Parched 2: Hangry (2019) - full transcript

(beeping)

(pounding)

(gasping)

(screaming)

(techno music)

- [Woman] This club is fire.

I pretty much could die happy here.

- [Woman] Paradise.

(techno music)

- [Woman] This is lit.

♪ If I could get happy I would ♪



- [Woman] Holy motherfucking cow.

Check out these camels.

♪ To pour over flowers ♪

♪ They'd soak me up like a sponge ♪

- [Woman] This is seriously amazing.

Here we come, Sydney.

(lyrics muffled)

Only one ho on this boat.

They should call this place
'Lakeland' instead of Iceland,

am I right?

No?

Okay, never mind.

♪ It's become a forest fire ♪

- [Woman] What do you think?



- [Woman] I think I'm
hot and dying of thirst.

How long is this damn bus ride?

- [Woman] Whoa, this is so lush.

I feel like Godzilla up here.

♪ And you were younger now ♪

- [Woman] It's a vibe.

(lyrics muffled)

German graffiti is low-key so dope.

I'm literally in love.

This is giving me such feels right now.

This clock is like 500 years old.

Meanwhile, my iPhone battery dies

in like 20 minutes, perfect.

This is tight.

(light electronic music)

Hey guys, it's Ligi, of LigiTV.

So, I'm always getting asked.

(dramatic electronic music)

♪ My demons are scared ♪

♪ They're trapped inside
the bottles of snow ♪

♪ A white Christmas red
with ashes (muffled) ♪

♪ The national anthem's
being sung by dying crows ♪

(lyrics muffled)

♪ Be right back ♪

♪ Like a phoenix resurrected my soul ♪

(bright electronic music)

- Hey Guys, it's Ligi, of LiGiTV!

So, I'm always getting asked
about who my friends are,

how I know them, and some other,

legit weird, questions about them, so,

this week's excursion isn't
to some exotic destination,

like last month's Bali, hashtag miss you.

This week I'm headed
to a chill lake house,

with all my bad bitches and broskis,

and we're just gonna
chill, swim, and get turnt.

All right, who's ready to party?

Okay guys,

we're almost at my
bestie Charlene's place.

You obvi know her best,

she's in a lot of my adventures,

smoking hashish in Goa

and almost getting murdered in Marrakech.

Okay, we're here.

(pop music)

- How the hell are you?

- Slightly stressed,
but ready to get down.

How are you babe?

And don't be rude, say hello.

- What's up bitches?

- You ready go?

- Yes, this hoochie ready to get Gucci.

- Woo, like the grip?

- Litty titty.

- So how's work?

- Oh, why it's so lovely.

What's better than eCommerce?

- Hell if I know, girl.

- I don't want to think about work at all.

I am so ready to get my relax on.

Oh shit, Ligi look out.

You almost hit that old guy.

- Yeah, almost.

- Your ass better be careful.

I'm turning this off until
we stop again, you psycho.

- Mis chicas, que tal bonitas?

- Easy dude.

So this is Renaldo,

you guys probably remember him from making

un burro out of himself at
my birthday party last year.

- Listen, those tables
should have been able

to hold one normal-sized man.

- And here is my BAE Ez,

hottest nurse outside of a porno.

- [Charlene] Hey sexy.
- Missed you.

Hello, adoring fans of Ligeia.

Are you on camera duty all weekend.

- [Charlene] Hell no, just for the ride.

- Shall we?

- So, you guys ready
for a lit-ass weekend?

- [Ligi] Will there be alcohol?

- Yo, I got that, and some
fire pimp from Zimbabwe.

- Oh my God.

- [Ligi] That was rhetorical, dude.

- No, we're gonna smoke that.

We're gonna play some Uno,

definitely truth or dare,

and then maybe, wait for it, strip poker.

- Yeah, you can wait for that,

because I am not playing strip poker,

and especially not with
this thing pointed at me.

- We'll see.

- [Charlene] You're such a perv-a-tron.

- So, Ez, you want to give us

the run down again on your friend?

I'm totally cool with her coming,

I'm literally just curious.

- Yeah, honestly she's a cool chick.

She's been through a lot,

but I think it's good for her to hang out

with some young fun people.

- [Charlene] And no
offense, she won't like,

go mental or anything?

- Char, really?
- I'm just asking.

- She's a sweet girl, I told you.

- [Charlene] I'm just, and
they're fine at the center

with you taking her?

- Yeah, everyone is there
on their own damn accord.

There's no legal obligation or anything.

They can leave at any time,

so the center does not give a shit.

Can I light up?

- It's medicinal, right?

- Medical grade, that's for sure.

- Claro.

- [Charlene] All right, let mama hit that.

Wait, that's organically grown right?

- Sure.

- No pesticides, only the best-icides.

- I think that this is her house up here.

Can you move your big ass over?

- I can be in the middle, mama.

- No, you wish.

- I heart you guys.

- [Ez] Okay yeah, right here.

- [Ligi] This one?

- [Charlene] Here she comes.

- Oh my God.

Are you okay?

What happened?

- You know, I just fell.

- Okay well, I'm really happy you made it.

- I'm happy you invited me.

- Guys, this is Shonda.

- You didn't tell me she was smokin' hot.

- So welcome to our crazy-ass car.

- It's totally okay, you can
say 'crazy' in front of me.

I'm like, cured, right?

- Yo, and she's got jokes.

- [Charlene] Totally.

- So car A is now full.

- Calling you, you mean car type A.

- And now we meet up with car B.

- With Cardi B?

I like it like that.

- Can you callate for one minute.

And then it's a straight
shot up the lake house.

Hey sexy people.

You guys ready to party?

- Let's bubble baby.

- [Ligi] Okay, follow me.

- All right, you'll do anything

for more followers won't you?

