Pain and Glory (2019) - full transcript

A film director reflects on the choices he's made as past and present come crashing down around him.

Legenda: Subtitle Cat | Review: Victor Luís

I would like to be a man to bathe in the river naked.

Uh! What value!

What things you have, Rosita!

Say yes.

And that you get good water in all the pepe.

- My child, what a pleasure! -Well, yes, yes.

Hey, before you jump into the water,

Take the child off me, who has me delfa.

Let's see, Salvador, come here.

Let's see ... Look ... Here you have a stick to play.

-Voucher. -Come on.

-Help me, Mari, with the sheets. -I go.

The soapy minnows!

Look! There you have them!

The soapy minnows!

-Say something, Rosita. -How cute.

♪ A tu vera ... ♪

How cute.

♪ A tu vera Always a verita of yours ♪

♪ Always your little one Until I die of grief ♪

♪ Do not look at your eyes ♪

♪ Do not knock on your door ♪

Salvita, do not move from there.

♪ Do not tread at night ♪

♪ The stones of your alley ♪

♪ A tu vera Always a verita of yours ♪

♪ Always at your little one Until I die of love ♪

♪ Look what they say and say ♪

♪ See that afternoon that ♪

♪ Look, he left and he came ♪

♪ From your house to the mall ♪

♪ And so, looking and looking ♪

♪ That's how it started ♪

♪ My blindness ♪


I'm Zulema!

-What a surprise! -Zulema!

Oh, what a joy!

Can you have a coffee with me or are you in a hurry?

If you do not write or wheels, what will you do?

-Live, I suppose. -I can not live without acting.

It is getting harder every time, but I do everything they propose to me.

Do you see Alberto?

-I think he was in Argentina ... -No, no, in Mexico.

He was working on some soap operas, but he has already returned.


I met him at a Latin film festival in the Riviera Maya.

He was charming.

Past, but it was a very ... very nice meeting.

- Have you seen him? -No no.

Since the premiere of Sabor I have not seen him again.

But that was ...

30 years?

00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:47,375
You know? I saw the movie again last week.

Did not you see her again?

No. Since the premiere, no.

And it's wrong to say it, but ... it moved me.

I've always loved it.

The Film Library has restored the negative and will make several screenings.

They want me to present it and I thought about doing it with Alberto.

I'm glad you do not hold a grudge anymore.

The bastard never made the character I had written.

Then I wanted to kill him.

But ... I really do not hold a grudge against him.

Now look at the film, its interpretation is better than 30 years ago.

It's your eyes that have changed, honey.

The movie is the same.

Do you know how to locate him?

Live in El Escorial.

Yes, in someone's house.

He works intermittently, but he's handsome.

Without giving up ... Well, you already understand me ...

I'm surprised you're the one who does not work.

I always thought you were one of those who do not retire.

I also.

- Do you still have the same phone? -Yes. Yes Yes.

I pass your contact and I also pass mine ...

In case you ever get bored and write something that only I can do.

Up to this point. I leave you with Father José María.

Good morning, guys.

The first thing we are going to do is choose who you will form the choir.

Has anyone sung in a choir before? Raise your hand.

Well, let's do a test.

You, come here, yourself.

-What is your name? -Rodolfo.

Let's see, Rodolfo, how are you vocalizing.

Repeat with me.

Cu, cu, cu, cu, cu ...

Cu, cu, cu, cu, cu ...

Let's see...

The, the, the, the, the, the ...

Tarararara ...

You, the one next door. What is your name?


Nice name. You like to sing?

Eh ... I do not know.

But you'll like the music, right?

Yes, I like the Beatles and the movies.

Well here we will expand and direct your tastes towards less pagan topics.

We're going to do a vocalization test.

La, la, la, la, la ...

La, la, la, la, la ...

Ri, i, i, i, i ...

Ri, i, i, i, i ...

La, la, la, la, la ...

The, the, the, the, the, the ...

La, larala, la, la, la ...

La, larala, la, la, la ...

We're going to warm those voices, guys.

That's how I became in the choir solo.

The priests decided not to attend

to Geography and History classes, or to Science and Art History.

During the first three years of the baccalaureate,

the time of those subjects I spent it rehearsing.

And he always approved.

They made me an absolute ignorant,

that I passed all the subjects without showing up for exams.

Over time, I became a film director

and I started to learn Spanish geography

traveling to promote the films I directed.

I was traveling because I was successful.

My knowledge of geography coincided with my expansion as a filmmaker.

I started to know my body through pain and illnesses.

I lived the first thirty years with relative unconsciousness,

but soon I discovered that my head, and what was inside it,

in addition to being a source of pleasure and knowledge,

entailed endless possibilities of pain.

I soon learned about insomnia, chronic pharyngitis, otitis,

reflux, ulcer and intrinsic asthma.

The nerves, in general, and the sciatic, in particular.

And all kinds of muscle pain:

lumbar, dorsal, tendonitis, both knees and shoulders.

This is a tinnitus.

I also have.

These are wheezing or whistles.

I also suffer them.

In addition to the tinnitus and the wheezing, my specialty is headaches.

Migraines, tension headaches or cluster headaches and back pain.

From the operation of lumbar arthrodesis,

that immobilized me more than half of my back,

I discovered that my life would revolve around the spine.

I became aware of each of the vertebrae

and the amount of muscles and ligaments

that make up the mythology of our organism,

and that, as with the Greek gods,

our only form of relationship is through sacrifice.

But not everything is so physical and illustrable.

I also suffer from abstract penalties.

Dolores del alma, like panic and anxiety,

that add anguish and terror to my life.

And, of course, alternated for years with depression.

The nights that coincide several pains, those nights I believe in God

and I pray to him.

The days when I only suffer a type of pain ...

I'm an atheist.

It's here. It's here.

Very well.

-Keep the change. -Thank you.

-Goodbye. Thank you. -Good bye, good.

Who is it?

Alberto, I'm Salvador.

What Savior?

Salvador Mallo

What are you doing here?

