Nuts! (2016) - full transcript

One, two, three.

- Hey!
- Hello, dearest.

Why are you drinking cola again?

Why are you dressed up so formally? Do you have a meeting?

Umm, I am going to Seattle for a meeting.

I want to go with you so badly.

I want to see the Empire State Building with you.

Oh, that's right, dear. I finally was able to

get an interview with a college of science and engineering.

If my interview goes well, I'll apply to visit you in America.

Zhu Zhu, I...



Dear, don't you really want to meet me in person?

We should just break up.

The difference between us is getting bigger and bigger.

Also, the Empire State Building is not in Seattle. It's in New York!

I don't drink cola or eat snacks here in America.

Every day, I'm competing with people with Bachelor and Master degrees.

But you! You haven't even attended a third-rate university.

All you know are dieting, Taobao (online shopping site), and gossips.

I have no interest in everything you like,

but you actually force me to behave like you, all silly and naive.

You should think carefully about these twenty years of your life.

Isn't it true that you were ignorant beforehand but a genius afterwards in everything you did?

Zhu Zhu, I am truly not a person on the same level as you.

[Science & Sensibility]



[MIT: Massachusetts Institute of Technology]

I'm only going to recruit one student this year.

So, why don't you want him?

Huang Jian, the one who came first amongst all of our applicants worldwide,

a widely recognized physics genius!

But don't you think it's strange that he hasn't mentioned any social or community events

that he's participated in, in his application?

I suspect he is not a team player.

Then, you have to go with this guy.

Evidently from this, when a proton and a pion meson collide, a part of the energy and the momentum will disappear.

This shows that during the collision, a new unknown elementary particle is produced.

Its spin is 1/2.

Its half-life is 1,3 microseconds.

I am thinking about naming it BAT,

because I like Batman.

Who wrote that?

Aren't you an idiot?

You want to find a new basic particle. You surely are ambitious.

Your calculation never considered the chance of having inelastic collisions

after integral renormalization in the field theory correction.

If you add this correction, the system can maintain its momentum and mass conservation.

You don't even need your new particle.

Good, good.

Why are you applauding? Did you all really understand?

I feel that for a student, during the course of study,

it's normal to make some mistakes.

Xu Zicong's calculation indeed needs some additional discussion.

No... Of course, your attitude for learning is something that should be encouraged.

But the problem lies with you, Huang Jian.

You shouldn't have said it in that manner to Student Xu Zicong. You must apologize to him.

I'm sorry.

I'm saying sorry not because you are not an idiot,

but because I shouldn't have called you an idiot in front of so many people.

Huang Jian.

You aren't my type.

The gap between our intelligence is just too huge.

If we had a child, his IQ (Intelligence Quotient) would only be higher than average.

I cannot accept that. Even if this hasn't included the variables such as warfare, earthquakes, immigration, etc.

According to the normal calculation, the probability of our divorce is more than 80%.

You should go back first.

And this color of lipstick really doesn't suit you.

Can you not put durian in the fridge?

The second quadrant belongs to me.

But its smell has spread to other quadrants.

Can you control the dispersion of particles? Do you collect your own fart through your inhaling?

I can invent an active carbon underwear that absorbs the smell of farts.

I can help you sell them, and split the profit 30/70.

I get 70%.

- I was the one who spent money to buy this fridge.
- As if you are the only one with money.

Who? Who was downloading porn?

Me. Number SW269, best one of the year and free.

- Watch it.
- What's so great to watch?

Aren't they all the same?

Without these, how will you get through these tough four years?

Can't you just get a girlfriend?

If I were as handsome and rich as you, then, of course, I can,

but I have no money.

I'm just a poor guy. We are destined to just brush past beautiful rich girls.

Not "we," just "you."

No... I see how...

Why do we need a password?

I sent you an email.

With the SHA1 algorithm, put in the name of the domain name of your website, you should receive a 32-bit digit code.

What happened?!

Protective shutdown of the computer system. It turns itself off and comes back on after 12 hours automatically.

Then, what about my code?

You're so insensitive. You deserve this trouble with the social clubs.

There are so many clubs. Can't you just pick one out of them?

MIT is so overboard.

It's not enough to just get good grades. Why do we need experiences with social clubs?

The gap between you and I is only the experience of social clubs.

- We are not accepting you.
- Why?

With you here, we don't get to play.

Isn't Drama Club just about talking? Do I not talk enough?

If you don't study physics well, how can you play ping pong well?

How is "Lost in Thailand" not filmed by Feng Xiaogang?

What's the meaning of this? I wanted one bowl.

This is just the product after the starch compound is disolved. 50 cents for a bowl.

- I'll go to buy some more.
- You just drank the last 20 cents.

Two physics geniuses starve alive to death in a cafeteria.

Weren't you selling my research papers online? Where's the money?

Take a look yourself.

Physics Stud.

So, you came up with this crappy name for me?

Why didn't you just say that I'm a beggar next to the repair shop?

I know you are the only physics student in the Eastern hemisphere who understands the physics behind the eleventh dimension.