- [Ligi] That's facts.

- [Man] I see it.

- [Charlene] Ew!

- [Ligi] What?

- [Charlene] Nothing.

Did you see Tela's outfit?

- She's a queen.

- [Charlene] I mean, yeah, but like,

we're going a lake, not Cannes.

- I think she looks amazing.

- What's wrong with
caring about your image?

- I think she's really pretty.

- [Charlene] Know what her full name is?

- What?

- [Charlene] Well it was Rebecca Schwartz,

but that's not the point.

She had it legally changed to Tela Storé.

- And it still sounds dumb
as shit to this very day.

- I don't know, it's kind of creative.

- Yeah.

- [Charlene] Should we
give them someone to take?

So it's not so crowded in here?

- I could go.

- No no, with us.

- I'm comfy as shit.

- Happy trails, bitches!

Let's go!

Hi babe, that's good.

(funky jazz music)

(lyrics muffled)

- [Charlene] Oh, swaggy swaggerton.

- I told you all, LigiTV
does you in style.

- God, hurry up, Li,

I gotta drain the Gila monster.

- You're so freaking vulgar.

- It's mother nature.

- [Charlene] Okay, I'm over it.

Who's taking responsibility
for this thing?

- [Renaldo] Keys?

- [Ligi] Wait a second.

- [Renaldo] Nope, can't.

- Oh my God.

- [Charlene] So?

Come on, people.

- [Shonda] I'll do it.

- [Charlene] Okay, just be like, careful.

It's Ligi's like, livelihood.

- [Shonda] Hey guys, I'm Shonda,

Ez's friends I guess.

- I'm Oya.

Or you can call me 'O'.

Oh yeah.

- Tela, my pleasure sweetie.

(Shonda giggling)

- [Shonda] So, how do you all know Ligi?

- I went to school with her,

Carnegie Melon.

- [Shonda] Oh, very nice.

Top notch.

And you?

- I'm a performer.

- [Shonda] Oh, cool.

- Nothing is real.

Love is everything, and I know nothing.

- [Shonda] Ow wow.

Is that like a Maya Angelou quote?

- Kesha.

- [Ez] All good, Shon?

- [Shonda] Yup, just diving into it.

- Hey
- Hello.

- What's poppin' over here?

Let's get some shots of the house.

- You guys all hungry?

Imma start up the grill.

- [Renaldo] Fire that
up, I could eat a yak.

- [Charlene] Li, there's
two you said, right?

- [Ligi] Don't worry my
vegetable-loving friend.

No meat grease shall touch your zucchini.

- [Renaldo] That's what she said.

- [Oya] Wash your hands first.

- Okay, let me just,

okay, perfection.

Hey everybody, so we all
made it here in one piece.

Behind me is beautiful Lake Ariel,

and our cozy home for the weekend.

The rest of what you see will
be raw, pure, uncut footage.

Enjoy, and like and share.

Ohh, you zoomed in on that, I like that.

- [Shonda] Thanks.

What's ya doin' over there?

- Well since I'm just
friends with every dude here,

I'm checking out any options on Bumble.

- [Shonda] Any prospects?

- Not really.

Man, people up here in the
woods are not attractive.

Like some hideous hill people.

Oh, this one may be okay.

- Yo, Xavi, what up, bro?

Hey there, what's you got going on here?

- Oh, I'm,

I told you I'd have to
bring some of my work

if I was going to be able to come.

- Bro, you are obsessed.

- [Shonda] What's that?

- I work in a lab.

I'm helping develop something.

- [Shonda] Oh cool, what is it?

- It's an orexigenic.

- Hombre, in English, por favor.

- It's an appetite stimulant.

- [Shonda] Oh, for people with like,

eating disorders?

I know a few of those.

- Well that is one of the target groups,

but also geriatrics, and
oncology unit patients.

- [Shonda] They don't have that already?

There are some, but
they are very expensive,

or THC is used,

and that is outright
illegal in some states.

I'm helping develop something easily

replicated and affordable.

Well, that's the goal, excuse me.

- Trust me, he's fun at parties, okay.

- [Shonda] I'm gonna check out the place.

- Yeah.

Woo!

- Hey, Li.

- Damn, you scared me.

- Sorry.

- That's fine.

So what's up, Xav?

How ya been?

- I just wanted to thank you,

for like, inviting me.

- You're part of the
crew, dude, of course.

So you ready to cut loose?

- Uh sure, everybody get,

foot loose, I'm gonna
go put my stuff away.

- Swag.

(Shonda laughing)

(Renaldo hooting)

- [Tela] You are such a dick!

- [Oya] Nice shot Renaldo.

- [Renaldo] Woo!

Conyo!

Frio!

Oh mi huevos!

- He's such a massive baby.

- [Renaldo] Come on.

- Woo, damn it is cold.

- I told you.

- Okay come on, the rest of
you better get your asses in.

- And with this swan
dive I will now show you

why I was All-County in swimming.

Woo, yeah!

Woo, refreshing as shit guys, come on in!

- [Ez] Ah, it's so cold!

- [Oya] That's lake life, baby.

- [Xavi] Ligi, want to go in?

I will if you will.

- I can't ruin my hair
until the last day here.

Sorry fam, but I have to be camera ready.

- [Charlene] Princess!

- Shut up, I also suck at swimming.

I'm like the queen of doggy-paddle.

- And I'm the king of doggy-style.

- You're the king of the worst jokes.

- Come on in, come on people.

Let's go.

- Make room, Ivy League, I'm goin' in.

- [Shonda] You goin' in, Tela?

(laughing)

- Not my thing, thanks though.

- [Shonda] Well, you
only live once, right?

- Seriously?

- [Shonda] Sorry.

- Nice.