-I have to talk to you. -Of what?

Of Taste.

Would you invite me in?

Do you want to drink something?

The same as you. I was making tea.

Well, that.

Go, look.

I love that you have here Taste.

Why did you come?

Thirty-two years has cost me to reconcile myself with this movie.

Thirty two years...

How nice! What are those trees? Firs?

Pine trees.

Are you going to explain to me in a fucking time why you came to see me

after thirty-two years?

The Film Library has restored Taste.

They have decided that it is a classic.

And they have programmed it for a film series shot in Madrid.

They called me to ask me to introduce her together.

And do not they know we did not talk to each other since the filming?

Well ... If they know, they have not told me anything.

Alberto, gossip ages, like people.

-Hey, do you mind if we sit down? -No, no ... Sit down.

Thank you.

But why does he give you now why we present it together?

-Because you did not show it at the premiere. -Because you forbade me, fagot!

That's why I think it's fair that we present the two in the Film Library.

And who gave you my address?

-Zulema -Oh ... Je.

I met her by chance and we talked about you.

Hey, I'm going to smoke a Chinese. If the show disgusts you, you can leave.

And we already call for the Filmoteca.

You invite me?

I do not recognize you, Salvador.

-What is it, the first time? -Yes.

And why would you want to try the heroine at this point?

Out of curiosity

Surely you are documenting yourself for something.

The drop, the drop, the drop, the drop ...


Save! Save!

Come and give me a hand!

-Mom, I've found a novel. -Very well, leave it there.


What the fuck was I going to know that it was a party here?

-If it's not a party in our town! -Me neither.

Well, night is waiting for us, son.

What a shame.

Open the chocolate, Salvador.

I'm going, mom.

Mom, there are two trading cards.

Oh, leave the stickers now, son. Let's eat.

Liz Taylor and Robert Taylor.

Do you think they are brothers?

Well, I suppose.


Oh, what a pity, son.

Here thrown like gypsies.

I like the season.

You are very novelist.

I do not know who you have left.

Snatch, do not go bad over it.

Oh, my God, what a tomato!

I had not seen you.

Bring it here, I'll sew it.

Look, with the egg.

-Um. - Get over there. Come to sleep.

Do you know that your father, in the military,

learned to sew, and to mend and iron shirts?

I did it very well.

Do you think I'm going to the military?

Well, I guess you'll have to go, son.

Well, I do not want to go to the military.

Nor I that you go. It is useless.

-Mom ... -What?

Do you think Liz Taylor will sew Robert Taylor's socks?

Well, I do not know...

Man, I do not see much in the photos that he likes to darn.

You're good?

Do not forget to breathe, huh?

Do not.

By God, what a long night!

I thought we never arrived.

I told you to wait a few days until it was installed.

-Your mother was already sick of us. -Do not say that.

Oh no?

- Do you know what he said three days ago? -What?

"You have to see this month how the bread bill has gone up!"

- Do you believe? - Do not take it into account.

You know how it is.

I'm not going to be a burden to anyone.

That same day I packed my bags, and here we are.

Save! Save, come here.

Or do you prefer to be alone?

-Ay, Jacinta, do not tell me those things. -Already...

What I'm saying is that you could have waited a few days.

-Hey, is much missing? -Do not.

The sharpener!

We have already arrived.

Is our house here?

We are over.

How on top?


-A cave! -It's the best I've found.

-But, by God, Venancio, a cave! -Salva, strip! Let's go.

But how are we going to live in a cave!

There are more than 300 families living in caves.

It is typical of this town. It is not a shame.

Is this our house, dad?

This is, son, this is it.


A cave!

Oh my God...

It was your idea to leave the town and come here.

What would they say in the village if they saw us ...

I have not had time to whitewash it,

That's why I wanted you to wait a bit.

It's all sleeve by shoulder. You still have to fix it.

Mom, look, the sky!


-I've cleaned it as best I could. -And are you glad we came?

Jacinta, I wanted something else for you.

Do you think I'm happy to bring you here, to a cave?

-But there was nothing else. -That nothing happens ...

I fix it so it looks like a house, come.

But is that your mother ... Really. Tell me about the bread in front of the child ...

Look, if he loved it ...

Come on, I do not want to see you so serious, you get really ugly.

Dad, can I get to sweep?

I need a taxi to pick me up.

In a moment.

-Which is the address? - Calle Pontón, 89

Eh ... Calle Pontoon, 89, in San Lorenzo de El Escorial.

The destination is Paseo del Pintor Rosales, 108.


Yes, in Madrid, of course, of course.

All right ... Fifteen minutes ... Okay, thanks.

It has been clear to you about the Film Library, right?

-Yes. -18, in three weeks.

I'm already thinking about the model.

But first we'll call, right?


What will you give me?

We're going to give us two kisses like old friends.

If we have even smoked

-the Chinese of peace. -Voucher.

Come on come on.



It's me.

Salvador, is it true of the Filmoteca?

Yes Yes Yes.

Keep me informed, man. Do not spend so much time with me.

No ... I was thinking of telling you.

No, if I love projecting Taste and getting out,

but are you sure you want to

a conversation with people?

It's going to fill up ... -No, it's not that I want a colloquium.

But I'm curious to see if the film has survived these 30 years.

Do not doubt it.

But if you decide not to go, tell me and fix it, huh?

Better cancel it now than at the last moment.

Very well. Goodbye.

-I'm leaving now. He needs something? - No, thanks, Maya.

-See you tomorrow. -See you tomorrow.

He was the loneliest man that death has ever seen.

I entered the room where Johannes was.

He had turned around, becoming a ball, so there was no room for me.

When trying to make me a hole, woke up and made love.

But loneliness was with me and I could not get it out of my heart.

We were all close that two people can be,

but everyone in his world.


Did not you think to open up?

I did not expect anyone and my head hurts.

-If you want, I'm leaving. -No, no, enter. Since you are here ...

And you live like that, in the dark?

-When my head hurts, yes. -Poor!

