Once Is Enough (2016) - full transcript

(crickets chirping)

(slow country music)

- My mom had everything.

She had a huge network of friends.

She had an incredible family.

But the one thing she
didn't have was her health.

You guys, this is gonna come as a surprise

but I have not always been this athletic

and sexually appealing.

(audience laughing)

Yeah, its kind of a new
thing for me (laughing)



I grew up in a super
rural area of Missouri

on a pig farm.

(upbeat country music)

In elementary school, I was the epitome

of the chubby, funny best friend.

I made everyone laugh so hard
that they didn't have time

to make fun of how chubby I was.

(laughing)

That was my game plan and it worked.

(laughing)

I was chubby as a kid and
I've tried a gazillion diets.

At one point I decided
I would have vegetables

with every meal but eventually I got tired

of eating french fries three times a day.



(audience laughing)

So I joined a gym and you guys,

it went really, really well.

After the first two weeks,
I went to the locker room,

I stepped on the scale and you guys,

I had lost 17 pounds.

- Woo!

- Thank you.

(audience claps)
Thank you, yeah.

So I decided to celebrate so
I stepped off of the scale,

I put the out-of-order sign back on it.

(audience laughing)

And I went to the Dairy Queen.

- Jeffrey was not athletic as a kid.

I can remember one specific
incident about Jeffrey

that he played on a basketball team

at our small elementary school

and he really was putting out no effort

to run up and down the court.

So the coaches had told him that they were

taking him out of the
game until he was ready

to put out some effort
and he said, "Okay".

And he never went back in the game.

- I tried wearing a bro,
which is a bra for men.

But I had to stop wearing
that because it was obvious

I was wearing a bro.

I mean, people could see the
indentation in my back fat.

(audience laughing)

They could see the straps
anytime I wore a tube top.

(audience laughing)

And it was a dead giveaway
anytime I pulled cash out of it.

(audience laughing)

- Always hilarious.

Great at musical theater.

Not athletic at all.

He wasn't really an outdoor
kid from what I could grasp.

He tried a few crash diets
in college, I can remember.

He did Atkins once which
his version of Atkins

included going to McDonald's and ordering

two double cheeseburgers sans the bread.

And that didn't go, actually
I think he did lose weight

but it didn't last for very long.

- And nobody ever said,
"Hey, you might wanna

"put those Ho-Hos down."

Like it wasn't a thing.

"You're hungry?"

"Yeah, eat something.

"You're not hungry?

"Should you eat?"

Probably.

I read somewhere that eating spicy food

speeds up your metabolism so
I learned to like jalapenos.

So I watched an instructional video

on how to properly chop up jalapenos.

And it went really well and
then I went to the bathroom.

(audience laughing)

And that did not go as well.

(audience laughing)

It took about 30 seconds
and y'all my man business

was on fire (laughing).

So I threw it in the sink, I
started splashing water on it.

That didn't work.

So I called poison control
and they hung up on me.

(audience laughing)

So I called my mom and I
said, "Mom, there's a problem

"with my naughty place."

And she hung up on me.

(audience laughing)

So I called my dad and I
said, "Dad, I've gotten

"jalapeno juice all over Buford."

(audience laughing)

And he said, "Well hell Jeff,
you gotta put it in milk."

(audience laughing)

I didn't know.

So I went to the fridge, I
grabbed a carton of milk,

I took it to the bathroom, and you guys,

it totally, totally works.

But then, get this you guys, my roommate

has accused me of being, of
all things, inconsiderate.

- No.

- So I did the right
thing, I funneled the milk

back into the jug, put
it back into the fridge.

(audience laughing)

Inconsiderate.

- I would say that in
all of my descriptions of

Jefferey Binney, I would
never, ever have used

the term athletic before
maybe a year and a half ago.

He was a lot of things but
he was never an athlete.

He, I can remember being
in marching band with him

and him running all over the
place to do marching band stuff

but not necessarily running
in a way that would inspire

other people to think that he was

actually running somewhere, so.

He, yeah, he's come a long way.

- You guys, I grew up on
a pig farm in Missouri.

(crowd cheers) I know, right?

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
(crowd cheers)

There came a point when I had to sit

my father down and have a really, really

uncomfortable conversation with him.

I sat him down and I said,
"Dad, I'm sure this isn't going

"to come as a surprise to you.

"As a kid, I was very sensitive.

"I was very, very involved in the theater

"and I never really dated
girls but I am vegan."

(audience laughing)

And he said, "Well hell, Jeff.

"I thought you were gonna
tell me you were a gay."

And I said, "Oh girl, please."

(audience laughing)

My dad, she is totes ridic.

You guys, substantially less funny.

When I was 11, my mom was
diagnosed with heart failure.

And they gave her, you know, maybe two,

three, threeish years.

She pulled out 17 more years.

- Woo!

- Yeah, right? (audience claps)

Absolutely.

But I think because she
knew her time was limited,

she made the most of it.

And she was super caring,
super giving, super generous,

very philanthropic and a
lot of the stuff she did

we didn't even know happened.

And one of those times was
actually at her funeral.

This woman came up to me and she said,

"Hey, I bet you don't even know this story

"but years ago, in the
middle of the night,

"my family's house burned to the ground.

"I got out.

"My husband got out.

"My kids got out.

"Everything was destroyed
but we all got out.

"But this is while your mom owned

"her children's clothing store.

