stay there.
Oh, come here,
now, wait a minute.
Don't worry, everything
is gonna be all right.
If you go home now,
you'll only have to walk!
- Yeah!
- Wait a while.
We'll carry you home.
- In a wagon!
- Get in there, will ya?
All right, Bob, come on.
Try your luck once more, boy.
Sock it in, get a baby doll!
Oh, the old spirit, thatta boy.
Sock it in, get a baby doll.
Well, you missed him that time.
- I missed him.
- He missed!
Well, I'll be back tomorrow.
- And I'll kill that bum.
- Yeah?
I won't even be here,
what do you think of that?
Well, hello, Virginia.
How are you there, gal?
Certainly glad to see you.
- How are you doing there, kid?
- Just fine.
Say, Leon, I've been looking
all over the midway for a beer!
Do you know where
I can get a beer?
A bottle of beer?
Why, certainly, sis.
Stand right over here, can do.
Hey, boy, come on down here,
will you, quickly?
- Yes, sir!
- Run out and get us
a bottle of beer, will you?
- Right away.
- Bottle of beer!
Hey, wait a minute!
You forgot to give me
some money.
- Money!
- Money!
Why I'm surprised at you.
Anyone can get beer with money!
The idea is to get beer
without money!
Well, then you're
doing something!
Oh, I never thought of that!
Try to get a bottle of beer
around here without any money,
he'll get his neck broke,
that's all that's going
to happen to him.
(laughing)
Son of a gun,
if he didn't get beer.
Well, here... hey, wait a minute.
That bottle is empty.
There isn't any beer in that!
Well, anybody can drink beer
out of a full bottle!
Drink beer
out of an empty bottle
- and you're doing something!
- Ah.
(dramatic music)
Presenting Sherry Winters,
The Yum Yum Girl.
(mellow music)
(applause)
All right, folks, step right up.
I've got one of
the greatest little cure-alls
ever placed on the market.
Good for rheumatism,
hypnotism, stigmatism,
and will eradicate communism.
Very good for the promotion
of Americanism.
Step right up!
How do you do there, neighbor?
How are you doing there?
Why, boy, you're looking bad.
You're looking weak,
you're looking beat!
Since the last time
you left town, I feel very bad!
Well, just grab a hold
of those electrodes there
and I'll give you
a little treatment,
make you feel...
There you are, now,
how are you feeling now, son?
Doc, I haven't felt like this
ever since I've been a baby.
Hey, look, you know something?
I've got a good proposition
for you, boy.
- You have?
- You know, I'm manufacturing
these machines,
I need people to take them out
and place them on the market.
How about you taking
this machine, taking it out.
Whatever monies you get,
we'll split 50/50.
All right!
I'd be tickled to do that.
That's a good idea.
Now, then, of course,
you'll have to be a doctor.
- Oh, I'm a doctor.
- I would have to have
- a name for you.
- Gotta give me a name.
Let's see, what are
we gonna call you?
- No, we can't call you that.
- Everybody calls me that.
I have it,
we'll call you Dr. Stoopnagle!
- Stoopnagle, very good name.
- Very good name.
Now then, remember,
whatever monies you get,
we'll charge them,
and you split with me 50/50.
I give you 50/50, don't worry.
Here comes a patient
right now, boy.
There is a patient there.
Oh, Doctor! Where's the doctor?
Madam, I am surprised at you.
Standing before you
is one of the greatest doctors
that ever had the pleasure
of gracing this grand universe.
Only last night, he performed
a marvelous operation
upon a young lady,
didn't you, doctor?
- I did, I did.
- That he did, that he did!
Oh, last night I performed
a wonderful operation.
I removed a young lady's kimono!
- And boy, did she scream.
- Oh, she just yelled
all over the place.
What seems to be your trouble,
little girl?
Oh, Doctor,
I've got appendicitis!
Oh, you heard that?
She's got a-pin-in-the-seatus!
No, no, appendicitis.
- Give her a treatment, Doctor.
- Oh, a treatment!
Now, ah, ah, ah!
Give it to her through the box.
- I'll never make it.
- Oh, yes, you will, certainly.
Look, the electrodes
go right into her hand.
Put them in her hand
and give her a treatment.
That's the idea,
just hold on to that.
That's the idea.
How do you feel, baby?
Oh, Doctor!
I feel so good!
Oh, Doctor, I feel so good!
Oh, Doctor! I feel so good!
- I cured her, Doc, I cured her!
- Now, come on, give me half.
- Half of what?
- Half of the money.
I didn't get no money!
Look, son, you've got to keep
your mind on the race,
otherwise, you and I are gonna
split partnership right now.
- Okay, okay!
- All right!
Another patient,
someone is sick, yes, sir.
Where's the doctor?
Oh, my, where's the doctor?
- Oh, the doctor!
- Don't get excited!
- Here's the doctor!
- That's the doctor right there.
Now, what is wrong with you,
young lady?
I've got cirrhosis of the liver!
- Oh, this is terrible!
- What's terrible?
She's got roaches on her liver.
No, no, no,
cirrhosis of the liver.
- Oh, cirrhosis of the liver.
- Give her a treatment now.
- A treatment.
- That's the idea, sure!
Here grab, go ahead.
How do you feel now?
Oh, Doctor, I feel so good!
Oh, Doctor, I feel so good!
Oh, Doctor! I feel so good!
I think I'll give myself
a treatment.
Ah, now look, now, come on,
- give me the money.
- What money?
The money
for the treatment, son.
Oh, I forgot
all about the money!