- F this.

- [Man] Woo!

- Yeah!

(hooting)

- These people are complete maniacs.

- Pretty good.

- Yeah.

- [Renaldo] Ow!

- [Ligi] What happened?

- [Renaldo] Something bit me.

- [Tela] What, really?

- [Oya] What man?

- You didn't see it, that eel.

(screaming)

- Wait, wait.

I think it was,

nada!

(laughing)

You guys are so gullible.

Like, sea-gull-ible.

Your faces.

- Your level of asshole has
reached epic proportions.

- [Ez] Pendejo.

- You're dead, Chico!

- [Renaldo] Mierda!

- You sure you don't mind filming, Xavi?

- [Xavi] It's my absolute pleasure.

- I know you're mad good at photography,

so you'll probably get all the best shots.

You've got the eye.

- [Xavi] Thanks, I'm all right.

- Babe, are you trying to ruin my life?

- Huh?

- You know I can't do
carbs, wheat, or gluten.

- Hey.

- Oh, sorry.

- Hey, so how's the acting thing going?

- Amazing.

- Really?

Are you in anything that we can see?

- Well, I had to sign an
NDA, so I'm not really, like,

allowed to talk about it,

but I'm gonna be on a Netflix show.

- Wow, you're really
living your best life.

- Yeah, it was like, transcendental.

- Tell us about it.

- Charlene, like I just said,

I can't get into the details of it,

but I did work with one of the Hemsworths.

- No shit, which one?

- Well--

- Jesus.

Weren't you just an extra?

- Your extra.

- You are a shitty boyfriend.

Hilarious, but a real shit bf.

- That was cold, hermano.

- She'll get over it.

- Yo Xav, let me see that thing.

- [Xavi] Well, I just got it.

- Come on, yo I videoed
my sister's wedding once,

that shit was like

Guillermo Del Toro meets Robert Rodriguez.

- Any other Latin directors
you wanna toss in?

- Uh, Almovodar?

- Name one of his films.

- I'm gonna say the fifth installment

of "The Fast and Furious"?

- Yeah, that's it.

- Xav, come on.

- [Xavi] Ask Ligi.

- Ligi, please?

- Yeah, okay, just be careful.

- Got it.

- Thank God.

Xavi, you're an angel.

- Nah.

- Well, okay come on pop a squat.

- Okay, so

who wants to go first?

And these stories all have to be real,

no like, urban legends
anything corny like "The Hook."

- But I love "Hook."

Peter Pan, mi hombre.

- Not that "Hook", culo.

The murderous one.

- Oh, you mean like a killer hooker.

I feel you.

- Yeah, that's the one.

Are you willfully ignorant,

or just a genius at pretending to be dumb?

- Let's go with genius.

- Okay, I know a story.

A real one.

So you guys all know I'm
one-quarter Nigerian, right?

- Hello, how else did you
get into a good school?

- Anyways.

This happened to my
grandfather, back in Nigeria.

So in his village, they practice
a religion called Maguzawa,

where they believe that spirits

inhabited the air, called Iska,

and that they had a shaman,
like a witch doctor,

who would tend to them.

So one day one of the village elders died,

and the wife was just grief-stricken.

Just devastated.

So, being one of the
only people with money,

she went to the shaman

and asked him to resurrect her husband.

But in order to do so,

you would have to bring
back another spirit,

a not so nice one, one they call Bori.

And they say that they have

strong bonds with the human soul,

so strong that you can even bring a spirit

back into the original body.

So one night they were

dragging this body through the village,

and it went past my grandfather's house,

so he snuck out and wanted to see

what all the commotion was about.

So, he saw the shaman doing
all these weird incantations,

and rituals to the body,
summoning the Bori.

And then, he snuck even closer.

When suddenly--

(yelling and laughing)

- [Xavi] You both are such dicks.

- Oh man, that Africa shit is scary man.

- He got me too, bro.

- You guys, seriously.

- Hey, he told me it happened.

- I mean, that was good.

But no more jumping out.

Just good old-fashioned,
creepy, real tales.

- Okay, true story gestapo.

- I think I have an interesting one.

- [Ligi] Lay it on us.

- Do you remember, I
used to work in the ER

back in Glendale.

Well this one night this guy came in,

and he said that there was
a ghost in his apartment.

And he said that it, "Puso aglo en mi."

- And that means?

- It put something in me.

- Exactamundo.

He kept repeating it and repeating it,

so we obviously had to sedate him.

But then we took him down to X-ray.

And he had a mini wine bottle

shoved all the way up his anal canal.

Like seriously, in his colon.

It was rammed in there.

So obviously, we had to operate,

and then when he came to,

he wouldn't say anything about it.

- [Oya] Yeah, he was
probably embarrassed as shit.

- Yeah well, I tried to talk to him,

but you know, what I'm good at.

And he just had this creepy,

terrified face.

And he said one word.

- [Charlene] What?

- Fantasma.

- [Renaldo] Conyo.

- [Ez] Es la verdad, homies.

- I got a story.

- What a surprise.

- [Ligi] I mean, it is your last name.

- [Ez] Anytime.

- Okay, so this is totally true.

It was like, on the news,

and it happened, right around here.

- [Ez] Do tell.

- This group of friends came upstate here,

to like, party, and they
broke into a deserted house.

- [Charlene] Speaking of geniuses.

- Sounds like they were
dying to get murdered.

- Can I finish?

They weren't murdered by like a psycho,

they murdered themselves.

- [Charlene] Huh?

- They drank this poisoned water,

from like a river or something,

and all lost their shit.

They killed each other
in really messed up ways.

- [Ez] Like what?

- One drowned.

One got her eyes ripped out.

And they were all found with
pitchforks in their backs.

- [Ez] Jesus.