"And in the middle of the night,

"somehow she found out
that our house was on fire

"and she went to the store and before

"those firetrucks had
even left our driveway,

"she showed up with boxes and
boxes of clothes for my kids."

(audience claps)

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

But she said, "There's more.

"Not only did she bring us
boxes and boxes of clothes,

"but she gave us 20% off."

(audience laughing)

- Woo!

- Like super generous, my mom, right?

Well she was just like the
epitome of the mama bear.

I mean, she would protect me at all costs

if she thought something
unjust was happening to me.

But at the same time, if
I was being a little turd,

I mean there was no patience.

There was no patience for turds.

♪ For she's gone over the hill ♪

♪ For she's gone over the hill ♪

♪ For she's gone over the hill ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

♪ For she's gone over the hill ♪

♪ For she's gone over the hill ♪

♪ For she's gone over the hill ♪

♪ And so we say bye bye ♪

(video squeaking)

But I was spending all this
time in the waiting room,

slowly, slowly kind of like,
kind of going mad (chuckles).

Like losing it a little bit.

I mean, just sitting with nothing to do.

Just desperate to not end
up in the same situation.

To not be saying goodbye to
my family at the age of 58.

And the doctors made no bones about

why she was in this
situation that she was in.

She was overweight by a
lot and she tried so hard,

she tried really hard to change that

but she just couldn't,
she couldn't understand

why asparagus wasn't still healthy

after it had been breaded and fried.

(audience laughing)

So I'm spending all this
time in the waiting room

and I look over one day in a particularly

dark, dark moment in our ICU story

and I see this, a "Trail Runner" magazine.

Apparently this is a magazine
that people buy and pay for.

(audience laughing)

And I start flipping, I
guess I can count them

out as a sponsor, right?

(laughing)

Sorry "Trail Runner" magazine.

So I start going through this magazine

and I mean, its just, you know,

all these like gorgeously, athletic people

just bounding, bounding over mountains

and I get to this hilarious article,

this one right here.

The title's amazing, "Is
the 100 Mile Ultramarathon

"The New Marathon?" (laughs)

You guys, I'm pretty
sure its not (laughs).

But I start reading and it says this,

"So the Leadville 100, one
of the country's oldest

"and most difficult ultramarathons.

"Set in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado,

"runners face some of
the longest and steepest

"climbs in America with
a total elevation gain

"of over 15,000 feet, the equivalent of

"six times the Empire State Building.

"Runners must stave off
blisters, hypothermia,

"hyperthermia,
hyponatremia, hypernatremia,

"hypoglycemia, hyperglycemia, exhaustion

"and runners are in a constant battle

"to eat enough food to prevent

"their body's natural tendency

"to shut down its digestive system

"in order to divert resources

"to more critical body systems."

(laughs)

And I thought what anyone desperate

to lose weight would think.

You guys, I should do this.

(audience laughing)

(upbeat cheerful music)

(heavy breathing)

And then, then I look over and I was like,

"Hmm, who is this tall,
British drink of water?"

(audience laughing)

Ian Sharman, Ian, okay who is this?

Okay, "Ian Sharman is one of the world's

"preeminent ultrarunning
legends, a London native

"who left a financial
career to pursue running."

- I'd always used to play loads of sports

but I just wasn't doing that anymore

so I decide I need to do something

and while I was in that mindset,

I saw a TV documentary about a race

in the Sahara Desert so I became a runner.

And when I first started, I was training

for a desert race but I
included a few marathons

and one ultra in the buildup to that.

And I just found I was
gradually enjoying it more

and then got a little
bit addicted to racing

so I was doing about 30 marathons a year

for about three years.

- "In addition to being
the fastest ultrarunner

"in the country, Ian also
runs a wildly successful

"training business and
trains some of the world's

"fastest, elite ultrarunners."

You guys, "he trains some of the world's

"fastest, elite ultrarunners".

I bet, I bet he wants to train me.

(audience laughing)

(laughs)

So you guys, I called up Ian Sharman

and I said, "Look dude, here's the deal.

"I'm a 6'2", 340 pound lumberjack

"and I'm gonna run the Leadville 100.

"Don't you want to train me?"

And he said, "Uh, maybe."

You guys, I went to acting school

and so I'm really good with dialects.

They're kind of my thing.

I also have a really good Australian.

It's kind of like, uh, maybe.

I don't know, someone
else call out a dialect.

Anything, like somewhere, a country.

- German.
- German, um, uh, maybe.

(audience laughing)

Yeah.

- What's kinda, you know
we have like six weeks,

seven weeks, what's the kind
of bigger picture game plan,

when, what really big weekends
do you want me to get in

and when will we kind of
start to lay off and taper?

Will we?

- Well you got seven and a half weeks

so it's a little bit longer
than you thought there.

(laughing)

So the idea being that we'll
have at least one big weekend

of back-to-back runs.

We're gonna have plenty of long runs,

still most weekend will be longer runs

especially to just
explore your new location

because you're gonna
have maybe five weekends

where you can just try out new places,

new trail areas, ideally
doing a couple of races

around the 50K distance would be great

because that's a good distance
that you can recover from

fairly quickly and that
you're just getting

to have enough time on your feet

but with aid stations
and all the logistics

taken care of for you.

- I told my family.

They thought I was ridiculous.

I told my friends.

They were certain I was mad.

But there was one friend
who is a triathlete,

super fit like this is totally his thing.

