On-Site (2019) - full transcript
Nothing is what it seems when the manager of an apartment building becomes obsessed with a new couple who move in.
- Character cannot be
developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experience
of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened,
ambition inspired
and success achieved.
Helen Keller.
Tinseltown
Villa Apartments.
This is Lisa, may I help you?
Tinseltown Villa Apartments,
this is Lisa, can I help you?
This is
Lisa, may I help you?
Tinseltown Villa Apartments.
This is Lisa, may I help you?
Tinseltown Villa
Apartments.
Tinseltown Villa Apartments.
This is Lisa, may I help you?
Tinseltown Villa
Apartments.
This is Lisa, may I help you?
This is Lisa, may I help you?
- Yep.
Any day between 11 and six.
Nope, you don't need
an appointment.
Right, every day.
11 until six o'clock.
Yep, we're open on Sundays too,
until six.
No, you don't need an
appointment.
Even on a Sunday.
Yeah, we're open
today until six.
Well, if you just come
to the building,
we'll be happy to show you,
you know, when we have one.
The singles usually
go for 1,595.
No, I'm sorry. They don't
negotiate on the unit price.
Well, I'm sorry, but-
Hello?
Yes, Ginny.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What are you doing?
- Just living the dream.
- Are you busy?
- Not any more than usual.
- If you're busy, I
can come back.
- Stop.
You stop.
How is your day going?
- It's just another beautiful,
sunny California day, Ginny.
- Cool.
Cool.
Cool.
- So?
What's up?
- Oh, I'm so late. I
gotta go walk the dog.
- You're supposed to be
walking the dog right now?
- Yeah, if I'm not at Karen's
at exactly one,
Snickers pees inside.
- It's 10 after one.
- I know, I'm so late.
- So do you think Snickers
is peeing right now,
or is the one time
that he holds it?
- She?
- Sorry, she.
I gotta get that, Ginny.
- Oh, hey, okay.
Good talk.
- Good talk.
- Woo.
- Tinseltown Villa Apartments.
This is Lisa, can I help you?
Sure, I'll buzz you in.
- Oh, sorry.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- I'm the on-site manager, Lisa.
- Claire.
This is my husband, Will.
- Hi, Lisa.
- Hi.
- We're here to see
the one-bedroom.
- We actually don't have any
one-bedrooms to show right now.
- Oh, it said online
that you did.
- Yeah, sorry, sometimes they
forget to pull the old ads.
We're remodeling some units,
though.
We should have one
available by the first.
- You don't have anything
you can show us today.
- We're only in town from
Texas for the weekend,
and so we're hoping to
get something locked down
for his work ... it
starts on the fourth.
- Well we definitely will have
something available by then.
- Okay, how much?
- The one-bedrooms are
usually 1,895.
- That's within our price range.
- Moving's the worst.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- It's a nightmare.
- You know what? Let me
just give you a card.
And that way, if you
don't find anything,
you can always call us back.
- Okay, thanks.
- Yeah.
Have a seat.
What kinda work do you do?
- Systems analyst.
- His office is just down
the street from here.
And we were hoping to get
somewhere close
because of traffic.
We only have one car.
Anywhere close or decent
is so expensive.
- That's LA for you.
What about you, Claire?
What kinda work do you do?
I'm an actress.
I know it's cliche, but,
small town girl coming
to LA to make it big.
- Well if you're a cliche then
I'm an absolute stereotype.
I'm guilty of the same thing.
Hence the job
peddling apartments.
- Is it really as
difficult as everyone says?
- What?
You've heard that?
No no no, it's super easy.
I just, I love doing this
instead of spending my millions.
No, you know I've done a
few small things.
I have a manager and stuff, but
it's work.
But, you know, if you have
a good support network
and a little bit of
talent, it's not that bad.
- See, honey?
It's easy.
You have a little bit of
talent, and I support you.
She's my retirement plan,
so don't discourage her.
- Your secret's safe with me.
All right, yeah, so here's
my information.
Like I said, we're definitely
gonna have something available
by the time you're
looking to move.
And no BS, they're actually
really nice one-bedrooms.
I kinda lucked into this gig
when we first moved here,
but even if I didn't get free
rent, I would still live here.
- You get free rent?
Wow, that must be so
perfect for your acting.
- I'm not gonna lie.
It's a pretty sweet deal.
All right,
we're gonna take a look
at some other places.
If we don't find anything,
we'll give you a call.
- Great.
- Thanks.
- Oh, you know what?
Let me just get you
some applications.
That way, if you get home
and you decide that you're
interested here, we can
always just do it by fax
and that way you're
locked in, ready to move.
They're pretty self-explanatory.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- Good luck in your search.
- Lisa is sad.
Lisa is sad.
Lisa is sad.
Lisa is sad.
Lisa is sad, goddammit.
Lisa is getting angry.
Lisa is sad.
Where did you go?
Where did you fucking go?
You could have stayed.
You should have stayed.
But you don't have the courage,
do you?
You fucking piece of shit,
you fucking cowardly fuck.
Fuck you!
I should have killed us both.
I should have killed us both.
But you don't have the courage,
do you?
To die?
To stay forever like
you promised?
Lisa is happy.
Lisa is happy.
Tinseltown
Villa Apartments.
This is Lisa, may I help you?
Yeah, sure, I remember you,
Claire.
Yeah, they're coming
through now.
- Hi, Lisa.
- That's really nice.
Yeah, I got a good feeling
from you guys, too.
Yeah, it'll definitely
be ready by the first.
Okay, great, well, I'm
gonna run these,
and then I'll let you know
on an approval as
soon as possible.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, bye.
- I'm sorry to bother
you. Are you busy, Lisa?
I'm so sorry.
- I'm about to be busy
running some applications.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- That's all right.
What's up?
- No, I can come back.
- Ginny, you can stop
apologizing.
- Okay.
Sorry.
Sorry.
- What do you need?
- It's Wallace. You now,
Wallace, my cat?
- Yeah, how's young
Wallace doing these days?
I can't find him.
- What do you mean?
- I think he got out.
- Outta your apartment?
- Yeah.
But I don't know how.
He doesn't know how to
survive outside.
I'm sure he's
probably just
hiding somewhere in
your apartment.
- No!
I looked.
- Okay ... just calm down.
- Well, what am I gonna do?
I raised him since
he was a baby.
He doesn't know how to do
anything outside of the
apartment.
- It's okay, just calm down,
Ginny.
- No, he needs his shots.
- What?
- Wallace suffers from anxiety.
The vet gave him pills,
but he won't take them,
so I have to give him
injections twice a day.
- That ... fits.
You know what? I wouldn't worry.
He couldn't have gotten far.
- You think he's okay?
- Yeah, I'm sure he's just
... somewhere in the building.
- But what if he gets hungry?
- Well then he'll come
out looking for food,
and when he does,
we'll find him.
- Are you sure?
- Well, no, but I usually have
a pretty good feeling
about these things.
- No, you have to find him!
- No, I don't.
But I'll do what I can to help,
all right?
- Sorry.
Sorry.
- It's okay. I know
you're upset.
Why don't you go upstairs,
and maybe he'll come back?
- You think he will?
- Well I know if you're
not up there when he does,
then he can't come in.
- You're right.
- Whoa.
- Will and Claire Winston
are moving in today,
a lovely couple, a
lervely, lovely, lovely?
Lovely.
A lovely couple from Texas.
Maybe I'll invite them
around for some iced tea
next time I see them
in the garage.
Tinseltown Villa Apartments.
This is Lisa, may I help you?
Hey, Will.
Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, no, those are
supposed to be
in your apartment already.
Yeah.
No no no, no, it's no problem,
yeah.
I'll bring you some right now.
- Sorry, Lisa, we really
weren't trying
to be a pain or anything.
- No, no, it's my fault.
These are actually
supposed to be
in the apartment when
you move in.
- Thank you, lifesaver.
I got first shower.
- Well chivalry's clearly dead.
- I mean, you can join
if you want to.
Overshare?
- Sorry about him.
He had a few beers before we-
- No I get it, new
apartment, gotta christen it.
- See? She gets it.
And besides, California's
always in a drought, right?
We could all shower together
and save some water.
Welcome to the Left Coast,
man. I'm all for it.
- Will?
- Yeah, I'll be in the
shower if you need me.