Look, now, if you don't
get the money now,
you and I are gonna have
to call it quits.
Next time, you get the money.
Another customer, boy,
you've got to...
Where's the doctor? Oh, oh!
There he is right over here.
- This is the doctor, madam.
- Over here.
What's the matter
with you, baby?
Oh, I've got
a terrible toothache!
Oh, brother, I didn't know
the roots ran down that far.
Well, bud, it looks as though
you're gonna have
to go over there
and fill a cavity.
Wait a minute.
I am a doctor, not a dentist.
Well, go over there
and jerk it out.
- The tooth, the tooth!
- Oh, sure!
That's right.
Now, grab a hold of that.
Oh, I've never had anything
like this in my hands before!
I wonder where
she's from now, huh?
Well, you'd better
give her a treatment
and cure her toothache, boy.
Here, just grab them,
they're not gonna
hurt you at all.
Now, how do you like that?
Oh, Doctor! I feel so good!
Oh, Doctor, I feel so good!
Oh, Doctor, I feel so good!
Ah?
Well, she feels good.
How do you feel, Doctor?
I feel all right,
but that guy's sweating
Virginia Valentine!
(jazzy music)
(applause)
(upbeat music)
There will always be a love song
while there's you to sing it to.
Though the sun may lose
its splendor,
and the shining stars
may fade from view.
There will always be a love song
in my heart and memory, too.
And from now until forever,
I'll keep on singing it for you.
If ever we part, dear,
you'll remain in my heart, dear.
Regardless of what you do,
I'll always be in love with you.
There will always be a love song
in my heart all of life through.
And though seas run dry
and blossoms die,
there'll always be
a love song for you
(lively music)
(dramatic music)
(upbeat music)
Jennie Lee in her own version
of Diamond Nell.
(jazzy music)
(applause)
All right, now, you said,
you promised me
I'll take you out and show you
the sights of the city!
- That's what I wanna see.
- Things that you have
never seen before,
The Palace of Passion.
- The Palace of Passion.
- Oh, what a spot.
Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute,
where are you going?
- Don't stop me!
- Don't stop you?
- Don't stop me.
- Why not?
Something terrible
just happened down at my house.
What terrible happened
at your house?
You know my little black cat?
- Yeah.
- Just ate a box of Ex-Lax.
- Well, how's your cat?
- She's in business for herself.
- No kidding.
- She's got eight cats
- working for her.
- Honest?
Four digging, three covering up,
and one looking
for new territory.
- Oh, no.
- I'll see you later.
Hey, no, no, wait a minute.
- Tell him, Johnny.
- Oh, we're going down
to The Palace of Passion!
Palace... what's
The Palace of Passion?
- Oh, girls, girls, girls!
- Girls?
Yeah, we're going down there
to dig up a couple of girls.
Don't dig "em up!"
Let's get a couple
of lives ones!
No, no, you don't understand.
This is a place
where you get girls
- of all nationalities.
- Oh, any kind you want?
Any kind you want!
You know the kind of girl
I would like to get?
- I haven't the least idea.
- A little Chinese girl.
- Why do want a Chinese girl?
- I want to find out something.
I'm not gonna ask him.
- Go ahead, Johnny.
- I'll ask him.
- All right.
- What do you wanna find out?
- Who's gonna win the war?
- Oh, man.
- Well, I'd like to know!
- You had me worried there
- for a minute, son.
- I did, huh?
I'll tell you, Jack, man,
you got me worried!
I'm gonna tell you something
right now.
This place here, you can get
any nationality you want.
But there's a peculiarity
about the place.
- What, what?
- Well, you have to ring a bell.
- Ring a bell?
- Now, the amount of times
that you ring the bell
designates the type of a girl
- that you're going to get.
- For instance...
For instance,
you ring the bell once,
you get a little Dutch girl!
- A little Dutch girl!
- That's right.
You ring the bell twice,
you get a little Hawaiian girl!
- Yeah?
- Ring the bell three times...
- Yeah?
- A little French girl.
Well, lead on, Paul Revere!
- May be your last ride.
- Okay!
- Here we are!
- Yeah.
Oh, we should've taken a cab.
- Good old PP.
- What's PP?
- Palace of Passion.
- Oh, Palace of Passion!
Well, gentlemen,
I am going Dutch.
- Going Dutch?
- He's going Dutch.
I'm going to get
a little Dutch girl.
A little Dutcher!
(bright music)
(drumming)
- Okay, huh?
- Yeah.
-So, boy...
-Tell me,
are you a little Dutch girl?
Mm, ja.
Boy, look at the English
she put on that "ja."
And do you like sauerkraut
and wieners?
Oh, I have lots of sauerkraut.
Yeah, and I got a big...
- Ah, ah, ah!
- pot to cook 'em in, too!
Yeah.
Well, gentlemen,
I am going to take
- a lesson in Dutch.
- Lesson in Dutch?
- Will you excuse me?
- Go right ahead, Johnny,
go ahead.
I get the next one,
I get the next one.
-Next one is...
-Oh, mama!
Oh, daddy!
Oh!
- There goes the sauerkraut.
- Oh, no.
Mhm, yes sir!
Oh, boy!
Well, how did you like that?
Mm, ja!
It's all right, huh?
- You heard what she said.
- What'd she say?
She said, "Mmmmm, ja!"
What was that again?
She said, "Mmmmm, ja!"
How many times I have
to hit the gong to get him?
Ooh, about...
(indistinct chatter)
No, no, I want him, he's mine...
- Here, here, here!
