Once Upon a Time in the Midlands (2002) - full transcript

WOMAN: It's like

he's sort of going through
a mid-life crisis

but it's been lasting
about 10 years.

HOST: I mean,
do you think

he's actually got
any musical talent?

Well, I mean,
he's all right.

He can play the guitar
a bit and all that,

but he's so into
country and western.

I mean, it was all right

when he was into progressive
rock and everything.

I didn't mind that
at all, you know,



but we're just
so different now.

I like Missy Elliot,
I like Lil' Kim

and I don't think

Dolly Parton's had much
to say for herself

for a long time,
you know?

How are things
between you, Carol,

in the bedroom
department?

I won't let him
in the house,

so I'm not
going to let him

in the bedroom,
am I?

Well, if he's not even
allowed in the house

I reckon there's
a great deal

the two of you
need to talk about.

Fucking Vanessa.



All right,
I think it's time

we welcomed

Carol's partner, Charlie.

[APPLAUSE]

Howdy, folks.

[***]

* I am the Midlands cowboy *

* I go from town to town *

* I wear my boots and Stetson *

* And the bad guys
Wear a frown *

* I sing my songs *

* I right the wrongs *

* I wear this great apparel *

* Most of all *

* I wanna sing
About my love for Carol **

[APPLAUSE]

Thank you.

AUDIENCE MEMBER:
I think he sounds
a bit selfish,

and I think you need

to start taking on
some responsibility, Charlie.

How can you call me selfish?
You don't know me.

I mean, I'm great with my kids.

I get them up,
make their breakfast.

I pack their lunch,
take them to school.

I pick them up,
I bathe the lads--

But you need to earn money.

What do you
know about it?

You've probably
got no kids.

Who'd want kids
with you?

VANESSA: Oh, I
can't have you...

I can't have you
insulting my audience.

CHARLIE: Well,
she's insulted me.

VANESSA:
I hope he doesn't

talk to you like
that at home, Carol.

CAROL: No, no.

Fuck, Carol.

Don't get me wrong,
he is a good dad.

He's the best dad
in the world,you know?

I've got my daughter,
Donna.

He's not the father
of Donna, right,

but he took
me and Donna in

when she was a little girl
and all that,

and he's an
absolute diamond

and I love him.

I've been with him
all this time...

Bad sister.

but the thing is,

I'm sort of getting
to the age now

that he was
when we met

and I sort of think...

You know
what I mean?

He's going backwards and I'm
trying to move us on...

Charlie, man.

HOST: Well, you say
he's a great father,

and as it so happens,

we've got your
best friend, Shirley,

her daughter,
Marlene,

and your older
daughter, Donna,

all waiting backstage.

Come on out, girls!

[APPLAUSE]

Oh, fuck.

Hi, girls. Welcome.

Shirley, you're Carol's very
good friend. Do you think...

I mean, there's obviously
a lot of love going on here.

Do you think they stand
a chance of making it together?

Um, I don't know.

I think they're both
a bit mixed up, really.

Ah, baby.

You think
they're confused?

Yeah, a bit, yeah.

Not as confused

as you're going
to be, Shirley,

because...

Could we dim
the lights, please?

We've got a surprise
for you.

Where do you think
your boyfriend Dek is now,

Shirley?

Um, he's waiting with the car.

You think he's
waiting with the car.

You're entirely wrong,

because, ladies and gentlemen,
let's welcome Dek!

[APPLAUSE]

SHIRLEY:
Oh, my God!

Fanny.

What are you doing?

Oh, God.

It's been a year
and a half now, Shirley,

that we've been together.

What are you doing?

Oh, my God.

Shirley, you're
a better woman

than I could ever be.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

No, than I could
ever be with.

You're a wonderful,
fantastic mother.

You're beautiful.

I love your hair
and your little hands

and your eyes,
both of them,

and...

you're a role model and an idol

and you're something
to gaze down on

like a...

like a piece
of nice art...

Oh, God.

and I hope
you'll make me

the happiest man
in Britain today

by saying yes

when you ask me
to marry you.

Dek, I can't believe
you're doing this now.

Yes?

Yes, Shirley.

Yes.

Yes.

Please?

I can't, Dek. No.

There'll be more Face To Feltz
after the break.

Fuck it.

Fuck it.

No, ta.

I got her to sign a T-shirt,
you know.

I was singing
on the TV show

when Shirley,
she said no.

Stop it.

It's not funny.

Watch my bloody hat.

Come on, Dek.

See you, Charlie.

You all right,
Marlene?

Yeah, I just feel
a bit sorry for Dek.

Don't be daft.

You didn't do nothing.

I did, Mum.

I helped him
write that poem.

Marlene, why didn't
you tell me?

I just wanted people
to think I'd got a dad.

Hey, I really like Dek.

I know you do.

It's just not
that simple,

you know?

I know.

I know what you're doing,
talking about me.

Can we talk, please?

I can't now.
I'm late for work.

Don't go off like this, eh?

I can't fake it, Shirley.

You've wounded me.

[MARLENE LAUGHS]

See, I'm a laughing stock,
aren't I?

No, you're not.

Yes, I am, Shirley. Yes, I am!

Come and sit down, please.

Sit down?

Sit down in my own house
and be laughed at?

No way, Shirley!

I'm going
to work now.

At least thereI'm going to get
a little bit of respect.

Have a nice day.

Emerson,
put these on him.

Boys, are you
in that bathroom yet?

Come on. You better be
in there, you know.

Not this again.

You little buggers,
what have I told you?

I've told you time and time
again, don't be doing that.

Otherwise I'm going to send you
to your dad's, up to the pit.

[MOANING]

Come on, you've got
to get up.

I can't take much more.

You should have put
a lock on the door,

shouldn't you?
They can pick the lock, Carol.

Phoar, it stinks in here.
Come on, get up.

I want to put this duvet cover
in the washing machine.

Oh, no! Oh, Donut, where's
the back of your knickers?

No, stop!
Look at that, look at that!

What's going on
in here?

Donut, how could you?

You can fucking
have him!

I knew
you fancied him.

Get in there.

Get in that bathroom.

I love you.

There's only you.

Are any of us in the paper?

No!

Is that you, Texas?

Yeah, we're working Saturday,
okay?

Yeah, yeah,
the old colliery club, yeah.

No, they've put their money
down a few quid,

but apparently they're
not doing much business

since the pit closed.

Okay, Texas?

See you Saturday, kid.

Yahoo!

Get off the car, Donut.

Lean against the wall
or on the curb or something.

Don't flipping flop
all over the car.

You know the rules.

I've got things
on my mind, Dek.

So have I, so have I.

