Once Upon a Time in Bethlehem (2019) - full transcript
A thief and a priest end up magically transported in the year 0's Palestine, where they'll have to make sure that the Nativity will follow its course.
It is absurd that these things
are yet to be seen in 2019.
He is right.
- The grainy image, the faded colors.
There is no brightness.
Are you sure it's 4K?
Yes sure. It is also written.
Bah! Oh well.
How much does that cost?
- Four thousand euros. - If I close
a deal tonight, I almost buy it.
All right?
You have plenty of them.
- Merry Christmas. See you later.
- Same to you.
Merry Christmas.
- How did you dress?
We forgot about the last ones.
We don't see them, we are taken by trivial things.
But there is a way to help the last ones.
Indeed, there are three.
Pray, pray, pray.
Whoever prays is never wrong
and God will help them.
Also this year we will
be helped by God...
..to build the wonderful living nativity
scene that gives prestige to our country.
Because the crib is not only the house
of God, it is the house of all of us!
Well, now let's get up.
I believe in one God, Almighty Father...
..creator of Heaven and Earth.
Seventeen.
Oh well, let's do eighteen.
Ssh!
Beautiful!
It is really beautiful!
It is a marvel.
- What do you count? They are right,
don't you trust? - Honestly, no.
- Do you trust me?
- Honestly? No.
- I salute you. - We give thanks to God!
- No, we thank those who believe it.
Ssh!
Here more sawdust.
In Jesus' time, carpenters worked hard.
Because? Was she there?
- Don't argue.
The crib is a serious matter and above
all we put more straw in the hut.
Here the son of God is born.
Do we realize? Then he must leave
more room for the ox and the donkey.
- Father, come here.
- I don't know anymore... - Come.
Wonderful! We waited a long
time, but it was worth it.
- But there is a problem. - What's up?
- The crane to carry it up.
- Raffaele has had a job and doesn't
give it anymore. - How do we do it?
- Do we have to put it on the top church?
- Sure.
It is called "comet star" because it
is high. Do I put it at a human height?
- So how do we do? - It would take a
miracle. - No, it would take a crane.
But yet...
Maybe, maybe, I know who to ask.
Our father who is up
there, bring another crane.
Our father,
make a gesture and do it very soon.
Stronger, otherwise our
Lord does not hear us.
- Father, those of television have arrived.
- You go on.
Harder! Our father who is up
there, bring another crane.
It is a long-awaited appointment.
On 20 December the external lighting system
of the cathedral will be switched on.
It is a great job that will restore
brightness to the upper part of the monument.
Until now it had remained hidden.
Now the whole square will shine.
Let's move on to the news. No news
regarding the theft of the monstrance...
.. dating back to the 17th century, completed
last night at the Museum of Religious Art.
It is not clear why the criminals
tampered with the heating system...
.. instead of the alarm system.
Let's turn the page.
The Christmas holidays are approaching.
In Roccadimezzo Sicula, work is being done on
the preparation of the living nativity scene.
The work goes on and on.
Soon my perpetual and I will begin
auditions for the main roles.
- The Blessed Virgin, Saint Joseph, the Three
Kings. - There is the long awaited moment.
Yes, also this year all the
citizens of Roccadimezzo Sicula...
..and all those who wish will be able to
admire the figurine of the Baby Jesus.
- Here she is.
- Attributed to Giovan Battista Mazzolo.
- He is one of the most influential sculptors
of the fifteenth century. - They say.
Certainly listeners don't
care about material value...
..but what the life of Jesus
represents for each of us.
- From Roccadimezzo Sicula that's all.
- When do we see it? - On TG tonight.
Not bad.
But I have to call you
back, the stick is wrong.
St. Joseph had the stick with the
round tip. However it does not affect.
- You wipe out.
- Giuseppe, comfort doesn't count.
The Magi will
arrive in this hut.
"The comforts don't count,
the Three Kings will arrive in this hut."
It took me six months to write these
rhymes. Six months, day and night.
Maria, look how nice!
The ox and the donkey will warm us.
- Mr. Giovanni, we will let you know. - He
always says that. I have been testing for years.
Maria, let's not talk about it anymore.
A baby was born. Jesus was born.
- The next! - In Egypt you have to run
away because Herod wants your son to kill.
- Mr. Giovanni, can you do the
little angel? - He recognized me.
We have come to Bethlehem
on our camels...
.. bringing the richest
and most beautiful gifts.
Giuseppe, this is a godsend!
- Let's stop here, in this hut.
- We'll let you know.
- I brought myrrh.
- Mr. Giovanni.
Is it possible that there is no
one up to the situation? One!
- So we don't make the crib this year?
- Is it possible not to do it?
- I make the Madonna and you Saint Joseph?
- Don't mess with these things.
- We make another announcement and look for
candidates. See you tomorrow. - No! Pure tomorrow?
- There is the last Saint Joseph.
- Another? - Yes. - I can imagine!
Come on!
- Good morning, Father Valentino. - He knows
me? - I was able to appreciate it on TV.
You are welcome.
Just a moment,
to get into character.
- Well.
- The character of St. Joseph is difficult.
- Basic. - Basic.
Here is our goal,
there is also the comet.
If the view doesn't deceive
me, we have reached the hut.
Yes, Maria, I see the ox,
but there are two beasts.
The last piece is missing,
I let the donkey in.
- Good boy! Really good.
- Good boy.
When the text is well written,
it is easy to enter the character.
- Do you like my rhymes? - Ah!
For me, as a believer, playing this
character would be a unique emotion.
I congratulate you for everything.
For the beard, for the stick.
- Can I have the privilege of
embracing you? - It is an honor.
His interpretation moved me.
Thanks!
- I felt such an emotion only when I
met the Holy Father. - I'm flattered.
Don't tell me anything
now, let me know.
I have never seen a St.
Joseph so content.
You can see that he is a
respectable, sincere person.
God wanted to put
this man on our path.
- These are the oxen candidates
for the hut. - I do not know.
I don't know because that doesn't
have the conscious eye of the moment.
Instead that has a deeper look,
more suited to the condition.
But the shape of the mouth
leaves me a little perplexed.
Ssh!
Come to dad.
- In the village the oxen are finished.
- We search in neighboring countries.
- Good morning. Good morning. - Remember?
He wanted to see them in context.
It's true!
Seen in context, they seem perfect.
We'll let you know. Thanks.
Depenni.
There's not really here...
The keys? The keys...
Father, where are you going? We have to
look at the donkeys who came to the ballot!
St. Joseph?
To the thief!
To the thief! To the thief!
Get him!
- Oh! What do we care? Let's go away.
- Indeed.
Bimba!
Thanks.
Sorry, baby. Did you see...
St. Joseph!
Stop!
- Thief! Stop! - Stop it!
Stop, God is watching you!
- Tell him to turn away.
- Stop, thief!
To the thief! St. Joseph!
Who are you "fuck"?
St. Joseph!
Stop!
Stop!
Oh!
So much mess for a baby boy? If you had
stolen the crib, what would you have done?
What are you doing?
You don't have to arrest him!
It is not...
Slowly. You hurt me!
Plan! Next year,
you don't make the crib.
Be silent and stand in line.
Insurgent, you go there.
- Thief, you over there. What
are they doing? - They divide us.
The rioters on the cart and
the thieves cut their hands.
- Always a family rebel.
- Insurgent.
Where are you taking me?
They are waiting for me to make the crib.
- What happens?
- The Romans make arrests to quell riots.
But they won't succeed! Herod is
a puppet in the hands of Augustus.
Augustus, the Romans.
How big is the crib you made?
- Where we are?
- We are in Judea.
Enough with this clowning!
A minute ago we were at Christmas and
now we are at Carnival! Look at them.
What are you dressed for?
Go!
It's your fault. If I hadn't been a
thief, we wouldn't have ended up here.
- My fault? - Yes. - It's your fault that
you're chasing me. You are not a carabiniere.
You are a priest. Do weddings and baptisms.
Because of you, I ended up among the madmen.
- Work! Silence!
- Oh well, fuck.
- When are we done? - To finish? The
streets of Rome arrive all over the world.
- I've been here for ten years.
- Ten years?
Are you doing
Jerusalem-Reggio Calabria?
In the name of the Father, the Son
and the Holy Spirit. Bless this food.
- Didn't you have time to bless him?
- Don't mess with these things.
Here, I offer you mine. It eats.
I know it's a nightmare.
Now I fall asleep and you too will
disappear tomorrow morning. Etc.
- Finally! How long did it take you? - There's
the census. The Romans are everywhere.
Census?
Alarm! The Zealots attack us!
Escape! Here! - Here we go!
They are all sold out. Here we go!
- Where is it? - I'm going home.
You do what you want.
- Maybe because it was raining the other
day and not today? - Resign yourself.
We ended up in Year Zero,
in the time of Jesus.
How is it possible? Now what do we do?
What are we doing?
- Thinking about it,
there would be hope. I mean?
- Did you hear that there is a census?
- Yup.
St. Joseph and the Madonna go from
Nazareth to Bethlehem to be registered.
We find the Madonna and we do
the miracle of returning in 2019.
- From the Madonna. - Jesus is too small.
- The Madonna, the miracles.
I don't believe in these things!
I only believe in rational things.
Does it seem rational
to end up in Year Zero?
- Trust me, we need a miracle.
- No.
We need a locksmith. Here we go.
- What's so important?
- My king, I have no good news.
The stars have revealed to me
that the future is nefarious.
We change the future.
A child will be born who will become the
only and undisputed king of the Jews.
Where do I find this phenomenon?
The stars have revealed no more to me.
I only see two strangers.
Only they will be able to give you
the answers you are looking for.
Two strangers! Where am I?
I don't know this,
but I know they come from far away.
- How far? - From far away.
You are too vague to be a fortune teller.
No Please! Please!
Sir, I don't do it anymore.
I don't laugh anymore! I swear!
Find these two strangers who come
from far away and bring them here.
I can not handle it anymore!
I'm hungry, I'm thirsty. Let's stop.
At the next service oasis,
we order two sandwiches and a mineral.
Or do you want the orange drink?
But walk!
Ouch! Alzala.