But you have a piece of house, uncle.

You want a drink?

Any liquor


What...? What I do? What...? What...?

Breathe through the nose. Breathe through the nose.

By the nose.

-Wait, wait ... Water.

Relax, wait ...

Wait. Breathe


Care, baby. Slowly, slowly, slowly. Slowly.

Fuck, I choke on nothing!

What a scare, fuck! I thought you drowned.

I'm fine.

It happens to me from time to time, and it's horrible.

My idea of ​​cinema was always linked

to the breeze of summer nights.

We only watched movies in the summer.

The films were projected on a huge wall,


I especially remember the movies where there was water:

waterfalls, beaches,

the bottom of the sea, rivers or springs.

Just listening to the sound of the water,

the children had a tremendous desire to urinate.

And we did it right there, on both sides of the screen.

In the movies of my childhood always smells like pee.

And to jasmine.

And a summer breeze.

What are you doing there?

Reading you.

I just read Addiction.

Well you should not.

Something he had to do.

You were groggy.

May l?

Yes Yes.

Oh that's good!

Hey, the story has blown me, man.

It is not a story.

Well, whatever it is.

He could take the stage as is.

Thanks, but it's not a dramatic text.

Does not matter.

I could interpret it.

-I know very well what he talks about. -Your?

You are on the opposite side of that text.

You forget that I am an actor ...

and that I suffer very well.

Salvador, I need to act again.

I've been down from the pedestal for a while, eh?

Look, I'm in contact with the Mirador room.

I know it's a very small room, very off.

To mount "The beautiful indifferent", Cocteau.

With men. To give you a point.

But, if I tell you the truth, I much prefer your text.

-Give me a copy for those of the Mirador. -Alberto, stop!

But why did you write it?

I wrote it to forget its content, but I do not want to talk about it.

Hey, do you mind giving me what's left on the newsprint?

-Taking. -I'm not a camel, man.

Taking. I give it to you.

But administer it with discretion,

that these late discoveries are the worst, and I see you very killer.

Hey, think about what I told you about the Mirador room.

Yes Yes Yes.

-The headache ... has it been removed? -Totally.

-You see? -That's.

["How could you do that to me?", Alaska and Dinarama]

-Will he be on the way? -I dont know.

You have personally taken this management.

I do not get it. I showed him the restored movie and he loved it.

-Bathroom? - There to the left.

Thank you.

Why do not you call him?

-Hey, sorry, is there going to be a conversation? -Yes Yes Yes. The director is on his way.


The Film Library.

Yes, bring, bring, bring.

I do not give credit, man!

You ride all this numeral and then do not go!

With what it has cost me to leave this sucks!

See you


-But how am I going to go alone! -I do not want you to see me like this!

That they see you how?

We're not going to a beauty contest, but a fucking colloquy!

I do not want them to see me drugged and hesitant.

When you step on the stage, you come up.

-With what you've been ... -O, that was before ...

And without having taken heroin.

Salvador, where are you?

At home.

Still? The movie is over, the audience is waiting for you.

Oh, yes?

I'm with Salvador Mallo.

Eh ... We thought to go both.

Alberto Crespo is with me.

And the protagonist, Alberto Crespo.

Would you mind repeating the applause before so they can hear it?

Let's see if they revive that way, huh?

Is everyone listening to me?

Yes, Salvador.

Eh ... Well ...

I wanted to apologize to the spectators.

At the last moment ... I was not feeling well.


I'm with Alberto Crespo. He has stayed

-to accompany me. -Salvador, sorry,

They are raising their hands, I think they want to ask you something.

It is a question for the director.

Mr. Mallo,

what do you think of the interpretation of Alberto Crespo in the film?

There are people who say they were not happy and that they distanced themselves because of that.

Salvador, have you heard the question?

Yes, yes, yes, I've heard it.

I have read that, after Sabor, they discussed,

that they had not seen each other again.

Look ... Time is mysterious.

I went back to see the movie a month ago,

and it seems to me that Alberto's interpretation has gained a lot

since we premiered it.

What was it that you did not like then?

His heaviness.

Its lethal rhythm.

I conceived a dynamic character, a funny and scathing cocaine addict.

Alberto did not have the lightness that I asked for.

Not because he was incapable, but because he took the drug opposite to the character.

I took a horse

The rhythm of its interpretation

was more serious, the humor of the text disappeared.

But I have to be fair.

Now I think that gravity is doing well

to the character, it gives ...


How dare you?

I did not think to say it, but it is said.

Be careful with me, huh?

I will not allow you to humiliate me again!

- Who the fuck do you think you are? -I've only told the truth.

Before shooting, you promised me that you would not take a horse on the set.

I gave you the paper with that condition and you lied to me.

You did what came out of your tail.

And someday I had to tell you.

You're like a fucking goat!

I give him all the messages.


Lately he runs away from me.

- Are you sure it's okay? -Eat little. And he chokes a lot.

You prepare all the food in puree.

Goes for a walk?

I do not see it.

But walk around here in the house, down the hall.

Already. I've seen

Some loafers at the entrance and never liked the loafers.

Well, he puts them on.

Although it has a thousand very nice sneakers.

Maya, tell her you do not mind buttoning shoes and sneakers.

It must cost a lot to fasten the laces. Poor.

Yes, I'm telling you, Mrs. Mercedes, but he does not want to.

I think he's embarrassed, and I'm very sorry.

I do not know what to do.

Well put a good face and take care of everything.

And if you see something strange, you call me.

Mrs. Mercedes, everything is weird here


I can help you with something?

I dont know.

What are you looking for?

Two microns

Ten euros.

-Ten euros. -Yes.

But do not bring me shit.

If it's good, I'll be back.

Give me the pasta.

No no no. When you bring the material.

Cash and now.

Wait for me here.

Let's go!

Let's go! Let's go!

Do not you have poop?

Let's go!

Fagot! Let's go! Come on, I'm going to kill you!

-Ah! - Easy, uncle.


Come here! Come here! God!

