Ouija Shark (2020) - full transcript

("EXOTIC BATTLE" BY
KEVIN MACLEOD)

(ENGINE HUMMING)

Come on, guys.

Where the hell are you?

Screw it.

Time waits for no man.

Neither do I.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(WATER LAPPING)

Hello?

Guys, is that you?



Oh, my god!

What the hell was that?

Okay, that's it.

(GASPS)

What the hell?

(CELLPHONE RINGING)

Yeah, what?

No, you...

Sorry, you just scared
me for a second.

No, nothing.

Don't worry about it.

Look, where are you guys?

I thought we were meeting
all at the parking lot

in the forest.



You're headed there already?

Fine.

How do I get to there
from the beach?

On foot, okay.

Follow the red arrows.

Yeah, okay, I got it.

All right, I'll meet you there,
okay?

All right, bye.

(SIGHS)

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

Here we are.

Leave it to Donna to get
the directions backwards.

It happens.

WOMAN: Where's the pool?

Out back.

I have to find the key first.

WOMAN: Where is it?

Uh, I can't remember.

It's doorframe or mat.

I'll check the doorframe.

Come on, guys.

Whose house is this?

A friend of mine's parents.

They hired a caretaker
to look after it

while they're away in Aruba,

but I guess they got held up
at the airport or something

and my parents told them
I'd watch the place.

I told them only if I
could bring my friends.

They just said no boys.

WOMAN: Sorry, Donna.

DONNA: Hey, more fun for us.

Aha, bingo! (LAUGHS)

Caretaker must've left already.

So, no creepy old man
to spoil our fun then.

WOMAN: Nope.

Awesome.

To the pool.

Patience is not her strong suit.

WOMAN: Yeah, we're
getting that.

Hey!

It's about time!

Those were the worst
directions ever.

Oh, whatever.

Guys, this is my friend Jill,
my old roomie from college.

JILL: Hi.

I'm Jen.

This is Donna and Tiffany.

Hi.

You can call me Tiff.

JILL: Hey.

Kim, thanks for inviting me.

Oh, my pleasure.

Let's go on in then, shall we?

Okay, this is nice.

JILL: You've never
been here before?

No, this is my first time.

JILL: Nice.

This is sweet.

Oh, I see the pool.

Let's go get the rest
of the stuff from the car.

Well, I mean, I've got
all my stuff here already.

If you guys wanna go
get everything set up,

I can make us some drinks.

Yay!
Uh, sure.

There should be a bar
around here somewhere.

Oh no, I feel like
something's got me!

It's dragging me
towards the pool!

The horror, the horror!

She said she wanted to get
wet as soon as she got here.

What?

Go.

We'll get the rest of the bags.

You just make sure she
doesn't drown.

We will?

KIM: Tiff.

(UPTEMPO ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, do you need some help?

Okay.

(METAL CLANGS)

Those two are crazy.

Yeah, that's one word for it.

Tell me about this Jill.

Well, as I said, she's
an old friend from school.

Why'd you invite her along?

Well, she went through
some rough times.

I thought this might
cheer her up.

What happened?

Nothing happened.

She's just an old friend.

You know I can hear you guys,
right?

Sorry.

I was just curious.

It's all right.

I wanted to know who Kim's
other friends were for a while.

I'm glad to finally
meet you guys.

Wine coolers?

Uh, later, thanks.

I'll have a wine cooler.
Yeah.

(LAUGHS)

(UPTEMPO ROCK MUSIC)

Yes!

Woo!

Wait, here.

(LAUGHING)

Don't even try.

DONNA: Okay, I'm going.

Okay, yeah.
Yeah.

It's a lot more difficult
than it looks.

There it is.

Totally relaxing.

I'm loving this.

No, no!

Don't get my hair wet,
don't get my hair wet.

Marco.

Polo.

Ah.

Donna, get over here.

(LAUGHING)

Marco!

Hey, where's Tiffany?

Good grief.