Don't slam the door.

You ever worn
a thong, Dek?

* They're on the road again *

* They're on the road again *

[HONKS]

Fucking brilliant, eh?

Did you feel the brakes on that?

Hey, you forgot
something.

How was it in the back, Billy?

Superb. Weren't it comfy?
Aye, great.

That's real mock-leather,
by the way.

Is it?

Yeah, and did you open
any of the presents

while you were there as well?

Fucking shite!

[PHONE RINGS]

Fucking hell, man.

Where the fuck is he?

It was me that stole the car
full of presents.

Jimmy, come on.

Hey, Jimmy!
Ta-da!

Is that you, you fanny?

Get in the car.
You're driving, come on.

What the fuck is it?
A fucking Mini on acid?

Aye, that'll be
fucking right.

Come on, Jimmy,
hurry up, would you?

Jumbo, you fucking...

You're sitting on...
Look at that.

Tickets
to the Krankies.

They're mine.
I want them.

[JIMMY SIGHS]

This isn't
happening, man.

It's all the waiting.

I've been planning
this heist for months.

We've got one chance.

Anybody fancy
a McChuckle burger?

I'm fucking starving,
by the way.

Aye.
Aye.

I'm hungry as well.

No, you can't have
a Chuckle McBurger.

Why not?

Whoa, whoa.

Here we go, boys.

On three.

One, two...

three.

Oh, excuse me, pal.
Give us the money.

Fuck off.

Give us the fucking case.
Fuck off.

Give us
the fucking case!

Fuck off.
Give us the case!

Let it go,
you fucking twat.

One-two, Dougy, one-two.

[DISTANT SIRENS]

That's the fucking busies.

Move!

Come on, then.

Come on, Billy!

Ah, fuck this.

Jimmy!

Jimmy, you fucking bastard!

Wait till I get you!

[SIRENS WAILING]

Run! Run for your life!

Come on, lads.
Flipping heck.

You're wearing
the tread on them.

DEK: Can you put me through

to the Face To Feltz
guest help line?

Yes.

That's right, yeah,
she turned me down.

Yeah, so how do we
go about this now?

Do we...

Is it I talk and you listen
and then you...

When I stop,

you tell me
what's wrong with me?

Okay, then shall I start now?

Come on, Jimmy.

They'd have done
the same thing, man.

Fuck,
they'd seen your face, man.

Seen a bit of your face.

Ah, fuck it.

Fuck them, man.
They're bastards anyway.

Bet they've fucking
grassed you up already.

Fucking face it, man.
They're fucking scumbags.

I mean, you know it, I know it.
Huh? Huh?

Jesus Christ, man.

Fucking...

Fucking face-painting money.

Thanks very much, Mr. Plonko.

See you later,

MiniMini,
fucking piece of shit.

DEK: I feel like a father
to her daughter Marlene,

and we're very much in love.

Very much.

Well, we were.

Well, we still are
very much in love

and she means the world to me.

She's an angel.
She's...

Nottingham, mate?

Hello.

Where did you get
your outfit from?

Just bought it on the way home.

Did you?

Do you like it?

Yeah, I like it
a lot, yeah.

Nice.

Dek, are you
still in love with me?

Are you still in love with me?

What?

Of course I am. Don't be stupid.

Because I'm in love with you.

I'm still in love with you.

I love you.
I love you.

I'm sorry I said no.

No--

No, I am.

Is it all right?

Yeah.

Oh, my God,

I'm getting
so many looks.

Did you pay for them drinks?
You did, didn't you?

Yeah, we ain't
famous, Carol.

We're the only ones here
that have been on the telly.

We saw you lot on the telly.
Oh, I'd have died, Shirl.

Didn't you know he
were going to do that?

No, I didn't know.
We don't blame you, though.

He's not a patch
on your last fella.

We were saying,
weren't we?

Yeah, it's not really
your business, is it?

Oh. Well, excuse me
for breathing.

Yeah, well,
at least someone asked her,

you bloody swamp monster.

She gets on
my nerves, that one.

Anyone want a lucky pen?

Hello, is that Perfect Pizzas?

Hello, Zak, lad,
are you all right?

[CHUCKLES]

No, I'm just writing
a couple of tunes, you know.

Yeah, no, I'm in on my own.

Can you send me a 12 incher
'round, please, son?

Yeah, and I know what I'd like
to do with it too.

Thanks a lot, kid.

[BREAKS WIND]

Oh, I'm sorry,
darling.

[BREAKS WIND LOUDER]

What's wrong with me tonight?
For God's sake. Where is it?

Huh?
Where is it? Is it behind you?

Where's what? What?
This.

What?

Yeah, this.
Yeah?

Yeah, this lad at
school's got one, Dek.

Just take it to work
or something.

If you're bored, play
with your binoculars.

What?

Just play with them,
whatever.

All right.

I won't see anything
anyway. It's dark.

Stop sayin' that.
Okay, I'm doing it.

I'm going
to do it now.

All right.
Go on.

I can't see anything.

[LAUGHS]

Why are you laughing?

Oh, you're just
dead funny, Dek.

I know.

[MIMICS BREAKING WIND]

Skegness is my heaven,
it's number 37.

Come on, it's destiny, isn't it?

Chips and curry on a plate,

38.

What do you need?
39.

Telling lies is naughty,

40.

Yes!

We have a winner.

Oh, bloody hell,
it's the swamp monster.

What are you looking at?
Do you want a picture?

Just leave it, Carol.

No, I'm fed up with
this bingo lark.

I'll tell you what.
This town's a bit too small--

You twat!

That really hurt.

I'm going to the toilet.
Come on, move.

Watch the drinks.

Ah, fuck the drinks.

I'm going to need
a stitch in this.

Carol, wait up for us.

Stop being
so bloody mardy.

Shut up. I've got a hole
in the back of my head.

You've got hole in the front
of your head as well.

Cheeky.
Hold on.

That's how tumors
start, you know.

Don't be stupid.

Yeah, you won't
be laughing

when I start
spazzing out

and frothing
at the mouth.

* Oh, I'm on the trail
I've escaped from jail *

* And I'm looking
For Texas Tom *

[HONKS]

Come on, kids.

Mum, hey.

What's the matter with you?
My socks are itchy.

Can I go back
and change them, Mum?

No, you can't.
They're all right.

Here's your bag. Take your bag.

Give me that ball.
You're late, you.

Well, bloody
sue me, then.

Come on, boys.
Let's go.

Mind your fingers.

All right, Marlene.

Dad, my socks are itchy.

Ah, well, I'll
sort it out after.

File a complaint.

See you.

See you.

Okay, kids,
here we go.