Maricón, come here, come!

Yes Yes.

Look at the boy! So small and watch how he reads.


- Do you also know how to write? -Yes.

And how much would you charge us for writing a letter to an aunt of mine in Bilbao?

I do not know.

What happens?

We wanted your son to write us a letter.

Because my boyfriend is illiterate.

When will I learn? If I spend all day working.

If you did not waste time drawing ...

- You are a bricklayer? -And painter.

Sure ... What a pity. So handsome, that you are illiterate.

Well my Savior can teach you how to read and write, right?

At night, when you finish working.

At the time that suits you.

And could you teach me the four rules too?

-Yes. -Of course.

The four rules, so that nobody cheats you.

If in this world we live in, being illiterate is a backwardness.

I'm going for the paper and the pencil to write the letter, huh?

- How much would you charge us? - Nothing, woman! Nothing!

Look, as you are a bricklayer,

Could you help me finish the kitchen and paint the walls a bit, huh?

When it suits you.

-As it is not on Sundays ... -Sunday, very good!

In return, my Savior teaches you to read, to write, the four rules.

-And today's letter, free. -Thank you.

"A, B, C, CH, D ..."

Eduardo, when are you going to put the battery?

I have to wash everything in these buckets ...

Before, I wanted to finish jarring the walls.

No, the battery, the battery is more urgent.

I've gotten used to the chipping.

It's that Salvador gives me a lot of homework and I do not have time.


If you want to learn to read and write, you must learn the alphabet by heart.

Come on, Eduardo, start again.

"A, B, C,

CH, F,

-J ... "No, Eduardo.

It is: "F, G, H, I, J, K".

You said it well before.

It is that they are many letters.

Do not complain anymore. They are what they are.

No, Eduardo, it's not like that. Give me the pencil.

Look, it's like that.

Voucher? Now you do.

A) Yes?


A) Yes.

No, Eduardo, you do not have to press so hard.

Leave your hand loose, I'll take it.


I'm a little bit nervous.

Nothing happens. So it is much better.

- Do you like to draw? -Much.

Then, you will learn very fast to write

because writing is like drawing but with letters.

Now do it alone, come.

"U, U".


Read the phrase.

A ... holy ...

Catholic ...

apos ...


An apostolic Catholic saint.

And who is she?

Spain! Who will it be?


Write it all followed.

Very good, Eduardo, now you do it much more often than before.

There are a lot of invitations. It would not be bad if you went somewhere.

-Cecil Beaton ... -I accompany you wherever you want.

-I would like to me ... -The dance season has started.

Dimitris Papaioannou and Jan Fabre come to the Canal Theaters.

The seats of the public theaters are the most uncomfortable for me

and I do not want to get out in the middle.

Have you been to see Dr. Galindo?

No. I'm sick of doctors.

How do you get Oxycodone?

I got a friend, his mother is a pharmacist.

This book has arrived for you.

"How to end the counterculture".

And what do I know ...

Ah, the Guggenheim ask us two of the Pérez Villalta.

-They'll dedicate an anthology. -No, no, say no.

Those paintings are my only company.

I live with those paintings, Mercedes.



Tell me.


Yes, yes, yes, I hear you.

Hey, I have to leave you. No ... I can not keep talking.

Hey, it's not your business where I am.

Something happens?

Do not.

I'm separating from Luis.

I did not know you had problems.

I did not want to bother you.

The thing comes from far and ...

And now that I have to spend so much time at home,

I could not keep cheating on me.


So, if you do not mind, I'd like to continue to take care of your mail.

People like to be answered.

But it is always not.

Well, something you should do.

You have too much free time to think about your ailments.

Give your brain something to entertain.

I would also like to do more things, Mercedes, but ...

You could write.

You have a lot of documents full of ideas to develop.

I make you a list.

I do not want to write if later I can not shoot it.

And you better than anyone you know

that I can not face a shoot in these conditions.

Without rolling, my life has no meaning.

But, things are like this.

Call me, huh? Call me for what you need.

Yes Yes.


Jacinta, you have left the beautiful cave.

Oh, and that light, my God, what a wonder.

Sometimes it rains.

Well, daughter, but do not be so selfish, Jacinta.

The rain is necessary. Think of the countryside, of the farmers ...

-Well, it's true, too. -Clear.

Well, Salvador. Let's see...

Since your mother told me that, at nine years old, you were a teacher,

I thought: "This child must be for God."

He has always gone ahead of those of his age.

- Do you like to teach, Salvador? -Yes.

-And would you like to study? -If much.


To know more and to be able to teach more things.

Very well.

Very well. I call that my vocation,

I will talk to Father José María, and he will take care of everything.

Thank you.

Salvador, the next course you will enter a seminar

to study the baccalaureate.

Let's see how you behave. Not everyone is given a scholarship to study.

So what about the scholarship is already safe?

Yes woman. Keep calm.

And you, to see how you leave me. Think you are one of the chosen ones.

Well, I'm leaving, I still have a visit to make.

- Do not you want a little more juice? -No thank you very much. It tasted great.

Goodbye, Salvador.

How beautiful you have been the whitewashed walls, Jacinta. It is precious.

They are better, yes.

If I tell you the truth, I'm very envious.

To me?

You live in catacombs, just like the ancient Christians.

Yes, that's how we live.

Will I sew on Sunday?

Yes, I'm waiting for you at home on Sunday, daughter.

-Thank you. -You are welcome.


-That my love? -A seminar is a place to be a priest?

Yes. Do I make you a potato omelette that you like?


I do not want to be a priest!

You do not need to be.

Then why do you want me to go?

Well, because for the poor there is no other way to study!


What do you want me to do?




Be careful what child!


Get down from there!


I do not want to go to the seminary!

When you finish the baccalaureate, you leave.

We will already think of a way to make a career.

Do not look like your father ...

I do not want to go to school! I want to stay here!

And what are you going to do here, son?

Hey? What are you going to do here? Kill you to work in the field or in the work?

Is that what you want?

