Patrick (2018) - full transcript

Sarah is a young woman whose life is in a bit of a mess. The last thing she needs is someone else to look after. Yet, like it or not, her Grandmother has bequeathed her a very spoiled pug - Patrick. Surely she must have had her reasons?.

Subtitles by explosiveskull

I saw you.

You mean you were
spying on me.

No. I was just passing.

Sarah, I work on the opposite side of town.
How were you just passing?

Why can't you just
tell me the truth?

The truth? Okay.

Are you sure?
Yes. No. Erm...

I've met someone.

Someone? I thought
I was your someone.

Listen, I just need some
space, think about things.

But we've only
just moved in.

Look, I'll come
and collect my stuff

when you've
calmed down.

Calm? Oh, I am
perfectly calm.



Bless you.

There you are, darling.

...this body who died...

Are you all right?

Yes, thanks.

I should
think she's, you know, 20...


It's getting a bit hot.

So young,

This is delicious cake.

Looks it, too.

I think she's
probably 33.

Where on Earth have you been?

You missed the service.

Granny's friend Duncan
had to do your reading.

He'd forgotten his glasses, so
none of it made any sense at all.

Oh, I am so sorry.



Have you got
your dress on back to front?

Er. Yeah. It's very now.

Come and make yourself useful.

This lot are inhaling the tea.

Ugh! What's that doing here?
It looks ridiculous.

Oh... It was on Granny's
list of wishes.


At least he was on time.

Can you tell me
where the loo is?

Yes, of course, dear.




Are you okay?
Yes, darling.

To infinity and beyond.
Auntie Sarah!

No, the loo's not
that way.

Oh, this is where
you're all hiding.

Should we really be watching
telly, today of all days?

Come on, Caroline. It's so
boring for them out there.

Anyway, it's nice
for their single auntie

to have an armful
of niece and nephew.

Mummy said to Daddy that
when you're really old,

you'll be all on your own.

Erm, Zachary, would you
mind just coming...

And when you die, all they'll
find will be your skeleton

and lots and lots of
really fat cats.

May I have
your attention, please?

Although my mother left
a formal will,

she also wanted me to read out
a list of her personal wishes.

She would like the following
people to go to her home

and to choose an item
to remind them of her.

Oh! Here goes.

Archibald, my accountant.


Couldn't your chap
get the day off work?

Ah. My chap
and I are no more.

Oh, Sarah.
Not another one.

What are we going
to do with you?

You know me,
love 'em and leave 'em.

Well, it's probably for the best.
I wasn't very taken.

I wish people would say
something at the time

rather than waiting
till the person's gone.

Well, I didn't want
to interfere.

Hmm, that's a first.

Oh. Er, by the way,
I got that job.

I start next term.
Head of year 11 English.

Daneman Comprehensive.

Such a shame you dropped
out of law school

to go to teacher training.

Now your sister's a barrister.
And a wife and a mother.

Don't we just know it?

And you...

Got all the good looks?

That blasted dog.

my hairdresser's friend.

Stop that.

Oh, my goodness.

And finally, um, to Sarah, I leave
my most treasured possession...

Oh, Granfoos, how lovely. She always
knew I loved that Faberge brooch.

My beloved Patrick.


Are you sure?
Yes. Yes.

She's bequeathed you Patrick,

Patrick, her pug.

How sweet.
No. No.

She's added, "They'll be very
good for each other." Absolutely.

- I don't know about you lot, but I rather
fancy a whisky. - No, we won't.

We're a match
made in hell. Dad.


No, no, no, no. Other full lock.
Other way.

That's it. That's it.
That's it.

Come on back now. That's right.
Come on back.

Excellent. Jolly good.
And stop.

All right. I know what I'm doing.
No, no, stop.

Stop! Stop! Just...

What was she thinking?

Can we have him?


Why not?
Your mother's allergic.

Yeah, if we ever did get a dog,
it would have to be a cockapoo.

Can we get one of them, then?

Why not?

Because I have too much to do, and
it'd be one more thing to worry about.

Complain about.

Can't you have him?

Oh. No, darling, no.

Poor Snowy's
gonna take weeks to recover.

If we ever find him.


I'm sorry,

What was Granny thinking?
She knows I live in a flat.

And, might I just add,
the lease says "no pets."

The landlord would go ape.

And I start a new job in a week.
I'm gonna be out all day.

And... And I don't like dogs.

I don't want a dog.

Can't one of you take him?

Oh, brilliant.


Stop it.

Stop looking at me, okay?
It wasn't my idea.


Come on,
little ones. Time to go.

Drive safely, darling.

Okay, you're really
freaking me out now.

Can't you look out the
window? It's nice.

There's a castle
and everything.

Slow-cooked rabbit ragout?


People are so gullible.
I bet it's all the same stuff.

Put it back.

Show me where you got it from.

Oh. Hang on.
Sorry. That's not mine.

Don't know how that got in there.

I suspect a little person
with an adorable squashed face

put it in there so Mummy'd
have some treats for later.

Well, he can have some of Mummy's not
inconsiderable supply of chocolate instead.

Don't you know chocolate's
poisonous for them?

Really? Oh, well.
All the more for Mummy.

Okay, you're freaking me out now.
Is it my driving or is...



Okay, don't draw
attention to yourself.


Rent's due Thursday.

Have a nice evening.

Right, first thing, we're getting
out of this ridiculous outfit.

Secondly, I'm putting you up for grabs
on Facebook and possibly Tinder.