- Who knows if there is water! How deep
will it be? - Let's see immediately.
- What is that? - Mind your own
business! Tools of the trade.
You have the crucifix,
I have the meter.
- Five and thirty-three,
thirty-four meters. - Five meters?
Five meters?
They are ancient stones, old models.
They don't go at speed.
Oh!
- Good morning. - Good morning.
- Do you have water?
Look, what's the closest city?
- Beyond the hills, there is Bethlehem.
- Then you know Giuseppe and Maria.
- He has a beard, a stick with a round tip.
She is pregnant. - No.
- Do you know a blacksmith?
- No. - He doesn't know anything.
- You know me? - No.
- I don't know myself.
Oh well, if I asked the donkey,
I did it first. - No. - Come on.
You realize?
This is the city where Jesus was born.
- You will see, Our Lady does the
miracle for us. - Let's go come on!
Plan. Don't pull, slide!
Don't show the chains.
- Give something. I'm hungry!
- We too.
Taxes are paid.
You all pay.
Without taxes how do we do it?
Watch!
- What do you want? - Why do you treat
them like this? - Children worry me.
- Are you foreigners? - Yes.
- Do you come from afar? - From far away.
- I bet you need a locksmith.
- Because? It shows?
There he is.
- Are you sure he's good?
- No, he's the only one there.
- Here we go? - Here we go!
Good morning. Sorry.
In the meantime,
we thank you for your attention.
Oh!
- Thanks! - Thanks.
- Thanks? Thirty shekels. - Eh?
- Thirty shekels!
- What are shekels?
- We just arrived and we left the
money at home. - Thirty shekels!
- Let's do one thing, she signs.
- Exactly. - We review, we are always here.
The chains, a bracelet, the necklace.
We always find something to cut.
Now it's better to cut the rope.
Thank you goodbye.
- We don't like people who don't pay here.
- Who doesn't want to pay?
- I pay, he doesn't want to pay.
- I want to pay. - What are you paying for?
- You live on alms. - I pay and pray.
- What do you say? Feel.
There was a misunderstanding. Let's do
like this. Go sit down, I'll talk to them.
I put it all right.
Go, I'll take care of it.
Can I talk to you?
You are two wonderful people.
It can be seen with the naked eye.
That one.
These are crazy. For thirty shekels
they wanted to cut our hand.
- You have to understand them, they are people from two
thousand years ago. - They are barbarians. - Exactly.
- How did it end? - We don't pay.
- Well! - But they cut it for you.
- You are crazy? - A hand is enough
for you to bless. Stop, Nicodemus!
- They are my friends, they are
revolutionaries. - Yes, live the revolution!
It was me, him and Garibaldi. We arrived
in Marsala together with the Mille.
- Cavour calls us and says: "Tomorrow or
Rome or death". - That was Nino Bixio. - Eh!
- What bastards! I hate these Romans.
- Isaac, stop saying these things.
- Father, we should always be silent for
you. - Isaac is right about the Romans.
A while back,
we used to say "thieving Rome".
Then they forgot it.
Thieving Rome.
Thieving Rome. - Thieving Rome.
At least the Romans pay, you don't!
You owe me thirty shekels, I don't forget.
You would sell your children
to the Romans if you had any.
Rebecca,
this is not the way to speak.
- Excuse her, Nicodemus. It won't happen
again. - You always owe me thirty shekels!
It's almost ready, come and eat.
What are you doing? It is not a game
for children. This size is dangerous.
- Why do you put your hands? - Sara,
don't bother. - Mom, it's beautiful.
- And your mother? - Yup.
- Then those Thousand? - Which Thousand?
- Those dressed in red.
You see?
The good Lord follows our steps.
Watch over our actions
and judge our works.
You must always remember it.
You must never forget it, for a lifetime.
When the Bourbons surrounded
you, were you afraid? - No.
- I don't know fear.
- Sara, leave them alone. They are tired.
- Go get some water. Take a seat.
- Thanks.
Won't you wash?
- You see? But they are clean.
- Yup.
But it has a strange smell.
- It is turmeric, to disinfect.
Ssh!
We come from afar, so...
- You are welcome. Thanks.
- We refreshed ourselves well.
Finally one thing to eat!
Sorry. It is for everyone.
Before we begin,
we thank God for the food tonight.
You thank God, but we work all day and
the Romans take the harvest from us.
- We have to rebel. We are not many, but
together with the others... - They kill us.
- Quite right. Meanwhile... the Zealots
are ready. - This is not the way.
Let us pray to God and
he will solve everything.
- Quite right. If one prays, one is
never wrong. - You can't live like this.
We are at the mercy of Herod and the Roman
army. How much longer do we have to endure?
- My sister is right. - Tomorrow they are getting
married and they don't even have a banquet.
- They took the ram to celebrate.
- We said we only had that.
- But they didn't hear reasons.
- Take the ball and don't get married.
Except, can you tell us about the
revolution you made with the cigar people?
It was me, him, Fidel Castro,
Che Guevara and a small group of fighters.
Remember? We arrived in Cuba and there
were five hundred enemies waiting for us.
After two hours, there were five
hundred corpses on the field.
Move away!
I don't know how to tell her anymore. They
come from Nazareth, they are on a donkey.
He is called Giuseppe.
He has a stick with a round tip.
- He has a long beard and his wife is pregnant.
- But the son is not his. - Exactly.
- What do you mean? - The real father
of the child is the father of all of us.
- What are you saying? - This is nothing,
Marshal. Father and son are the same thing.
- If you say "dad", all three turn around.
- Both. - There is also the Holy Spirit.
It all starts with the arrival of
the archangel Gabriel who says...
Gabriele, Gabriele...
- What are you doing?
- What the...
He cannot find Gabriele because
he cannot be registered.
- Gabriele does not see anyone.
- Only the Madonna sees it.
He comes to Maria and
makes the Annunciation.
"Maria, you will give birth to the son of God!"
- "Maria, you will give birth to the son
of God! Maria..." - Enough! We understood.
- This happened nine months ago.
- The son of God is called Jesus.
- Jesus. - Jesus.
Jesus!
- Am I missing Jesus?
- I miss the catechism! - Jesus!
Jesus! Guardi.
- This is him when he grows up.
- Go tell someone else these stories!
- Here I have to work!
- It's important. - The next. - Plan.
I told you they don't exist.
- Giuseppe what job do you do? - What a job
he must do! Talk about imaginary people.
- He's a carpenter. You know him?
- Not him. Maybe I know your cousin.
We don't know how they are made,
but they are foreigners and come from afar.
- From far away. I don't know, I haven't
seen them. I swear. I was working.
So instead of working,
be careful of who goes by.
Can you be more precise?
They must know when they arrive.
- I do not know! They should arrive
in a couple of days. - Are you sure?
My sister arrived yesterday from Nazareth.
He says they left immediately after them.
- You lost! - You distracted me.
Now you pay me for the information.
- We do not have money. - Then go away.
- We don't have any. - Street!
Street!
Have you heard? They have not arrived.
So Jesus has yet to be born.
- Our Lady makes us the miracle
of going back. - I'm hungry.
- The miracle of the loaves and fishes is enough
for me. - How do I call it? Holy Madonna.
- Or His Most Holy Highness.
- Call it what you want, you're the fan.
- Who are you talking about? - It's a
long story. I can call you His Majesty.
Call it your honor.
Go, I'm busy.
- What? - I have to say goodbye to
relatives. - Can I come too? - No love.
These are adult things.
Children can't do it.
Greeting relatives is dangerous.
- Go. - Excellent is fine.
Paying taxes is fair.
He doesn't smile. You smile!
See you next month.
We proceed.
How many beautiful fish!
- Here.
- Did you put everything inside?
Okay, go.
Maria, the time has come,
but free inns I have not found.
Giuseppe, this is a godsend.
Let's stop here, in this hut.
- Well done! - This when it happened?
- If God wants, it will happen soon.
- Do you hear the screams? My cousin is giving
birth. - Here too we are expecting a baby.
Help me!
Breathe! Calm and breathe.
Breathe.
- Breathe!
- You breathe, it's the fifth child!
Push. - Push, push.
There!
Eight and fifty.
Oh well, let's do nine.
Ssh!
It's always nice to
see a baby being born.
- Have you decided what to call it?
- Not yet.
I have many children.
What would you call it?
Calogero.
Calogero.
It's an unusual name, but I like it.
I will call him Calogero.
Welcome, Calogero.
- Hi, Hi!
- What are you doing there?
Quiet, I'll help you.
- What are you doing? That cuts.
- I know.
Go away! No.
What the... No, no!
Are you hurt?
Escape!
Escape!
- You were going to ruin my plan.
- It seems to me not.
- Is the road right?
- Yes, it's a shortcut.
There are no men of
Herod or Romans here.
As soon as we arrive, I give you two
apples, then each one on his way.
- Don't tell anyone what's behind
because it's my stuff. - Trust me.
- You're not married, are you?
- No. - Don't you have kids? - No!
- Then it's perfect. - What? - You
don't have kids and I don't have a dad.
- Why don't you have kids?
- Please, I can't take it anymore! - Watch!
Salvo brought food to celebrate
Davide and Noa's wedding.
Which is? All right!
No! Because? All right.
- All right. Come on,
otherwise I get the itch. - Thanks.
It is very beautiful what
you have done for us.
Smile, otherwise you see that
it is your first good deed.
To the newlyweds!
May God's blessing come upon you.
Calogero.
- What's your name? - Elijah.
- Elijah, let me introduce you to Calogero.
It was a little risky.
However, I couldn't help but bring the baby.
Can you tell me how it went?
I realized that the
roof was the only way.
I got on. I calculated that it was
thirty-two, thirty-four meters.
I lowered the rope and
went down like a spindle.
- Dangerous! You risked a lot.
- I did it for the newlyweds.
We only get married
once, it's the best day.
Why are you not married?
Sara told me.
We revolutionaries are always
around the world fighting.
A riot here, a riot there. What do I do?
Can I bring the family?
We are now foreigners in our home.
Speaking of foreigners,
Herod is looking for two. Are you? - No.
Nobody knows we're here.
