Pasture (2020) - full transcript

Remembering the
sensation without context.

Which means it's working.

That is not what that means.

Yes.

Isn't that the
experience of a dog

or the physical memory
without context.

Some sort of physical
association is necessary survival-

- Spindly king wobble.

Sarah?

Wobble, wonder.

Sarah?



Wonder, wobble.

You're bleeding.

Dra ma mmm.

What?

What? What?

What? What?

Fa...

Sarah!

Sarah!

Sarah, please.

Sarah, don't!

Sarah.

Are you...

Are you awake?



Sarah, you're okay.

- Sarah.
- No!

- Sarah.
- No!

Please, Sarah, stop.

- Nurse, no, no!
- Sarah, you're gonna

- hurt yourself.
- No!

- Sarah!
- No!

You're gonna
hurt yourself, please.

- No, no!
- Sarah, hey, you're safe!

Focus.

Focus.

Eyes on my left ear.

Left.

Good girl.

And now the right.

Good.

What's the last
thing you remember?

Do you remember your birthday?

The year?

What's your name?

Her name?

Try one out.

Marjorie, Rebecca, Catherine.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Sarah.

Don't play games with her.

I'm not playing games.

Your name is Sarah.

Sarah?

This is Ingrid, your sister.

I'm James, her husband.

We're your family,
this is your home.

You're safe here.

And you're improving very well.

You're safe.

You're safe.

Where did I put my keys?

What did I even
come in here for?

Hello?

Hello?

What were you looking for?

I don't know.

You don't?

I remembered a piece of paper.

And the significance
of this paper?

Was there writing on it?

What did you want it for?

I thought I would
remember if I saw it.

I want to go to the hospital.

What for?

There's something
very wrong with me.

What do you think
is wrong with you?

I don't remember anything.

Anything?

Even my name.

You said it was Sarah, but...

Yeah, but you remember her
telling you it was Sarah.

That's something.

There has to be more.

I don't remember anything
except for that room.

Okay.

Okay, you're getting a-

- I want to go to the hospital!

You released from the hospital

and that's why you're
at home with us.

You're safe and that's all
you need to worry about.

James is a doctor.

But nothing is connecting.

It's just moments after
moments, but nothing.

Well, that's all
memory is, just moments.

How do you know we didn't go

to the hospital this afternoon?

James.

Would you know the difference?

Darling, just try and imagine,

as upset and as frustrated
as you are right now,

we've been trying to
help you much longer

than you've been aware of it.

Who are you?

Sarah, this is Errol.

Your father.

Dad, this is Sarah.

Do you remember Sarah?

What? He doesn't
remember either?

Not all the time.

Are you awake?

Yes, Hank.

Auntie Sarah's awake now.

Shit, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I know, buddy, I know.

Come with me.

Let's get you all cleaned up.

This used to be a working ranch.

Mostly cattle.

That's the old grain silo.

We're not ranchers,
really, but James doesn't

wanna tear anything down.

We're interested in letting
things go back to nature.

What am I?

Was I a doctor?

You're you.

Everything you are
is in this moment.

What happened?

A bull probably charged it.

Maybe he saw a pretty
cow on the other side.

Sarah!

Where did you go?

What are you doing here?

Dad?

Is that what I called you?

Are you dreaming?

At night.

You remembering your dreams?

No memories.

No dreams.

No escape from the
present moment.

How's that working out for you?

That smell.

Bacon?

Sarah, Sarah.

It's all all right.

Are you part of my dream?

A branch twisted off, a
limb cut from a trunk.

Was that you yesterday?

Did he bite you?

Fickle little bastard.

He didn't break
the skin, did he?

More of an emotional wound.

One minute he can't
get enough of you

and then the next bares
his teeth and runs away.

I think I know how he feels.

Yes, you are a little
catlike, aren't you?

I brought you a present.

Looks like he's
laughing or screaming.

He's eating your money.

It's like a piggy bank.

I thought it might be familiar.

Mother made these
when we were little.

I thought it might, well,
let's see what it brings up.

Is she still here?

No, long gone years ago.

I don't wanna
overwhelm you, I...

It might be a comfort.

Oh, Sarah, one more thing.

