Organize Isler: Sazan Sarmali (2019) - full transcript
Asim Noyan swindles people with his lies and games. Asim Noyan and his gang, who no one else has been able to catch, gets into a ruse again.
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is a breathtaking contest!
The winner will be the king of Istanbul!
To my right, Ronaldinho from the South!
And to my left, holding the Istanbul
Championship title for two years
Hezarfen Ahmet Celebi!
The bird performing the most tumbles
in a single throw wins.
Place your bets!
Final bets!
-Are we ready?
-We're ready!
First up, Ronaldhino!
-Come on!
-One!
-Come on!
-Two!
-Three!
-Come on!
Three tumbles by Ronaldhino!
Next up is Hezarfen!
One!
Two! Three!
Four!
Five!
Hezarfen wins!
That's it. The king of birds.
That's my boy.
Sir, what shall I do with Ziya?
Bring him in.
-After you.
-You're the visitor.
-Greetings, Ziya.
-Hello, Mr. Saruhan.
Listen to me.
There was a local
amateur league game this week
between Eskin Market Bayir Turban Spor
and Aksay Elektrik Yeknasankoy Spor...
What's up with these weird names?
You bet good money on these games.
Is that right?
That's right. What's the matter?
Listen, the situation here
is a rather interesting one.
The final score,
the scores of the first and second halves,
the scorers,
the taker of the first throw-in,
the first corner kick--
motherfucker, the first heartbeat--
how come you--
how come you know all that?
Mr. Saruhan, here's the situation.
I have this special gift.
How could you know the result
of the referee's coin toss?
I didn't even know we took bets on that.
-That's news to me.
-It's new. Very popular.
Okay, go on.
I swear on all your dead relatives
that it's my gift of prediction.
My friends and acquaintances
know all about it.
You know what it's like?
It's a God-given gift.
-A God-given gift, you say?
-When something's about to happen, I get--
something happens to me-- a feeling.
-Snap!
-Snap?
I get this thing, like a snap, and there.
"Snap"? Snap, he says.
Since you have this ability, Ziya,
you can perhaps guess
what will happen now, right?
Of course.
What will we do to you now?
I'd cry more but you won't believe me.
Nektar never believed me anyway.
Then you'll give me some time
and I'll walk out.
And I'll find the money
by tomorrow afternoon...
-and bring it to you.
-He really knows.
-Thank you.
-Get out.
Nektar, you get out. You stay.
Now, you've guessed it all.
But there's one thing you missed.
What's that?
-What could it be?
-If one man doesn't pay his debt...
nobody else will.
That's very well said.
Now, take a step back.
Step back.
Is this fine?
-Right.
-Don't stare at me. Get lost.
We were just joking.
Oh, my!
-Did you get it, darling?
-I got it.
Nazli looks beautiful.
-Come on.
-Hold it.
-Welcome!
-Hello. Welcome.
-Hello?
-Is this Bahadir Temizel?
Yes?
Bahadir, come on!
This is Police Chief Inspector
Hasan Barkucu.
Listen to me very carefully.
A serious civic, public and dangerous
situation related to you has arisen.
Dangerous? Related to me? How come?
Cooperate with us and we can resolve this.
But I must tell you, this is serious.
But I'm getting married today.
Leave your current location now.
Await instructions in a safe place.
And please hurry up!
Hurry! Your account is hacked.
We're talking about illegal money traffic.
Okay.
Yes, I can hear you now.
This operation is directed by the DA.
I'm putting you through to his secretary.
Sir, I'm putting you through to the DA.
-Have a nice day.
-What? DA?
Mr. Temizel, this is DA Ilhan Gundogan.
A prominent member of a terrorist
organization has been captured.
-He had your identity information.
-That's impossible, sir.
And I'm at the wedding hall right now.
-I'm getting married.
-Sir!
You don't get the gravity
of the situation.
You must follow my instructions.
Now, quietly leave your current location
and go out to the nearest main street.
Okay, but why can't I get married first?
Unless you carry out our instructions,
you may face a 36 years-to-life sentence
for being a member
of a terrorist organization.
Okay, I'm walking that way.
-Did you withdraw the money?
-I did, sir. In cash.
Good. Now, turn left.
Walk without drawing attention.
I turned left, sir.
My wife is on the other line.
Let me explain to her.
Don't do that!
This is a secret operation
and you're talking about your wife!
Don't attract attention. I'm telling you,
you may face a life sentence.
Okay, sir, I'm walking.
Sir, my battery is almost dead.
Given the importance of the operation,
let me charge it.
Let's not compromise anything.
No. Every second counts!
You're being pursued by the terrorists.
We must urgently conclude the operation.
-Now turn left.
-Okay.
-Walk quickly towards the back.
-Yes, sir.
-Now sit on the bench in front of you.
-Okay, sir.
-I'm sitting.
-Good.
Put the money on the bench and leave
as a shootout may ensue any moment.
Yes, sir.
But, sir, I have no money on me.
May I take some for the taxi fare?
-He wants the taxi fare.
-Let him take it.
No way.
No, sir.
Those bills are marked.
Leave the location.
Sir, my battery is almost...
dead.
There's the fish at the tea house.
I'm moving in to rip them off.
Wait for my sign. Be ready.
Let's assume we're dividing 1300 by 50.
-Is five smaller than 13?
-Of course it is, Dad.
There are two of them. Here is the math.
They're giving us more or less
the same price.
No, son. We bargain all the way.
Just grab the guy's arm and shake it
until he gives you the price you want.
We're buying iron, Dad, not sheep.
It was an example, you idiot.
-Are those my guys?
-Where's my hundred?
Have a nice day.
Hello, Tutku. What did the boss say?
Why should we keep out surplus iron?
The storage is costly, just sell it.
Someone much more important is calling
on the other line, I must hang up.
Nobody is calling, actually,
I said that just to hang up.
-Sorry?
-As a joke, Dad.
The gentleman hung up sarcastically
to dismiss the person on the other end.
-Right.
-Well said.
I couldn't have put it so well myself.
You described it so well.
Semih Erken from Bezirgan Construction.
-Ihsan Kulunc.
-Semih Erken.
Naim Kulunc.
I'm very sorry.
I'm still boiling with anger.
Really? What happened?
All the preparations were done,
we were ready to start.
The general director got replaced.
Then came the elections, allowances
stopped, we got a one-year deferral.
-That's a shame.
-We ended up with tons of goods.
-Right.
-I don't mean to meddle,
but it makes no sense
to keep the goods for a whole year.
If you'd like to sell,
you have a buyer here.
-Right, Dad?
-Wait a moment, son.
Don't jump straight in.
The boss isn't selling it anyway.
I vote for selling.
I say, rather than 2000 a ton,
let's just get rid of it for 1500.
But he won't listen.
Why don't we go
and speak to your boss, then?
He'll listen to my dad. Won't he, Dad?
We might be interested
if we can get a good discount.
Like... 1300.
-1400.
-Deal.
See? I got the discount right away.
Say, "A great deal, Dad!"
Yes. It's a deal, right?
Shall we see the boss?
Not today.
The boss likes to spend his Fridays
on his boat with his friends,
and doesn't want to be disturbed.
Good thing it's Wednesday.
Wednesday. Right, it's Wednesday.
The boss likes to spend his Wednesdays
on his boat with his friends,
and doesn't want to be disturbed
under any circumstance. No way.
That's a shame.
If the boss tells me off,
I need you to back me up, okay?
-Of course, sir, don't worry.
-This is a "doziac," isn't it?
It's called a "Zodiac," Dad.
It has a mechanism that uses inflated air.
I'm not selling it. I can't. I won't.
Sir, don't you always say,
"Don't do business
if you can't turn assets
to money on time"?
These boys are so good at sniping at me
with my own words.
Don't say that.
What was that one the other day,
about salmon?
-Salmon?
-A friend from Norway
sent me some caviar recently. Red caviar.
I said to him,
"You didn't give me a loaf of bread
when I was poor.
I don't need your salmon now."
That's very well said.
Sometimes a piece of dry bread
is worth much more
compared to more expensive food.
That's what I think you meant.
Well said, son.
You distilled the moral of the story
so well.
What's your name, young man?
Naim, sir.
He's my son.
I don't know about him.
Perhaps he's been worn down by age,
but the kid is smart.
Give a young entrepreneur like him
some rocks,
and he can squeeze them,
and sell what comes out as spring water.
This kid will succeed.
-Have you eaten it before?
-What, sir?
Salmon caviar.
No, sir. Never had the opportunity.
But I've heard about it.
Amazing.
This is what it must be like to be smart,
lucky and overweight.
Bring the caviar. I like this kid.
Let's make Naim's day!
Give him some caviar to eat
and play the music. Turn it up!
Come on!
Come here, Ihsan!
Wonderful... wonderful.
Wonderful. Wonderful.
Naim, as soon as you transfer the money
to our account, all the iron is yours.
Right, I'll do it online.
-I'm on it.
-Great.
Look, Dad, online banking.
I think...
gold will be the best investment, I think.
Am I wrong?
I don't think I can think
that you can think something wrong.
Your heart is as beautiful
as your appearance, you know that?
Thank you, sweetheart.
You go to this page.
Here's the account number he gave us.
Copy. Paste.
-That's where I fail.
-Just hold it down.
-There it goes. I've transferred it.
-Congratulations.
-Is the transfer done?
-Yes. You have it.
Okay, hang up.
If you're ready, I'll count down.
Three, two, one.
FUNDS AVAILABLE IN YOUR ACCOUNT
Here it is.
-Wish you the best.
-Bless you.
-Take care, sir. See you.
-God bless you.
He's smiling now that he got the discount.
-That's my dad! Bye.
-See you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
-Hello, sir.
-Hello?
I think there's a problem.
What's the problem?
You haven't sent the money yet, sir.
No way! Of course we have.
Tell him that we transferred the money.
We transferred, sir.
See, here's the receipt.
Here is the account number. It's all here.
That's not our number.
-What do you mean?
-How come?
-Where's the man who made the order?
-Which man?
-Ask him, son. Which man?
-Which man?
That young man, Mr. Talip.
Wait a minute. Sir, Mr. Erken came here.
He said this was their account.
We did as he said. We sent the money.
-Who is Mr. Erken?
-The young man.
-That is Mr. Talip.
-Is Talip young, too?
That's strange.
Hello, Ms. Gulsen.
-What's going on?
-They say they sent the money.
But it's not in our account. Can we do...
When he told me to leave
the wedding hall, I left,
following the instructions of the DA, I--
Still saying "the DA."
Well, according
to the instructions of people
purported to be in the DA's office,
I withdrew the money from the bank.
-And then, at Sirkeci Park--
-Can I please step out?
-Of course.
-Thank you.
-Jeweler?
-Yes, sir.
It appears that you bought gold, not iron.
No, sir. We bought iron.
-Tell him, son. Say, "We bought iron."
-We bought iron, sir, not gold.
You sent the money to a jeweler.
How is that?
You bought gold.
No, sir. We trade in iron.
Why would we buy iron from a jeweler?
Tell him, son,
we bought from an iron trader.
Wait a minute, Dad.
This is a well-known trick,
it's called "baiting the fish."
They don't use a bank account,
they use the jeweler.
Right.
Baiting.
Naim, where is the money?
The men bought gold with it, Dad.
Right. Where is the iron?
The owner took it back.
So where is the gold?
The men ran away with it, Dad.
Which men?
Dad, I'm begging you, stop that!
Those men defrauded us!
You...
you ate the fish poop,
you drank the alcohol,
and you fucked us up.
Son of a gun!
Get out of here! You tube of a boy!
You fat tube!
Where are you going by yourself?
The lawyer didn't sound very hopeful.
We may find the men but there's
little chance of finding the money.
Such guys would say
they spent the money.
I'll go after them myself if need be.
I'll slap you myself now!
-You'll hit me?
-I should have earlier.
Please shut up.
You messed up. Be quiet.
Okay, you're right.
But I'll fix the mess I've made.
Those jerks will pay me back
with interest.
Watch your mouth and shut up!
Just stop speaking!
-Okay, darling.
-Don't say that either.
-Just shut up completely!
-I said okay!
If you had shut up after saying that,
I would have, too!
I wouldn't have spoken if you hadn't.
-Saying "I shut up," doesn't mean talking.
-Bahadir, enough!
You're shouting at a man
who has to shut up.
Still talking.
Pokemon!
Shoot!
That's it!
Blond Saruhan?
That's the man you owe money to?
I called the folks at the village,
they won't overdo it next time.
A fixed match should end 2-1.
Just get that.
I have a new place.
I'll double down the money.
I'll make that money,
and I'll pay back my debt to Saruhan.
-There you go.
-Or they will fuck you up.
-Exactly.
-What?
-Hit it!
-I can't get the ball!
-Bravo!
-Well done, my brother!
Asim, you have a visitor.
Visitor? And you let them right in?
They're insiders already.
What do you mean?
-Puyol.
-Okay.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Can we have a word, Dad?
I wonder how I could have created
such a beautiful thing.
I mean, I know it comes
from your late mother.
How haven't I spoiled such beauty?
Don't worry.
You've spoiled the rest of our lives.
Anyway, I'm not here to talk about that.
-What are you here for?
-We're in trouble.
-We've been defrauded.
-What?
During the wedding ceremony.
Wedding? What wedding?
My wedding.
You got married?
No, when those men did this--
-What men?
-The men who defrauded us.
Tell me now! Who defrauded whom?
Marriage? With who?
You know the guys who call people
on the phone?
They say, "terrorists hacked your phone"
or whatever.
And? You fell for that trick?
Asim Noyan's daughter fell for that trick?
Not me.
-Bahadir did.
-Who is Bahadir?
My prospective husband.
Oh, my. Listen to the words
coming out of your mouth.
How old is that mouth to be able to say
"prospective" and "husband"?
How can you marry
without telling your father?
And you're too young, Nazli.
I'm 24, Dad.
That's young!
I came because I have no one to go to.
Will you help us?
-So?
-So, I wonder
if you can still talk to your father
so coldly after seeing this.
I've written your name on my heart, dear,
inside and out.
Help you? I will die for you!
Put your shirt on, Dad.
"Prospective."
-You should've stayed to eat.
-I only have two hours off from work.
Don't worry about the money.
We'll take care of it.
We've just finished a nice job,
but we spent the money,
and the guys are all in debt.
-Give me two weeks.
-No, Dad.
We don't want stolen money.
We want our own money.
I promised Mom
I wouldn't take anything from you.
-He thinks you're a doctor.
-Who?
-Bahadir.
-You told him so?
You should've said I freelance.
I just made it up when we first met.
Anyway, I'll take care of it.
Listen, Nazli, I know you were very angry
with me back then.
And you still are.
But I was there, you know that.
I waited at the hospital for days,
they wouldn't let me in.
The boys were even going to steal a liver
from another hospital.
But we gave up
because your mother would pester us.
You fooled us time after time.
You said you'd quit crime but never did.
You wore my mother down
more than the cancer.
Those are terrible words.
Ludvinka, why don't you answer the phone?
Did I dial the wrong code for Bulgaria?
Naim.
-Yes, Dad?
-Come here.
-You are...
-I am...
-Listen.
-Yes.
-A son like...
-A son like...?
-A son like you...
-Like...
-A son like you...
-A son like me, yes...
A son like me? What, Dad?
Mother.
Mother.
Mother. Yes?
-Fuc...
-Fuck...
Dad, you're exhausting yourself!
Stop exhausting yourself.
Honey, it didn't work the first time.
Why did you insist on having a kid?