Let the kids be, Jen.

You coming in?

Maybe later.

Water's nice.

JILL: I'm sure.

Come on.

In a little bit.

Does anybody want
anything else to drink?

I do.

You've had enough.

You're not my real mom.

JEN: I will, if you're going.

All right.

Donna?

No thanks, I'm good.

Okay.

What's up?

Enough swimming for one day.

Anyone hungry?

Munchies again?

Why, whatever do you mean?

(LAUGHS) There's a
barbecue over there.

I'll get it lit.

I'm sure you will.

We've got the usual.

Hamburgers, hot dogs.

Sounds good, but if you
guys don't mind,

I think I'm gonna lay
down for a little while.

I'm a lot more tired than
I thought I was.

That's okay.

Yeah, we'll let you know
when the food's ready.

Thanks.

What was that?

I don't know.

I guess she's just tired
from all the walking.

I guess.

Come on, help me get
those burgers

and hot dogs out of the freezer.

Fine.

("YOU'RE NOT MY PROBLEM
ANYMORE" BY TERRY FERNIHOUGH)

♪ Love comes in different forms
and I chose the wrong kind ♪

♪ I treated you like gold
and you took the whole mine ♪

♪ You gave me nothing back and
called me a spoiled child ♪

♪ I cut you too much
slack and you ran wild ♪

♪ You're the one who
said goodbye ♪

♪ And you can't make me cry ♪

♪ Throw a tantrum,
stomp the floor ♪

♪ You're not my
problem anymore ♪

♪ Go ahead and wish me dead
from someone else's bed ♪

♪ You're the one who
locked my door ♪

♪ You're not my
problem anymore ♪

♪ I'd rather be alone than
with someone so toxic ♪

♪ You put on quite a show
and I gladly watched it ♪

♪ I wasted so much time
using the wrong brain ♪

♪ Put up with all your
crap, but never again ♪

♪ You're the one who
said goodbye ♪

♪ And you can't make me cry ♪

♪ Throw a tantrum,
stomp the floor ♪

♪ You're not my problem ♪

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Guys, burgers are ready!

Hello?

Hello?

Mm, that was incredible.

I could not eat another bite.

Are all the hot dogs gone?

Done and gone.

That was incredible, Donna.

You are a master at the grill.

Hail to the chef.

Hail, hail.

Cheers.

Thank you.

How are you feeling?

A lot better now.

I think I just needed
to get some food in me.

Well, that's good.

So, what do we do for
fun around here, Kim?

Any cards or board games?

There should be some.

Well, what's on deck
for this evening?

That's what we're
trying to decide.

I have an idea.

KIM: What's that?

JILL: It's in my bag.

I'll be right back.

Very mysterious.

TicTacToe.

Barrel of Monkeys.

Twister.

Now we're talking.

Is that a, a...

A hohal board?

(LAUGHING)

It's pronounced Ouija.

I know, I saw the movie.

Um...

Well, I wasn't expecting this.

Yeah, that's different.

KIM: Why?

What?

I found it on the beach.

Cool.

Come on.

We have to sit in a circle
for all of it to work.

Come on, guys.

We have to sit in a circle.

DONNA: I don't know.

You don't know what?

DONNA: Isn't it to
summon ghosts or something?

Yeah, isn't that cool?

Come on, it's just a game.

It'll be fun.

DONNA: I don't like
being scared.

Okay, what do we do,
hold hands or something?

KIM: Yeah, hold hands.

Uh, that's not my hand.

(LAUGHING)

Come on, guys.

We have to be serious
for this to work.

Okay.
Seriously?

Jen, please.

Okay, what do we do?

All right, this is
the planchette.

We place it on the board

and we each touch it with
our fingertips.

Then, we ask a question.

And if the spirits are in
a generous mood,

they'll spell out their
answer on the board.

At least according to the rule,
anyway.

That's it?

That's it.

Yeah, that's what I saw
in the movie.

Plus, bloody murder.

What?