- Okay, I think that's
more than enough for now.
Thank you for bringing the rod,
and sorry about my
crude husband.
- If this is the worst thing
I'm gonna have to deal with
from you guys, I think we're
gonna get along just fine.
- Okay.
Well, um.
- Cool.
- Wait, Lisa, actually, I
was wondering,
and feel free to say no if
it's totally out of line, but
I was wondering, since you're
like the only actual actor
I know here in Hollywood,
if we could like sit
down sometime
and I could pick your
brain for some advice.
- Fuck no.
- Okay, no, sorry.
I just.
- I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
I'm so sorry.
- Oh my God.
- I couldn't help it.
Yeah, of course, I'm happy
to help any way I can.
- Jesus Christ, that was.
- Yeah.
Any time, yeah, I'm free
tonight actually,
if you wanna stop by later.
- Tonight may not be
great with the whole
like getting settled.
- Moving, sorry, yeah.
- That's okay but ...
tomorrow maybe.
- Yeah, definitely.
Just let me know, I'm
free whenever, so.
- Okay, thank you.
- Yeah, what are friends for?
Cool.
Oh, you bring the wine, though,
right?
Yeah, happy to.
- Well, that was embarrassing.
- Aw, she didn't think so.
- Do you still have room for me?
- I thought that you were
too embarrassed.
- I was embarrassed.
But like she said, we still have
to christen this place properly.
I knew there's
a reason I loved you.
- Who do we have here?
Young Wallace, I presume?
Hm, how'd you get in here.
Ginny's been
terribly distraught.
Yeah.
You've been a very, very
naughty kitty.
Very naughty.
- Okay, Lisa, I've
finished everything.
- Okay.
Oh, we need more shower
curtain rods.
I gave the last one to 413.
- Oh, there's none
downstairs in the storeroom?
- Mm-mm, just the usual
crap down there.
I went and checked.
Which we should probably get
that junk out, by the way.
That stupid barrel's been
down there since I moved in.
- Yeah, you know, they came
to redo the elevator shaft
and they left that like
10 years ago.
- Right, so we should
probably haul it away, right?
- Mm.
- Mm.
- Okay. I'll be in Lankershim.
You know, coming up to get
ready for the inspection there.
- Right, how long's
that gonna talk.
- Ooh, don't know but they say
we have to retile everything
and all that before
the city comes.
Ay, Madre.
- Okay, so what if we
have maintenance issues?
- Talk to Ted, but you
know he's got me
and Luis and Pancho all there.
He say you don't have apartment,
so you don't need me for a
month at least.
He say.
- Yeah, we've only got
100 apartments.
What could possibly go
wrong in a month?
- Okay.
I'll see you, Lisa.
- Have a good night.
- Holy shit, Claire.
- You don't want salad?
- Of course I do.
Thank you, by the way.
But you haven't been
outside lately, have you?
- No, why?
- Because there's a
whole fucking scene
happening down at
the front door.
- Details.
- Okay, so, I'm making my
way up to the front, right?
- Right.
- I see like, two cop cars,
a firetruck, an ambulance.
- Holy crap.
- Yeah, then all of
sudden there's this woman,
just like screaming and yelling.
I mean, just completely
losing her shit.
I know, right?
So, as I'm making her way up,
I see her and she's just like,
the cops are trying to
calm her down to get her
on the stretcher, but she's
just ranting and raving,
and I mean kicking at them
like a fucking lunatic.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
Dead serious.
She was just like fucking
yelling at them.
- Well what was she saying?
- All I could make out
between the sobs was,
my cat, my cat.
And she yells out the
name Wallace
right as they tied her
down to the stretcher.
- Oh, geez.
- Fucking crazy.
Well, how was your day?
- Well, clearly not as
exciting as yours.
- Don't get ahead of yourself.
I spent the rest of my
morning at work.
- It's only your first day.
How can you be like that?
- What can I say?
It's work. It's meetings
and cubicles and ... work.
- You make it sound so awful.
- That's my way, babe.
Which is why I'd rather hear
more about you, beautiful.
So, do tell.
- Oh, well, if you must know.
I did some yoga after you left,
and then I went for a
walk, got some coffee,
took a look around the
neighborhood.
And-
- Did you find anything good?
- No psychotic ravings
about their cat,
if that's what you mean.
- Feel safer already.
- Right?
Oh, I submitted for
some auditions
before coming back here and
making lunch.
- And?
- And what?
- Did you get anything good?
- It's Day One, honey.
- So?
- So, it doesn't work like that.
- It might.
- It doesn't.
But I am meeting with Lisa
later, and we're gonna
learn how to hopefully
speed up the process.
- Nice.
- Yeah.
- Hey, try to figure out
the story of the cat lady.
- Oh, you can guarantee,
that'll be the first on
my list of questions.
- Coming.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Is now
still a good time?
Yeah, yeah, come in.
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah, sorry about the mess.
- No, I meant, wow, this is
so different from our place.
- Oh yeah.
The remodeled units are
really different,
but the manager before me
was here for like 20 years,
so ... kind of one
of a kind now.
- I really like it.
- Thanks.
- Oh my God, is that you?
Oh, it's from
a film I shot.
I swear, I don't just sit
around watching myself all day.
- My God, that is so awesome.
Can I see?
- Um ... it's just that
it's not done yet, so.
- No, I didn't, sorry.
- No, it's okay, I just,
I just haven't had a chance
to see how bad I am yet.
- Come on.
- You never know. I'm serious.
Okay ... you want
something to drink?
- Oh, as promised, I
brought the wine.
- Oh.
Fancy.
Have a seat.
- Oh, Will said there was
something about,
there was something outside
today with the police.
Oh, Wallace.
One of our
tenant's cat died,
and she was really
upset about it.
- Wait, her cat died,
and she had to be
restrained in a stretcher?
- Yeah, she's got ... issues.
Bless her heart, you know what,
I probably shouldn't be
talking about it.
- No, oh, I don't wanna pry
if you can't talk about it.
- Don't leave me, please
don't leave me, please don't.
- It's fine. I can probably
tell you about it if you just
promise not to, like,
share it around.
- No, totally.
I won't say anything,
but who do I know
besides you anyway?
Oh, Wallace.
- All right, I'll trust you.
But if you tell anybody,
I'm gonna have to kill you.
So, her name is Ginny.
And she takes ... a
lotta medications,
just to get through her day.
And by a lot, I mean like
... 30 different things.
So when her cat died, I
guess it just
musta been too much for her.
- Wallace, Wallace.
Did she see it,
get hit by a car or something?
- No, nothing like that even.
Ginny's just extremely
sensitive to small changes.
She's schizophrenic, paranoid,
severe OCD, manic, all that.
Manager.
- So, okay, she comes
into my office,
she tells me that she
thinks her cat is missing.
So I tell her, you know,
I'm sure it's probably
just hiding or something.
She tells me that she
looked everywhere for it.
I told her it was probably
just under the bed,
not to worry, that we'd let
her know if we found anything.
But, turns out it was just
under her bed, the whole time.
Yeah, I think the smell
finally tipped her off.
- Oh God.
- Just goes to show you that
... sanity's a fragile thing.
I lie on the floor,
watched by nothing
and hanging on.
I cry at night.
I'm afraid of hearing voices,
or a voice.
I have come to the
edge of the land.
I could get pushed over.
Margaret Atwood.
It's from her book Cat's Eye.
You should check it
out sometime.
Anyway, enough talk
about being crazy,
let's talk about acting.
Thought you said enough talk
about being crazy.
- Hey, there you are.
Thought I was gonna have to
send out a search party for you.
- Sorry, honey.
- Wait.
Somebody's been in the
wine, it tastes like.
- I may have finished a
bottle with Lisa.
- A whole bottle?
- It was a team effort.
- How Hollywood of you,
on a Monday afternoon.
- When in Rome.
- True.
So what else did you learn
on your Roman holiday?
- Quite a lot, actually.
Did you know that she spends
a couple hours every day
recording herself just
to perfect her craft?
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
And then she'll wait a couple
weeks, and then she'll go back
and critique herself, always
with the sound off, though.
- I mean, I do the same thing.
Granted it's just cellphone
video of me masturbating,
but I really find it helps
my performance.
- Strange you don't seem to
be getting any better in bed.
- Touche.