I mean, God help us if any
of the neighbors catch us.

I mean it, Patrick.

One grunt, growl or bark
in the wrong place

and we'll both be in Richmond
Park eating rabbit ragout.

I know that sounds nice,
but it won't be.


It's 6:00 in the morning.


Here we go.

Go on. Enjoy.

Come on. I thought
you were desperate.

Now you're making me
want to go.

Oh, my God! Erm...
What are you doing here?

Oh, I'm sorry.
I wasn't expecting company.

Ah. Another law-breaker,
I see.

Well, you have to keep an eye out. You
never know who might turn you in.


Sarah Jessica
Rosemary Francis.

No, your dog.

Oh, Patrick.

He's not really my dog.

My grandmother left him to me.

I really need
to find him a home.

You can't do that.
He's a bequest.

You can't just pack him off
to the first bidder.

I'm a teacher. I mean,
I can't take him with me.

And I can't leave
him here on his own.

Well, I'm sure
you'll find a way.


What a good girl.

You haven't been here long.

Just moved in.


Oh. No, thanks.
Not for you.

It's for the dog. You've got
to pick up Patrick's poo.

Yes, right.

I'm Celia,

and this is Wendy.

Erm. We'd better be off.

Yep. See you around.

Or not. Wink, wink.

that's gross.

I knew this was a bad idea.

I told them. I told them it wouldn't
work, but would they listen to me?

Honestly, one more thing and you're
off to the pound. I have had it.

Ew! Oh...


Oh, that is disgusting.

What is the matter with you?

I mean, it's all food.

If you were hungry,
you would eat it.

I can't be doing...



Patrick? Patrick?


I've just changed that bed.

No. No.

I know Granny
used to spoil you rotten.

But while you're here,
you're under a new regime.

The fridge is out of bounds.

Not that I'm known
for taking them,

but a walk in the park
may sharpen the old appetite.

With any luck, you'll
wear yourself out.

Patrick, heel.


Heel. Heel.



Get that thing under control.

- Sorry. Patrick.
- What are you doing?


Patrick. Come here.

Patrick, I mean it. I mean it, Patrick.
Come here.

Oh, God. Patrick!

Come. Good boy.

Okay. Stay. Good boy.
Stay. Good boy.


Oh, no!

Why, Grandma? Why?

I came to see you
whenever I could.

I never interrupted, even though
I'd heard your stories 20 times.

What did I do wrong?

Yours by any chance?

Sort of. Oh, wretched dog.

Thanks for catching him.
That's okay.

Oh, God. What a disaster.

I've been landed
with my grandmother's pug.

I don't even want a dog.
I hate dogs.

You don't hate dogs.

No. Maybe I just
hate this one.

How long have
you got him for?

Er, I don't know. He's nine and
in annoyingly good health.

Maybe five years, then,
if you're lucky.

Five years?

I'd get less for
armed robbery.

Oh, it's just
teething problems.

You just need to
get to know each other,

form an understanding.
It's like any relationship.


He'll be expecting me
to pick up his underpants

in a few weeks' time.

Well, you'll get to trust
each other and, well,

you'll wonder how you
ever lived without him.

You and I have very different
relationship experiences.

But I could give it a go.

Don't give up on
him too easily.

He's quite a cute
little fella, really.


Can I give you a hand
back to the car park?

Thank you. I might
give it a minute or two.

In case the other walkers stone
me before I get back to the car.

Keep him on the lead
for the time being.

He's a man. He responds
to clear instruction.

Oh. I will. Thank you.

Well, see you around?


Most dogs bring back a rabbit.
Well done, Patrick.

"In a few weeks' time, he'll be expecting
me to pick up his underpants."

No, Patrick.

Not on the furniture, okay?

It's part of
the new regime.

First day of school tomorrow.

I want you to stay here and entertain
yourself until I get back, okay?

And wish me luck.


Thanks for the support.


No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

My first day and I'm late.


Okay, I'm coming,
but be quick.


Patrick, what
have you eaten?

Oh, God.

Oh, that is disgusting.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Well, glad it's
coming out of both ends.

No. No.

No, no, Patrick.

Oh, no.


Patrick, that's it. Come here.
Come on. Come along.

Come on. Good boy.
Patrick, come on.

Good boy.
Come on. Patrick.

Patrick. Patrick.

Good boy. Yeah,
good boy. Come on.

What's this? Come on.
Come on, Patrick.

Yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes.

Come on.


Patrick, get here right now.

Patrick, I am
really very angry!

And if you don't
get here right now,

I am gonna lose my job
on my first day...

And I'm gonna have to live in a
cardboard box under a bridge

and no one's ever
gonna love me,

and my life is gonna be over.


Now, I'll be back
at 4: 30.

Please don't touch anything
while I'm gone.

And run.

Sorry, excuse me.

Excuse me, off. Off, please.

Good morning!


Always works. Good morning.
Please take your seats.

I'm Miss Francis,
your new English teacher.

Okay. If you could just introduce
yourselves to me, please.

Okay. And how do you
spell that?

She was all I could get
at such short notice.

Well, I'm betting you'll have
disciplinary problems with Miss Francis.

Oh. Ah! Well, welcome.

Thank you.

Hi. Don't think we've met.
I'm Sarah Francis.

I major in discipline.

Okay, right. Well,
I'll catch you later.

Big mistake. Huge mistake.

Hi. You must be Sarah,
the new girl.

Hi. Yeah.
I'm Becky. Come on.

Don't let this lot
put you off.