All right, we'll keep
it simple at first.

Does anybody have a
question they're dying

to know the answer to?

I might have one.

Um...

Okay, what do I need to do?

Just ask.

Okay.

Oh, spirit of the Ouija board.

Please, please, please tell
me, who wrote the book of love?

Jen.

Okay, sorry.

Ooh.

It's moving.

JILL: Keep your fingers on it.

(TENSE MUSIC)

KIM: No?

I don't think it wants to
answer your stupid question.

Right, that was so cool.

(LAUGHING)

All right.

All right, let's try
another one.

Okay.

I have one.

Are you a good spirit?

Uhoh.

That's a no. (CHUCKLES)

DONNA: I don't like this.

Come on, anyone else?

JEN: Ooh, I have another one.

Nothing stupid.

Okay.

Oh, spirit of the Ouija
board, how did you die?

HUNGRY.

Hungry?

Weird.

I don't like this.

It's just a game.

Yeah, don't worry.

One of the girls is
spelling that stuff.

If you say so.

Yeah, uh...

Where are you

Do the thing.

Oh, spirit of the Ouija board,
whatever.

Where are you from?

HUNGRY.

KIM: Hungry?

Looks like this board has
a onetrack mind. (LAUGHS)

Whoa.

DIE.

Okay, I don't wanna do
this anymore.

Maybe we should stop.

JILL: Keep your fingers on it.

Okay.

Wait, something's happening.

JEN: Yeah.

JILL: Okay, everybody
keep your fingers on it.

Everybody, close your
eyes and concentrate.

(GROWL ECHOES)

That wasn't weird.

Maybe we should stop.

Come on, let's keep going.

Keep your fingers on it.

DONNA: I don't know, I
don't like this.

Who will be the first to die?

Jill.

DONNA: Stop it, Jill.

Come on, we have to
let it finish.

DONNA: Okay, fuck this.

Yeah.

Nothing's happening anyway.

The spirit must've left.

I think so.

Well then, what was that?

I don't know.

Maybe it was a ghost.

No way.

A nonbeliever, huh?

Look, it's a stupid game,
I'm bored.

What do you guys wanna do next?

I don't know, but I
don't like this.

DONNA: Yeah, I'm out of here.

(SIGHS)

(TENSE MUSIC)

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Hello?

Daddy, it's me.

Did I wake you?

No, sweetheart.

I'm working late tonight.

Is something wrong?

I don't know, maybe.

I just had a terrible dream.

Dreams can be a doorway
to the unconscious mind.

I've told you that before.

Tell me about it.

I guess I should back up a bit.

I...

I was at the beach and I found

this Ouija board in the water.

Haven't I told you not to
fool around with those things?

It's just a game, Dad.

At least I thought it was.

Go on.

Well, we were playing for a bit

and then the board started
shaking like crazy.

Really?

I've never heard of
such a thing.

Dad, you have to believe me.

Oh, I believe you.

I'm just not familiar with
that type of manifestation.

I'll need to do some research.

In my dream there was a shark.

I don't know if it's
connected or not.

I'll look into it.

If I come up with anything,
I'll let you know.

Okay.

And no more fooling
around with the occult.

I know.

Thanks, Dad.

Bye.

What about here?

Sure, this seems as good
a spot as any.

Okay.

I'll just get the stuff.

(LAUGHS)

Uh, are you sure you
want to eat now?

Wouldn't you rather eat
after we swim?

I skipped breakfast.

It's no big deal.

Besides, I'd like to
catch some rays.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, you should totally do that.

I mean, we can do
whatever you like.

What was that thing
that parents said

about swimming and eating?

Something like you
shouldn't swim

right after you eat,
or whatever.

Something about getting cramps.

Yeah, I think that was it.

I think that's been debunked.

But is it true?

I think you should look
up what debunked means.

Crackers.

What?

Uh, do you want some crackers?

Sure.

Uh, you got some...

Uh, it happened to me as well.

Pardon?