To hell with your test tube baby!
See, here's the result.
Such harsh words to speak to your own son.
He killed his own twin in the womb.
What an idiot!
You robbed me blind.
This is the result. The half-wit.
-Where are you going?
-Never mind. You just rest.
Where are you going, tube boy?
It's not like you asked for my opinion.
There's nothing wrong
with test tube babies. Everyone has them.
Hello, buddy. How are you?
Wow, buddy! What brought you here?
I missed you.
They got the gold from the jeweler
and got lost.
My dad never hurt me once in my life,
and he slapped me on the back of my neck.
I can't believe that, buddy.
I'm like a dead man walking now, buddy.
What?
I said I'm like a dead man walking now.
How can we find these men?
Wait. Don't worry.
I know someone who can help you.
He's our customer,
and he's a very nice person,
and he loves our sandwiches.
So does everyone else.
Sometimes more people line up
than we can serve.
We can't serve them
but they line up anyway.
You really think so?
Can they really solve my problem?
Of course, it's their job.
But I get part of the money.
Sure. It's all for profit, after all.
-Hey, get back to work!
-Coming!
-The bread's getting cold.
-I'm coming.
I'll have one more. This tastes so good.
Caviar has nothing on this.
Gentlemen, these are the fastest roaches
in history!
Usain Bolt was here yesterday.
He quit the sport after seeing them.
Place your bets!
What kind of place is this?
Don't worry, I know this place well.
I don't even understand
where we are right now.
-Just follow me.
-Number one,
number two, three, four, five.
Are you ready?
That's a spooky door.
-Greetings, Unal.
-Welcome.
One, two, three, go!
Five makes a good start,
ahead of the pack.
Three keeps on running.
Number one turns on the jets!
A great run!
Three is coming up from behind.
Number five comes right along.
Number three continues.
Almost catching up!
Three is in the lead!
Number three wins!
After a great burst!
-What's this? They're racing roaches?
-Yeah. Once a week.
-An extraordinary match.
-My goodness.
These are not our traditions. What's this?
I feel sick and weird.
-He thought about this in person.
-Does this place smell?
We're starting the second round.
Three, two, one, go!
Enjoy your meal, sir.
We transferred the money
when we saw the goods.
How could we have known?
And worse, my dad didn't know
I had taken the money from a loan shark.
He thought it was our money.
What happened to your own money?
I spent it pursuing a romance, sir.
She called me from Bulgaria.
She said she was in a tough situation.
We started getting along
as we talked, but--
I've always wondered
who falls for this trick.
This guy.
Oh, boy.
I fell in love with a cruel woman.
I spent all the money.
How's your father?
He's not doing good. He's sick in bed.
And he's been berating me
with some harsh words.
-Have you complained?
-How could I, sir?
He's my father, after all.
I try to be patient with him.
He means the police.
When my buddy told me about the matter,
I thought I'd bring him to you.
We're at your mercy here, sir.
We'll compensate you for your expenses
as soon as we get the money.
Now, it's true that I'm allergic
to robbers, degenerates--
such filthy men.
But I'm absolutely against the kind
of violence that involves beating a man
who doesn't deserve a beating.
-Am I right?
-Right, sir.
But you do beat a man
who deserves it, right?
Of course.
We'll take care of this.
-But I have a request, sandwich man.
-Of course. What is it?
I want you to give your friend
a heavy slap.
A slap?
-Yes.
-Why?
Don't you think a man
who has wasted his father's money...
with Bulgarian women
deserves a good slap?
-I see.
-No.
No. I mean a level higher than that.
It was actually a level below that one,
but anyway...
-Why slap me harder than he wanted?
-How could I get it just right?
-Come on!
-Did it hurt?
When you slap a man that hard, it hurts!
Is the patient's relative nearby?
Is the patient's relative with him?
What's so hard to understand?
Take him out.
They secretly feed the patient!
All right.
Hello.
-Nazli, it's good to see you.
-Let me kiss your hand.
-Hello.
-Hello. Sit down.
Let me introduce you. My father, Dr. Asim.
-Bahadir.
-Associate professor, but it's okay.
No problem.
We've finally met. It's a pleasure, sir.
I'm rather surprised, actually,
about my daughter's untimely decision
to get married...
without letting me know.
We may have drifted apart for a while
but I'm her father, after all.
So I can say this has traumatized me.
Can we get to the actual subject?
We don't want to keep you busy.
I believe we are
right on the actual subject, my dear.
Sir, I was very curious to meet you.
I'm glad the strife between you is over,
or is at least coming to an end
on this occasion.
-How old are you?
-Twenty-nine, sir.
Twenty-nine is not an age. That's 30.
You're middle-aged.
You're that old and you fell for a trick
that not even a child would fall for.
Law enforcement sends everyone
warning messages all the time
to warn people against such fraud.
I delete such bulk messages
without reading them.
-If you don't read them, they'll...
-Dad!
...rob you blind. They robbed him blind.
If you'd fallen for a better rehearsed,
more subtle fraud, I wouldn't have minded.
No need to talk about this.
Say you'll help us
and Bahadir will calm down.
He keeps saying he'll go after them.
-Oh, my.
-Of course I'll go after them.
I'll get our money back.
They'll see that they've met their match
once their match hits them back.
Bahadir, enough.
No. You can't do anything illegal.
If everyone were to do
their own punishing, where's the law?
Where's the order? Where?
I have a social circle consisting
of people in very high places. She knows.
She doesn't visit me
but she knows about my friends.
-You're right.
-I know all sorts of people.
The governor, the police commissioner,
the private secretary...
human resources.
They're all a phone call away, thank God.
They'll do what needs to be done.
They'll prioritize our file.
-We'll take care of it. You just wait.
-You see, Bahadir?
It's settled. Dad will take care of it.
Why don't you get a cup of tea?
My lips got dry.
Did you drink that or blow into it?
I couldn't tell.
It's latte. It's foamy.
It's noisy as well.
Dad.
I'll find those men
and I'll get the money back.
Nobody can deceive Asim Noyan's daughter.
You can't "nutmeg" Ronaldo.
I'll take care of this.
But on one condition.
-What's that?
-Leave that man.
Don't get married.
Especially not to that guy.
He isn't a man to marry.
He's a man to con.
It was an awful idea to ask you for help.
Forget everything we've said.
I didn't come here to see you.
Didn't you see how he drank the latte?
He blew air into it.
You shouldn't be so impulsive at this age.
One can settle every matter by talking.
Bahadir, let's go.
-See you, sir.
-Goodbye, Bahadir.
-What happened?
-Nothing. Let's go.
Children are the hardest question in life.
Why do daughters grow up?
Fathers should get fucking younger.
-Hayri, what's up?
-Fine.
We're looking for some phone tricksters.
We have all kinds of shit going on here
but I haven't heard of that before.
I see, Tayfun.
-See you around.
-Hayri. Why didn't you pay?
Give me some.
GÅ°LOMBAYIR ASSOCIATION
FOR FRIENDSHIP AND SOCIALIZING
Some con men come here,
but they do small jobs-- sweepstakes guys.
"You won. Send us 300 TL
and get your iPad." That kind of thing.
They ask an easy question on the phone.
Like, "What is the square root of 36?"
Is that an easy question?
It's just an example, Pokemon.
Where's this Gűlombayir?
Beats me. You expect the boss
to write "Gambling Den"?
-So there's no such place.
-No, but we have a lot of townsmen.
-This place is full every day.
-Thanks, Sanchez.
-Let us know if you hear anything.
-Will do, buddy.
Come on.
Oh. Hello, girls.
-What's up, Damla?
-I'm Cagla.
-Asim, how are you?
-Fine. You know me.
What about you, honey?
-It's the usual. I work. I go to the gym.
-Jim? Who's Jim?
Nobody. I mean, I exercise.
-You're really something. See you around.
-See you.
-What?
-Honey.
Is it a problem that I don't speak
in my mother tongue?
If I see you flirting with sluts again,
I'll cut out your tongue.
She's not a slut. She has a BA degree.
-Oh? How do you know that?
-How do you know she's a slut?
I didn't see a diploma
but I saw her ass.
Wow, look who's here.
What's up, old man?
Like a bullet since the bypass surgery.
They built an expressway through my heart.
It's brand new.
I bet not everyone can ride
now that it's a toll road.
It wasn't free before either, Lerzan.
How are you, pretty eyes?
Your friend is cruising.
He calls sluts "honey."
-Asim Noyan did that? I can't believe it.
-And your friend here pesters.
I'll go freshen up, "honey."
Sorry.
They hurt my dear Nazli, my friend.
I need to find those men.
I read about that on the Internet, Asim.
The headline was, "Goofy Groom."
And I thought, "Who's that idiot?"
So he was your--?
That's what gets me.
Who cares about the robbers?
It turns out I have an idiot
for a son-in-law.
So they conned the daughter
of the master con man.
And the Internet
will be talking about them
when the master gets to them.
The place is looking great.
-Knock on wood, girl.
-Of course.
And give me that phone you just grabbed.
Let's make the owner's day.
I can't believe you saw that.
I'd like to take a selfie
with the grand master.
I quit this game at the top.
I advise you two to do the same.
Quit the organized schemes, Asim.
Find something you can make for five bucks
and sell for 50. That's it.
I'm confused here. Are you telling us
to stop stealing or to keep on?
He's saying, "Cut down on it."
I'll get you some sushi with yogurt.
It's the latest trend in town.
What's sushi with yogurt?
So you don't know them?
Look.
This is just the kind of thing
that gets on my nerves.
What? Let's say there's this guy.
That guy has some information
he doesn't want to tell us.
In such a case...
my brother Nektar
wants to resort to violence.
"Let's shoot him, beat him, crush him."
But in fact...
people get along by talking.
I say something nice to you...
you say something nice to me.
And he tells me something nice. You see?
We get faster results when we shoot,
that's why.
Sir, I told you. I don't know those men.
They wired the money
and we gave them gold.
-Here are the photos.
-Give me those.
-Here. These are from the security camera.
-Come here.
See if these folks are those folks.
No, sir. I don't know these men.
-You don't know them?
-No, sir.
-Call her.
-She speaks so coldly to me.
-It's getting on my nerves.
-So warm her up.
Tell her you have no conditions.
Just say something.
-But I do have conditions.
-Okay, I have a better idea.
Fine, call her. Let "the freezer" speak.
-What are you reading?
-I'm reading the news, "Goofy Groom."
-Hello?
-Nazli? Hello, dear.
It's Lerzan Berrak.
That is, I'm Dr. Asim's wife, Inci.
Oh, hello, Ms. Inci.
-Who's that?
-My father's wife.
-Give her my regards.
-So how are you?
I'm fine, thanks. How about you?
I'm fine. Listen.
Why don't we all go out
for dinner tomorrow?
-Dinner?
-Dinner?
I don't know.
Let me first ask Bahadir.
By the way, your dad sends you kisses.
And greetings to Mr. Balamir.
-Okay, I'll tell Bahadir.
-Oh-- right.
Bahadir.
So I'll send you
the place and time right now.
It's going to be great. Kisses.
-That's it.
-Well done, "Bahadir."
-Here you go.
-Oh, that's nice.
No.
Listen, handsome. You know this guy?
-Hello.
-I don't remember seeing him, sir.
-Turn him.
-What?
Sir.
Turn him around.
Let him face me. That's it.
Look again now. Do you know this guy?
You don't have to do this.
We can talk upright.
Do you know how many coffee boys
suffer concussions after being turned
upside down and dropped like that?
I don't know, sir.
None. But you'll be the first.
They defrauded us here in front of you.
And that man spoke to you first
when he came in.
I remember now.
-I'll tell. Turn me back.
-Blood goes to the brain.
Right. Good. Let him go.
I meant, turn him around
and then, let him go.
-To hell with your--
-Sorry, sir.
Why did you do that?
God give me patience.
There's too many appetizers.
The main course is still to come.
Just leave the salad. The rest can go.
It's okay. He'll come to his senses.
Take away those appetizers.
Thanks.
-I want sea breams. Not farm-grown.
-Sure. Come with me.
-I quit swearing, smart guy.
-That's for the best, sir.
You're getting into strange habits,
old man.
You're into fishing now?
It's not about the fish.
I'm killing time, Asim.
-I feed the gulls if I catch anything.
-Take from the sea, give to the poor.
Something like that.
So, what about the news?
There's this guy, a regular at our place,
Sitki Besnici.
Luckily, he stopped by.
He knows every hole in the city.
He knows all the rats.
What does he do?
People say he works for the police,
but I think he works for himself.
He knows everyone.
But nobody knows him.
But when he sits down with you,
he blathers on forever.
What's the driving force
behind the economy? Needs.
What is it that determines our needs?
Our urges.
And who guides these urges?
The advertisers, the media,
the chain of markets.
What does the market do to us?
It turns things we don't need
into things we need.
In fact, that's part of human nature.
Animals are the same way.
Baboons, for example.
What do baboons eat? Bananas.
But they'll grab that water
from the tourist's bag.
It's their own habitat.
How do you communicate with the baboon?
You showed him the water.
Now he fancies it.
He's a monkey, and he's right.
Am I wrong?
About those phone tricksters--
Like smartphones.
Give it to some idiot and before long,
it will turn as dumb as an ashtray.
But in the hands of cunning people,
it becomes a weapon.
There seems to be a consensus
between the trickster and the tricked.
The caller exerts authoritarian pressure
upon the person called.
It's like stealing the child within him.
You know the story of the boy
who cried wolf?
Is that shepherd a psycho?
What does shrimp mean to you?
Life is very much like football,
as they say.
Perhaps the shepherd had the spirit
of a fireman and gave the folks a drill.
Sea urchins do the same
but they're innocent.
Nobody knows that.
There's a gang disguised
as dried fruit dealers.
They pull all sorts of tricks.
They commit all sorts of genital
and digital fraud under that guise.
-Genital?
-Visual provocation and blackmail.
This is where the genital
and the digital are intertwined.
They cause the victim to have an erection
through various means.
And then they establish his location
and blackmail him.
Do you believe in horoscopes? I don't.
The environment a person grows up in
is what constitutes his identity.
For example, they say
Taurus and Cancer get along well.
You don't see such a thing in nature.
It won't work in human relationships.
I'm divorcing my fourth wife again.
I'm a Cancer
and the fourth wife is a Taurus.
All four were Tauruses. What's your sign?
-Virgo.
-I've always wanted to be a Virgo.
-So he bored you to death?
-He took hours to tell me an address.
I appreciate that, old man.
-Are you getting along with your daughter?
-Sure, she's fond of me now.
Who isn't fond of you?
She's like a block of ice
that I can't melt.
-She's like her late mother.
-May she rest in peace.
-"First, quit this shady work," she says.
-And what do you say?
I can't find anything to say, my friend.
See you later. Thank you.
OPEN
CLOSED
-Greetings.
-Hello.
-Is this Wet Huseyin's store?
-It's "Rat," not "Wet."
Some rats are wet.
What do you want?
-Let us go inside.
-What?
Inside.
What is this you're drinking,
for God's sake?
What is this?
Leave it, Pokemon.
Prepaid cards, phones.
Looks like you're well equipped.
Someone ripped off the groom
at the wedding hall. Was it you?
-We don't know about that.
-We have nothing to do with that.
We did some shady work a while ago,
but now we sell dried fruits.
-So who is Huseyin?
-This is Huseyin, sir.
-Was it you who did that job?
-Speak.
-Say something.
-Pokemon.
Who are we talking to here? Speak!
I'm talking to you! Talk to me now!