So what other kinda
pearls did she teach you?
- Tons.
Seriously, things I would
not have even thought of.
- Good.
- Yeah.
She's very nice.
- Aw, somebody's got
them a new friend.
Stop it.
- Seriously, I'm glad you
guys are hitting it off.
She seems like a
pretty cool chick.
- Yeah, and I invited her
over for dinner
this weekend, actually.
- Ugh, speaking of dinner,
I can't live on beer alone.
Are you cooking something,
or am I ordering in?
- You're truly helpless
without me, aren't you?
- What?
No, I'm not.
I can easily dial the
number to several different
pizza places that deliver.
- Oh, pizza does sound good.
- Pizza it is.
- Will, I forgot to tell
you about the cat lady.
- Oh yeah.
Pizza first, then the cat lady.
Tonight, on
Before They Were Famous.
- Will, no.
Claire Winston,
once a small town Texas girl,
now a budding Hollywood starlet.
- Stop.
How does she prepare?
What does she read?
We have the exclusive interview.
- Stop, no.
Come on, honey.
Your public needs you.
I look so awful.
A young woman
wracked by self-doubt
becomes a Hollywood icon.
Today we go inside ...
Claire Winston.
- You know, people often ask me,
Claire, how do you do it?
That's exactly
what our viewers are asking.
- Do you really wanna
know my secret?
One word, Will.
Just one word.
Gluten-free.
- Tune in next week for an
episode of Where Are They Now
featuring that kid from
the movie in 1992?
Yeah, that's a wrap.
Will.
- I love you, Claire Winston.
What?
- Do you really think
I'll make it?
- I have zero doubt that
you're gonna be successful.
- Why?
- Because you're really
fucking talented.
- Yeah, maybe in honky
tonk Texas, but this is LA.
- Talent isn't regional, Claire.
You either have it or you don't.
And you have it.
- I love you, Will Winston.
- That'll do.
Now give me some sugar.
- Hey, how's it-
Oh my God, Will, I am so sorry,
oh my God.
- It's okay.
It's fine.
- Did you get any on you?
Oh, no no no.
Drought prevention, right?
Just saving water by
showing in coffee.
- I'll get it.
God, I'm such an idiot.
I'm so sorry.
- It's all right. If I
wasn't such a candy ass,
maybe I wouldn't have jumped
at the sound of your voice.
- If only I had a
nickel for every guy
that jumped at the
sound of my voice.
- Oh yeah?
Well I guess we
gotta communicate
via body language
from now on then.
- That's definitely one
way to do it.
- Or you could just agree not
to sneak up on hapless dudes
with coffee early in
the morning.
- That is probably safer.
Fuck.
- I gotta get to work.
- Yeah, sorry.
- Hey, since you made me spill
my coffee, you better bring
some good beer or something
when you come over for dinner.
- Will do.
- Oh my God.
- No, Claire, no.
You think this is easy for me?
Lisa is good.
Lisa is good.
Don't fuck it up.
- No, I didn't like
her take on it.
- I just felt like she looked
really fat in her skirt.
- I'm sorry, they said
to just come in.
- Of course, please.
- Head shot, resume?
- Yeah, right here.
- Lisa Rybicki.
Polish?
- I'm sorry.
Are you Polish?
- Yeah, my last name is.
- Do you speak it?
- Polish?
- Yes.
- No.
I think my family's been
in the US for generations.
- Who are you repped by, Lisa?
- I'm actually in between
management at the moment.
- All right, Lisa, you'll
be reading with Clio today.
You can start it.
Okay, if you
can start with your name,
the role you're here for
and who you're repped by.
- Hi, Lisa Rybicki, reading
for the role of Gemini.
Self submission, I guess.
And action.
- Fucking idiot.
You're a fucking stupid
piece of shit.
Stupid.
You have no talent.
Everybody hates you, and
you're never gonna be anything.
Lisa is happy.
- Claire?
Claire?
Claire?
Claire? Will?
In winter with warm
tears, I'll melt the snow.
And keep eternal
springtime on my way.
Lisa.
- Hey. Sorry I missed your call.
I was just leaving you a note,
telling you to drop by whenever.
What was so urgent?
- Oh, well, since you're
here, just come in.
I'll tell you all about it.
Okay.
- So last night, I was
submitting my head shots,
through one of the websites
that you showed me.
- Uh-huh.
- And this morning I
got an email
saying they wanna tape audition.
- Oh, that's go great.
- I know!
I mean, it's just an audition.
- No, it's a start.
- I know, right?
Oh my God.
- So what do you need
my help with?
- Okay, this sounds
really stupid,
but I've never had to do a
self-tape audition before.
- Oh, you want me to help
you do your self-tape?
- Well, I mean, I got
this tripod and stuff.
And I could just set
up my phone,
but I was wondering if
you could read with me.
- Yeah.
- I mean, you don't have
to if you don't want to.
It's totally okay.
- Claire, stop, yes, I
am happy to help you.
- I can get Will to do it.
- No, no, I'm happy to help.
- Okay, thanks.
- The Sides? What's the role?
- Yeah.
They did the in-person
auditions today,
but they liked my look enough.
Said just see what I
could do with it.
I'm reading for Gemini.
- Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
You definitely look right for
the role, from what I see.
They want it
tomorrow by five,
so I'm really gonna
have to work my ass off
to learn this tonight.
- Well, I'm gonna let you
get to it then.
And then maybe we can
meet up tomorrow
afternoon to record it.
- Thank you so much.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
Good luck.
- Don't spill your coffee.
It's just me.
- Thanks for the
warning this time.
Hey, I thought one of the
perks of being
an actor was that you
get to sleep in.
What are you doing up so early?
- Stalking you, obviously.
- Well, it happens.
- I'm only human.
No, I do a building
walk-through every morning
just to ensure your
personal safety.
- My personal safety, huh?
- Mm-hm, you ... and every
other tenant in the building.
- Here I was, thinking
I was special.
- Oh no, you are special.
You are.
- Be sure and tell my wife that,
will you?
- She needs some reminding?
- Maybe.
It's nothing.
I think she's just
stressing about this
audition that she's got.
- And?
- And, I might have been a bit
of a selfish asshole last night.
- You, a selfish asshole?
- You tell her I said
that, and I'll kill you.
- Careful, Will, you
don't want me
to have something
like that on you.
- Oh yeah?
Oh yeah.
- Women, incorrigible.
- Aren't we just?
- Anyway, will you help her
do good on this audition
so she's in a good mood
when I come home?
- Anything for you, Champ.
- Careful, might hold
you to that.
- Maybe I'll hold you to that.
- You are trouble.
- Do I look okay?
- Just hang on.
Okay, look at me.
You wanna do a practice one?
- No, let's just go.
- Okay.
- You think this is easy?
Do you think this is
fucking easy for me,
dressing this way and
doing the things
that I have to do every night?
You don't
have to do them.
- Don't I?
No.
- Then who's gonna take care
of you, of us, if I don't?
Who's gonna pay for your
school and put clothes
on your back and food
in your stomach
if I don't go out and
work at night?
You know what I mean.
- No, I don't.
So please, tell me, tell
me how we're gonna survive
without the money that I make.
You could do
something else.
You don't have to do that.
- Don't you tell me
what I have to do,
when all I've known since
Mom and Dad died
is that I have to
take care of you.
Mom and Dad
wouldn't want you
to be a whore, Gemini,
even for me.
- Right, no, you're right.
Maybe ... maybe I'm a whore,
but someday maybe you'll
realize that I only
became a whore so that
you never had to.
Was that okay?
- Shit, sorry, yeah.
- Do we have to do it again?
- No, that was awesome.
- Really?
- Yeah, I mean, you can
do another one
for safety, if you want,
but that was,
that was really good.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
You're good.
Here, come here, come watch.
- Hey!
- Oh my God.
- Got ya, didn't I?
- Good one.
- Oh.
This looks fancy.
What's the occasion?
- We're having Lisa for dinner.
- Interesting, looks
like pasta to me.
- Ah, those are for the hummus.
- Just one.
So?
Still mad at me?
- Depends.
Are you still being a jerk?
- Jerk?
Come, come, you wasp...
- No no, no no no, don't
you try and Shakespeare
your way outta this one with me,
Mister.
- No?
What if I wanna compare
you to a summer's day?
