One Crazy Cruise (2015) - full transcript
A family goes on a cruise but not all is what it seems. The next day they wake up with no memories of last night, which gets them in a lot of trouble.
♪ Whoa-oh-oh
♪ Waking up
♪ The pedal's down,
my eyes are closed ♪
♪ No control
♪ Whoa-oh-oh
Sun, water, beaches, gorgeous sunsets.
Yes!
This cruise is going to be great!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!
This isn't happening!
What? What?
What is it?
I can't find my Ziggpad!
We have to go back.
What if it's gone?
I'm ruined!
All my work... years!
It's...
Ellie. Ellie?
Ellie. Ell...
Ellie. Ellie! Ellie!
Hmm?
Ziggpad!
Oh.
Ellie!
Sorry.
Here ya go.
What did I tell you kids
about never touching this.
Hmm.
Yes!
Oh!
My "Snobby Squirrels" app
is all ready to go!
I just wish I had one more thing
to push it over the top.
Like a catchy jingle that
makes you want to pound
your head against the wall
to make it stop?
That's exactly what it needs!
Knew there was a reason
I married you.
Okay... (Muttering)
Whoa, they got water polo!
That must be a pretty big pool
to fit all those horses.
Sometimes I think Nate has to
be kidding.
Yeah.
Hey, maybe you should just
go back to obsessing
about everything that might
go wrong on this trip.
Um... global warming has
accelerated incidents
of ocean disasters.
Don't come crying
to me if you can't find a lifeboat.
Yes! Just became a seventh-level
Master Thief of Mythonia!
Oh, that's so awesome...
said no one ever.
Good one!
Come on Piper, leave Cam alone.
He's not bothering you.
Don't worry, Sis.
I've become adept at tuning
her out.
Along with most of reality.
Okay, really?
Knock it off, Kids!
Look I know it's been
difficult since
your Mom and I got married, but...
it's time for us to come
together as a family.
Mm-hmm.
The Jensens...
Not again.
And the Bauers...
Are now the Jensen-Bauers.
We're all in the same boat.
Well, not yet we aren't.
Uh, no. Uh-uh.
'Cause we're... gonna be...
Come on, you guys,
your Dad has a lot riding
on this product launch,
so all of you need to be on your
absolute best behavior, okay?
Yeah, and word is the new boss,
Mr. Bragg, is real tough.
Okay, what do you think of this?
♪ When the Bumpkin Beavers
are to blame ♪
♪ And mayhem and mischief
are their aim ♪
♪ The Snobby Squirrels
can surely claim ♪
♪ They're ready for action
and always... ♪
Lame.
Not the word I was looking for.
Hmm.
Kids there's so many
fun things to do.
You're gonna love this.
Look, there's even a sea lion
named Schnitzel!
Aww.
Ahoy there, Mateys!
I am Barnacle the Clown,
your Maritime Merrymaker!
Ooh, hats!
Okay.
Yeah!
Oh, no, I'm not wearing this.
What's with the lovely lass?
She has Coulrophobia.
Uh...
It's an unreasonable fear of clowns.
I'm sorry, "Unreasonable"?
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
And just when I thought this
trip couldn't get any better.
Okay, you're breathing on me really hard.
Could you not?
Hats for everyone!
Oh! Oh, my gosh!
Okay, lets go!
Keep up. Keep up.
Look at that!
Look at...
This is gonna be so much fun!
I know.
Mr. Bragg!
How are you, Sir?
"Bowser," isn't it?
It's Bauer, actually.
Uh, huh.
This is my wife, Sophia.
Nice to meet you.
Hello.
And this must be your lovely wife?
This is my 16-year-old
daughter, Melina.
Oh, right!
Of course.
Cool belt.
Well, the outfit definitely
needed something.
You better stay sharp there, Berger.
After this launch,
we're gonna have millions
of eyes watching us.
I am expecting great things
from you and your app.
"App-solutely," Sir!
That's funny.
Oh, good.
Attention: The Ziggle Product Launch
will begin in 56 hours and 5 minutes.
Shopping?
Yeah, let's go.
Dude, what are you doing?
Horrible.
Ah!
Who throw that!
Hmm?
He's talkin' to me?
Do not insulting us with
feeble paper crowns.
Ooh.
Hello, beautiful.
Hey, avert vision orbs from sister!
Vi... Vision orbs?
Move aside, lowly little runts.
Why you blocking my goings?
Gee, what's his problem?
Probably afraid of clowns or something.
Yeah.
Ooh!
Ah!
Who's ready for a little
Ice Cream Bon Voyage Party
down by the old swimmin' hole
before we shove off, hmm?
You guys should go ahead,
have some fun, right?
We'll meet you back at the cabin.
Mwah!
Bye.
Really? You're gonna leave us here
with a strange man in makeup
who has seaweed for hair
when criminal activity
aboard cruise ships
is at an all-time high?
Oh, wow.
Oh!
I'm gonna call you "Chipper"!
Moxie Cruise Lines invites
all guests
to the pool deck as we prepare
for departure.
Gather round as old
Barnacle shows you how
to make your very own ice cream!
Yes!
Oh, hey, whoa, Ellie.
I don't even know you.
Okay, you will pick your ingredients
and then we'll toss 'em
into this here mixing bowl
full of creamy goodness.
And then old Barnacle is
gonna pour
some of his magic potion.
And we'll toast...
To the voyage that awaits us!
Oh, cool!
Whoo!
Ooh.
Are you kidding me?
Now the clown is messing
around with liquid nitrogen!
That stuff is like 320 below zero.
It can snap steel in half!
That was awesome!
I wanna try!
Hey!
You almost cost me a life!
Like you even had one
in the first place.
Okay, do you ever shut up?
Do you ever try and make me?
That was fun!
Liquid Nitrogen is in the pool!
Cannon ball!
My game! Not my game,
not my game, not my game.
My new dress!
No, no, no, no!
Not my game.
Not my game.
Polo!
Ah, Ellie overboard!
Ellie overboard!
Mayday!
It's the shallow end, Ellie.
Attention: As your Moxie
Cruise sets sail,
please join us for dinner and
a show.
Oh, what do you think?
Am I S.F.I.H.?
S.F.I.H.?
So fresh it hurts!
It hurts all right.
Whoa, where'd you get that?
Borrowed it from Mom.
Perfect.
Well, then why are you
taking it off?
So she doesn't see me in it, duh.
I'll just throw it on later.
What...
Oh, hey, whoa!
Hands off!
This is an original Alfonse Moogli.
I worked three summers
to pay for it.
Iceberg!
Whoa!
I knew it!
Where is my life vest?
It's the password to the safe.
I don't want to forget,
so I'm telling you guys.
My Ziggpad's in there
and it is completely
off-limits until after the presentation.
No music videos...
no online shopping...
no nothing.
Got it?
That means you, Sticky Fingers.
What? Don't look at me.
I never remember passwords.
Now, I want you to imagine...
you're standing at the South Pole...
in your underwear.
Boxers or briefs?
On the count of three,
you shall return from
your polar journey,
fully clothed.
One, two, three!
Consider your mind exploded
by The Indescribable Paul!
Whoo-hoo!
Now, for the finale,
I'll need a few volunteers.
Uh-oh!
Okay, there is not a shred
of scientific evidence
to prove hypnosis is real.
It's a total crock.
How about these four lovely
children right here?
That's you guys!
Get on up there.
Getting up in front of a crowd?
Definitely not my thing.
I'll go.
It's not like
you can penetrate this steel
trap anyway.
Well, it's better than sitting
here, bored out of my mind.
Careful.
Don't embarrass yourself.
Hmm.
I want you to relax your body
and simply focus on
the sound of my voice,
nothing more.
In honor of tomorrow night's
highly-anticipated performance
of "Pirate-tacular, The Musical,"
I want you to imagine that
you're a Merry Band Of Buccaneers.
Modern or Colonial-era?
Just...
You know...
Everyone breathe...
and concentrate on the sound
of my voice.
As you listen,
you'll find your eye lids
getting heavier
and heavier until it's impossible
to keep them open.
That's it.
I've never seen them this quiet.
Yeah...
From now until sunrise,
I want you to imagine
that you're a bunch
of plundering pirates at sea.
In three...
two...
But I...
I'm a steel trap.
One!
Hmm?
Hmm? What? Hmm?
I... I'm blind!
No!
No...
(Muttering)
Oh, whoa.
Whoa, guys, get up.
Who trashed this place?
Hmm?
Oh, hey.
Oh!
Did you do this?
Um, good morning?
Is this a...
What the...
There's a leg handcuffed
to my arm!
Whoa!
Oh!
Why are there ping pong balls
all over the floor?
Mom and Dad are gonna kill
you guys.
You have an anchor tattoo
on your neck.
Hmm? Tattoo?
Oh, whew, it rubs off.
What is going on?
Ah! Oh!
Oh, no, no, no!
This is not funny!
Oh! Eww!
What the...
O... M... G!
My hair!
Ah.
Oh!
Did you... Nate?
Cool!
Nate?
Morning.
What is that stuff?
Hmm?
Cool!
I'm a mutant!
Hello? Um, guys?
Hello?
Nate, Nate!
Get in the shower and rinse
that off right now.
Geez, okay, "Mom."
Ridiculous!
Seriously guys, what is going on?
The last thing I remember was that
magician guy hypnotizing us...
into thinking we were pirates!
Okay, we gotta get this room
clean before Mom and Dad...
Honey... let them have their privacy.
It'll help them bond.
You're right.
See ya at brunch!
We just need to get dressed!
Right.
We'll meet you at the restaurant!
Oh, God.
This stuff's not coming off!
Grape?
Something funny here?
Yeah, it's grape.
Oh! Whoa.
Oh, no.
Oh, no!
Oh, God!
No, no, no!
No, is this Dad's Ziggpad?
Please don't be broken!
It's gone!
Oh, no!
This is not good!
Oh, Man!
Okay.
Oh, please be in the safe,
please be in the safe...
It's not in the safe!
But this glove is.
Give it to me.
There's something inside!
Okay, all right...
nobody jump to conclusions.
Maybe Dad brought his tablet
with him?
Without the cover?
Okay, let's just relax
and go to brunch...
Wha... uh, excuse me?
What am I supposed to do with this?
Oh, yeah, let's get you
something for that.
"See Other Glove."
Huh.
Ew. What is this doing here?
It smells like, ugh, mothballs!
Ugh.
Why is there a seal in our closet?
I believe that's a...
A sea lion.
What the...
It smells so bad!
Ah! It's gonna eat my face!
Ugh!
I guess that means
he likes you?
I don't know.
Ha!
Well, there's no accounting for taste.
Ew!
Actually, he appears to be
an excellent judge of character.
What's this?
I wish I didn't do this.
Ugh.
Ew! You grabbed that from the puke?
That is so nasty!
Can everyone please try
and stay focused?
We need to go meet Mom and Dad!
Let's put it in the bathroom
for now.
Worry about it later.
Mm-mm.
Okay, that's it.
Come here, Puppy.
Yeah, you got him, Nate.
Come on, Boy.
You stink. Yeah.
Keep him moving.
Come on.
Seriously?
It's working.
Yeah, you better not use
my toothbrush, either!
On second thought, it's all yours.
Just make sure you clean it.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Okay, guys, be cool.
I got this.
This leg is killing my back.
At least you're not purple!
Attention passengers,
don't forget to put your name...
Uh, excuse me, Young Lady.
Have you seen my daughter, Melina?
Um, no.
Haven't seen her.
Oh, that's strange,
she usually checks in by now.
That's all right, I'll check her room.
Thank you.
That's weird.
What's that about?
Well, okay.
Hey, you!
Hey.
Took you guys long enough
to get here.
Um, yeah...
Ellie had explosive diarrhea.
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
Nate... you're purple.
Uh, yes!
Thanks for noticing!
It's my new...
My new, uh...
sunscreen.
Yeah.
Super-protective.
And what's with that awful coat?
Oh, yeah, no.
I'm... I'm totally fine.