And I called him up and I told him

what I was planning to do.

And he said, "Look Jeffrey.

"I don't want to be unsupportive,

"but when you go to the horse races

"there's a reason why you
don't see any Clydesdales."

(audience laughing)

The best way to get me to do something

is to tell me I can't do it.

My mom used to use it all the time.

She'd be like, "I bet you
can't do that laundry."

I'd be like, "I bet I can."

(audience laughing)

"Bet you can't rub lotion on my feet."

"Oh yes I can.

"You just watch me."

(audience laughing)

Y'all, if you have to do hill repeats,

I think this is the place to do 'em.

What?

When I was a little kid, I
was really, really confused

as to where babies came from.

My family used to tell me this story

about how out of all of our baby pigs

there was one baby piglet that they liked

more than all the others.

They liked him so much that they had him

turned into a little boy.

And that's where I came from.

(audience laughing)

No, I know but you guys
now I'm a 33 year old man

and I am very well aware
of where babies come from,

your mom's butt.

(audience laughing)

- Yeah.

- But when I was a little kid you guys,

I totally believed it because I thought

that's where I got my tiny,
pink, spiral-shaped penis.

(audience laughing)

- Wow.

- I always wished my parents
had been donkey farmers.

(audience laughing)

- When my mom passed away,
I think it was probably

the hardest on Jeff because
they were extremely close.

- Jeffrey is not a person who wears

his emotions on his sleeve.

He internalizes a lot and
then when Deb passed away,

Jeffrey sort of disappeared.

Jeffrey went off the grid
a lot and he went running

and he was in the woods
or he would go camping.

- I think the running
was a therapy for Jeff

after my mom passed away.

We all have something that we turn to

when things are that
bad and I think running

was just a way to distract his mind and,

not only for a distraction,
I mean we'd watched

our mom die, lay there
day after day suffering,

and it was all obesity
heart disease related

and I think he turned it
into something positive.

- So I started training for this.

Of course, it was easier in the beginning

and then it got worse.

My typical week looked like this.

On a Tuesday, I would
do a medium-length run,

somewhere between eight and 18 miles

with some speed work in the middle.

Wednesday, a really low-key
recovery day, just five miles.

On Thursday, another medium-length run

with speed work in the middle.

No running on Friday.

Saturday, long run,
usually marathon distance.

Sunday, another long run,
usually another marathon.

At the end I was averaging
just above 70 miles per week.

(upbeat intense music)

I guess a lot of things can go wrong.

(laughing)

A lot of things can go
wrong when you're trying

to run that far.

For me, my toenails are a big issue.

When your toenails hit
against the end of your shoe

2,337 times, they slowly
die and then they fall off.

I have a lot of problems eating enough.

If you run out of enough
energy, which you guys,

up until this point, I had no idea

what it felt like to truly be hungry.

(laughing)

I had never once let myself get
to the point of true hunger.

- There's a lot of
things that can go wrong

in a 100 miler, no matter how fit you are.

Just starting out, I mean altitude

is probably the biggest factor here.

So he could get altitude sickness

or it could just slow him down so much

that he doesn't manage
to reach the cut-offs.

He could easily pick up an injury,

you just twist an ankle,
fall over, pull a muscle.

Anything like that which
then makes it very difficult

to keep moving at a good pace.

He could have trouble with his stomach,

which is particularly
bad when it's at altitude

and especially if it's a hot day.

And if he's vomiting all over the place,

it's gonna be really
difficult to keep moving.

But you can usually
pull it back from there.

Not always, but you can usually
find a way to get through.

He could just wear himself
out, go too fast early on,

push too hard on either the
uphills or the downhills

and trash his legs.

And that, again, is probably
the number two thing

after altitude that would slow people down

and cause them to drop here is if they run

the downhills too hard and
then their legs are toast

and then even the easy
stuff, they can't run

and they get timed out.

There's probably a number of other things

that could go wrong,
medial issues potentially,

getting hit by a car.

You know, there's a lot of
things that can happen out there.

He could get attacked by a bear.

Depends on how extreme you want to go

but it is out in the mountains

and mountain weather can be very bad.

And actually that's one
other thing, lightning.

If there's storms, that can force people

to have either stop and then waste time

because they're waiting
for the storm to go

or they go through it and
then they either get very cold

or wet or something else
that happens like that

and they end up going to hospital.

So this is not an easy race.

And it's really extreme
conditions out there.

- Well at the finish line of the 50

when I was crewing in San Francisco,

when Jeff crossed the finish line,

I didn't immediately know
that anything was wrong.

He seemed fine.

He got his medal.

We started to go get something to drink

and then I realized that
he was either delirious

or something else was seriously wrong.

He needed food and I tried to give him

some broccoli with
hummus and he was unable

to get that to his mouth.

I had to find him a chair and lay him back

and I was feeding him as he laid there

like a bird with his mouth open.

- The scary truth is that people have died

while ultrarunning and
that's terrifying for me

and for Jeffrey's sister
and you know for Kevin

and for anyone involved with the race, so.

- If it comes to the
point that we think Jeff

is in a situation where
maybe it's going to cause him

some kind of physical
damage, or it's no longer

healthy for him to continue on,

you know, we'll have to come together

and look at all the factors
and maybe even seek some advice

from the professionals
that they have there

and make a decision then.

- I think the thing
that excites me the most

about being on the crew
is that Jeffrey's been

working on this for awhile.