I didn't know I miss him!
We revolutionaries never leave a
trace of us, except in history.
- Have you seen how beautiful Calogero is?
- Calogero, in Bethlehem.
Yes. I put it on her!
My father was called Calogero.
- You have to see how he laughs!
- Because he doesn't know what his name is.
- Best wishes!
- Thanks. - Thanks.
- I'm sorry, I didn't bring anything.
- Your gift is your presence.
To Salvo and Valentino, enter our
community like a ray of sunshine!
- Hurray! - Here you are, rags!
Break it all up!
You had fun with my stuff!
Don't worry,
they gave me thirty shekels.
- If this continues, I prefer to die.
- At least I'll have tried. Stop that.
My daughter, listen to me.
Violence does nothing good and you know it.
You are blind. For you,
Nicodemus was also a good person.
Isaac, what a joy to see you again!
- Brothers.
- I called them, father.
Today we are no longer alone. We have Hezekiah
and his companions. We will join them.
They will all kill you.
I prefer to die
once only every day.
Brothers, fate served us
revenge on a silver platter.
Herod will meet the Roman governor at the
spa tonight. There are many more of us.
If we take them by surprise, we can do it.
Some of us will hide here.
Others will stand behind.
Here are the sentries that two of us will
have to kill before they sound the alarm.
- Who wants to go? - I! - No!
To do this, you need expert people.
Only they can do it.
They are experts in revolutions.
If you keep sending expert
people, you never learn.
- I don't trust that one.
I recognize carrion from the smell. No.
- They traveled the world fighting
for freedom. It's true. - True.
All right, you're going to slaughter the
sentries before they sound the alarm.
Sgozzarle?
Do you prefer to strangle them? It gives
more pleasure, but it takes more time.
- What do you want to do?
- Just agree.
I don't want some strangling, others
slaughter and we are not coordinated.
Blood will flow,
second thoughts are not allowed.
If someone steps back...
God, Jesus, Madonna and saints,
I ask everyone for help.
Our Lady of Sorrows, pass the night.
Glorious virgin, make something happen.
- Please... - I know you and your
friend have fought so many battles.
Yes, although I always say "love
your next enemy as yourself".
I like men who
respect the enemy.
Do you know you're a nice tidbit?
- I want you! - Don't want other
people's stuff, it's a sin.
- Then nothing can be done.
- In battle, attack me, protect me.
- Count on me.
- I feel safe near you.
Are you worried?
- Not for me, I'm worried about you.
If something happens to
you, Sara remains alone.
I almost give up on myself. I have fought
a thousand battles, enjoy yourselves.
- You go. - Do not worry.
Here, it's a lucky charm.
It belonged to my husband.
- Was? - He died in battle
when Sara was six months old.
Zealot Brothers, the time has come.
Wait up. When you gave your husband
good luck for the last fight...
.. did you also give him a kiss?
I have to confess!
A woman kissed me.
If all goes well,
you will soon confess to your boss.
You are ready? - Finally!
- Well, on the march.
Go, it's time. A blow to the throat.
When you are done, give us the signal.
If you think about it...
Dear Governor!
I bow down to you and
the power of Rome.
- I hate flatterers. Where are the towels?
- The towels?
Prepare towels for the governor.
I broke his arm with a blow.
Then I said, "Now you won't have
to struggle to wash two hands."
Come.
It was screaming like a chicken.
I said to him, "So you learn to be a
revolutionary" and I put him in prison.
Did Herod know?
- I'm there. - What are we doing?
Hezekiah kills us if we go back.
- There is no choice, we must go on.
- Do you want to kill them? - Shut up.
- Hide the weapon and follow me.
- What do you say? - Walk!
- Make me do it, I have a plan.
- He begged me not to hurt him.
What do you want? Speaks!
- We wanted to take a bath in the spa. - This
evening is impossible, there is the king.
There is the king! Here because.
- What do you mean? - Because...
- He said there are armed people outside.
- I didn't say anything.
- It's not true. - They are armed to the
teeth. - Sound the alarm. - What do you say?
- I did not know. I did my duty as
a citizen. - Don't listen to him.
- Get out of the way! - See you later.
- Let's go away. What have you done?
Come! Come.
No... No!
- What did I do?
- Stop! - Don't move!
It's a trap.
Cursed!
Here we go.
What a privilege! The Zealots.
- You sent them to die!
- Did you want to die?
- Now how do we ask the miracle of
Our Lady? - Enough with these crap!
- You are an egoist. Think only of yourself and
not of others. - What are you doing for others?
I'll tell you, just pray, because you
believe in your God and not in yourself.
Now I tell you that you broke my boxes.
Go on your way and I on mine.
- Okay, I'll pray for you.
- Bravo, pray, so you don't sweat.
Oh! Look over there.
Then they exist.
- Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord
is with you. - Sorry, who are you?
- Aah!
- Do something, it's giving birth!
- How is it possible that when I arrive, they
give birth? - You had to be an obstetrician.
- Come on!
- Come on, Your Majesty.
I'll take care of your son!
Her Majesty,
the crib is a serious matter.
Sorry if I touch it.
But it should move further,
otherwise it decentralizes the hut.
- The donkey has to stay here?
- Will warm the baby.
- It's roasting!
- You do the saint, I make the cribs.
Perfect, we're almost there.
Except, you have to do me a courtesy.
- Everything is there, only the ox is missing. - Where
can I find it? - Where you want, but find it.
- I find it, but then she does the miracle,
with the good or the bad. - Yes, go.
Here, stay like that.
Show your hand. Have it, show it.
The tummy. We move the stick,
so it looks good. Perfect.
We wait for the ox,
the comet and we can give birth.
- Worried? - A bit'.
- I understood why you're hypnotizing me.
- You walk back and forth.
- Hopefully he's a quiet kid. - Yup.
He will be a peaceful child. Things get
complicated after the age of thirty.
It does the things everyone does.
Multiply the loaves,
walk on the water, raise the dead.
- The dead? - They made us four gospels and a
lot of movies. I don't believe it, though...
Can I speak to you sincerely? I admire you. You,
even though you know you are not the father...
- How? - Yes, everyone knows!
I would not have accepted a son of
mine, imagine one who is not mine!
Merry Christmas!
I don't want to insist, it's not like me.
But the boy must be called Jesus.
- My father-in-law is called Methuselah.
- Don't give him my father's name. - Because?
He is right, with all respect. It must
be Jesus, it has always been this way.
- What do you say, "here is Methuselah's
body"? - It doesn't sound good.
With all due respect, Jesus must be called.
You tell her, St. Joseph.
- Giuseppe? My name is Giovanni. - No, he
will have misunderstood when he was born.
- It must be called Giuseppe. - Do you
want to know better what we call it?
- Susanna, who is this Giuseppe?
- I do not know.
Giovanni, Susanna.
Do we have to reprint the santini?
The three kings have arrived.
Gentlemen, unfortunately we were wrong.
They seemed to them.
The beard, the stick, the hut.
But in fact, the comet was missing.
- The comet matters.
- It's important. - He stole my ox.
No, I didn't steal it!
I took it for the crib.
Christmas ends and everything passes.
- Then he asked me. Cut off his hand.
- There's no need.
We are not thieves, we are foreigners.
We come from far away.
- How far? - Very far.
- Follow us. - No! Christmas with
his, New Year with whoever you want.
- No! - Here we go.
There is no need to do this.
- Walk!
- Susanna, who is Giuseppe?
- I do not know.
Look at that set of teeth!
Look at how they are made.
They have strong arms!
- Kneel before the great Herod.
- Herod?
What are you doing? Get up.
Foreigners are welcome here.
In fact, I would be honored if you
accepted my invitation for dinner tonight.
We would love to.
But we are very dirty.
Another time we go
to eat all together.
You don't have to worry,
you will have plenty of time to prepare.
We have so many things to say, don't we?
Scratch, scratch, scratch.
To the right.
Scratch, scratch. Aah!
- They talk so much about slavery, but
it's a wonderful thing. - What do you say?
- Herod is a delightful person.
- Because you don't know the story.
He had brother-in-law, wife and two
children killed to keep the throne.
- He had all the relatives killed.
- We are not relatives. What do I care!
Enjoy your life!
Why are you an enemy of contentment?
Is Herod Bad? It's a bale!
Do you have a little
duck to pass the time?
How beautiful is Year Zero!
It was me, him,
Magellan and Marco Polo.
I said: "Marco,
the future is China".
- The China. - China, Herod!
China, trust me.
Don't underestimate them too!
- They open a kingdom next door and
make you close. The China. - The China.
- Herod, the cloth merchant has arrived.
- Now let's not talk about fabrics.
I am here for the pleasure of meeting
you and renewing our friendship.
Isaiah, Isaiah!
If you were a friend,
you would also make friend prices.
No?
Ah! Are you stupid?
Have a laugh!
Sir, I took the liberty of bringing
a treat from my land as a gift.
It is a sign of my gratitude.
The cannoli.
- So you're from Syracuse.
- Yes, you know? - Sure.
I have my aunt Stefania in Syracuse.
She is married to Uncle Angelino who has
a fruit and vegetable shop in Ortigia.
You take Corso Gelone...
- Okay, what do I explain? - Appears, if you
come to Sicily, you have to look for me.
- You are my guests, all paid. - Compare,
when are you leaving? - Day after tomorrow.
- Appears, if I wanted to come with you?
- Appears, whenever you want.
I propose a toast to my two kind
guests who come from far away.
What a wonderful person!
There were some from us!
A toast to my friend Isaiah too...
..and its fabulous cylinders.
Cylinders that?
They are called so because
they have the cylinder shape.
- What does that have to do with anything? - What do
you say? - I miss you put chocolate and candied fruit.
- This doesn't look like cannoli. - It's
called that because it is shaped like a cane.
You are still at Year Zero.
Cannoli.
Nice, cannoli.
I like it. Cannoli.
It has arrived! You don't have to
like them, they are called "cannoli".
Here we eat many,
especially in this period. It is a custom.
What other customs do you have?
- Twenty four. - Eve.
Eighty-one is out?
No.
- Seventy two. - The wheel.