Okay, I'll tell you.
It was the work of the Gebes Family,
Taci Gebes.
They've been boasting about it,
since it's been in the news.
Where are these people?
There's a hookah place
where they hang out called Hisargile.
If you're giving us false information,
I'll visit you again with Pokemon.
No, sir. It's right.
I don't know their address
but I'll let you know when they come.
-Promise?
-I promise, sir.
-Give me a hundred.
-Why?
Just give it to me.
Look, boy. You keep this hundred.
Keep your word, be our friend
and you'll get another hundred.
-But if you don't...
-My hand.
Serbulent.
Serbulent!
Take these nuts. Eat them hot.
-Why did I give you that money?
-Don't worry. I took it back.
-So give it back to me.
-It's not yours. It's his.
Right. He got it from the tea boy.
Tea boy? Give my money back.
You sons of bitches, give money back.
Ariza!
I said, "Who do you think
you're talking to?"
Understand who you're talking to.
I said...
"I had a patient who was presumed dead
and I sent him skiing in two weeks."
She knows.
He was almost dead when I saw him.
Fifteen days later, he was skiing.
He sends me snowballs
every once in a while.
He means he sends him postcards.
-You keep pursing those lips.
-I started off like that, so...
Now, listen to me.
I called almost all of my friends
in high places.
They're looking into the matter.
Hopefully we'll be solving this
very shortly. Cheers.
There's only one way to find those men.
I've done some research.
There are these thugs.
You go and ask them.
They find the tricksters for a price.
They even beat them if you want.
-No.
-Which is what I'd personally prefer.
No way.
You've said that before.
I don't endorse that at all.
What about order?
What about the rule of law?
You don't know what it feels like
to be conned.
How can we know?
We've never conned anyone.
-He means we are never conned.
-Right?
They embarrassed me in front of everyone,
especially the woman I love.
I'm filled with resentment, Nazli.
I'm itching for vengeance.
But vengeance is no good, Balamir.
You'll end up hurting yourself.
-It's Bahadir, Ms. Inci.
-Oh, sorry, dear.
Listen, just relax and wait.
Those men will bring back the money.
That is how it will play out. Don't worry.
They will help things play out this way.
Thank you. We'd like to thank you
in advance, sir.
This distant attitude of yours,
those formal words, drive me crazy.
It gets on my nerves.
So, Nazli.
When you grew up,
you saw that I wasn't the lovable man
you thought I was, right?
But don't forget.
There's nothing I love more than you
and that will never change.
-You should know that.
-Nazli.
Forgive me for asking, but what is it
you don't like about these people?
He spoke such beautiful words.
My late father never said
such beautiful words to me.
Don't worry. You'll dislike him
when you know him.
-Oh, no.
-Come on.
My father-in-law is a doctor
who sent a dead man skiing.
-Cheers, sir.
-Cheers, dear.
Mom! Oh, Mom! Help! Someone help us!
-Please, someone call a doctor!
-They need a doctor, sir.
Let's wait. Maybe there's another doctor.
I wouldn't want to rush to grab the case.
For God's sake,
isn't there a doctor here? Mom!
Here he is.
The best doctor in the world here.
-Don't say that.
-Mom, lie down.
Oh, fuck.
-Please, help.
-Who is the patient?
-I'm a doctor. What's wrong?
-Something's wrong.
-I don't know.
-She's lying down.
Lift her legs.
Help blood run to her brain.
Let's lift her legs.
Help blood run to her brain.
Lift her legs. Not like that.
Don't grunt like that. Try to breathe.
-Should we do cardiac massage?
-Well said.
That's the kind of smart patient relative
that we like.
-Massage--
-Press down.
Breasts? No way.
There. Let's find a way to the heart.
And one! And two!
Perhaps it's better not to count?
-She's dying.
-Madam.
Take a deep breath, madam.
Get up.
One, two, three.
-She swallowed a plum.
-Bravo!
Thank you.
The lady was having
a non-swallowing related spasm.
-Thankfully, I solved the problem.
-Here you are.
Thank you.
-Now, I'll deliver a nice speech.
-Let's hear it.
You see, sometimes, a sad event
can give way to such nicety.
Nicety? What do you mean?
Something bad happens,
but that bad thing
leads to something good.
I want that to be called "nicety."
-Let's call it that.
-And dear Bahadir,
my father has never spoken nice words
to my face, or to my back, either.
So I'll now raise a toast to the lovers,
and those who don't disappoint
their loved ones.
-"Honey"!
-I see.
Cheers.
-I told you it was going to be nice.
-You did, but--
-Bravo! I think it was excellent.
-And there's more, dear Balamir.
Now it's time to dance. Let's go.
Nazli, come on.
Doctor! VJ, play "Doctor!"
Doctor, find a cure for my troubles!
Doctor, find a cure for my troubles
I can't get enough of her
Give me my medicine
Morning, night, before each meal...
Balamir!
I want her by my side every moment
Ariza, there's new fish at the tea house.
Wait to hear from me.
-Are those my folks?
-Yes.
-Here's your hundred.
-No need. This one's on me.
-Really?
-Okay, give it to me.
Hello, Tutku. What's the situation?
Let's just sell it.
Let's just sell it for 1500 a ton
and be done with it, right?
Someone important is on the other line.
I must hang up.
Nobody is calling on the other line.
I said that just to hang up.
May I sit down? I'm Semih Erken.
Hello, sir. Do you remember me?
I don't seem to recall you. Sorry?
Have a nice morning, Tumbling Ziya.
That's Ziya.
-What are you doing here?
-Saruhan, you--
This place--
I can't believe this.
I was just about to ask you for more time
to pay my debt.
This is such a coincidence.
-Was it you who conned this man?
-Sir, this is the man. Positive.
-I swear on all your dead relatives--
-Man.
If you ever...
If you ever swear
on my dead relatives again...
your whole life,
the municipality you're registered to,
and your whole family-- oh, man.
Man!
My ear.
Look, I quit swearing, you know that?
You understand? I quit swearing.
I promised my girlfriend not to swear.
But not swearing is very hard.
-It's very hard not to swear. Got that?
-Yes.
Don't make me break my oath.
But you're such a mother-- oh, man.
Sir, it's the police!
Mother--
-He ran away, didn't he?
-Yes, sir.
Step back.
I'm biting my tongue not to swear at you.
And you bite yours
as if I had sworn heavily at you.
-Yes, sir.
-Get in! Get in the car.
You deserve a beating! You're six meters
tall and trying not to run!
Smart boy, get in.
Hello, I'd like to speak to Dr. Asim.
-Who?
-Dr. Asim Noyan. Associate Professor.
-We don't have a doctor by that name.
-You don't?
-We don't.
-I met him here the day before.
-How could I meet him if he doesn't exist?
-I'm sure he exists but not here.
He's not listed.
-I see.
-Have a healthy day!
Have a nice day.
What's up? Where's Nazli?
She's at the register.
-Hello.
-What's up, Goofy Groom?
I'm fine, big mouth!
-How are you?
-Why did you come here?
I went to the hospital.
-What hospital?
-The one where we met your father.
And?
I asked for your father.
They said he wasn't there.
-Why not?
-I don't know.
I said he was
an associate professor. But no.
Why did you go there?
-To ask him for money.
-For what?
To pay the advance--
to make a deal with some thugs. As a loan.
-What thugs? You'll drive me crazy.
-What am I supposed to do?
-Just wait with my hands tied?
-Yes. What else can you do?
We're not going to do anything.
The thugs will.
-We'll just pay them.
-To hell with your thugs!
Bahadir, I have customers waiting.
Go on. We'll talk later.
I don't know, Dad. I was shocked.
I didn't know what to say.
He went to the hospital out of the blue.
He was going to ask you
to lend him money to give to thugs.
Such nonsense.
And they told him
that there was no such doctor.
What shall I tell him?
What if he figures it out?
He wants to come and talk to you.
Okay.
Talk to you later. I have to go now.
Think of it this way.
If my father hadn't made me marry
an alcoholic beast,
and the man hadn't beaten me
on the first night,
and I hadn't ran away,
and started working at a gambling den,
I'd have never met your father.
-So?
-So...
the lesser evil is good for us.
And your dad is the kindest of all evils.
Or we're stuck with the worst.
Playing doctor is always a risky lie.
You should've made up a freelance job
like a businessman or a trader.
Sorry, Dad.
I'm not as good a liar as you are.
Good, my dear.
You shouldn't try to be, anyway.
And this father of yours
wouldn't even look at me when I was fat.
-How did we get to this now?
-As soon as I lost 19 kilos,
his attitude suddenly changed--
"Don't call me brother," and so on.
Okay, I give up. Call me brother.
No way. You know what your father is like.
So I stopped saying that.
Don't worry, my dear. We'll find a way.
No, Dad. We won't find a way.
Everyone is fooling the poor man.
Including me.
-But this will be solved in three days.
-Dad, please.
Don't you see? Lies can't fix anything.
But you have liars' disease.
It's not a disease, dear.
It's my profession.
Take a look around and see
if I'm the only one
whose profession is lying.
-But you're the best at it.
-Don't say that.
No, you are.
Are you boasting about this?
We're not boasting.
I don't defend what he does.
-But he's the best.
-No, there were great ones before.
Like my master.
That guy could take the underwear
beneath your trousers.
I never knew him.
But how about your doctor impression?
It's like character play,
like an impersonation.
I'm getting goosebumps. Bravo.
It was a bad idea.
I should've never come to you.
It's all right.
I don't work at the hospital.
-I go there for occasional operations.
-There he goes again. But that's great.
All right, Dad.
It's over.
I came to you and I became you.
It was my mistake to come here.
And now I'll fix it.
I'll tell Bahadir the truth.
-Goodbye.
-Nazli, don't be silly.
Nazli. Hello.
What are you doing here?
What is this place?
-Bahadir.
-Baha-- Bahadir!
I can't believe we met here.
What brings you here?
What a surprise, isn't it, Inci?
Enthusiasm for cars.
Ms. Inci and I hang out here
in our spare time to chill out.
It's a special place. It helps us relax.
Dad, stop. I'll tell him the truth.
The truth? What truth?
I was just coming to you
to tell you everything.
I knew my father wasn't a doctor.
-You did?
-Yes, I made that up.
So, what does he do if he's not a doctor?
-My father is a--
-An associate professor.
-He's a con man.
-What?
Yes.
Hello, brother.
What? What do you mean?
Wait a minute. Now I get it.
It was you from the start.
-On the phone and so on.
-See, the idiot figured it all out.
-So you were in this all along?
-No, Bahadir. Don't be silly.
Yes, you were!
Your father is a con man, you're a liar!
-He treated that woman that night.
-Bahadir, please listen.
I want to drop dead right now.
How could you do this to me?
How could you do it? For the money?
-Bahadir!
-Shame on you!
Shame on you!
Wait a minute, listen to me!
It's not like you think, Bahadir!
Bahadir!
That's what you get
for telling the truth, dear.
Get your hands off me!
I never want to see your face again!
-Never!
-Nazli, please don't do that.
Oh, no.
Brother Uzeyir.
If you had been here now, we'd have had
a great time sitting quietly together.
Lots of jerks around talking nonsense
while the men we can sit quietly with
are dying one by one.
I wish such a poem had been written.
It would be nice, right?
BACK IN THE DAY, I SPOKE A LOT.
IT WAS NO GOOD FOR ME, AND I QUIT.
How could I forget?
What do you think?
We checked its blood pressure.
It's a nice one. It's smoking hot.
Shall we go for a drive?
I've been thinking,
perhaps we should do as Kerami said
and quit this thing
and open a store or something.
-A store?
-Yes.
God has given you a gift.
You found your daughter after years.
Don't you think
this is an opportunity to quit?
She said "never." Twice!
She says she doesn't want
to see my face again. Never!
This girl scolds me like no one else has.
Baby, that tattoo on your chest
is really beautiful.
But it doesn't make you a father.
Loving is not enough.
What else should I do?
You need to say it.
You need to show your love.
If you tell Nazli you'll quit,
and if we really quit, that could work.
We can go down south.
We could open a seaside restaurant.
What an original project.
We can buy fish for five and sell for 50.
We'll take Nazli and Bahadir.
We'd both get pregnant.
You'll have both a child and a grandchild.
Is that original enough?
It's too original. It's disgusting.
You must be considering
getting married someday.
That's a subject I prefer
to keep my mouth shut about.
-You're a real heartbreaker.
-But I have an analytical side, too.
Hello.
You made the garden
look like an amusement park.
-I kept calling. Why don't you answer?
-I don't answer. Why do you keep calling?
You said you don't want to see me.
So I figured we could speak on the phone.
Just not a video call.
What does your phone say when I call you?
What name did you save me under?
It says "Dad!!"
With two exclamation marks.
Two exclamation marks.
What surprises you so much?
Nazli.
I really don't like you not liking me.
I don't want anyone else to like me.
I don't care about that.
But you, you're different.
Nazli.
Shall I take you somewhere
you've always loved?
One you'll love now, too?
Row, row, row your boat
With the boatman's oar
With the baker's peer
It's "peel," dear. Not "peer."
"No, with the baker's peer!"
"Peese, Dad, peese."
-There you go.
-Thanks, man.
"Thanks, man."
I actually liked it but didn't let on.
-What?
-Your tattoo.
You know I don't like tattoos.
This is the only one I have.
That's why I liked it.
It hurt so much.
The guy kept drilling my chest
-cruelly for three hours.
-All right, Dad. Don't overdo it.
Don't you worry at all.
Daddy will take care of this.
"Daddy" with two exclamation marks.
Save me like that.
Oh, Dad.
Things could have been much better.
Why are you like this?
All right, I may have done wrong,
but I'm cute. Right?
It's not cute that you've done wrong.
Right, it's not.
Show some effort, Dad. People can change.
Yes, they can.
A cucumber can become a pickle.
But pudding, that's very hard.
Every cucumber wants
to become pudding, after all.
But it's very hard.
Very hard.
Goal!
BAHCESEHIR COLLEGE
I went to school for one day.
And that was to help some friends
steal something from the cafeteria.
Go on. I'll join you.
What do you want?
You took my money, my love,
everything I had.
What else?
Stop that soap opera talk
and listen carefully.
Yes, I'm not a doctor-- I mean,
not a medical doctor.
Our expertise is different.
A project is conducted
within an organized concept.
A product that doesn't belong to us
is made to belong to us.
So you're thieves.
If we liked that word, we would use it
and not beat around the bush.
-Sorry.
-So yes, this is what we are.
But my daughter
has nothing to do with any of this.
-No. I think she's very good at lying.
-No.
If she had been,
you wouldn't have figured it out.
And you fall for everyone else's lies.
Just fall for hers, too.
What do you say, my friend?
How does that saying go?
"When the truth is ugly..."
-"A handsome lie will work better."
-That's it.
My Nazli is pure and innocent.
She hasn't done a single thing wrong.
That's why she keeps telling me off!
We're the ones busy with murky business.
Got that?
-Are you the phone tricksters, too?
-Come on. Are you crazy?
She asked for help.
That's how I got involved.
She was refusing me before that.
It's all because of you.
Indeed, because of you.
If you hadn't swallowed that bait,
she wouldn't have come to me.
Should I actually thank him?
-No, don't go that far.
-Right.
So does Nazli love me?
Unfortunately.
Unfortunately.
-This is a private school, right?
-Yes, it is.
Where's the safe?
Please--
He's kidding, man!
They keep the money in a bank, not here.
Look, Bahadir.
For some reason, my daughter loves you.