I do not want to be a priest.

Life disgusts me like a useless medicine.

And it is then when I feel with clear visions

how easy it would be to get away from this tedium

if I had the simple strength of wanting to really push him away.

Who is it?

It's me.

Go away!

-If you do not leave, I'll call the police. -Alberto, I come to negotiate.

I give you the rights to interpret Addiction.

I do not believe you.

-Go away. I'm busy. -Really.

Here I bring a copy of the text. Please, open me.

As a trap, you're going to get out of here more deformed than you already are.

What happens? Are you on a hunger strike?

Do you still have the idea of ​​making Cocteau in the Mirador room?

Yes, but I have many doubts.

The text is very beautiful, but it has remained old.

If you really give me Addiction, I'll get to full with it.

I would have to inform the Mirador, of course.

Here it is.

Why the change?

I have turned the text around, as you said, and ...

I keep telling you if you invite me to a tea.


Anything else?

Yes, I do not want to sign it myself. And do not say it's mine.

I do not want to appear anywhere.

Very well. Will you direct me?

-No no. -Man, that would help.

No no no. Give it to the theater,

that they read it and that they judge if they are interested, but do not give my name.

- Then who is the author? -Your.

Or we invent a pseudonym.

No no no! I sign it, I sign it.

But I do not understand you...

It is a confessional text.

-I do not want anyone to identify me. -Okay.

Eh ... About the staging,

I suggest an empty stage.

A screen. A chair, if you do not know what to do with your arms and hands.

I know perfectly what to do with arms and hands.

After correcting it,

I recognize that the text has been a bit melodramatic.

Do not worry, I also control the melodrama.

My Mexican years will serve me well.

That's why I tell you that. You have to run away from sentimentality.

Control the emotion.

Do not cry, the actors take advantage of any excuse to cry.

It is not better actor who cries,

but the one that struggles to contain the tears.

Let me give you a kiss, you fagot.

Hey, me, if you do not mind, I'm going to start working now.

You, if you want to stay, you are at home.

By the way, I have a lot of magazines from the 80s.

That in some you, dressed as a woman.

How soon you forget that time.

Well, before you invite me, go, and give me the address of your dealer.

Tell him I'll go pick up the material myself.

That is not necessary. If they bring it to you now, like Telepizza.



No. Not yet.


I'm lowering the dose, just enough to be able to work.

And can you do it?

How do you think I got here?

Going in and going out.

It is a bondage.

But this function is vital for me.

And I have to make it as clean as I can.

I do not want to lose an iota of the emotion that you have put in these pages.

You will come to see me?

I dont know.

No, I do not think so.

This time I do not do Shakespeare, nor Chekhov, nor Lorca.

I make you

If you do it wrong, I'll feel terrible.

And if you do it right, I'll feel much worse.

In the movies of my childhood always smells like pee.

And to Jasmin

And a summer breeze.

I met Marcelo in a toilet full of people.

It was not the first time I saw him.

But it was that night,

after rubbing us casually,

when I discovered that I liked that boy.

We spent the whole weekend in bed.

And when I wanted to realize,

A year had passed and we could no longer live without each other.

We were in 1981 ...

and Madrid was ours.

One day, I found Marcelo paler than usual.

Lately he had lost weight ...

and he was very haggard.

I asked him if he did not feel well,

and he confessed to me that he had started to fool around with the horse.

I was surprised because I had never taken it.

He drank and snorted cocaine, like everyone else.

But horse never.

I sensed that it was not good and I did not like it.

I was in the middle of a vortex. He wrote nocturnal chronicle,

participated in musical programs, sang in a group of parodic punk,

I was preparing my first movie.

I shot it, it was released, it was successful.

I wrote the second one, I shot it.

I did a thousand things, I did not sleep,

while Marcelo languished lying on the couch at home

or locked in the bathroom

or away from home, somewhere I did not know.

I spent the night going back and forth from the window to the bed,

pending to hear the noise of the door.

-Here he has his tickets. -Thank you.

Madrid had become a difficult square,

as the bullfighters say.

So we traveled continuously,

anything to leave Madrid.

The worst were the first days.

While Marcelo was recovering from the monkey, I took care of him and wrote.

I do not know how, but I wrote.

Marcelo was very young, the monkeys lasted little. Three, four days ...

Afterwards we threw ourselves into the street and enjoyed ourselves as children.

I remember the Ivory Coast.

Dozens of muscular youngsters

washing clothes in the river on car tires.

The Malecon of Havana, day or night.

Old Havana beating sweetly to the rhythm of percussion that does not stop.

Remember Mexico D. F.

Marcelo and I, drunks,

["La noche de mi amor" - Music by Chavela Vargas]

♪ I want ♪

♪ The joy of a ship returning ♪

♪ A thousand bells of glory ringing ♪

Those trips, whose only reason was to flee from Madrid,

run away from the horse,

They became my best school.

On those trips I found the inspiration

to write the stories that, years later, would tell

and the colors that would illuminate them.

But we could not spend our lives traveling.

Sooner or later, we had to return to Madrid.

And Madrid was a minefield, a dead end.

I was desperate, I did not know what to do.

Except repeat.

The two ... we repeated ourselves for three long years.

I believed that the strength of my love would overcome his addiction, but it was not like that.

Love is not enough.

Love may move mountains ...

But it is not enough to save the person you love.

Under the whitewashed wall

where the films of my childhood were projected,

I prayed that nothing will happen to the protagonists.

But I did not get it.

Not with Natalie Wood or with Marilyn.

Then I tried to save Marcelo and save myself.

If Marcelo was saved, he was far from me.

And as for me, I stayed in Madrid ...

and the cinema saved me.





Come in.

We know each other?


I do not remember you.

Some time ago, when you were preparing Sabor with Salvador Mallo.

-I'm sorry, I do not remember it. -We saw two or three times.

I'm Federico, the Marcelo of your monologue.

Did you like the function?

I dont know.

Taste is not the word. It has impressed me a lot.

You were the one who cried, right?