They really have the A/C
cranked up in here.
Oh, uh, Dad!
Happen to have that Ziggpad handy?
Oh, yeah!
I'd love to take a peek
at that app again.
I told you, that stays in the
safe until the presentation.
Oh.
Oh.
And for security measures,
it's got
the only copy of my
"Snobby Squirrels" app.
Um... I have "Pulpaphobia."
Mm.
Fear of pulp.
Mm-hmm.
It's strong in here.
Oh, yeah!
Is that new?
Never heard of it.
Hello there, Newcomers.
You're all welcome to help
yourselves to our
Briny Brunch Buffet.
That sounds disgusting.
Well, it's better than last
night's "Squidsicles."
Ahoy there, Kids!
Oh, ahh!
It never ends.
Now I hope you're all enjoying
the second day of this
fun-tastical cruise-a-majiggathon!
Barnacle wanted to let you all know...
Mm!
That tomorrow night...
After the big Ziggle Launch,
there's gonna be a super-swell
farewell gala
featuring a concert with
a top secret mystery guest!
Ooh!
Mm!
It's gonna put the "Dig" in "Shindig"!
And you are going to look dazzling
in that new necklace I got you.
Ooh, thank you.
I was nervous about bringing it...
Oh, no!
Where's the necklace?
But this is the perfect occasion...
It's not in here.
To finally break it out!
Aww... um...
yeah, I'm late!
We gotta go!
We gotta go play Underwater Croquet!
Yeah!
But you have to eat!
(Muttering)
What about the Briny Brunch?
The Ziggle Product Launch will
begin in 35 hours.
Okay, all I know is
Mom's jewelry was in my purse,
and now it's gone!
Wait a minute...
isn't that Melina's belt?
What's that red stuff?
Okay, I don't want to point
out the obvious,
but we know Melina is missing,
and that looks like...
Okay, if you guys don't
shut up, you can add me
to the long list of things
you're scared of!
Look, our top priority right
now is to find Dad's Ziggpad,
or we're gonna be grounded
for life!
Great, we're at Defcon One and all
she can do is update her status.
Ugh, I'm checking my feed
from last night, "Snarknado."
Geesh.
Maybe we posted a photo or something.
All right.
That's weird.
I have a text message from "Unknown."
Well, what's it say?
Uh...
Nothing.
Hmm.
Wh...
Thank you!
"There's only me.
There's only you."
"See you at noon."
Okay, who is this obviously
insane person?
I know. Cuckoo!
I have no idea.
The number is blocked.
Wait, why are there pictures
of me and that
cute waiter guy?
Maybe he helped you off
Bragg's daughter?
Perhaps it was
an ill-fated love triangle.
Look, Ellie...
Okay, okay!
Bigger fish to fry, People!
Okay, let's construct a timeline.
We know that we saw
the hypnotism show at 8:00, right?
And I took this photo with
that waiter at 9:23.
Speaking of fish, shouldn't
we get that big blubber-butt
out the room before Mom and
Dad get back?
Actually, technically speaking,
a sea lion is not a fish,
it's a mammal.
Hold it right there!
You're all coming with me.
What? I'm sorry?
Us?
March!
Now!
I mean, Ma'am!
Ma'am! Yes, Ma'am.
I'm... I'm marchin'!
I got my eye on you.
My advice is to confess now
and save yourselves a lot of trouble.
Confess to which thing?
I mean, what thing?
'Cause we didn't do anything.
Why are you purple?
Oh, you're just seeing
my powerful aura.
You know, some say
it's almost blinding,
so you might just wanna
look away while you still can,
'cause, uh...
Excuse me, but who are you exactly?
Head of ship security.
H.O.S.S., for short.
And the four of you are in
a boat-load of trouble.
Ma'am, we have no idea
what you're talking about.
Mm-mm.
Why are you wearing a house coat,
Young Lady?
Hmm?
It's 90 degrees out!
And you smell like mothballs.
Um, uh, is smelling like
mothballs against the law?
No, it's not.
But let me show you what is,
Miss Smartypants.
Arr!
Hand over the food!
That's us?
I... I don't know.
We're going to jail.
This was last night's midnight
buffet after it closed.
The costumes were stolen.
We've had to cancel tonight's performance
of "Pirate-tacular, the Musical"!
Oh, no!
Not "Pirate-tacular"!
"The Musical"!
Yup, "The Musical."
Look, uh, Hoss...
Mm-hmm?
We have no idea who those adorable,
merry scamps might be,
but it really just looks
like some harmless fun.
Harmless?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah-huh.
Does this look harmless to you?
Aye-aye, Captain!
Overboard!
Imagine that.
Throw it overboard.
That's a body!
What?
We're in trouble.
Is that us?
That was definitely us.
Want to tell me what's going
on here?
Huh?
Or why Schnitzel the seal was
kidnapped from the aquarium?
A sea lion.
Shut up!
What?
He... he said, um...
He said "Stop Lyin'."
Mm-hmm.
As in, you know, "Girl,
you stop your lyin'."
I will not.
I mean, I am not!
Stop confusing me!
Face it, I got you all on tape.
Now...
who's ready to talk?
I am.
No.
She doesn't want to talk.
By all means... let her speak!
That footage would never
stand up in court.
If you had clear images
of the perpetrator's faces,
you would've shown them
to us by now.
Instead, you have nothing more
than circumstantial evidence.
You simply can't prove beyond
a shadow of a doubt that
that was us.
Mm-hmm.
So either arrest us...
And risk losing your job...
Or release us posthaste, forthwith.
You have made a very powerful
enemy here today.
From this moment on, I am
going to be on you
like stink on skunk.
Stink on skunk.
What?
Now, get outta here!
Okay!
Okay!
Yes, Ma'am... Sir!
Sorry!
Whew, that was close!
But at least we got
a few more things to add to
the timeline.
The security footage showed
that we were on the deck
by the pool at 1:12 am.
And we were also at
the midnight buffet.
If we could just figure out when
the midnight buffet was!
Huh?
Man. Oh!
Okay, um, hello?
Can we please focus on the
biggest revelation here?
Piper threw Melina overboard
because she wanted her belt!
"A," No! No, no, no, I didn't,
and B... you were there too!
Wha... so, I'm an accessory?
Over an accessory?
Guys, enough already.
This is serious!
We've got to find Dad's Ziggpad.
If we don't, we're all gonna
be thrown overboard!
How did Schnitzel the sea lion
get out of the bathroom?
He didn't get... the stairs!
Oh, no, he's loose!
Come on, are we sure that's Schnitzel?
You know, a lot of fish look...
Yup, that's Schnitzel.
Yeah.
We can't just leave him
wandering around the ship!
We'll divide and conquer.
Ellie and Cam keep looking
for Dad's Ziggpad.
Nate and I will go talk
to that hypnotist.
And if anyone finds Schnitzel,
return him back to his show.
We'll meet back at the pool.
All right, on three...
One, two, three... break!
What the heck?
Oh.
This...
Um...
Nate, get back here.
Shh! Shut up! Shush!
I've been expecting you.
I'll bet you have!
I assume you're here
to return my handcuffs?
Yeah, about that... you wouldn't
happen to have the key,
would you?
'Cause, you know...
Any chance, that you...
Yeah, we don't have that.
The key is inside all of you.
Can you please just tell us
exactly what happened last night?
Isn't it obvious?
You became a Merry Band Of Pirates.
What?
You completely ruined our lives!
Ruined them?
Or did I vastly improve them?
Um, hmm, let's see.
If you haven't noticed,
I'm purple!
He wasn't like that before.
The Indescribable Paul
only sees what's within.
Can you just try not to be weird
for one minute and tell us
how to get our memories back?
He sucks.
Awful, isn't it?
Four individual notes that clash.
Oh, brother.
But force them to work
together in harmony...
They create beautiful music.
Oh, I get it.
It's a metaphor.
See, we're the four notes
that clash and were gonna...
Shut up, Nate.
Yep.
I wish you the best of luck
in finding your answers.
Now, if you'll excuse me...
This is ridiculous!
How are we supposed to find
the right tablet?
Literally everyone in here has one.
Hmm?
"Ellie, where were you?"
Okay, that's weird.
Well, now we know where
you were supposed to meet
your mystery date.
Ha! I bet it's killing you
that you don't know who it is.
Okay, please, I have way more
important things to worry about.
Okay, you guys!
That guy Paul was of no help.
Yeah, and no sign of Schnitzel.
A-ha!
This guy?
No way.
The fight is on!
Main square, 4:00.
We will duel.
What?
Why?
Because I have accepted
of your challenge,
when you slap my face with this!
The other glove!
Look, whatever happened,
I really need that glove back.
You only receive of glove
by defeat of me.
Huh?
Oh! Banjak!
Huh? Hmm?
You are purple!
You are sea monster!
This may be a cultural difference...
Yeah.
'Cause I'm no Banjak.
4:00, we fight for your glove,
lowly little runt!
Ah, ha!
Bye!
All right.
Okay, can this day get any weirder?
Seriously, Piper!
Stop ogling him.
We've got a job to do!
I'm not ogling him.
I'm ogling his watch.
It's insanely expensive.
How can a waiter afford
something like that?
I don't know.
Maybe it's a fake.
Or maybe he's a thief.
Come on, we need to follow him.
Guess it's just me and you, Man.
Me and... What?
Or just me.
Oh, we lost that waiter guy.
I'll bet he's got Mom's
jewelry and Dad's tablet.
Probably snatched them from me
when we took those photos!
It's always the cute ones.
Wait, I know that voice.
♪ There's no way to say this song's ♪
♪ About someone else
♪ Every time you're not in my arms ♪
It's Cody Simpson!
♪ I start to lose myself
He's the mystery performer
for Dad's Ziggle Launch.
O.M.G.
No way!
♪ Don't you let 'em see me down ♪
♪ Oh, you have taken over my days ♪
♪ So tonight I'm going out ♪
A little more guitar in the
monitors and we should be good.
Thank you guys.
I'll see you at the show.
Okay, Cody...
You're just so incredible.
What are you doing here?
Oh, so sorry to interrupt.
We're just looking for somebody.
Somebody?
Clearly it wasn't me, was it?
Good going Ellie, now Cody
Simpson officially hates us!
Wha... What did I do?
Melina!
Oh, my gosh, you're alive!
Eww, what's wrong with you?
Get off me!
Okay.
Oh...
Wait, why do you have my
Mom's jewelry?
Nice memory.
You traded me your jewelry
for my belt last night.
Which, I have to say,
looked pretty ridiculous
with your whole pirate get-up.
Look, I really need that back.
Forget it,
I'm not taking that belt back.
You spilled cherry sauce
or something all over it.
Uh-oh. We were supposed to meet
Mom and Dad five minutes ago!
Oh! Let's go!
Like stink on skunk!
Hey, are you guys having fun?
Yup!
Mm-hmm.
It just never seems to end.
Sorry for the late notice, but...
we have to back out of
the family port excursion.
You guys go.
Bergstrom!
What happened to your leg, Sir?
Huh?
Oh, well now, that's a funny story.
I lost it to a hungry
Komodo Dragon on
a golf course in Osaka in '91.
You know, last night, I took
off my prosthetic to go for
a little moonlit dip...
somebody snatched it.
What?
I ask you,
what kind of inhuman villain
is going to run off
with another man's leg?
Beats me!
Bergstrom!
Yes, Sir?
Let's go.
Yes, Sir.
Catch up to you later.
Bye.
Yeah, bye.
See ya later!
I have to get his leg back to him!
Okay, Guys,
we need to search the ship
for Dad's Ziggpad while
everyone's on shore.
It's got to be here somewhere.
Oh, it's almost 4:00.
I have to meet that crazy guy
in the town square.
Cameron, that guy wants to
fight you!
I'm not gonna fight him.
But I have to get that glove back!
"See Other Glove," remember?
There's got to be a clue in it.
(Chattering)
You just worry about getting
the glove.
I'll figure out some sort of distraction
to get you out of the fight.