I knew I was gonna be
on his crew for awhile

and he's been working so hard

and when he finishes
this 30-hour, 100-mile,

crosses the finish line,
I'm gonna be so excited

'cause I can go to bed.

- I can't say that I totally
understand ultrarunning.

I can't say that I understand why Jeffery

would want to do something
so extreme to his body

or something that scares
his family and friends.

But I can definitely understand

the wanting to make a change in your life.

(upbeat country music)

(laughing)

(upbeat country music)

- 1988 when I came to Colorado,

I had never seen an ultra
of any type or distance.

But I had read about it in a magazine

about guys running a hundred miles

and I had to see it.

So I came to Leadville
to see the race in 1988.

Didn't know one runner.

Didn't know one mile of the
course but I came anyway

and I slept in my car right
near the starting line

for the first race and I've
seen every one since 1988.

- I chose the Leadville 100 because

it is one of the most
beautiful 100 milers.

We're gonna be running
through the Rocky Mountains.

I also love the energy of the town.

It has such a cool story and history

and I've always been
fascinated with the run.

And also, they take anybody (laughing).

I didn't have to have a qualifying time.

So that was important too.

I have 30 hours.

There's a 30 hour cutoff.

So if I'm not done in 30
hours, I don't finish.

I didn't finish.

I didn't officially finish.

Like I don't count.

It didn't happen

It's not only that I have to be

at the finish line in 30 hours,

I also have to be at each
of the eight stations

by their cutoff times.

So if at any point, I fall
behind the cutoff time,

I get pulled from the race.

No naps, no sleeping.

I gotta run.

So, I mean that's it.

There's six major climbs.

(marker scratching on board)

This one's probably gonna be,

well both of these, are probably gonna be

real total mind-fucks
because this really seems

like the big, you know, kinda like,

"Oh cool, I'm over halfway done

"and I'm done with the biggest climb."

But actually I have two
more pretty rough ones.

So I mean really, when I
get to each aid station,

this will be the most, I mean basically

when I get into each aid station,

I will have just done
a really terrible climb

except for the first one and this one,

I will have had a ways before.

(marker scratching on board)

- Can you put a
heart around all that?

(laughing)

Just, (laughing)

- Now draw a penis
where you are afraid.

(Annie laughing drowns out Kevin speaking)

Okay.

- Oh, wow.

(laughing)

- Yep, keep going.

I'm catching it all.

- I don't think
this is going in the film.

(laughing)

(slow serious music)

(slapping)

(slapping)

(slow serious music)

- This morning, Leroy
was asleep on my feet.

When he heard me wake up, he like slowly

inched under the covers up to me

and just like laid down next to me

and gave me this look like, "Don't do it."

(laughing)

"Don't go, what are you doing."

I'm like, "I don't know buddy.

"I don't know."

(door squeaks)

- Good morning.

- Oh morning.

Are you ready for this?

- I'm ready, are you?

- I don't know.

Do I have a choice?

- No, it's too late now.

- I don't know if I'm the mood

to run 100 miles today?

We can do it next week.

- I'll run part of it for you.

- Okay.

- Everyone ready.

We ride.

Let's go.

And at 5 a.m., in the dark, I stood

at the starting line of
one of the most difficult

and most storied
ultramarathons in the world,

surrounded by 800 people who are

substantially more fit than I.

- Nine, eight, seven, six

five, four, three, two, one.

(starting gun fires)

(crowd cheers and whistles)

- And we started the race
and it went all right.

(upbeat intense music)

I made it to mile 17 I guess

and I had a problem.

I almost missed the cutoff
at the last aid station

because I was about to crap my pants.

And I waddled two miles to the aid station

with my cheeks clenched like a vice

trying to convince myself that I could run

another 70 miles without pooping.

And I finally gave in and
pooped in a porta-potty

for the first time ever.

And it was devastating.

I got poop on my hands twice.

The smell was awful.

I'm never ultrarunning again.

Waa!

(radio crackling)

You guys I'm really weird about pooping.

(audience laughing)

I don't think I'm weird about pooping

but other people think
I'm weird about pooping.

For instance, I only
poop in my own toilet.

That's not that weird.

But I also, I won't poop unless I can

immediately afterward, take a shower.

(audience laughing) Yeah.

Oh cool, you think that's weird.

You know what I think is weird?

Grabbing a wad of the
thinnest paper known to man

and smearing it up your
butt, pulling up your pants

and saying, "Yeah, I'm good."

(audience laughing)

Savages.

(audience laughing)

But I think I know why
I ended up this way.

When I was a little kid, I
refused to wipe my own butt

and I would make my mom do it

and I remember very vividly
sitting on the toilet.

I remember exactly how I would say it.

I would scream, "Mom, come wipe my butt."

(audience laughing)

And she would, every time.

It went on way too long but
eventually she had to stop

because it was a four-hour
drive to my college,

so I couldn't ask her to
do that three times a day.

(audience laughing)

Tragically, that is half true (laughs).

You guys, where to go to the bathroom

is one of the biggest concerns

when you're running an ultramarathon.

A number one, not that big of a deal.

You just, especially for
men, just pop off the trail,

take care of your
business and keep running.

For women, a number one
is a little more involved.

About mile 17 of the Leadville 100

I met this girl who was running beside me,

we were about keeping
up about the same pace.

So we were chatting.