The next time you use a toilet

would you mind urinating
in this for me?

Just some standard tests.

Kitty.

Come here.

Sarah, what are
you doing out here?

You need something?

There's um something.

Something?

Inside.

There's something inside here.

Physical flashbacks,
remembering the sensation

- without context.
- Which means it's working.

That is not what that means.

Yes, the experience of a dog

or a physical memory
without context.

Some sort of physical
association is survival.

We wouldn't want her to
forget a burn, a slap.

Her cognitive
functions are still

going in and out, so what
happens when she covers

that physical memory
with the real sensation

of having a child?

She will not just do that.

Ingrid.

She'll know if she
connects the dots.

Source.

I'm concerned.

To herself herbs.

You know, honestly
you can be so careless.

What is this?

There was blood.

I'm sure there was blood.

You're a different
person now, Sarah,

than the person that did that.

How am I different if
I don't know who I am?

You're the thing
looking out through

those eyes at this moment.

That's all.

Do you want to hurt yourself?

Then you're different.

The person that did
that to you is gone.

There was a memory.

Memory?

You were braiding my hair.

Tell me more.

You put money in that.

How old was I in
the dream? The memory?

What is it?

No, Sarah.

- I don't know anything.
- Help me!

Help me.

I swear to you
nothing is there.

I saw it.

Your mind is in a state
of disarray right now.

It's playing tricks
on you, okay?

Just trust James and me.

One day you'll be able to tell
what's real and what's not.

But not right now.

I know.

Try to be patient
and let it all go.

Try and get some rest.

You're in the ground!

You're in the fucking ground!

How long has this been going on?

- I've always, always-
- I don't know.

Always been here!

You're what!

You're gone!

What?

Papa Hank.

Papa?

Is he your grand...

You're her son so you're
my what's the word?

Papa.

Oh, this fucking little bitch.

What the hell is
she doing out here?

I'm the boss, you cunt.

Not you!

I'm in control!

You thought you were-

- What's the matter, Dad?

I don't fucking
need that right now.

Dad?

Don't you...

Don't you call me that.

What should I call you?

Don't fucking
care, but not that.

Do you know what
they put in me?

How did it get in here?

You gonna help?

What do you want
me to help you with?

Gotta get it big enough.

For what?

The boy.

Boy?

You ain't gonna
keep him, is you?

Is he in here?

What do you know about him?

What you doin' out here?

It's not safe.

You go on in the house.

Go on, girl.

Go on now.

What did he say to you?

♪ This old man, he played one

♪ He played knick
knack on my thumb ♪

♪ With a knick
knack paddy whack ♪

♪ Give a dog a bone

♪ This old man
came rolling home ♪

♪ This old man, he played two

♪ He played knick
knack on my shoe ♪

♪ With a knick
knack paddy whack ♪

♪ Give a dog a bone

♪ This old man
came rolling home ♪

♪ This old man,
he played three ♪

♪ He played knick
knack on my knee ♪

♪ With a knick
knack paddy whack ♪

♪ Give a dog a bone

♪ This old man

♪ He played knick
knack on my eye ♪

♪ With a knick
knack paddy whack ♪

♪ Give a dog a bone

♪ This old man
came rolling home ♪

♪ This old man, he played six

♪ He played knick
knack on my sticks ♪

♪ With a knick
knack paddy whack ♪

♪ Give a dog a bone

♪ This old man
came rolling home ♪

♪ This old man,
he played seven ♪

♪ He played knick
knack once in heaven ♪

♪ With a knick
knack paddy whack ♪

♪ Give a dog a bone

♪ This old man
came rolling home ♪

Sarah?

What are we up to?

A walk.

It's time for your treatment.

Transcranial magnetic
stimulation is

an experimental therapy.

We've been achieving impressive
results in your case.

Does this seem familiar to you?

Please don't do this to me.

Don't do what?

We've done it before.

It's noninvasive,
we're just activating

and deactivating
certain pathways.

Noninvasive deactivating.

The brain's problem isn't
always too little of something.

Sometimes it's too much.

This is going to help me?

It's what all this is for.

First we're gonna
do a little test

just to get you used to it.

We're gonna start by activating
your right hemisphere.