If you'll excuse me.

Don't mind old Peters.
He doesn't like change.

Or English teachers.
Or blondes.

Budge up, Maureen.
This is Sarah.

Hello. She teaches
year 11 English.

Would you like
a rock cake?

Oh. Thanks.

Your class made those.

Yep. Clue's in the name.

Let's hope their English
is a bit better.

I bet you're wondering
what I teach.

Ah. Let me guess. Economics?

Close. I'm one of
the games teachers.

Thought so.
It's all the Lycra.

And I'm organizing
a fun run for charity.

And I was wondering

if maybe you could persuade
your class to run?

And how would I do that?

By entering yourself.


Oh, I'm really sorry. I'm not
a runner, never have been.

I'm the same with swimming. I do all the
right actions, I just don't go anywhere.

Anyway, just had huge difficulty
trying to persuade my class

to read page one
of Jane Eyre, so,

I don't fancy my chances
with a fun run.

It's only five kilometers.

That's miles. I mean,
that's practically a marathon.

No, it's not.

You go through the park, up the
hill and then back into school.

So... Did you just say
up the hill?

I hope you know that when people say no to
me, I treat that as start of negotiations.

Well, I think you've
met your match here.


Oh. Doesn't matter.

Yeah, sorry. Thanks.

It's all right. I'll find
someone with good teeth.


Would you
like another cake?

Darling, I'm home.

Oh, no.

You, mate,
are ruining my life.

It was hard enough without you,
but with you, it's impossible.

Well, you can't
do that again.

Do come in.

Every time a stray animal wandered
by, he screamed the place down.

I fear there's
going to be a letter.

Can I get you a tea?

No. And I suggest
you take him for a walk.

That's what you do when
you leave a dog all day.

Yeah, of course.
I was just about to.

Look, I will get something sorted,
but could you have him tomorrow?

Just for tomorrow.

No, he's so badly behaved.

But he'd be so much
better with company.

You'd be really
helping me out.

Just see how it goes?
Please? Please.

Well, just for tomorrow, but
you have to sort yourself out.

Don't worry, I will. Thank you, Celia.
Thank you.

I owe you.
Yes, you do.

If you don't
behave tomorrow,

you really are going
to the dog home.


Hi. I'm really not
sure about this.

Wendy and I lead
a very quiet life.

Oh, it's just for today. And
Patrick is very well behaved.

My granny was very strict.

She was with us,
at least.

I'll be back at 4:30.

Now, say thank you and offer
to do the washing-up.

Come on.

Mummy's abandoning you.

In you come.

Jane Eyre,
the protagonist.

Thank you.

It's never the dog.
It's always the owner.

There's a fight
over there.

Oh. Oh. Get off. Stop it.

You should be ashamed
of yourselves.

Oh, no.

What have you done?
Oh, my darling.

I always knew
you were a little strange

Never again.
Oh. I'm sorry.

Here's his collar.

I'm really sorry.



Sorry, no.

Oh, God. Ooh, ha.


It's bound to be our fault.

Be announcing our engagement soon.

He's cute.

Cute? Stick around.

Can I just ask, when you got a
dog, what were you thinking?

I like 'em. Bit of companionship.
Keep myself fit.

Moments like this.
Walking, contemplating.

Yeah, so you never wanna grab it by the
throat and march it off to the pound?

What's he destroyed?

Oh. Erm, my life.

Wow. Impressive.

How long have you had him?

Too long. It was a bequest
from my grandmother.

I was hoping for the
microwave at least.

Maybe she had her reasons
for leaving him with you.

She was 92. I'm not sure reasoning
was her strong point.

Well, I think you should
stick with it.


I dunno. How else would you get to play
Twister in a park with a complete stranger?

I'm Ben, by the way.

Oh, Sarah.

Er, this is Scout.

To Kill a Mockingbird.

Er. Precisely.


Well, nice meeting you.
Nice to meet you, too.

Come on, Scout. Come on.

Hmm. I have to hand it to you,
you are quite the babe magnet.

Oh, all right, come on.

This is just for tonight,

Oh, Patrick, what am
I gonna do with you?

Don't worry,
I'll think of something.

Right, okay.

Can I, er...
Can I help you?

Hi. Er, I'm Sarah Francis,
the new English teacher.

I was wondering if you and I
could come to an arrangement.

What do you want?

Could you take this dog?
Just for today.


I'll give you £10.


He's just gonna be
sitting in your room all day,

and maybe you'd take him out
at lunchtime.

That's £50.

Now it's £60.

How about we
have a sleepover

and a bit of shopping
after school?


It'll be okay.
Miss is here.

You okay?

Don't help me.

It's erm,
it's Vikki, isn't it?

I've only been here a week and
I feel like crying as well.

Do you wanna
talk about it?

No, you're all right.

Bonding with the students already?
How modern.

I saw that.

I ask again,

what is it about Mr. Rochester that
makes him so perfect for Jane Eyre?

Why can't she get over him?

His tight trousers?

What is it with you guys? Why are you
determined not to focus on your set books?

These are your GCSEs.

It's boring.


That... No.

Miss, I was looking at
what Jane Eyre looked like.

Charlotte hasn't
provided pictures.

Right, okay, let's try this.

Jane's parents bite the big one.
Dead, gone, okay?

Jane is packed off
to live with her aunt,

Mrs. Reed, in the country,
who is a right old bag.

And then she pulls a blinder,
locks her in a room

with her dead uncle's ghost.



Come in.

Here's your dog.