I have to accept that.
But from now on,
if you hurt Nazli, even one bit--
I think you got the message.
I have, Dad.
And don't call me "Dad"
before I call you "son."
-Understood?
-Understood, sir.
Good. Wait here.
He's such a good man, Nazli.
I never thought I'd be matchmaking
for my daughter. Here.
Okay, stop sulking.
Welcome.
Hello.
So where have you been?
At the deep end of hell.
Any place away from you is hell for me.
So where did you stay?
-Hilmi's. He made me sleep on the couch.
-Where else would you sleep?
Wait, wait! I got it.
Got it.
T-R-U-C-K-S-U-I-T.
What's that?
The kind of clothes you wear
when doing athletics. Trucksuit.
The clothing you wear
doing athletics is a tracksuit.
There are regional variations
for every word, fat lips.
-We've located the faggot Ziya.
-No swearing.
-No swearing.
-Well done, my love.
-Nektar!
-Sorry.
-Tell me.
-We found Mr. Ziya's location.
We visited the coffee boy again.
It turns out he knew
where he was all along.
-Is that for real?
-I swear, sir.
Out.
I accept this one. It's my turn.
-What? Wait, what--?
-Triple score.
This confuses me. Let's do something else.
-Why, darling?
-It's over my head. I'm getting bored.
But you're learning new words.
What was the last word you learned?
-"Empathy."
-Right.
"To put yourself
in someone else's situation."
That's my darling!
I'll bite that belly of yours.
-Stop it now!
-Let me bite that belly.
Stop it! I'm getting nervous.
-He said "empathy"!
-Wait, stop.
Stop it. I have a tic, you know that.
Don't.
-Go down.
-Okay.
I don't mean that.
Go downstairs, to the bedroom.
Okay.
-And turn off the lights. Listen.
-Yes?
-Turn off the lights. I'm coming.
-Okay.
I'll bite you.
Come on!
There you go! We lost the money!
Let's get started.
-That stuffing is homemade.
-No, it's store-bought.
-The girls put currant in it!
-Store-bought!
-You want to bet?
-Asim.
We got a message from the hookah place.
The guy is there.
Okay, everyone get ready.
Get the tools.
And call the captain. We'll be sailing.
-The traffic would give us cancer.
-Let me come with you.
I messed it up.
Let me be there as we fix it.
This is not like the movies.
This is very serious and dirty work.
That you know nothing about.
I've been talking about some thugs.
It turns out those thugs were you.
Let me join you.
I'm the only one who can identify him.
I just need to hear his voice.
I have great ears. Really.
Unfortunately, he is right.
Okay, let him come.
-Be careful, darling.
-Don't worry, darling.
Stop saying "darling"
in front of your father.
-Asim, please be careful.
-Don't worry.
You stay on the sidelines. No questions.
Do as I say.
Do not talk nonsense. Understood?
-Understood, Dad.
-And don't "Dad" me.
-Are those guns real?
-Of course not. We never use real guns.
-You think we're gangsters?
-Of course not.
It's them.
I think we're just a little bit late.
I'm just saying.
Have a nice day, Your Excellency.
May you prosper, Asim.
They're going to the boat.
If we chase them, we can perhaps
save one more poor fellow, God willing.
-Why do you ramble on so much?
-I guess I'm scared.
When my fear levels rise,
I get this rambling reflex.
-And that can cause other things--
-Let's get out.
-Let's get some fresh Bosphorus air.
-Right.
Why aren't we going?
The men know you.
They'll run if they see you, right?
-Right.
-Don't poke your nose into anything.
Just tell me if the guy is our man.
That's it.
I know.
I used to have a gang when I was a kid.
Once the men come, I'll act calmly.
I'll signal to you if it's him or not.
-It's all good.
-Your son-in-law is talking nonsense.
I've been alive for 50 years, I have yet
to see a person who doesn't.
Either there's no such person
or I haven't met them.
But the men--
-Where's the guy?
-Over there.
That Dalmatian?
-Yes.
-Pokemon.
-What shall we drink, my friend?
-I'll have a lemona--
Berkay! Brother!
Berkay, my brother!
Help me take him outside.
Okay, brother.
Dude, you just couldn't solve
your problems.
Sex isn't everything!
It happens all the time.
We'll take care of it. Dude.
Sex isn't everything.
It's only been three months.
-Hold on, pretty face!
-Berkay?
Let's lay him down here.
-Lay him down.
-Hope he gets well soon.
-What--?
-Step out quietly, Mr. DA.
Who are you?
He said quietly. Step out.
-Come here.
-Come on!
Berkay, you must have mistaken me
for someone else.
-We'll make you someone else in a minute.
-That was a good pun.
That's not a pun. It's a figure of speech.
-Figure? What figure?
-Right, figure.
Hello, sir.
I've just explained it to the guys.
There must be a misunders--
Is it him?
Mr. Temizel, this is DA Ilhan Gundogan.
Man!
It's him.
They got the man.
They'll con him in the boat!
Look at him. He's running away like a cat!
-Smarty.
-Yes.
This is an old habit of mine.
I drive every vehicle myself.
In other words,
I don't get in any vehicle
I can't drive myself.
I even drive the taxis I get in.
I ask the driver, "Can you move aside?"
-I ask him nicely.
-Right.
How is this gun fake? It's real!
Stop that! Don't mess with it!
Idiot.
Boss, we've got company.
So these jerks are well-prepared.
Get up! Get up!
-What's going on?
-Call your friends right now.
Tell them to go away.
Or I'll tie weights to your feet
and send you to the bottom.
-What friends?
-Those ones!
What friends? What's going on?
I know nothing about this!
Don't lie!
I swear, I've got nothing to do with them,
or we would be negotiating.
He's right.
So who's following us?
-Maybe our friend Ziya knows!
-What?
-I swear on your dead relatives!
-Ziya, who are these men?
-Tell him, man!
-I'll tell!
It's Saruhan.
-Saruhan who?
-You know.
Blond Saruhan?
-You put the betting mafia on my tail?
-Boss, please! Please!
Beat him!
What are you doing?
Don't get carried away!
Asim.
Can we go a little faster?
You!
Pull over!
-You give Istanbul a bad name!
-That's the iron dealer, Naim!
-How did they get together?
-I have no idea.
You're still lying!
It's closing! It's almost closed!
You broke the bridge!
-Get in the cars!
-Come here!
Come on! Quick!
They're coming!
Move!
Step on it! He's coming!
-I'm stepping on it! Can't you see!
-Come on, step on it!
Come on! Come on!
-Oh, no!
-No!
Turn around!
Get out of the way!
Move!
We're flying!
Thank God.
Now tell me,
how will you get our money back?
-What money?
-The money you stole from me, Mr. DA.
I have nothing to do with that. I swear.
-Bahadir.
-Okay!
Let's go to my office.
I'll present the money there.
-He said okay. Why did you hit him?
-I asked for the taxi fare that day.
-They didn't give me any.
-He didn't faint. He's faking.
Get up!
I'm fine. Don't worry about me.
We'll climb these stairs.
Don't attract attention!
Ouch! My shoulder really hurts!
Really? You poor thing.
-Sir, I'm feeling really dizzy.
-Walk on, man!
-This way?
-This way, sir.
-Can I catch my breath for a moment?
-Move!
Here.
Wait. You wait here, okay?
-But the action will take place inside.
-What?
I'll miss the best part.
I wish I had enough time
to beat you now. Just stand there!
-Oh, hello.
-Have a nice day, sir.
This is the first time
I've met a real midg-- small person.
I'd show you the real thing,
but I don't have time.
What a sweet thing.
So let's see the money, brother.
Stop laughing, Dalmatian.
Sahin!
I laugh for two reasons.
One, there's not a single note
in the stash.
The money must already be
on its way to Snow White.
-Who?
-"Snow White"!
-The dwarf!
-What dwarf?
A midget walked right past me.
He had a bag with him.
He ran away! I'll show you!
Bahadir, stay out of it!
The second reason I laugh,
I heard that handsome kid
saying in the boat,
those guns are fake.
We really have an expert jerk here.
Right, these are fake.
It's a matter of principle.
An "If you're smart enough,
you don't need these," kind of thing.
But don't think these are useless.
They do come in handy sometimes.
-Such as when?
-Such as now.
Get up!
Get over there!
You, too. Move!
You, come here! Get up!
Listen, Dalmatian. Never forget this.
Nobody, I mean nobody,
hurts my daughter.
-He isn't there?
-No.
-Welcome.
-Hello.
Dad, where is Bahadir?
He went after the money.
-Where is the money?
-The dwarf took it away.
-Where is the dwarf?
-Dad, where is Bahadir?
He went after the dwarf, dear.
He went chasing the money.
What dwarf, Dad?
What happened to Bahadir?
Here's what happened.
He was waiting outside
when the dwarf went that way
and he went after him.
Because we were fighting the men inside.
We wrestled the men around the room
and when we got out, we looked around.
-We couldn't find him.
-So you just left without him?
Dad, what have you done?
Asim, is this dwarf
a very short person or an actual--?
-Does that detail really matter?
-No.
And where are our guys?
Who are these people?
Boys?
What happened to you?
We flew into the sea.
We almost drowned.
They took us out and they beat us wet.
-We dried as they beat us.
-And then they wet us again.
And beat us again.
My bones are aching.
Greetings.
Hello.
Hello.
-Do you remember me, sir?
-I can't seem to recall you right now.
We ate salmon caviar together.
Well, it's Naim! This is unbelievable.
Believe me, those boys have been
looking for you all over the place.
Look where a small misunderstanding
has brought us.
Let me treat you
to some fine jumbo shrimp.
Thank you, no.
I've developed a dislike
for all seafood, thanks to you.
Oh, no.
Let's not dwell on this matter
for too long in front of the ladies.
Bring us the money
you've taken from this man, right now.
Here's how we can solve that matter.
Ziya. Not Ziya.
Ariza, open the safe.
Bring whatever we have.
We don't have much at hand
as you came without notice.
We can pay the first part now
and pay the rest in parts
because our promise is our honor.
We are faithful to our debt.
Either you bring all the money
you've taken, or Nektar...
-Sir.
-Nektar will shoot.
I don't like it, but Nektar will shoot.
Please, there's no need for shooting.
Actually, I have an idea.
A much better one.
Nektar, I'll count up to three.
Shoot him in the right kneecap.
-Dad!
-Asim!
Don't assume the worst right away.
-They have yet to count to three.
-I'm ready.
-One.
-Sir.
-Dad.
-Asim.
Two.
-Asim.
Move. It may pass through and hit you.
-Look away, dear.
-Hello everyone.
Bahadir?
I did it, darling. Look.
I told you I could do it.
We'll hand him over to the police.
I told the taxi driver he was drunk.
Those men.
Bahadir, son. What great timing.
Well done! The money is there, isn't it?
Now take out whatever we owe
to the gentleman and hand it to them.
We shall never owe
such esteemed people again.
Shame on you!
Nektar, bring the bag.
No.
Perhaps you should take
the exact amount, not the whole thing.
Open it.
-There's a lot in here, sir.
-My God, thank you.
-Enough?
-Enough, sir.
So come on, then.
Mr. Saruhan. Mr. Saruhan.
Now, we're not strangers here.
Truthfully, there's much more
in the bag than what we took from Naim.
What do you say
we find a way to insure justice
in the income distribution?
For example,
how about not taking all the money?
To accept a result-oriented approach.
He's lost in thought.
He was going to speak
but he changed his mind.
The rebellious black singer Bob Marley
sings these lines I like very much.
-What?
-What?
He says, to the one he leaves behind...
"I'll leave your life like a shooting star
And all you can do
Is make a wish after me."
That's a beautiful lyric.
-A beautiful lyric.
-It's a bit long, but it's nice.
-Who's Bob Marley?
-The smoker.
-With the curly--?
-Right.
-Get in the front seat.
-Right.
Are you warm or cold
towards the idea of working for us?
What are the terms, sir?
There are no terms, Smarty.
For example, what will my wage be?
Do I get a raise every six months?
Do I get insurance? These things matter.
I'm sorry, Nazli.
We failed. We were fooled.
We couldn't get the money.
It's all right, Dad.
We won something more important
than money.
Look, we're almost a family again.
Given that you're quitting, of course.
My baby is right, Asim.
Don't you think
this is a good opportunity to quit now?
-This is no way to hit a small man.
-You hit me first.
This is all we ended up with.
The robber midget of Snow White.
So have a nice day.
Have a nice day.
He's running! Come here!
Where are you going?
Can we have a brief word?
What's that? Darling, our money!
Give me that. Is there more?
-No more.
-There must be more. Keep looking.
Go deeper.
The last one was my shroud money.
Your shroud won't cost much.
-Darling, our money is here.
-I don't want to touch that.
Perhaps you shouldn't have kissed it.
The money is still warm.
I got carried away there.
Well done, Bahadir.
Well done, son.
Thank you. Thank you, Dad.
Be blessed, son.
-Ms. Nazli!
-My dear!
-What's your name?
-Muko.
Give this jerk, Mr. Muko,
something to eat.
I told you I had a gang.
We were really vicious.
My only son
turned out to be an idiot, Vakkas.
I gave him all I could.
I raised him
on the most expensive baby food--
I used to drive to the countryside
every weekend to get him goat milk.
Turns out that goat milk
isn't that good, after all.
-I tried my best.
-Hello.
Wait. Here comes my tube of a son.
I'll hang up now. I'll call you later.
You're even cursing me
to people on the phone now, Dad?
Where have you been for days?
-I had work to do.
-Really? What work?
If I were to tell you now,
"Dad, I caught those men
and I got our money back,
I even got some interest on it."
-Right.
-For instance.
And then if I were to put
the brand-new bills on the table.
-What would you say?
-"Thank God!" That's what I'd say!
What else could I say? I'd take the money.
I'd take it in my arms and hug it!
You should hug your son, not the money.
Tell me, son, how did you do this?
Tell me.
How did I do it? A very good question.
The rebellious black singer Bob Marley
sings this line I like very much.
What is it?
-He says--
-Four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
11, 12, 13...
-You're not listening. Goodness.
-Fifteen, 16, 17...
Nazli, welcome!
-Lerzan, how are you?
-Oh, my baby is here!
Hello.
-I'm sweaty.
-It's all right.
-What brings you here?
-I brought you this.
Oh! Congratulations.
If you come,
I will assume you're quitting.
If you're not quitting, please don't come.
See you at the wedding.
Hopefully.
She spoke so briefly
yet so clearly. Right?
Yes, Lerzan, but...
if I leave this Asim behind
so late in my life, which Asim can I be?
A better one. A more beautiful one.
NAZLI AND BAHADIR
SANTIROGLU FAMILY
-Shall we start?
-He's not going to come.
Let's start.
Dear guests,
now I shall start the wedding ceremony.
-Your first and last name?
-Nazli Noyan.
-Your first and last name?
-Bahadir Temizel.
You informed our institution
of your intention to get married.
There is no legal obstacle
interfering with your intention.
If you would,
please declare your wish to be married
in front of guests and witnesses,
I will pronounce you husband and wife.
Of your own free will, do you accept
Bahadir Temizel as your husband?
Yes!
Do you accept Nazli Noyan as your wife?
Yes!
Bravo!
I pronounce you husband and wife.
Congratulations!
Who are these people?
These people are our family, my love.
Come here. Come.
I'll quit, dear.
I have a certain amount in mind.
Once I make that, I'll quit.
Oh, please, come on!
Yes, next week.
Next week.
What a disgrace this boy is!