* Oh, I'm an old cowpoke *

* I'm always broke *

* I'm taking the kids
Off to school *

* Give him two arms
To cling to *

* And something warm
To bring you *

* When the nights
Are cold and lonely *

* Stand by your man *

* And tell the world
You love him *

* He's giving
All the love he can *

* Ooh, baby *

Charlie, wait.
Charlie, can you just...

Bloody hell, Jimmy,
you frightened

the bloody life
out of me there.

[TIRES SCREECH]

What the hell's
going on, Jimmy?

You frightened the life
out of the bloody kids there.

Get out, you dopey bugger.
Go on--

No offense, Charlie.

No offense? What the bloody
hell are you playing at?

I didn't have anywhere
to sleep, man.

Didn't you? Well,
I'm sorry about that,

but that's not
my bloody fault.

I'm sorry. I just needed
to see her, you know--

Well, she doesn't want
to see you like this, does she?

She's my daughter, Charlie.
I know she's your--

Jimmy, I'm sorry, but look,
we've got to get off, okay?

She's my wee lassie, Charlie.

[ENGINE TURNS OVER]

Fuck!

CAROL: How did Jimmy look?

Jimmy's Jimmy,
isn't he?

Oh, aye.

Where's my air rifle?

Oh, come on, don't be soft, Dek.
Sit yourself down.

You told me he was in prison,
Carol.

I believed you.
Hang on. I never said that.

Yes, you did,
you big, fat liar.

Hey, come on, there's
no need for that, Dek.

Well, he's her
brother, Charlie.

Yeah, well, he's her ex as well,
in case you'd forgotten.

Did you know about this, Shirl?

No.

We should call the police.

He's probably after Marlene now,
ain't he?

This is my brother
we're talking about.

He's only your foster brother.

He could have
Hannibal Lecter's DNA strands

for all we know.

You bastard.
Don't you dare say that.

Get off. He bloody
gets on my nerves.

Out of order there, Dek.
You're out of order.

Welsh wanker.

I blame it all

on that bloody Vanessa
bloody Feltz show.

Should never
have gone on it.

They never tell you
that's going to happen

when you go on.

You turn me down, and that
just leaves the door open

for him to come walking
back into your life,

don't it?

Now look what
you've done, eh?

You all right?

Yeah.

Do you want to watch
The Weakest Link?

Yeah, go on, then.

According
to many people,

the secret of successful
entertaining

is being in control.

Do you reckon I could have him,
Charlie?

[LAUGHS]

It's not funny.

Lads at work said

he put someone in hospital
when he was 12.

Is that true?

Look, it was
just all schoolboy stuff,

wasn't it?

I'll go and find him, okay?

No, don't go, Charlie.

I'll cook you some tea, mate.

It's crispy pancakes tonight.

Charlie?

Jimmy.

[***]

[WOMAN ON TELEVISION
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[FOOTSTEPS]

Shirl?

What are you doing?

I'm going to get
some lemonade.

There's some in the fridge.
I don't like it.

There's nothing wrong with it.
I don't like that one.

All right.

FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Miami is, without a doubt,
the most stylish...

I'm going to go up to the garage
and give the car a wash.

It's half price
at night.

All right, yeah, whatever.

Jennifer Lopez,
Donatella Versace,

and many more...

Right, well,
I'm going to go now.

Okay. See you later.

I'm going.

Dek...

Do you want
a spin, Donut?

No, just pick us up
a kebab, please.

I'm not going
through town, Donut.

You don't need to.

They sell them in the petrol
station, frozen ones.

Oh, do they?

Can you get me a can of Red Bull
while you're there?

Oh, yes.
Get the lads something as well.

Oh, yes,
the lads, yes.

Dek, will you get us a Twix?
And a Twix.

Oh, and a spicy
Pot Noodle.

Spicy Pot Noodle.
Okay.

Don't forget to
warm up the kebab.

Oh, no, of course not.
I tell you what, Donut.

I'll swim to Turkey and get you
a nice fresh one, shall I?

Just warm it up.

Can I just
remind you all,

I've been downstairs
on my own,

in my own house...
Dek, just go to the garage.

all night.

[UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING]

[ENGINE REVS]

Come on in and have
a cup of tea.

[CAR APPROACHING]

Maybe just sit here
for a bit, Charlie.

I don't know what
you're worried about.

There's only going to
be me and you there.

Fucking hell.

[CRASHES]

Four chili wowsers,
four chili wowsers,

a cheese lollipop...

Jesus, man, you okay?

I've killed her.
I've killed my baby.

Oh, you're all right,
you're okay.

You're fine now.
Am I still here?

Yeah, you're just in shock,
mate.

Going a bit fast
there, pal, you know.

Sorry, mate. I don't
usually go that fast.

Hey, are you all right?

Charlie, man.
Charlie.

I've killed Baby.

You know this guy,
Charlie?

Yeah, Jimmy, this is Dek.
Dek, this is Jimmy.

Jimmy, get your...

Go and get your bag,

and you,
pull your bloody self together.

Go home to Shirley, will you?

Hey, don't you be sick.
I'm the one who should be sick.

Where am I going to get a door
to fit this?

Houston, bloody Texas?

Shirley...

Shirley...

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

See him taking
the motor away.

Yeah, I know,
I've seen it from upstairs.

What a way for you
and Dek to meet, eh?

Unbelievable, man.

So, what are you
back for, Jimmy?

Should never have went away,
Charlie.

Biggest mistake
I made in my life.

Don't be soft, lad.

You were never happy down here.

I was never happy anywhere else,
was I?

I wanted Shirley
to say no...

when that fanny asked her
to marry him on the telly.

Is there nobody who doesn't
watch that bloody show?

Big chance for me, Charlie, man.

Last chance.

I'm going to lose you next,
aren't I, Shirl?

Oh, what are you saying
things like that for?

It's true.
Why is it true?

Hmm?

Because Jimmy's back?

Says more about what you think
of me, Dek,

don't it?

Why do you think

I'm going to want
to go back to him?

He's like this...

big mystery.

Like this Zorro figure
waiting in the shadows,

just waiting to pounce on me.

He's like a virus
and I can't breathe--

Hey. Hey, stop it.
Stop it.

I don't care about Jimmy.

He left us, Dek.

I'm with you now.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Come upstairs with me.

Yeah. Yeah.

You want an M.O.T.?

Mm-hmm.

Full service?

Oh, yeah.

Respray or...

[CAR HORN HONKS]

Who's that?

Don't know.

[CAR HORN HONKS INSISTENTLY]

Shirley...

Oh, my God.

Oh. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God,

it's a pink
plastic pig.

Your legs will
never fit in there.