Turns out she's from St.
Louis so we had tons of stuff

in common but all of the sudden, she stops

and she pulls down her pants
in the middle of the trail

and squats down and starts peeing

and she says, "I am so
sorry, please, please,

"go on without me, I'll
catch up with you."

And you guys, I am a nice,
nice farm boy from Missouri

so I did the polite thing and I said,

"That's okay, I'll wait."

(audience laughing)

- Woo!

- You guys, I had never seen that.

I mean I hadn't seen that
but I also hadn't seen that.

(audience laughing)

My mom totally lied to me
because that looked nothing

like a freshly-baked peach cobbler.

(audience laughing)

- We've got a gingerbread
man coming up the road.

He's still a ways out though

so you can relax.

- A gingerbread man.

Oh it's too loud.

Woo, Jeffrey!

- Oh yeah, he
totally was looking.

- Good job.

- I don't know if he's
looking at the cow bells

or your loud mouth (laughs)

- Woo!

Wait, I was looking at that guy.

(man laughs)

- Where?

- I thought it was him.

Oh he's there.
- He's right there.

- Oh.

(serious music)

Yeah!

(cow bells ringing)

- I should of
made up time and I didn't.

- It's all right.

You're still doing good.

- Good job man, that was good.

(slow quirky music)

- Yeah!

Woo! (cow bells ringing)

- How are you guys?

(laughing)

- We're great.

Bye, love you.

- Get it.

- Woo hoo!

(clapping)

(upbeat quirky music)

(slow serious music)

- You can do it!

- I'm really close to missing the cutoff.

- It's okay.

- Hey buddy, keep working.

Keep pushing.

- You got this. (clapping)

- It's been about 20 minutes on checkpoint

every one, so.

- Yeah, and its a lot of downhill, so.

Ah, come on Jeff!

(upbeat cheerful music)

(heavy breathing)

(upbeat cheerful music)

(clapping)

(clapping)

- Woo hoo!

(clapping)

- You're good.

- Yeah.

- You want some soup?

Potatoes?

- I think I'm good.

Thanks though.

- How's your phone?

(Jeffrey mumbles)

- Yeah.

- It was awful.

- Okay, where do you want taped?

- Not pooping, just
the ball of my right foot.

- Jeffrey, do I need to
push the button on this thing?

- Yeah, right
button right there.

You're good, you're good.

- Okay, all
right, you're charging.

(upbeat cheerful music)

- Bill Dooper was
talking up a storm about you.

- You're good, want some more?

- John, how are you?

- Doing good, Jeff.

- What are you here for?

- To watch the race?

- I mean in Colorado.

(man mumbles)

- Just came here for me?

- You're worried about time.

Probably not a good time for the weight.

- Take it off.

- No, no I think I should rolling

if I have time I'll...

- You can't go down this way.

You gotta go up. - To the right.

- Okay, bye guys.

(clapping)

- All right, don't worry about us.

Worry about your time.

Don't think about pooping.

- What?

- Don't worry.

- The hardest part of
the trail is Hope Pass.

You go over and down and
then you go a few miles,

turn around and do it again.

If you're successful on that part,

there's a pretty good chance
you're gonna be successful

in the race but that's the
toughest part of the course.

- It's already brutal.

Like brutal.

It's the most miserable feeling.

It's like you literally can't breathe.

I mean, you can try.

But it's like you can't
get air no matter how,

not matter how... ugh!

I knew that it was close.

I knew that I was really,
really, really close

to missing the cutoff.

(cheering)

- Do you know if it was a
medical or 'cause of timeout

- I don't mean to be, these
were mostly were timing

because they got past there at 4;15.

And they were turned back.

- Okay, there's no other way

to tell, find that out
other than just going?

- None that I know of
or that I'm aware of.

I mean, the only way to
transport somebody out

the top of Hope is by helicopter.

So, yeah, there'd be a
flurry of activity (laughs)

if that was happening.

- Sorry, his
sister's freaking out.

We just said we'd ask (laugh).

Yeah, my suspicion is

they just turned back
and he's walking back.

- Okay.

(clock ticking) (wind blowing)

(wind blowing)

- I just talked to the guy on the radio

he confirmed Jeffery was, in
fact, sent back at Hope Pass.

His time was 4:15.

It was after 4:15, the cutoff was 4:15.

So they sent him back to Twin Lakes.

Sucks.

Feel bad.

He had a lot going right, you know,

a lot working against him.

- I just feel so bad.

I'm being so emotional.

I just feel like
everything he's worked for.

He's gonna be so bummed
and he tried so hard

and he trained so hard.

- I know.

He's still gonna be proud.

- I know.

He just needs to be proud.

I just don't want him to be really upset

and I just want him to be okay.

Which they said he was
because there would be a

helicopter to a mountain if

anything was terrible, so.

(heavy breathing)

- I didn't make it.

(heavy breathing)

I didn't make it.

I missed the Hope Pass
cutoff by 14 minutes

and so I got pulled.

(heavy breathing)

I don't know what to
say to this dumb thing.

- Nice job guys.

- I'm like numb.

I've never been in this much pain.

That was the hardest thing I've ever done.

I don't know, I don't
want to talk to this.

(laughing)

- I was like, "Okay" (laughs).

(engine running)

(somber music)

- Instead I'm sitting here on the sofa,

literally shoving pasta in my mouth.

So that's a decent consolation, isn't it?

(spoon clanking)

I don't know, it's so weird.