You fat cylinder!
Where are you, my idiot of a son?
IN MEMORY OF ERDAL TOSUN
this is a breathtaking contest!
The winner will be the king of Istanbul!
To my right, Ronaldinho from the South!
And to my left, holding the Istanbul
Championship title for two years
Hezarfen Ahmet Celebi!
The bird performing the most tumbles
in a single throw wins.
Place your bets!
Final bets!
-Are we ready?
-We're ready!
First up, Ronaldhino!
-Come on!
-One!
-Come on!
-Two!
-Three!
-Come on!
Three tumbles by Ronaldhino!
Next up is Hezarfen!
One!
Two! Three!
Four!
Five!
Hezarfen wins!
That's it. The king of birds.
That's my boy.
Sir, what shall I do with Ziya?
Bring him in.
-After you.
-You're the visitor.
-Greetings, Ziya.
-Hello, Mr. Saruhan.
Listen to me.
There was a local
amateur league game this week
between Eskin Market Bayir Turban Spor
and Aksay Elektrik Yeknasankoy Spor...
What's up with these weird names?
You bet good money on these games.
Is that right?
That's right. What's the matter?
Listen, the situation here
is a rather interesting one.
The final score,
the scores of the first and second halves,
the scorers,
the taker of the first throw-in,
the first corner kick--
motherfucker, the first heartbeat--
how come you--
how come you know all that?
Mr. Saruhan, here's the situation.
I have this special gift.
How could you know the result
of the referee's coin toss?
I didn't even know we took bets on that.
-That's news to me.
-It's new. Very popular.
Okay, go on.
I swear on all your dead relatives
that it's my gift of prediction.
My friends and acquaintances
know all about it.
You know what it's like?
It's a God-given gift.
-A God-given gift, you say?
-When something's about to happen, I get--
something happens to me-- a feeling.
-Snap!
-Snap?
I get this thing, like a snap, and there.
"Snap"? Snap, he says.
Since you have this ability, Ziya,
you can perhaps guess
what will happen now, right?
Of course.
What will we do to you now?
I'd cry more but you won't believe me.
Nektar never believed me anyway.
Then you'll give me some time
and I'll walk out.
And I'll find the money
by tomorrow afternoon...
-and bring it to you.
-He really knows.
-Thank you.
-Get out.
Nektar, you get out. You stay.
Now, you've guessed it all.
But there's one thing you missed.
What's that?
-What could it be?
-If one man doesn't pay his debt...
nobody else will.
That's very well said.
Now, take a step back.
Step back.
Is this fine?
-Right.
-Don't stare at me. Get lost.
We were just joking.
Oh, my!
-Did you get it, darling?
-I got it.
Nazli looks beautiful.
-Come on.
-Hold it.
-Welcome!
-Hello. Welcome.
-Hello?
-Is this Bahadir Temizel?
Yes?
Bahadir, come on!
This is Police Chief Inspector
Hasan Barkucu.
Listen to me very carefully.
A serious civic, public and dangerous
situation related to you has arisen.
Dangerous? Related to me? How come?
Cooperate with us and we can resolve this.
But I must tell you, this is serious.
But I'm getting married today.
Leave your current location now.
Await instructions in a safe place.
And please hurry up!
Hurry! Your account is hacked.
We're talking about illegal money traffic.
Okay.
Yes, I can hear you now.
This operation is directed by the DA.
I'm putting you through to his secretary.
Sir, I'm putting you through to the DA.
-Have a nice day.
-What? DA?
Mr. Temizel, this is DA Ilhan Gundogan.
A prominent member of a terrorist
organization has been captured.
-He had your identity information.
-That's impossible, sir.
And I'm at the wedding hall right now.
-I'm getting married.
-Sir!
You don't get the gravity
of the situation.
You must follow my instructions.
Now, quietly leave your current location
and go out to the nearest main street.
Okay, but why can't I get married first?
Unless you carry out our instructions,
you may face a 36 years-to-life sentence
for being a member
of a terrorist organization.
Okay, I'm walking that way.
-Did you withdraw the money?
-I did, sir. In cash.
Good. Now, turn left.
Walk without drawing attention.
I turned left, sir.
My wife is on the other line.
Let me explain to her.
Don't do that!
This is a secret operation
and you're talking about your wife!
Don't attract attention. I'm telling you,
you may face a life sentence.
Okay, sir, I'm walking.
Sir, my battery is almost dead.
Given the importance of the operation,
let me charge it.
Let's not compromise anything.
No. Every second counts!
You're being pursued by the terrorists.
We must urgently conclude the operation.
-Now turn left.
-Okay.
-Walk quickly towards the back.
-Yes, sir.
-Now sit on the bench in front of you.
-Okay, sir.
-I'm sitting.
-Good.
Put the money on the bench and leave
as a shootout may ensue any moment.
Yes, sir.
But, sir, I have no money on me.
May I take some for the taxi fare?
-He wants the taxi fare.
-Let him take it.
No way.
No, sir.
Those bills are marked.
Leave the location.
Sir, my battery is almost...
dead.
There's the fish at the tea house.
I'm moving in to rip them off.
Wait for my sign. Be ready.
Let's assume we're dividing 1300 by 50.
-Is five smaller than 13?
-Of course it is, Dad.
There are two of them. Here is the math.
They're giving us more or less
the same price.
No, son. We bargain all the way.
Just grab the guy's arm and shake it
until he gives you the price you want.
We're buying iron, Dad, not sheep.
It was an example, you idiot.
-Are those my guys?
-Where's my hundred?
Have a nice day.
Hello, Tutku. What did the boss say?
Why should we keep out surplus iron?
The storage is costly, just sell it.
Someone much more important is calling
on the other line, I must hang up.
Nobody is calling, actually,
I said that just to hang up.
-Sorry?
-As a joke, Dad.
The gentleman hung up sarcastically
to dismiss the person on the other end.
-Right.
-Well said.
I couldn't have put it so well myself.
You described it so well.
Semih Erken from Bezirgan Construction.
-Ihsan Kulunc.
-Semih Erken.
Naim Kulunc.
I'm very sorry.
I'm still boiling with anger.
Really? What happened?
All the preparations were done,
we were ready to start.
The general director got replaced.
Then came the elections, allowances
stopped, we got a one-year deferral.
-That's a shame.
-We ended up with tons of goods.
-Right.
-I don't mean to meddle,
but it makes no sense
to keep the goods for a whole year.
If you'd like to sell,
you have a buyer here.
-Right, Dad?
-Wait a moment, son.
Don't jump straight in.
The boss isn't selling it anyway.
I vote for selling.
I say, rather than 2000 a ton,
let's just get rid of it for 1500.
But he won't listen.
Why don't we go
and speak to your boss, then?
He'll listen to my dad. Won't he, Dad?
We might be interested
if we can get a good discount.
Like... 1300.
-1400.
-Deal.
See? I got the discount right away.
Say, "A great deal, Dad!"
Yes. It's a deal, right?
Shall we see the boss?
Not today.
The boss likes to spend his Fridays
on his boat with his friends,
and doesn't want to be disturbed.
Good thing it's Wednesday.
Wednesday. Right, it's Wednesday.
The boss likes to spend his Wednesdays
on his boat with his friends,
and doesn't want to be disturbed
under any circumstance. No way.
That's a shame.
If the boss tells me off,
I need you to back me up, okay?
-Of course, sir, don't worry.
-This is a "doziac," isn't it?
It's called a "Zodiac," Dad.
It has a mechanism that uses inflated air.
I'm not selling it. I can't. I won't.
Sir, don't you always say,
"Don't do business
if you can't turn assets
to money on time"?
These boys are so good at sniping at me
with my own words.
Don't say that.
What was that one the other day,
about salmon?
-Salmon?
-A friend from Norway
sent me some caviar recently. Red caviar.
I said to him,
"You didn't give me a loaf of bread
when I was poor.
I don't need your salmon now."
That's very well said.
Sometimes a piece of dry bread
is worth much more
compared to more expensive food.
That's what I think you meant.
Well said, son.
You distilled the moral of the story
so well.
What's your name, young man?
Naim, sir.
He's my son.
I don't know about him.
Perhaps he's been worn down by age,
but the kid is smart.
Give a young entrepreneur like him
some rocks,
and he can squeeze them,
and sell what comes out as spring water.
This kid will succeed.
-Have you eaten it before?
-What, sir?
Salmon caviar.
No, sir. Never had the opportunity.
But I've heard about it.
Amazing.
This is what it must be like to be smart,
lucky and overweight.
Bring the caviar. I like this kid.
Let's make Naim's day!
Give him some caviar to eat
and play the music. Turn it up!
Come on!
Come here, Ihsan!
Wonderful... wonderful.
Wonderful. Wonderful.
Naim, as soon as you transfer the money
to our account, all the iron is yours.
Right, I'll do it online.
-I'm on it.
-Great.
Look, Dad, online banking.
I think...
gold will be the best investment, I think.
Am I wrong?
I don't think I can think
that you can think something wrong.
Your heart is as beautiful
as your appearance, you know that?
Thank you, sweetheart.
You go to this page.
Here's the account number he gave us.
Copy. Paste.
-That's where I fail.
-Just hold it down.
-There it goes. I've transferred it.
-Congratulations.
-Is the transfer done?
-Yes. You have it.
Okay, hang up.
If you're ready, I'll count down.
Three, two, one.
FUNDS AVAILABLE IN YOUR ACCOUNT
Here it is.
-Wish you the best.
-Bless you.
-Take care, sir. See you.
-God bless you.
He's smiling now that he got the discount.
-That's my dad! Bye.
-See you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
-Hello, sir.
-Hello?
I think there's a problem.
What's the problem?
You haven't sent the money yet, sir.
No way! Of course we have.
Tell him that we transferred the money.
We transferred, sir.
See, here's the receipt.
Here is the account number. It's all here.
That's not our number.
-What do you mean?
-How come?
-Where's the man who made the order?
-Which man?
-Ask him, son. Which man?
-Which man?
That young man, Mr. Talip.
Wait a minute. Sir, Mr. Erken came here.
He said this was their account.
We did as he said. We sent the money.
-Who is Mr. Erken?
-The young man.
-That is Mr. Talip.
-Is Talip young, too?
That's strange.
Hello, Ms. Gulsen.
-What's going on?
-They say they sent the money.
But it's not in our account. Can we do...
When he told me to leave
the wedding hall, I left,
following the instructions of the DA, I--
Still saying "the DA."
Well, according
to the instructions of people
purported to be in the DA's office,
I withdrew the money from the bank.
-And then, at Sirkeci Park--
-Can I please step out?
-Of course.
-Thank you.
-Jeweler?
-Yes, sir.
It appears that you bought gold, not iron.
No, sir. We bought iron.
-Tell him, son. Say, "We bought iron."
-We bought iron, sir, not gold.
You sent the money to a jeweler.
How is that?
You bought gold.
No, sir. We trade in iron.
Why would we buy iron from a jeweler?
Tell him, son,
we bought from an iron trader.
Wait a minute, Dad.
This is a well-known trick,
it's called "baiting the fish."
They don't use a bank account,
they use the jeweler.
Right.
Baiting.
Naim, where is the money?
The men bought gold with it, Dad.
Right. Where is the iron?
The owner took it back.
So where is the gold?
The men ran away with it, Dad.
Which men?
Dad, I'm begging you, stop that!
Those men defrauded us!
You...
you ate the fish poop,
you drank the alcohol,
and you fucked us up.
Son of a gun!
Get out of here! You tube of a boy!
You fat tube!
Where are you going by yourself?
The lawyer didn't sound very hopeful.
We may find the men but there's
little chance of finding the money.
Such guys would say
they spent the money.
I'll go after them myself if need be.
I'll slap you myself now!
-You'll hit me?
-I should have earlier.
Please shut up.
You messed up. Be quiet.
Okay, you're right.
But I'll fix the mess I've made.
Those jerks will pay me back
with interest.
Watch your mouth and shut up!
Just stop speaking!
-Okay, darling.
-Don't say that either.
-Just shut up completely!
-I said okay!
If you had shut up after saying that,
I would have, too!
I wouldn't have spoken if you hadn't.
-Saying "I shut up," doesn't mean talking.
-Bahadir, enough!
You're shouting at a man
who has to shut up.
Still talking.
Pokemon!
Shoot!
That's it!
Blond Saruhan?
That's the man you owe money to?
I called the folks at the village,
they won't overdo it next time.
A fixed match should end 2-1.
Just get that.
I have a new place.
I'll double down the money.
I'll make that money,
and I'll pay back my debt to Saruhan.
-There you go.
-Or they will fuck you up.
-Exactly.
-What?
-Hit it!
-I can't get the ball!
-Bravo!
-Well done, my brother!
Asim, you have a visitor.
Visitor? And you let them right in?
They're insiders already.
What do you mean?
-Puyol.
-Okay.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Can we have a word, Dad?
I wonder how I could have created
such a beautiful thing.
I mean, I know it comes
from your late mother.
How haven't I spoiled such beauty?
Don't worry.
You've spoiled the rest of our lives.
Anyway, I'm not here to talk about that.
-What are you here for?
-We're in trouble.
-We've been defrauded.
-What?
During the wedding ceremony.
Wedding? What wedding?
My wedding.
You got married?
No, when those men did this--
-What men?
-The men who defrauded us.
Tell me now! Who defrauded whom?
Marriage? With who?
You know the guys who call people
on the phone?
They say, "terrorists hacked your phone"
or whatever.
And? You fell for that trick?
Asim Noyan's daughter fell for that trick?
Not me.
-Bahadir did.
-Who is Bahadir?
My prospective husband.
Oh, my. Listen to the words
coming out of your mouth.
How old is that mouth to be able to say
"prospective" and "husband"?
How can you marry
without telling your father?
And you're too young, Nazli.
I'm 24, Dad.
That's young!
I came because I have no one to go to.
Will you help us?
-So?
-So, I wonder
if you can still talk to your father
so coldly after seeing this.
I've written your name on my heart, dear,
inside and out.
Help you? I will die for you!
Put your shirt on, Dad.
"Prospective."
-You should've stayed to eat.
-I only have two hours off from work.
Don't worry about the money.
We'll take care of it.
We've just finished a nice job,
but we spent the money,
and the guys are all in debt.
-Give me two weeks.
-No, Dad.
We don't want stolen money.
We want our own money.
I promised Mom
I wouldn't take anything from you.
-He thinks you're a doctor.
-Who?
-Bahadir.
-You told him so?
You should've said I freelance.
I just made it up when we first met.
Anyway, I'll take care of it.
Listen, Nazli, I know you were very angry
with me back then.
And you still are.
But I was there, you know that.
I waited at the hospital for days,
they wouldn't let me in.
The boys were even going to steal a liver
from another hospital.
But we gave up
because your mother would pester us.
You fooled us time after time.
You said you'd quit crime but never did.
You wore my mother down
more than the cancer.
Those are terrible words.
Ludvinka, why don't you answer the phone?
Did I dial the wrong code for Bulgaria?
Naim.
-Yes, Dad?
-Come here.
-You are...
-I am...
-Listen.
-Yes.
-A son like...
-A son like...?
-A son like you...
-Like...
-A son like you...
-A son like me, yes...
A son like me? What, Dad?
Mother.
Mother.
Mother. Yes?
-Fuc...
-Fuck...
Dad, you're exhausting yourself!
Stop exhausting yourself.
Honey, it didn't work the first time.
Why did you insist on having a kid?
To hell with your test tube baby!
See, here's the result.
Such harsh words to speak to your own son.