I can't.

I'm going to have to...
I can't go out in that.

I'm going to
lose business.

Babe, I can't.

You can.

[***]

* Tomorrow *

* Tomorrow *

* They say *

Know what you're doing?
Yeah.

North Wales Champion
four times running.

* And even though today *

* We will be parted *

* My love for you *

Hey, no,
that's the upper body.

No, it's not.
You can't use the upper body.

It's got to be in the arm.
Well, do what I'm doing, then.

This is what you're doing.
This is what he's doing.

No, he's not.

You're just being mardy
because you're losing.

Ah! Cancel it.
Cancel it.

It's gone. Cancel the game,
that doesn't count.

You've pulled it, man.

You severed something
from the bone.

He's only 17.

He hasn't been in a serious
car accident, has he, Donna?

Neither have you.
It was only a bump.

It was a near-death
experience.

I had a car door
this far...

this far from my eye.

My eye, Donna.

If it wasn't for my...

my guardian angel
over there,

I wouldn't have
pulled through.

She's pissed,
isn't she?

She is pissed.

We're in a new phase now
in the relationship,

and I don't mind
her being pissed.

It's just another
quality, isn't it?

Of her, of Shirley.

[SONG ENDS]

Thank you kindly,
folks.

That was a request for Jeannie
there behind the bar.

Shirley, my arm.

Shirley, careful, darling,
please.

Shirley, stop it.

Come and have a dance,
Dek, together.

Shirley, don't.
Oh, come on.

Shirley...

Come up there
and service me.

Okay, Shirley.

My arm, my arm!

* If you knew just how blue *

* That I get
When I'm not with you *

* Oh, you'd cry
A million tears *

* You'd cry *

* And if you start
To break my heart *

* When you see
That I'm falling apart *

* Oh, you'd cry
A million tears *

* You'd cry *

* And if the raindrops
Make a river *

* Then your tears
Would make a sea *

* But your tears
Would count for nothing *

Bloody hell.

Hello.

My favorite sister.
How are you doing, darling?

I'm all right.

They said
you were back.

Am I not top of your list
no more or something?

Fucking hell. Glad you're
pleased to see me.

Well, I thought
you were dead.

Made a comeback,
didn't I?

Oh, are you
all right, my duck?

I'm all right, duck.
Well, all right, duck.

God, you won the lottery
or something?

Just about, baby.
Get yourself a new shell suit.

Oh, no, no,
I'm not having that.

No, go on.
Ah, go on, then.

I'm thirsty.
I'm getting something to drink.

Oi, oi, get us a drink.
Get me a lager.

[WOMAN YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

Shirley.

Shirley.

Shirley!

Dek, I want to go home.

What, because of that wazzock?

No bloody way, babes.

Why can't you just
leave us alone, eh?

Huh?

Just take your new
gay haircut and flip off.

CAROL:
Oh, you can talk,
peanut head.

It's all right, Carol.

I was leaving anyway.

Go on, then.

Well,
you know where the door is.

Oh, Jim, don't go
just because of that prat.

Come on, mate. Out you go.
Right, come on.

Taxi for Wilson.

Get out of my way.

Mum, do you want me
to come with you?

No, you're
all right, babe.

All right?

CHARLIE:
Sorry about that
little disturbance,

ladies and gentlemen.

Apparently someone's been
given the correct change

by one of the barmaids.

What?

That'd be a bloody first,
wouldn't it?

Okay, by the way, you've
probably heard around the club,

Stop it.

I've been forced
to have a vasectomy.

I didn't want to do it,
but the wife did.

Anyway, we asked the kids
to vote on it

and I lost 13-12.

Dek, are you
all right?

You seem dead weird.
No, I've just got wind.

Not bothered about
last night, are you?

No. I'm fine.

Fine, then. I'll go.

Okay.

Enjoy yourself.
Yeah, see you later.

Come on, Dek.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Marlene!

Marlene!

What?

Morning.

Hello.
Hello.

What do you want, Dek?

Marlene...

I know it's your birthday
next week,

but this is an early present

and I'd like you
to open it now.

My granddad gave it
to my father,

and my father
gave it to me, and...

Dek, it's a man's watch.

Yes, it is
a man's watch, Marlene.

The Queen gives her crown
to her sons

and it passes on down the family
like that.

It's...
It's a heirloom.

A heirloom, they call them,

and, um...

I'd love you to have it.

You do like it,
don't you?

Yeah, I love it.
It's...

silver and stuff.

Yeah.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

It's like the crown jewels.
I'd best be going to school.

Oh, all right then. Bye.

Tell the time.

I will.

Hey, baby.

What are you
doing here?

Look, I don't want to cause you
any trouble, Shirley.

I know Marlene's
birthday's coming up

and I didn't want to miss it.

Well, I am going to miss it--
I'm going back up the road--

but I just wanted to make sure
she got her presents, you know.

Are you going back
to Glasgow?

Aye.

All right.

Mad the other night, eh?

Hmm?

Yeah, I was a bit drunk.

I felt something.

I thought I felt
a wee...

thought I felt
a wee something,

you know?

Thought you felt something.

A wee something.

You must think
I'm really stupid.

No.

I'm with Dek now.

He's great,

and Marlene is great.

You know, it's really great.

I saw you turn him down
on the telly.

I'll make sure
Marlene gets these presents.

Between you and me, I uh...

think he was knocking her about
when they lived together.

No.

Oh, aye, yeah.

Well, you can tell, can't you?

You know, terrible.

So what was the
crack then, Boss?

What kicked it off?

Oh, well, I went white.

White.

You did not go white.

Donut,

I know what
color I was,

and it was white.

How do you know
what color I was?

You were down the hall,
dancing like a little girl.

So come on,
then, Darkus.

What happened, man?

Yeah, what did
you do, boss?

I didn't have to touch him,
did I?

When you're like that,
when you've got that...

I just walked across the hall.
There he was by the bar.

Stood.
He's only down there.

He's only that big.

Yeah, tiny little thing.

And you didn't
hit him?

Didn't have to hit him.

Didn't have to hit him.

It's all in the silence
of the...

of the...

Zen, isn't it?

Come on, he used to be solid.

You're telling us he walked?

Well, he might have been solid
when you knew him,

but he ain't solid now.

He wasn't solid when
he was faced with me,

with that whiteness.
I'd have given him

another five, six seconds,
and it would have, you know...

The whiteness would have
gone to another color.

You know, I'd have gone...

Ha! You know,
and pah, pah!

Boof!

You should've done.

Isn't it?

I mean, I could've done,
couldn't I?

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[DRILL WHIRRS]

Oi, Jimmy.