Look, can we talk about
this at lunchtime?

This little dog
ate my lunch.


I'll go out at break time
and I'll buy you a sandwich.

And a packet of crisps
and a Snickers.

A Snickers?

That is just what I need.

What's the matter, miss?

poisonous for dogs.

Oh, be sick. Please be sick.

Mikey, find the
nearest vet.

Well, I was unblocking
the girls' toilets.

The nearest vet's
on the main road, 425.

Okay, phone them and tell
them what's happened.

Yeah, yeah, miss, go now, quick.
Quick. It's gonna get sick.

Look, we'll read chapter
one until the bell goes.

Thank you, Vikki.

Quick, quick, quick.
That's it.

Pack it in, you lot.

Do you wanna be a teacher?
Go on then, be a teacher.

It's not good enough, Diana.
You must do better.

You've known about this
for at least two weeks.

Miss Francis, is that
a dog under your arm?



As you well know, pets
are not allowed in school.

May I ask where
you're taking this dog?


To the biology lab
for an experiment.

Run out of frogs,
have they?

He's just
eaten a chocolate bar.

I need to take him
to the vet's.

And who, may I ask,

is looking after your class while
you perform this important task?

I've left Vikki Andrews
in charge. They're reading.


Vikki is a very sensible
young woman.

Sorry, what is the matter?

Why have you
taken against me?

I haven't
taken against you.

Yes, you have.

Ever since I first arrived,
you've been horrible to me.

I mean, what have I done to you?

Right, to be honest...

Yes, be honest.

Actually, not too honest,
but go ahead.

I like a teacher who
can discipline a class,

get them focused
and learning.

Your type just wants
to be friends with them,

and with that class, in this
school, that won't work.

My type? You don't know anything
about me or my teaching methods.

I suggest you go down
to my classroom right now

and see just how responsible and
focused my students can be.

Now, I'm going to the vet's.
I'll be back at lunchtime.

Make sure you are.

I just said I will be.


I heard that.

You were meant to.


Two minutes.

Now, remember, the record's
three minutes and five seconds.

Okay. Thank you.

Patrick Francis.


Oh. I see. You call the dog's name.
Aw. That's cute. Um...

Er, yeah,
Patrick Francis here.

Come on through.

How is the
little deer hunter?

He's given that up now. He's now
the chocolate eater.

You do know
that chocolate is...

Poisonous, yeah.
It was a mistake.

So how's it going?

Er, in general
or with Patrick?

Let's start with Patrick.

Oh. Er... Well, he eats everything
except the food I put down for him.

Erm... I'm running out of people
to watch him while I'm at work.

And I'm expecting the
inevitable eviction notice

from my flat
I've just moved into

because they have
a strict "no pets" policy.

Otherwise, great.

Well, I don't think it's
enough to do him any harm.

I could pump his stomach out, but I don't
think you'd thank me for it, would you?

Just make sure
he has plenty of water.

Thanks. Say thank you,

Thank you.

My pleasure.


Hit me with the damage.

He hasn't charged you.

You've just gotta let him
know how Patrick's doing

and when you've got
a night free for dinner.

Oh. Right.

Well, that's strange.

It's not how I usually
do business.

So do I pay for the meal?
Is that how this works?

I don't know.
Okay. Um, bye.

Okay. Bye. Bye.

Muffin Bigwood.

- That's cool.
- Yeah.

And then he
put it on the computer

and sent it through
to the girl on the desk.

Like something
out of a novel.

Oh. There you go. Call me a
little bit old-fashioned,

but isn't that
the tiniest bit creepy?

Well, I always meet mine
off dating websites,

so that seems
relatively sane to me.

Ah. Miss Francis, how did
the trip to the vet go?

Oh. Better than
expected, thanks.

What are you ladies
finding so funny?

Oh, nothing.


No, thank you, Maureen.

Oh. Thank you.

Well done.

By the way, Miss Francis,

are you aware you are now
the only member of staff

who is not taking part
in the fun run?


I'm afraid Mrs. Phillips will take a
rather dim view of our newest teacher

not partaking in
school activities.

Er, well, that's
where you're wrong.

Sarah signed up to the fun
run just this morning.

Yes, she's running on behalf
of her favorite charity.

Er... Er...
The Pug Rescue...


Oh. Well,
that's all right, then.

What have you done?
I can't run five kilometers.

I'm sorry. I just can't bear it
when he crows over us like that.

Oh, this is awful.

Are you doing it, Maureen?

Er, I'm exempt.
How are you exempt?


Becky, why couldn't you have given
me some sort of fictional complaint?

I'm sorry. It was the first
thing that came to my head.

Will you have
another eclair?

Yeah. Oh. I can't now.
I've gotta run 5K.

Oh, go on. Go on.


Year 11 remedial's attempt at choux.
I think I'll have to.

I shouldn't.

Whoo. Here we go.

I can't do this.

I really can't do this. I faint
if I have to run for the bus.

Well, I'm sorry, but I think
you're gonna have to.

If I'm doing this...

You're doing this too.

Come on, Francis.

Can't we go shopping? You like
shopping, don't you, Becky?

Come on.
Oh, my God.

Oi, Dobbin, can you slow down
for just a minute, please?

No pain, no gain.

I'm gonna kill you in a minute.
I'm just giving you fair warning.

Ha. Trust me, you'll
thank me for it one day.

A lot of words are coming to mind
and "thank" ain't one of 'em.

- Oh, God.
- Oh...

Morning, Sarah.