It's like it's still sinking it.

It's like a slow burn.

(spoon clanking)

Even when I was climbing
Hope Pass, like you know.

It's not like you get there and it's like,

"Oh, did I make it, did I not make it?

"Oh, I didn't make it, aw."

You know you're not making it.

You can see the minutes going by

and you can see how far you have to go.

(spoon clanking)

And you get there and you're like praying,

"Oh maybe my watch is off.

"Maybe they're just not making people

"follow the rules, today." (laughs)

I don't know, maybe, something.

(spoon clanking)

But no.

I was late.

So.

(spoon clanking)

I'm kinda fine with it.

I mean, I'm not fine with it.

I'm really disappointed
but the harder thing

is everybody else, you know?

I made such a big f-ing deal (laughs)

about running a hundred miles.

(somber music)

Never again.

You know I'm trying to
figure out what thing

I should have done differently

and I can't think of one thing

that I should have done differently

because there are a million things

that I could've done differently.

And I don't know, I
don't know what it was.

I don't know, I mean I just don't know.

And I probably will never know.

(computer beep)

Hi Ian.

- Hi.

How's it going and how are
you feeling after Leadville?

- Oh, I'm fine (laughs)

- We went into it knowing
it was gonna be very tough.

Especially living at sea level

doing an altitude race and
I think that was probably

the largest single factor
that made it difficult.

But you still got a hell of a long way,

longest run you've ever done.

And there was some very
good running in there.

So there's a lot that we
can take away from that.

- Mm-hmm.

- I bet it doesn't feel like that

but you do tend to learn
more from the races

that don't go well than
the ones that go perfectly

and we weren't expecting,
no one ever would,

at a race like a
hundred-miler like Leadville

to just breeze through it and it to be

relatively easy and everything go well.

But I think that realistically,

we've got a lot of positives
that came away from that,

some really good running, some really good

buildup to it as well
and we can definitely

take that on to things in the future.

So I wouldn't be too down-hearted by that.

Just even starting it is a big deal.

And the fact that it didn't go perfectly

the first attempt, that is no negative

or thing that you should
just think you've failed

because really, if you look at the race,

I think less than half
the people finished it.

- You guys, I was in
the depths of despair.

I was so over it.

I finally pulled myself
up by the bootstraps

and said, "You know what? (sighs)

"Let's do this again."

(upbeat cheerful music)

I'm vegan but I'm not an
obnoxious vegan, you guys.

I'm like a cool vegan,
you know I mean like

I eat meat, you know.

(audience laughing)

- He's now vegan which is, if
he hasn't told you, he will.

(vibrant country music)

- You know there's so
much buildup to Leadville

and then I had been
planning and training for it

for over a year, kinda feels like

I've been planning a wedding. (laughs)

- Yep, yep.

- It just didn't happen.

In the end, just everyone got there.

Everyone arrived.

We started the wedding
but it just didn't happen.

And so, I definitely...

- The bride ran off but lucky
you found another bride, so.

- I found another bride.

- Very soon afterwards, yep.

(laughing)

- Yeah, yeah exactly.

(cheerful country music)

- I'm just a chubby ginger on the verge

of heat exhaustion and I need some shade.

(cheerful country music)

Supposed to run 21 miles today.

Quitting at 15.

One of those runs.

(upbeat country music)

I started training again.

Six months later, I am
in Huntsville, Texas

to run the Rocky Raccoon
100-mile ultramarathon.

(cheerful quirky music)

It's the day before the
race and my crew is jazzed.

- I'm jazzed.

She's ready.

She's ready to go.

- I don't know.

The one thing I know from Leadville

is that I don't know what's
gonna happen tomorrow.

I have no idea.

Like, no clue.

Like I'm ready, I've
trained but I don't know.

I mean literally, anything could happen.

(slow pensive music)

Oh, did you want to come in with me?

(cameraman mumbling)

- These feet done been taped.

These feet done went and been taped.

Mm, oh, these Pro Bars are amazing.

I love Pro Bars.

If it wasn't for Pro Bars, I
don't think I'd be able to run

at all, ever.

Mm, mm, Pro Bar, mm, oh.

Okay.

- What's that?

- A little Hair Club for Men.

- Oh, really?

(upbeat quirky music)

I've got party all around but

if you're coming in from a helicopter,

- Watch out.

- The party stops (laughs) pretty quickly.

I think I'm doing this because

while she couldn't change
her life, I can, you know?

I finally pulled it together and I decided

I was going to run another ultramarathon,

another 100-mile ultramarathon.

So I talked to Ian and we finally decided

that the best next option
was the Rocky Raccoon 100.

A 100-mile ultramarathon
just north of Houston, Texas.

I don't know, I guess I'll feel fine.

It's really dark and it's gonna be dark

for the first 45 minutes
so I get a little taste

of what the 13 hours of hell

in the middle of the night
are going be like (laughs).

So I kinda kept this one on the down-low

just because I was, I don't know.

I just, after Leadville, I'd made

such a big fricking
to-do about it, you know.

It was like, just made it that much harder

to tell everyone I failed.

So, nobody knows about this one.

I'm doing this one in secret, sort of.

My close friends know but other than that,

nobody knows that I'm here
doing this this weekend.

I don't have to deal with
the barrage of text messages

asking me how it went and how it felt

to cross the finish line
(laughs), when I didn't.

So, we'll see what happens, I don't know.

I don't know, I don't know.