- Eighty-one is out? - No.
I guess. What number is it?
- Twelve. - Yes, oh well!
- What guess are you? Fifty one.
- The wolf.
- Eighty-one is out? No.
- But the dealer made five.
- No! - It happens.
- Thirty three.
- The years of Christ. - Who?
Oh well.
Oh! Eighty one!
Is eighty-two out?
I'll take it because you...
- Here. - Twenty.
- Il Bambinello.
Speaking of baby...
What do you know about the birth
of this future King of Kings?
Eh? No, no. I ask you,
because I would like to worship him too.
- I would like to worship the king of the
Jews. - I miss you believe it. - You hurt.
We must always believe in kings
and bow to their magnificence.
Forty seven.
Then?
- It's not cool what you're doing.
- I know.
I hosted you in my house,
I fed you, I gave you drinks.
I thought we were friends and for
me friends are like relatives.
No, Herod. Friends are one thing
and relatives are one thing.
Ouch, ouch!
Eighty two.
Who of you two will tell me where this
child is is going to have his life saved.
- You know it? - I swear, I don't
know which kid we're talking about.
You know it?
- No thanks.
- Now we'll see if you talk.
Too bad,
still a number and I was bingo.
We do not talk. - If not, they kill Jesus.
- What do I care about Jesus!
If we don't talk, they won't kill us.
We serve them alive. Shut up, please!
Shut up!
Are they at least sterilized?
So I get some disease!
I'm allergic to torture! Wait up.
Get to know each other, make friends.
Do me what you want, I will never speak.
Dying as a martyr is an honor for me.
Who knows if your
friend thinks like you.
Ouch!
You hurt me!
I said you hurt me!
Are you stupid? You hurt me!
Ouch!
- Enough, don't go mad with him.
So where's the baby?
- The comet. You hurt!
- A bright comet will arrive.
Follow her and she will take you to him.
- Well. - Ouch!
Ouch!
You are cowards. Bastards!
- Cursed crap!
- They are alive. Carrion.
I said you're carrion!
- Traitors! Cowards!
- When we go out...
- When we go out, you are dead.
- You're dead! Shut up!
Are you really going out?
You are dead. You are all dead!
The pit is ready. Close.
Ouch! They are boastful.
They threaten, but we serve them alive.
If we don't talk, they won't kill us.
They gave me two lashes, then they realized
that I'm a tough guy and they stopped.
We did well not to speak.
The plan is perfect.
I say. We did well not to
speak, so they don't kill us.
- I said everything.
- How did you say everything?
I told you not to speak!
You don't have to trust anyone.
Why did you do that?
They would have killed you and
you have nothing to do with it.
I wanted to save a friend
and I didn't succeed.
We are not friends.
Stella, starlet...
Where are you?
Wake Up! Today is a beautiful day to die.
Let the party begin!
Open the door. Hey, wake up!
- Then? Who wants to die first?
- Start with me. - Get up.
Wait, come on. We are friends.
What a beautiful thing, we are all moved.
Here we go.
- You are generous. - Ouch!
- Now everything passes.
- It is the right end that traitors do.
- Sorry, Rebecca.
Good death!
I'll handle that.
Come on, my friend.
I'll handle that. Stay behind me.
I'll take care of it, my friend.
- Street!
- Here we go! - Escape!
Salvo! Wake Up!
- The Tiger. - There is not.
- How is it not? - The tiger is gone.
- It is not possible.
- There is no more. - It's a miracle!
The Lord has performed the miracle!
Lord, for the first time I asked for
your help and you listened to me!
- What do you say?
- Praise be to you, my Lord.
- You got me out of the pit of death and
the mud of the swamp. - What do you say?
- Your light saved me! - It was the laser
light. - You have become an unbeliever.
How is it possible? I will knock on every
door and announce the voice of the Lord!
- Those are Jehovah's Witnesses.
We must save Jesus! - Then let's pray.
- Indeed, let's sing. Those who
sing pray twice. - Laudato be...
- We must save Jesus!
- Let's say the rosary. - Just pray. Here.
Leave me!
Street!
- Let's get those horses. - We can't,
they're not ours. - What do you say?
Manco we can wish you. We sin in
thoughts, words, works and omissions.
- Do you want to know more about me?
- Listen... - We will never reach Herod.
- It has a huge advantage. - We know
that the star will arrive in Bethlehem.
- Herod does not know. - Because?
- I didn't tell you. - You lied!
Sir, he bore false testimony.
Forgive him. Wait up!
Oh! Look over there.
Sorry, forgive me.
- We came in because my wife was about
to give birth. - We are not the owners.
- So who are you?
- We are two wayfarers.
- Are you just born? - Yup.
- Can we see it? So, out of curiosity.
- Yes sure.
Come on.
Are you Giuseppe and Maria?
- How do you know our names?
- Forget it, it's a long story.
I have seen it without a beard and
without the round-headed stick.
- I couldn't recognize it. - Is a
child born like this, without a beard?
The ox and the donkey are also missing.
It's beautiful!
Come on, I'll take care of it.
The comet star has been in the
same direction for a long time.
- In front of us there is only Bethlehem.
- Then to Bethlehem!
When people ask you things, answer,
otherwise it seems that you don't exist.
- Can we postpone this theological
controversy? - Yes, it's better.
Thanks.
Thanks to you and to you too. Good luck.
- Say hello to Egypt.
Oh!
We would like to ask you for a courtesy.
Since we come from far away...
- From far away.
- We would love to go home.
He is still small,
he cannot perform the miracle.
- Can you do it?
- Why do you ask me? You have to ask God.
You are down here.
Do I need to get to him up there?
Then we prayed. - Yes. - But God
doesn't listen to us, we're still here.
Maybe because men
do real miracles.
Thanks for everything and goodbye.
Too bad,
I was hoping for this miracle.
- Come on, Herod is coming!
- Yup.
This is yours.
Merry Christmas.
- Stop, bastards!
- Cursed! - Calm down.
The story is much more
complicated than you think.
I understand that you are disappointed.
But the truth is that we
are not revolutionaries.
- We are not from this world, we are not
Palestinians. - In fact, you are traitors!
I trusted you.
Herod! Come, let's hide here.
They went away.
Let's go to Bethlehem.
- Why didn't I think of that? - At what?
- Herod does not find Jesus and has all the
babies of Bethlehem killed. - It's foolish.
How will we know
which baby is right?
- We kill them all. - I said so.
How did you know?
- It's a long story. Let's not waste time.
- Let's go to Bethlehem to warn everyone.
- We are two on a horse.
- They would come before us.
- It would take a miracle.
- Oh! What are you doing?
- Now we take your horse.
- You take ours when Herod is gone.
- Where are you going?
To do the miracle.
Joseph, we have to escape to Egypt.
Herod wants to kill our son.
- Before I die I have to say,
your rhymes make shit. - Go!
Street!
Come on, it's over for them now.
- God, I regret my sins. Too bad I
offended you who... - Accelerate!
- Cowards! - Plan!
Scoundrels!
- Here you are finally. Carrion!
- Again?
We are the good guys. The good guys!
- Coupons! We also have the Bambinello.
- Then Herod is chasing us.
- I'll skin you alive.
- You must have had a difficult childhood.
- You are inappropriate and uneducated.
- Herod is coming! Hezekiah!
Men on horseback arrive!
Brothers,
fate is still on our side!
Attack!
Cursed.
Here we go.
- No! - Aah!
No!
See you soon, tidbit.
Ah!
- You go to the next church and confess.
- I did nothing!
Arretriamo!
My king, the enemies run away.
What are we doing? Are we chasing them?
No, let's go back.
The babies of Bethlehem are waiting for us.
Mom, aren't we waiting
for Salvo and Valentino?
Look,
Salvo and Valentino are back!
Are back!
Are back!
Come here. Here you are! - You were
expecting us, huh? How beautiful it is!
- Can you give me a little?
- Okay, keep it a little.
Calogero!
How beautiful is Calogero!
- It got bigger. - If you knew
how much I prayed to God for you.
It's okay to pray to God, but every now
and then it wouldn't be bad to help him.
- Calogero!
- Valentino, you are finally here.
- Elia! - It seems true.
Hello.
- You didn't want to go home?
- Yup.
But I don't have anyone at home.
Here maybe I have a family.
- Best wishes. - Thanks.
Little sister, I don't want to disturb
you, but we have to leave.
Marching!
I ask for the last time.
Where they went?
I do not know.
- My lord, your humble servant...
- Go to the point, I hate flatterers.
- I would know how to make him talk.
- Just do it.
- What a bad thing you did!
- I betray adults, not children.
Now let's get you talking.
Sir, this man has
something to tell you.
- Prepare the horses. - Traitor!
No!
I don't want to insist,
but you turn dressed like santini.
- Let's not start again. - It wasn't that absurd.
- It was me, Valentino and the baby boy.
- We entered a reed bed and from
2019 we found ourselves here. - Yet?
- You believe it? - It's the truth!
- Now run. - I'm not a donkey.
Here we go!
We saw it badly.
The tiger has arrived. I grabbed
her by the tail and spun her around.
I slammed her on the ground and said, "Stop
there, otherwise I'll give you the rest."
Valentino was crying. I put it on the
horse and said, "Shut up or slap you."
Look over there!
Herod's men!
- Here we go! - Let's run away!
- Here we go! Come!
Come!
May the power given to me by God fall
upon these waters and open them...
.. pointing the way to
salvation to my people.
My God, let me hear your voice!
Compare!
Compare!
Compare! - Compare!
Come on, get on!
Compare! Compare!
- It's a pleasure to see you.
- Do you know that the idea of calling them
cannoli is pleasing? - Then let's talk about it.
- Go! - Power!
Stay away. - Down!
- Now. - Pull!
Yup!
Why doesn't anyone love me?
- Yes, we are here!
- We are here!
- I'll explain later. We are here!
- Where are you going?
You don't have permission to pass.
Like? Which permit?
- We come from far away.
- From far away.
I know. We would pass you by, but they
say they don't know where to put you.
I know where to put them!
Father, with all due respect.
It is beautiful,
but such a crib has never been seen.