Hey, Jimmy.

What are you doing back in town,
Jimmy?

Welcome to hell, Jimmy.

Welcome to hell.

You're messing
with my family,

Jimmy.

Dek, you got
customers, mate.

You stay away from my family,
Jimmy, huh?

Dek.

Dek, you've got
customers.

You got a customer.

Sorry to interrupt,
boys.

Can we have a word?

I'm all ears, Jimmy.

No,

in private, man.

A private word?

Do you want me to come back?
No, no.

You stay there.

I'll have a word
in private with you.

Would you like to come through
to the office?

Think we should...

Do you think we should go
and help him out?

Tea break, mate,
isn't it?

Yeah, it's not really
the time for it, is it, really?

Go on, then.

Say it.

Say what?

Sorry.

What do I need to say sorry
to you for,

you fucking fanny?

Well, maybe...

Maybe you shouldn't
apologize to me,

but you should apologize
to Shirley.

She's frightened
to death of you.

You've really
scared her, Jimmy.

Now, I don't know
what happened in the past

between you and her,
but I...

I think you used
to knock her about.

[DRILL WHIRS]

It's going to get really nasty
in here in a minute.

Look at the state
of you.

You're not even half a man.

You think I'm going to let you
take my Shirley away from me?

Are you fucking joking?

No.

I'm going to take you
right out of the picture,

and it'll be
before you know it.

All right, Tex?

Hello.

Scotland?

Scotland!

Oh, sweet mother of God.

It's happening.

They're here.

Oh...

Where's my suitcase?

What?

[WHIMPERS]

Dek, what are you doing?

Just take the kid and go!

Dek...

what on earth are you doing?

Dek, what are you doing?

Go to your room, get under
the bed, and stay there.

Is this a joke
or something?

No, it's serious,
Marlene.

Go, go, go, go, go!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hiya.

Me and my pals,

we're down here
looking for a mate of ours.

He lives...

In fact, I think he lives here.

His name's Jimmy.

Jimmy?

Jimmy.

Aye, we're
friends of Jimmy.

Sorry?

He said we're great
pals of Jimmy.

Well, I know it sounds
a wee bit weird

but we heard
he was here--

I've not seen him.
Not for three years.

Now, if you don't mind,

I've got to go
and see to my daughter.

Well, maybe
if he's passing,

you could give us
a wee bell, eh?

[THUMPING]

No, get out!

Jimmy, you wee
bastard, you!

My daughter's there,
you bastards!

Have you seen
somebody called Jimmy?

Come on, Marlene.
Come on. Downstairs.

Jimmy!
You wee bastard, you!

Jimmy!

He's in here!

Jimmy...

Out. Now.

I'll count to three.

One, two...

Okay, okay.

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be Thy name.

Who are you?

Derek Slater, 98 Second Avenue.

And what the fuck
have you come as,

you big streak
of piss?

[LAUGHING]

I'm looking
for Jimmy.

Jimmy?

You seen him?

Not here, no.

So you have seen him?

Not...

Not here.

Now, don't
fuck me around.

Sorry.

[WHISPERING]
I've seen him in town.

Where?

By...

By a river.

Are you taking
the piss out of me?

No. I'm a civilian.

Look, just leave
your number

and I'll get
right back to you

as soon as I hear him
or see anything of him.

I promise, I promise,
I promise, I promise.

You'd better be
straight with me, pal.

Please don't do
anything sexual.

Come on.

Hey, Billy.
What?

Can we go see
The Tales of Robin Hood?

Can you fuck...

Fuck that.
I'm starving.

I know. They've got
medieval banquets up there.

Who stole
this fucking van?

Ripping legs off
of chickens and stuff.

It's absolutely
brilliant.

I tell you, Jumbo...

I said, who stole
this fucking van?

Here you are.
Have this cushion.

No, no, I don't need
another cushion, darling.

You'll be all right.

I don't need another.
You'll be all right.

Take it away.
No, look, it's in my throat now.

I can't breathe. Listen.
I can't breathe. Take it away.

Put it there, then.
Put it there.

That's it.

Leave it there. That's it.

Thank you.

Oh, that's...

That's quite nice.

Here you go.

Thank you, darling.

Right.

Got everything
you need now?

Yeah. Yeah.

Do you mind if I go out
for a little bit?

Where are you going?

I don't know.

Just...

get some fresh air
and stuff.

You know,
it's been dead weird today.

Hmm.

Do you want me to come with you?
No, it's all right.

I'd quite like to be on my own.

How long are you going to be?

I don't know.

Just...

not long.

Are you all right?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I love you, Shirl.

[HONKS]

Oh, my God.

What?

Dek, Baby's back.

[WENDY RENE'S "BAR-B-Q" PLAYING]

Whoo!

* I smell something
In the air *

* It smells like barbecue... *

Whoo!
That one. Do that.

[CAR HONKS]

* That barbecue... *

Go on, do it again.
All right.

* I smell barbecue... *

* You smell barbecue... **

Shirley...

talk to me, baby.

Shut up.

What are you
here for really?

I told you.

I tried to tell you.

Why now?

Because I never really
ever wanted to go away.

I was too young.

I felt too young.

If I'd have
stayed with you,

we'd have ended up
splitting up anyway, baby.

You didn't stay to find out,
did you?

No.

That's why
I'm here, babe.

I think that you and me
should be together.

I absolutely think that
you and me should be together

and I want it back.

I want it back.

Hang on, we're spinning,
we're spinning!

Hang on, hang on,
I'm on the grass.

Come on.

Hang on.

Shirley...

I've not got
any right

to ask you
for anything, darling,

but if you feel
anything at all,

if there's anything
left at all, then tell me

and I'll fucking
hang about here, you know?

I'll hang about here
forever.

I think you know
the answer to that one,

don't you?

Oh, God, I'm confused.

I know.

Oh, Jimmy.

I missed you.

I'm sorry.

* Baby's the best car
On the road *

* She's the best car
On the road *

* She killed an old lady
And a toad **

Can you all get out, please?

Come on, Dek, mate,
let's just go.

Please.

Please, just get out.

Come on, you two.

I don't have
to go, do I?

I need to be alone,
Marlene.

Yeah, but are you
going to be all right?

Please, Marlene.

Please, darling.

Dek, look at you.
You're in a right state.

Please.

See you later, then.

Hello, it's me.

The bloke who fell
out of the airing cupboard.

Listen, I know where he is.

I know where he's stopping.

No, don't you dare
come around to my house.

I don't want this
linking back to me.

Can't I just tell you?

It's really easy to find.

No, you stop playing games
with me, mister.

Sorry, sorry.

Well, I don't...

Okay, okay.