- One did survive though, I heard.

He's still roaming the woods,
like a fugative and shit.

On the lamb.

- I love lamb chops.

- [Charlene] Ew, you would.

(twig snapping)

- [Renaldo] Shh, what was that?

- Your bullshit, taking tangible form.

- [Ligi] No, I heard it, too.

- It's the one who survived!

They're coming to kill us!

- They better hurry, because
I'm about to die of boredom.

- You want to hear something really scary?

Growing up in the foster
care system wasn't,

it wasn't easy.

Let's just say I had to deal

with my fair share of grabby daddies.

When I was old enough
to, you know, fight back,

this one gem of a guy,

this fat, nasty piece of shit,

he came for me in my room, late one night,

after his clueless wife was asleep.

I mean, this was kind of a regular thing,

but this night was different.

I was ready for him.

He yanks the covers off of me,

and I stabbed that piggy in the stomach

with a knife that I
stole from the kitchen.

The look in his eyes,
just so damn shocked.

He had that like, deer in
headlights thing you know.

I held his gaze for like a minute.

Then he fell backwards, on to the floor,

and bled out on to the
already stained carpet.

Guys, I'm just kidding.

- [Renaldo] Damn girl, you got us good.

- [Charlene] Jesus.

- Yeah, I know.

Anyway,

he took the knife out, and backhanded me.

Then I guess he went to the
bathroom and bandaged his wound.

But he never touched me again after that.

(crickets chirping)

So what happened to that jay?

What happened to the rotation.

- [Renaldo] Get that girl her weed.

- [Ligi] Okay, whose turn is it?

It's definitely Charlene's turn.

- All right, never have I ever,

gotten a tattoo.

- Oh my God.

- All right, kiddos.

Fun day today, but I am beat
like a red-headed stepchild.

I am so sorry.

- I was a foster kid, not a step, anyway.

No harm, no whatever.

- Okay, I'm gonna hit the hay.

I'll take that off your hands.

- [Xavi] You got it, Ligi.

Have a really nice sleep.

- Yeah, you too.

I'll see you sucky bitches tomorrow.

Is this thing, ah damn it.

- Babe, come on, that was your cue.

- [Oya] This is so stupid.

- No it's not.

- I don't get how this is
supposed to help your career.

- Hello, how do you think
Kimmy K got her start?

- That's who you want to emulate?

As an actress, that's your role model?

- Why not, she's hella famous.

- And why do we have to use Ligi's camera?

We can't we just use your phone?

- Ew, I want this to be classy, duh.

- This is a bad idea.

What if your parents see it?

- Why are you being like this?

I need to get on the map, like now.

I'm not getting any younger.

- You're 23.

- Yeah, exactly.

Babe, most guys would kill
to have their hot girlfriend

want to make a tape like this.

- Well, if you haven't noticed--

- Oh my God, do not say,
you're not most guys.

Just get over here and do your job.

(romantic jazz music)

(lyrics muffled)

(knocking on door)

- Who is it?

- It's Li, have you guys
seen my camera anywhere?

- Nope.

- [Ligi] Oh okay, sorry
if I interrupted anything.

- Come in.

- [Ligi] Oh shit, are you?

- Shut the door.

- What the hell?

What the hell is wrong with you two?

- It wasn't my idea.

- Ligi, don't be a damn prude.

You're obviously into it.

- This is totally off-brand for me.

- [Tela] Can you Dropbox me the footage?

- [Ligi] Yeah, totally.

(crickets singing)

(belching)

- [Renaldo] (laughing) Look at this fool.

(whistling)

Yo what's up?

What's up, brother?

What are you doing out here?

- Thanks man, but I'm working.

- [Renaldo] Dude, have a
brewski with your broski.

We're on vacation.

- All right, one.

Maybe it will help me clear my head.

(opening beer)

- [Renaldo] Well, what's
you working on over there?

- My orexigenic.

- You know,

I know that like, I said,

I know what you were talking about

with that Shonda chick, or whatever.

But I really have no idea
what you were saying.

I'm starving now, I literally just ate.

- I told you,

there's a serious demand
in the medical market.

- [Renaldo] I mean, why
wouldn't they just toke up,

and smoke away all their problems?

- I told you man,

a lot of facilities do use THC,

but the legality varies
from state to state.

My formula doesn't come with
sticky legal strings attached.

- [Renaldo] Got it, I
think I remember now.

So what's the problem here?

Same issues?

- Indeed, identical issue.

There's something in the chemical compound

that defies normal empirical logic.

- [Renaldo] I hear that.

- Really?

- [Renaldo] No, not really.

I have no idea what you're talking about

at all times sir.

You need to explain
yourself better, professor.

- It's a very potent compound.

It's extremely effective.

- [Renaldo] Bueno.

- No, no bueno.

It's too strong.

When you dilute it with water,

instead of decreasing

the potency, it augments it.

It reacts capriciously
with the water found

in all carbon-based organisms.

- [Renaldo] Uh huh.

- Basically, there's no
way to control the dosage,

at this point.

I think it has something to do

with the hydrogen component
inherent in the formula,

and if I adjust something.

- [Renaldo] Oh my God, shut the f--

You are hurting my brain.

Just please finish the beer,
I'll get you another one.

If you just stop talking
and just chill out

with your bro for once, come on.

- Renaldo, you know I'm a lightweight.

- [Renaldo] Yeah you're a lightweight,

you're like 80 pounds.

Just chug the damn thing, and chill out.

- I guess one night off can't hurt.

- [Renaldo] Yes, thank you.

So you still crushing on Ligi?

- What?

No, I'm not,

I don't see her like that.

She's way out of my league anyway.

But um.

- [Renaldo] Dude, you're gonna have

all the honeys bangin' on your door,

when you're a famous-ass scientist.