Yeah.
Okay? Break!
What is this?
Ah, look who is not made
of chickens after all.
Look, can we talk about this?
Enough of your chatter!
We fight for the glove now!
Banjak!
Aah! What? Where?
Oh, right.
Banjaks are purple.
Oh, I gotta get that glove!
We duel for the glove...
There it is!
And for honor!
Whoa, whoa!
Here goes nothing!
What are we doing here?
Well, remember that liquid
nitrogen from the pool?
There's got to be more
around here somewhere.
I thought we were trying
to get the leg off.
Are you not familiar with even
the simplest fundamentals of science?
Oh, well, I... just...
Oh, here.
This will freeze the locks of
the cuffs,
which will shatter after enough
pressure is applied.
Mm-hmm!
Ah!
Hey!
You were the guys who raided
the kitchen
and stole all that grape
yogurt last night.
We were?
Yeah, you were dressed up
like pirates, shouting
"Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of Fro-yo"!
Are you gonna turn us in?
Me? Nah. I thought it was funny.
But he didn't...
That guy has got no sense of humor.
(Native language)
Ingmar is an expert in the
Swedish Art Of "Fishjitsu."
I'm sorry, "Fishjitsu"?
Yeah...
(Native language)
Bah!
He's this mad about stolen yogurt?
Ah, nah, but he was furious
about that ice sculpture
you threw overboard.
Ice sculpture... overboard...
Yeah, it was the spitting image
of his beloved grandmother.
(Native language)
We should... I'm gonna go.
Okay, yeah.
(Native language)
Whew!
Wow, that was close!
We almost just got fish mongered
or whatever he said.
Yeah, but...
I totally could've taken him
with the leg!
Yeah, I know you could have.
Come on, let's stow the stump
and find that waiter guy.
Okay, let's hit it!
This isn't fair!
I've never done this before!
You cannot run! Nate! Nate!
A little help!
You are irresistible,
little purple Banjak.
Okay, sure.
I do impressions, too.
Nate! Nate!
Ah!
Oh, you'll have to do better
than that!
I think I got this.
Hyah!
It's just like a video game.
Aah!
Whoa! Ah, ah!
Aah!
You all right, Man?
Wha... Huh... Whoo!
Yes, I did it!
Take the glove!
It's the perfect cover.
He scopes everyone's valuables
while he's serving them.
That girl has no shame what so ever!
I'll be doing the Fashion
Frenzy event tomorrow.
Maybe you can stop by
and cheer me on?
It'd be nice to have
someone other than
my father in my corner.
I think I might be working.
Maybe you can rearrange
your schedule for me?
I swear, I'm gonna throw
that flirt overboard...
For real this time!
Come on!
We need to get you out of this.
You're a little late!
Oh, sorry.
I was just...
No way, you got it!
Yeah.
And the clue inside says,
"X Marks The Spot."
Great.
More pirate bologna.
That's not getting old at all.
Oh, we've got to get in that room!
Hey, what are you doing?
Softball.
Starting pitcher.
Huh.
This guy's been busy.
Yeah!
What's in there?
Oh! It's not Dad's.
Hyah! Yah!
Caught you red-handed this time,
breaking and entering!
Try arguing your way out of
this one, Miss Lady Lawyerpants!
We just discovered a major
thief on board!
You should be thanking us.
Yeah!
What's going on?
Aah!
Aah!
Oh!
What'd I do?
We know you stole all
that stuff, Pretty Boy.
Fess up!
Where's our Dad's tablet?
Is that what you think?
I'd do that to you after all
the fun
we had hanging out last night?
Just answer the question.
Those are gifts from my father.
He's the CEO and owner
of Moxie Enterprises,
the multi-national conglomerate
of which this
cruise line is a subsidiary.
I'm sorry, wait.
So, you're the owner's son?
You wait tables.
I'm learning the family
business from the ground up.
Ah.
I'm terribly sorry, Sir.
I will take these lawbreakers
to the brig now if you don't mind.
That won't be necessary.
I invited them in.
They're here legally.
But they're responsible
for a wave of...
Unless you want me to press charges
for being Tasered without cause,
I suggest you be leaving.
Immediately.
Buh-bye.
Wow.
Thanks.
I got to ask,
what made last night so awesome
that you would do this for us?
Simply put, you were the most spontaneous,
sweet, and fun girl I've ever met.
This one right here?
Shut up, Ellie.
And where exactly did we hang out?
On the upper deck, under the stars.
Beginning to think it might
not have been
as memorable for you.
Well, last night was a little... fuzzy,
but you definitely seem like
someone worth remembering.
I'll tell you what.
All is forgiven if you save
me a dance
at the big launch tomorrow night.
Sounds like a date.
Attention: The Ziggle Product Launch
will begin in 16 hours and 58 minutes.
There!
I think we have it all cleaned up.
So, nobody's found anything?
Mnh-mnh.
There's got to be some sort
of clue
or something that we've
missed or overlooked.
Whoo! Guys, this loofah thing
really does work wonders!
Check it out.
No way, dude!
You got it off!
Well, almost.
What's this?
Oh.
Yeah.
This is weird.
This Ping-Pong ball has a
number on it.
B-12?
Maybe it's a really big vitamin?
Oh, yeah.
Wait a minute.
Bingo!
It's a bingo ball from the
Senior Bingo Tournament.
Looks like they have
a game every day.
Well, we know we didn't have
the tablet with us
at the Midnight Buffet.
I didn't see it on the video.
Well, maybe we lost it
right before then.
We've got to get into that
bingo hall.
When's the next game?
Uh...
Doors don't open for half an hour.
What do we do until then?
I still need to get
Mom's jewelry back from
Melina somehow.
Yeah, and I need to
return her dad's leg.
Hmm...
Whoo!
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!
Hey, Kiddies, who's ready
to join me for Fashion Frenzy?
Whoo!
Now, for the special contest,
I'll need some special volunteers.
Come on now, don't be shy.
Ooh, yes!
Yes, you.
Okay, now, the rules are simple.
You've got three minutes to go
into this old trunk of junk
and pick out whatever
gives you the most
swaggerific, spectacular-docious outfit
as judged by our audience
and Barnacle's patented
Whoopie-Noise-O-Meter!
Whoo!
Good luck.
I really need that jewelry back.
Like the clown said, good luck.
How about this?
If I win Fashion Frenzy,
you return the jewelry.
What if I win?
What do you have that
I could possibly want?
Psst, Piper.
Listen, you are hands down
the most fashionable person
I know.
Just bet the Moogli.
If I had a purse like that,
I'd bet it on you.
Everyone gather round.
We're gonna need all of you.
No way.
That's clearly fake.
It's a real Alfonse Moogli.
Signed and everything.
Deal?
Definitely.
Now, you're gonna jump
into that trunk,
and once you've selected
your items,
go backstage and get
all dolly-dolled up.
On your mark, get set,
Frenzy!
Ooh, I like these shoes.
Ooh, that's so cute!
Yeah.
This is gonna work so well.
That's cute.
Go for the boa!
Get the boa!
Aah!
Time's up! Time's up!
Time's up!
Got it! Got it!
Got it! Got it!
I'm glad we got it.
Okay, I'll sneak over and put
the leg
by his crutches so he can't
miss it.
What if he sees you?
Um, uh, just signal me
if he starts to move.
Just keep it subtle.
Now ol' Barnacle's gonna bring out
the contestants one by one,
and the loudest applause
will tell us the winner.
First contestant!
Make some noise, people!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Ooh, 60.
Not bad.
You know,
the new Ziggle product launch
is more than a presentation.
It's a spectacle.
Wait, no!
No!
Ooh, second contestant!
Yes!
Oh, it's energy and rhythm
working in unison and being
in the moment.
I mean, that's the Ziggle
philosophy in a nutshell.
75! Whoo!
Third contestant!
84!
Yes!
Fourth contestant!
No!
Oh!
92!
Yeah!
Ellie's gonna get caught!
Hey, Bragg, look over here!
Hey! Look at me!
Hmm?
99!
Ooh!
Why, I haven't seen readings
like that
in all my two years of hosting!
But we have one more contestant, so...
92!
We need more clapping.
She's gonna lose!
Come on, what do we do?
Hey, I've got an idea!
Change-up.
100!
Whoo-hoo!
Yeah, Piper!
Come on, Sis!
Whoo!
Winner!
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Hoo-hoo!
Ah, yes.
Did such a good job.
That's the best one I've seen yet.
That's my leg.
Whoa, Baby, where did you go?
Looks like you're in good shape.
Still fits like a leg.
Let's dance! Whoo!
Hey, Guys.
Congratulations.
You really earned this.
Yours was insane.
That was a total
"Girl On Fire" moment.
Your outfit was amazing, Melina.
It could have gone either way.
Maybe we can hang out sometime
and trade some fashion tips?
I'd like that.
Oh, we can still make the
Senior Bingo Tournament.
Okay, I got to return this stuff
back to the safe before Mom
gets dressed.
Uh-oh.
What?
It's a Senior Bingo Tournament.
They're never gonna let
a bunch of kids in.
I got this one.
Out of my way, Whippersnapper!
Grandpa came to play.
G-50.
I-20.
O-62.
Excuse me, Fellow Senior,
were you here the other night?
I'm here for every game.
Can't win one to save my life, though.
I-25.
Did anything unusual happen?
No, not that I remember.
Oh, unless you mean those
pirates ransacking the place.
Oh... that's exactly
what I mean.
Oh, they were having a fine
old time.
One of them stole the cash box,
but he left all the money.
That's terrible pirating
if you ask me.
Oh, and one stole
Mrs. Fogelman's coat.
But, she deserves it.
Miserable, cheating old biddy.
Yeah, Fogelman,
I'm talking to you!
I-17.
Did you happen to notice
if any one of them
had a Ziggpad Tablet?
A what?
Oh, it's one of those, uh,
newfangled thingamagidgets.
Well, there's one way to check.
There must be something I'm missing.
They took a picture.
You took a picture?
Yep!
Yep, those salty sea dogs
were as close to me as you
are now.
Can I take a peek at your camera?
Sure.
O-16.
Where's the picture?
It's inside, silly.
I'm gonna get the film developed
later this afternoon.
I... I don't understand!
I'll take care of that for
you, Ma'am.
Ship's courtesy.
Well, that's mighty nice of you.
Well, well, well.
What do we have here?
G-59.
Who's lucky today?
You got Bingo!
Oh, my.
Oh, my gracious.
Bingo!
Bingo!
You've just won a fabulous
marine sports package,
complete with turbo-injected
hydro blasters!
Guaranteed to blast you
30 feet... up in the sky!
A thrill of a lifetime!
Attention, Ziggle Product Launch
will be in 1 hour, 47 minutes.
How are we supposed to
get those pictures?
That's your department,
Master Thief.
Didn't you get like to level
900 or something on that game?
I don't know if I can do it.
Cam, it's the bottom of the ninth,
we're fourth and goal,
and we really need a
three-pointer right now.
Besides, I believe in you, Bro.
Okay, fine.
But we have to work together.
Don't worry,
I've got something in mind
that's so brilliant that
it'll go down in
the history books.
if they ever make history books
about mayhem on cruise ships.
Just wear this.
There she is!
Get ready!
Okay, got it.
Okay, let's see what we've
got here.
Terrible hat...
Bingo!
Ahoy, Matey!
Whoa!
Great Poseidon's Beard!
Whoo!
Thank you!
Ah, thief!
Dude, that was awesome!
Yeah, I can't believe I did that!
Ah! You!
Unh! Thief!
These will show if we had
Dad's Ziggtab at Bingo.
Come on, let's go back to the room
and check these pictures out!
Come on, let's go!
I don't get it.
They know how important
this is to me.
Well, maybe they're
already at the theater.
Have you noticed they've been
acting different lately?
A little... better?
Yeah, It's nice.
We should go on cruises more often.
Attention: The Ziggle Product Launch
will begin in 24 minutes.
I can't believe it.
After all that, we didn't
have Dad's Ziggpad at Bingo.