So, Jane's getting
ready for her big day.

She's got the dress,
the cake's booked,

the bridesmaids are all
getting their fake tans.

And then suddenly, some
bloke breaks up the party

by announcing that Mr. Rochester
is already married.

Plot twist. Turns out his wife is
locked up in the attic. Weird.

So Mr. Rochester says, "Sorry,
we can't be husband and wife.

"But how about you stay on as a
sort of unofficial Mrs. Rochester?"

Like Spike's dad.

Oh. Shut up.

Jane loves him,
so what does she do?


Jane flees because she believes
in a sense of morality.

You know,
he's taken his vows

and even though
it would break her heart,

she can't hook up
with a married guy.

So why is marriage
so important to Jane?

Why are her principles
more important than love?

Why is marriage everything?

Well, it's not, though, is it?
It doesn't bloody matter.


It's not your fault, miss.
I'll go fetch her.

Okay. Erm... We'll just carry on.
Er, hands up.

Patrick? Hand up?

We're being evicted.

I think he's found out about Wendy.
I can't believe it.

Oh... Oh, come in.

I've nowhere to go.

I've been here for years.
All my friends are here.

What am I going to do?

This is our fault.

I'll tell the landlord that it's
Patrick who's the nuisance.

Then you and Wendy
can go back to normal.

Oh, thank you, Sarah.

I'm having trouble
re-homing him anyway.

No one wants an older dog,
including me.

We'll find
somewhere else to live.

Where will you go?

Well, there's always
a park bench.

quite fond of that park.

Oh, no.

Oh, I'm joking.


- Come on.
- Hiya.

Are you coming or going?

Oh. Just going.

Oh, no.

Oh, God.


God, if it can go wrong
with this dog, it will.

Oh, I've got loads
of marking to do.

Hold on.




This is what you get
from a misspent youth.

Sorry. It's...
I've... It's open.

Ah. Thanks.

Thank you.
No worries.

Do you think this is
a bit too dressy?

No, I think it really
suits you.

I just don't wanna look
like I've tried too hard.

Why don't you try that on with it?
Make you look really funky.

Hmm. Do I wanna look funky?

Maybe he prefers studious.

Well, have you
got any glasses? No.

Put the jacket on, then.

Yes. Yeah. I like.

One cool chick.

are you going, anyway?

Ooh, that place by the bridge.

Nice. Expensive.
Is he paying?

I really hope so. I'm now
officially homeless,

since Patrick has
made it his mission

to alert the landlord
to the "no pets" policy.

Do you know, I might be
able to help you here.


My brother wants to rent out his
place while he's working abroad.

He only needs to cover the costs.
Are you interested?


Great. Yes.

Ooh. These?
Yeah. Get 'em on.

These ones?

Hi. It's a table for two.
I think it's under Oliver.


Please, ma'am, this way.
Thank you.

Oh, can I just take
your coat...

Oh, no. Sorry. It's part
of the thing. Sorry.

My mistake.
Sorry. Whoops.

Here is your table.

Thank you.
I'll be back.


That's okay.

I'm sorry.

Don't. Don't worry. I've
been practicing my origami.

Your what?

Never mind. Were
you saving a life?


You know, get me a bag of
plasma and pass the forceps.

Oh, no. I was just watching Game
of Thrones and lost track of time.


Have you chosen, sir? Yeah,
I'll have my usual, please.

Of course.

Wow. Never been out with a
guy who has a usual before.

What's your usual?

Well, it's Churrasco de Lomo. Side of
chips. Washed down by a good Malbec.

Mmm. Sounds good.

Yeah. I was gonna have a steak.

Oh. It is a steak.

Oh, right. I'll have
the same, please.

Rare, please.

Well done.

She'll have hers
rare as well.

Of course.
Trust me.


Yeah, I've always loved
the sciences.

I got an A star in chemistry,
biology and physics.

Could have done anything
I wanted to, really.

But my father and brothers
are doctors

and he wanted me
to do the same.

Yeah, but I rebelled,
became a vet.

Not much of a rebellion, though, is it?
I earn more than my brother.

Well, we don't do what we do
for the money, though, do we?

We do it to make
a difference.

Do you know you have to study
a year longer than a doctor

'cause your patient can't
tell you where it hurts?

Mind you, have you ever had a Doberman
sink its teeth into your arm?


I think he was trying
to tell me something.

Anyway, enough about me.
Tell me about you.

Tell me about Sarah Francis.

Anything for dessert?

Sarah? Pudding
or slice of cheese?

No. No, I'm good.

Okay. Well, we'll have
the bill, please.

Okay. I'll be back.
Thank you.

Happy to go halves?

Mmm... Yeah.

Then can I walk you home?

Okay, thanks.


Oh. You could give your
patient the once over.

Well, I kind of have
this unwritten rule thing

where I don't see
my dates' pets for free,

no matter how pretty
the girl is.


The other thing
I'm good at is sport.

This physique is entirely natural.
I really don't have to work at it.

Wow. Amazing.

Actually, Oliver, can we get coffee
another time? I'm just a bit tired.

Are you sure?

Yeah, and I've had a nice evening.
I just wanna go home.

Well, how are you fixed
for next week?

Ah... I'm not sure.
I'm a bit busy.

Have... Have I done
something wrong?

Er... The truth?

Seriously, you... You
don't wanna see me again?


Okay, you asked me out,
er, you were late,

and, I mean, late, and then you
talked nonstop about yourself

and then when I had the temerity to
suggest that you might wanna take

a peek at your patient, you
said it's against the rules.