Which is true.
Thou art more lovely
and more fair.
- Words of so sweet breath
composed, but since you
are not Shakespeare,
there's only one word
I need to hear, Will.
- Colostomy?
- Gingerbread, perhaps.
- Better, but no.
- I don't even know
what that means.
- It means,
I'm sorry.
- You're forgiven.
Now go get cleaned up
before she gets here, okay?
Will!
- Just one more.
- Lisa is pretty.
Lisa is pretty.
Lisa is pretty.
- Stop.
Stop.
- No no, no no no, keep going.
I wanna hear about my
superstar in the making wife.
- She was.
I literally felt like there
was a 20-year-old stripper
trying to support her sister,
just standing there in
my apartment.
She's gifted.
Truly.
- Thanks.
But I couldn't have done
it without you.
Here here.
Here's to me banging a
20-year-old stripper tonight.
- Okay, don't be so crass.
- No, here's to the
producers recognizing
true talent when they see it.
- Ah.
- You don't need any more,
either.
- Kill it.
Wine police say I don't
need any more of that.
Love you, babe.
So, Lisa.
What's your story?
What's a hot chick like
you doing rolling...
- Will Winston.
- What? It's a legit question.
- It's okay.
- You don't have to answer that.
- Unless of course you want to.
- You don't.
- It's totally okay.
If you most know Mr. Nosy Pants,
I was with someone recently.
For a little over three years.
- And?
- And, it,
just,
sort of ended.
- Well, you know, I'm
sure you'll meet
the right guy when you're ready.
- Yeah.
- That being said, I
hate to leave you alone
with this one, but nature calls.
- Sorry if I was outta line.
- You're fine.
- Hey, you know what
they say about
getting over somebody, right?
- No, Will, what is it they say?
- The only way to get
over somebody
is to get under somebody else.
- Oh.
I'll keep that in mind.
- Please do.
Just don't tell Claire. She
doesn't have the same kinda
sense of humor about
these things.
- Oh, no.
No need to worry.
I'm good at keeping secrets.
- Hey.
How's my
20-something-year-old stripper?
- Stop.
- Come on, I can think
of a lot better things
to do than read right now.
- You stop it.
- What?
- You know what.
- Are you still upset
about what I asked Lisa?
Seriously?
Claire, she doesn't care.
She doesn't.
- You know, just
because she said that
doesn't mean it's actually
how she feels, Will.
- Claire, you're a sweet girl,
okay,
which is why I love you so much
but not everybody is as
sensitive about shit like you.
I didn't mean to say
it like that.
- What, like an asshole?
- Claire.
Look.
- Seriously, what is
it every time
you get around her anyway?
I mean, the comments and the
innuendos and the flirting,
how do you think that
makes me feel seeing that?
You know, and I know she
doesn't like it.
- Claire, you don't think I'd
actually hurt you, do you?
- I don't know.
- Well, wait a second,
you actually think...
- You know what, you
wait a second.
In fact, why don't you
just go sleep on the couch
since I'm so
sensitive about shit?
- Claire.
Seriously?
Fine.
Fuck it.
- Will.
- Hey.
- Well good morning to you too,
Sunshine.
- Sorry.
How's it going?
- Why the long face?
- It's a long story.
You look like you're up
to something fun
and exciting this morning.
- You have no idea.
Do you think you
could help me move
something in the storage
room really quickly?
Please, it'll only take a
second, I swear.
- Yeah, sure.
- Thanks, you're the best.
Right this way.
Aprez vous.
It's right back there.
Just this one thing.
- What do you want me to do?
- Die.
- Fuck.
Fuck!
I'll fucking kill you.
- Claire?
Manager.
Claire?
Lisa.
- Hey, you are here.
- Yeah, what are you doing here?
- Sorry, official manager stuff.
The apartment above yours
was complaining
about a water leak, so I
just came down to make sure
it wasn't running down your
walls or on your ceiling.
I knocked, but you must
not have heard me.
- Yeah, I was sleeping, but
we haven't had any problems.
- Yeah, looks good.
Anyway, sorry if I woke you up.
Hey, let me know if you
wanna grab coffee
or something later
this afternoon.
- Yeah, maybe.
Okay, take care.
- Wow.
- Character cannot be
developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experience
of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened,
ambition inspired
and success achieved.
Tinseltown Villa Apartments.
This is Lisa, can I help you?
Hey, Claire, what's up?
Okay, okay, wait, slow down.
Okay, yeah, I'll be right up.
Lisa is happy.
Oh my God, are you okay,
what happened?
- Have you seen Will today?
- Yeah, I think I saw him
going out of the front door
when I was in the office
this morning, why?
- The front door?
- Yeah, why, what happened?
What is this?
- Look at it.
It looks like
a credit card statement.
- Yeah, from an account
I've never seen before.
- Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
I'm just confused.
Tell me what happened, honey.
- Last night, Will and I
got in a fight
over something stupid, and I
made him sleep on the couch.
- Okay, that happens sometimes.
- No, it's never
happened with us.
And then I get up this
morning and then, you're here,
but okay, whatever,
fine, and then you leave
and I got my tea and I
checked my email
and I got an email that
I got the part.
- What?
- The role of Gemini, I
got the part.
- Oh my God, Claire, that's
amazing. That's so amazing.
- No, because then I found this.
- I don't understand.
What does that have to do
with you getting the role?
- Don't you see what's on here?
There's lingerie, and
there's jewelry
and then there's
plane tickets too.
- It's okay, it's okay.
- Will just, he found someone
else and he just left me.
- No, Claire, no. That
didn't happen.
Yes he did.
And I've been calling his
cellphone since I found this,
and it doesn't even go
to voicemail.
And I called his office, too,
and they haven't seen him.
And his car's downstairs
but he's not here,
and you said you saw him leave.
- Yeah, but I'm sure
that doesn't mean.
Claire, Claire, Claire.
It's okay.
It's okay, honey.
It's okay.
- I've lost him.
- No, no, Claire. You did not.
If he left, he's the one who's
lost, do you understand me?
Claire, Claire.
You are kind and beautiful
and smart and talented.
A true artist. Anybody
would be lucky to have you.
I'm lucky to have you.
- What do you mean?
- You know what I mean, Claire.
And if he left us together,
it's for a reason.
Claire.
- I think you should go.
Claire.
- I need you to
leave now please.
Claire, don't
deny what you feel.
- Lisa, I don't know what
you're talking about.
- Don't say that, Claire.
- Lisa, I'm sorry, I don't...
- Don't say that.
- Lisa.
- Don't Lisa me.
After everything I've
done for you.
After I let you have the
role of Gemini,
don't you fucking dare.
I gave you a home.
- Lisa, you're scaring me.
- I'm scaring you.
Why?
Because you fear
being truly loved
by somebody who would
never leave you?
Somebody who
recognizes your talent,
somebody who
understands your beauty?
Somebody who is your soulmate.
- Lisa, don't.
- Oh no, no no, no no no, no.
- Why?
- Lisa is lonely.
But you can't help her now.
Lisa is smart.
Lisa can fix this.
Lisa is sad.
Lisa is sad.
Lisa is sad.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Please come quick. Somebody has
been stabbed in my building.
Tinseltown Villa Apartments,
I'm the on-site manager.
Yeah, please come quick.
Now, before we
go any further,
by California law, I do
need to inform you
and have you sign a form
acknowledging that you know
that somebody did die in the
apartment that you're renting
within the last three years.
- Are you serious?
I'm afraid so.
- That's really a law
in California?
Crazy but true.
- How'd they die?
You really wanna know?
Well, they were a young
couple, moved here from Texas
so that she could pursue
acting, much like you wanna do.
And one morning, management
needed to check on a building
issue in their apartment,
and she was lying there,
stabbed in the chest.
- Oh my God.
- Did they know who did it?
They suspect the
husband because he disappeared
the same day, but nobody's
seen him since.
Obviously, this is the first
time anything like this
has ever happened, but I am
required by law to tell you.
- What do you think, honey?
- It's not haunted, is it?
- Not that I know of.
- Hey, everyone dies.
Not everyone can get a
one-bedroom at this price.
Am I right?
You'll have
to forgive him.
- Great, well that's it then.
It's ready to move in
whenever you guys would like.
Oh, I totally forgot to get
you a shower curtain rod.