- Huh?
- I seen him first.
- I am going to get myself
- a little Hawaiian girl.
- Good, good!
- Hawaiian!
- Hawaiian!
Yes sir!
(piano music)
I think I'll hit the hay.
Oh, no, no, no, wait a minute.
- Just a minute.
- Huh?
A little Hawaiian girl.
Oh, are you
a little Hawaiian girl?
Wiki waki!
If I had your wiki,
I'd raise the devil
with your waki.
Yeah, hey,
look at all the grass!
Yes, and I have
a good lawnmower.
Yeah, I got a pretty good
old sickle myself.
- Oh, no.
- Yeah!
Say something in Hawaiian.
- Boola-boola!
- What's this "boola-boola"?
Boola-boola is "goodbye"
in Hawaiian!
Well, carbolic acid!
- What's that?
- "Goodbye" in any language.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Well, I think I am going
to take a little lesson
- in Hawaiian!
- In Hawaiian!
- That's right.
- But don't forget
- the next one is mine!
- Okay.
- I gotta have one, too!
- Oh, baby!
Oh, daddy!
Oh, my, my!
Oh, daddy!
(blowing raspberries)
What do you think of that?
Hey, did you get your lesson
in Hawaiian?
That I did, that I did.
I'm gonna get myself
a little French girl!
Good for you, Jack!
Glad to hear you say that,
old boy, yessir!
(bell ringing)
France!
(laughing)
Oh, yeah.
She carries her own sword.
- Free France.
- Oh, boy! Oh, no!
Oh, ho, ho, ho!
Are you a little French girl?
Qui-oui!
Now she's gonna oui-oui
all over the place!
Oui-oui means "yes" in Franc.
- What's that?
- Oui-oui,
it means "yes" in Franc.
- Kiss me.
- Oh, get outta here.
- Yeah!
- You kiss me, yes?
- That's his job.
- Oh, no, no.
All she says was,
"Monsieur, you kiss me, yes?"
Oh, you, too?
- You do not understand.
- No?
In her country,
that is a great honor!
Yeah, that's how you hold
your job in this country.
Yeah.
(speaking French)
Monsieur, kiss me!
Wait, wait, wait,
I'll lay down, make it easier!
Oh, no, no, no, you don't.
Oh, Monsieur, kiss me, kiss me!
Oh, that's all,
that's all, that's all.
Oh, Monsieur!
You do not know
what you do to me!
You don't know
what you've done to me!
I learned a lesson in French!
- Good for you, Jack!
- I'll see you!
- Thatta boy! Take it easy!
- Hold the fort!
Remember you're not
put together any too well, son!
Oh, mama!
Oh, daddy!
- Oh, mama!
- Oh, no.
- Oh, daddy!
- Oh, mama!
(shouting)
Whoo!
- Hey, Jack.
- What?
Did you take your lesson
in French?
Lesson, nothin',
I got my diploma!
Oh, no!
Oh, no, no, no.
Here's Suzette, the French doll!
(dramatic music)
(applause)
- Well, Leon!
- Johnny, how are ya?
My good friend Leon,
am I ever glad to see you.
You look beat, Johnny,
what's the trouble?
Beat? Beat is no word
for trouble.
- I've got lots of trouble.
- What's your trouble?
I can't get along with my girl.
- Huh?
- Oh, every time I see her,
she's so cold, Leon,
I don't know what's the matter.
She won't react to anything.
Oh, she don't wanna make
hubba hubba with you, huh?
- She just won't... you know.
- Look, Johnny,
I've got something here
that's really the McCoy.
- What do you mean?
- See that stuff there?
- Passion candy.
- Passion candy?
Not so loud, not so loud.
Give your girl
a little bit of this candy
and she can't resist you.
She'll fall in love with you
immediately!
- You mean that works?
- That's right.
- Well, give me some!
- It's valuable,
- worth five dollars a box!
- Well, that's cheap
- at half the price!
- You buy?
- Here's five bucks.
- Okay, fella, now,
be careful, it's passion candy.
Give her a little bit,
she'll fall in love with you.
- Oh, gee, thanks a lot!
- Be careful!
Oh, you'll be my pal forever,
believe me.
- Oh, there you are, Johnny!
- Hello, honey! Hello, baby.
Well, what are
we gonna do tonight?
Well, first of all,
I have some candy here for you.
- Oh, candy again?
- Well, come on, have some.
- Oh, all right.
- Yeah.
- Mm!
- Mm?
This tastes pretty good,
I think I'll have some more!
All right, huh? Go ahead.
Oh, what is this strange feeling
coming all over me?
- Yeah.
- Oh, Johnny, let's go home!
Yeah, let"♪ go home...
Wait a minute, baby,
I'll be right with you.
How 'bout that? Let's hurry up.
(humming and laughing)
- Oh, hello, Suzie!
- Hello, Billy!
- How are you, baby?
- Fine!
You remember what today is,
don't you?
Oh, do I remember?
I'll never forget.
Today is your birthday!
That's what it is today!
And you promised me
a box of candy.
Son of a gun, yeah,
I promised you a box of candy.
Yes, I did, so you sit down
on the bench.
You know, any time
I promise you candy, why...
Mhm. Any time
I promise you candy,
I always buy you candy.
Here's a nice box of candy.
Finest candy store in town.
Well, how thoughtful of you.
Yeah, four pounds for 50 cents.
- I hear you like candy?
- Oh, yes.
Here, taste of that, taste some.
It's all for you,
it's all for you.
- How do you like it?