We're gonna target
your left hand.

When I do this it's
going to twitch.

And now the arm.

Left shoulder.

Right shoulder.

Right arm.

Right hand.

Good.

How do you feel?

I feel like all
wooden with strings.

What's the word?

His nose grows when
you tell a lie.

You feel like a puppet.

You are a bit like a puppet.

To your brain.

It's controlling everything
from right up there.

Now the real work.

Keep your head still.

Here.

Sarah, how much power do
I have over you right now?

What could I possibly
want from you?

Now, I have a very
specific task for you.

This will only work if
you fully participate.

As the machine does its
work I want you to focus

on the concept of I.

You.

I want you to tell
me who you are.

I don't know who I am.

Tell me what you do know.

I'm a sister,

daughter, an aunt.

What am I?

No questions, only statements.

I am sick, I'm damaged.

I can't remember-

- Stick to positives.

What are you?

- I'm-
- What can you do?

I'm human.

I have skin, hair, scars.

I heal.

I heal.

I hear, I see.

I see things.

What kind of things?

I see me.

I see me right now.

I see me.

Stop!

Stop!

What do you see?

There is something inside me.

I know it's real.

No matter what you
say or what she says,

I know what's in my own body.

Are you saying you
think you're pregnant?

I don't know.

How would you of
gotten pregnant?

You remember how
babies are made?

Or do we need to have a talk?

Maybe you put something.

What would I have
put inside you?

Can I do it to you?

What kind of therapy
do you think I need?

I want to feel what it's
like to have a puppet.

We'll send a pulse to a
specific location in the brain,

hold the magnet
against the skull on

the appropriate location
and press this button.

Do you need these?

No.

What part of me would
you like to move first?

Right leg.

Be very careful.

Hold very still.

Right arm.

Can I feel it?

What part of me do
you wanna move now?

Right leg again.

Don't move.

Shall we get back to work?

Transcranial magnetic
stimulation is

an experimental therapy.

But we've been achieving
impressive results in your case.

Does this seem familiar to you?

Please don't do this to me.

Don't do what?

We've done it before.

It's noninvasive.

Just activating and
deactivating certain pathways.

Sarah!

Munchkin!

Where you hiding?

There you are, darling.

Why you hiding from your papa?

No!

I know, it's difficult.

That's what animals do.

Am I dreaming?

The mind is a funny thing.

The funniest thing about is
that you can be inside it,

talk about it, and be
it all at the same time.

I am it.

Isn't that funny?

It's just strange, lumpy
gelatin filled with tiny fires.

A closed circuit
generating thoughts,

watching the thoughts,
reacting to the thoughts

with chemical and
electrical impulses

that create new thoughts.

Isn't that funny?

I am my thoughts.

That's a sad thing to
think with a broken brain.

Sarah.

What is it?

You're bleeding.

I did this.

Why would you want to know her

if she tried to kill you?

Fuck! Jesus!

Who are you?

Took my baby.

Help me.

Please.

Sarah?

You all right?

Dreaming.

Oh.

Go back to sleep.

You need your rest.

Do you mind if I stay here?

Who are you?

I just don't wanna deal
with them yet, you know?

You one of my dad's students?

They took my baby.

I'm Chloe.

What is that?

Excuse me, what are you...

Hello?

Jesus, you can't even
do anything with it

unless I unlock it.

Thank you.

What, did they take
yours away too?

Please don't tell
them I have this.

I had to pay for this.

They're so like stuck
in the 1800s, right?

You use it to type?

Communicate?

- Yeah.
- Information.

On a network.

Can I touch it?

Okay, yeah.

Just don't like
look at my photos

or post anything on
social media, please.

I know this.

I know this.

Yeah, if you've never like
left this ranch in your life.

Have I?

Have I left?

The ranch?

Who are you?

Sarah.

Should I know you?

I'm, I think I'm your...

I'm your aunt.

On whose side?

My mom's or my dad's?

I'm Ingrid's sister.

Well, I'm in boarding school

so I'm not really here
that much and I just

really don't wanna
talk to them yet.

Okay?

Do you mind if I just
hang here for a bit?

Thanks.

Can I hold it?