But the steak was good,
wasn't it?

And why go home
to an empty flat?

Thanks, Oliver,
but no thanks.

Oh, and, um,
for your information,

I'm not going home
to an empty flat.

Oh, hello.

Hi. What are you doing
out here on your own?

"Marshall Close. Max."

Oh, I know where you live.

Shall we go and see if anyone's at home?

Yeah? Okay, come on.

Come on.
Good boy. Come on.

What? Eh?


Hello, boy.
Where have you been?

I wish you could... Sorry.
The door was open.


Oh. You forgot
your way home, did you?

Ooh! That looks nasty.

You're getting
just like me.

I've checked everywhere I can
think of, although, stupidly,

forgot to check
just there.

What are you
doing here?

Oh, I've known
Albert for years.

Yeah. If it wasn't for Ben,

I should still be lying
on that towpath.

Did you have a fall?

No, no, I usually walk about with
fish fingers on me head. Ben,

stick 'em in the freezer, will you?
I'll have 'em for me tea tomorrow.

Good boy.
Good boy. You sit.

You had me worried sick, you did.
I didn't know where you'd gone.

And a chocolate digestive
wouldn't go amiss!

Call yourselves
a rescue committee? Huh.

You're welcome.

Must have blacked out.

Stubborn old bugger refuses
to go to the hospital.

You look nice.

Night out
with the girls?

No. I wish.

I think he's given
himself quite a scare.

Worst part
was losing Max.


Did you have
a nice time?

Not really.

I keep telling him he needs
to get himself a scooter.

I can't afford one.

At least there's nothing
wrong with his hearing.

Where's his wife?

Er, she died last year.


Been married 50 years.

Fifty years. Don't think
I'd last a weekend.

Where's the flaming tea?

Make that a day.


You really wanna stretch out the
muscles before you start, all right?

Otherwise, you'll end up
pulling something.

Cor, talking of which...


Have a nice day.


I don't usually put
them off that quickly.

They're usually quite keen until
they see my soft toy collection.

No, it wasn't you. It was me.
That was the vet.


Oh. You've
dropped your wallet.

Right, come on. This isn't gonna
get you ready for the 5K.

On your feet, Francis.

Come on.


What do you think?


in a million years

am I ever gonna make five
kilometers is what I think.

No. Of this.

Well, it's my brother's,

and he's away working
for at least two years,

and I thought it would be
perfect for you and Patrick.

It's not that expensive. I...

I thought it'd be nice.


Oh, Becky.

Becky, it's wonderful.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you. I love it.
I just love it.

You're welcome.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

Oh, my gosh. Look.

Oh, Patrick, look at it.

- Guys, come on. Seriously.
- I am turning it.

- You've brought the wrong tools.
- Okay.

What is going on here?


Ah. It doesn't look
like nothing to me.

This is my dad's car.
It needs, erm...

New tires. It needs...
New tires, new wheels.

It's funny, 'cause I don't see
your dad anywhere 'round here.

But don't worry,
I've gotta go.

I'll... I'll call your dad
when I get into school.

You don't need to call anyone.
Please, don't call anyone.



So I ask you again, gentlemen,
what is going on here?

We're stealing
the wheels, miss.

What else am
I gonna say?

How do you even know how
to do something like that?

Watched a couple of videos.

His brother showed him.

Right, where's
your brother?

- Doesn't matter.
- He's in juvie, miss.

Ah. Shut up, Spike.
I'm sorry.

Sorry, man.

Okay, look, I'm not gonna
tell anyone about this,

okay? But if I hear or catch any of
you doing something like this again,

I will happily call the police.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa.
Where are you going?

Sorry. You're not getting
away with this scot-free.

Miss, I've got to...

It'll be my third detention this
week. I'll get in so much trouble.

Ooh, no, no. It's way worse
than detention, Spike, okay?

This is the Miss Francis
community service, okay?

You are all gonna
sign up for the fun run.

Aw, miss!
And get £20 sponsorship.

No arguments. And... And you're
gonna start your training now.


You can run along.

Go on. They've
got to be eaten.

They've actually
got to be...

Maureen, these
cupcakes are gorgeous.

Aren't they good?
Yes, I know.

Let me try one.
Er, no.

Not until you've
finished the run.

Ah, that's so unfair.


Thank you.

Oh, it's not a term of endearment.
I'm offering you a cupcake.

No, thank you, Maureen.

My class and I are off for a jog in
the park in preparation for the run.

Head teacher's very
impressed with the turnout.

Such a shame your class
aren't as keen, Miss Francis.

Ah, well, that's where
you're wrong, Mr. Peters.

All the boys in my class

have now signed up and some of the
girls are showing interest too.

What on Earth did you
threaten them with? Nothing.

They're doing it 'cause
they want to be my friends.

You want
to be careful, you know.

I hear he's next in line for the
headmaster when Phillips retires.

Well, I'm sorry.
He started it.

But we want you to stay.

Yes, we do, we do.
So do I.


No. Maureen, stop it.

Why is it my stuff
that had to go into storage?


So what is it about
Victorian England

that makes Mrs. Rochester
so unacceptable to society?


Come on, you lazy...




No. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.
It's so cute.

Come in. Come in.
There you go.

Thank you. Thank you.

Do I get one of these
or is it just...

No, you risk
your life, I'm afraid.

I'm destined to drown.

Carly Williams?


Michael Azikiwe?


Vikki Andrews?


Does anyone know
where Vikki is?