I'll get that this afternoon,
okay?
Welcome to Tinseltown Villa.
developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experience
of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened,
ambition inspired
and success achieved.
Helen Keller.
Tinseltown
Villa Apartments.
This is Lisa, may I help you?
Tinseltown Villa Apartments,
this is Lisa, can I help you?
This is
Lisa, may I help you?
Tinseltown Villa Apartments.
This is Lisa, may I help you?
Tinseltown Villa
Apartments.
Tinseltown Villa Apartments.
This is Lisa, may I help you?
Tinseltown Villa
Apartments.
This is Lisa, may I help you?
This is Lisa, may I help you?
- Yep.
Any day between 11 and six.
Nope, you don't need
an appointment.
Right, every day.
11 until six o'clock.
Yep, we're open on Sundays too,
until six.
No, you don't need an
appointment.
Even on a Sunday.
Yeah, we're open
today until six.
Well, if you just come
to the building,
we'll be happy to show you,
you know, when we have one.
The singles usually
go for 1,595.
No, I'm sorry. They don't
negotiate on the unit price.
Well, I'm sorry, but-
Hello?
Yes, Ginny.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What are you doing?
- Just living the dream.
- Are you busy?
- Not any more than usual.
- If you're busy, I
can come back.
- Stop.
You stop.
How is your day going?
- It's just another beautiful,
sunny California day, Ginny.
- Cool.
Cool.
Cool.
- So?
What's up?
- Oh, I'm so late. I
gotta go walk the dog.
- You're supposed to be
walking the dog right now?
- Yeah, if I'm not at Karen's
at exactly one,
Snickers pees inside.
- It's 10 after one.
- I know, I'm so late.
- So do you think Snickers
is peeing right now,
or is the one time
that he holds it?
- She?
- Sorry, she.
I gotta get that, Ginny.
- Oh, hey, okay.
Good talk.
- Good talk.
- Woo.
- Tinseltown Villa Apartments.
This is Lisa, can I help you?
Sure, I'll buzz you in.
- Oh, sorry.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- I'm the on-site manager, Lisa.
- Claire.
This is my husband, Will.
- Hi, Lisa.
- Hi.
- We're here to see
the one-bedroom.
- We actually don't have any
one-bedrooms to show right now.
- Oh, it said online
that you did.
- Yeah, sorry, sometimes they
forget to pull the old ads.
We're remodeling some units,
though.
We should have one
available by the first.
- You don't have anything
you can show us today.
- We're only in town from
Texas for the weekend,
and so we're hoping to
get something locked down
for his work ... it
starts on the fourth.
- Well we definitely will have
something available by then.
- Okay, how much?
- The one-bedrooms are
usually 1,895.
- That's within our price range.
- Moving's the worst.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- It's a nightmare.
- You know what? Let me
just give you a card.
And that way, if you
don't find anything,
you can always call us back.
- Okay, thanks.
- Yeah.
Have a seat.
What kinda work do you do?
- Systems analyst.
- His office is just down
the street from here.
And we were hoping to get
somewhere close
because of traffic.
We only have one car.
Anywhere close or decent
is so expensive.
- That's LA for you.
What about you, Claire?
What kinda work do you do?
I'm an actress.
I know it's cliche, but,
small town girl coming
to LA to make it big.
- Well if you're a cliche then
I'm an absolute stereotype.
I'm guilty of the same thing.
Hence the job
peddling apartments.
- Is it really as
difficult as everyone says?
- What?
You've heard that?
No no no, it's super easy.
I just, I love doing this
instead of spending my millions.
No, you know I've done a
few small things.
I have a manager and stuff, but
it's work.
But, you know, if you have
a good support network
and a little bit of
talent, it's not that bad.
- See, honey?
It's easy.
You have a little bit of
talent, and I support you.
She's my retirement plan,
so don't discourage her.
- Your secret's safe with me.
All right, yeah, so here's
my information.
Like I said, we're definitely
gonna have something available
by the time you're
looking to move.
And no BS, they're actually
really nice one-bedrooms.
I kinda lucked into this gig
when we first moved here,
but even if I didn't get free
rent, I would still live here.
- You get free rent?
Wow, that must be so
perfect for your acting.
- I'm not gonna lie.
It's a pretty sweet deal.
All right,
we're gonna take a look
at some other places.
If we don't find anything,
we'll give you a call.
- Great.
- Thanks.
- Oh, you know what?
Let me just get you
some applications.
That way, if you get home
and you decide that you're
interested here, we can
always just do it by fax
and that way you're
locked in, ready to move.
They're pretty self-explanatory.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- Good luck in your search.
- Lisa is sad.
Lisa is sad.
Lisa is sad.
Lisa is sad.
Lisa is sad, goddammit.
Lisa is getting angry.
Lisa is sad.
Where did you go?
Where did you fucking go?
You could have stayed.
You should have stayed.
But you don't have the courage,
do you?
You fucking piece of shit,
you fucking cowardly fuck.
Fuck you!
I should have killed us both.
I should have killed us both.
But you don't have the courage,
do you?
To die?
To stay forever like
you promised?
Lisa is happy.
Lisa is happy.
Tinseltown
Villa Apartments.
This is Lisa, may I help you?
Yeah, sure, I remember you,
Claire.
Yeah, they're coming
through now.
- Hi, Lisa.
- That's really nice.
Yeah, I got a good feeling
from you guys, too.
Yeah, it'll definitely
be ready by the first.
Okay, great, well, I'm
gonna run these,
and then I'll let you know
on an approval as
soon as possible.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, bye.
- I'm sorry to bother
you. Are you busy, Lisa?
I'm so sorry.
- I'm about to be busy
running some applications.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- That's all right.
What's up?
- No, I can come back.
- Ginny, you can stop
apologizing.
- Okay.
Sorry.
Sorry.
- What do you need?
- It's Wallace. You now,
Wallace, my cat?
- Yeah, how's young
Wallace doing these days?
I can't find him.
- What do you mean?
- I think he got out.
- Outta your apartment?
- Yeah.
But I don't know how.
He doesn't know how to
survive outside.
I'm sure he's
probably just
hiding somewhere in
your apartment.
- No!
I looked.
- Okay ... just calm down.
- Well, what am I gonna do?
I raised him since
he was a baby.
He doesn't know how to do
anything outside of the
apartment.
- It's okay, just calm down,
Ginny.
- No, he needs his shots.
- What?
- Wallace suffers from anxiety.
The vet gave him pills,
but he won't take them,
so I have to give him
injections twice a day.
- That ... fits.
You know what? I wouldn't worry.
He couldn't have gotten far.
- You think he's okay?
- Yeah, I'm sure he's just
... somewhere in the building.
- But what if he gets hungry?
- Well then he'll come
out looking for food,
and when he does,
we'll find him.
- Are you sure?
- Well, no, but I usually have
a pretty good feeling
about these things.
- No, you have to find him!
- No, I don't.
But I'll do what I can to help,
all right?
- Sorry.
Sorry.
- It's okay. I know
you're upset.
Why don't you go upstairs,
and maybe he'll come back?
- You think he will?
- Well I know if you're
not up there when he does,
then he can't come in.
- You're right.
- Whoa.
- Will and Claire Winston
are moving in today,
a lovely couple, a
lervely, lovely, lovely?
Lovely.
A lovely couple from Texas.
Maybe I'll invite them
around for some iced tea
next time I see them
in the garage.
Tinseltown Villa Apartments.
This is Lisa, may I help you?
Hey, Will.
Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, no, those are
supposed to be
in your apartment already.
Yeah.
No no no, no, it's no problem,
yeah.
I'll bring you some right now.
- Sorry, Lisa, we really
weren't trying
to be a pain or anything.
- No, no, it's my fault.
These are actually
supposed to be
in the apartment when
you move in.
- Thank you, lifesaver.
I got first shower.
- Well chivalry's clearly dead.
- I mean, you can join
if you want to.
Overshare?
- Sorry about him.
He had a few beers before we-
- No I get it, new
apartment, gotta christen it.
- See? She gets it.
And besides, California's
always in a drought, right?
We could all shower together
and save some water.
Welcome to the Left Coast,
man. I'm all for it.
- Will?
- Yeah, I'll be in the
shower if you need me.
- Okay, I think that's
more than enough for now.