Uh, so, Cass, I wanted
to ask you something.

Normally, all of your
friends are around

and I never really get the
chance to ask you anything
alone.

Uh, so I thought I'd
ask you now.

Ask me something?

Like what?

Well, you know, we went
to prom together, right?

I know, I was there.

Well, I don't know how
you felt about things,

you know, since we've known
each other for such a long time.

What are you so nervous about?

Well, you know how it is.

Not at this particular moment.

No, I have no idea.

Well, I wanted to ask you...

What the hell is that?

You wanted to ask me
what the hell is that?

What the hell is what?

(TENSE MUSIC)

Oh, my god.

Is that a shark?

Or a ghost?

(SHARK GROWLS)

(SHARK GROWLING)

Oh, thank God.

It's going after him first.

(SHARK GROWLING)

(SHARK GROWLS)

(BOOM ECHOES)

Okay, sharkghost thingy.

You already ate.

Please, go away now.

(SHARK GROWLS)

(SHARK GROWLING)

(SCREAMS)

(EXCLAIMS)

Woo.

Hey.

Hey, that's right, I'm alone.

(LAUGHS)

Well, there's something
you don't see every day.

(SHARK GROWLS)

Maybe it wants a hit.

Here, sharky, sharky, sharky!

This is some good shit!

(SHARK GROWLING)

Whoa.

Personal space, dude.

Wanna hit?

(SNIFFING)

That is so cool. (LAUGHS)

Are you like some sort of
air balloon or something?

I suspect you're a figment.

Do you think you are a figment?

(BOOM ECHOES)

(TENSE MUSIC)

Oh, my head.

Donna still sleeping?

She went out for a run.

Really?

A run.

Oh, run.

Please, tell me
there's more coffee.

The kitchen.

Hey, have you guys seen
my Ouija board?

I don't know.

It should be over there.

Well, it's not there.

Well, that's where
we left it last night.

Somebody move it?

No.
No.

Well, I want it back.

Well, maybe Donna moved it
when she went for her run.

Well, it's not there now.

I don't know where it is.

Did one of you guys take it?

We didn't touch the
stupid thing.

It's not stupid.

Okay, it's probably
around here somewhere, okay?

We'll ask Donna when
she gets back.

For now, we'll
probably feel better

once we have some breakfast.

She's right.

Sorry, Jill.

It's fine.
I didn't mean it.

Uh, there's pancake mix
in the pantry

and there should be some bacon
and sausages in the freezer.

The freezer's empty.

And that pancake mix is
like a million years old.

I already checked.

So, no brekkie?

Well, there's coffee, and milk,

and what we ate last night.

No brekkie.

Well, that won't stand.

There was a store
some miles back.

I'll go get some groceries
and bring back some breakfast.

Any food allergies I
should be aware of?

I'll go.

It's my fault.

I should've made sure
we were wellstocked.

I can go, it's fine.

We'll make sure the
table's at least clear

when you get back.

Damn right you will.

I'll be back soon.

Bye.

(TENSE MUSIC)

Here's something.

As a spirit animal, a shark
may take on many meanings,

representing the most primal
and ancient instincts.

One choosing such an
animal as their totem

must also be prepared for
the spirit's unpredictability

and its desire to hunt.

Why would anyone want to
summon a shark?

Sharks are masters of survival
and their power is unmatched.

Manifesting such a spirit
is illadvised.

Three card spread.

Past, present, and future.

Le Monde, the world.

For me, that's Jill.

Le Diable, the Devil.

That must be the shark.

La Mort, death.

Oh, no.

(TENSE MUSIC)

(BIRD CAWING)

What the hell is
that doing here?

Hell no.

Excuse me, Officer.

Yes, ma'am?

How may I be of service?

It's my daughter Cassie.

She went out with a friend

and we haven't heard
from her all day.

Oh, that's terrible.

I'll make some notes.

How old is your daughter, ma'am?

She's 18.

She went out with a boy.