Come on.

Spit it out. We've got an English
GCSE to accomplish by lunchtime.

Erm, Vikki's mum and dad
have been having problems.

She's not
really handling it.

Tariq, that's private.


Is she in trouble, miss?

Not if I can help it.

Er, my nan's
got dodgy knees.

I was wondering,
can I be excused too?

Nice try. Right,
turn over your papers.

You have 90 minutes. Begin.

Hey, it's Vikki.

Leave a message
and I'll call you back.


I'm Miss Francis,
Vikki's English teacher.

Look, I tried to get her
to that exam this morning.

I tell her how
important it is.

But we're going through
a few family problems.

Hmm. I'm so sorry
to hear that.

Oh. My husband and I
are splitting up.

You just love telling
people, don't you?

She's, um,
taking it quite badly.


Am I in trouble?

Not with me. Do you wanna
come for a walk with us?

Yeah, I'll just
grab my coat.

Oh. I see you'll do
something when she asks.

Yeah. She asks
me nicely.


See what I'm up against?

And she's decided

she doesn't want to come and
live with me and my boyfriend.

She wants to stay.

With her dad.


We'll be right back.


Look, I'm really sorry.

Vikki, you're good at English, okay?
One of the best.

I predict a seven
for you, no problem.

But the one thing you have to
do is turn up for the exam.

It's just this
whole thing at home.

I feel so crap
all the time.

I didn't go 'cause
I don't wanna mess up.

Okay. Can I tell you something
you must keep to yourself?

Yeah. No one listens
to me anyway.

Okay, well,
I have an older sister

and I have always
lived in her shadow.

You know,
she's got everything,

she's achieved

My mum never fails
to let me know it.

But my granny gave me
a really good bit of advice.

She said, "Just keep putting one
foot in front of the other,

"and in the end,
it feels like walking."

So I've arranged for you to come in this
Saturday and sit your English paper.

Are you serious?

You've done
that for me?

Of course. You mustn't discuss
your paper with anyone else.


I will know if you've seen the questions
before, okay? I'm weird like that.

I absolutely swear. Cross
my heart and hope to die.

Don't go that far.

Right, we should
get you back.

Come on, then.

You didn't have any
plans this Saturday, did you?

No, I never
do anything.


Hello. Sarah?


Is that you?

I disappoint again.

Peace offering?

Come on.

So, what brings you to
the Boat People of Wetlandia?

I came because I've been thinking
about what you said the other night.

And I hear you're
doing a fun run.

Ah. Well, you're half right.
I am running.

That's great.
I'd love to sponsor you.

I take it you're doing it
for a good cause?

Maybe the rehabilitation of
hopelessly socially inadequate vets?

Something like that.

Of course, um, you're almost
guaranteed not to have to pay

as the likelihood of me
finishing 5K is pretty slim.



Wow. Are you sure?
That is very generous.

That's me.

Inadequate but generous.

I'm really gonna
have to do this now, aren't I?

Afraid so.

Ugh. I've survived
my first term.

You've more than survived.
You've made a difference.

To who?
To the kids.

What are you
talking about?

Oh. Maureen.

Are you going
on somewhere?

Eh... Oh. No, no. Someone
told me it was fancy dress.

Well, I think
you look fabulous.

I know.

Congratulations, Miss Francis.

You're not doing as badly
as I predicted you would.

Oh. I feel damned by faint praise.
Thank you, Mr. Peters.

I think.

Are you ready
for the 5K run?

Getting there.

You're not really running
for the Pug Rescue, are you?

Well, a dog's got
something to do with it.

Wise arse.

I heard that.

Yeah, you were
meant to.


Five, six.
One missing.



where are you?



is he micro-chipped?

I don't know.

Oh, look, I'm sure
we're gonna find him.

What are you basing
that on exactly?

Well, he's such
a lovely chap.

Look, why don't
we split up,

and then we'll
report back here.

Right. Okay.

I'll get more help.
Right, so...

Oh, sorry, sorry.
That was my...

Sorry. I'm so sorry.
The cakes!

I'm off to Pilates.

Oh. Hi.

You get around.

Who is it?

Oh, I was looking for Vikki.

She's upstairs.

Hello, Miss Francis.
I'll get her for you.

This is Ben,
my husband.

I was gonna tell you.

Miss Francis
is downstairs.

Er, no. I mean, why...
Why would you tell me?

That's absolutely fine.

Okay, you're Vikki's dad.
I should have known that.

Hey, Miss Francis.

What's up?

Hi. Erm.
I've lost Patrick.

I was wondering if you
could help me find him,

if you're not too busy. Of course.
I'll go and get my coat.

Can I help?
No! I mean,

no, it's fine.
We'll be fine.

So, I'll see you around.

Let's go
and find Patrick.

I was gonna tell you.

Oh. No, honestly, please.
Why would you tell me?

That's weird,
if anything,

if you'd told me.

Bye. I mean,
it's not even a thing.

Why would you think it's a thing
when it's not even a thing?

I mean, stop talking to yourself.
You sound completely mad.


Oh, Granny,
I'm so sorry.

Sarah, what
have you done?

Happy birthday, Dad.

There, there, pudding.

He'll turn up.

Come on.

Don't tell
Caroline I cried.

No, of course not.

Toffee, pudding?
They're your favorite.

Oh. I won't.

I'm supposed to be running
five kilometers tomorrow.

Why? Have you
stolen something?

To be honest, I don't feel
much like doing it anyway.


I'm missing Patrick.