Flipping heck.

I'll meet you at dawn,

but I'm choosing
the rendezvous.

[KNOCKING]

All right, all right.

I heard you
the hundredth time.

Jimmy, answer the bloody door,
would you, lad?

Jimmy?

All right. Who do you think
I am, Linford Christie?

Milk?

I get mine
from the shop, thanks.

What about
a yogurt?

Or spuds?

Is that you, Dek?

No.

Fucking cracker,
Billy.

Where's Jimmy? I know
he's been staying here.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I don't know...
Want some more?

what you're talking about.
Okay.

Fuck!
Fucking hell!

Take him out, Billy.

Take him out.

This has nothing
to do with me!

It's nothing to do with me,
is it?

Get behind him.
Get behind him.

My foot! My foot!

Take a look upstairs.

Here you are, babe.

Oh, ta, love.

Do you know what?

My bloody foot's throbbing now.

Aw. You all right?

Yeah, not bad.

Bloody hell.

What a fucking mess.

So, where were you,
then, Jim?

What?

When all this was kicking off.
Where were you?

Oh, he'd just
nipped out, love.

Nipped out?

What, half past 5:00
in the morning?

Where did he
nip out to?

Tell her about Dek, Charlie.

Huh?

Oh, just forget
about all that.

Tell her about Dek.

Tell me what?

Fucking Dek
grassed us up, all right?

He saw him standing outside
when they arrived.

Oh, Dek grassed
you up, did he?

I don't know
whether he grassed him up

or Dek was with them
when they came to the door.

I'll deal with that
streak of piss

when the time comes,
but, the point is,

they were looking
for you, weren't they?

What the fuck
are you getting at here?

Aye, they were looking for me.

I didn't smash the house up,
Carol, okay?

Dek fucking grassed us up.

It's his fault the place
is smashed up, not mine.

Well, of course it's your fault.

See? See, it's
always the same.

Every time
you come back,

you bring trouble
with you, don't you?

Every bloody time.

Look at you.
He don't care.

You're like
a little...

What's that word?
He's immature, isn't he?

Like a little kid.

Well, I've had enough, Jim,
all right?

I've really had enough now.

Coming around here,

always causing trouble
on my bloody doorstep.

A few fucking tapes, man.

A few tapes?

There's some originals there.

He saved up for 10 years
for all that.

A lot of shite.

Bloody sent to Nashville
for some of them.

Do you know what I mean?

You've broken his bloody heart,
but, of course,

as long as it don't affect you,
it don't matter, does it?

You don't give a shit about
anyone but yourself, do you?

I don't want it
no more, Jimmy.

I tell you,
I'm fed up with it.

What?

I don't want you
'round here anymore.

I don't want you
bringing trouble

to my doorstep,
all right?

Have you got nothing
to say for yourself?

What do you want me to say?
What do you want me to do?

I want you to go,
that's what I want you to do.

Well, it's not your fucking
house to tell me to go, is it?

Yeah, but I'm still
married to him.

I still care about him.

He's the father
of my bloody children.

What if my kids had been here?

I mean,

you might not give a shit

about your kid,
but I care about my kids,

but you don't think about that,
do you?

Because you're stupid.
Fuck off.

No, you fuck off.

Go on, get out. I'm sick
of the sight of you.

Don't look at me like that.
Why don't you just go?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think you'd better
pack your bag and I think

you'd better
get off, mate.

Yeah, thanks,
Charlie.

Thanks, man.

Pathetic.

What's that?

What's that
when it's at home?

Fucking that's
what it is.

That's what it's about.

Right, that's what it's about.
You thieving.

Aye, fucking...

I'm trying to better myself,
ain't I, Carol?

Better yourself?
Oh, lovely.

What are you fucking
complaining about?

You've had a touch out
of this bag as well, and him.

Oh, lovely.
We ain't seen him for years.

We get a little present off him,
and that's all right.

You're mad in the head.

You're the fucking
one that's mad.

You're the one that's mad,
going out thieving.

I'm supposed to be
your brother.

Brother?
Then act like it.

I've looked after you
all my bloody life.

I'm fed up
with looking after you.

When have you ever
fucking looked after me?

I've looked after you
for the last 20 years!

When we were
15 years old,

I was the one
that stopped you

putting needles
in your bloody arms.

Ilooked after you.
16-year-old with Donna.

On the fucking street
like a stupid wee lassie.

I was the fucking one
that took care of you.

You were around
for two months, mate,

and don't you dare
bring my kid into this.

Go on, why don't you piss off
back to Jockland?

You're a fucking
disgrace.

You're an idiot.

Fucking disgrace?

I'm fucking ashamed
to call you a sister.

Fine. Don't, then.

You know, I live without you
all the time, baby.

Don't make no difference
to me now, you being here.

So that's it?

Yeah, if that's
the way you want it.

I don't know.

Hello?

What are you doing?

I thought you were in work.

I didn't go in.

Nor me.

Where have you been?

Oh, uh...

out and about.

I just came back
to get a few things together--

I don't want you to leave.
I don't want to leave.

Please don't go.

I'm not going
to leave.

I just think...

I just think you need some...

time.

Some space
to think things through.

I'm so scared, Dek.

Don't be scared.

Don't be scared.

I'm so scared.

Shh.

Oh, Dek...

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I forgot about you.

I'm sorry.

No. No.

Dek, nothing
happened.

Nothing happened.

I can't, Shirley.

Nothing happened.

I can't.

I took them
to Charlie's this morning.

Who?

Those men who were
after Jimmy...

I showed them
where he was.

Oh, my God.

Carol, stop it!

No.

That's enough.

Bollocks.
He deserves it, that poxy grass.

Carol, please.

You see the state
of Charlie's place?

Well, he deserves it as well.

You come anywhere near me,
you numbnut,

and I'll knock
your fucking block off!

Carol, listen.

Anyone get hurt?

We're all hurt,
Shirley.

All right?

Get away from that window!

Get in there!

That's it. I've done my bit.

Done my bit.

Get away.

[DOOR SLAMS]

No, I just...

I just think you
should just go, Dek.

I've just
had enough now.

[CAR STARTS]

How are you getting
on there, Wordsworth?

Not bad. I've got
the, uh...

who it's by.

I just made
a name up.

What's
the name?

Roger Myers.

Who?

Do you have
to talk so loud?

I'm watching telly.

Kids by Roger Myers.

[LAUGHS]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Hey, babe.

Is he in?

No, he's gone.
Where is he?

I don't know. He's...
He's left.

What, gone gone?
Yeah.

Jesus.

They just fucking turned
their backs on me, Shirley.

Carol, she's thrown me out.
She went fucking ballistic.