Thank you for bringing the rod,
and sorry about my
crude husband.
- If this is the worst thing
I'm gonna have to deal with
from you guys, I think we're
gonna get along just fine.
- Okay.
Well, um.
- Cool.
- Wait, Lisa, actually, I
was wondering,
and feel free to say no if
it's totally out of line, but
I was wondering, since you're
like the only actual actor
I know here in Hollywood,
if we could like sit
down sometime
and I could pick your
brain for some advice.
- Fuck no.
- Okay, no, sorry.
I just.
- I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
I'm so sorry.
- Oh my God.
- I couldn't help it.
Yeah, of course, I'm happy
to help any way I can.
- Jesus Christ, that was.
- Yeah.
Any time, yeah, I'm free
tonight actually,
if you wanna stop by later.
- Tonight may not be
great with the whole
like getting settled.
- Moving, sorry, yeah.
- That's okay but ...
tomorrow maybe.
- Yeah, definitely.
Just let me know, I'm
free whenever, so.
- Okay, thank you.
- Yeah, what are friends for?
Cool.
Oh, you bring the wine, though,
right?
Yeah, happy to.
- Well, that was embarrassing.
- Aw, she didn't think so.
- Do you still have room for me?
- I thought that you were
too embarrassed.
- I was embarrassed.
But like she said, we still have
to christen this place properly.
I knew there's
a reason I loved you.
- Who do we have here?
Young Wallace, I presume?
Hm, how'd you get in here.
Ginny's been
terribly distraught.
Yeah.
You've been a very, very
naughty kitty.
Very naughty.
- Okay, Lisa, I've
finished everything.
- Okay.
Oh, we need more shower
curtain rods.
I gave the last one to 413.
- Oh, there's none
downstairs in the storeroom?
- Mm-mm, just the usual
crap down there.
I went and checked.
Which we should probably get
that junk out, by the way.
That stupid barrel's been
down there since I moved in.
- Yeah, you know, they came
to redo the elevator shaft
and they left that like
10 years ago.
- Right, so we should
probably haul it away, right?
- Mm.
- Mm.
- Okay. I'll be in Lankershim.
You know, coming up to get
ready for the inspection there.
- Right, how long's
that gonna talk.
- Ooh, don't know but they say
we have to retile everything
and all that before
the city comes.
Ay, Madre.
- Okay, so what if we
have maintenance issues?
- Talk to Ted, but you
know he's got me
and Luis and Pancho all there.
He say you don't have apartment,
so you don't need me for a
month at least.
He say.
- Yeah, we've only got
100 apartments.
What could possibly go
wrong in a month?
- Okay.
I'll see you, Lisa.
- Have a good night.
- Holy shit, Claire.
- You don't want salad?
- Of course I do.
Thank you, by the way.
But you haven't been
outside lately, have you?
- No, why?
- Because there's a
whole fucking scene
happening down at
the front door.
- Details.
- Okay, so, I'm making my
way up to the front, right?
- Right.
- I see like, two cop cars,
a firetruck, an ambulance.
- Holy crap.
- Yeah, then all of
sudden there's this woman,
just like screaming and yelling.
I mean, just completely
losing her shit.
I know, right?
So, as I'm making her way up,
I see her and she's just like,
the cops are trying to
calm her down to get her
on the stretcher, but she's
just ranting and raving,
and I mean kicking at them
like a fucking lunatic.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
Dead serious.
She was just like fucking
yelling at them.
- Well what was she saying?
- All I could make out
between the sobs was,
my cat, my cat.
And she yells out the
name Wallace
right as they tied her
down to the stretcher.
- Oh, geez.
- Fucking crazy.
Well, how was your day?
- Well, clearly not as
exciting as yours.
- Don't get ahead of yourself.
I spent the rest of my
morning at work.
- It's only your first day.
How can you be like that?
- What can I say?
It's work. It's meetings
and cubicles and ... work.
- You make it sound so awful.
- That's my way, babe.
Which is why I'd rather hear
more about you, beautiful.
So, do tell.
- Oh, well, if you must know.
I did some yoga after you left,
and then I went for a
walk, got some coffee,
took a look around the
neighborhood.
And-
- Did you find anything good?
- No psychotic ravings
about their cat,
if that's what you mean.
- Feel safer already.
- Right?
Oh, I submitted for
some auditions
before coming back here and
making lunch.
- And?
- And what?
- Did you get anything good?
- It's Day One, honey.
- So?
- So, it doesn't work like that.
- It might.
- It doesn't.
But I am meeting with Lisa
later, and we're gonna
learn how to hopefully
speed up the process.
- Nice.
- Yeah.
- Hey, try to figure out
the story of the cat lady.
- Oh, you can guarantee,
that'll be the first on
my list of questions.
- Coming.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Is now
still a good time?
Yeah, yeah, come in.
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah, sorry about the mess.
- No, I meant, wow, this is
so different from our place.
- Oh yeah.
The remodeled units are
really different,
but the manager before me
was here for like 20 years,
so ... kind of one
of a kind now.
- I really like it.
- Thanks.
- Oh my God, is that you?
Oh, it's from
a film I shot.
I swear, I don't just sit
around watching myself all day.
- My God, that is so awesome.
Can I see?
- Um ... it's just that
it's not done yet, so.
- No, I didn't, sorry.
- No, it's okay, I just,
I just haven't had a chance
to see how bad I am yet.
- Come on.
- You never know. I'm serious.
Okay ... you want
something to drink?
- Oh, as promised, I
brought the wine.
- Oh.
Fancy.
Have a seat.
- Oh, Will said there was
something about,
there was something outside
today with the police.
Oh, Wallace.
One of our
tenant's cat died,
and she was really
upset about it.
- Wait, her cat died,
and she had to be
restrained in a stretcher?
- Yeah, she's got ... issues.
Bless her heart, you know what,
I probably shouldn't be
talking about it.
- No, oh, I don't wanna pry
if you can't talk about it.
- Don't leave me, please
don't leave me, please don't.
- It's fine. I can probably
tell you about it if you just
promise not to, like,
share it around.
- No, totally.
I won't say anything,
but who do I know
besides you anyway?
Oh, Wallace.
- All right, I'll trust you.
But if you tell anybody,
I'm gonna have to kill you.
So, her name is Ginny.
And she takes ... a
lotta medications,
just to get through her day.
And by a lot, I mean like
... 30 different things.
So when her cat died, I
guess it just
musta been too much for her.
- Wallace, Wallace.
Did she see it,
get hit by a car or something?
- No, nothing like that even.
Ginny's just extremely
sensitive to small changes.
She's schizophrenic, paranoid,
severe OCD, manic, all that.
Manager.
- So, okay, she comes
into my office,
she tells me that she
thinks her cat is missing.
So I tell her, you know,
I'm sure it's probably
just hiding or something.
She tells me that she
looked everywhere for it.
I told her it was probably
just under the bed,
not to worry, that we'd let
her know if we found anything.
But, turns out it was just
under her bed, the whole time.
Yeah, I think the smell
finally tipped her off.
- Oh God.
- Just goes to show you that
... sanity's a fragile thing.
I lie on the floor,
watched by nothing
and hanging on.
I cry at night.
I'm afraid of hearing voices,
or a voice.
I have come to the
edge of the land.
I could get pushed over.
Margaret Atwood.
It's from her book Cat's Eye.
You should check it
out sometime.
Anyway, enough talk
about being crazy,
let's talk about acting.
Thought you said enough talk
about being crazy.
- Hey, there you are.
Thought I was gonna have to
send out a search party for you.
- Sorry, honey.
- Wait.
Somebody's been in the
wine, it tastes like.
- I may have finished a
bottle with Lisa.
- A whole bottle?
- It was a team effort.
- How Hollywood of you,
on a Monday afternoon.
- When in Rome.
- True.
So what else did you learn
on your Roman holiday?
- Quite a lot, actually.
Did you know that she spends
a couple hours every day
recording herself just
to perfect her craft?
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
And then she'll wait a couple
weeks, and then she'll go back
and critique herself, always
with the sound off, though.
- I mean, I do the same thing.
Granted it's just cellphone
video of me masturbating,
but I really find it helps
my performance.
- Strange you don't seem to
be getting any better in bed.
- Touche.
So what other kinda
pearls did she teach you?
- Tons.
Seriously, things I would
not have even thought of.