- It's not bad!
Not bad, sure!
I always buy good candy.
(chuckling)
Very good, very good candy.
Here, have some more.
How do you like that? Huh?
- Huh?
- What's yours, Billy?
- What?
- What's yours?
- What's yours?
- Mine's chocolate, what's yours?
Mine's raisin.
Here, have some of mine, too.
I think you'll like mine.
How do you like it?
Oh, what's this strange feeling
coming all over me?
Strange feeling coming over you?
- Uh-huh?
- Here, have some more!
I feel kind of funny myself,
you know that?
- Oh, Billy!
- Hm?
- Make love to me!
- Oh, get away.
- Hug me! Kiss me!
- Oh, get away!
- Oh, Billy!
- You mean it?
- Oh, yes! Hug me!
- Okay.
- Kiss me!
- Okay, I do you a favor.
- Take me home right away!
- Come on, I make love to you.
Let's go home.
I'll take you right home.
Well, I have a few minutes
before I have to go to work.
I'll just sit down
and read this book!
Well, isn't this nice?
Somebody left some candy!
Mm, tastes very good.
Mm! What is this strange feeling
coming over me?
Oh! Oh!
Oh, if I only had someone
to make love to me!
Oh, if I only had a man!
Billy, won't you have
some candy?
No, thanks, just had a piece.
The TNT Girl,
Dynamic Patti Brunelle!
(mellow music)
(jazzy music)
(upbeat music)
(applause)
And our star,
the Body Beautiful, Venus!
(mellow music)
(soft sultry music)
(upbeat music)
(applause)
In concluding our performance,
ladies and gentlemen,
we present, once again,
the lovely members of our cast.
The DuPonts!
(applause)
Sherry Winters!
Virginia Valentine!
Suzette!
Jennie Lee!
Patti Brunelle!
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
we proudly present
the star of our show,
the most beautiful body
in burlesque,
Venus!
(applause)
(lively music)
(lively music)
(jazzy music)
(upbeat music)
Ladies and gentlemen!
I crave your attention!
He craves your attention!
We have a hundred freaks
or more,
too numerous to mention.
Too numerous to mention!
Why, it's greatest aggregation
to have to entertain the nation.
And for your information,
we have searched
over all creation.
And for your information,
we have searched
over all creation.
Now, there's our pet, Miss Lulu,
she's a favorite with the women.
She weighs just 700 pounds
when she goes in a-swimming.
She weighs just 700 pounds
when she goes in a-swimming.
And there's Jo-Jo,
the dog-faced boy,
the Siamese twins, and others.
The skinny living skeleton man,
the clever armless brother.
A wild man straight from Borneo
and the man that's turning blue!
And eats him alive
and the tattooed lady, too.
Now all these interesting freaks
from every land and clan,
and all we charge you here today
is the small sum of a dime.
And all we charge you here today
is the small sum of a dime.
Ah, one moment, please,
I must announce,
our feature card today.
That hula-hula maiden
from the island, Hawaii!
(traditional hula music)
That, ladies and gentlemen,
is only a sample
of what we have on the inside.
On the inside,
we have Little Egypt.
Little Egypt, she does
an ancient oriental dance,
the dance of Salome,
the dance of the Seven Veils,
the same dance
that cost John the Baptist
his head.
How she wiggles,
how she quivers,
just like your mother
used to make jelly
on a frosty morning.
Why, this show is like
an old pair of socks.
The longer you wear 'em,
the stronger it gets.
An old man 89 years old
walking on crutches,
smoking a corn cob pipe,
he went in there
to see that little lady dance.
After seeing her dance,
he came out,
threw his crutches away,
holding his corn cob
in his hand,
ran down the street
hollering fire.
I'll tell you, neighbors,
it's hotter than Hades.
The band plays,
the performers retire.
The show starts right away!
Everybody!
(fanfare music)
Hurry, get your tickets!
(indistinct shouting)
It's never out and never over.
- Hello, hello!
- Well, neighbor,
what did you think
of our little show?
- I didn't like it.
- What's the trouble with it?
- No monkeys!
- No monkeys.
How would you like
to go with the show?
- I'm no monkey.
- That's right.
Everyone knows you're no monkey.
- A monkey has a tail!
- Yeah, that's my trouble.
And you don't want any tail.
All right, neighbor,
but how would you like
to go with the show
and go to work with the show?
- Go to work with the show?
- That's right!
- I would like that!
- All you have to do
is stick your head
in a little hole.
That's it?
There's the hole
right over there.
- Oh, yeah.
- You see, you put your head
in that hole,
the town boys come along
and throw baseballs
at your head.
- At my head?
- That's right.
(unintelligible),
hit my brother!
He don't care
what happens to him.
Now, now, wait a minute.
I assure you that
there's no danger.
- See that?
- What's that?
That's what we call
a little protector.
- Protector?
- Now, you place the cap
on your head.
Now then shoot the ball,
hit the cap.
The ball bounces off of the cap.
I repeat, the ball bounces
off of the cap.
Yeah, but what makes the ball
bounce off of the cap?
I repeat, what makes the ball
bounce off of the cap?
My head! See you later.
Now, now, now,
wait a minute, neighbor.
I'm gonna show you something
that absolutely
even you didn't realize.
- Oh, yeah?
- You see this here?
- Yes, sir.
- This is what they throw at you!
- It didn't even bounce.
- What do you care?
If it hits you,
then you can quit.
Well, if it hits me,
I won't have to quit.
Look, I was only kidding you.
This is what
they'll throw at you.