St. Joseph without a beard,
the ox and the donkey are missing.
- Oh well, but it was so.
- Because? Was she there?
are yet to be seen in 2019.
He is right.
- The grainy image, the faded colors.
There is no brightness.
Are you sure it's 4K?
Yes sure. It is also written.
Bah! Oh well.
How much does that cost?
- Four thousand euros. - If I close
a deal tonight, I almost buy it.
All right?
You have plenty of them.
- Merry Christmas. See you later.
- Same to you.
Merry Christmas.
- How did you dress?
We forgot about the last ones.
We don't see them, we are taken by trivial things.
But there is a way to help the last ones.
Indeed, there are three.
Pray, pray, pray.
Whoever prays is never wrong
and God will help them.
Also this year we will
be helped by God...
..to build the wonderful living nativity
scene that gives prestige to our country.
Because the crib is not only the house
of God, it is the house of all of us!
Well, now let's get up.
I believe in one God, Almighty Father...
..creator of Heaven and Earth.
Seventeen.
Oh well, let's do eighteen.
Ssh!
Beautiful!
It is really beautiful!
It is a marvel.
- What do you count? They are right,
don't you trust? - Honestly, no.
- Do you trust me?
- Honestly? No.
- I salute you. - We give thanks to God!
- No, we thank those who believe it.
Ssh!
Here more sawdust.
In Jesus' time, carpenters worked hard.
Because? Was she there?
- Don't argue.
The crib is a serious matter and above
all we put more straw in the hut.
Here the son of God is born.
Do we realize? Then he must leave
more room for the ox and the donkey.
- Father, come here.
- I don't know anymore... - Come.
Wonderful! We waited a long
time, but it was worth it.
- But there is a problem. - What's up?
- The crane to carry it up.
- Raffaele has had a job and doesn't
give it anymore. - How do we do it?
- Do we have to put it on the top church?
- Sure.
It is called "comet star" because it
is high. Do I put it at a human height?
- So how do we do? - It would take a
miracle. - No, it would take a crane.
But yet...
Maybe, maybe, I know who to ask.
Our father who is up
there, bring another crane.
Our father,
make a gesture and do it very soon.
Stronger, otherwise our
Lord does not hear us.
- Father, those of television have arrived.
- You go on.
Harder! Our father who is up
there, bring another crane.
It is a long-awaited appointment.
On 20 December the external lighting system
of the cathedral will be switched on.
It is a great job that will restore
brightness to the upper part of the monument.
Until now it had remained hidden.
Now the whole square will shine.
Let's move on to the news. No news
regarding the theft of the monstrance...
.. dating back to the 17th century, completed
last night at the Museum of Religious Art.
It is not clear why the criminals
tampered with the heating system...
.. instead of the alarm system.
Let's turn the page.
The Christmas holidays are approaching.
In Roccadimezzo Sicula, work is being done on
the preparation of the living nativity scene.
The work goes on and on.
Soon my perpetual and I will begin
auditions for the main roles.
- The Blessed Virgin, Saint Joseph, the Three
Kings. - There is the long awaited moment.
Yes, also this year all the
citizens of Roccadimezzo Sicula...
..and all those who wish will be able to
admire the figurine of the Baby Jesus.
- Here she is.
- Attributed to Giovan Battista Mazzolo.
- He is one of the most influential sculptors
of the fifteenth century. - They say.
Certainly listeners don't
care about material value...
..but what the life of Jesus
represents for each of us.
- From Roccadimezzo Sicula that's all.
- When do we see it? - On TG tonight.
Not bad.
But I have to call you
back, the stick is wrong.
St. Joseph had the stick with the
round tip. However it does not affect.
- You wipe out.
- Giuseppe, comfort doesn't count.
The Magi will
arrive in this hut.
"The comforts don't count,
the Three Kings will arrive in this hut."
It took me six months to write these
rhymes. Six months, day and night.
Maria, look how nice!
The ox and the donkey will warm us.
- Mr. Giovanni, we will let you know. - He
always says that. I have been testing for years.
Maria, let's not talk about it anymore.
A baby was born. Jesus was born.
- The next! - In Egypt you have to run
away because Herod wants your son to kill.
- Mr. Giovanni, can you do the
little angel? - He recognized me.
We have come to Bethlehem
on our camels...
.. bringing the richest
and most beautiful gifts.
Giuseppe, this is a godsend!
- Let's stop here, in this hut.
- We'll let you know.
- I brought myrrh.
- Mr. Giovanni.
Is it possible that there is no
one up to the situation? One!
- So we don't make the crib this year?
- Is it possible not to do it?
- I make the Madonna and you Saint Joseph?
- Don't mess with these things.
- We make another announcement and look for
candidates. See you tomorrow. - No! Pure tomorrow?
- There is the last Saint Joseph.
- Another? - Yes. - I can imagine!
Come on!
- Good morning, Father Valentino. - He knows
me? - I was able to appreciate it on TV.
You are welcome.
Just a moment,
to get into character.
- Well.
- The character of St. Joseph is difficult.
- Basic. - Basic.
Here is our goal,
there is also the comet.
If the view doesn't deceive
me, we have reached the hut.
Yes, Maria, I see the ox,
but there are two beasts.
The last piece is missing,
I let the donkey in.
- Good boy! Really good.
- Good boy.
When the text is well written,
it is easy to enter the character.
- Do you like my rhymes? - Ah!
For me, as a believer, playing this
character would be a unique emotion.
I congratulate you for everything.
For the beard, for the stick.
- Can I have the privilege of
embracing you? - It is an honor.
His interpretation moved me.
Thanks!
- I felt such an emotion only when I
met the Holy Father. - I'm flattered.
Don't tell me anything
now, let me know.
I have never seen a St.
Joseph so content.
You can see that he is a
respectable, sincere person.
God wanted to put
this man on our path.
- These are the oxen candidates
for the hut. - I do not know.
I don't know because that doesn't
have the conscious eye of the moment.
Instead that has a deeper look,
more suited to the condition.
But the shape of the mouth
leaves me a little perplexed.
Ssh!
Come to dad.
- In the village the oxen are finished.
- We search in neighboring countries.
- Good morning. Good morning. - Remember?
He wanted to see them in context.
It's true!
Seen in context, they seem perfect.
We'll let you know. Thanks.
Depenni.
There's not really here...
The keys? The keys...
Father, where are you going? We have to
look at the donkeys who came to the ballot!
St. Joseph?
To the thief!
To the thief! To the thief!
Get him!
- Oh! What do we care? Let's go away.
- Indeed.
Bimba!
Thanks.
Sorry, baby. Did you see...
St. Joseph!
Stop!
- Thief! Stop! - Stop it!
Stop, God is watching you!
- Tell him to turn away.
- Stop, thief!
To the thief! St. Joseph!
Who are you "fuck"?
St. Joseph!
Stop!
Stop!
Oh!
So much mess for a baby boy? If you had
stolen the crib, what would you have done?
What are you doing?
You don't have to arrest him!
It is not...
Slowly. You hurt me!
Plan! Next year,
you don't make the crib.
Be silent and stand in line.
Insurgent, you go there.
- Thief, you over there. What
are they doing? - They divide us.
The rioters on the cart and
the thieves cut their hands.
- Always a family rebel.
- Insurgent.
Where are you taking me?
They are waiting for me to make the crib.
- What happens?
- The Romans make arrests to quell riots.
But they won't succeed! Herod is
a puppet in the hands of Augustus.
Augustus, the Romans.
How big is the crib you made?
- Where we are?
- We are in Judea.
Enough with this clowning!
A minute ago we were at Christmas and
now we are at Carnival! Look at them.
What are you dressed for?
Go!
It's your fault. If I hadn't been a
thief, we wouldn't have ended up here.
- My fault? - Yes. - It's your fault that
you're chasing me. You are not a carabiniere.
You are a priest. Do weddings and baptisms.
Because of you, I ended up among the madmen.
- Work! Silence!
- Oh well, fuck.
- When are we done? - To finish? The
streets of Rome arrive all over the world.
- I've been here for ten years.
- Ten years?
Are you doing
Jerusalem-Reggio Calabria?
In the name of the Father, the Son
and the Holy Spirit. Bless this food.
- Didn't you have time to bless him?
- Don't mess with these things.
Here, I offer you mine. It eats.
I know it's a nightmare.
Now I fall asleep and you too will
disappear tomorrow morning. Etc.
- Finally! How long did it take you? - There's
the census. The Romans are everywhere.
Census?
Alarm! The Zealots attack us!
Escape! Here! - Here we go!
They are all sold out. Here we go!
- Where is it? - I'm going home.
You do what you want.
- Maybe because it was raining the other
day and not today? - Resign yourself.
We ended up in Year Zero,
in the time of Jesus.
How is it possible? Now what do we do?
What are we doing?
- Thinking about it,
there would be hope. I mean?
- Did you hear that there is a census?
- Yup.
St. Joseph and the Madonna go from
Nazareth to Bethlehem to be registered.
We find the Madonna and we do
the miracle of returning in 2019.
- From the Madonna. - Jesus is too small.
- The Madonna, the miracles.
I don't believe in these things!
I only believe in rational things.
Does it seem rational
to end up in Year Zero?
- Trust me, we need a miracle.
- No.
We need a locksmith. Here we go.
- What's so important?
- My king, I have no good news.
The stars have revealed to me
that the future is nefarious.
We change the future.
A child will be born who will become the
only and undisputed king of the Jews.
Where do I find this phenomenon?
The stars have revealed no more to me.
I only see two strangers.
Only they will be able to give you
the answers you are looking for.
Two strangers! Where am I?
I don't know this,
but I know they come from far away.
- How far? - From far away.
You are too vague to be a fortune teller.
No Please! Please!
Sir, I don't do it anymore.
I don't laugh anymore! I swear!
Find these two strangers who come
from far away and bring them here.
I can not handle it anymore!
I'm hungry, I'm thirsty. Let's stop.
At the next service oasis,
we order two sandwiches and a mineral.
Or do you want the orange drink?
But walk!
Ouch! Alzala.
- Who knows if there is water! How deep
will it be? - Let's see immediately.