That was our last hope.
It's game over.
It's gone for good.
It's probably at the bottom
of the ocean by now.
Well, we might as well
go face the consequences.
The least we can do is be there
like we promised Mom and Dad.
Guess that's it, then.
We saved ourselves,
but we couldn't save Dad.
He's going to be publicly humiliated,
fired in front of millions!
We should destroy the evidence.
Although, it's kind of a shame.
Yeah.
We all look so happy together.
Arr!
You know what?
Let's just keep it.
At least we'll have this memory.
Yeah.
Guys?
It's been under our feet
the whole time!
What are you talking about?
Look!
"X" Marks The Spot!
Go for it, Nate!
I got this!
I'm a diggin' machine!
Come on, dig, dig!
You can do it!
Come on, it's gotta be in there.
Come on, Nate, let's go.
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Come on, dig!
Come on!
Come on, we only have 14 minutes.
I'm diggin'!
Okay, come on!
He's almost there!
I see it!
Have we got it?
That's it!
I got it! I got it!
Just keep digging about it, Nate.
Oh! We got it!
Oh!
It's locked!
Ah!
Dad's done, and so are we!
Wait a minute.
What?
What... The key from Schnitzel!
Is that it?
Go!
Do you think that's it?
Open...
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Is it working?
Dude!
We got it!
(Chattering)
We gotta get this back to Dad!
Hurry, come on!
Dad goes on any minute!
Come on! Come on, come on,
come on!
Wait, go, go, go!
Come on, follow me!
All right, come on.
Come on, go!
I think it's this way.
Go, go, go, go, go!
We gotta make it, guys!
We're running out of time!
Let's go, let's go!
Hurry up, hurry up!
Hurry! Hurry, hurry!
We're almost there, come on.
Come on, around the corner.
Run, run, run, run!
Come on, people,
we're running out of time!
Ah!
(Muttering)
Huh?
Ooh!
Hmm?
Whoo!
Hi!
Bingo!
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Ziggle CEO, Balthazar Bragg!
Go baby, go baby, go!
This way!
Don't!
Please, Dad, wait!
Dad, wait, wait, stop!
There you are!
We were worried sick about you.
UH, we were... we were
just off bonding and all.
We wouldn't miss this
for the world!
We're homies now.
Yeah.
Thanks, Kids.
Thank you!
Good evening, good evening, everyone!
That's ri...
I would like to welcome you
to an evening you will never forget!
Okay, I'm up next.
No!
Whoa!
Don't you guys want to hear about...
our personal revelations and...
profound life lessons?
I mean,
parents love that kind of stuff!
I gotta plenty of it, I just...
Uh, yeah honey of course we do,
but... can we do it a little
bit later?
Oh, sure!
Sure.
Okay.
Okay.
Hey!
You're gonna kill it.
Now the new Ziggle Nova
with 3D screen
is going to let you take
video chatting to the third dimension!
A quick charge and we're
ready to go.
You're gonna be awesome.
You all right?
Yep.
(Chatter)
No!
Did it crack?
Oh, Mr. Bragg isn't
just going to fire me,
he's going to light me on fire
and fire me out of a cannon
into a fiery pit of fire!
You...
You gotta tell him to skip me.
We can't skip you.
What?
What if we hard wire a connection
between the tablet's hard
drive and my game player?
We could transfer the app
so you can demo it through
the projector over USB.
Yeah.
That's a great idea, Cam,
it just might work!
We've got to buy some time!
Wait, I have an idea,
but I'm going to need
everybody's help, okay?
Bragg is looking for a spectacle,
we're going to give him one together.
Uh, Nate, can you go out
on stage and stall for us?
I was born to stall.
Um, Piper, we're going to need
some awesome costumes,
and fast.
How fast and how awesome?
Maybe I can help?
I'm pretty good with costumes.
But, don't get me wrong,
Ziggle is also about smiles,
and with that I introduce you to,
the fun-tastic new app,
"Snobby Squirrels"!
Whoa, where is it?
It's a...
It's an incredible new game.
You'll go nuts for it.
Snobby Squirrels!
Ellie, do something, anything!
We need more time!
Snobby Squirrels!
Oh!
Uh... uh...
It appears we're having
some engineering problems.
I'm sure it's nothing to
worry about.
Whoo!
Yeah!
I'll take it from here, Mr. Bragg!
Let me help you.
Thank you very much.
What's up everybody!
Who's ready to be entertained?
Ellie, come on,
put your costume on!
I... I can't go out there.
Crowds are definitely not my thing!
Okay, listen to me,
there's nothing to be worried about.
Now come on,
let's do this for Dad.
Get ready folks
because there's more
where that came from.
Wha... I don't like this.
Come on.
Oh, gosh.
Okay, now listen,
when I say "Snobby"
you say "Squirrels!"
Got it? Okay.
Snobby!
Squirrels!
Snobby!
Squirrels!
Okay.
Come on, come on.
Get back here.
♪ We're the "Snobby Squirrels"
and we came to play ♪
♪ But when those Bumpkin Beavers
get in the way, ♪
♪ We lay down a smack down
and knock 'em in the hay ♪
♪ And that, old chaps,
is how we say "good day" ♪
Huh?
Whoa, Cam! I didn't know
you could play the piano!
You never asked.
Ellie, stop, stop.
Ow!
Ellie, you need to finish this!
Come on!
We need you!
♪ Yo, you Bumpkin Beavers
better watch your tail ♪
♪ Or we'll take you down like
an epic fail ♪
♪ Send you to the past like
a piece of snail mail ♪
♪ You'll tumble down like
Jack and Jill's pail ♪
♪ Uhhh, what?
♪ Just ate you up like
a salad made of kale ♪
♪ For real
Where did you learn to rap?
Sometimes I rap in the shower.
♪ So when the Bumpkin Beavers
are to blame ♪
♪ And mayhem and mischief are
their aim ♪
♪ The "Snobby Squirrels"
can surely claim ♪
♪ They're ready for action
and always... ♪
♪ Game! ♪
Come on, come on.
Whoo!
Yes, you did it.
Hey! Yeah!
Melina, come, come.
Yeah!
Cameron, great job!
Okay.
Oh, my gosh.
Ha, ha.
Thank you!
Well, I promised you
we wouldn't disappoint.
I meant it.
This has been a special trip...
and a new dawn for Ziggle!
Bauer, you blew me away.
Incorporating kids to showcase
a family product...
Well, that's just genius!
And, as far as the rest
of you are concerned...
you were all terribly disappointing
and will probably all
get fired in the morning.
But, uh,
enjoy the rest of your cruise.
I got it.
Wait, okay.
There we go.
Hey.
Hey.
How about that dance?
I'd love to.
Oh.
Oh.
Fancy.
You know, if there's anything
I can do to make tonight
more memorable for you,
just let me know.
There might be one thing.
There he is!
I see you have used your powers
to change skin like chameleon.
But hair stills gives you away.
Yeah, about that,
I've gotta be honest.
I'm not really a Banjak.
I'm just a Nate.
How can I prove it to you?
Banjak no float.
Strange for sea creature, I know.
Whoo hoo!
Huh, you no Banjak!
You fake.
You float and purple hair
wash away?
Oh, the chlorine!
Hmph.
Come on, I'm a talented guy.
Didn't you see me throw down
that rap?
I gotta pee.
Come on, Kids, who's ready to dance?
Whoo!
And now, Moxie Cruise Lines
is proud to present
our croon-tabulous,
mysterioso guest...
international recording artist,
Cody Simpson!
Whoo-hoo!
♪ There's no way to say this
song's about someone else ♪
♪ Every time you're not in my arms ♪
♪ I start to lose myself
♪ Someone please pass me my shades ♪
♪ Don't let 'em see me down
♪ You have taken over my days ♪
♪ So tonight I'm going out
♪ Oh I'm feeling like
♪ There is no better place
than right by your side ♪
♪ I had a little taste
♪ And I'll only spoil the
party anyway ♪
♪ 'Cause all the girls are
looking fine ♪
♪ But you're the only one on
my mind ♪
♪ La da dee, La da dee doo ♪
♪ La da da me, la da da you
♪ La da dee, la da dee doo ♪
♪ There's only me there's
only you ♪
Wait, Ellie!
Ellie!
Cody Simpson is your mystery guy!
What?
Yeah, right.
Look.
See!
That's why he was so weird
to you at the rehearsal!
Wait, you're saying one of the
biggest pop stars in the world
has a crush on me
and even wrote a song about it?
Stranger things have happened.
Especially on this cruise ship.
♪ I don't know what to say next ♪
♪ I'm feeling like
♪ There is no better place
than right by your side ♪
♪ I had a little taste
Another cruise,
another stunning success!
You know, I'm always on
the look-out for families
who aren't getting along
and I find a way to bring
them together.
I haven't failed yet.
And after that you watch your
handiwork dressed as a clown?
That's creepy, Dude.
Those children are nightmares!
I finally got my hands
on those pictures
and those kids are going down!
Um, I'm curious as to what
you think of my new watch.
What?
Big deal.
It's a watch.
I don't have time for this.
No, take a really good look
at it.
♪ La da da baby
♪ Oh, I'm feeling like
there is no better place ♪
♪ Than right by your side
I had a little taste ♪
♪ And I'll only spoil the
party anyway ♪
♪ 'Cause all the girls are
looking fine ♪
♪ But you're the only one
on my mind ♪
♪ La da dee, la da dee doo ♪
Is this great?
Oh!
♪ La da dee, la da dee doo ♪
♪ When you're gone I'll think
of you ♪
Come on, rock it out, Cody!
♪ La da dee doo
♪ When you're gone I'll think
of you ♪♪
Come on, let's go.
Moxie Cruise Lines congratulates
all of its guests on a
successful evening.
Thank you for a voyage to remember.
Hurry up!
Ellie, Ellie!
Come on, here.
It's your last chance,
you can do this!
Cody, uh...
Hi, um, I'm sorry that I
missed our date!
I was hypnotized and have like
zero memory
of the whole night!
All I had was your text message,
and I had no idea who
you were until now!
But, if you give me another chance,
there will be a lot more
"Only Me"s and "Only You"s,
I promise!
Okay, maybe I came on a
little strong.
And way too cheesy.
Go.
Now that's the girl I remember.
Brave, gutsy,
willing to take chances,
maybe a little overboard
on the science jargon sometimes.
But it makes you original.
Really?
That's why you like me?
Of course!
Plus, you knew I wanted
that sea lion set free,
and you helped make that happen.
Oh, uh... yeah.
Funny story, we sort of, um,
lost him.
Shh.
So can I see you again?
Sure.
If you didn't already notice,
I do have a helicopter.
What did we miss?
Yeah, what's going on?
Oh, nothing.
But since we're all here,
let's take another photo.
I'd like to update my status.
Let's do it!
What?
Let's try this again!
All right.
♪ There's no way to say this
song's about someone else ♪
♪ Every time you're not in my arms ♪
♪ I start to lose myself
♪ Someone please pass me my shades ♪
♪ Don't let 'em see me down
♪ You have taken over my days ♪
♪ So tonight I'm going out
♪ Oh I'm feeling like
♪ There is no better place
than right by your side
♪ I had a little taste
♪ And I'll only spoil the
party anyway ♪
♪ 'Cause all the girls are
looking fine ♪
♪ But you're the only one on
my mind ♪
♪ La da dee, La da dee doo ♪
♪ La da da me, la da da you
♪ La da dee, la da dee doo ♪
♪ There's only me there's
only you ♪
♪ La da dee, la da dee doo ♪
♪ La da da me, la da da you
♪ La da dee, la da dee doo ♪
Get it, get it.
Get it, do it.
♪ This place is packed with people ♪
♪ But your face is all I see
♪ And the music's way too loud ♪
♪ All these pretty girls around ♪
♪ They're just dressing to impress ♪
♪ But the thought of you
alone has got me spun ♪
♪ And I don't know what to
say next ♪
♪ I'm feeling like there is
no better place ♪
♪ Than right by your side
I had a little taste ♪
♪ And I'll only spoil... ♪
♪ Waking up
♪ The pedal's down,
my eyes are closed ♪
♪ No control
♪ Whoa-oh-oh
Sun, water, beaches, gorgeous sunsets.