I suppose.

Sit down.

I imagine you will have some questions to ask me.

Does Salvador live?

How was the show today?

Very well. Full.

Too bad the room is small.

Better, that way you gain intimacy.

Today a very intimate spectator has come.


I'm telling you if you promise to come see me at the theater.

Who is that intimate viewer?


-What Federico? - Federico Delgado. Your Marcelo.

He came to see me in the dressing room.

Have you recognized the text?

Each word.

He has asked for your phone number and your address.

Have you not told him anything else?

Do not.

Of the Chinese who smoke you, I have not told you anything.

Thanks. One day I'll go see you.




Is it you? I would not have recognized you. I'm Federico.

Federico ...

I'm in Madrid.

And what are you doing here?

I have come to see some lawyers for an inheritance.

I'm leaving tomorrow night. I'd like to see you.

Me too, but I was already in bed.

Do you mind if we see each other tomorrow?

Are you doing well at noon? In the afternoon is the meeting with the lawyer.

Perfect, yes.

I have not asked you how you are.


Five years older than me, not one more.

And how are you?

Uf ... Now better. When I left the theater, I was dust.

I went to see Addiction.

And how did you know it was represented?

By chance.

I went to walk by Ambassadors to walk around our street.

I was in front of our house.

-Of course, the theater is a little higher. Yes.

I came in to make time and because I remembered Alberto Crespo for your movie.

And you suddenly found yourself with ...

Yes. Suddenly.

I do not know how to apologize.

I did not know how you felt, everything you had suffered.

It was a good school.


You do not have to ask for forgiveness.

I did not do anything I did not want to do, Federico.

Ah ...

I tried to help you as much as I could.

And I thank you and I would like to show you someday.

Hey, look, I do not think I can fall asleep after this.

Do you give me twenty minutes to shower and get dressed and see you at my house?

Come on. Yes.


-I'm Federico. You open me? -Go.

- How long, bastard! Come here. -Yes.


Would you have recognized me if you see me on the street?

I should have noticed, but yes.

The eyes are the same.

-Excuse me for lifting you up. -No ... Pass.

It looks like a museum.

Everything I have earned I have invested in this house and in these paintings.

-After that, I'll give you a tour. -Yes ...

-What do you want to drink? -Anything.


-Yes. Tequila. -To honor Chavela.

When you mention it in your monologue, I could not contain the tears.

Well, come on.

Tequila by Chavela and to celebrate our meeting.


I love your house.

Where do you live now?

In Buenos Aires.

In Buenos Aires you had an uncle ...

Yes. I went there in 85.

As soon?


Do I summarize now or after giving?



Uh ...

The summary.

After parting, I stayed with my parents for a year.

At that time the horse routes did not pass through Argentina,

so I went there with my uncle and started working with him in his restaurant.

I could not take a horse because there was not, so it was the best way to leave it.

I met Lucrecia, my wife, we got married.

Now I have two older children, my own restaurant

and in all these years I have only returned to Galicia to see my parents.

This is the first time I'm in Madrid.

As you say in your monologue, Madrid had become

In a difficult square for me, a minefield.

Too bad you lived here ...

I needed Madrid.

I also needed you, but not in those conditions.

"Love is not enough to save the person you love",

You already say it in your monologue.

Let's not talk about the monologue, it's a very sad text.

I have been calmer when you say that, while you took care of me,

you kept evolving as a writer and as a filmmaker.

Did you really feel that way?

You did not interrupt anything, Federico.


You filled my life like nothing or nobody ... it has done so far.

So you have not returned to Madrid since then ...

No. But I was following everything you did.

And ... And I was happy

when he recognized a scene clearly inspired by us.

Each movie of yours was an event in my life

and I was proud that you were successful all over the world.

You are the only Spanish director who knows my family.

Your new family ...


Do you know something else?

Do you mean us?

Lucrecia, my wife ... Bah, my ex-wife, we are separating.

Yes, I told him. He does not know what you are,

He knows that I was with an uncle in Madrid for three years.

And I've also told one of my children, to cheer him up.

With time I will tell you that it is you.

He is very cinephile and I would not forgive him for not telling him.

Do you have a partner now?


And you?

Do not.

Man or woman?


My experience with men ended with you.

I do not know how to take it.

Take it as a compliment.

He is Mauro, he is the smallest.

And this is Federico. He already has 22.

It looks a lot like you.

Yes. This is the one I've already told you about.

Very handsome the two.

You have to come to Buenos Aires.

The city will love you and it sure inspires you too.

I want you to meet my family,

that you come to eat at the restaurant, that we get drunk together.

All right...

For the old times.

Do you want me to sleep with you?

Of course I want to, but let's close our story as God intended.

We never cared about God

and we can close our story just as well tomorrow morning.

In any case, I'm glad to see ...

that you still get excited with me

The same thing. You have also been excited.

Yes, go. Go away.

-Go away. -If I go.

You're right, as always.

Well, remember that you have promised to come and visit me in Buenos Aires.

Good trip.

Thank you very much for coming. Really.

I'll call you to remind you.

Yes ... Salvador?

Mercedes, can I catch you?

Yes, yes, tell me.

Look, I'd like to go see Dr. Galindo as soon as possible.

-What have you taken? - Nothing.

A simple anxiolytic, two hours ago, and some shots of tequila.

And I'm going to take my legal ration of pills

crushed with liquid yogurt.

Do you want me to make an appointment with the gastroenterologist?

Yes, as soon as possible.

Very good.

-Go, goodbye. -Goodbye. Kisses.

Salvador Mallo?


Come in here please.

-Thank you. -You are welcome.

-Good morning Doctor. -Good, go ahead.

Thank you very much for making us a space, doctor.

You're welcome. Tell me, Salvador.

The back pains are crushing me.

Oxycodone almost does not do anything to me.

Well, it will be necessary to change your analgesic.

How have you not come before?

I was very depressed.

Yes. He has been very depressed.

And what have you done to control the pain?

I have started taking heroin.