Went crazy, threw me out.

You can't stay here, Jimmy.
You can't stay here.

Baby, come on, I'd wait
1000 years for you, Shirley,

but I'm in a bit
of a spot.

You've got to go.

Baby, look, all I've got
is the gear on my back.

No, just don't, don't...
don't, Jimmy, please.

Man...

Look, babe--

You have to go.
Leave.

What do you want me to do?

Do you want me
to go back to Glasgow?

Babe...

what do you
want me to do?

FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
...overlooking
Les Baux-de-Provence,

regarded as one of the most
beautiful villages in France.

Marlene, it's time to come home.

Can't I stay here
tonight?

No, I'd like you
to come home, please.

She's all right.
She can stay with me.

I don't mind, Shirley.
No.

I really want you
to come home.

Go on.

See you in a bit.

See you later.

See you, darling.

Goodnight, love.

Yeah. Baby.

Ah, she's dead delicate,
ain't she?

Who's delicate?

Me.

Jimmy.

Marlene, your dad's
come to stay for a bit.

Speak to him, please.

Please, Marlene.

No.

Marlene, please.

She'll be fine, you know.

[NORAH JONES' "SHOOT THE MOON"
PLAYING]

* The summer days
Are gone too soon *

* You shoot the moon
And miss completely *

* And now you're left
To face the gloom *

* The empty room
That once smelled sweetly *

* Of all the flowers you plant *

* If only *

Thanks, baby.

These pillows
all right for you?

They're cool, yeah.

* Why you had
To each be lonely *

See you in the morning.

Aye.

* Was it just the season? *

* And now the fall
Is here again *

* You can't begin to give in *

* It's all over *

* When the snows
Come rolling through *

* You roll in too
With some new lover *

* Will you think of times
You've told me *

* That you knew the reason *

* Why we had
To each be lonely? *

* It was just the season *

Well, you can get
in with me, right,

but just for a cuddle,
and that's it.

Sound as a pound.

All right?
And I mean it,

you go anywhere
you're not meant to go,

and I'll knock
you out, all right?

Fine.

I've done it
before, remember?

I won't rummage.
I won't rummage at all.

You watch yourself.

Rummage?
That's disgusting.

Well, you know what I mean.

I think the posh people
call it "caressing."

* Will you think of times
You've told me *

Here all right,
then, huh?

What is it?

Bouncy castle.

Yeah, but Jimmy,
I'm 12.

* Why we had
To each be lonely *

* It was just the season *

* Oh **

Do you want another
packet of crisps?

No, I've had
four already

and my gums
are killing.

Scratchy.

Do you want
anotherCoke?

No. Look, Jimmy,

you don't have to buy
me stuff, you know.

[WHISTLES A TUNE]

Do you not remember that?

I used to do that to you
when you were...

a wee baby.

Look, Jimmy, what do
you expect me to say?

Nothing, baby.

Can't we just talk
about something else?

Sure.

[DOOR OPENS]

Hey.

Hey.

All right?

Yeah.

Did you have a nice time?
Yeah, it was good.

Did you?
Yeah.

Where is he?

I think he's just down the road
talking to one of his mates.

What did you do?

Oh, all sorts.

Went for a meal,
went shopping.

Did you? Did he get you
something nice?

Yeah.

What did he get you?

Oh, all sorts.

Lots of special
treats for you?

Yeah.
Good.

What's the matter?

Marlene, what's wrong?

Marlene,
what's the matter?

Nothing.

Hey.

There's nothing wrong.

What is it?

[DOOR OPENS]

That's probably
him now.

Ah, there you are.

Wondered where you got to.

Excellent.

Are you all right?

Marlene?

I'm going to go
to my room.

Okay. I'll come up
in a minute, yeah?

Okay.

Don't go peeking
in no bags now.

Your presents are for tomorrow.

I won't, don't worry.

I'll come up, Marlene.

Okay.

I think that went really well.

Yeah.

You get her
a birthday present,

did you?

Aye.

That bear.

Yeah.

It's going to take
a wee bit of time, you know?

Yeah, I know.

I'm starving.

Hey.

Hi.

Happy birthday.

Thanks.

Oh, have you
not waited for us?

No, I'm going to go
into town with my mates.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Well, I were going to make us
a birthday tea later.

I'll probably be back
by the afternoon.

Good.

How much did you get?
About 55 quid.

Did you? What are you
going to get with it?

Some clothes

and I'm probably
going to get

a new box for my watch.

Are you missing Dek?

A bit, yeah.

I'm sorry,
sweetheart.

Jimmy's your dad.

Yeah?

All right, Mum,
I'd best be going.

Be careful, yeah?

I will.

Gloves, check.

Fuel, check.

Oil, check.

Mirrors...

Virgin Mary, Mother of God,

what are you
doing here?

When were you
going to tell us

you were leaving?

[MUSIC BLASTING
THROUGH HEADPHONES]

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Baby.

Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Baby, baby.

Jimmy?

Baby.

Baby.

Jimmy.

What?

What?

Are you going
to give me a hand here?

[LAUGHS]

Doing a grand job yourself,
there, sweetheart.

Tell you what, Shirley, baby.

I could fair get used to this.

What's the matter?

Hmm? Nothing.

Nothing.

I just want it to be perfect
for Marlene.

It is perfect.

It's double perfect.

Wee spread like that
for a wee lassie.

Are you going to get changed?

I'm changed. Look at my hat.

Oh, aye, it's going
to be perfect.

Do you want to know how I know
it's going to be perfect?

No. How do you know
it's going to be perfect?

Do you know how I know
it's going to be perfect?

No.

Because I'm here.

[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

You'll break
the chair.

Here you are.
Ta.

Cheers.

I won't sing
the song.

Well, go on, then.

Blow it out.

Happy birthday, sweetheart.

Thanks.

Are you going to make a wish?

I already have done.

I want to come with you.

Oh, Marlene...

I'd love you to come with me,
but you can't.

See, I can't take you away
from your mum.

It would kill her.

What,
so you're just going to leave?

Piss off without even trying?

Hey, come on, don't
use that language now.

Dek, you're just like Jimmy.

I'm nothing like Jimmy, Marlene.

Jimmy left, you're leaving.

What's the difference?

I didn't want to go, sweetheart.

That's the difference.

[STATUS QUO'S
"WHATEVER YOU WANT" PLAYING]

Guess how many times
I've seen them now,

Shirley.
I don't know.

Guess how many times.
I don't know.

Twenty-seven.
27 times, man.

Just keep getting
better and better.

* Whatever you want *

* Whatever you like *

* Whatever you say *

Will you play
my guitar?