Yes!
This cruise is going to be great!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!
This isn't happening!
What? What?
What is it?
I can't find my Ziggpad!
We have to go back.
What if it's gone?
I'm ruined!
All my work... years!
It's...
Ellie. Ellie?
Ellie. Ell...
Ellie. Ellie! Ellie!
Hmm?
Ziggpad!
Oh.
Ellie!
Sorry.
Here ya go.
What did I tell you kids
about never touching this.
Hmm.
Yes!
Oh!
My "Snobby Squirrels" app
is all ready to go!
I just wish I had one more thing
to push it over the top.
Like a catchy jingle that
makes you want to pound
your head against the wall
to make it stop?
That's exactly what it needs!
Knew there was a reason
I married you.
Okay... (Muttering)
Whoa, they got water polo!
That must be a pretty big pool
to fit all those horses.
Sometimes I think Nate has to
be kidding.
Yeah.
Hey, maybe you should just
go back to obsessing
about everything that might
go wrong on this trip.
Um... global warming has
accelerated incidents
of ocean disasters.
Don't come crying
to me if you can't find a lifeboat.
Yes! Just became a seventh-level
Master Thief of Mythonia!
Oh, that's so awesome...
said no one ever.
Good one!
Come on Piper, leave Cam alone.
He's not bothering you.
Don't worry, Sis.
I've become adept at tuning
her out.
Along with most of reality.
Okay, really?
Knock it off, Kids!
Look I know it's been
difficult since
your Mom and I got married, but...
it's time for us to come
together as a family.
Mm-hmm.
The Jensens...
Not again.
And the Bauers...
Are now the Jensen-Bauers.
We're all in the same boat.
Well, not yet we aren't.
Uh, no. Uh-uh.
'Cause we're... gonna be...
Come on, you guys,
your Dad has a lot riding
on this product launch,
so all of you need to be on your
absolute best behavior, okay?
Yeah, and word is the new boss,
Mr. Bragg, is real tough.
Okay, what do you think of this?
♪ When the Bumpkin Beavers
are to blame ♪
♪ And mayhem and mischief
are their aim ♪
♪ The Snobby Squirrels
can surely claim ♪
♪ They're ready for action
and always... ♪
Lame.
Not the word I was looking for.
Hmm.
Kids there's so many
fun things to do.
You're gonna love this.
Look, there's even a sea lion
named Schnitzel!
Aww.
Ahoy there, Mateys!
I am Barnacle the Clown,
your Maritime Merrymaker!
Ooh, hats!
Okay.
Yeah!
Oh, no, I'm not wearing this.
What's with the lovely lass?
She has Coulrophobia.
Uh...
It's an unreasonable fear of clowns.
I'm sorry, "Unreasonable"?
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
And just when I thought this
trip couldn't get any better.
Okay, you're breathing on me really hard.
Could you not?
Hats for everyone!
Oh! Oh, my gosh!
Okay, lets go!
Keep up. Keep up.
Look at that!
Look at...
This is gonna be so much fun!
I know.
Mr. Bragg!
How are you, Sir?
"Bowser," isn't it?
It's Bauer, actually.
Uh, huh.
This is my wife, Sophia.
Nice to meet you.
Hello.
And this must be your lovely wife?
This is my 16-year-old
daughter, Melina.
Oh, right!
Of course.
Cool belt.
Well, the outfit definitely
needed something.
You better stay sharp there, Berger.
After this launch,
we're gonna have millions
of eyes watching us.
I am expecting great things
from you and your app.
"App-solutely," Sir!
That's funny.
Oh, good.
Attention: The Ziggle Product Launch
will begin in 56 hours and 5 minutes.
Shopping?
Yeah, let's go.
Dude, what are you doing?
Horrible.
Ah!
Who throw that!
Hmm?
He's talkin' to me?
Do not insulting us with
feeble paper crowns.
Ooh.
Hello, beautiful.
Hey, avert vision orbs from sister!
Vi... Vision orbs?
Move aside, lowly little runts.
Why you blocking my goings?
Gee, what's his problem?
Probably afraid of clowns or something.
Yeah.
Ooh!
Ah!
Who's ready for a little
Ice Cream Bon Voyage Party
down by the old swimmin' hole
before we shove off, hmm?
You guys should go ahead,
have some fun, right?
We'll meet you back at the cabin.
Mwah!
Bye.
Really? You're gonna leave us here
with a strange man in makeup
who has seaweed for hair
when criminal activity
aboard cruise ships
is at an all-time high?
Oh, wow.
Oh!
I'm gonna call you "Chipper"!
Moxie Cruise Lines invites
all guests
to the pool deck as we prepare
for departure.
Gather round as old
Barnacle shows you how
to make your very own ice cream!
Yes!
Oh, hey, whoa, Ellie.
I don't even know you.
Okay, you will pick your ingredients
and then we'll toss 'em
into this here mixing bowl
full of creamy goodness.
And then old Barnacle is
gonna pour
some of his magic potion.
And we'll toast...
To the voyage that awaits us!
Oh, cool!
Whoo!
Ooh.
Are you kidding me?
Now the clown is messing
around with liquid nitrogen!
That stuff is like 320 below zero.
It can snap steel in half!
That was awesome!
I wanna try!
Hey!
You almost cost me a life!
Like you even had one
in the first place.
Okay, do you ever shut up?
Do you ever try and make me?
That was fun!
Liquid Nitrogen is in the pool!
Cannon ball!
My game! Not my game,
not my game, not my game.
My new dress!
No, no, no, no!
Not my game.
Not my game.
Polo!
Ah, Ellie overboard!
Ellie overboard!
Mayday!
It's the shallow end, Ellie.
Attention: As your Moxie
Cruise sets sail,
please join us for dinner and
a show.
Oh, what do you think?
Am I S.F.I.H.?
S.F.I.H.?
So fresh it hurts!
It hurts all right.
Whoa, where'd you get that?
Borrowed it from Mom.
Perfect.
Well, then why are you
taking it off?
So she doesn't see me in it, duh.
I'll just throw it on later.
What...
Oh, hey, whoa!
Hands off!
This is an original Alfonse Moogli.
I worked three summers
to pay for it.
Iceberg!
Whoa!
I knew it!
Where is my life vest?
It's the password to the safe.
I don't want to forget,
so I'm telling you guys.
My Ziggpad's in there
and it is completely
off-limits until after the presentation.
No music videos...
no online shopping...
no nothing.
Got it?
That means you, Sticky Fingers.
What? Don't look at me.
I never remember passwords.
Now, I want you to imagine...
you're standing at the South Pole...
in your underwear.
Boxers or briefs?
On the count of three,
you shall return from
your polar journey,
fully clothed.
One, two, three!
Consider your mind exploded
by The Indescribable Paul!
Whoo-hoo!
Now, for the finale,
I'll need a few volunteers.
Uh-oh!
Okay, there is not a shred
of scientific evidence
to prove hypnosis is real.
It's a total crock.
How about these four lovely
children right here?
That's you guys!
Get on up there.
Getting up in front of a crowd?
Definitely not my thing.
I'll go.
It's not like
you can penetrate this steel
trap anyway.
Well, it's better than sitting
here, bored out of my mind.
Careful.
Don't embarrass yourself.
Hmm.
I want you to relax your body
and simply focus on
the sound of my voice,
nothing more.
In honor of tomorrow night's
highly-anticipated performance
of "Pirate-tacular, The Musical,"
I want you to imagine that
you're a Merry Band Of Buccaneers.
Modern or Colonial-era?
Just...
You know...
Everyone breathe...
and concentrate on the sound
of my voice.
As you listen,
you'll find your eye lids
getting heavier
and heavier until it's impossible
to keep them open.
That's it.
I've never seen them this quiet.
Yeah...
From now until sunrise,
I want you to imagine
that you're a bunch
of plundering pirates at sea.
In three...
two...
But I...
I'm a steel trap.
One!
Hmm?
Hmm? What? Hmm?
I... I'm blind!
No!
No...
(Muttering)
Oh, whoa.
Whoa, guys, get up.
Who trashed this place?
Hmm?
Oh, hey.
Oh!
Did you do this?
Um, good morning?
Is this a...
What the...
There's a leg handcuffed
to my arm!
Whoa!
Oh!
Why are there ping pong balls
all over the floor?
Mom and Dad are gonna kill
you guys.
You have an anchor tattoo
on your neck.
Hmm? Tattoo?
Oh, whew, it rubs off.
What is going on?
Ah! Oh!
Oh, no, no, no!
This is not funny!
Oh! Eww!
What the...
O... M... G!
My hair!
Ah.
Oh!
Did you... Nate?
Cool!
Nate?
Morning.
What is that stuff?
Hmm?
Cool!
I'm a mutant!
Hello? Um, guys?
Hello?
Nate, Nate!
Get in the shower and rinse
that off right now.
Geez, okay, "Mom."
Ridiculous!
Seriously guys, what is going on?
The last thing I remember was that
magician guy hypnotizing us...
into thinking we were pirates!
Okay, we gotta get this room
clean before Mom and Dad...
Honey... let them have their privacy.
It'll help them bond.
You're right.
See ya at brunch!
We just need to get dressed!
Right.
We'll meet you at the restaurant!
Oh, God.
This stuff's not coming off!
Grape?
Something funny here?
Yeah, it's grape.
Oh! Whoa.
Oh, no.
Oh, no!
Oh, God!
No, no, no!
No, is this Dad's Ziggpad?
Please don't be broken!
It's gone!
Oh, no!
This is not good!
Oh, Man!
Okay.
Oh, please be in the safe,
please be in the safe...
It's not in the safe!
But this glove is.
Give it to me.
There's something inside!
Okay, all right...
nobody jump to conclusions.
Maybe Dad brought his tablet
with him?
Without the cover?
Okay, let's just relax
and go to brunch...
Wha... uh, excuse me?
What am I supposed to do with this?
Oh, yeah, let's get you
something for that.
"See Other Glove."
Huh.
Ew. What is this doing here?
It smells like, ugh, mothballs!
Ugh.
Why is there a seal in our closet?
I believe that's a...
A sea lion.
What the...
It smells so bad!
Ah! It's gonna eat my face!
Ugh!
I guess that means
he likes you?
I don't know.
Ha!
Well, there's no accounting for taste.
Ew!
Actually, he appears to be
an excellent judge of character.
What's this?
I wish I didn't do this.
Ugh.
Ew! You grabbed that from the puke?
That is so nasty!
Can everyone please try
and stay focused?
We need to go meet Mom and Dad!
Let's put it in the bathroom
for now.
Worry about it later.
Mm-mm.
Okay, that's it.
Come here, Puppy.
Yeah, you got him, Nate.
Come on, Boy.
You stink. Yeah.
Keep him moving.
Come on.
Seriously?
It's working.
Yeah, you better not use
my toothbrush, either!
On second thought, it's all yours.
Just make sure you clean it.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Okay, guys, be cool.
I got this.
This leg is killing my back.
At least you're not purple!
Attention passengers,
don't forget to put your name...
Uh, excuse me, Young Lady.
Have you seen my daughter, Melina?
Um, no.
Haven't seen her.
Oh, that's strange,
she usually checks in by now.
That's all right, I'll check her room.
Thank you.
That's weird.
What's that about?
Well, okay.
Hey, you!
Hey.
Took you guys long enough
to get here.
Um, yeah...
Ellie had explosive diarrhea.
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
Nate... you're purple.
Uh, yes!
Thanks for noticing!
It's my new...
My new, uh...
sunscreen.
Yeah.
Super-protective.
And what's with that awful coat?
Oh, yeah, no.
I'm... I'm totally fine.
They really have the A/C
cranked up in here.
Oh, uh, Dad!