Yeah, sure.

Where?

Where?

Where's what?

Who?

Who is...

Who?

I don't know.

James told me you had
a session yesterday.

That can lead to strange dreams.

Oh.

I feel better.

Better?

How?

After the treatment.

Clearer.

I remember.

What do you remember?

I had the baby.

I know you took him.

And...

Sarah.

Sarah.

Sarah.

Time to go to sleep.

Sleep.

Are you ready to try?

It's okay.

It's just a little side effect.

We're gonna fix this.

Do you know who I am?

Good.

Who are you?

Sarah.

Sarah?

Sarah.

What do you remember?

I'll give you some privacy.

Do you know there was
an experiment in the 60s

where some scientists tried
to teach dolphins to talk?

He had this dolphin locked
up in a converted apartment

with a female researcher.

She liked to sleep
above the water

and walk around in the water.

She was never more
than a few feet away.

All right.

The dolphin was
an adolescent male

and the researcher
noticed that every time

he sat down to do the
language exercises

he got an erection and
would start humping her.

He was too distracted
to do the work.

So she started jacking him
off before every lesson.

And he started learning.

Obviously the
experiment got shut down

before he could
actually learn English.

People are so
fucked up about sex.

Now no one even
tries those kinds

of experiments on dolphins.

And all she was doing was
relieving an obstacle, right?

It's just biology.

Three, two, one.

Three, two, one.

Three, two, one.

Three, two, one.

Three, two, one.

Three, two, one.

Three, two, one.

You did good today.

I can tell it's really
starting to work.

Do you really not
remember anything?

How do you know that?

You've been here like forever.

Five months ago this
kid at school brought

a knife to class and
like stabbed this girl.

Stabbed.

It wasn't like a big
deal or anything, it was...

I guess it was for like
a day but the girl's fine

and like I don't know.

These things happen.

They do?

Yeah.

Right, you don't know anything
right now, but they do.

They happen all the time.

My phone always wants
me to type the word get

after I type you.

You're not my aunt.

I've never met you
before in my life.

And my mom doesn't
have a sister.

You get one?

Yep!

Nice doe.

Let's get you cleaned up.

Oh shit.

How are you feeling?

What are they doing?

Does it make
you uncomfortable?

Hungry.

It's very good.

Put it on the plate.

Sarah, come here.

He would just hate
what I've done to him

if he could see himself
drooling, shitting,

can't string two
thoughts together.

He hated stupid people.

The worst thing you
could be was stupid.

That's who he laughed at.

Well, fuck him.

He's pretty fucking
stupid now, isn't he?

What do you say we eat his
meat when he keels over?

Thank you, Sarah.

All right.

I get it.

You need a little
love, don't you?

I told her we should've
given you a friend.

I really wish you wouldn't.

You're jealous.

It's unethical.

She needs affection.

It's like petting a dog.

Well we don't fuck
dogs though, do we?

Even if they act
like they want it.

What did you do?

What did you do?

What did you do to me?

Sarah, tell me what
you think is happening.

What do you think is happening?

- No. No, no.
- In your mind right now

at this exact moment.

No, you did something.

What makes you think that?

I'm not who you say
I am, she said so.

She?

Chloe.

Let him go!

He's mine!

He's mine and you-
Sarah.

Took him from me!

Sarah, put the knife down.

Fuck.

Great work.

You escaped.

You were here?

And other places.

Watching.

They do tests on you.

Experiments.

What kind of tests?

I had a baby.

They took it from me.

How do you?

You gave it to me to hide.

For safekeeping.

What does it open?

Hello!

Ma'am!

Help me.

What the hell are
you doing out here?

Help me.

Come.

We'll get you some help.

Let's get on the tractor.

You're okay.

Step right there.

Sit on the fender over there.

You're okay.

No!

- It's okay.
- No!

I'm taking you to the doctor,

- he'll know what to do.
- No!

- No, don't!
- Hey, hey!

No!

No!

Stop, stop!

No!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Help!

Help!

I fell...

Help!

Help!

Help.

Got the thing in the hole.

Laid the trap.

Gotta lay where you're
caught, little demon.

Help.

Help, help, help.

Machine only sees
what you tell it to.