- Oh, a rubber ball!
- Of course!
- Wouldn't hurt you with that.
- No!
Now put the cap on
and get your head in the hole.
- Okay.
- I'll see if we can't get
some customers right away.
- Send them in!
- All right.
Alrighty, folks, step right up.
Knock his brains out
for 10 cents.
Anyone at all!
What's the trouble now,
neighbor?
Don't tell them,
"Knock my brains out"
- for 10 cents!”
- Why not?
- They might do it!
- You haven't any brains.
- That's why I'm here!
- All right, now,
get your head in the hole.
See if we can't get
some customers here.
Alrighty, folks, step right up,
try your luck here.
(laughing)
Look at the little monkey!
(laughing)
- I'm no monkey!
- All right,
she knows you're no monkey,
everyone does.
Would you like to try your luck?
Three balls for a dime.
There you are,
thank you very kindly, lady.
Pitch 'em high, pitch 'em low.
In the heights,
and then away they go.
First one, she missed
the little man.
Second one, she missed
the little man.
Third one, she missed
the little man.
Well, I guess I'm not throwing
very well today.
- No.
- But I'll be back tomorrow
- to try my luck on you!
- Uh-huh.
- Well.
- Hey, hey, hey, just a minute,
- where are you going?
- I'm gonna try my luck on her!
You'll do nothing of the kind.
Get back in that hole there.
Hurry up, get in there!
Who do you think you are
anyways?
Alrighty, folks, step right up.
- Well, Bob Levin!
- Why, Leon... ooh!
- What's the trouble, Bob?
- Leon, I've got a sore arm.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Bob.
Sorry, sorry.
- Bad shape.
- Yeah.
Hey, what happened
to that little colored boy
- that was here yesterday?
- Colored boy?
Yeah.
He died, this morning.
Well, it's not my fault.
I only threw one ball.
Yes, the ball just seemed
to stick in his skull.
- Psst, come here.
- Pardon me, Bob.
Something troubling you?
What happened
to that colored boy?
Shh, that's the fella
that killed the colored boy
yesterday.
(laughing)
- What am I laughing at?
- Ah, but don't worry.
- He's got a sore arm.
- Oh, yeah?
- Can't get it up.
- That's my trouble.
Oh, you can get your head up
in that hole.
- Now get in there.
- Okay.
Bob, the boy's
a little bit dubious
about your arm.
Would you mind tossing one over
just to show him
how sore the arm is?
- Not at all!
- Okay.
- I'd be very glad to.
- Okay.
Oh.
Oh, poor Bob.
I'm sorry for you, Bob.
- Bob!
- Yeah.
- Big 20-game winner.
- That's right.
Let him throw all the balls.
- No.
- Let him throw the iron ball.
- Yeah?
- Sure.
Okay, Bob, here you are.
Throw one over the pan, boy!
Thatta boy.
- Hey, wait!
- What's the trouble now?
What's this winding up
business here?
He's just limbering up his arm.
Don't limber up my head here!
Don't worry, rubber balls.
- Oh, rubber balls!
- That's the idea, sure!
All right, Bob,
sock it in, get a baby doll.
- That's all, that's all!
- What"♪ the trouble?
That's it, I quit!
See, I told you! He missed!
Everything but the hole!
- He didn't get you.
- No, but he almost did.
All right, now get in there
and give him a chance!
- Give him a chance.
- Okay, Bob, now try another one
over the pan, boy!
Limber up that old arm,
sock it in, get a baby doll!
- Here we go!
- That's all!
- What"♪ the matter now?
- I'm going home.
- Why?
- I forgot something.
- What did you forget?
- I forgot to stay there.
Oh, come here,
now, wait a minute.
Don't worry, everything
is gonna be all right.
If you go home now,
you'll only have to walk!
- Yeah!
- Wait a while.
We'll carry you home.
- In a wagon!
- Get in there, will ya?
All right, Bob, come on.
Try your luck once more, boy.
Sock it in, get a baby doll!
Oh, the old spirit, thatta boy.
Sock it in, get a baby doll.
Well, you missed him that time.
- I missed him.
- He missed!
Well, I'll be back tomorrow.
- And I'll kill that bum.
- Yeah?
I won't even be here,
what do you think of that?
Well, hello, Virginia.
How are you there, gal?
Certainly glad to see you.
- How are you doing there, kid?
- Just fine.
Say, Leon, I've been looking
all over the midway for a beer!
Do you know where
I can get a beer?
A bottle of beer?
Why, certainly, sis.
Stand right over here, can do.
Hey, boy, come on down here,
will you, quickly?
- Yes, sir!
- Run out and get us
a bottle of beer, will you?
- Right away.
- Bottle of beer!
Hey, wait a minute!
You forgot to give me
some money.
- Money!
- Money!
Why I'm surprised at you.
Anyone can get beer with money!
The idea is to get beer
without money!
Well, then you're
doing something!
Oh, I never thought of that!
Try to get a bottle of beer
around here without any money,
he'll get his neck broke,
that's all that's going
to happen to him.
(laughing)
Son of a gun,
if he didn't get beer.
Well, here... hey, wait a minute.
That bottle is empty.
There isn't any beer in that!
Well, anybody can drink beer
out of a full bottle!
Drink beer
out of an empty bottle
- and you're doing something!
- Ah.
(dramatic music)
Presenting Sherry Winters,
The Yum Yum Girl.
(mellow music)
(applause)
All right, folks, step right up.
I've got one of
the greatest little cure-alls
ever placed on the market.