But also...

The topics of the nine research paper topics I gave you three months ago, you didn't write a single one for me.

I spent all these efforts to earn two diamonds and you totally wasted them.

I am telling you that I can't think about this because my heart aches whenever I do.

I wasn't in the mood and didn't want to write anymore.

Change it! Change it! Change the name!

There's a dinner hosted by a foreign expert, with a sumptuous buffet.

Even though I don't have an invitation, I however have a way.

[Cosmos and Particles Astrophysics Seminar]

Hi, there.

On the Tibetan Plateau,

we installed a set of sub-millimeter wavelength radio telescopes.

We intend to use different wavelengths

to see how many stars and molecular clouds there are in the universe

which cannot be seen with the visible light.

It's possible that these celestial objects are the dark matters that we are unable to observe.

Your professor is...

I'm going to MIT after graduation. My adviser is Professor Zwiebach.

This professor is very picky about his students.

He only accepts one this year.

Your answer regarding the dark matters cannot explain the issue that the galaxy density is too low.

There is, however, another hypothesis. Dark matters consist of very light particles

that, under the conditions of Albert Einstein's pulsar, propagate in the universe.

I know that hypothesis.

Its estimated of galaxy densities consists with observation.

According to computer simulations, the relationship between the galaxy mass and huge black hole can be explained.

Even the waiters here are this knowledgeable? Are they still in school, too?

I'm going to MIT after I graduate. My adviser is Barton Zwiebach.

He's very picky about his students. He only accepts one this year.

Do you understand the concept of collision? It's very interesting. In terms of speed, you need some distance.

That's right, distance. For example, on top of the Empire State Building,

an object is dropped. After a long period of time,

- a certain movement—
- Why is the Empire State Building in "Sleepless in Seattle"*?
(*A rom-com movie starred by Tom Hanks in 1993.)

Why do you have to compete with me on everything?

What did I compete with you?

Why must you apply to the same adviser as me?

I looked for Professor Barton Zwiebach because I want to research with him about theories on the interaction between different strings,

while you only did it because of his fame.

If there is only one person that can go to MIT, it must be me.

If it is to research about bragging, I would surely recommend you, too.

It's warm.

Waiter, can you pour me some orange juice?

Okay. I'll go right away.

- Thanks.
- You are welcome.

- He's not a waiter. He's a theoretical physicist from MIT.
- Oh.....

If a person kept saying "oh" for 7 seconds, it means she didn't understand anything.

- What is MIT?
- Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

- Massachusetts Institute of Technology? Where is it?
- In the U.S.

The U.S. is a country.

That's right.

This girl doesn't even know what MIT is. She probably thinks that the Empire State Building is in Seattle.

It's freshly squeezed.

You should expand your circle of friends.

My circle of friends is huge. I have three good friends.

But they won't be able to help you get in any club.

Although you said that even if my brain were to get smashed by an apple, I wouldn't be able to become Newton,

I still recommended you. But MIT isn't as smart as me.

Since what MIT likes about me is my genius brain,

why then must they make me waste them in club activities?

But a brain that couldn't even solve your issue with club activities, how ingenious can it be?

Professor Zwiebach has accepted several Asian students in the past, and each of them was outstandingly smart.

But because they are just good at doing things by themselves,

not knowing how to work with others, in the end, they were not successful in becoming someone with great achievements.

When top tier universities in the world recruit students now,

they request that he be good in both academics and social abilities. Although Xu Zicong is inferior to you in academics,

his interpersonal skills with his teacher and classmate, in homosexual and heterosexual relationships, are all superior to you.

It was sent by an American student of mine from the U.S. Leave me some, okay?

Once I get to the U.S., I will mail them to you in boxes.

No, by then...

Stop.

Have you ever thought of joining a sports club?

Try to imagine it.

I will never allow a barbarian to touch me.

When you punch, if you can thrust your back foot against the ground, increasing the momentum of your whole body,

this can increase the power of your fist by around 27%.

Just like this... just like this.

[Fighting!]

Can I join the boxing club now?

Why?

You, jerk!

We just want to beat you up.

- Editor-in-chief.
- Are you brokenhearted?

That's good then.

Stand up! That was an upscale party full of beautiful women.

You instead interviewed a bunch of nerdy physicists!

Editor-in-chief, it wasn't all my fault.

But that night, only that party had lights. How then could I get any scoop?

- How is my appearance?
- Nothing special.

I never hit on beautiful women.

What do I do then to use news media to promote a social app?

I conceived an idea of a female college student,

born in '95, in the prime time of her life,

- with numerous suitors—
- For real?
- Fictitious.

She posts in a blog online and use her body to travel.

In a stark night, she is surrounded by a group of men. They all are competing to state their names,

but there is only one woman. While surrounded,

she pulls out her cell phone and clicks on an APP.

Everyone can get in line to get a number. I will post the pictures of her getting surrounded.

I am 99,9% sure that no one will be interested with that female college student getting surrounded.