No, I don't want
to play the guitar.

Want to pluck me, baby?

I don't want to.

Come on.

Stop it.

Will you turn it
down, please?

Oh, come on.
It's brilliant, man.

Oh, God.

* You're showing off *

* You're showing out *

I'm going to nip
over to Carol's

and see if
Marlene's there.

* Give me a shout *

* I take it all *

* You squeeze my dry *

Where are you going?

* And now today
You couldn't even say goodbye **

Look, are you going
to change your mind or what?

No.

What are you doing?

You can stuff your bloody
watch. I don't want it.

Oh, Marlene,
we can't part like this.

I don't want it, Dek.

Marlene, please.

Please, darling.

Dek, what is it
that you're scared of?

I'm not scared.

Not anymore.

Marlene...

Marlene,
look at me.

She doesn't want me.

What else can I do?

Marlene?

[SIGHS]

What's going on, Dek?

Oh, Shirley, I...

I don't know
where to start.

Sorry?

I was leaving town
forever this morning

till Marlene popped up
in the back seat

and told me she wanted
to elope with me...

Elope?

and I had
to bring her home, Shirley,

or she would have
run away...

Oh, my God.

Oh, Dek.

but that's not
the important bit, Shirley.

Excuse me?

See, uh...

I thought I was meant to leave,

but I'm here now, aren't I?

And so are you.

Yeah.

I don't understand you, Dek.

I don't.

I love you,

and I love your daughter...

and I never want
to leave you, ever,

and whatever it takes,

whatever,

I'm not going anywhere, Shirley.

I want to be with you
for the rest of my life.

I want to grow old
with you...

till one of us...

dies in the other's arms.

It's me you should be with,
Shirley, not Jimmy.

You should be with me.

Oh, God.

This looks cozy.

Am I missing something here?

All right, Marlene?

Birthday cake's

melting in here,
darling. Let's go.

Come on, Shirley. Stop
messing about. Let's go.

Marlene, inside the house.
Let's move.

You don't have to do anything
you don't want to do.

Hey, who fucking
asked you?

Don't be fucking telling my
daughter what to do, okay?

Marlene, shift.

She's not a dog, Jimmy.
Fuck off.

Oh, God.

Just fuck off.

Shirley, Marlene, inside.

Let's go.

No, Dek, please don't.
No, it's okay.

Listen, Jimmy.

Take Baby

and just...

flip off back to Glasgow,
will you?

No!

Fucking hell.

My fucking lip.

Sorry, Jimmy.

Fuck. Fuck's sake.

Are you all right,
mate? I'm sorry.

Fuck off.

Fuck off.
Sorry.

Fucking hit me there.
Fuck's sake.

Sorry, are you
all right?

Marlene, come here.

Sorry.

He just fucking hit me there.

Is it bad?

Is it?

Is it bad?

It's all right.

Come on, baby. You and me, eh?
Let's go, man.

No, stop it.
Inside.

Come on.
No.

It's not about you and me,
Jimmy.

What?

It's always been about you.

What?

This was a family.

It's our family.

No, no.

This is my family.

What?

I don't want you to break it up.

I just want you to go.
It's too late.

You're three years
too late.

It's over, Jimmy.

I want you to leave.

You'll be all right.

Dek, it's you I love.

It's always been you.

* Adia
I do believe I failed you *

* Adia
I know I've let you down *

* Don't you know
I tried so hard *

* To love you in my way? *

* It's easy, let it go *

* Adia
I'm empty since you left me *

* Trying to find a way
To carry on *

* I search myself and everyone *

* To see where we went wrong *

* There's no one left
To finger *

* There's no one here to blame *

* There's no one left
To talk to, honey *

* And there ain't no one
To buy our innocence *

* 'Cause we are born innocent *

* Believe me, Adia *

* We are still innocent *

* It's easy
We all falter *

FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
...and are now thinking

about swapping
their Ascot home

for a taste of
the Miami high life.

* Adia, I thought
That we could make it *

Fishing? Now I've stolen
my own boat,

I can see myself
on the ocean, you know.

In that?
Aye.

I'll come
with you, man.

You'll kill yourself.
It's ridiculous.

[HONKS]

Thought it was you,
you fucking scumbags.

Hey, where's my money,
you wee bastard?

Any of you know
the way to Glasgow?

Jimmy, can I
come with you?

Upstairs.

Let's go to the back.

Not in the back.
There's people down there.

Don't make me sit
on the end.

Come on, sit here.

No, sit over there.
Oh, move up, Shirl.

Come on, let's sit together.

No, don't start squashing me.

Ah! Oh! No, I don't like it.

Right, don't
abandon me now, girls.

Just let me get my balance.
I'll be all right.

Give me your hand.
Give us your hand.

I'll be okay.
No, hang on.

It's slipperier
than last time, isn't it?

Right, come on.
Hang on.

Just let me steady myself.
Right, that way.

Yeah.
Come on, let's go.

It's not me.

That would be brilliant.
Oh, God!

[LAUGHS]

All right?
Yeah.

Shall we go for a pizza after?
What?

* Innocent *

* Believe me, Adia *

No, just look
straight ahead.

Dek, stop it,
because I'll fall over.

That's better.

* It's easy
We all falter *

I'm going!

* Doesn't matter *

* Believe me, Adia *

* We are still innocent *

* 'Cause we are born innocent *

* Believe me, Adia *

* We are still innocent *

* It's easy
We all falter *

* Does it matter? *

* 'Cause we are born innocent *

* Believe me, Adia *

* We are still innocent *

* It's easy
We all falter *

* Does it matter? *

* Believe me, Adia *

* We are still innocent *

* 'Cause we are born innocent *

* Believe me, Adia *

* We are still innocent *

* It's easy
We all falter *

* Does it matter? **

[***]

* Today I'm standin'
On the brink of tomorrow *

* Watchin'
As the day just passes me by *

* Thinkin' about the joy
And the sorrow *

* Brings a little teardrop
To my eye *

* Yesterday
We pledged our love together *

* We said that we'd
Just stand side by side *

* But today you're on the arm
Of another *

* Taking vows
As someone else's bride *

* Tomorrow *

* Tomorrow *

* They say it never arrives *

* But if you only knew *

* How much that I love you *

* Then would surely realize *

* Looking back to when
Our love first started *

* It's funny
How time just passes by *

* And even though today
We will be parted *

* My love for you
Could never die *

* Tomorrow *

* Tomorrow *

* They say it never arrives *

* But now that I can see *

* How much you meant to me *

* I was a fool
To never realize *

* Tomorrow *

* Tomorrow *

* I was fool
To never realize **

[WHIP CRACKS]