Supposedly, they went
to Sarsaparilla Trail

for a picnic or something.

Well, you know how kids are.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, if they got
caught up in fun,

they might've lost
track of time.

Have you tied phoning her?

Yes, of course.

She's always using her phone.

It's unusual for her
to not answer.

But I haven't been able
to reach her.

Okay.

I'll get you to go down
to the station

and fill out some paperwork.

Um, how long has she
been missing?

A few hours.

Oh.

Well, technically, she's
not a missing person

until she's been gone for 24.

So, you can't do anything?

I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll get you to do that
paperwork
and I'll give you my card.

If you hear anything, you
keep me informed

and we'll do the same.

Okay.

Thanks, Officer.

Hey, Jed.

Where are you?

I'm in the middle of a case.

It had better be a police
case and not a case of beer.

I need you to get down
to Sarsaparilla Trail.

Aw, come on.

I'm doing something.

What's so important?

Missing teens.

You get your butt down there
or I'll forget that my wife

is your sister and fire
your sorry ass.

Fine.

(PHONE SLAMS)

God dang it.

What's your problem now, Jed?

It's my dumb brotherinlaw.

Wants me to go down and
check out Sarsaparilla Trail.

BARTENDER: So what?

I'm on my lunch hour.

You've been here for an
hour and a half already.

That's not the point.

I'm a law man.

As far as I'm concerned, I
deserve a little bit of leeway.

Besides, I work hard
for this city.

Since when?

(CHUCKLES) That'll be
enough out of you.

Another beer, if you please.

I thought you were leaving.

Soon enough.

Sarsaparilla Trail's
just right over there.

Ain't nobody gonna get
killed over one beer.

Besides, why do I get stuck
with all the crap jobs?

Why can't my dumb brotherinlaw

go and check out that
stupid Sarsaparilla Trail?

But you're practically
already there.

You know, I come here
for a sympathetic ear

and all I get is grief.

I don't even know why
I come here.

I assume it's because
you're always

trying to look down my shirt.

Oh, yeah.

That's it. (CHUCKLES)

Guess I'll see you at
church on Sunday.

See you then.

I'm headed out the back door.

(TENSE MUSIC)

(SHARK GROWLS)

What the hell?

(SHARK GROWLING)

No, no!

No!

(TENSE MUSIC)

(SHARK GROWLING)

(GASPS)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(SHARK GROWLS)

He wants the groceries.

(GRUNTS)

(SHARK GROWLING)

(JEN GRUNTING)

No!

(SHARK GROWLING)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(JEN YELLS)

(SUBDUED MUSIC)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Hey, Daddy.

What's up?

You have to find out
who that board

originally belonged to.

I believe they've used it
to entrap an animal spirit.

How am I supposed to do that?

We didn't even find
the board this morning.

What?

Find that board.

I'm going to consult a medium.

I'll let you know if
I learn more.

I still have no way to find
out who the original owner is.

Jill, you've denied
it for years,

but your family has a
history with the occult.

That's probably why the
board was drawn to you

in the first place.

Okay, but, but.

That same connection will
help you find the owner.

All right, if you say so.

Bye, Daddy.

(SCREAMS)

Oh, my god, Donna.

Kim, no!

Oh, my god.

Hey, what did I miss?

(TENSE MUSIC)

What the hell is that
nogood hillbilly

brotherinlaw of mine up to now?

Voicemail?

That man is chained to his
desk next time I see him.

What the hell's going
on around here?

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

JILL: This way, hurry.

Is it behind us?

I don't know.

Well, is it still following us?

I don't know, Tiffany.

For God's sake, calm down.

All right, I don't see it.

TIFFANY: Good.

Okay, if we're gonna
get out of this thing,

we have to stay quiet.

What the hell is going on?

It's a flying ghost shark
for crying out loud.

That kind of thing
doesn't happen.

JILL: I know, I know.

Ghost sharks?

Who even thought that
was a thing?

We gotta stay quiet, okay?