Did you know
that there's research

that suggests cuttlefish, yep
this little guy right here,

that he, they, might be able
to recognize themselves?

- Really?
- Mmhmm

It's a sign of
higher consciousness.

Most animals don't have it.

Yeah, like he can see
himself in the reflection

on the side of the tank
and go, "That's me.

That's not some
other cuttlefish.

I'm an individual, I
have a sense of self."

Because over thousands
and thousands of years

his brain has grown to sizes
unseen in other invertebrates.

He needs that giant
brain to be able to do

the little magic trick
we're watching right now.

- Wow.
- See?

Yeah.

But he's still
low on the food chain.

At the whim the predators who
he can outsmart for awhile,

really for how long?

Self awareness isn't
an evolutionary asset.

Just a tragic by-product.

Sarah, are you awake?

Can you hear me?

Sarah, darling,
you need to calm down

for the baby.

- Baby?
- Mmhmm.

We thought you mighta lost it.

Ingrid and her husband,
they're both doctors

and they were kind
enough to treat you

while they were waiting
for me to arrive.

How long?

How long were you waiting?

Oh, we found you yesterday.

We heard about the
search on the radio.

Do you have a son?

A little boy?

No, sweetie.

I'm terrified
you're gonna kill me.

No.

Murder me.

Cathy.

Are you awake?

Can you hear me?

Sam.

I didn't think I was
ever gonna see you again.

Can you sit up?

These are vitamin supplements
for the pregnancy.

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

I don't know who anyone is.

I don't know who I am.

Who am I?

I don't remember this place.

My memory is confused.

It doesn't matter
what happened yesterday.

Or two months ago.

Consciousness is
a mental disorder

that deserves to be treated.

It's our cognizance of time,
events, and their consequences,

or lake thereof, that lead to
the real pain of being alive.

You're almost there.

We're almost there.

You're almost free.

I wanna be a part of it.

I wanna be part of it very much.

You ever been to a
family farm with seven

or eight chickens, free range,
a habitat made just for them?

It's quite a change
from the stringy

stressed out things
we're used to.

I've had really extreme anxiety,

depression, my whole life.

Honestly, your work is
the only thing keeping me

from wanting to kill myself.

Now, what we're talking about

is not exactly legal.

I know that and
I want to be a part of it.

I want to be a part of it
or I want to be nothing.

Can you help me?

You ever visit a family
farm with just seven

or eight chickens living
off the land, space to roam,

a habitat of their own making?

They look like an entirely
different species.

Not the stressed out stringy
things we're used to.

Can I see him?

- The promise is giving up
control of the mind and the body.

Past, future, planning,
decision making.

There are stages to
learning how to just be.

There's something
I need to tell you.

I just found out
a couple days ago.

I don't want it to
impact anything.

I'm pregnant.

You're having second thoughts?

If I died, it would die too,
so you're helping me live.

Shouldn't this tissue get
to live too because of you?

Isn't he beautiful?

Just imagine all you can become.

Sarah!

Sarah!

Sarah, come here.

Sarah, don't!

Sarah.

Sarah.

Sarah.

Sarah.

Sarah.

Sarah.

Shit.

Okay, Sarah.

Come on, Sarah.

Come on, baby.

All right.

Come on.

So, let me tell you what you're

getting yourself into here.

We believe, my partner and
I who I think you've met,

we believe that evolution has

not been kind to the human mind.

You yourself, you're
an example of that.

We've evolved wildly out of
control, taken over the world,

eradicated all the threats
that used to rein us in

in any meaningful way.

And here we are headed
towards entropy,

burning up all the fuel,
killing the planet,

getting ready to eradicate
ourselves in the process

all while these massive brains
keep us thinking, thinking.

Thinking about every
single one of those steps.

Watching ourselves
kill ourselves.

What's the good in that?

So our aim here, really, is
to press rewind a little bit.

Give as many people as
we can the experience

of being alive without the
trauma of being so aware of it.

A little ascension
sound good to you?

Okay.

But I'm interested in
developing some stronger ones.

Let's see if we can
get that brain of yours

back to a more manageable place.

Sound good?

Yeah.

Okay.

Great.

Let's begin.