Happen to have that Ziggpad handy?
Oh, yeah!
I'd love to take a peek
at that app again.
I told you, that stays in the
safe until the presentation.
Oh.
Oh.
And for security measures,
it's got
the only copy of my
"Snobby Squirrels" app.
Um... I have "Pulpaphobia."
Mm.
Fear of pulp.
Mm-hmm.
It's strong in here.
Oh, yeah!
Is that new?
Never heard of it.
Hello there, Newcomers.
You're all welcome to help
yourselves to our
Briny Brunch Buffet.
That sounds disgusting.
Well, it's better than last
night's "Squidsicles."
Ahoy there, Kids!
Oh, ahh!
It never ends.
Now I hope you're all enjoying
the second day of this
fun-tastical cruise-a-majiggathon!
Barnacle wanted to let you all know...
Mm!
That tomorrow night...
After the big Ziggle Launch,
there's gonna be a super-swell
farewell gala
featuring a concert with
a top secret mystery guest!
Ooh!
Mm!
It's gonna put the "Dig" in "Shindig"!
And you are going to look dazzling
in that new necklace I got you.
Ooh, thank you.
I was nervous about bringing it...
Oh, no!
Where's the necklace?
But this is the perfect occasion...
It's not in here.
To finally break it out!
Aww... um...
yeah, I'm late!
We gotta go!
We gotta go play Underwater Croquet!
Yeah!
But you have to eat!
(Muttering)
What about the Briny Brunch?
The Ziggle Product Launch will
begin in 35 hours.
Okay, all I know is
Mom's jewelry was in my purse,
and now it's gone!
Wait a minute...
isn't that Melina's belt?
What's that red stuff?
Okay, I don't want to point
out the obvious,
but we know Melina is missing,
and that looks like...
Okay, if you guys don't
shut up, you can add me
to the long list of things
you're scared of!
Look, our top priority right
now is to find Dad's Ziggpad,
or we're gonna be grounded
for life!
Great, we're at Defcon One and all
she can do is update her status.
Ugh, I'm checking my feed
from last night, "Snarknado."
Geesh.
Maybe we posted a photo or something.
All right.
That's weird.
I have a text message from "Unknown."
Well, what's it say?
Uh...
Nothing.
Hmm.
Wh...
Thank you!
"There's only me.
There's only you."
"See you at noon."
Okay, who is this obviously
insane person?
I know. Cuckoo!
I have no idea.
The number is blocked.
Wait, why are there pictures
of me and that
cute waiter guy?
Maybe he helped you off
Bragg's daughter?
Perhaps it was
an ill-fated love triangle.
Look, Ellie...
Okay, okay!
Bigger fish to fry, People!
Okay, let's construct a timeline.
We know that we saw
the hypnotism show at 8:00, right?
And I took this photo with
that waiter at 9:23.
Speaking of fish, shouldn't
we get that big blubber-butt
out the room before Mom and
Dad get back?
Actually, technically speaking,
a sea lion is not a fish,
it's a mammal.
Hold it right there!
You're all coming with me.
What? I'm sorry?
Us?
March!
Now!
I mean, Ma'am!
Ma'am! Yes, Ma'am.
I'm... I'm marchin'!
I got my eye on you.
My advice is to confess now
and save yourselves a lot of trouble.
Confess to which thing?
I mean, what thing?
'Cause we didn't do anything.
Why are you purple?
Oh, you're just seeing
my powerful aura.
You know, some say
it's almost blinding,
so you might just wanna
look away while you still can,
'cause, uh...
Excuse me, but who are you exactly?
Head of ship security.
H.O.S.S., for short.
And the four of you are in
a boat-load of trouble.
Ma'am, we have no idea
what you're talking about.
Mm-mm.
Why are you wearing a house coat,
Young Lady?
Hmm?
It's 90 degrees out!
And you smell like mothballs.
Um, uh, is smelling like
mothballs against the law?
No, it's not.
But let me show you what is,
Miss Smartypants.
Arr!
Hand over the food!
That's us?
I... I don't know.
We're going to jail.
This was last night's midnight
buffet after it closed.
The costumes were stolen.
We've had to cancel tonight's performance
of "Pirate-tacular, the Musical"!
Oh, no!
Not "Pirate-tacular"!
"The Musical"!
Yup, "The Musical."
Look, uh, Hoss...
Mm-hmm?
We have no idea who those adorable,
merry scamps might be,
but it really just looks
like some harmless fun.
Harmless?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah-huh.
Does this look harmless to you?
Aye-aye, Captain!
Overboard!
Imagine that.
Throw it overboard.
That's a body!
What?
We're in trouble.
Is that us?
That was definitely us.
Want to tell me what's going
on here?
Huh?
Or why Schnitzel the seal was
kidnapped from the aquarium?
A sea lion.
Shut up!
What?
He... he said, um...
He said "Stop Lyin'."
Mm-hmm.
As in, you know, "Girl,
you stop your lyin'."
I will not.
I mean, I am not!
Stop confusing me!
Face it, I got you all on tape.
Now...
who's ready to talk?
I am.
No.
She doesn't want to talk.
By all means... let her speak!
That footage would never
stand up in court.
If you had clear images
of the perpetrator's faces,
you would've shown them
to us by now.
Instead, you have nothing more
than circumstantial evidence.
You simply can't prove beyond
a shadow of a doubt that
that was us.
Mm-hmm.
So either arrest us...
And risk losing your job...
Or release us posthaste, forthwith.
You have made a very powerful
enemy here today.
From this moment on, I am
going to be on you
like stink on skunk.
Stink on skunk.
What?
Now, get outta here!
Okay!
Okay!
Yes, Ma'am... Sir!
Sorry!
Whew, that was close!
But at least we got
a few more things to add to
the timeline.
The security footage showed
that we were on the deck
by the pool at 1:12 am.
And we were also at
the midnight buffet.
If we could just figure out when
the midnight buffet was!
Huh?
Man. Oh!
Okay, um, hello?
Can we please focus on the
biggest revelation here?
Piper threw Melina overboard
because she wanted her belt!
"A," No! No, no, no, I didn't,
and B... you were there too!
Wha... so, I'm an accessory?
Over an accessory?
Guys, enough already.
This is serious!
We've got to find Dad's Ziggpad.
If we don't, we're all gonna
be thrown overboard!
How did Schnitzel the sea lion
get out of the bathroom?
He didn't get... the stairs!
Oh, no, he's loose!
Come on, are we sure that's Schnitzel?
You know, a lot of fish look...
Yup, that's Schnitzel.
Yeah.
We can't just leave him
wandering around the ship!
We'll divide and conquer.
Ellie and Cam keep looking
for Dad's Ziggpad.
Nate and I will go talk
to that hypnotist.
And if anyone finds Schnitzel,
return him back to his show.
We'll meet back at the pool.
All right, on three...
One, two, three... break!
What the heck?
Oh.
This...
Um...
Nate, get back here.
Shh! Shut up! Shush!
I've been expecting you.
I'll bet you have!
I assume you're here
to return my handcuffs?
Yeah, about that... you wouldn't
happen to have the key,
would you?
'Cause, you know...
Any chance, that you...
Yeah, we don't have that.
The key is inside all of you.
Can you please just tell us
exactly what happened last night?
Isn't it obvious?
You became a Merry Band Of Pirates.
What?
You completely ruined our lives!
Ruined them?
Or did I vastly improve them?
Um, hmm, let's see.
If you haven't noticed,
I'm purple!
He wasn't like that before.
The Indescribable Paul
only sees what's within.
Can you just try not to be weird
for one minute and tell us
how to get our memories back?
He sucks.
Awful, isn't it?
Four individual notes that clash.
Oh, brother.
But force them to work
together in harmony...
They create beautiful music.
Oh, I get it.
It's a metaphor.
See, we're the four notes
that clash and were gonna...
Shut up, Nate.
Yep.
I wish you the best of luck
in finding your answers.
Now, if you'll excuse me...
This is ridiculous!
How are we supposed to find
the right tablet?
Literally everyone in here has one.
Hmm?
"Ellie, where were you?"
Okay, that's weird.
Well, now we know where
you were supposed to meet
your mystery date.
Ha! I bet it's killing you
that you don't know who it is.
Okay, please, I have way more
important things to worry about.
Okay, you guys!
That guy Paul was of no help.
Yeah, and no sign of Schnitzel.
A-ha!
This guy?
No way.
The fight is on!
Main square, 4:00.
We will duel.
What?
Why?
Because I have accepted
of your challenge,
when you slap my face with this!
The other glove!
Look, whatever happened,
I really need that glove back.
You only receive of glove
by defeat of me.
Huh?
Oh! Banjak!
Huh? Hmm?
You are purple!
You are sea monster!
This may be a cultural difference...
Yeah.
'Cause I'm no Banjak.
4:00, we fight for your glove,
lowly little runt!
Ah, ha!
Bye!
All right.
Okay, can this day get any weirder?
Seriously, Piper!
Stop ogling him.
We've got a job to do!
I'm not ogling him.
I'm ogling his watch.
It's insanely expensive.
How can a waiter afford
something like that?
I don't know.
Maybe it's a fake.
Or maybe he's a thief.
Come on, we need to follow him.
Guess it's just me and you, Man.
Me and... What?
Or just me.
Oh, we lost that waiter guy.
I'll bet he's got Mom's
jewelry and Dad's tablet.
Probably snatched them from me
when we took those photos!
It's always the cute ones.
Wait, I know that voice.
♪ There's no way to say this song's ♪
♪ About someone else
♪ Every time you're not in my arms ♪
It's Cody Simpson!
♪ I start to lose myself
He's the mystery performer
for Dad's Ziggle Launch.
O.M.G.
No way!
♪ Don't you let 'em see me down ♪
♪ Oh, you have taken over my days ♪
♪ So tonight I'm going out ♪
A little more guitar in the
monitors and we should be good.
Thank you guys.
I'll see you at the show.
Okay, Cody...
You're just so incredible.
What are you doing here?
Oh, so sorry to interrupt.
We're just looking for somebody.
Somebody?
Clearly it wasn't me, was it?
Good going Ellie, now Cody
Simpson officially hates us!
Wha... What did I do?
Melina!
Oh, my gosh, you're alive!
Eww, what's wrong with you?
Get off me!
Okay.
Oh...
Wait, why do you have my
Mom's jewelry?
Nice memory.
You traded me your jewelry
for my belt last night.
Which, I have to say,
looked pretty ridiculous
with your whole pirate get-up.
Look, I really need that back.
Forget it,
I'm not taking that belt back.
You spilled cherry sauce
or something all over it.
Uh-oh. We were supposed to meet
Mom and Dad five minutes ago!
Oh! Let's go!
Like stink on skunk!
Hey, are you guys having fun?
Yup!
Mm-hmm.
It just never seems to end.
Sorry for the late notice, but...
we have to back out of
the family port excursion.
You guys go.
Bergstrom!
What happened to your leg, Sir?
Huh?
Oh, well now, that's a funny story.
I lost it to a hungry
Komodo Dragon on
a golf course in Osaka in '91.
You know, last night, I took
off my prosthetic to go for
a little moonlit dip...
somebody snatched it.
What?
I ask you,
what kind of inhuman villain
is going to run off
with another man's leg?
Beats me!
Bergstrom!
Yes, Sir?
Let's go.
Yes, Sir.
Catch up to you later.
Bye.
Yeah, bye.
See ya later!
I have to get his leg back to him!
Okay, Guys,
we need to search the ship
for Dad's Ziggpad while
everyone's on shore.
It's got to be here somewhere.
Oh, it's almost 4:00.
I have to meet that crazy guy
in the town square.
Cameron, that guy wants to
fight you!
I'm not gonna fight him.
But I have to get that glove back!
"See Other Glove," remember?
There's got to be a clue in it.
(Chattering)
You just worry about getting
the glove.
I'll figure out some sort of distraction
to get you out of the fight.
Yeah.
Okay? Break!
What is this?
Ah, look who is not made
of chickens after all.