We don't want that
thing to hear us.

Do you know where it came from?

I think it came out of
the Ouija board

that we've been using.

What?

The Ouija board.

I think we somehow summoned
it out of the board.

TIFFANY: I thought
that was just some game.

I know, me too.

Who knew?

What are we going to do?

All right.

First thing's first, we gotta
get the hell out of here.

Wait.

Listen.

Get down.

That was close.

Okay.

If ugly's going that way,
we're going that way.

Got it.

(CELL PHONE RINGS)

Oh, God.

Shit.

(SHARK GROWLING)

Run!

(SHARK GROWLING)

No, we have to stick together.

(SHARK GROWLS)
(TIFFANY YELLS)

Tiffany!

Keep running.

I'll meet you at your car.

Just...

Just get up and run.

Get up and run!

(SHARK GROWLING)

Oh, no.

(TIFFANY YELLS)

Damn it.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(GASPS)

What the hell?

You can't sneak up on
people like that.

Where did you get that?

MAN: It's controlled
by the board.

I mean, who the hell are you?

MAN: I know of the board.

It belongs to me.

The spirit of the shark
was placed within it by me.

Well, that's the...

That's the craziest thing
I've ever heard.

MAN: Crazier than
what you've seen today?

I guess not.

My father says you're the
only one who can stop it.

MAN: Perhaps.

I have dabbled with powers
that I shouldn't have.

I tapped into elemental
forces to try to control it,

but you cannot control the
sheer brutality

of the great white shark.

Even one that has passed
through the land of the living.

Well, can we use the board

to send it back where
it came from?

MAN: I don't know.

I can't believe this
is happening.

MAN: It's all true.

The shark has killed now
and will keep killing

unless I can return it
to the board.

Well, we have to do something.

Oh, shit.

Where'd you go?

You've come to the right place,
Anthony.

I can feel the otherworldly
forces all dancing around you.

You can save the
dramatics for the rubes.

I just need to know if there's
a way to help my daughter.

The future is often
difficult to see.

Always changing.

However, the present
is less of a challenge.

Your daughter is in danger.

Right now.

The beast is hunting her.

What can we do to stop it?

There must be something.

I will try to distract it,

but if it becomes aware
of our interference,

it may turn its
attention towards us.

We have to take that chance.

We'll be safe as long as
I break contact

with the crystal ball
before it moves our way.

Okay.

Do what you must.

(TENSE MUSIC)

(SHARK GROWLING)

(GUN FIRING)

(SHARK GROWLING)

I didn't think that
was gonna work.

ANTHONY: What's happening?

What do you see?

Patience.

I've never done anything
like this before.

The strain is incredible.

Of course.

I'm sorry.

But a shark...

The shark is watching.

No, you have to distract it.

Doing so would only
put us in peril.

Hey!

Over here!

Fresh meat!

Come on, you son of a

(SHARK GROWLING)

(YELLING)

Mama told me there'd be
days like this.

(SUBDUED MUSIC)

It's unnaturally cold.

(SHARK GROWLS)

(SHARK GROWLING)

What the hell's that noise?

(SHARK GROWLING)

(GUN FIRING)

(SHARK GROWLING)

Jeez.

(GUN FIRES)

(SHARK GROWLING)

Jeez.

(GRUNTS)

Open up!

Let me in, let me in!

(SHARK GROWLING)

Oh, jeez.

Open up!

JILL: Come on.

(SHARK GROWLING)

What the hell is that thing?

I don't think you'd
believe me if I told you.

It looked like some sort
of flying ghost shark.

Okay, maybe you
would believe me.

Is it still out there?

No, I think the board
warded it off.

The board?

What the hell are you
talking about?

Listen, I can
explain everything.

Just follow me, okay?

You got a permit for that gun?

How is this possible?

Magic.

That makes me feel so
much better.

What are we gonna do?

Look, we have the chance
to end this now, okay?

But you're gonna have to
do what I say.