- And you think to continue taking? -Do not. That's why I'm here.

How often were you drinking?

Every two or three days.

In the end, one day and another no. Smoked in Chinese.

- And when have you taken for the last time? -Before last night.

Will I have withdrawal symptoms?

A little, but with a compassionate and controlled detoxification you will not suffer.

"Compassionate and controlled"?

Yes, that's what it's called.

- Do you have someone to assist you? -Yes Yes. I'm going to be with him.

And how have you controlled this day and a half that you have not taken?

With anxiolytics and a strong will.

That will you will continue to need.

Your mind already knows the effect of heroin and it is something that is not forgotten.

Are you still with the Paxtibi for the head?

Yes, and with everything else.

For asthma, tension, insomnia ... Yes.

But above all I need you to help me with back pain

and to put a little order in everything I take.

Also with migraines.

The back and head pains ... totally paralyze me.

I get it.

Do you have a project, Salvador?

Yes, improve my quality of life.

I mean work.

It would be good to be busy.

Do not you miss it?

There is not a single day that does not think about it.

But the question is not whether I miss it or not.

The cinema is a very physical work

and, unfortunately, I am not in conditions.

Actually, that is my big problem.

There are people who are worse than you and get ahead.

No, I know, I know.

But I have not been able.

My mother died four years ago.

Two years later I had surgery on my back.

I think I still have not recovered, neither of one thing nor the other.

I need help, doctor.

All right. I'm going to change Oxycodone for another opiate.

The idea of ​​the heroine will go through your head.

You must be attentive.

I'm going to extend the recipes and now I explain the guidelines.

Do you mind if I go out into the hall and move a little?

-No, no, come out. -Salt.

Doctor, thank you very much.

You're welcome.

-Well, let's see ... -There's something else, doctor.

Anything else?

Salvador chokes frequently.

An hour ago, when we came to the hospital,

for just drinking a little water he thought he was drowning.

The gastroenterologist has done an endoscopy and ...

And they have discovered a lump that presses the esophagus.

That's why he chokes so easily and not ... We do not know what that lump is.

Does he know the result of endoscopy?

Do not.

They have sent him a TAC to be more secure.

But the gastroenterologist does not ... It does not rule out that it's a tumor.

What I do?

I'm telling you?

No, no, avoid at least two days of anguish

and, please, call me with the results of the TAC.


Mercedes, can you get the box for me, please?


Thank you.

Salvador, I'm very excited that you installed me

in your mother's room.

Here is your snack.

Those blackened muffins do not even think about it.

They are integral.

One day you will bring me a plate of alfalfa to eat it

because now they say it's good for the heart.

Are not you going to drink the milk? You have to do to take it.


Sit down.

Oh ... What are you doing?

Trying to untangle these rosaries.

Come, I help you.

No, you do not know.

Do you remember how you have to shroud me?

Yes, mom, yes.

If we're in town, you call Petra, she's used to it.

And if I die here, I hope not, because I want to die in my bed,

Maya and Mercedes will give you a hand.

- Do we have to talk about this now? -Yes.

In the head...

half mantilla ... because I am a widow.

Let me help you. Come, I help you.

We'll see.

A) Yes. And the habit of Jesus de Medinaceli, with his cord ...

That is, with his cord.

Between your hands, you put a rosary on me.

You put this on me, the old man.

The new one I want you to keep it.

- Do not you prefer that I put the new one? -Do not.

I want to go barefoot.

If they tie my feet to bury me,

you untie me and say that I asked for it.

Where I am going ... I want to enter very lightly.

Do you remember this pen?

-Clear. - Your father gave it to me.

With her I wrote all the letters when we were dating.

And the wooden egg, mom?

How much have I darned with this egg!

Of all these things, it is what has least value.

Then give it to me.

Here, you just inherited it.

Lately I think a lot about her.

It's the first time I hear you say

that you still have not overcome the death of your mother.

I also think a lot about my childhood.

When I'm in a sleep, which is most of the time,

I always think of my mother when I was a child.

But you have never talked about her or your childhood in your movies.

My mother did not like it.

Do you believe?

He told me one of the last times he was in the hospital.

How clean are your legs, mom.

In that I have left my family.

In my family there are no varicose veins.

What a pity, my son.


You are not going to have a good old age.


You have gone to your father's family.

Of course, mom, what do you have? Come on, tell me how you spent the night.


I've been with my neighbor Lola all night.

Here, in the room?

No, man, no, in dreams.

I dreamed all night with her.

I had just arrived in town ...

and I hear that the Lola knocks on the door,

as always when he heard me arrive from Madrid.

Although it was a dream, I remembered that Lola was dead.

But I opened the door ... and there I found it,

Same as always,

only that it was a little behind the scenes.

But I did not get scared, huh ?, and I said:

"Lola, I guess you're not well

and you want me to do something,

but you have to tell me what and I promise you I will. "

"No, Jacinta, I'm fine," she replies.

"But how are you going to be fine," I told him.

"If you were fine, you would not show up."

"I appear to you ... because my daughters are very scared".

"But how do you come to the village with the cold it makes?"

"I no longer have neither cold nor heat",

answered me,

"and nowhere is it like at home".

"You're right in that, my daughter," I said.

And what else?

Do not put on that narrator's face, eh?

No, no, I do not want you to put any of this in your movies.

I do not like my neighbors to leave, I do not like self-fiction.

And what do you know about self-fiction!

I heard you explain it in an interview.

My neighbors do not like you to take them out.

They think you treat them like a few cathetas.

Oh, mom, say some things ...

If I can not treat them with more respect or more devotion ...

Every time I have occasion,

I speak of you and I say that I have formed with you and with the neighbors.

Everything ... I owe it to you.

They do not like it.

We are going for a walk, which today has not moved yet.

I did not move because I did not have anywhere to go.

-Now he has nowhere to go. Let's go. -Where?

The hall.


You have not been a good son, my son.

Do not?

Do not.

You did not forgive me for recommending you to Paterna's blessed.