Oh, Sarah.

He grunts and snores, but
he's kind of growing on me.

I have that magic too.

Sounds like a perfect
match to me.

Oh, shut up. Honestly, I'm
not surprised you lost him.

Ah, now,
that's not fair.

No. Sarah tries very hard.

Yes, and one day
she's going to succeed.

Sorry, can you all stop
being so patronizing, please?

Dad, is there
anything to drink?

Of course, pudding.
What would you like?

Anything that comes
in a pint glass. Please.

Gin and tonic.
Sounds great.

Second thoughts,
hold the tonic.

I thought you were meant to
be doing a fun run tomorrow.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm going to the kitchen to
celebrate my dad's birthday.

Honestly, you can't say anything to her.
She's so sensitive.


Aw. Thank you.


Sarah? Hello?

It's Ben.

Right, who's
for Daddy's pancakes?

Me, me, me.
Ooh, yes, please, Daddy.

Why did no one wake me?

I'm gonna be late for my run.
I've got sponsors and everything.

I'm a sponsor
and I don't mind.

You needed your
sleep, darling.

Oh. This
is important to me.

Are you sure that gin's
out of your system?

Could you say something helpful
for just once in your life?

What? What
have I done?

What? What?

Has someone died
in an accident?

Weird. Okay.
Come on. Oh, God.


I am actually
gonna be exhausted

before this stupid
race even starts.

Ah... No!

You've missed it.
They left 20 minutes ago.


I can't get anything right.
I am utterly useless.

Well, why aren't
you running?

Pulled a hamstring.


After all that crowing over me
and you're not even running.


We need to get
these in the cars.

My sponsorship was gonna
make an old man very happy,

or at least a bit
less miserable.

Oh, honestly,
I could weep.

Miss Francis.


I could vouch
for you starting.

I am Mrs. Phillips' deputy.

Oh, thank you. Erm...


Like the falcon?


Thank you, er, Peregrine.

Back behind
the line, please.

As if that's gonna make a
difference over five kilometers.

Well, we might
as well do it properly.


two, one. Waah!

What was that?

Mrs. Phillips
had a klaxon.


Let's do this thing.


Come here, doggy.

Where are you going?

Are you okay?

Are you sure
you're okay?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine.

Could I just make a safety note?

Please do not lean
on the barriers.

We have had a number
of incidents today.

And we also do have
a lot...

Go on, Mikey. Go on.

And the
winner is Michael Azikiwe.

I am so proud
of you.

Well done.
You've actually done it.


Oh, well done,
Michael. Congratulations.

Oh, I didn't know
you were a runner.

Why didn't you tell me
you could run like that?

I don't know. Miss
Francis made me do it.

Well, you make sure
you thank Miss Francis.

You've got talent.

We have canceled

the sponge-a-teacher game
I'm afraid.

If people could be
a little more...

Vikki! Vikki!


You did it,

Well done.

Thanks, Dad.

I'm sorry I've been
so difficult recently.

Oh... Don't worry.

It's been hard
on all of us.

It'll be easier
now Mum's gone.

It's better for her.

And you and me,
we'll manage just fine.


Oh, hi.

Little bit late,
aren't we?

No, just early
for next year.

I can run with you
for a bit if you like.

Eases the pain to have
someone to talk to.

Oh... I can't...

Miss Shaw!

Yes, Mrs. Phillips?

I've just... Oh.

I've, erm, I've just had
a message from Mr. Peters.

Miss Francis is running.

She was late,
but she did start.


Can I borrow
your loudhailer?

I'm just gonna...

Just... I'm just gonna take...

Lovely baps.

Thank you.

I think you've
got it from here.



Listen up, everybody.

My friend Sarah started the race
20 minutes after everyone else.

She's raised sponsorship of £1,000 to
buy an old man a mobility scooter.

If anyone could just spare
a little bit of time

to cheer her home,
please stay.


Don't leave.
Please, come on.

Oh, ooh!

Oh, no. I don't think
she's coming.

She will.
Have some faith.

Oh, God.

If she had any sense,

she'd have stopped for a
cup of coffee and a cake.

Miss Francis! Miss Francis!

Miss Francis! Miss Francis!

Come on, Sarah.
You can do it. Come on.

Come on, Sarah, keep going.
Keep going. Go on.

Miss Francis! Miss Francis!

Oh. Come on, Sarah.
You can do it.

Miss Francis! Miss Francis!

Miss, miss, no.
Come on, you can do it.


Miss Francis! Miss Francis!

Miss Francis! Miss Francis!

Miss Francis! Miss Francis!

Miss Francis! Miss Francis!

Miss Francis! Miss Francis!

Well done. Well done.

Bravo. Well done.



I'm not dead.

Aw. Patrick.

My Patrick.

You passed. You all
flipping passed.

And I got a five.
And I got a four, miss.

And I even I got a three.

Spike. Yeah, yeah, it's all right.
It's only a three.

I got an eight.
Thank you for everything.

Any time.

- There.
- Hi, Albert.

How's the new
mobility scooter?

Yeah, yeah, not bad, yeah.

Yeah, it's a shame they didn't
have it in green. Yeah.

Here, listen,

er, when you finish your run,
if you fancy a cup of tea,

you know where we are.
Oh, I'd love to.

Bring some biscuits.
Will do.

And, er, bring him as well.

All right.

See you.

Come on, then.



Who's Mummy's special boy?

Yeah. Come on.

Patrick to set.

Has anyone seen Patrick?

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