This is crazy.

Pull yourself together,
all right?

There's gotta be a way for the
board to get us out of this.

Where's the planchette?

OFFICER: Use this.

Come on.

Is there anybody out
there that can help us?

The shark.

(SHARK GROWLS)

Is there anybody there?

Dad?

But that means...

Oh, God.

Not you, too.

(TENSE MUSIC)

I love you too, Daddy.

Goodbye.

(GRUNTING)
(SHARK GROWLING)

Oh, no.

I'm dead.

(SHARK GROWLING)

You hear that?

You can't hurt me anymore!

(SHARK GROWLS)

Hey.

I've got to use my
occult training.

(SHARK GROWLS)

Mystic shield.

(GRUNTING)

(YELLS)

(SHARK GROWLS)

(EXPLOSION BOOMS)

What happened?

Did he win?

I can't tell.

What's stronger than a shark?

Love in the human spirit.

(SHARK GROWLING)

(BOTH GASP)

Fuck you, bitchface!

(GUN FIRING)

It's not working.

(SHARK GROWLING)

Maybe this will.

This is for my dad, you
aquatic douchebag.

(GUN FIRES)

(GROUND RUMBLING)

(BOOM ECHOES)

(SHARK GROWLS)

That takes care of that.

Screwing with Ouija
boards is a terrible idea.

No duh.

I could use a drink.

You?

I could use about six.

And some sushi.

Too soon.

(TENSE MUSIC)

(PRESIDENTIAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(PHONE RINGING)

What is it?

It's me.

Mission accomplished.

Everything on the eastern
coast has been completed.

The project appears to
have been a success.

PRESIDENT: Right, right.

Right, I got it.

How did the experiment go?

It's really, really,
really important.

The experiment went very well,
sir.

We can expect that very
soon it can go worldwide.

Excellent.

Prepare phase two of
Operation Ouija Shark.

It's gonna be huge.

(LAUGHING)

(PRESIDENTIAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(BOOM ECHOES)

(SHARK GROWLS)

("OUIJA SHARK" BY GOAT)

♪ Was a nice day on the beach,
soakin' sun on coastal reef ♪

♪ Just another day of killin'
time and wasting life achieved ♪

♪ Then something floated by ♪

♪ I swear it looked
you in the eye ♪

♪ So you dragged it from the
depth and woke its sleep ♪

♪ Now you've summoned
something from the deep ♪

♪ Something dark and
something mean ♪

♪ Now everybody's dead ♪

♪ It's the Ouija Shark ♪

♪ Fast forward ♪

♪ Cool party with some friends ♪

♪ Boring, kidding it's gettin'
frisky ♪

♪ Not a single care in them ♪

♪ One by one they'll fall ♪

♪ He will eat them all,
big or small ♪

♪ Why's this happening again ♪

♪ Now you've summoned
something from the deep ♪

♪ Something dark and
something mean ♪

♪ Now everybody's dead ♪

♪ It's the Ouija Shark ♪

♪ Save us ♪

♪ Save us from this devil ♪

♪ One big bite will drag
us down to hell ♪

♪ Save us ♪

♪ Save us from this devil ♪

♪ One big bite will drag
us down to hell ♪

♪ You're gonna need a
bigger board ♪

♪ Now you've summoned
something from the deep ♪

♪ Something dark and
something mean ♪

♪ Now everybody's dead ♪

♪ Now you've summoned
something from the deep ♪

♪ Something dark and
something mean ♪

♪ Now everybody's dead ♪

♪ Now you've summoned
something from the deep ♪

♪ Something dark and
something mean ♪

♪ Now everybody's dead ♪

♪ Now you've summoned
something from the deep ♪

♪ Something dark and
something mean ♪

♪ Now everybody's dead ♪

♪ It's the Ouija Shark ♪

♪ Everybody's dead ♪

♪ Fuck you, fishface ♪

(UPTEMPO ROCK MUSIC)

(SUBDUED MUSIC)