He killed his own twin in the womb.
What an idiot!
You robbed me blind.
This is the result. The half-wit.
-Where are you going?
-Never mind. You just rest.
Where are you going, tube boy?
It's not like you asked for my opinion.
There's nothing wrong
with test tube babies. Everyone has them.
Hello, buddy. How are you?
Wow, buddy! What brought you here?
I missed you.
They got the gold from the jeweler
and got lost.
My dad never hurt me once in my life,
and he slapped me on the back of my neck.
I can't believe that, buddy.
I'm like a dead man walking now, buddy.
What?
I said I'm like a dead man walking now.
How can we find these men?
Wait. Don't worry.
I know someone who can help you.
He's our customer,
and he's a very nice person,
and he loves our sandwiches.
So does everyone else.
Sometimes more people line up
than we can serve.
We can't serve them
but they line up anyway.
You really think so?
Can they really solve my problem?
Of course, it's their job.
But I get part of the money.
Sure. It's all for profit, after all.
-Hey, get back to work!
-Coming!
-The bread's getting cold.
-I'm coming.
I'll have one more. This tastes so good.
Caviar has nothing on this.
Gentlemen, these are the fastest roaches
in history!
Usain Bolt was here yesterday.
He quit the sport after seeing them.
Place your bets!
What kind of place is this?
Don't worry, I know this place well.
I don't even understand
where we are right now.
-Just follow me.
-Number one,
number two, three, four, five.
Are you ready?
That's a spooky door.
-Greetings, Unal.
-Welcome.
One, two, three, go!
Five makes a good start,
ahead of the pack.
Three keeps on running.
Number one turns on the jets!
A great run!
Three is coming up from behind.
Number five comes right along.
Number three continues.
Almost catching up!
Three is in the lead!
Number three wins!
After a great burst!
-What's this? They're racing roaches?
-Yeah. Once a week.
-An extraordinary match.
-My goodness.
These are not our traditions. What's this?
I feel sick and weird.
-He thought about this in person.
-Does this place smell?
We're starting the second round.
Three, two, one, go!
Enjoy your meal, sir.
We transferred the money
when we saw the goods.
How could we have known?
And worse, my dad didn't know
I had taken the money from a loan shark.
He thought it was our money.
What happened to your own money?
I spent it pursuing a romance, sir.
She called me from Bulgaria.
She said she was in a tough situation.
We started getting along
as we talked, but--
I've always wondered
who falls for this trick.
This guy.
Oh, boy.
I fell in love with a cruel woman.
I spent all the money.
How's your father?
He's not doing good. He's sick in bed.
And he's been berating me
with some harsh words.
-Have you complained?
-How could I, sir?
He's my father, after all.
I try to be patient with him.
He means the police.
When my buddy told me about the matter,
I thought I'd bring him to you.
We're at your mercy here, sir.
We'll compensate you for your expenses
as soon as we get the money.
Now, it's true that I'm allergic
to robbers, degenerates--
such filthy men.
But I'm absolutely against the kind
of violence that involves beating a man
who doesn't deserve a beating.
-Am I right?
-Right, sir.
But you do beat a man
who deserves it, right?
Of course.
We'll take care of this.
-But I have a request, sandwich man.
-Of course. What is it?
I want you to give your friend
a heavy slap.
A slap?
-Yes.
-Why?
Don't you think a man
who has wasted his father's money...
with Bulgarian women
deserves a good slap?
-I see.
-No.
No. I mean a level higher than that.
It was actually a level below that one,
but anyway...
-Why slap me harder than he wanted?
-How could I get it just right?
-Come on!
-Did it hurt?
When you slap a man that hard, it hurts!
Is the patient's relative nearby?
Is the patient's relative with him?
What's so hard to understand?
Take him out.
They secretly feed the patient!
All right.
Hello.
-Nazli, it's good to see you.
-Let me kiss your hand.
-Hello.
-Hello. Sit down.
Let me introduce you. My father, Dr. Asim.
-Bahadir.
-Associate professor, but it's okay.
No problem.
We've finally met. It's a pleasure, sir.
I'm rather surprised, actually,
about my daughter's untimely decision
to get married...
without letting me know.
We may have drifted apart for a while
but I'm her father, after all.
So I can say this has traumatized me.
Can we get to the actual subject?
We don't want to keep you busy.
I believe we are
right on the actual subject, my dear.
Sir, I was very curious to meet you.
I'm glad the strife between you is over,
or is at least coming to an end
on this occasion.
-How old are you?
-Twenty-nine, sir.
Twenty-nine is not an age. That's 30.
You're middle-aged.
You're that old and you fell for a trick
that not even a child would fall for.
Law enforcement sends everyone
warning messages all the time
to warn people against such fraud.
I delete such bulk messages
without reading them.
-If you don't read them, they'll...
-Dad!
...rob you blind. They robbed him blind.
If you'd fallen for a better rehearsed,
more subtle fraud, I wouldn't have minded.
No need to talk about this.
Say you'll help us
and Bahadir will calm down.
He keeps saying he'll go after them.
-Oh, my.
-Of course I'll go after them.
I'll get our money back.
They'll see that they've met their match
once their match hits them back.
Bahadir, enough.
No. You can't do anything illegal.
If everyone were to do
their own punishing, where's the law?
Where's the order? Where?
I have a social circle consisting
of people in very high places. She knows.
She doesn't visit me
but she knows about my friends.
-You're right.
-I know all sorts of people.
The governor, the police commissioner,
the private secretary...
human resources.
They're all a phone call away, thank God.
They'll do what needs to be done.
They'll prioritize our file.
-We'll take care of it. You just wait.
-You see, Bahadir?
It's settled. Dad will take care of it.
Why don't you get a cup of tea?
My lips got dry.
Did you drink that or blow into it?
I couldn't tell.
It's latte. It's foamy.
It's noisy as well.
Dad.
I'll find those men
and I'll get the money back.
Nobody can deceive Asim Noyan's daughter.
You can't "nutmeg" Ronaldo.
I'll take care of this.
But on one condition.
-What's that?
-Leave that man.
Don't get married.
Especially not to that guy.
He isn't a man to marry.
He's a man to con.
It was an awful idea to ask you for help.
Forget everything we've said.
I didn't come here to see you.
Didn't you see how he drank the latte?
He blew air into it.
You shouldn't be so impulsive at this age.
One can settle every matter by talking.
Bahadir, let's go.
-See you, sir.
-Goodbye, Bahadir.
-What happened?
-Nothing. Let's go.
Children are the hardest question in life.
Why do daughters grow up?
Fathers should get fucking younger.
-Hayri, what's up?
-Fine.
We're looking for some phone tricksters.
We have all kinds of shit going on here
but I haven't heard of that before.
I see, Tayfun.
-See you around.
-Hayri. Why didn't you pay?
Give me some.
GÅ°LOMBAYIR ASSOCIATION
FOR FRIENDSHIP AND SOCIALIZING
Some con men come here,
but they do small jobs-- sweepstakes guys.
"You won. Send us 300 TL
and get your iPad." That kind of thing.
They ask an easy question on the phone.
Like, "What is the square root of 36?"
Is that an easy question?
It's just an example, Pokemon.
Where's this Gűlombayir?
Beats me. You expect the boss
to write "Gambling Den"?
-So there's no such place.
-No, but we have a lot of townsmen.
-This place is full every day.
-Thanks, Sanchez.
-Let us know if you hear anything.
-Will do, buddy.
Come on.
Oh. Hello, girls.
-What's up, Damla?
-I'm Cagla.
-Asim, how are you?
-Fine. You know me.
What about you, honey?
-It's the usual. I work. I go to the gym.
-Jim? Who's Jim?
Nobody. I mean, I exercise.
-You're really something. See you around.
-See you.
-What?
-Honey.
Is it a problem that I don't speak
in my mother tongue?
If I see you flirting with sluts again,
I'll cut out your tongue.
She's not a slut. She has a BA degree.
-Oh? How do you know that?
-How do you know she's a slut?
I didn't see a diploma
but I saw her ass.
Wow, look who's here.
What's up, old man?
Like a bullet since the bypass surgery.
They built an expressway through my heart.
It's brand new.
I bet not everyone can ride
now that it's a toll road.
It wasn't free before either, Lerzan.
How are you, pretty eyes?
Your friend is cruising.
He calls sluts "honey."
-Asim Noyan did that? I can't believe it.
-And your friend here pesters.
I'll go freshen up, "honey."
Sorry.
They hurt my dear Nazli, my friend.
I need to find those men.
I read about that on the Internet, Asim.
The headline was, "Goofy Groom."
And I thought, "Who's that idiot?"
So he was your--?
That's what gets me.
Who cares about the robbers?
It turns out I have an idiot
for a son-in-law.
So they conned the daughter
of the master con man.
And the Internet
will be talking about them
when the master gets to them.
The place is looking great.
-Knock on wood, girl.
-Of course.
And give me that phone you just grabbed.
Let's make the owner's day.
I can't believe you saw that.
I'd like to take a selfie
with the grand master.
I quit this game at the top.
I advise you two to do the same.
Quit the organized schemes, Asim.
Find something you can make for five bucks
and sell for 50. That's it.
I'm confused here. Are you telling us
to stop stealing or to keep on?
He's saying, "Cut down on it."
I'll get you some sushi with yogurt.
It's the latest trend in town.
What's sushi with yogurt?
So you don't know them?
Look.
This is just the kind of thing
that gets on my nerves.
What? Let's say there's this guy.
That guy has some information
he doesn't want to tell us.
In such a case...
my brother Nektar
wants to resort to violence.
"Let's shoot him, beat him, crush him."
But in fact...
people get along by talking.
I say something nice to you...
you say something nice to me.
And he tells me something nice. You see?
We get faster results when we shoot,
that's why.
Sir, I told you. I don't know those men.
They wired the money
and we gave them gold.
-Here are the photos.
-Give me those.
-Here. These are from the security camera.
-Come here.
See if these folks are those folks.
No, sir. I don't know these men.
-You don't know them?
-No, sir.
-Call her.
-She speaks so coldly to me.
-It's getting on my nerves.
-So warm her up.
Tell her you have no conditions.
Just say something.
-But I do have conditions.
-Okay, I have a better idea.
Fine, call her. Let "the freezer" speak.
-What are you reading?
-I'm reading the news, "Goofy Groom."
-Hello?
-Nazli? Hello, dear.
It's Lerzan Berrak.
That is, I'm Dr. Asim's wife, Inci.
Oh, hello, Ms. Inci.
-Who's that?
-My father's wife.
-Give her my regards.
-So how are you?
I'm fine, thanks. How about you?
I'm fine. Listen.
Why don't we all go out
for dinner tomorrow?
-Dinner?
-Dinner?
I don't know.
Let me first ask Bahadir.
By the way, your dad sends you kisses.
And greetings to Mr. Balamir.
-Okay, I'll tell Bahadir.
-Oh-- right.
Bahadir.
So I'll send you
the place and time right now.
It's going to be great. Kisses.
-That's it.
-Well done, "Bahadir."
-Here you go.
-Oh, that's nice.
No.
Listen, handsome. You know this guy?
-Hello.
-I don't remember seeing him, sir.
-Turn him.
-What?
Sir.
Turn him around.
Let him face me. That's it.
Look again now. Do you know this guy?
You don't have to do this.
We can talk upright.
Do you know how many coffee boys
suffer concussions after being turned
upside down and dropped like that?
I don't know, sir.
None. But you'll be the first.
They defrauded us here in front of you.
And that man spoke to you first
when he came in.
I remember now.
-I'll tell. Turn me back.
-Blood goes to the brain.
Right. Good. Let him go.
I meant, turn him around
and then, let him go.
-To hell with your--
-Sorry, sir.
Why did you do that?
God give me patience.
There's too many appetizers.
The main course is still to come.
Just leave the salad. The rest can go.
It's okay. He'll come to his senses.
Take away those appetizers.
Thanks.
-I want sea breams. Not farm-grown.
-Sure. Come with me.
-I quit swearing, smart guy.
-That's for the best, sir.
You're getting into strange habits,
old man.
You're into fishing now?
It's not about the fish.
I'm killing time, Asim.
-I feed the gulls if I catch anything.
-Take from the sea, give to the poor.
Something like that.
So, what about the news?
There's this guy, a regular at our place,
Sitki Besnici.
Luckily, he stopped by.
He knows every hole in the city.
He knows all the rats.
What does he do?
People say he works for the police,
but I think he works for himself.
He knows everyone.
But nobody knows him.
But when he sits down with you,
he blathers on forever.
What's the driving force
behind the economy? Needs.
What is it that determines our needs?
Our urges.
And who guides these urges?
The advertisers, the media,
the chain of markets.
What does the market do to us?
It turns things we don't need
into things we need.
In fact, that's part of human nature.
Animals are the same way.
Baboons, for example.
What do baboons eat? Bananas.
But they'll grab that water
from the tourist's bag.
It's their own habitat.
How do you communicate with the baboon?
You showed him the water.
Now he fancies it.
He's a monkey, and he's right.
Am I wrong?
About those phone tricksters--
Like smartphones.
Give it to some idiot and before long,
it will turn as dumb as an ashtray.
But in the hands of cunning people,
it becomes a weapon.
There seems to be a consensus
between the trickster and the tricked.
The caller exerts authoritarian pressure
upon the person called.
It's like stealing the child within him.
You know the story of the boy
who cried wolf?
Is that shepherd a psycho?
What does shrimp mean to you?
Life is very much like football,
as they say.
Perhaps the shepherd had the spirit
of a fireman and gave the folks a drill.
Sea urchins do the same
but they're innocent.
Nobody knows that.
There's a gang disguised
as dried fruit dealers.
They pull all sorts of tricks.
They commit all sorts of genital
and digital fraud under that guise.
-Genital?
-Visual provocation and blackmail.
This is where the genital
and the digital are intertwined.
They cause the victim to have an erection
through various means.
And then they establish his location
and blackmail him.
Do you believe in horoscopes? I don't.
The environment a person grows up in
is what constitutes his identity.
For example, they say
Taurus and Cancer get along well.
You don't see such a thing in nature.
It won't work in human relationships.
I'm divorcing my fourth wife again.
I'm a Cancer
and the fourth wife is a Taurus.
All four were Tauruses. What's your sign?
-Virgo.
-I've always wanted to be a Virgo.
-So he bored you to death?
-He took hours to tell me an address.
I appreciate that, old man.
-Are you getting along with your daughter?
-Sure, she's fond of me now.
Who isn't fond of you?
She's like a block of ice
that I can't melt.
-She's like her late mother.
-May she rest in peace.
-"First, quit this shady work," she says.
-And what do you say?
I can't find anything to say, my friend.
See you later. Thank you.
OPEN
CLOSED
-Greetings.
-Hello.
-Is this Wet Huseyin's store?
-It's "Rat," not "Wet."
Some rats are wet.
What do you want?
-Let us go inside.
-What?
Inside.
What is this you're drinking,
for God's sake?
What is this?
Leave it, Pokemon.
Prepaid cards, phones.
Looks like you're well equipped.
Someone ripped off the groom
at the wedding hall. Was it you?
-We don't know about that.
-We have nothing to do with that.
We did some shady work a while ago,
but now we sell dried fruits.
-So who is Huseyin?
-This is Huseyin, sir.
-Was it you who did that job?
-Speak.
-Say something.
-Pokemon.
Who are we talking to here? Speak!
I'm talking to you! Talk to me now!
Okay, I'll tell you.
It was the work of the Gebes Family,
Taci Gebes.