(slow pensive music)

(crowd chattering)

(slow pensive music)

I'm heading into the end of my second loop

and shit's officially
starting to fall apart

and my body is officially
starting to fall apart.

My feet hurt.

Not that guy.

He's looking good.

(deep breath)

But, on the bright side, I only have,

I only have 65 miles to go.

So, I should probably start running.

- Do you want to try
a little something to eat?

- I'm okay.

- You look great.

Keep your bag?

- Yeah it's okay.

- Can I keep your jacket?

- Yeah.

(slpw inspirational music)

- You want it on now?

(slow inspirational music)

- Okay, this is good.

No it's okay.

- We can be
there, we can be there.

(slow inspirational music)

(crowd chattering)

- We, ugh...

somewhere between 60 and 63.

- And as I was falling in slow motion

I had a decision to make.

Do I break my fall with
my chest and save my food?

Or do I let my food go and
use my hands to break my fall?

Well anyone who knows
my relationship to food

(audience laughing)

knows that I chose to break
my fall with my chest.

It did not hurt that bad at the time.

But it would turn out 36
hours later at urgent care

that I had fractured a rib.

- So he didn't have enough
calories so we left him

at checkpoint at 63 and we have hiked

a mile and a half.
- A mile and a half.

- Through the woods at mock speed.

- After... In Ugg boots.

- Yeah, in Ugg boots after
picking up at a meal at camp.

- And incubating it.

- And incubating it in the AC.

- In her coat.

- In the AC crock pot over here.

It's in here which is pretty great.

I'm feeling like it might be too hot

for him to eat when he gets here.

Here's start/finish.

He came out here.

This is where we saw him
at the nature center,

right here where these stars are.

- Okay.

- Then he has to
come all the way down here,

this, all this orange
trail and this is where

we got on, here.

This is the trail head where we got on.

So then he's gonna come
down exactly where we were,

hit this trail, come all the way out here.

- No, he didn't have time.

- I don't think he woulda.

- So here's over here.

- He's gonna come from
this direction then.

I said at 11:59, "Found my
phone, see you at Damnation."

And it was delivered.

- Okay mine hasn't been delivered yet.

- I don't know, does he do read receipt?

- No.
- Okay, okay.

So now we just wait.

- He has that shut off.

He's sneaky like that.

- That's okay.

- You know what?

- What?

- I'm just gonna take this,
sorry if you're already

there, I'm just gonna take this headlamp.

- Okay, you don't want any
batteries in this then?

Want new batteries?

- We got 'em laid out for ya.

- There we are right here.

- Um, I need to be out of here by 20.

- 20?

You got 4 minutes.

We can do this.

Your breakfast is ready.

- Yeah I need a NoDoz
and can you put a NoDoz

in the top, left front zipper?

- Sorry, do you want me

to wash your face or anything?

- No, it's okay.

- Okay, how are your feet?

You need tape?

- Do you want ibuprofen again?

- Yeah.

- Do you want any
cramp stuff in your bag?

- Yeah and I want one now.

- You want one now?

- I'm pretty sure you
just drank one, didn't you?

(slow mellow music)

- Oh my God guys, what am I doing?

It's really cold.

- Yeah, we know.
- It's very cold.

- It's really, really cold and I'm sweaty.

- You didn't take these?

- No.

- All right, Jeff, breakfast.

- Okay.

- You got 2 minutes 15 to go.

Are you leaving the blue coat on then?

- I gotta put my pack on underneath it.

- Okay, all
right, here we go, grab.

- It's gonna be a big one, one.

- Okay, let's do it.

- Two, three.

(Jeff groans)

(slow pensive music)

- Make sure your phone stays in.

You've got one minute.

(slow pensive music)

- Can't see it
there in the darkness.

(slow pensive music)

Take this.

I got it.

- You got your gloves?

- Yeah, I should.

(Jeff groans)

- Sorry.

- Nope, don't be sorry.

- Okay what about
the lightweight black one?

Are we tucking it in somewhere?

- On my hose.

- Your hose?

- No I don't know if that one.

- Hey, you're looking good.

- Oh yeah.

- He's looking great, isn't he?

- He's looking great,
he's coming back out.

- So proud, he's on his way.

All right.

- Oh there's one in there too.

(slow pensive music)

I don't care, punch it.

(Jeff groans)

Okay

- Do you want me to meet you with

the rest of your breakfast
at the nature center?

- It doesn't matter, i don't care.

- You gotta have these
calories to keep you

enough heat going.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- What time is it for real?

- For real, for real?

- Yeah.
- 22.

- Okay.

- All right, love you.

We'll see you at the next stop.

(laughing)

Bye, we love you.

- Love you more.

- 20 more, you've got this.

- Holy shit!
- So fucking jazzed.

- Okay so he's
been there, so that's good.

- Okay.

Do you want to take that bag up?

Yeah.

(rising music drowns out women speaking)

(women cheering and clapping)

- Come on Jeff, you got it!

Woo!

(slow pensive music)

- Good job.

- Do you?

- Yes.

(laughing)

- You looks like you had just woke up.

Can we help you?

See you in a little bit.

(slow pensive music)

(rising inspirational music)

- She was my safety net,
if anything went wrong,

ugh, she was always there
no matter what happened

I knew like, well sure that sucks

but I'll call my mom.

She'll take care of it.

(slow inspirational music)

Like I just don't have
the words to describe

what it feels like to
have that net pulled out

from under you, (sniffs).