Look, can we talk about this?
Enough of your chatter!
We fight for the glove now!
Banjak!
Aah! What? Where?
Oh, right.
Banjaks are purple.
Oh, I gotta get that glove!
We duel for the glove...
There it is!
And for honor!
Whoa, whoa!
Here goes nothing!
What are we doing here?
Well, remember that liquid
nitrogen from the pool?
There's got to be more
around here somewhere.
I thought we were trying
to get the leg off.
Are you not familiar with even
the simplest fundamentals of science?
Oh, well, I... just...
Oh, here.
This will freeze the locks of
the cuffs,
which will shatter after enough
pressure is applied.
Mm-hmm!
Ah!
Hey!
You were the guys who raided
the kitchen
and stole all that grape
yogurt last night.
We were?
Yeah, you were dressed up
like pirates, shouting
"Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of Fro-yo"!
Are you gonna turn us in?
Me? Nah. I thought it was funny.
But he didn't...
That guy has got no sense of humor.
(Native language)
Ingmar is an expert in the
Swedish Art Of "Fishjitsu."
I'm sorry, "Fishjitsu"?
Yeah...
(Native language)
Bah!
He's this mad about stolen yogurt?
Ah, nah, but he was furious
about that ice sculpture
you threw overboard.
Ice sculpture... overboard...
Yeah, it was the spitting image
of his beloved grandmother.
(Native language)
We should... I'm gonna go.
Okay, yeah.
(Native language)
Whew!
Wow, that was close!
We almost just got fish mongered
or whatever he said.
Yeah, but...
I totally could've taken him
with the leg!
Yeah, I know you could have.
Come on, let's stow the stump
and find that waiter guy.
Okay, let's hit it!
This isn't fair!
I've never done this before!
You cannot run! Nate! Nate!
A little help!
You are irresistible,
little purple Banjak.
Okay, sure.
I do impressions, too.
Nate! Nate!
Ah!
Oh, you'll have to do better
than that!
I think I got this.
Hyah!
It's just like a video game.
Aah!
Whoa! Ah, ah!
Aah!
You all right, Man?
Wha... Huh... Whoo!
Yes, I did it!
Take the glove!
It's the perfect cover.
He scopes everyone's valuables
while he's serving them.
That girl has no shame what so ever!
I'll be doing the Fashion
Frenzy event tomorrow.
Maybe you can stop by
and cheer me on?
It'd be nice to have
someone other than
my father in my corner.
I think I might be working.
Maybe you can rearrange
your schedule for me?
I swear, I'm gonna throw
that flirt overboard...
For real this time!
Come on!
We need to get you out of this.
You're a little late!
Oh, sorry.
I was just...
No way, you got it!
Yeah.
And the clue inside says,
"X Marks The Spot."
Great.
More pirate bologna.
That's not getting old at all.
Oh, we've got to get in that room!
Hey, what are you doing?
Softball.
Starting pitcher.
Huh.
This guy's been busy.
Yeah!
What's in there?
Oh! It's not Dad's.
Hyah! Yah!
Caught you red-handed this time,
breaking and entering!
Try arguing your way out of
this one, Miss Lady Lawyerpants!
We just discovered a major
thief on board!
You should be thanking us.
Yeah!
What's going on?
Aah!
Aah!
Oh!
What'd I do?
We know you stole all
that stuff, Pretty Boy.
Fess up!
Where's our Dad's tablet?
Is that what you think?
I'd do that to you after all
the fun
we had hanging out last night?
Just answer the question.
Those are gifts from my father.
He's the CEO and owner
of Moxie Enterprises,
the multi-national conglomerate
of which this
cruise line is a subsidiary.
I'm sorry, wait.
So, you're the owner's son?
You wait tables.
I'm learning the family
business from the ground up.
Ah.
I'm terribly sorry, Sir.
I will take these lawbreakers
to the brig now if you don't mind.
That won't be necessary.
I invited them in.
They're here legally.
But they're responsible
for a wave of...
Unless you want me to press charges
for being Tasered without cause,
I suggest you be leaving.
Immediately.
Buh-bye.
Wow.
Thanks.
I got to ask,
what made last night so awesome
that you would do this for us?
Simply put, you were the most spontaneous,
sweet, and fun girl I've ever met.
This one right here?
Shut up, Ellie.
And where exactly did we hang out?
On the upper deck, under the stars.
Beginning to think it might
not have been
as memorable for you.
Well, last night was a little... fuzzy,
but you definitely seem like
someone worth remembering.
I'll tell you what.
All is forgiven if you save
me a dance
at the big launch tomorrow night.
Sounds like a date.
Attention: The Ziggle Product Launch
will begin in 16 hours and 58 minutes.
There!
I think we have it all cleaned up.
So, nobody's found anything?
Mnh-mnh.
There's got to be some sort
of clue
or something that we've
missed or overlooked.
Whoo! Guys, this loofah thing
really does work wonders!
Check it out.
No way, dude!
You got it off!
Well, almost.
What's this?
Oh.
Yeah.
This is weird.
This Ping-Pong ball has a
number on it.
B-12?
Maybe it's a really big vitamin?
Oh, yeah.
Wait a minute.
Bingo!
It's a bingo ball from the
Senior Bingo Tournament.
Looks like they have
a game every day.
Well, we know we didn't have
the tablet with us
at the Midnight Buffet.
I didn't see it on the video.
Well, maybe we lost it
right before then.
We've got to get into that
bingo hall.
When's the next game?
Uh...
Doors don't open for half an hour.
What do we do until then?
I still need to get
Mom's jewelry back from
Melina somehow.
Yeah, and I need to
return her dad's leg.
Hmm...
Whoo!
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!
Hey, Kiddies, who's ready
to join me for Fashion Frenzy?
Whoo!
Now, for the special contest,
I'll need some special volunteers.
Come on now, don't be shy.
Ooh, yes!
Yes, you.
Okay, now, the rules are simple.
You've got three minutes to go
into this old trunk of junk
and pick out whatever
gives you the most
swaggerific, spectacular-docious outfit
as judged by our audience
and Barnacle's patented
Whoopie-Noise-O-Meter!
Whoo!
Good luck.
I really need that jewelry back.
Like the clown said, good luck.
How about this?
If I win Fashion Frenzy,
you return the jewelry.
What if I win?
What do you have that
I could possibly want?
Psst, Piper.
Listen, you are hands down
the most fashionable person
I know.
Just bet the Moogli.
If I had a purse like that,
I'd bet it on you.
Everyone gather round.
We're gonna need all of you.
No way.
That's clearly fake.
It's a real Alfonse Moogli.
Signed and everything.
Deal?
Definitely.
Now, you're gonna jump
into that trunk,
and once you've selected
your items,
go backstage and get
all dolly-dolled up.
On your mark, get set,
Frenzy!
Ooh, I like these shoes.
Ooh, that's so cute!
Yeah.
This is gonna work so well.
That's cute.
Go for the boa!
Get the boa!
Aah!
Time's up! Time's up!
Time's up!
Got it! Got it!
Got it! Got it!
I'm glad we got it.
Okay, I'll sneak over and put
the leg
by his crutches so he can't
miss it.
What if he sees you?
Um, uh, just signal me
if he starts to move.
Just keep it subtle.
Now ol' Barnacle's gonna bring out
the contestants one by one,
and the loudest applause
will tell us the winner.
First contestant!
Make some noise, people!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Ooh, 60.
Not bad.
You know,
the new Ziggle product launch
is more than a presentation.
It's a spectacle.
Wait, no!
No!
Ooh, second contestant!
Yes!
Oh, it's energy and rhythm
working in unison and being
in the moment.
I mean, that's the Ziggle
philosophy in a nutshell.
75! Whoo!
Third contestant!
84!
Yes!
Fourth contestant!
No!
Oh!
92!
Yeah!
Ellie's gonna get caught!
Hey, Bragg, look over here!
Hey! Look at me!
Hmm?
99!
Ooh!
Why, I haven't seen readings
like that
in all my two years of hosting!
But we have one more contestant, so...
92!
We need more clapping.
She's gonna lose!
Come on, what do we do?
Hey, I've got an idea!
Change-up.
100!
Whoo-hoo!
Yeah, Piper!
Come on, Sis!
Whoo!
Winner!
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Hoo-hoo!
Ah, yes.
Did such a good job.
That's the best one I've seen yet.
That's my leg.
Whoa, Baby, where did you go?
Looks like you're in good shape.
Still fits like a leg.
Let's dance! Whoo!
Hey, Guys.
Congratulations.
You really earned this.
Yours was insane.
That was a total
"Girl On Fire" moment.
Your outfit was amazing, Melina.
It could have gone either way.
Maybe we can hang out sometime
and trade some fashion tips?
I'd like that.
Oh, we can still make the
Senior Bingo Tournament.
Okay, I got to return this stuff
back to the safe before Mom
gets dressed.
Uh-oh.
What?
It's a Senior Bingo Tournament.
They're never gonna let
a bunch of kids in.
I got this one.
Out of my way, Whippersnapper!
Grandpa came to play.
G-50.
I-20.
O-62.
Excuse me, Fellow Senior,
were you here the other night?
I'm here for every game.
Can't win one to save my life, though.
I-25.
Did anything unusual happen?
No, not that I remember.
Oh, unless you mean those
pirates ransacking the place.
Oh... that's exactly
what I mean.
Oh, they were having a fine
old time.
One of them stole the cash box,
but he left all the money.
That's terrible pirating
if you ask me.
Oh, and one stole
Mrs. Fogelman's coat.
But, she deserves it.
Miserable, cheating old biddy.
Yeah, Fogelman,
I'm talking to you!
I-17.
Did you happen to notice
if any one of them
had a Ziggpad Tablet?
A what?
Oh, it's one of those, uh,
newfangled thingamagidgets.
Well, there's one way to check.
There must be something I'm missing.
They took a picture.
You took a picture?
Yep!
Yep, those salty sea dogs
were as close to me as you
are now.
Can I take a peek at your camera?
Sure.
O-16.
Where's the picture?
It's inside, silly.
I'm gonna get the film developed
later this afternoon.
I... I don't understand!
I'll take care of that for
you, Ma'am.
Ship's courtesy.
Well, that's mighty nice of you.
Well, well, well.
What do we have here?
G-59.
Who's lucky today?
You got Bingo!
Oh, my.
Oh, my gracious.
Bingo!
Bingo!
You've just won a fabulous
marine sports package,
complete with turbo-injected
hydro blasters!
Guaranteed to blast you
30 feet... up in the sky!
A thrill of a lifetime!
Attention, Ziggle Product Launch
will be in 1 hour, 47 minutes.
How are we supposed to
get those pictures?
That's your department,
Master Thief.
Didn't you get like to level
900 or something on that game?
I don't know if I can do it.
Cam, it's the bottom of the ninth,
we're fourth and goal,
and we really need a
three-pointer right now.
Besides, I believe in you, Bro.
Okay, fine.
But we have to work together.
Don't worry,
I've got something in mind
that's so brilliant that
it'll go down in
the history books.
if they ever make history books
about mayhem on cruise ships.
Just wear this.
There she is!
Get ready!
Okay, got it.
Okay, let's see what we've
got here.
Terrible hat...
Bingo!
Ahoy, Matey!
Whoa!
Great Poseidon's Beard!
Whoo!
Thank you!
Ah, thief!
Dude, that was awesome!
Yeah, I can't believe I did that!
Ah! You!
Unh! Thief!
These will show if we had
Dad's Ziggtab at Bingo.
Come on, let's go back to the room
and check these pictures out!
Come on, let's go!
I don't get it.
They know how important
this is to me.
Well, maybe they're
already at the theater.
Have you noticed they've been
acting different lately?
A little... better?
Yeah, It's nice.
We should go on cruises more often.
Attention: The Ziggle Product Launch
will begin in 24 minutes.
I can't believe it.
After all that, we didn't
have Dad's Ziggpad at Bingo.
That was our last hope.
It's game over.
It's gone for good.