They've been boasting about it,
since it's been in the news.
Where are these people?
There's a hookah place
where they hang out called Hisargile.
If you're giving us false information,
I'll visit you again with Pokemon.
No, sir. It's right.
I don't know their address
but I'll let you know when they come.
-Promise?
-I promise, sir.
-Give me a hundred.
-Why?
Just give it to me.
Look, boy. You keep this hundred.
Keep your word, be our friend
and you'll get another hundred.
-But if you don't...
-My hand.
Serbulent.
Serbulent!
Take these nuts. Eat them hot.
-Why did I give you that money?
-Don't worry. I took it back.
-So give it back to me.
-It's not yours. It's his.
Right. He got it from the tea boy.
Tea boy? Give my money back.
You sons of bitches, give money back.
Ariza!
I said, "Who do you think
you're talking to?"
Understand who you're talking to.
I said...
"I had a patient who was presumed dead
and I sent him skiing in two weeks."
She knows.
He was almost dead when I saw him.
Fifteen days later, he was skiing.
He sends me snowballs
every once in a while.
He means he sends him postcards.
-You keep pursing those lips.
-I started off like that, so...
Now, listen to me.
I called almost all of my friends
in high places.
They're looking into the matter.
Hopefully we'll be solving this
very shortly. Cheers.
There's only one way to find those men.
I've done some research.
There are these thugs.
You go and ask them.
They find the tricksters for a price.
They even beat them if you want.
-No.
-Which is what I'd personally prefer.
No way.
You've said that before.
I don't endorse that at all.
What about order?
What about the rule of law?
You don't know what it feels like
to be conned.
How can we know?
We've never conned anyone.
-He means we are never conned.
-Right?
They embarrassed me in front of everyone,
especially the woman I love.
I'm filled with resentment, Nazli.
I'm itching for vengeance.
But vengeance is no good, Balamir.
You'll end up hurting yourself.
-It's Bahadir, Ms. Inci.
-Oh, sorry, dear.
Listen, just relax and wait.
Those men will bring back the money.
That is how it will play out. Don't worry.
They will help things play out this way.
Thank you. We'd like to thank you
in advance, sir.
This distant attitude of yours,
those formal words, drive me crazy.
It gets on my nerves.
So, Nazli.
When you grew up,
you saw that I wasn't the lovable man
you thought I was, right?
But don't forget.
There's nothing I love more than you
and that will never change.
-You should know that.
-Nazli.
Forgive me for asking, but what is it
you don't like about these people?
He spoke such beautiful words.
My late father never said
such beautiful words to me.
Don't worry. You'll dislike him
when you know him.
-Oh, no.
-Come on.
My father-in-law is a doctor
who sent a dead man skiing.
-Cheers, sir.
-Cheers, dear.
Mom! Oh, Mom! Help! Someone help us!
-Please, someone call a doctor!
-They need a doctor, sir.
Let's wait. Maybe there's another doctor.
I wouldn't want to rush to grab the case.
For God's sake,
isn't there a doctor here? Mom!
Here he is.
The best doctor in the world here.
-Don't say that.
-Mom, lie down.
Oh, fuck.
-Please, help.
-Who is the patient?
-I'm a doctor. What's wrong?
-Something's wrong.
-I don't know.
-She's lying down.
Lift her legs.
Help blood run to her brain.
Let's lift her legs.
Help blood run to her brain.
Lift her legs. Not like that.
Don't grunt like that. Try to breathe.
-Should we do cardiac massage?
-Well said.
That's the kind of smart patient relative
that we like.
-Massage--
-Press down.
Breasts? No way.
There. Let's find a way to the heart.
And one! And two!
Perhaps it's better not to count?
-She's dying.
-Madam.
Take a deep breath, madam.
Get up.
One, two, three.
-She swallowed a plum.
-Bravo!
Thank you.
The lady was having
a non-swallowing related spasm.
-Thankfully, I solved the problem.
-Here you are.
Thank you.
-Now, I'll deliver a nice speech.
-Let's hear it.
You see, sometimes, a sad event
can give way to such nicety.
Nicety? What do you mean?
Something bad happens,
but that bad thing
leads to something good.
I want that to be called "nicety."
-Let's call it that.
-And dear Bahadir,
my father has never spoken nice words
to my face, or to my back, either.
So I'll now raise a toast to the lovers,
and those who don't disappoint
their loved ones.
-"Honey"!
-I see.
Cheers.
-I told you it was going to be nice.
-You did, but--
-Bravo! I think it was excellent.
-And there's more, dear Balamir.
Now it's time to dance. Let's go.
Nazli, come on.
Doctor! VJ, play "Doctor!"
Doctor, find a cure for my troubles!
Doctor, find a cure for my troubles
I can't get enough of her
Give me my medicine
Morning, night, before each meal...
Balamir!
I want her by my side every moment
Ariza, there's new fish at the tea house.
Wait to hear from me.
-Are those my folks?
-Yes.
-Here's your hundred.
-No need. This one's on me.
-Really?
-Okay, give it to me.
Hello, Tutku. What's the situation?
Let's just sell it.
Let's just sell it for 1500 a ton
and be done with it, right?
Someone important is on the other line.
I must hang up.
Nobody is calling on the other line.
I said that just to hang up.
May I sit down? I'm Semih Erken.
Hello, sir. Do you remember me?
I don't seem to recall you. Sorry?
Have a nice morning, Tumbling Ziya.
That's Ziya.
-What are you doing here?
-Saruhan, you--
This place--
I can't believe this.
I was just about to ask you for more time
to pay my debt.
This is such a coincidence.
-Was it you who conned this man?
-Sir, this is the man. Positive.
-I swear on all your dead relatives--
-Man.
If you ever...
If you ever swear
on my dead relatives again...
your whole life,
the municipality you're registered to,
and your whole family-- oh, man.
Man!
My ear.
Look, I quit swearing, you know that?
You understand? I quit swearing.
I promised my girlfriend not to swear.
But not swearing is very hard.
-It's very hard not to swear. Got that?
-Yes.
Don't make me break my oath.
But you're such a mother-- oh, man.
Sir, it's the police!
Mother--
-He ran away, didn't he?
-Yes, sir.
Step back.
I'm biting my tongue not to swear at you.
And you bite yours
as if I had sworn heavily at you.
-Yes, sir.
-Get in! Get in the car.
You deserve a beating! You're six meters
tall and trying not to run!
Smart boy, get in.
Hello, I'd like to speak to Dr. Asim.
-Who?
-Dr. Asim Noyan. Associate Professor.
-We don't have a doctor by that name.
-You don't?
-We don't.
-I met him here the day before.
-How could I meet him if he doesn't exist?
-I'm sure he exists but not here.
He's not listed.
-I see.
-Have a healthy day!
Have a nice day.
What's up? Where's Nazli?
She's at the register.
-Hello.
-What's up, Goofy Groom?
I'm fine, big mouth!
-How are you?
-Why did you come here?
I went to the hospital.
-What hospital?
-The one where we met your father.
And?
I asked for your father.
They said he wasn't there.
-Why not?
-I don't know.
I said he was
an associate professor. But no.
Why did you go there?
-To ask him for money.
-For what?
To pay the advance--
to make a deal with some thugs. As a loan.
-What thugs? You'll drive me crazy.
-What am I supposed to do?
-Just wait with my hands tied?
-Yes. What else can you do?
We're not going to do anything.
The thugs will.
-We'll just pay them.
-To hell with your thugs!
Bahadir, I have customers waiting.
Go on. We'll talk later.
I don't know, Dad. I was shocked.
I didn't know what to say.
He went to the hospital out of the blue.
He was going to ask you
to lend him money to give to thugs.
Such nonsense.
And they told him
that there was no such doctor.
What shall I tell him?
What if he figures it out?
He wants to come and talk to you.
Okay.
Talk to you later. I have to go now.
Think of it this way.
If my father hadn't made me marry
an alcoholic beast,
and the man hadn't beaten me
on the first night,
and I hadn't ran away,
and started working at a gambling den,
I'd have never met your father.
-So?
-So...
the lesser evil is good for us.
And your dad is the kindest of all evils.
Or we're stuck with the worst.
Playing doctor is always a risky lie.
You should've made up a freelance job
like a businessman or a trader.
Sorry, Dad.
I'm not as good a liar as you are.
Good, my dear.
You shouldn't try to be, anyway.
And this father of yours
wouldn't even look at me when I was fat.
-How did we get to this now?
-As soon as I lost 19 kilos,
his attitude suddenly changed--
"Don't call me brother," and so on.
Okay, I give up. Call me brother.
No way. You know what your father is like.
So I stopped saying that.
Don't worry, my dear. We'll find a way.
No, Dad. We won't find a way.
Everyone is fooling the poor man.
Including me.
-But this will be solved in three days.
-Dad, please.
Don't you see? Lies can't fix anything.
But you have liars' disease.
It's not a disease, dear.
It's my profession.
Take a look around and see
if I'm the only one
whose profession is lying.
-But you're the best at it.
-Don't say that.
No, you are.
Are you boasting about this?
We're not boasting.
I don't defend what he does.
-But he's the best.
-No, there were great ones before.
Like my master.
That guy could take the underwear
beneath your trousers.
I never knew him.
But how about your doctor impression?
It's like character play,
like an impersonation.
I'm getting goosebumps. Bravo.
It was a bad idea.
I should've never come to you.
It's all right.
I don't work at the hospital.
-I go there for occasional operations.
-There he goes again. But that's great.
All right, Dad.
It's over.
I came to you and I became you.
It was my mistake to come here.
And now I'll fix it.
I'll tell Bahadir the truth.
-Goodbye.
-Nazli, don't be silly.
Nazli. Hello.
What are you doing here?
What is this place?
-Bahadir.
-Baha-- Bahadir!
I can't believe we met here.
What brings you here?
What a surprise, isn't it, Inci?
Enthusiasm for cars.
Ms. Inci and I hang out here
in our spare time to chill out.
It's a special place. It helps us relax.
Dad, stop. I'll tell him the truth.
The truth? What truth?
I was just coming to you
to tell you everything.
I knew my father wasn't a doctor.
-You did?
-Yes, I made that up.
So, what does he do if he's not a doctor?
-My father is a--
-An associate professor.
-He's a con man.
-What?
Yes.
Hello, brother.
What? What do you mean?
Wait a minute. Now I get it.
It was you from the start.
-On the phone and so on.
-See, the idiot figured it all out.
-So you were in this all along?
-No, Bahadir. Don't be silly.
Yes, you were!
Your father is a con man, you're a liar!
-He treated that woman that night.
-Bahadir, please listen.
I want to drop dead right now.
How could you do this to me?
How could you do it? For the money?
-Bahadir!
-Shame on you!
Shame on you!
Wait a minute, listen to me!
It's not like you think, Bahadir!
Bahadir!
That's what you get
for telling the truth, dear.
Get your hands off me!
I never want to see your face again!
-Never!
-Nazli, please don't do that.
Oh, no.
Brother Uzeyir.
If you had been here now, we'd have had
a great time sitting quietly together.
Lots of jerks around talking nonsense
while the men we can sit quietly with
are dying one by one.
I wish such a poem had been written.
It would be nice, right?
BACK IN THE DAY, I SPOKE A LOT.
IT WAS NO GOOD FOR ME, AND I QUIT.
How could I forget?
What do you think?
We checked its blood pressure.
It's a nice one. It's smoking hot.
Shall we go for a drive?
I've been thinking,
perhaps we should do as Kerami said
and quit this thing
and open a store or something.
-A store?
-Yes.
God has given you a gift.
You found your daughter after years.
Don't you think
this is an opportunity to quit?
She said "never." Twice!
She says she doesn't want
to see my face again. Never!
This girl scolds me like no one else has.
Baby, that tattoo on your chest
is really beautiful.
But it doesn't make you a father.
Loving is not enough.
What else should I do?
You need to say it.
You need to show your love.
If you tell Nazli you'll quit,
and if we really quit, that could work.
We can go down south.
We could open a seaside restaurant.
What an original project.
We can buy fish for five and sell for 50.
We'll take Nazli and Bahadir.
We'd both get pregnant.
You'll have both a child and a grandchild.
Is that original enough?
It's too original. It's disgusting.
You must be considering
getting married someday.
That's a subject I prefer
to keep my mouth shut about.
-You're a real heartbreaker.
-But I have an analytical side, too.
Hello.
You made the garden
look like an amusement park.
-I kept calling. Why don't you answer?
-I don't answer. Why do you keep calling?
You said you don't want to see me.
So I figured we could speak on the phone.
Just not a video call.
What does your phone say when I call you?
What name did you save me under?
It says "Dad!!"
With two exclamation marks.
Two exclamation marks.
What surprises you so much?
Nazli.
I really don't like you not liking me.
I don't want anyone else to like me.
I don't care about that.
But you, you're different.
Nazli.
Shall I take you somewhere
you've always loved?
One you'll love now, too?
Row, row, row your boat
With the boatman's oar
With the baker's peer
It's "peel," dear. Not "peer."
"No, with the baker's peer!"
"Peese, Dad, peese."
-There you go.
-Thanks, man.
"Thanks, man."
I actually liked it but didn't let on.
-What?
-Your tattoo.
You know I don't like tattoos.
This is the only one I have.
That's why I liked it.
It hurt so much.
The guy kept drilling my chest
-cruelly for three hours.
-All right, Dad. Don't overdo it.
Don't you worry at all.
Daddy will take care of this.
"Daddy" with two exclamation marks.
Save me like that.
Oh, Dad.
Things could have been much better.
Why are you like this?
All right, I may have done wrong,
but I'm cute. Right?
It's not cute that you've done wrong.
Right, it's not.
Show some effort, Dad. People can change.
Yes, they can.
A cucumber can become a pickle.
But pudding, that's very hard.
Every cucumber wants
to become pudding, after all.
But it's very hard.
Very hard.
Goal!
BAHCESEHIR COLLEGE
I went to school for one day.
And that was to help some friends
steal something from the cafeteria.
Go on. I'll join you.
What do you want?
You took my money, my love,
everything I had.
What else?
Stop that soap opera talk
and listen carefully.
Yes, I'm not a doctor-- I mean,
not a medical doctor.
Our expertise is different.
A project is conducted
within an organized concept.
A product that doesn't belong to us
is made to belong to us.
So you're thieves.
If we liked that word, we would use it
and not beat around the bush.
-Sorry.
-So yes, this is what we are.
But my daughter
has nothing to do with any of this.
-No. I think she's very good at lying.
-No.
If she had been,
you wouldn't have figured it out.
And you fall for everyone else's lies.
Just fall for hers, too.
What do you say, my friend?
How does that saying go?
"When the truth is ugly..."
-"A handsome lie will work better."
-That's it.
My Nazli is pure and innocent.
She hasn't done a single thing wrong.
That's why she keeps telling me off!
We're the ones busy with murky business.
Got that?
-Are you the phone tricksters, too?
-Come on. Are you crazy?
She asked for help.
That's how I got involved.
She was refusing me before that.
It's all because of you.
Indeed, because of you.
If you hadn't swallowed that bait,
she wouldn't have come to me.
Should I actually thank him?
-No, don't go that far.
-Right.
So does Nazli love me?
Unfortunately.
Unfortunately.
-This is a private school, right?
-Yes, it is.
Where's the safe?
Please--
He's kidding, man!
They keep the money in a bank, not here.
Look, Bahadir.
For some reason, my daughter loves you.
I have to accept that.
But from now on,
if you hurt Nazli, even one bit--
I think you got the message.