They're gonna be like,
oh Xavi Xavi please,

experiment me.

- Right.

Name one famous scientist you know.

- [Renaldo] Einstein,
boom, mad ladies bro.

- Nah, I'm not good with women.

That's your department.

And Einstein's.

- [Renaldo] You got me
all twisted brother.

I'm actually a one-woman type of guy.

- Really?

- [Renaldo] Just waiting
on that special person.

(laughing)

- So what?

You just been holding out this whole time?

That's not cool.

- I've been waiting

for the perfect opportunity, little mama.

- Is that so?

Is that what this is?

- Claro.

So you ready?

- If you think that I
won't skinny-dip on camera

for some molly,

you got a lot to learn, chico.

Let's get this fiesta started.

- Andale.

A show, huh?

- Mm-hmm.

A little show for my papi.

(muffled)

You know I will.

Oh.

- Look at you.

- [Shonda] Ow!

(Shonda exhaling)

Hey cowboy, are you getting in too?

- No way mami, I got a rep to protect.

- [Shonda] You prick!

(laughing)

Whatever, I'm fine in here alone,

and the water is fine.

Actually, it's so cold in there.

- I'll warm you up.

That's enough free-per-view for tonight.

(Shonda squealing)

Look at this damn fool.

What's up?

What's up?

You lit?

(laughing)

- What's up, my people?

Welcome to day two of our
weekend warrior activities.

As you can see, some people had
a rougher night than others.

- [Charlene] Is this kid serious.

- Be nice, I'm glad he
finally let off some steam.

How are the rest of you guys?

- [Oya] Hydrating.

- Moisturizing.

- Partying.

(popping)

Ladies, mimosas?

- [Charlene] Yes, please.

- One.

- [Ez] Hook it up.

- Two.

M'lady.

- Thank you.

- Hey, where's your friend?

- Oh, she's in the kitchen.

- What?

What did you do?

- Nothing, I did nothing.

- Right.

- Listen, I just showed
that girl a good time.

What's the crime in that?

- [Charlene] You are literally the worst.

- I'm like, second, maybe
third worst, at best.

All right guys, you're killin' my vibe.

Let's get those party juices flowing.

Mira, everybody in the water.

Now.

Number one hangover cure.

- That's pretty accurate.

- [Charlene] Yeah, it's
already hot as shit.

I'm going in, Ligi, all yours.

(splashing)

- Oh my God.

- Come on in.

- Come on.

- Uh uh, come on.

- I say we give this boy
the old Bogota christening.

- What is that?

- I don't know, I just made it up,

but let's get his ass in the water.

- No, you're evil.

- [Ligi] Actually, that
would be kind of hilarious.

Do it.

- Okay.

Only if we all get in,

and let me take his shirt off
first so it doesn't get dirty.

- All right.

Ready?

Uno,

dos,

tres!

(laughing)

Yes!

- [Ligi] Hey, you going
in or what, tough guy?

- Uh, yeah in a minute.

- Help me up!

- All right, hombre, come on.

I got you.

Oh my God, 20 pounds heavier.

- Thanks, you asshole.

- You got it.

- Hey, hey, where's my box?

- [Ligi] What box?

- My box, my work, my chemistry set.

Where is it?

- [Ligi] Relax, we'll find it.

- [Oya] Hey, what's going on up there?

- [Ligi] Hey, you're freaking us out.

What's the matter?

- Where is it?

- Oh shit.

- [Xavi] What?

- I think by accident it might have

fell in the water last night.

Sorry bro.

- What?

- Don't look at me, it was
that Shonda check, okay.

It's all on tape.

- [Ligi] Whoa, what?

- Out, everyone out!

- [Tela] What's the problem?

- Get out of the water!

- [Ez] What's going on?

- It could be contaminated!

(yelling)

- What's happening?

- It's actually probably nothing.

Sorry, I just got mad and I overreacted.

- What, what do you mean?

- My formula, if this
idiot and your friend

knocked it into the water,

it could have,

we may have inadvertently
ingested some of it.

It's really probably nothing,

sorry to freak everyone out.

- Okay, but what was the formula for?

- It's an appetite stimulant.

- [Charlene] Oh, Jesus Hernando Christ.

You made it sound like was cyanide,

or Olestra or something.

- Well, I don't know about you,

but I do not want to be
increasing my appetite.

Hello, professional actress.

Ew.

- [Ligi] Guys, come on, chill.

- Yeah Xavi,

is that all it is?

- Yeah, for real, that's all it is.

- Okay guys, then everybody chill.

- But stay out of the
water though, just in case.

- Mm-hmm.

(crosstalk)

- Hey Shonda, are you okay girl?

- Mm-hmm, I'm just hungry.

- Hey, where are you going?

Do you want me to come with you?

- No no, just for a walk.

- Should I go with her?

- Mmm, give her some space for a bit.

If she doesn't come in like an hour,

we'll get her.

- An hour?

- [Ligi] Yeah, I don't want anyone

getting lost in the woods.

- Hey, she's a big girl,
she said she's fine.

- Yeah, don't mother her.

- I'm sensing some real
unhealthy stress here, guys.

- Same.

- Perhaps we should spark up?

(laughing)

- [Ligi] Oh Lord,

here we go.

- Dank.

- [Ligi] You ain't kidding, mamasita.

- [Oya] Grazie, bellas.

- I am a mobile party,
what did I tell you ladies?

- [Ligi] Okay, somebody take this.

I can't be responsible for my own shit.

- [Charlene] Not me,
I've done way too much.

- [Ligi] Wait, Renaldo,

you used this last night?

- What did I say?

- [Ligi] You are a legit pervert,

and are on punishment
for the rest of the trip.