(laughing)

You think I was a mama's boy?

Look at me.

(laughing)

But, I miss her a lot.

(slow inspirational music)

(crowd cheering)

- Oh, no, but he's behind them.

- Come on, Jeff!

- Yeah!

- He's gonna make it. He's gonna make it!

Jeff, let's go!

(rising inspirational music)

(crowd clapping)

(rising inspirational music)

- Time, 29
hours, 50 minutes, 16 seconds.

Previous mile in 20 minutes, 13 seconds.

Distance 100 miles.

Distance 100 miles.

(electronic zoom)

(slow pensive music)

- That was really hard.

- Yeah.

(laughing)

Well yes it was hard.

- Why did I do that?

- We've been
wondering that all night long.

(laughing)

- We wondered why
did we agree to do this?

(laughing)

- When you're running these things,

thy have professional
photographers along the trail.

And at mile 97, I see a photographer.

He's in a bush.

Up until this point,
in every ultramarathon,

I have refused to pose for these photos.

I want people to see me,
I want it to be real.

I want them to see me how
I am an when I'm running.

But at this point, I
decided I just ran 97 miles.

Imma a pose for this.

(audience laughing)

And this it, you guys.

This is me, this is me at mile 97.

(crowd cheers)

Thank you.

(crowd applauds)

I was falling apart, you guys.

You can't see my feet, but my feet,

I had blisters upon blisters which would

have to be lanced at the
urgent care the next day.

Two toenails would fall
off in the following weeks.

My feet, every muscle in my foot was,

foot and ankles, was completely shot.

This, impossible.

It was like I was running on two nubs.

Like completely useless.

My calves, my calves were fine.

My calves are always fine.

They're always good.

(crowd cheers)

I know, like it's not a huge deal.

It's just whatever, you know, it's like

(audience laughing)

You can touch it.

(audience laughing)

You're welcome.

(audience laughing)

This cup, apparently I
thought I knew to hold onto

this styrofoam cup in
case I stumbled across

some food in the woods or something.

(audience laughing)

And it's slightly ironic that I was eating

this vegan, organic, non-GMO food

out of a styrofoam cup (laughs).

The vegans are not gonna
be happy about that.

And my brain, you guys, my
brain was like a disaster.

Your brain can only use
sugar, carbohydrates as energy

and the thing you are lacking most

when you're doing something
like this is sugar.

And your brain, like
you're just not all there.

You can go from crying
to hysterical laughter

(snaps) like that.

So I'm gonna go to the
doctor in a little bit.

See what they have to say about it.

Get some drugs.

But, other than that,
I'm fairly unscathed.

I think.

I mean, I finished so, I'm
on top of the freaking moon.

Over the moon, I'm over the moon,

I'm on top, I don't
know, I'm really happy.

(laughing)

But three miles later, I
crossed the finish line

in 29 hours, 52 minutes and 16 seconds.

Across crossed the finish line, limped.

(crowd cheers)

Thank you.

- Woo!

- Across the finish line,
limped this Clydesdale.

I was running down the final stretch

and all these people cheering
and screaming for me.

It's amazing, like amazing.

It's totally worth, you
know, not being able

to walk and having a fractured rib.

You should try it.

The running part, not the fractured rib.

(laughing)

I had a good cry.

I was crippled for a few days.

But I survived.

And I think the moral of the story is,

as cliche as it is, we only
live, we only live once

and we have to make the most of our time.

You know my mom would have given anything

to have been here longer.

You know, we don't have control

over how long we're here.

We don't have control over how we leave.

But if going for a few hundred-mile runs

and eating a few less Doritos

is going to improve the odds of me

not leaving the way she did, yeah,

let's run a hundred miles, for sure.

It's totally worth it.

If there something you want to do,

there's like the crazy thing
you've always wanted to do,

like this is the time, like now.

Like right now.

- You wanting
to do another one ever?

- No I didn't say that.

- I'm asking.

- Not right now.

(laughing)

- I didn't mean right now.

- Not right now, I don't ever
want to do another one, but

I'm sure I will at some point.

(upbeat inspirational music)

But all of this was inspired by a quote

by Mae West that I have always
loved since I was a kid.

Mae West said, "You only live once

"but if you do it right, once is enough."

(upbeat country music)

♪ Ain't gonna fight with a raging fire ♪

♪ Ain't gonna walk with the same ♪

♪ Courage comes from my own desire ♪

♪ Leaving myself with the blame ♪

♪ But a spark turns into flames ♪

♪ It's hard to run from
the endless worry ♪

♪ Lonely times are so cold ♪

♪ You left me with a fighting fury ♪

♪ Burning deep in my soul ♪

♪ And a spark ♪

♪ turns into flame ♪

♪ And the fire ♪

♪ begins to rage ♪

♪ Fighting the devil in and out ♪

♪ On my own I'll lose ♪

♪ I know without a single doubt ♪

♪ I'm gonna win if I choose ♪

♪ And a spark turns into flame ♪

♪ Uh oh mm mm ♪

♪ I've had to fight with a raging fire ♪

♪ I had to walk with the same ♪

♪ It burns from my own desire ♪

♪ Strength I don't want to tame ♪

♪ And a spark becomes a flame ♪

♪ And a fire ♪

♪ begins to rage ♪

♪ Becomes a flame ♪

♪ Oh oh mm mm ♪