And I think you took revenge for that.

I did not want you to go to the seminary either, but we were poor.

It's true that I did not want to go,

but that's what I wanted to take revenge on you ... How can you think that!

After the baccalaureate, you lacked time to go to Madrid.

And when your father died,

I told you if you wanted me to go live with you.

You squeezed the bundle,

You said you were leading a life that ... it was not to be able to share with me.

And it was true, but not as you understood it.

I understood it perfectly.

I'm very sick of the oars, but I have a great head.

When I was not traveling, I was rolling.

You would not have endured the solitude of an apartment in Madrid,

that was not life for you.

I would take care of you.

I would have adapted as I have adapted to so many things.

But you did not want ... and that hurt.


I'm sorry I was never the son you wanted.

When you said: "Who will this child have left?",

you did not say it precisely with pride.

And I realized.

I have failed you simply for being as I am.

So sorry.

Pass me the San Antonio.


Tonight I will pray for you.

Thank you.

-Salvador ... -Yes ...

I have brought you to this world ...

and I've worked hard to get you ahead.

I know, mom.

Take me to town.

This is my only and last wish.

Very well.

We'll go to town, you and me,

and Maya, to make the haciendas of the house.

I will take care of you day and night.

This time I will not fail you, mom.

But I could not keep my promise.

The next day I had to put her back into the hospital.

You did everything you could.


But she wanted to die in the village ...

and I had promised to take her.

The poor one died ...

in the ICU of a hospital, alone.

They invite you to give a lecture in Iceland. Well paid.

I do not understand how I can like it so much in Iceland.

Me neither.

And this is from a small gallery, but I have not thrown it away.

The drawing looks nice to me.

Salvador Mallo?

-Yes. -You can pass.

Sit down here slowly.

At the same time I raise your legs, you turn the body and go lying down.

Thank you.

Hey, your mother when it comes?

At lunchtime.

When he goes to sew the house of the blessed, he stays there all morning.

Let's see.

Let's see, Salvador, do not move. Stay here.

Can you take the book with both hands?

A) Yes.

Let's see, raise your head.

How about?

Is very pretty.

I still have to finish it. I take it home and I finish it.


Hey, do you mind if I wash a little? It looks like I've put on.

Yes, I'm going for the soap bar.

-Taking. -Thank you.

Savior! Will you bring me a towel?

I'm going, Eduardo.

You are burning.

You have had to take a sunstroke.

Savior! What happened?

That the sun has given him a lot.

I was reading.

Did not you realize that I was giving you the sun,

What are you burning?

-I did not realize. - What about you?

I have finished placing the tiles

and, as he fainted, I brought him here.

What have you fainted?

A little. I got the head.

Oh Lord...

Stay here, I'm going for a cloth with vinegar.

What about your father, at the bar?


Well, he told me he would stay at home!

And what is this bucket doing here?

I washed a little.

You could wait to get to your house, right?

It's hard for me to carry the water here, hey.

It was very dirty. I bring a bucket and dry the ground.

No, bring me the water. I dry it.

The tiles have been beautiful!

Yes, very pretty. Thank you.

I'm going for the water.

First of all, I want to reassure you. There is no tumor.

That is totally ruled out.

Well, but something happens to me, because I choke on the purees.

Yes, what happens to you, that dysphagia, is due to Forestier's syndrome.

Here you will see it clearer.

Do you see this white part, next to the vertebra?

It's an osteophyte, an ossification.

Here you can see the esophagus, displaced by that ossification.

There is practically no room for food, even liquids.

That's why you get choked.

Why has that bone grown so much there?

Forestier syndrome is a rare disease

and the causes that cause it are not known.

We know that it affects tendons, ligaments and joint capsules,

that calcify without us knowing why.

In your case, the anterior ligament of the cervical spine has calcified.

-And can something be done? -A surgery.

You have to remove that calcification as soon as possible.

But do not worry, it's not a risky operation.

You will be better informed by the gastroenterologist and the surgeon who operates you.

-Very well. -Thank you.

-Good. -Hello.

Are you interested in watercolor?

Yes, I would like to buy it. Who is the author?

It is anonymous, almost all works are unsigned.

-How did you get here? -I bought it at Els Encants in Barcelona.

It is one of my favorite works.

So you have no idea who the author is?

There is something written on the back.

But they are all anonymous artists

They probably do not even know they're artists.

"Dear Salvador:

I send the drawing to your house because I do not have the address of the school.

I'm happy to be able to write to you.

You taught me and I'm very grateful to you.

I'm already working at Conchita's uncle's shop and I'm good at numbers.

All thanks to you.

You live well here, but I miss life in the caves.

And you in particular.

Every time I write, I think of your hand directing mine.

I'm sure you're learning a lot at school,

that you read a lot of books and watch many movies.

I give you my address in Bilbao.

Let's see if you write me and tell me.

Your student. Eduardo ".

Salvador, you should start dressing in half an hour.

Let me know a little before.

What do you think happened to the drawing?

Eduardo sent him to Paterna, my mother would receive it.

I was already in the priest's school and he did not send it to me or tell me about it.

Are you going to try to find it?


Now it's easier with Google or going back to Paterna and asking.

Fifty years later?

It's a good argument for a story, and maybe it's written,

but looking for it would be crazy.

How would the drawing come to the Rastro de Barcelona?

No idea. By chance.

The important thing is that the drawing has reached its recipient.

Salvador ... What's up?

We are going to change bed little by little.

Slowly All right, head here.


I have to undo it here a little bit, okay?

-Very well. -And I'm going to put some stickers.

How are you, Salvador?

Hello Doctor.

I already found out. No wonder you could not swallow.

But calm, we're going to take that away right away.


Tell me.

I have written again.

Oh yeah? What good news.


I'm very happy, Salvador.

And what is it, drama or comedy?

I do not know.

It is not known.



Do you think there will be a cinema in Paterna?

With my having a house I am satisfied, my son.

-Short. -We have cut.

38-5, first. Final clapper