- Hey, just because I like to show

a variety of women a good time,

doesn't mean I'm not a
true romantic at heart.

You feel me?

- Seriously, dude, time is the fuck up.

- [Ligi] You like the cam so much?

You're on document duties
for the rest of the trip.

And don't miss anything
going on between them.

I want to see how this plays out.

- [Charlene] Hello?

What the hell does that mean?

- Relax homie.

Everybody just seems on edge.

This makes for great IGTV.

- Damn ma, you a stone cold footage fox.

- Duh.

- I need to talk to you.

- [Renaldo] What?

- Turn that off.

- [Renaldo] Hey, how them
vittles coming, hombre?

- I don't know Renaldo,

that weed you've got was strong as shit.

I'm literally starving.

- I'm hungry as shit.

Come on, babe.

- Yeah, let's go.

- You guys good?

- Never been better.

- Okay, whatever.

- [Shonda] You like that, don't you?

- [Xavi] I um, I just
wanted to see how you were,

oh wow, okay please,

don't stop.

- [Shonda] You like to
tell me what to do, right?

- [Xavi] Um, whoa I mean.

- [Shonda] Do you want to choke me?

- [Xavi] Huh?

- [Shonda] Is that what you like, daddy?

- [Xavi] Um, daddy?

- [Shonda] Do it.

- [Xavi] Okay, is that good?

- [Shonda] Oh yeah, do you
want these sucked on too?

- [Xavi] Oh my God, I can't
believe this is happening.

Are you sure you're feeling all right?

- [Shonda] Do you?

- [Xavi] Sure, okay.

- [Shonda] That tastes so good, daddy.

So good, I can't stop.

Maybe it's time for some
pain for you, daddy.

- [Xavi] Huh, ow!

What the, what are you doing?

- [Shonda] I guess I got
a little carried away.

- [Renaldo] Loco.

Beautiful outdoors.

- Don't film me!

- [Renaldo] I bet that's the
first time you ever said that.

- [Oya] What aren't you
telling us, you little dick?

Why isn't it stopping?

- I don't know man.

- No no, you do, this isn't right.

- What's the problem, asshole?

- In case you haven't
noticed, we're infected!

Whatever he brought here,
it fell in the lake,

and now we're all
feeling the side effects!

You're not hungry as shit
because you have the munchies.

We're in serious trouble.

Is there an antidote?

- I mean, a formula I was working on

to potentially counteract
the symptoms, yeah.

- And the antidote was in the set, right?

Which is at the bottom of the lake,

so now we're screwed.

- [Renaldo] I'll dive
down and get it, bro.

- How the hell do you
think you're gonna do that?

How are you gonna find a
little liquid vial down there?

- And you risk more
exposure by going in again.

- That's it, we're going to the hospital,

right now, to get our stomachs pumped.

Let's go.

What the hell do you think
you're doing, little man?

- Look, it's okay I think.

It's not that bad.

- Yeah, oh yeah?

- It should begin to dissipate.

- Dissipate?

- I mean, it will begin to fade away.

- I know what dissipate means, asshole!

- Sorry, the hunger pangs will subside,

we'll all be fine.

- I'm not taking the goddamn
chance, out of my way!

- Listen, I made a mistake.

I wasn't supposed to take anything

from the lab this weekend,

I don't really have
that kind of clearance.

If anyone found out, I could lose my,

I could lose everything.

- This is the face of a guy
who doesn't give a fuck!

- Listen,

it's all okay.

We just have to keep ourselves satiated,

without overdoing it and
everything should be fine.

(Shonda growling)

- Shonda, Shonda,

are you okay?

- I'm sorry, I can't stop.

- Holy shit!

- I had to.

- I know.

- Babe, please.

I'm scared.

- The appetite stimulant, it's too strong.

We're not gonna be able satiate ourselves.

We're gonna, we're gonna gorge ourselves

into gastro-rupture.

- [Renaldo] God, in English please.

- Our minds are gonna keep telling

our bodies to keep eating,

and our stomach is full,

so, we're gonna eat ourselves
until we burst, to death.

- Well, let's get to the hospital now.

- Where's Charlene?

We can't leave without her.

- Okay, so go get your friend.

Now!

Should I tie her up?

- I don't know, how far is the hospital?

- I'll do 100, let's just go.

- Wait wait wait wait,

I'll go get Charlene,

and then me and her will go in my car.

Go.

- Come on, come on.

Shit.

- What, babe?

- My keys, they must have fallen out

when I was dealing with her.

One sec.

- Oh God.

- [Tela] What, Oya?

- That little prick!

- Who?

Xavi!

He must have came up behind
me and taken my keys.

- No.

- Yes.

He's so worried about his goddamn career

he's willing to let us all,

I don't know but it
sure as shit ain't good.

Come on, let's just go find Ligi,

we'll take her keys, let's go.

- Ligi?
- Come on.

Come on.
- Ligi.

- [Renaldo] Shit.

- No, this isn't right, this isn't normal.

I don't just feel hungry, Ligi,

I feel like I'm losing my shit.

I want, I need more.

- What are you?

- I don't know, I don't know.

What's wrong with me?

I can't stop.

It's not enough.

I want--

- You're scaring the shit out of me, Char.

- I'm sorry.

- Oh shit.

- Wait, wait, wait.

We need your keys, mine are gone.

Look, you go after your
friend, but please?

- Are you kidding me?

- No, what do you mean?

- I can't find mine either.

- It's Xavi.

He took them.

We have to find him.

Damn it!

- What the hell is going on?

- [Renaldo] I don't know, Li.

- Shonda was exposed to
the water the longest,

and that's why she is
completely cray right now.

It's only a matter of time before

the rest of them are like that, right?

- [Renaldo] Everybody, just could be

having a different reaction.