- Good.
- Yeah.
She's very nice.
- Aw, somebody's got
them a new friend.
Stop it.
- Seriously, I'm glad you
guys are hitting it off.
She seems like a
pretty cool chick.
- Yeah, and I invited her
over for dinner
this weekend, actually.
- Ugh, speaking of dinner,
I can't live on beer alone.
Are you cooking something,
or am I ordering in?
- You're truly helpless
without me, aren't you?
- What?
No, I'm not.
I can easily dial the
number to several different
pizza places that deliver.
- Oh, pizza does sound good.
- Pizza it is.
- Will, I forgot to tell
you about the cat lady.
- Oh yeah.
Pizza first, then the cat lady.
Tonight, on
Before They Were Famous.
- Will, no.
Claire Winston,
once a small town Texas girl,
now a budding Hollywood starlet.
- Stop.
How does she prepare?
What does she read?
We have the exclusive interview.
- Stop, no.
Come on, honey.
Your public needs you.
I look so awful.
A young woman
wracked by self-doubt
becomes a Hollywood icon.
Today we go inside ...
Claire Winston.
- You know, people often ask me,
Claire, how do you do it?
That's exactly
what our viewers are asking.
- Do you really wanna
know my secret?
One word, Will.
Just one word.
Gluten-free.
- Tune in next week for an
episode of Where Are They Now
featuring that kid from
the movie in 1992?
Yeah, that's a wrap.
Will.
- I love you, Claire Winston.
What?
- Do you really think
I'll make it?
- I have zero doubt that
you're gonna be successful.
- Why?
- Because you're really
fucking talented.
- Yeah, maybe in honky
tonk Texas, but this is LA.
- Talent isn't regional, Claire.
You either have it or you don't.
And you have it.
- I love you, Will Winston.
- That'll do.
Now give me some sugar.
- Hey, how's it-
Oh my God, Will, I am so sorry,
oh my God.
- It's okay.
It's fine.
- Did you get any on you?
Oh, no no no.
Drought prevention, right?
Just saving water by
showing in coffee.
- I'll get it.
God, I'm such an idiot.
I'm so sorry.
- It's all right. If I
wasn't such a candy ass,
maybe I wouldn't have jumped
at the sound of your voice.
- If only I had a
nickel for every guy
that jumped at the
sound of my voice.
- Oh yeah?
Well I guess we
gotta communicate
via body language
from now on then.
- That's definitely one
way to do it.
- Or you could just agree not
to sneak up on hapless dudes
with coffee early in
the morning.
- That is probably safer.
Fuck.
- I gotta get to work.
- Yeah, sorry.
- Hey, since you made me spill
my coffee, you better bring
some good beer or something
when you come over for dinner.
- Will do.
- Oh my God.
- No, Claire, no.
You think this is easy for me?
Lisa is good.
Lisa is good.
Don't fuck it up.
- No, I didn't like
her take on it.
- I just felt like she looked
really fat in her skirt.
- I'm sorry, they said
to just come in.
- Of course, please.
- Head shot, resume?
- Yeah, right here.
- Lisa Rybicki.
Polish?
- I'm sorry.
Are you Polish?
- Yeah, my last name is.
- Do you speak it?
- Polish?
- Yes.
- No.
I think my family's been
in the US for generations.
- Who are you repped by, Lisa?
- I'm actually in between
management at the moment.
- All right, Lisa, you'll
be reading with Clio today.
You can start it.
Okay, if you
can start with your name,
the role you're here for
and who you're repped by.
- Hi, Lisa Rybicki, reading
for the role of Gemini.
Self submission, I guess.
And action.
- Fucking idiot.
You're a fucking stupid
piece of shit.
Stupid.
You have no talent.
Everybody hates you, and
you're never gonna be anything.
Lisa is happy.
- Claire?
Claire?
Claire?
Claire? Will?
In winter with warm
tears, I'll melt the snow.
And keep eternal
springtime on my way.
Lisa.
- Hey. Sorry I missed your call.
I was just leaving you a note,
telling you to drop by whenever.
What was so urgent?
- Oh, well, since you're
here, just come in.
I'll tell you all about it.
Okay.
- So last night, I was
submitting my head shots,
through one of the websites
that you showed me.
- Uh-huh.
- And this morning I
got an email
saying they wanna tape audition.
- Oh, that's go great.
- I know!
I mean, it's just an audition.
- No, it's a start.
- I know, right?
Oh my God.
- So what do you need
my help with?
- Okay, this sounds
really stupid,
but I've never had to do a
self-tape audition before.
- Oh, you want me to help
you do your self-tape?
- Well, I mean, I got
this tripod and stuff.
And I could just set
up my phone,
but I was wondering if
you could read with me.
- Yeah.
- I mean, you don't have
to if you don't want to.
It's totally okay.
- Claire, stop, yes, I
am happy to help you.
- I can get Will to do it.
- No, no, I'm happy to help.
- Okay, thanks.
- The Sides? What's the role?
- Yeah.
They did the in-person
auditions today,
but they liked my look enough.
Said just see what I
could do with it.
I'm reading for Gemini.
- Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
You definitely look right for
the role, from what I see.
They want it
tomorrow by five,
so I'm really gonna
have to work my ass off
to learn this tonight.
- Well, I'm gonna let you
get to it then.
And then maybe we can
meet up tomorrow
afternoon to record it.
- Thank you so much.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
Good luck.
- Don't spill your coffee.
It's just me.
- Thanks for the
warning this time.
Hey, I thought one of the
perks of being
an actor was that you
get to sleep in.
What are you doing up so early?
- Stalking you, obviously.
- Well, it happens.
- I'm only human.
No, I do a building
walk-through every morning
just to ensure your
personal safety.
- My personal safety, huh?
- Mm-hm, you ... and every
other tenant in the building.
- Here I was, thinking
I was special.
- Oh no, you are special.
You are.
- Be sure and tell my wife that,
will you?
- She needs some reminding?
- Maybe.
It's nothing.
I think she's just
stressing about this
audition that she's got.
- And?
- And, I might have been a bit
of a selfish asshole last night.
- You, a selfish asshole?
- You tell her I said
that, and I'll kill you.
- Careful, Will, you
don't want me
to have something
like that on you.
- Oh yeah?
Oh yeah.
- Women, incorrigible.
- Aren't we just?
- Anyway, will you help her
do good on this audition
so she's in a good mood
when I come home?
- Anything for you, Champ.
- Careful, might hold
you to that.
- Maybe I'll hold you to that.
- You are trouble.
- Do I look okay?
- Just hang on.
Okay, look at me.
You wanna do a practice one?
- No, let's just go.
- Okay.
- You think this is easy?
Do you think this is
fucking easy for me,
dressing this way and
doing the things
that I have to do every night?
You don't
have to do them.
- Don't I?
No.
- Then who's gonna take care
of you, of us, if I don't?
Who's gonna pay for your
school and put clothes
on your back and food
in your stomach
if I don't go out and
work at night?
You know what I mean.
- No, I don't.
So please, tell me, tell
me how we're gonna survive
without the money that I make.
You could do
something else.
You don't have to do that.
- Don't you tell me
what I have to do,
when all I've known since
Mom and Dad died
is that I have to
take care of you.
Mom and Dad
wouldn't want you
to be a whore, Gemini,
even for me.
- Right, no, you're right.
Maybe ... maybe I'm a whore,
but someday maybe you'll
realize that I only
became a whore so that
you never had to.
Was that okay?
- Shit, sorry, yeah.
- Do we have to do it again?
- No, that was awesome.
- Really?
- Yeah, I mean, you can
do another one
for safety, if you want,
but that was,
that was really good.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
You're good.
Here, come here, come watch.
- Hey!
- Oh my God.
- Got ya, didn't I?
- Good one.
- Oh.
This looks fancy.
What's the occasion?
- We're having Lisa for dinner.
- Interesting, looks
like pasta to me.
- Ah, those are for the hummus.
- Just one.
So?
Still mad at me?
- Depends.
Are you still being a jerk?
- Jerk?
Come, come, you wasp...
- No no, no no no, don't
you try and Shakespeare
your way outta this one with me,
Mister.
- No?
What if I wanna compare
you to a summer's day?
Which is true.
Thou art more lovely
and more fair.