I have, Dad.
And don't call me "Dad"
before I call you "son."
-Understood?
-Understood, sir.
Good. Wait here.
He's such a good man, Nazli.
I never thought I'd be matchmaking
for my daughter. Here.
Okay, stop sulking.
Welcome.
Hello.
So where have you been?
At the deep end of hell.
Any place away from you is hell for me.
So where did you stay?
-Hilmi's. He made me sleep on the couch.
-Where else would you sleep?
Wait, wait! I got it.
Got it.
T-R-U-C-K-S-U-I-T.
What's that?
The kind of clothes you wear
when doing athletics. Trucksuit.
The clothing you wear
doing athletics is a tracksuit.
There are regional variations
for every word, fat lips.
-We've located the faggot Ziya.
-No swearing.
-No swearing.
-Well done, my love.
-Nektar!
-Sorry.
-Tell me.
-We found Mr. Ziya's location.
We visited the coffee boy again.
It turns out he knew
where he was all along.
-Is that for real?
-I swear, sir.
Out.
I accept this one. It's my turn.
-What? Wait, what--?
-Triple score.
This confuses me. Let's do something else.
-Why, darling?
-It's over my head. I'm getting bored.
But you're learning new words.
What was the last word you learned?
-"Empathy."
-Right.
"To put yourself
in someone else's situation."
That's my darling!
I'll bite that belly of yours.
-Stop it now!
-Let me bite that belly.
Stop it! I'm getting nervous.
-He said "empathy"!
-Wait, stop.
Stop it. I have a tic, you know that.
Don't.
-Go down.
-Okay.
I don't mean that.
Go downstairs, to the bedroom.
Okay.
-And turn off the lights. Listen.
-Yes?
-Turn off the lights. I'm coming.
-Okay.
I'll bite you.
Come on!
There you go! We lost the money!
Let's get started.
-That stuffing is homemade.
-No, it's store-bought.
-The girls put currant in it!
-Store-bought!
-You want to bet?
-Asim.
We got a message from the hookah place.
The guy is there.
Okay, everyone get ready.
Get the tools.
And call the captain. We'll be sailing.
-The traffic would give us cancer.
-Let me come with you.
I messed it up.
Let me be there as we fix it.
This is not like the movies.
This is very serious and dirty work.
That you know nothing about.
I've been talking about some thugs.
It turns out those thugs were you.
Let me join you.
I'm the only one who can identify him.
I just need to hear his voice.
I have great ears. Really.
Unfortunately, he is right.
Okay, let him come.
-Be careful, darling.
-Don't worry, darling.
Stop saying "darling"
in front of your father.
-Asim, please be careful.
-Don't worry.
You stay on the sidelines. No questions.
Do as I say.
Do not talk nonsense. Understood?
-Understood, Dad.
-And don't "Dad" me.
-Are those guns real?
-Of course not. We never use real guns.
-You think we're gangsters?
-Of course not.
It's them.
I think we're just a little bit late.
I'm just saying.
Have a nice day, Your Excellency.
May you prosper, Asim.
They're going to the boat.
If we chase them, we can perhaps
save one more poor fellow, God willing.
-Why do you ramble on so much?
-I guess I'm scared.
When my fear levels rise,
I get this rambling reflex.
-And that can cause other things--
-Let's get out.
-Let's get some fresh Bosphorus air.
-Right.
Why aren't we going?
The men know you.
They'll run if they see you, right?
-Right.
-Don't poke your nose into anything.
Just tell me if the guy is our man.
That's it.
I know.
I used to have a gang when I was a kid.
Once the men come, I'll act calmly.
I'll signal to you if it's him or not.
-It's all good.
-Your son-in-law is talking nonsense.
I've been alive for 50 years, I have yet
to see a person who doesn't.
Either there's no such person
or I haven't met them.
But the men--
-Where's the guy?
-Over there.
That Dalmatian?
-Yes.
-Pokemon.
-What shall we drink, my friend?
-I'll have a lemona--
Berkay! Brother!
Berkay, my brother!
Help me take him outside.
Okay, brother.
Dude, you just couldn't solve
your problems.
Sex isn't everything!
It happens all the time.
We'll take care of it. Dude.
Sex isn't everything.
It's only been three months.
-Hold on, pretty face!
-Berkay?
Let's lay him down here.
-Lay him down.
-Hope he gets well soon.
-What--?
-Step out quietly, Mr. DA.
Who are you?
He said quietly. Step out.
-Come here.
-Come on!
Berkay, you must have mistaken me
for someone else.
-We'll make you someone else in a minute.
-That was a good pun.
That's not a pun. It's a figure of speech.
-Figure? What figure?
-Right, figure.
Hello, sir.
I've just explained it to the guys.
There must be a misunders--
Is it him?
Mr. Temizel, this is DA Ilhan Gundogan.
Man!
It's him.
They got the man.
They'll con him in the boat!
Look at him. He's running away like a cat!
-Smarty.
-Yes.
This is an old habit of mine.
I drive every vehicle myself.
In other words,
I don't get in any vehicle
I can't drive myself.
I even drive the taxis I get in.
I ask the driver, "Can you move aside?"
-I ask him nicely.
-Right.
How is this gun fake? It's real!
Stop that! Don't mess with it!
Idiot.
Boss, we've got company.
So these jerks are well-prepared.
Get up! Get up!
-What's going on?
-Call your friends right now.
Tell them to go away.
Or I'll tie weights to your feet
and send you to the bottom.
-What friends?
-Those ones!
What friends? What's going on?
I know nothing about this!
Don't lie!
I swear, I've got nothing to do with them,
or we would be negotiating.
He's right.
So who's following us?
-Maybe our friend Ziya knows!
-What?
-I swear on your dead relatives!
-Ziya, who are these men?
-Tell him, man!
-I'll tell!
It's Saruhan.
-Saruhan who?
-You know.
Blond Saruhan?
-You put the betting mafia on my tail?
-Boss, please! Please!
Beat him!
What are you doing?
Don't get carried away!
Asim.
Can we go a little faster?
You!
Pull over!
-You give Istanbul a bad name!
-That's the iron dealer, Naim!
-How did they get together?
-I have no idea.
You're still lying!
It's closing! It's almost closed!
You broke the bridge!
-Get in the cars!
-Come here!
Come on! Quick!
They're coming!
Move!
Step on it! He's coming!
-I'm stepping on it! Can't you see!
-Come on, step on it!
Come on! Come on!
-Oh, no!
-No!
Turn around!
Get out of the way!
Move!
We're flying!
Thank God.
Now tell me,
how will you get our money back?
-What money?
-The money you stole from me, Mr. DA.
I have nothing to do with that. I swear.
-Bahadir.
-Okay!
Let's go to my office.
I'll present the money there.
-He said okay. Why did you hit him?
-I asked for the taxi fare that day.
-They didn't give me any.
-He didn't faint. He's faking.
Get up!
I'm fine. Don't worry about me.
We'll climb these stairs.
Don't attract attention!
Ouch! My shoulder really hurts!
Really? You poor thing.
-Sir, I'm feeling really dizzy.
-Walk on, man!
-This way?
-This way, sir.
-Can I catch my breath for a moment?
-Move!
Here.
Wait. You wait here, okay?
-But the action will take place inside.
-What?
I'll miss the best part.
I wish I had enough time
to beat you now. Just stand there!
-Oh, hello.
-Have a nice day, sir.
This is the first time
I've met a real midg-- small person.
I'd show you the real thing,
but I don't have time.
What a sweet thing.
So let's see the money, brother.
Stop laughing, Dalmatian.
Sahin!
I laugh for two reasons.
One, there's not a single note
in the stash.
The money must already be
on its way to Snow White.
-Who?
-"Snow White"!
-The dwarf!
-What dwarf?
A midget walked right past me.
He had a bag with him.
He ran away! I'll show you!
Bahadir, stay out of it!
The second reason I laugh,
I heard that handsome kid
saying in the boat,
those guns are fake.
We really have an expert jerk here.
Right, these are fake.
It's a matter of principle.
An "If you're smart enough,
you don't need these," kind of thing.
But don't think these are useless.
They do come in handy sometimes.
-Such as when?
-Such as now.
Get up!
Get over there!
You, too. Move!
You, come here! Get up!
Listen, Dalmatian. Never forget this.
Nobody, I mean nobody,
hurts my daughter.
-He isn't there?
-No.
-Welcome.
-Hello.
Dad, where is Bahadir?
He went after the money.
-Where is the money?
-The dwarf took it away.
-Where is the dwarf?
-Dad, where is Bahadir?
He went after the dwarf, dear.
He went chasing the money.
What dwarf, Dad?
What happened to Bahadir?
Here's what happened.
He was waiting outside
when the dwarf went that way
and he went after him.
Because we were fighting the men inside.
We wrestled the men around the room
and when we got out, we looked around.
-We couldn't find him.
-So you just left without him?
Dad, what have you done?
Asim, is this dwarf
a very short person or an actual--?
-Does that detail really matter?
-No.
And where are our guys?
Who are these people?
Boys?
What happened to you?
We flew into the sea.
We almost drowned.
They took us out and they beat us wet.
-We dried as they beat us.
-And then they wet us again.
And beat us again.
My bones are aching.
Greetings.
Hello.
Hello.
-Do you remember me, sir?
-I can't seem to recall you right now.
We ate salmon caviar together.
Well, it's Naim! This is unbelievable.
Believe me, those boys have been
looking for you all over the place.
Look where a small misunderstanding
has brought us.
Let me treat you
to some fine jumbo shrimp.
Thank you, no.
I've developed a dislike
for all seafood, thanks to you.
Oh, no.
Let's not dwell on this matter
for too long in front of the ladies.
Bring us the money
you've taken from this man, right now.
Here's how we can solve that matter.
Ziya. Not Ziya.
Ariza, open the safe.
Bring whatever we have.
We don't have much at hand
as you came without notice.
We can pay the first part now
and pay the rest in parts
because our promise is our honor.
We are faithful to our debt.
Either you bring all the money
you've taken, or Nektar...
-Sir.
-Nektar will shoot.
I don't like it, but Nektar will shoot.
Please, there's no need for shooting.
Actually, I have an idea.
A much better one.
Nektar, I'll count up to three.
Shoot him in the right kneecap.
-Dad!
-Asim!
Don't assume the worst right away.
-They have yet to count to three.
-I'm ready.
-One.
-Sir.
-Dad.
-Asim.
Two.
-Asim.
Move. It may pass through and hit you.
-Look away, dear.
-Hello everyone.
Bahadir?
I did it, darling. Look.
I told you I could do it.
We'll hand him over to the police.
I told the taxi driver he was drunk.
Those men.
Bahadir, son. What great timing.
Well done! The money is there, isn't it?
Now take out whatever we owe
to the gentleman and hand it to them.
We shall never owe
such esteemed people again.
Shame on you!
Nektar, bring the bag.
No.
Perhaps you should take
the exact amount, not the whole thing.
Open it.
-There's a lot in here, sir.
-My God, thank you.
-Enough?
-Enough, sir.
So come on, then.
Mr. Saruhan. Mr. Saruhan.
Now, we're not strangers here.
Truthfully, there's much more
in the bag than what we took from Naim.
What do you say
we find a way to insure justice
in the income distribution?
For example,
how about not taking all the money?
To accept a result-oriented approach.
He's lost in thought.
He was going to speak
but he changed his mind.
The rebellious black singer Bob Marley
sings these lines I like very much.
-What?
-What?
He says, to the one he leaves behind...
"I'll leave your life like a shooting star
And all you can do
Is make a wish after me."
That's a beautiful lyric.
-A beautiful lyric.
-It's a bit long, but it's nice.
-Who's Bob Marley?
-The smoker.
-With the curly--?
-Right.
-Get in the front seat.
-Right.
Are you warm or cold
towards the idea of working for us?
What are the terms, sir?
There are no terms, Smarty.
For example, what will my wage be?
Do I get a raise every six months?
Do I get insurance? These things matter.
I'm sorry, Nazli.
We failed. We were fooled.
We couldn't get the money.
It's all right, Dad.
We won something more important
than money.
Look, we're almost a family again.
Given that you're quitting, of course.
My baby is right, Asim.
Don't you think
this is a good opportunity to quit now?
-This is no way to hit a small man.
-You hit me first.
This is all we ended up with.
The robber midget of Snow White.
So have a nice day.
Have a nice day.
He's running! Come here!
Where are you going?
Can we have a brief word?
What's that? Darling, our money!
Give me that. Is there more?
-No more.
-There must be more. Keep looking.
Go deeper.
The last one was my shroud money.
Your shroud won't cost much.
-Darling, our money is here.
-I don't want to touch that.
Perhaps you shouldn't have kissed it.
The money is still warm.
I got carried away there.
Well done, Bahadir.
Well done, son.
Thank you. Thank you, Dad.
Be blessed, son.
-Ms. Nazli!
-My dear!
-What's your name?
-Muko.
Give this jerk, Mr. Muko,
something to eat.
I told you I had a gang.
We were really vicious.
My only son
turned out to be an idiot, Vakkas.
I gave him all I could.
I raised him
on the most expensive baby food--
I used to drive to the countryside
every weekend to get him goat milk.
Turns out that goat milk
isn't that good, after all.
-I tried my best.
-Hello.
Wait. Here comes my tube of a son.
I'll hang up now. I'll call you later.
You're even cursing me
to people on the phone now, Dad?
Where have you been for days?
-I had work to do.
-Really? What work?
If I were to tell you now,
"Dad, I caught those men
and I got our money back,
I even got some interest on it."
-Right.
-For instance.
And then if I were to put
the brand-new bills on the table.
-What would you say?
-"Thank God!" That's what I'd say!
What else could I say? I'd take the money.
I'd take it in my arms and hug it!
You should hug your son, not the money.
Tell me, son, how did you do this?
Tell me.
How did I do it? A very good question.
The rebellious black singer Bob Marley
sings this line I like very much.
What is it?
-He says--
-Four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
11, 12, 13...
-You're not listening. Goodness.
-Fifteen, 16, 17...
Nazli, welcome!
-Lerzan, how are you?
-Oh, my baby is here!
Hello.
-I'm sweaty.
-It's all right.
-What brings you here?
-I brought you this.
Oh! Congratulations.
If you come,
I will assume you're quitting.
If you're not quitting, please don't come.
See you at the wedding.
Hopefully.
She spoke so briefly
yet so clearly. Right?
Yes, Lerzan, but...
if I leave this Asim behind
so late in my life, which Asim can I be?
A better one. A more beautiful one.
NAZLI AND BAHADIR
SANTIROGLU FAMILY
-Shall we start?
-He's not going to come.
Let's start.
Dear guests,
now I shall start the wedding ceremony.
-Your first and last name?
-Nazli Noyan.
-Your first and last name?
-Bahadir Temizel.
You informed our institution
of your intention to get married.
There is no legal obstacle
interfering with your intention.
If you would,
please declare your wish to be married
in front of guests and witnesses,
I will pronounce you husband and wife.
Of your own free will, do you accept
Bahadir Temizel as your husband?
Yes!
Do you accept Nazli Noyan as your wife?
Yes!
Bravo!
I pronounce you husband and wife.
Congratulations!
Who are these people?
These people are our family, my love.
Come here. Come.
I'll quit, dear.
I have a certain amount in mind.
Once I make that, I'll quit.
Oh, please, come on!
Yes, next week.
Next week.
What a disgrace this boy is!
You fat cylinder!
Where are you, my idiot of a son?
IN MEMORY OF ERDAL TOSUN