- Maybe I should go to the neighbors

and see if they can
take us to the hospital?

- [Renaldo] I guess so, yeah.

- Pssst.

- Xavi, what the hell is going on?

You took our keys?

- Look, I had to.

Going to the hospital won't help.

I promise.

There's no real antidote,

not one that I'm certain
will even work right now,

not on humans,

and pumping our stomachs
won't do anything.

It's already in our systems and
just has to work itself out.

- Dude, come on, what
are you not telling us?

Why are so afraid to get caught?

It was just an accident, right?

- [Renaldo] Yeah, man.

- What?

- The reason I couldn't
take this from the lab,

is the test subjects.

- Okay, what does that mean?

- The rats.

Obviously it worked on them.

They wouldn't stop eating though.

Some ate themselves to death.

Their organs exploding.

When we took food away from them,

they turned on each other.

And the worst part.

- [Renaldo] Yeah?

- When we isolated them,

they turned on themselves.

- Jesus Christ,

you mean?

- Self-cannabalization.

- So why the hell did you think
we should wait it out, here?

- Shh, because I fixed that component.

That's what I was working on last night.

It should neutralize the
effects, over time, I think.

- You think?

(yelling)

- [Charlene] I'm sorry.

- You crazy bitch!

- Shit, the power's out.

Hey, hey guys.

You guys all right?

We're gonna go to the
neighbors and see if we can--

- No!

(crickets singing)

- [Renaldo] I'm shutting this off, okay?

- No, I want every single
bit of this documented.

- [Renaldo] Why?

- Are you kidding?

I mean, it may be useful later,

to show what really happened,

in case anything really serious goes down.

- [Renaldo] Okay.

- And yeah, okay,

it'll make an amazing segment,

like, so many views.

Fuck, what are we gonna do?

- [Renaldo] You think Xav's right?

- I think we're about to get eaten

like the goddamn lab rats.

I'm calling the police.

- [Renaldo] Are you sure?

- Yes!

Jesus Christ!

- Wait, wait, okay,

you can call the police,

but please don't say anything about

where they got, you
know, the chemicals from.

- God damn you, Xavi.

Fine.

- [Renaldo] You are like
Kenny from South Park, dawg.

- Hi, I'm at 459 Lakeview Drive,

and uh, my friends are, uh,

they got really really high,

and, we need, medical
attention like, right now.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay, thank you.

They have a unit in the area.

- [Renaldo] Same.

- You're making jokes right now?

- Oh God.

- And how come you're not
trying to eat our faces off?

- I was only in the
water for a few seconds.

I don't think I ingested that much,

or that it got in through
my other orifices.

My exposure was less severe.

- Lucky you.

- Ligi, thank you for not
saying anything about,

well, thank you.

- [Renaldo] So, how did you lose Charlene?

She looked like she was seriously

in the mood for some Chinese.

- Asshole.

She got hit by a log
or something and fell,

and I was able to duck inside and hide.

- Give me my damn keys.

- I don't have them.

- Where are they?

And don't tell me you lost them--

- I threw them in the lake.

- [Renaldo] Dude.

- Are you kidding me?

- I'm sorry, I panicked.

I mean, at the time, I didn't know.

I was scared, what do you expect?

(banging)

(screaming)

- Oh shit, it's (muffled).

(glass breaking)

(screaming)

- [Renaldo] Oya!

Nice shot.

- [Ligi] Xavi?

Xavi?

- Oh, sorry, hmm?

- [Ligi] Yes, put some furniture

over the window he just broke.

- I got it.

- I'm gonna tie him up.

Put that down and help me.

- [Renaldo] You're the boss.

So the cops are gonna
get here soon, right?

- Yes, hopefully.

- So they'll be able to
take everybody else in,

and keep them safe from themselves,

and everything will be fine,

we'll have a happy
ending, after all, right?

- [Ligi] Yeah, jolly as all hell.

- [Xavi] All done, should be okay.

- [Ligi] You sure?

- [Xavi] Yes, it's secure.

(siren approaching)

- [Ligi] Hey, get this.

(crickets singing)

- This is Edwards at 459 Lakeview.

We're gonna need some back--

What in the holy shittery?

I just put new batteries in this goddamn

Taiwanese-made piece of--

(growling)

What the, Ahh!

(cop screaming)

- [Renaldo] God damn,
they're eating that pig.

Most not be kosher.

- [Xavi] This isn't good.

Hey, why are you filming this?

- [Renaldo] She told me to.

- That is mine.

Do not touch it.

I tried to protect you before,

but now that our friends
just ate a fucking cop,

all allegiances are out the window.

- [Renaldo] Guys, stop it.

We have to stick together.

Before we--

Where is?

Xavi?

(growling)

- She's been eating her own flesh.

(Shonda growling)

(Xavi screaming)

(growling)

- [Renaldo] Damn, you are resourceful.

- Where's Oya?

Should we make a run for it?

- They're on this side of the house,

let's slip out this way, come on.

(yelling)

- Oh my God, I think he's--

(horn honking)

(crickets singing)

- Hey,

is anybody home?

- [Ligi] Shh!

Don't move, wait right there.

We'll come out.

- Huh?

I'm Daryl.

I'm supposed to meet Charlene.

We matched.

Well damn, hello to you.

This is my kind of kinky-ass party.

(screaming)

(screaming)

- [Ligi] Oh God.

(Daryl screaming)

- Too many people are legit dying.

We have to get the antidote,

even if it's a long shot.

- [Renaldo] Right, but you heard Xavi,

he said if we get into the water, too,

we'll get infected.

- That's only if you swallow it.

If you keep your mouth shut
and you hold your breath,

you'll be fine.

- [Renaldo] I'll be fine?

- Yes.