- Words of so sweet breath
composed, but since you
are not Shakespeare,
there's only one word
I need to hear, Will.
- Colostomy?
- Gingerbread, perhaps.
- Better, but no.
- I don't even know
what that means.
- It means,
I'm sorry.
- You're forgiven.
Now go get cleaned up
before she gets here, okay?
Will!
- Just one more.
- Lisa is pretty.
Lisa is pretty.
Lisa is pretty.
- Stop.
Stop.
- No no, no no no, keep going.
I wanna hear about my
superstar in the making wife.
- She was.
I literally felt like there
was a 20-year-old stripper
trying to support her sister,
just standing there in
my apartment.
She's gifted.
Truly.
- Thanks.
But I couldn't have done
it without you.
Here here.
Here's to me banging a
20-year-old stripper tonight.
- Okay, don't be so crass.
- No, here's to the
producers recognizing
true talent when they see it.
- Ah.
- You don't need any more,
either.
- Kill it.
Wine police say I don't
need any more of that.
Love you, babe.
So, Lisa.
What's your story?
What's a hot chick like
you doing rolling...
- Will Winston.
- What? It's a legit question.
- It's okay.
- You don't have to answer that.
- Unless of course you want to.
- You don't.
- It's totally okay.
If you most know Mr. Nosy Pants,
I was with someone recently.
For a little over three years.
- And?
- And, it,
just,
sort of ended.
- Well, you know, I'm
sure you'll meet
the right guy when you're ready.
- Yeah.
- That being said, I
hate to leave you alone
with this one, but nature calls.
- Sorry if I was outta line.
- You're fine.
- Hey, you know what
they say about
getting over somebody, right?
- No, Will, what is it they say?
- The only way to get
over somebody
is to get under somebody else.
- Oh.
I'll keep that in mind.
- Please do.
Just don't tell Claire. She
doesn't have the same kinda
sense of humor about
these things.
- Oh, no.
No need to worry.
I'm good at keeping secrets.
- Hey.
How's my
20-something-year-old stripper?
- Stop.
- Come on, I can think
of a lot better things
to do than read right now.
- You stop it.
- What?
- You know what.
- Are you still upset
about what I asked Lisa?
Seriously?
Claire, she doesn't care.
She doesn't.
- You know, just
because she said that
doesn't mean it's actually
how she feels, Will.
- Claire, you're a sweet girl,
okay,
which is why I love you so much
but not everybody is as
sensitive about shit like you.
I didn't mean to say
it like that.
- What, like an asshole?
- Claire.
Look.
- Seriously, what is
it every time
you get around her anyway?
I mean, the comments and the
innuendos and the flirting,
how do you think that
makes me feel seeing that?
You know, and I know she
doesn't like it.
- Claire, you don't think I'd
actually hurt you, do you?
- I don't know.
- Well, wait a second,
you actually think...
- You know what, you
wait a second.
In fact, why don't you
just go sleep on the couch
since I'm so
sensitive about shit?
- Claire.
Seriously?
Fine.
Fuck it.
- Will.
- Hey.
- Well good morning to you too,
Sunshine.
- Sorry.
How's it going?
- Why the long face?
- It's a long story.
You look like you're up
to something fun
and exciting this morning.
- You have no idea.
Do you think you
could help me move
something in the storage
room really quickly?
Please, it'll only take a
second, I swear.
- Yeah, sure.
- Thanks, you're the best.
Right this way.
Aprez vous.
It's right back there.
Just this one thing.
- What do you want me to do?
- Die.
- Fuck.
Fuck!
I'll fucking kill you.
- Claire?
Manager.
Claire?
Lisa.
- Hey, you are here.
- Yeah, what are you doing here?
- Sorry, official manager stuff.
The apartment above yours
was complaining
about a water leak, so I
just came down to make sure
it wasn't running down your
walls or on your ceiling.
I knocked, but you must
not have heard me.
- Yeah, I was sleeping, but
we haven't had any problems.
- Yeah, looks good.
Anyway, sorry if I woke you up.
Hey, let me know if you
wanna grab coffee
or something later
this afternoon.
- Yeah, maybe.
Okay, take care.
- Wow.
- Character cannot be
developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experience
of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened,
ambition inspired
and success achieved.
Tinseltown Villa Apartments.
This is Lisa, can I help you?
Hey, Claire, what's up?
Okay, okay, wait, slow down.
Okay, yeah, I'll be right up.
Lisa is happy.
Oh my God, are you okay,
what happened?
- Have you seen Will today?
- Yeah, I think I saw him
going out of the front door
when I was in the office
this morning, why?
- The front door?
- Yeah, why, what happened?
What is this?
- Look at it.
It looks like
a credit card statement.
- Yeah, from an account
I've never seen before.
- Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
I'm just confused.
Tell me what happened, honey.
- Last night, Will and I
got in a fight
over something stupid, and I
made him sleep on the couch.
- Okay, that happens sometimes.
- No, it's never
happened with us.
And then I get up this
morning and then, you're here,
but okay, whatever,
fine, and then you leave
and I got my tea and I
checked my email
and I got an email that
I got the part.
- What?
- The role of Gemini, I
got the part.
- Oh my God, Claire, that's
amazing. That's so amazing.
- No, because then I found this.
- I don't understand.
What does that have to do
with you getting the role?
- Don't you see what's on here?
There's lingerie, and
there's jewelry
and then there's
plane tickets too.
- It's okay, it's okay.
- Will just, he found someone
else and he just left me.
- No, Claire, no. That
didn't happen.
Yes he did.
And I've been calling his
cellphone since I found this,
and it doesn't even go
to voicemail.
And I called his office, too,
and they haven't seen him.
And his car's downstairs
but he's not here,
and you said you saw him leave.
- Yeah, but I'm sure
that doesn't mean.
Claire, Claire, Claire.
It's okay.
It's okay, honey.
It's okay.
- I've lost him.
- No, no, Claire. You did not.
If he left, he's the one who's
lost, do you understand me?
Claire, Claire.
You are kind and beautiful
and smart and talented.
A true artist. Anybody
would be lucky to have you.
I'm lucky to have you.
- What do you mean?
- You know what I mean, Claire.
And if he left us together,
it's for a reason.
Claire.
- I think you should go.
Claire.
- I need you to
leave now please.
Claire, don't
deny what you feel.
- Lisa, I don't know what
you're talking about.
- Don't say that, Claire.
- Lisa, I'm sorry, I don't...
- Don't say that.
- Lisa.
- Don't Lisa me.
After everything I've
done for you.
After I let you have the
role of Gemini,
don't you fucking dare.
I gave you a home.
- Lisa, you're scaring me.
- I'm scaring you.
Why?
Because you fear
being truly loved
by somebody who would
never leave you?
Somebody who
recognizes your talent,
somebody who
understands your beauty?
Somebody who is your soulmate.
- Lisa, don't.
- Oh no, no no, no no no, no.
- Why?
- Lisa is lonely.
But you can't help her now.
Lisa is smart.
Lisa can fix this.
Lisa is sad.
Lisa is sad.
Lisa is sad.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Please come quick. Somebody has
been stabbed in my building.
Tinseltown Villa Apartments,
I'm the on-site manager.
Yeah, please come quick.
Now, before we
go any further,
by California law, I do
need to inform you
and have you sign a form
acknowledging that you know
that somebody did die in the
apartment that you're renting
within the last three years.
- Are you serious?
I'm afraid so.
- That's really a law
in California?
Crazy but true.
- How'd they die?
You really wanna know?
Well, they were a young
couple, moved here from Texas
so that she could pursue
acting, much like you wanna do.
And one morning, management
needed to check on a building
issue in their apartment,
and she was lying there,
stabbed in the chest.
- Oh my God.
- Did they know who did it?
They suspect the
husband because he disappeared
the same day, but nobody's
seen him since.
Obviously, this is the first
time anything like this
has ever happened, but I am
required by law to tell you.
- What do you think, honey?
- It's not haunted, is it?
- Not that I know of.
- Hey, everyone dies.
Not everyone can get a
one-bedroom at this price.
Am I right?
You'll have
to forgive him.
- Great, well that's it then.
It's ready to move in
whenever you guys would like.
Oh, I totally forgot to get
you a shower curtain rod.
I'll get that this afternoon,
okay?
Welcome to Tinseltown Villa.