It's probably at the bottom
of the ocean by now.
Well, we might as well
go face the consequences.
The least we can do is be there
like we promised Mom and Dad.
Guess that's it, then.
We saved ourselves,
but we couldn't save Dad.
He's going to be publicly humiliated,
fired in front of millions!
We should destroy the evidence.
Although, it's kind of a shame.
Yeah.
We all look so happy together.
Arr!
You know what?
Let's just keep it.
At least we'll have this memory.
Yeah.
Guys?
It's been under our feet
the whole time!
What are you talking about?
Look!
"X" Marks The Spot!
Go for it, Nate!
I got this!
I'm a diggin' machine!
Come on, dig, dig!
You can do it!
Come on, it's gotta be in there.
Come on, Nate, let's go.
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Come on, dig!
Come on!
Come on, we only have 14 minutes.
I'm diggin'!
Okay, come on!
He's almost there!
I see it!
Have we got it?
That's it!
I got it! I got it!
Just keep digging about it, Nate.
Oh! We got it!
Oh!
It's locked!
Ah!
Dad's done, and so are we!
Wait a minute.
What?
What... The key from Schnitzel!
Is that it?
Go!
Do you think that's it?
Open...
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Is it working?
Dude!
We got it!
(Chattering)
We gotta get this back to Dad!
Hurry, come on!
Dad goes on any minute!
Come on! Come on, come on,
come on!
Wait, go, go, go!
Come on, follow me!
All right, come on.
Come on, go!
I think it's this way.
Go, go, go, go, go!
We gotta make it, guys!
We're running out of time!
Let's go, let's go!
Hurry up, hurry up!
Hurry! Hurry, hurry!
We're almost there, come on.
Come on, around the corner.
Run, run, run, run!
Come on, people,
we're running out of time!
Ah!
(Muttering)
Huh?
Ooh!
Hmm?
Whoo!
Hi!
Bingo!
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Ziggle CEO, Balthazar Bragg!
Go baby, go baby, go!
This way!
Don't!
Please, Dad, wait!
Dad, wait, wait, stop!
There you are!
We were worried sick about you.
UH, we were... we were
just off bonding and all.
We wouldn't miss this
for the world!
We're homies now.
Yeah.
Thanks, Kids.
Thank you!
Good evening, good evening, everyone!
That's ri...
I would like to welcome you
to an evening you will never forget!
Okay, I'm up next.
No!
Whoa!
Don't you guys want to hear about...
our personal revelations and...
profound life lessons?
I mean,
parents love that kind of stuff!
I gotta plenty of it, I just...
Uh, yeah honey of course we do,
but... can we do it a little
bit later?
Oh, sure!
Sure.
Okay.
Okay.
Hey!
You're gonna kill it.
Now the new Ziggle Nova
with 3D screen
is going to let you take
video chatting to the third dimension!
A quick charge and we're
ready to go.
You're gonna be awesome.
You all right?
Yep.
(Chatter)
No!
Did it crack?
Oh, Mr. Bragg isn't
just going to fire me,
he's going to light me on fire
and fire me out of a cannon
into a fiery pit of fire!
You...
You gotta tell him to skip me.
We can't skip you.
What?
What if we hard wire a connection
between the tablet's hard
drive and my game player?
We could transfer the app
so you can demo it through
the projector over USB.
Yeah.
That's a great idea, Cam,
it just might work!
We've got to buy some time!
Wait, I have an idea,
but I'm going to need
everybody's help, okay?
Bragg is looking for a spectacle,
we're going to give him one together.
Uh, Nate, can you go out
on stage and stall for us?
I was born to stall.
Um, Piper, we're going to need
some awesome costumes,
and fast.
How fast and how awesome?
Maybe I can help?
I'm pretty good with costumes.
But, don't get me wrong,
Ziggle is also about smiles,
and with that I introduce you to,
the fun-tastic new app,
"Snobby Squirrels"!
Whoa, where is it?
It's a...
It's an incredible new game.
You'll go nuts for it.
Snobby Squirrels!
Ellie, do something, anything!
We need more time!
Snobby Squirrels!
Oh!
Uh... uh...
It appears we're having
some engineering problems.
I'm sure it's nothing to
worry about.
Whoo!
Yeah!
I'll take it from here, Mr. Bragg!
Let me help you.
Thank you very much.
What's up everybody!
Who's ready to be entertained?
Ellie, come on,
put your costume on!
I... I can't go out there.
Crowds are definitely not my thing!
Okay, listen to me,
there's nothing to be worried about.
Now come on,
let's do this for Dad.
Get ready folks
because there's more
where that came from.
Wha... I don't like this.
Come on.
Oh, gosh.
Okay, now listen,
when I say "Snobby"
you say "Squirrels!"
Got it? Okay.
Snobby!
Squirrels!
Snobby!
Squirrels!
Okay.
Come on, come on.
Get back here.
♪ We're the "Snobby Squirrels"
and we came to play ♪
♪ But when those Bumpkin Beavers
get in the way, ♪
♪ We lay down a smack down
and knock 'em in the hay ♪
♪ And that, old chaps,
is how we say "good day" ♪
Huh?
Whoa, Cam! I didn't know
you could play the piano!
You never asked.
Ellie, stop, stop.
Ow!
Ellie, you need to finish this!
Come on!
We need you!
♪ Yo, you Bumpkin Beavers
better watch your tail ♪
♪ Or we'll take you down like
an epic fail ♪
♪ Send you to the past like
a piece of snail mail ♪
♪ You'll tumble down like
Jack and Jill's pail ♪
♪ Uhhh, what?
♪ Just ate you up like
a salad made of kale ♪
♪ For real
Where did you learn to rap?
Sometimes I rap in the shower.
♪ So when the Bumpkin Beavers
are to blame ♪
♪ And mayhem and mischief are
their aim ♪
♪ The "Snobby Squirrels"
can surely claim ♪
♪ They're ready for action
and always... ♪
♪ Game! ♪
Come on, come on.
Whoo!
Yes, you did it.
Hey! Yeah!
Melina, come, come.
Yeah!
Cameron, great job!
Okay.
Oh, my gosh.
Ha, ha.
Thank you!
Well, I promised you
we wouldn't disappoint.
I meant it.
This has been a special trip...
and a new dawn for Ziggle!
Bauer, you blew me away.
Incorporating kids to showcase
a family product...
Well, that's just genius!
And, as far as the rest
of you are concerned...
you were all terribly disappointing
and will probably all
get fired in the morning.
But, uh,
enjoy the rest of your cruise.
I got it.
Wait, okay.
There we go.
Hey.
Hey.
How about that dance?
I'd love to.
Oh.
Oh.
Fancy.
You know, if there's anything
I can do to make tonight
more memorable for you,
just let me know.
There might be one thing.
There he is!
I see you have used your powers
to change skin like chameleon.
But hair stills gives you away.
Yeah, about that,
I've gotta be honest.
I'm not really a Banjak.
I'm just a Nate.
How can I prove it to you?
Banjak no float.
Strange for sea creature, I know.
Whoo hoo!
Huh, you no Banjak!
You fake.
You float and purple hair
wash away?
Oh, the chlorine!
Hmph.
Come on, I'm a talented guy.
Didn't you see me throw down
that rap?
I gotta pee.
Come on, Kids, who's ready to dance?
Whoo!
And now, Moxie Cruise Lines
is proud to present
our croon-tabulous,
mysterioso guest...
international recording artist,
Cody Simpson!
Whoo-hoo!
♪ There's no way to say this
song's about someone else ♪
♪ Every time you're not in my arms ♪
♪ I start to lose myself
♪ Someone please pass me my shades ♪
♪ Don't let 'em see me down
♪ You have taken over my days ♪
♪ So tonight I'm going out
♪ Oh I'm feeling like
♪ There is no better place
than right by your side ♪
♪ I had a little taste
♪ And I'll only spoil the
party anyway ♪
♪ 'Cause all the girls are
looking fine ♪
♪ But you're the only one on
my mind ♪
♪ La da dee, La da dee doo ♪
♪ La da da me, la da da you
♪ La da dee, la da dee doo ♪
♪ There's only me there's
only you ♪
Wait, Ellie!
Ellie!
Cody Simpson is your mystery guy!
What?
Yeah, right.
Look.
See!
That's why he was so weird
to you at the rehearsal!
Wait, you're saying one of the
biggest pop stars in the world
has a crush on me
and even wrote a song about it?
Stranger things have happened.
Especially on this cruise ship.
♪ I don't know what to say next ♪
♪ I'm feeling like
♪ There is no better place
than right by your side ♪
♪ I had a little taste
Another cruise,
another stunning success!
You know, I'm always on
the look-out for families
who aren't getting along
and I find a way to bring
them together.
I haven't failed yet.
And after that you watch your
handiwork dressed as a clown?
That's creepy, Dude.
Those children are nightmares!
I finally got my hands
on those pictures
and those kids are going down!
Um, I'm curious as to what
you think of my new watch.
What?
Big deal.
It's a watch.
I don't have time for this.
No, take a really good look
at it.
♪ La da da baby
♪ Oh, I'm feeling like
there is no better place ♪
♪ Than right by your side
I had a little taste ♪
♪ And I'll only spoil the
party anyway ♪
♪ 'Cause all the girls are
looking fine ♪
♪ But you're the only one
on my mind ♪
♪ La da dee, la da dee doo ♪
Is this great?
Oh!
♪ La da dee, la da dee doo ♪
♪ When you're gone I'll think
of you ♪
Come on, rock it out, Cody!
♪ La da dee doo
♪ When you're gone I'll think
of you ♪♪
Come on, let's go.
Moxie Cruise Lines congratulates
all of its guests on a
successful evening.
Thank you for a voyage to remember.
Hurry up!
Ellie, Ellie!
Come on, here.
It's your last chance,
you can do this!
Cody, uh...
Hi, um, I'm sorry that I
missed our date!
I was hypnotized and have like
zero memory
of the whole night!
All I had was your text message,
and I had no idea who
you were until now!
But, if you give me another chance,
there will be a lot more
"Only Me"s and "Only You"s,
I promise!
Okay, maybe I came on a
little strong.
And way too cheesy.
Go.
Now that's the girl I remember.
Brave, gutsy,
willing to take chances,
maybe a little overboard
on the science jargon sometimes.
But it makes you original.
Really?
That's why you like me?
Of course!
Plus, you knew I wanted
that sea lion set free,
and you helped make that happen.
Oh, uh... yeah.
Funny story, we sort of, um,
lost him.
Shh.
So can I see you again?
Sure.
If you didn't already notice,
I do have a helicopter.
What did we miss?
Yeah, what's going on?
Oh, nothing.
But since we're all here,
let's take another photo.
I'd like to update my status.
Let's do it!
What?
Let's try this again!
All right.
♪ There's no way to say this
song's about someone else ♪
♪ Every time you're not in my arms ♪
♪ I start to lose myself
♪ Someone please pass me my shades ♪
♪ Don't let 'em see me down
♪ You have taken over my days ♪
♪ So tonight I'm going out
♪ Oh I'm feeling like
♪ There is no better place
than right by your side
♪ I had a little taste
♪ And I'll only spoil the
party anyway ♪
♪ 'Cause all the girls are
looking fine ♪
♪ But you're the only one on
my mind ♪
♪ La da dee, La da dee doo ♪
♪ La da da me, la da da you
♪ La da dee, la da dee doo ♪
♪ There's only me there's
only you ♪
♪ La da dee, la da dee doo ♪
♪ La da da me, la da da you
♪ La da dee, la da dee doo ♪
Get it, get it.
Get it, do it.
♪ This place is packed with people ♪
♪ But your face is all I see
♪ And the music's way too loud ♪
♪ All these pretty girls around ♪
♪ They're just dressing to impress ♪
♪ But the thought of you
alone has got me spun ♪
♪ And I don't know what to
say next ♪
♪ I'm feeling like there is
no better place ♪
♪ Than right by your side
I had a little taste ♪
♪ And I'll only spoil... ♪