- What is that? - Mind your own
business! Tools of the trade.
You have the crucifix,
I have the meter.
- Five and thirty-three,
thirty-four meters. - Five meters?
Five meters?
They are ancient stones, old models.
They don't go at speed.
Oh!
- Good morning. - Good morning.
- Do you have water?
Look, what's the closest city?
- Beyond the hills, there is Bethlehem.
- Then you know Giuseppe and Maria.
- He has a beard, a stick with a round tip.
She is pregnant. - No.
- Do you know a blacksmith?
- No. - He doesn't know anything.
- You know me? - No.
- I don't know myself.
Oh well, if I asked the donkey,
I did it first. - No. - Come on.
You realize?
This is the city where Jesus was born.
- You will see, Our Lady does the
miracle for us. - Let's go come on!
Plan. Don't pull, slide!
Don't show the chains.
- Give something. I'm hungry!
- We too.
Taxes are paid.
You all pay.
Without taxes how do we do it?
Watch!
- What do you want? - Why do you treat
them like this? - Children worry me.
- Are you foreigners? - Yes.
- Do you come from afar? - From far away.
- I bet you need a locksmith.
- Because? It shows?
There he is.
- Are you sure he's good?
- No, he's the only one there.
- Here we go? - Here we go!
Good morning. Sorry.
In the meantime,
we thank you for your attention.
Oh!
- Thanks! - Thanks.
- Thanks? Thirty shekels. - Eh?
- Thirty shekels!
- What are shekels?
- We just arrived and we left the
money at home. - Thirty shekels!
- Let's do one thing, she signs.
- Exactly. - We review, we are always here.
The chains, a bracelet, the necklace.
We always find something to cut.
Now it's better to cut the rope.
Thank you goodbye.
- We don't like people who don't pay here.
- Who doesn't want to pay?
- I pay, he doesn't want to pay.
- I want to pay. - What are you paying for?
- You live on alms. - I pay and pray.
- What do you say? Feel.
There was a misunderstanding. Let's do
like this. Go sit down, I'll talk to them.
I put it all right.
Go, I'll take care of it.
Can I talk to you?
You are two wonderful people.
It can be seen with the naked eye.
That one.
These are crazy. For thirty shekels
they wanted to cut our hand.
- You have to understand them, they are people from two
thousand years ago. - They are barbarians. - Exactly.
- How did it end? - We don't pay.
- Well! - But they cut it for you.
- You are crazy? - A hand is enough
for you to bless. Stop, Nicodemus!
- They are my friends, they are
revolutionaries. - Yes, live the revolution!
It was me, him and Garibaldi. We arrived
in Marsala together with the Mille.
- Cavour calls us and says: "Tomorrow or
Rome or death". - That was Nino Bixio. - Eh!
- What bastards! I hate these Romans.
- Isaac, stop saying these things.
- Father, we should always be silent for
you. - Isaac is right about the Romans.
A while back,
we used to say "thieving Rome".
Then they forgot it.
Thieving Rome.
Thieving Rome. - Thieving Rome.
At least the Romans pay, you don't!
You owe me thirty shekels, I don't forget.
You would sell your children
to the Romans if you had any.
Rebecca,
this is not the way to speak.
- Excuse her, Nicodemus. It won't happen
again. - You always owe me thirty shekels!
It's almost ready, come and eat.
What are you doing? It is not a game
for children. This size is dangerous.
- Why do you put your hands? - Sara,
don't bother. - Mom, it's beautiful.
- And your mother? - Yup.
- Then those Thousand? - Which Thousand?
- Those dressed in red.
You see?
The good Lord follows our steps.
Watch over our actions
and judge our works.
You must always remember it.
You must never forget it, for a lifetime.
When the Bourbons surrounded
you, were you afraid? - No.
- I don't know fear.
- Sara, leave them alone. They are tired.
- Go get some water. Take a seat.
- Thanks.
Won't you wash?
- You see? But they are clean.
- Yup.
But it has a strange smell.
- It is turmeric, to disinfect.
Ssh!
We come from afar, so...
- You are welcome. Thanks.
- We refreshed ourselves well.
Finally one thing to eat!
Sorry. It is for everyone.
Before we begin,
we thank God for the food tonight.
You thank God, but we work all day and
the Romans take the harvest from us.
- We have to rebel. We are not many, but
together with the others... - They kill us.
- Quite right. Meanwhile... the Zealots
are ready. - This is not the way.
Let us pray to God and
he will solve everything.
- Quite right. If one prays, one is
never wrong. - You can't live like this.
We are at the mercy of Herod and the Roman
army. How much longer do we have to endure?
- My sister is right. - Tomorrow they are getting
married and they don't even have a banquet.
- They took the ram to celebrate.
- We said we only had that.
- But they didn't hear reasons.
- Take the ball and don't get married.
Except, can you tell us about the
revolution you made with the cigar people?
It was me, him, Fidel Castro,
Che Guevara and a small group of fighters.
Remember? We arrived in Cuba and there
were five hundred enemies waiting for us.
After two hours, there were five
hundred corpses on the field.
Move away!
I don't know how to tell her anymore. They
come from Nazareth, they are on a donkey.
He is called Giuseppe.
He has a stick with a round tip.
- He has a long beard and his wife is pregnant.
- But the son is not his. - Exactly.
- What do you mean? - The real father
of the child is the father of all of us.
- What are you saying? - This is nothing,
Marshal. Father and son are the same thing.
- If you say "dad", all three turn around.
- Both. - There is also the Holy Spirit.
It all starts with the arrival of
the archangel Gabriel who says...
Gabriele, Gabriele...
- What are you doing?
- What the...
He cannot find Gabriele because
he cannot be registered.
- Gabriele does not see anyone.
- Only the Madonna sees it.
He comes to Maria and
makes the Annunciation.
"Maria, you will give birth to the son of God!"
- "Maria, you will give birth to the son
of God! Maria..." - Enough! We understood.
- This happened nine months ago.
- The son of God is called Jesus.
- Jesus. - Jesus.
Jesus!
- Am I missing Jesus?
- I miss the catechism! - Jesus!
Jesus! Guardi.
- This is him when he grows up.
- Go tell someone else these stories!
- Here I have to work!
- It's important. - The next. - Plan.
I told you they don't exist.
- Giuseppe what job do you do? - What a job
he must do! Talk about imaginary people.
- He's a carpenter. You know him?
- Not him. Maybe I know your cousin.
We don't know how they are made,
but they are foreigners and come from afar.
- From far away. I don't know, I haven't
seen them. I swear. I was working.
So instead of working,
be careful of who goes by.
Can you be more precise?
They must know when they arrive.
- I do not know! They should arrive
in a couple of days. - Are you sure?
My sister arrived yesterday from Nazareth.
He says they left immediately after them.
- You lost! - You distracted me.
Now you pay me for the information.
- We do not have money. - Then go away.
- We don't have any. - Street!
Street!
Have you heard? They have not arrived.
So Jesus has yet to be born.
- Our Lady makes us the miracle
of going back. - I'm hungry.
- The miracle of the loaves and fishes is enough
for me. - How do I call it? Holy Madonna.
- Or His Most Holy Highness.
- Call it what you want, you're the fan.
- Who are you talking about? - It's a
long story. I can call you His Majesty.
Call it your honor.
Go, I'm busy.
- What? - I have to say goodbye to
relatives. - Can I come too? - No love.
These are adult things.
Children can't do it.
Greeting relatives is dangerous.
- Go. - Excellent is fine.
Paying taxes is fair.
He doesn't smile. You smile!
See you next month.
We proceed.
How many beautiful fish!
- Here.
- Did you put everything inside?
Okay, go.
Maria, the time has come,
but free inns I have not found.
Giuseppe, this is a godsend.
Let's stop here, in this hut.
- Well done! - This when it happened?
- If God wants, it will happen soon.
- Do you hear the screams? My cousin is giving
birth. - Here too we are expecting a baby.
Help me!
Breathe! Calm and breathe.
Breathe.
- Breathe!
- You breathe, it's the fifth child!
Push. - Push, push.
There!
Eight and fifty.
Oh well, let's do nine.
Ssh!
It's always nice to
see a baby being born.
- Have you decided what to call it?
- Not yet.
I have many children.
What would you call it?
Calogero.
Calogero.
It's an unusual name, but I like it.
I will call him Calogero.
Welcome, Calogero.
- Hi, Hi!
- What are you doing there?
Quiet, I'll help you.
- What are you doing? That cuts.
- I know.
Go away! No.
What the... No, no!
Are you hurt?
Escape!
Escape!
- You were going to ruin my plan.
- It seems to me not.
- Is the road right?
- Yes, it's a shortcut.
There are no men of
Herod or Romans here.
As soon as we arrive, I give you two
apples, then each one on his way.
- Don't tell anyone what's behind
because it's my stuff. - Trust me.
- You're not married, are you?
- No. - Don't you have kids? - No!
- Then it's perfect. - What? - You
don't have kids and I don't have a dad.
- Why don't you have kids?
- Please, I can't take it anymore! - Watch!
Salvo brought food to celebrate
Davide and Noa's wedding.
Which is? All right!
No! Because? All right.
- All right. Come on,
otherwise I get the itch. - Thanks.
It is very beautiful what
you have done for us.
Smile, otherwise you see that
it is your first good deed.
To the newlyweds!
May God's blessing come upon you.
Calogero.
- What's your name? - Elijah.
- Elijah, let me introduce you to Calogero.
It was a little risky.
However, I couldn't help but bring the baby.
Can you tell me how it went?
I realized that the
roof was the only way.
I got on. I calculated that it was
thirty-two, thirty-four meters.
I lowered the rope and
went down like a spindle.
- Dangerous! You risked a lot.
- I did it for the newlyweds.
We only get married
once, it's the best day.
Why are you not married?
Sara told me.
We revolutionaries are always
around the world fighting.
A riot here, a riot there. What do I do?
Can I bring the family?
We are now foreigners in our home.
Speaking of foreigners,
Herod is looking for two. Are you? - No.
Nobody knows we're here.
I didn't know I miss him!
We revolutionaries never leave a
trace of us, except in history.