Good for rheumatism,
hypnotism, stigmatism,
and will eradicate communism.
Very good for the promotion
of Americanism.
Step right up!
How do you do there, neighbor?
How are you doing there?
Why, boy, you're looking bad.
You're looking weak,
you're looking beat!
Since the last time
you left town, I feel very bad!
Well, just grab a hold
of those electrodes there
and I'll give you
a little treatment,
make you feel...
There you are, now,
how are you feeling now, son?
Doc, I haven't felt like this
ever since I've been a baby.
Hey, look, you know something?
I've got a good proposition
for you, boy.
- You have?
- You know, I'm manufacturing
these machines,
I need people to take them out
and place them on the market.
How about you taking
this machine, taking it out.
Whatever monies you get,
we'll split 50/50.
All right!
I'd be tickled to do that.
That's a good idea.
Now, then, of course,
you'll have to be a doctor.
- Oh, I'm a doctor.
- I would have to have
- a name for you.
- Gotta give me a name.
Let's see, what are
we gonna call you?
- No, we can't call you that.
- Everybody calls me that.
I have it,
we'll call you Dr. Stoopnagle!
- Stoopnagle, very good name.
- Very good name.
Now then, remember,
whatever monies you get,
we'll charge them,
and you split with me 50/50.
I give you 50/50, don't worry.
Here comes a patient
right now, boy.
There is a patient there.
Oh, Doctor! Where's the doctor?
Madam, I am surprised at you.
Standing before you
is one of the greatest doctors
that ever had the pleasure
of gracing this grand universe.
Only last night, he performed
a marvelous operation
upon a young lady,
didn't you, doctor?
- I did, I did.
- That he did, that he did!
Oh, last night I performed
a wonderful operation.
I removed a young lady's kimono!
- And boy, did she scream.
- Oh, she just yelled
all over the place.
What seems to be your trouble,
little girl?
Oh, Doctor,
I've got appendicitis!
Oh, you heard that?
She's got a-pin-in-the-seatus!
No, no, appendicitis.
- Give her a treatment, Doctor.
- Oh, a treatment!
Now, ah, ah, ah!
Give it to her through the box.
- I'll never make it.
- Oh, yes, you will, certainly.
Look, the electrodes
go right into her hand.
Put them in her hand
and give her a treatment.
That's the idea,
just hold on to that.
That's the idea.
How do you feel, baby?
Oh, Doctor!
I feel so good!
Oh, Doctor, I feel so good!
Oh, Doctor! I feel so good!
- I cured her, Doc, I cured her!
- Now, come on, give me half.
- Half of what?
- Half of the money.
I didn't get no money!
Look, son, you've got to keep
your mind on the race,
otherwise, you and I are gonna
split partnership right now.
- Okay, okay!
- All right!
Another patient,
someone is sick, yes, sir.
Where's the doctor?
Oh, my, where's the doctor?
- Oh, the doctor!
- Don't get excited!
- Here's the doctor!
- That's the doctor right there.
Now, what is wrong with you,
young lady?
I've got cirrhosis of the liver!
- Oh, this is terrible!
- What's terrible?
She's got roaches on her liver.
No, no, no,
cirrhosis of the liver.
- Oh, cirrhosis of the liver.
- Give her a treatment now.
- A treatment.
- That's the idea, sure!
Here grab, go ahead.
How do you feel now?
Oh, Doctor, I feel so good!
Oh, Doctor, I feel so good!
Oh, Doctor! I feel so good!
I think I'll give myself
a treatment.
Ah, now look, now, come on,
- give me the money.
- What money?
The money
for the treatment, son.
Oh, I forgot
all about the money!
Look, now, if you don't
get the money now,
you and I are gonna have
to call it quits.
Next time, you get the money.
Another customer, boy,
you've got to...
Where's the doctor? Oh, oh!
There he is right over here.
- This is the doctor, madam.
- Over here.
What's the matter
with you, baby?
Oh, I've got
a terrible toothache!
Oh, brother, I didn't know
the roots ran down that far.
Well, bud, it looks as though
you're gonna have
to go over there
and fill a cavity.
Wait a minute.
I am a doctor, not a dentist.
Well, go over there
and jerk it out.
- The tooth, the tooth!
- Oh, sure!
That's right.
Now, grab a hold of that.
Oh, I've never had anything
like this in my hands before!
I wonder where
she's from now, huh?
Well, you'd better
give her a treatment
and cure her toothache, boy.
Here, just grab them,
they're not gonna
hurt you at all.
Now, how do you like that?
Oh, Doctor! I feel so good!
Oh, Doctor, I feel so good!
Oh, Doctor, I feel so good!
Ah?
Well, she feels good.
How do you feel, Doctor?
I feel all right,
but that guy's sweating
Virginia Valentine!
(jazzy music)
(applause)
(upbeat music)
There will always be a love song
while there's you to sing it to.
Though the sun may lose
its splendor,
and the shining stars
may fade from view.
There will always be a love song
in my heart and memory, too.
And from now until forever,
I'll keep on singing it for you.
If ever we part, dear,
you'll remain in my heart, dear.
Regardless of what you do,
I'll always be in love with you.
There will always be a love song
in my heart all of life through.
And though seas run dry
and blossoms die,
there'll always be
a love song for you
(lively music)
(dramatic music)
(upbeat music)
Jennie Lee in her own version
of Diamond Nell.
(jazzy music)
(applause)
All right, now, you said,
you promised me
I'll take you out and show you
the sights of the city!
- That's what I wanna see.