Look, I'll have a knife with
me, I'll have your back.

- [Renaldo] Sweet baby Jesus.

- Renaldo, please.

Tela, Ez, Charlene.

They need our help.

- [Renaldo] Okay, fine.

I'll admit I do feel a bit respons--

Okay, just get the knife.

Do we have a flashlight?

- Yeah, I saw one in the kitchen.

- [Renaldo] Okay, vamos.

- [Ligi] Shit, guys.

(women screaming)

(crickets singing)

Please, just keep your mouth shut.

(Renaldo yelling)

- [Renaldo] Help!

The goddamn fish.

- Oh shit, didn't think of that.

- They're like piranha.

- [Ligi] You can't get the set?

- I think a turtle tried
to bite my dick off.

It's too dark down there.

Let's go back to the house.

- [Ligi] What are we gonna do?

- I don't have a clue.

- [Ligi] Okay okay, let
me think, let me think.

Okay, here's the plan.

We lure Charlene in here, subdue her,

tie her up, along with the other two,

and then we take that guy's car,

and then we go to the hospital.

All right?

- You sure that's a good idea

with everything we've been going through?

- [Ligi] Yes, I don't give a shit about

getting in trouble any more.

We have to help them.

- What?

- [Ligi] Shh.

Goddamn it, open it.

Oh my God!

(Renaldo retching)

Oh my God.

Would you put them back,
I can't look at them.

Charlene is the only one left.

She is my best friend.

I will not let her die from this

in a goddamn AirBnB.

We're sticking to the plan.

We trap her, and take her
to the hospital, understood?

- [Renaldo] Yeah, yeah.

- Okay good.

Go out there and make yourself bait.

Grab the guy's keys.

- [Renaldo] From his body?

- Yes, grab the keys in his pockets,

fumble around a little
bit, make a lot of noise,

and when Charlene goes to attack you,

I'll, I'll,

I'll bash her head in with this,

we'll knock her out, we'll throw
her in the back of the car,

and we'll roar the hell out of here.

- [Renaldo] Jesus.

- Okay?
- Okay.

All right, all right.

- All right, let me adjust.

- [Renaldo] All right.

- [Ligi] You have the keys.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, she's out cold.

- What?

- Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

(Ligi breathing heavily)

- I'm so sorry.

I never thought any of this would happen.

- [Ligi] What would happen?

- All of it.

I didn't want anyone to die.

- [Ligi] What do you mean?

- I just wanted us to
be me and you, you know.

- [Ligi] No, I don't know Renaldo.

What are you saying?

- I knew with everybody
in here you'd be so busy.

- [Ligi] Yes?

- I just wanted to have
you to myself for a bit.

- [Ligi] What did you do?

- Xavi, before, he told me about

the serum he was working on,

I knew I had to get it into the water,

and get everyone swimming in there.

Maybe they would get a
little sick or whatever.

It doesn't matter, I
knew I had to keep you

out of the water.

You made that very clear that
you wouldn't go swimming,

because you didn't want to mess
up your amazing hair, right?

I knew they would maybe eat shit

and feel better in the morning.

It doesn't matter.

I wanted it to be us,

just for one night.

I really am a romantic at heart.

I'm a one-woman man.

You're all I ever wanted.

- [Ligi] Wait, what?

You did all of this,

just so we could be together?

- Yes.

- [Ligi] And the thing with Shonda?

- So I didn't want anyone to think

I just poured the serum into the lake,

so I convinced Shonda, come with me,

and then I positioned it so they

would just knock in there,

and we would get it all on camera.

Pretty smart, right?

Come on, Ligi, babe.

Please, talk to me.

Tell me what you're thinking.

Tell me what going on in your head?

I need to--

(yelling)

- [Ligi] Dios Mio.

Shit.

(Oya gurgling)

- [Ligi] Have to, I have to,
I have to get out of here.

(Ligi breathing heavily)

(owl hooting)

Hi,

it's Ligi

of LiGiTV.

All of my friends died here.

I feel completely responsible.

(crickets singing)

I don't know how I'll
ever get through this.

But with the love and support

of my adoring fans,

I'll make it through this,
really difficult time.

Link and comment below.

God bless.

And thank you.

(screaming)

(gasping)

(coughing)

(footsteps)

(Ligi coughing)

(crickets singing)

(acoustic guitar music)

♪ It's been a hundred days like 30 years ♪

♪ Since I've seen you too ♪

♪ One Mary there, the colored hair ♪

♪ Wearing pretty shoes ♪

♪ She said I'll make your bed ♪

♪ Just the way you like ♪

♪ And I'll cook all your favorite foods. ♪

♪ Just come back and
fill that empty space ♪

♪ Inside my living room ♪

♪ Where we will sit in (muffled) ♪

♪ Where we would sit
and I'll talk to you ♪

♪ I said I'm sorry mama I'm not done ♪

♪ I've still got so much ♪

♪ And so much left to do ♪

♪ When I come home, sit and talk ♪

♪ Sit and talk to you ♪

♪ It will figure out the truth ♪

♪ Well that put silly
strings and memories ♪

♪ Walking through the zoo ♪

♪ And now I'm five years close to you ♪

(lyrics muffled)

♪ Now I've grown, you're getting old ♪

(lyrics muffled)

♪ A river doesn't struggle ♪

♪ A river doesn't struggle ♪

♪ A river doesn't struggle ♪

♪ A river doesn't struggle ♪

♪ A river doesn't struggle ♪

♪ A river doesn't struggle ♪

♪ A river doesn't struggle ♪

♪ A river doesn't struggle ♪

♪ A river doesn't struggle ♪

♪ A river doesn't struggle ♪

♪ A river doesn't struggle ♪

♪ A river doesn't struggle ♪

(beeping)