- Have you seen how beautiful Calogero is?
- Calogero, in Bethlehem.
Yes. I put it on her!
My father was called Calogero.
- You have to see how he laughs!
- Because he doesn't know what his name is.
- Best wishes!
- Thanks. - Thanks.
- I'm sorry, I didn't bring anything.
- Your gift is your presence.
To Salvo and Valentino, enter our
community like a ray of sunshine!
- Hurray! - Here you are, rags!
Break it all up!
You had fun with my stuff!
Don't worry,
they gave me thirty shekels.
- If this continues, I prefer to die.
- At least I'll have tried. Stop that.
My daughter, listen to me.
Violence does nothing good and you know it.
You are blind. For you,
Nicodemus was also a good person.
Isaac, what a joy to see you again!
- Brothers.
- I called them, father.
Today we are no longer alone. We have Hezekiah
and his companions. We will join them.
They will all kill you.
I prefer to die
once only every day.
Brothers, fate served us
revenge on a silver platter.
Herod will meet the Roman governor at the
spa tonight. There are many more of us.
If we take them by surprise, we can do it.
Some of us will hide here.
Others will stand behind.
Here are the sentries that two of us will
have to kill before they sound the alarm.
- Who wants to go? - I! - No!
To do this, you need expert people.
Only they can do it.
They are experts in revolutions.
If you keep sending expert
people, you never learn.
- I don't trust that one.
I recognize carrion from the smell. No.
- They traveled the world fighting
for freedom. It's true. - True.
All right, you're going to slaughter the
sentries before they sound the alarm.
Sgozzarle?
Do you prefer to strangle them? It gives
more pleasure, but it takes more time.
- What do you want to do?
- Just agree.
I don't want some strangling, others
slaughter and we are not coordinated.
Blood will flow,
second thoughts are not allowed.
If someone steps back...
God, Jesus, Madonna and saints,
I ask everyone for help.
Our Lady of Sorrows, pass the night.
Glorious virgin, make something happen.
- Please... - I know you and your
friend have fought so many battles.
Yes, although I always say "love
your next enemy as yourself".
I like men who
respect the enemy.
Do you know you're a nice tidbit?
- I want you! - Don't want other
people's stuff, it's a sin.
- Then nothing can be done.
- In battle, attack me, protect me.
- Count on me.
- I feel safe near you.
Are you worried?
- Not for me, I'm worried about you.
If something happens to
you, Sara remains alone.
I almost give up on myself. I have fought
a thousand battles, enjoy yourselves.
- You go. - Do not worry.
Here, it's a lucky charm.
It belonged to my husband.
- Was? - He died in battle
when Sara was six months old.
Zealot Brothers, the time has come.
Wait up. When you gave your husband
good luck for the last fight...
.. did you also give him a kiss?
I have to confess!
A woman kissed me.
If all goes well,
you will soon confess to your boss.
You are ready? - Finally!
- Well, on the march.
Go, it's time. A blow to the throat.
When you are done, give us the signal.
If you think about it...
Dear Governor!
I bow down to you and
the power of Rome.
- I hate flatterers. Where are the towels?
- The towels?
Prepare towels for the governor.
I broke his arm with a blow.
Then I said, "Now you won't have
to struggle to wash two hands."
Come.
It was screaming like a chicken.
I said to him, "So you learn to be a
revolutionary" and I put him in prison.
Did Herod know?
- I'm there. - What are we doing?
Hezekiah kills us if we go back.
- There is no choice, we must go on.
- Do you want to kill them? - Shut up.
- Hide the weapon and follow me.
- What do you say? - Walk!
- Make me do it, I have a plan.
- He begged me not to hurt him.
What do you want? Speaks!
- We wanted to take a bath in the spa. - This
evening is impossible, there is the king.
There is the king! Here because.
- What do you mean? - Because...
- He said there are armed people outside.
- I didn't say anything.
- It's not true. - They are armed to the
teeth. - Sound the alarm. - What do you say?
- I did not know. I did my duty as
a citizen. - Don't listen to him.
- Get out of the way! - See you later.
- Let's go away. What have you done?
Come! Come.
No... No!
- What did I do?
- Stop! - Don't move!
It's a trap.
Cursed!
Here we go.
What a privilege! The Zealots.
- You sent them to die!
- Did you want to die?
- Now how do we ask the miracle of
Our Lady? - Enough with these crap!
- You are an egoist. Think only of yourself and
not of others. - What are you doing for others?
I'll tell you, just pray, because you
believe in your God and not in yourself.
Now I tell you that you broke my boxes.
Go on your way and I on mine.
- Okay, I'll pray for you.
- Bravo, pray, so you don't sweat.
Oh! Look over there.
Then they exist.
- Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord
is with you. - Sorry, who are you?
- Aah!
- Do something, it's giving birth!
- How is it possible that when I arrive, they
give birth? - You had to be an obstetrician.
- Come on!
- Come on, Your Majesty.
I'll take care of your son!
Her Majesty,
the crib is a serious matter.
Sorry if I touch it.
But it should move further,
otherwise it decentralizes the hut.
- The donkey has to stay here?
- Will warm the baby.
- It's roasting!
- You do the saint, I make the cribs.
Perfect, we're almost there.
Except, you have to do me a courtesy.
- Everything is there, only the ox is missing. - Where
can I find it? - Where you want, but find it.
- I find it, but then she does the miracle,
with the good or the bad. - Yes, go.
Here, stay like that.
Show your hand. Have it, show it.
The tummy. We move the stick,
so it looks good. Perfect.
We wait for the ox,
the comet and we can give birth.
- Worried? - A bit'.
- I understood why you're hypnotizing me.
- You walk back and forth.
- Hopefully he's a quiet kid. - Yup.
He will be a peaceful child. Things get
complicated after the age of thirty.
It does the things everyone does.
Multiply the loaves,
walk on the water, raise the dead.
- The dead? - They made us four gospels and a
lot of movies. I don't believe it, though...
Can I speak to you sincerely? I admire you. You,
even though you know you are not the father...
- How? - Yes, everyone knows!
I would not have accepted a son of
mine, imagine one who is not mine!
Merry Christmas!
I don't want to insist, it's not like me.
But the boy must be called Jesus.
- My father-in-law is called Methuselah.
- Don't give him my father's name. - Because?
He is right, with all respect. It must
be Jesus, it has always been this way.
- What do you say, "here is Methuselah's
body"? - It doesn't sound good.
With all due respect, Jesus must be called.
You tell her, St. Joseph.
- Giuseppe? My name is Giovanni. - No, he
will have misunderstood when he was born.
- It must be called Giuseppe. - Do you
want to know better what we call it?
- Susanna, who is this Giuseppe?
- I do not know.
Giovanni, Susanna.
Do we have to reprint the santini?
The three kings have arrived.
Gentlemen, unfortunately we were wrong.
They seemed to them.
The beard, the stick, the hut.
But in fact, the comet was missing.
- The comet matters.
- It's important. - He stole my ox.
No, I didn't steal it!
I took it for the crib.
Christmas ends and everything passes.
- Then he asked me. Cut off his hand.
- There's no need.
We are not thieves, we are foreigners.
We come from far away.
- How far? - Very far.
- Follow us. - No! Christmas with
his, New Year with whoever you want.
- No! - Here we go.
There is no need to do this.
- Walk!
- Susanna, who is Giuseppe?
- I do not know.
Look at that set of teeth!
Look at how they are made.
They have strong arms!
- Kneel before the great Herod.
- Herod?
What are you doing? Get up.
Foreigners are welcome here.
In fact, I would be honored if you
accepted my invitation for dinner tonight.
We would love to.
But we are very dirty.
Another time we go
to eat all together.
You don't have to worry,
you will have plenty of time to prepare.
We have so many things to say, don't we?
Scratch, scratch, scratch.
To the right.
Scratch, scratch. Aah!
- They talk so much about slavery, but
it's a wonderful thing. - What do you say?
- Herod is a delightful person.
- Because you don't know the story.
He had brother-in-law, wife and two
children killed to keep the throne.
- He had all the relatives killed.
- We are not relatives. What do I care!
Enjoy your life!
Why are you an enemy of contentment?
Is Herod Bad? It's a bale!
Do you have a little
duck to pass the time?
How beautiful is Year Zero!
It was me, him,
Magellan and Marco Polo.
I said: "Marco,
the future is China".
- The China. - China, Herod!
China, trust me.
Don't underestimate them too!
- They open a kingdom next door and
make you close. The China. - The China.
- Herod, the cloth merchant has arrived.
- Now let's not talk about fabrics.
I am here for the pleasure of meeting
you and renewing our friendship.
Isaiah, Isaiah!
If you were a friend,
you would also make friend prices.
No?
Ah! Are you stupid?
Have a laugh!
Sir, I took the liberty of bringing
a treat from my land as a gift.
It is a sign of my gratitude.
The cannoli.
- So you're from Syracuse.
- Yes, you know? - Sure.
I have my aunt Stefania in Syracuse.
She is married to Uncle Angelino who has
a fruit and vegetable shop in Ortigia.
You take Corso Gelone...
- Okay, what do I explain? - Appears, if you
come to Sicily, you have to look for me.
- You are my guests, all paid. - Compare,
when are you leaving? - Day after tomorrow.
- Appears, if I wanted to come with you?
- Appears, whenever you want.
I propose a toast to my two kind
guests who come from far away.
What a wonderful person!
There were some from us!
A toast to my friend Isaiah too...
..and its fabulous cylinders.
Cylinders that?
They are called so because
they have the cylinder shape.
- What does that have to do with anything? - What do
you say? - I miss you put chocolate and candied fruit.
- This doesn't look like cannoli. - It's
called that because it is shaped like a cane.
You are still at Year Zero.
Cannoli.
Nice, cannoli.
I like it. Cannoli.
It has arrived! You don't have to
like them, they are called "cannoli".
Here we eat many,
especially in this period. It is a custom.
What other customs do you have?
- Twenty four. - Eve.
Eighty-one is out?
No.
- Seventy two. - The wheel.
- Eighty-one is out? - No.
I guess. What number is it?
- Twelve. - Yes, oh well!