- Things that you have
never seen before,
The Palace of Passion.
- The Palace of Passion.
- Oh, what a spot.
Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute,
where are you going?
- Don't stop me!
- Don't stop you?
- Don't stop me.
- Why not?
Something terrible
just happened down at my house.
What terrible happened
at your house?
You know my little black cat?
- Yeah.
- Just ate a box of Ex-Lax.
- Well, how's your cat?
- She's in business for herself.
- No kidding.
- She's got eight cats
- working for her.
- Honest?
Four digging, three covering up,
and one looking
for new territory.
- Oh, no.
- I'll see you later.
Hey, no, no, wait a minute.
- Tell him, Johnny.
- Oh, we're going down
to The Palace of Passion!
Palace... what's
The Palace of Passion?
- Oh, girls, girls, girls!
- Girls?
Yeah, we're going down there
to dig up a couple of girls.
Don't dig "em up!"
Let's get a couple
of lives ones!
No, no, you don't understand.
This is a place
where you get girls
- of all nationalities.
- Oh, any kind you want?
Any kind you want!
You know the kind of girl
I would like to get?
- I haven't the least idea.
- A little Chinese girl.
- Why do want a Chinese girl?
- I want to find out something.
I'm not gonna ask him.
- Go ahead, Johnny.
- I'll ask him.
- All right.
- What do you wanna find out?
- Who's gonna win the war?
- Oh, man.
- Well, I'd like to know!
- You had me worried there
- for a minute, son.
- I did, huh?
I'll tell you, Jack, man,
you got me worried!
I'm gonna tell you something
right now.
This place here, you can get
any nationality you want.
But there's a peculiarity
about the place.
- What, what?
- Well, you have to ring a bell.
- Ring a bell?
- Now, the amount of times
that you ring the bell
designates the type of a girl
- that you're going to get.
- For instance...
For instance,
you ring the bell once,
you get a little Dutch girl!
- A little Dutch girl!
- That's right.
You ring the bell twice,
you get a little Hawaiian girl!
- Yeah?
- Ring the bell three times...
- Yeah?
- A little French girl.
Well, lead on, Paul Revere!
- May be your last ride.
- Okay!
- Here we are!
- Yeah.
Oh, we should've taken a cab.
- Good old PP.
- What's PP?
- Palace of Passion.
- Oh, Palace of Passion!
Well, gentlemen,
I am going Dutch.
- Going Dutch?
- He's going Dutch.
I'm going to get
a little Dutch girl.
A little Dutcher!
(bright music)
(drumming)
- Okay, huh?
- Yeah.
-So, boy...
-Tell me,
are you a little Dutch girl?
Mm, ja.
Boy, look at the English
she put on that "ja."
And do you like sauerkraut
and wieners?
Oh, I have lots of sauerkraut.
Yeah, and I got a big...
- Ah, ah, ah!
- pot to cook 'em in, too!
Yeah.
Well, gentlemen,
I am going to take
- a lesson in Dutch.
- Lesson in Dutch?
- Will you excuse me?
- Go right ahead, Johnny,
go ahead.
I get the next one,
I get the next one.
-Next one is...
-Oh, mama!
Oh, daddy!
Oh!
- There goes the sauerkraut.
- Oh, no.
Mhm, yes sir!
Oh, boy!
Well, how did you like that?
Mm, ja!
It's all right, huh?
- You heard what she said.
- What'd she say?
She said, "Mmmmm, ja!"
What was that again?
She said, "Mmmmm, ja!"
How many times I have
to hit the gong to get him?
Ooh, about...
(indistinct chatter)
No, no, I want him, he's mine...
- Here, here, here!
- Huh?
- I seen him first.
- I am going to get myself
- a little Hawaiian girl.
- Good, good!
- Hawaiian!
- Hawaiian!
Yes sir!
(piano music)
I think I'll hit the hay.
Oh, no, no, no, wait a minute.
- Just a minute.
- Huh?
A little Hawaiian girl.
Oh, are you
a little Hawaiian girl?
Wiki waki!
If I had your wiki,
I'd raise the devil
with your waki.
Yeah, hey,
look at all the grass!
Yes, and I have
a good lawnmower.
Yeah, I got a pretty good
old sickle myself.
- Oh, no.
- Yeah!
Say something in Hawaiian.
- Boola-boola!
- What's this "boola-boola"?
Boola-boola is "goodbye"
in Hawaiian!
Well, carbolic acid!
- What's that?
- "Goodbye" in any language.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Well, I think I am going
to take a little lesson
- in Hawaiian!
- In Hawaiian!
- That's right.
- But don't forget
- the next one is mine!
- Okay.
- I gotta have one, too!
- Oh, baby!
Oh, daddy!
Oh, my, my!
Oh, daddy!
(blowing raspberries)
What do you think of that?
Hey, did you get your lesson
in Hawaiian?
That I did, that I did.
I'm gonna get myself
a little French girl!
Good for you, Jack!
Glad to hear you say that,
old boy, yessir!
(bell ringing)
France!
(laughing)
Oh, yeah.
She carries her own sword.
- Free France.
- Oh, boy! Oh, no!
Oh, ho, ho, ho!
Are you a little French girl?
Qui-oui!
Now she's gonna oui-oui
all over the place!
Oui-oui means "yes" in Franc.
- What's that?
- Oui-oui,
it means "yes" in Franc.
- Kiss me.
- Oh, get outta here.
- Yeah!
- You kiss me, yes?
- That's his job.
- Oh, no, no.
All she says was,
"Monsieur, you kiss me, yes?"
Oh, you, too?
- You do not understand.
- No?
In her country,
that is a great honor!
Yeah, that's how you hold
your job in this country.
Yeah.
(speaking French)
Monsieur, kiss me!
Wait, wait, wait,
I'll lay down, make it easier!
Oh, no, no, no, you don't.
Oh, Monsieur, kiss me, kiss me!
Oh, that's all,
that's all, that's all.
Oh, Monsieur!
You do not know
what you do to me!
You don't know
what you've done to me!
I learned a lesson in French!
- Good for you, Jack!
- I'll see you!
- Thatta boy! Take it easy!
- Hold the fort!
Remember you're not
put together any too well, son!
Oh, mama!
Oh, daddy!
- Oh, mama!
- Oh, no.
- Oh, daddy!
- Oh, mama!
(shouting)
Whoo!
- Hey, Jack.
- What?
Did you take your lesson
in French?
Lesson, nothin',
I got my diploma!
Oh, no!
Oh, no, no, no.
Here's Suzette, the French doll!
(dramatic music)
(applause)
- Well, Leon!
- Johnny, how are ya?
My good friend Leon,
am I ever glad to see you.
You look beat, Johnny,
what's the trouble?
Beat? Beat is no word
for trouble.
- I've got lots of trouble.
- What's your trouble?
I can't get along with my girl.
- Huh?
- Oh, every time I see her,
she's so cold, Leon,
I don't know what's the matter.
She won't react to anything.
Oh, she don't wanna make
hubba hubba with you, huh?
- She just won't... you know.
- Look, Johnny,
I've got something here
that's really the McCoy.
- What do you mean?
- See that stuff there?
- Passion candy.
- Passion candy?
Not so loud, not so loud.
Give your girl
a little bit of this candy
and she can't resist you.
She'll fall in love with you
immediately!
- You mean that works?
- That's right.
- Well, give me some!
- It's valuable,
- worth five dollars a box!
- Well, that's cheap
- at half the price!
- You buy?
- Here's five bucks.
- Okay, fella, now,
be careful, it's passion candy.
Give her a little bit,
she'll fall in love with you.
- Oh, gee, thanks a lot!
- Be careful!
Oh, you'll be my pal forever,
believe me.
- Oh, there you are, Johnny!
- Hello, honey! Hello, baby.
Well, what are
we gonna do tonight?
Well, first of all,
I have some candy here for you.
- Oh, candy again?
- Well, come on, have some.
- Oh, all right.
- Yeah.
- Mm!
- Mm?
This tastes pretty good,
I think I'll have some more!
All right, huh? Go ahead.
Oh, what is this strange feeling
coming all over me?
- Yeah.
- Oh, Johnny, let's go home!
Yeah, let"♪ go home...
Wait a minute, baby,
I'll be right with you.
How 'bout that? Let's hurry up.
(humming and laughing)
- Oh, hello, Suzie!
- Hello, Billy!
- How are you, baby?
- Fine!
You remember what today is,
don't you?
Oh, do I remember?
I'll never forget.
Today is your birthday!
That's what it is today!
And you promised me
a box of candy.
Son of a gun, yeah,
I promised you a box of candy.
Yes, I did, so you sit down
on the bench.
You know, any time
I promise you candy, why...
Mhm. Any time
I promise you candy,
I always buy you candy.
Here's a nice box of candy.
Finest candy store in town.
Well, how thoughtful of you.
Yeah, four pounds for 50 cents.
- I hear you like candy?
- Oh, yes.
Here, taste of that, taste some.
It's all for you,
it's all for you.
- How do you like it?
- It's not bad!
Not bad, sure!
I always buy good candy.
(chuckling)
Very good, very good candy.
Here, have some more.
How do you like that? Huh?
- Huh?
- What's yours, Billy?
- What?
- What's yours?
- What's yours?
- Mine's chocolate, what's yours?
Mine's raisin.
Here, have some of mine, too.
I think you'll like mine.
How do you like it?
Oh, what's this strange feeling
coming all over me?
Strange feeling coming over you?
- Uh-huh?
- Here, have some more!
I feel kind of funny myself,
you know that?
- Oh, Billy!
- Hm?
- Make love to me!
- Oh, get away.
- Hug me! Kiss me!
- Oh, get away!
- Oh, Billy!
- You mean it?
- Oh, yes! Hug me!
- Okay.
- Kiss me!
- Okay, I do you a favor.
- Take me home right away!
- Come on, I make love to you.
Let's go home.
I'll take you right home.
Well, I have a few minutes
before I have to go to work.
I'll just sit down
and read this book!
Well, isn't this nice?
Somebody left some candy!
Mm, tastes very good.
Mm! What is this strange feeling
coming over me?
Oh! Oh!
Oh, if I only had someone
to make love to me!
Oh, if I only had a man!
Billy, won't you have
some candy?
No, thanks, just had a piece.
The TNT Girl,
Dynamic Patti Brunelle!
(mellow music)
(jazzy music)
(upbeat music)
(applause)
And our star,
the Body Beautiful, Venus!
(mellow music)
(soft sultry music)
(upbeat music)
(applause)
In concluding our performance,
ladies and gentlemen,
we present, once again,
the lovely members of our cast.
The DuPonts!
(applause)
Sherry Winters!
Virginia Valentine!
Suzette!
Jennie Lee!
Patti Brunelle!
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
we proudly present
the star of our show,
the most beautiful body
in burlesque,
Venus!
(applause)
(lively music)