- What guess are you? Fifty one.
- The wolf.
- Eighty-one is out? No.
- But the dealer made five.
- No! - It happens.
- Thirty three.
- The years of Christ. - Who?
Oh well.
Oh! Eighty one!
Is eighty-two out?
I'll take it because you...
- Here. - Twenty.
- Il Bambinello.
Speaking of baby...
What do you know about the birth
of this future King of Kings?
Eh? No, no. I ask you,
because I would like to worship him too.
- I would like to worship the king of the
Jews. - I miss you believe it. - You hurt.
We must always believe in kings
and bow to their magnificence.
Forty seven.
Then?
- It's not cool what you're doing.
- I know.
I hosted you in my house,
I fed you, I gave you drinks.
I thought we were friends and for
me friends are like relatives.
No, Herod. Friends are one thing
and relatives are one thing.
Ouch, ouch!
Eighty two.
Who of you two will tell me where this
child is is going to have his life saved.
- You know it? - I swear, I don't
know which kid we're talking about.
You know it?
- No thanks.
- Now we'll see if you talk.
Too bad,
still a number and I was bingo.
We do not talk. - If not, they kill Jesus.
- What do I care about Jesus!
If we don't talk, they won't kill us.
We serve them alive. Shut up, please!
Shut up!
Are they at least sterilized?
So I get some disease!
I'm allergic to torture! Wait up.
Get to know each other, make friends.
Do me what you want, I will never speak.
Dying as a martyr is an honor for me.
Who knows if your
friend thinks like you.
Ouch!
You hurt me!
I said you hurt me!
Are you stupid? You hurt me!
Ouch!
- Enough, don't go mad with him.
So where's the baby?
- The comet. You hurt!
- A bright comet will arrive.
Follow her and she will take you to him.
- Well. - Ouch!
Ouch!
You are cowards. Bastards!
- Cursed crap!
- They are alive. Carrion.
I said you're carrion!
- Traitors! Cowards!
- When we go out...
- When we go out, you are dead.
- You're dead! Shut up!
Are you really going out?
You are dead. You are all dead!
The pit is ready. Close.
Ouch! They are boastful.
They threaten, but we serve them alive.
If we don't talk, they won't kill us.
They gave me two lashes, then they realized
that I'm a tough guy and they stopped.
We did well not to speak.
The plan is perfect.
I say. We did well not to
speak, so they don't kill us.
- I said everything.
- How did you say everything?
I told you not to speak!
You don't have to trust anyone.
Why did you do that?
They would have killed you and
you have nothing to do with it.
I wanted to save a friend
and I didn't succeed.
We are not friends.
Stella, starlet...
Where are you?
Wake Up! Today is a beautiful day to die.
Let the party begin!
Open the door. Hey, wake up!
- Then? Who wants to die first?
- Start with me. - Get up.
Wait, come on. We are friends.
What a beautiful thing, we are all moved.
Here we go.
- You are generous. - Ouch!
- Now everything passes.
- It is the right end that traitors do.
- Sorry, Rebecca.
Good death!
I'll handle that.
Come on, my friend.
I'll handle that. Stay behind me.
I'll take care of it, my friend.
- Street!
- Here we go! - Escape!
Salvo! Wake Up!
- The Tiger. - There is not.
- How is it not? - The tiger is gone.
- It is not possible.
- There is no more. - It's a miracle!
The Lord has performed the miracle!
Lord, for the first time I asked for
your help and you listened to me!
- What do you say?
- Praise be to you, my Lord.
- You got me out of the pit of death and
the mud of the swamp. - What do you say?
- Your light saved me! - It was the laser
light. - You have become an unbeliever.
How is it possible? I will knock on every
door and announce the voice of the Lord!
- Those are Jehovah's Witnesses.
We must save Jesus! - Then let's pray.
- Indeed, let's sing. Those who
sing pray twice. - Laudato be...
- We must save Jesus!
- Let's say the rosary. - Just pray. Here.
Leave me!
Street!
- Let's get those horses. - We can't,
they're not ours. - What do you say?
Manco we can wish you. We sin in
thoughts, words, works and omissions.
- Do you want to know more about me?
- Listen... - We will never reach Herod.
- It has a huge advantage. - We know
that the star will arrive in Bethlehem.
- Herod does not know. - Because?
- I didn't tell you. - You lied!
Sir, he bore false testimony.
Forgive him. Wait up!
Oh! Look over there.
Sorry, forgive me.
- We came in because my wife was about
to give birth. - We are not the owners.
- So who are you?
- We are two wayfarers.
- Are you just born? - Yup.
- Can we see it? So, out of curiosity.
- Yes sure.
Come on.
Are you Giuseppe and Maria?
- How do you know our names?
- Forget it, it's a long story.
I have seen it without a beard and
without the round-headed stick.
- I couldn't recognize it. - Is a
child born like this, without a beard?
The ox and the donkey are also missing.
It's beautiful!
Come on, I'll take care of it.
The comet star has been in the
same direction for a long time.
- In front of us there is only Bethlehem.
- Then to Bethlehem!
When people ask you things, answer,
otherwise it seems that you don't exist.
- Can we postpone this theological
controversy? - Yes, it's better.
Thanks.
Thanks to you and to you too. Good luck.
- Say hello to Egypt.
Oh!
We would like to ask you for a courtesy.
Since we come from far away...
- From far away.
- We would love to go home.
He is still small,
he cannot perform the miracle.
- Can you do it?
- Why do you ask me? You have to ask God.
You are down here.
Do I need to get to him up there?
Then we prayed. - Yes. - But God
doesn't listen to us, we're still here.
Maybe because men
do real miracles.
Thanks for everything and goodbye.
Too bad,
I was hoping for this miracle.
- Come on, Herod is coming!
- Yup.
This is yours.
Merry Christmas.
- Stop, bastards!
- Cursed! - Calm down.
The story is much more
complicated than you think.
I understand that you are disappointed.
But the truth is that we
are not revolutionaries.
- We are not from this world, we are not
Palestinians. - In fact, you are traitors!
I trusted you.
Herod! Come, let's hide here.
They went away.
Let's go to Bethlehem.
- Why didn't I think of that? - At what?
- Herod does not find Jesus and has all the
babies of Bethlehem killed. - It's foolish.
How will we know
which baby is right?
- We kill them all. - I said so.
How did you know?
- It's a long story. Let's not waste time.
- Let's go to Bethlehem to warn everyone.
- We are two on a horse.
- They would come before us.
- It would take a miracle.
- Oh! What are you doing?
- Now we take your horse.
- You take ours when Herod is gone.
- Where are you going?
To do the miracle.
Joseph, we have to escape to Egypt.
Herod wants to kill our son.
- Before I die I have to say,
your rhymes make shit. - Go!
Street!
Come on, it's over for them now.
- God, I regret my sins. Too bad I
offended you who... - Accelerate!
- Cowards! - Plan!
Scoundrels!
- Here you are finally. Carrion!
- Again?
We are the good guys. The good guys!
- Coupons! We also have the Bambinello.
- Then Herod is chasing us.
- I'll skin you alive.
- You must have had a difficult childhood.
- You are inappropriate and uneducated.
- Herod is coming! Hezekiah!
Men on horseback arrive!
Brothers,
fate is still on our side!
Attack!
Cursed.
Here we go.
- No! - Aah!
No!
See you soon, tidbit.
Ah!
- You go to the next church and confess.
- I did nothing!
Arretriamo!
My king, the enemies run away.
What are we doing? Are we chasing them?
No, let's go back.
The babies of Bethlehem are waiting for us.
Mom, aren't we waiting
for Salvo and Valentino?
Look,
Salvo and Valentino are back!
Are back!
Are back!
Come here. Here you are! - You were
expecting us, huh? How beautiful it is!
- Can you give me a little?
- Okay, keep it a little.
Calogero!
How beautiful is Calogero!
- It got bigger. - If you knew
how much I prayed to God for you.
It's okay to pray to God, but every now
and then it wouldn't be bad to help him.
- Calogero!
- Valentino, you are finally here.
- Elia! - It seems true.
Hello.
- You didn't want to go home?
- Yup.
But I don't have anyone at home.
Here maybe I have a family.
- Best wishes. - Thanks.
Little sister, I don't want to disturb
you, but we have to leave.
Marching!
I ask for the last time.
Where they went?
I do not know.
- My lord, your humble servant...
- Go to the point, I hate flatterers.
- I would know how to make him talk.
- Just do it.
- What a bad thing you did!
- I betray adults, not children.
Now let's get you talking.
Sir, this man has
something to tell you.
- Prepare the horses. - Traitor!
No!
I don't want to insist,
but you turn dressed like santini.
- Let's not start again. - It wasn't that absurd.
- It was me, Valentino and the baby boy.
- We entered a reed bed and from
2019 we found ourselves here. - Yet?
- You believe it? - It's the truth!
- Now run. - I'm not a donkey.
Here we go!
We saw it badly.
The tiger has arrived. I grabbed
her by the tail and spun her around.
I slammed her on the ground and said, "Stop
there, otherwise I'll give you the rest."
Valentino was crying. I put it on the
horse and said, "Shut up or slap you."
Look over there!
Herod's men!
- Here we go! - Let's run away!
- Here we go! Come!
Come!
May the power given to me by God fall
upon these waters and open them...
.. pointing the way to
salvation to my people.
My God, let me hear your voice!
Compare!
Compare!
Compare! - Compare!
Come on, get on!
Compare! Compare!
- It's a pleasure to see you.
- Do you know that the idea of calling them
cannoli is pleasing? - Then let's talk about it.
- Go! - Power!
Stay away. - Down!
- Now. - Pull!
Yup!
Why doesn't anyone love me?
- Yes, we are here!
- We are here!
- I'll explain later. We are here!
- Where are you going?
You don't have permission to pass.
Like? Which permit?
- We come from far away.
- From far away.
I know. We would pass you by, but they
say they don't know where to put you.
I know where to put them!
Father, with all due respect.
It is beautiful,
but such a crib has never been seen.
St. Joseph without a beard,
the ox and the donkey are missing.
- Oh well, but it was so.
- Because? Was she there?