No one will also be interested in how adorable this woman is.

What they are concerned about is if this APP can get them women or not!

Do you know?

I should go to study the APP.

Truth is not the main point of news,

but on how you grab it.

- That who... go and continue to—
- Editor-in-Chief, my name is Zhu Zhu.

Go then, Zhu Zhu*.
(*The 'zhu' he used here meant pig, used to describe dumb people.)

Editor-in-Chief, why must you send me to the university?

Because, you're the only one who is not a college graduate here in the company.

You don't have any feelings for it.

Drink.

In our office, everyone looks down on me.

They only look for me when they want to get a refund from the Taobao website.

They don't even know what my name is.

Do you know what the highest peak is in this world?

- Mount Everest.
- And the second highest?

I don't know.

Everyone can only remember the highest peak; hence,

you must become that best one.

I understand. I have to become the top merchandise on Taobao.

I must make all the people in the office look at me under a different light,

and then save up enough money to go to the U.S.

This way, I can look for that jerk and kill him.

Okay.

I'm a reporter for the school paper. Have you ever been in the men's room?

- No.
- Have you ever watched porn?

- If someone asks, no.
- Have you ever liked someone of the same gender?

- My sexual orientation is pretty conventional.
- No.

- Have you ever considered a plastic surgery?
- Yes.

What do you want to fix? Do you have any idols you follow? Have you ever fallen for a teacher in secret?

Excuse me. Do you major in Computer Science?

Are you a hacker?

I've already hacked the network in the school cafeteria.

Do you believe that a delicious lunch will be put in front of me?

- Dad.
- How many times have I told you?

Stop playing on your computer when you eat.

Whether it's physics or mathematics,

we'll run into function.

We have some interactions with dual functions in high school;

but in college, the problem has a new solution.

The solution is...

36C.

Are you blind?

But in college, the problem has a new solution.

The solution is 36C.

If even the calligraphy club beats you up like this,

it appears that everyone's animosity for you far exceeds my expectation.

It's Xu Zicong's ploy.

Do you think you don't need to use your brain to join a club?

Wait.

Toss another.

The spring in the north is arid.

The viscosity of air decreases while the Reynold's number increases.

Additionally, an outdoor basketball court is easily affected by the speed of the wind,

so the basketball should not be over-inflated.

I can also explain a bit about controlling the speed and angle of your shooting.

Welcome to the team.

I'll retrieve it!

Sorry. Sorry about that.

You again? Are you blind?!

You were in the way of my ball. The ball I tossed, under the influence of gravity,

at an acceleration of 9,8067 would have created a perfect arc, but was blocked by your face.

- Don't you know it hurts?
- Have you ever seen a basketball hoop say it hurts?

Your face and a basketball hoop are essentially the same,

in that they're both formed by fundamental particles.

Wait a minute.

Your basketball.

Thank you.

Does it hurt? Your particles?

Sorry.

Damsel is a special historical label reserved for well-bred young ladies.

Her manners were dignified and her speech elegant.

Before marriage, she was the pride of her parents.

After marriage, she was the dignity of her husband.

Why are you so late? Quickly, take a seat.

A present-day damsel is an enchantress to parties.

In the workplace, she's Hillary.

Back at home, she can do the laundry and mop the floor,

as well as be a sexy mommy.

Wonderful.

Okay.

Stop.

I hope that everyone can learn from student Jin Yuanyuan.

Whether it's appearance, speech, or elegance.

she comes closest to featuring the characteristics of a damsel.

Not at all. It's all thanks to your teaching.

You're not from our school, right?

I'm an intern with the school paper.

Our club doesn't allow smoking.

What kind of club is this?

The Damsel Society.

No wonder you have such a good temperament. You even smoke so beautifully.

If you want my photo, just ask me directly.

But don't you dare take a photo without my permission.

I think the teacher seemed quite amazing.

Teacher? Wu Jiali?

Her entire body gives off the scent of a spinster.

She even created the Damsel Society.

But so what? She's still single.

She's better off just going back to her position as a professor of electromagnetism.

Then, why did you join?

I have to marry into a rich and powerful family later.

Those families are full of back-stabbing fights.

I must take advantage of this opportunity to get some free lessons,

and train myself into a beautiful but indestructible female warrior.

Then, I will be able to handle those ordinary trivial matters like

home-wrecking mistresses, or cheating best friends.

I will grab a man's heart and take his money, so that I can become the elite class myself.

[Female Engineering student mimics her model. How to achieve business success in an ivory tower!]

[Reporter: Headache Curing Feet]

Pass the ball. Pass the ball!

Nice!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

2, 2, 3, 4.

Zicong, why didn't you respond to my text yesterday?

I have been too busy lately. Sorry.

Pick one. Jin Yuanyuan.

Sexy, pretty, but doesn't have the best temper.

Although Hou Li's a bit plump,

has a fully developed body. With your brotherhood, I will let you pick first. I will choose Hou Li and leave Jin Yuanyuan to you. How about it?

Okay.

Well, I'm quite satisfied with the matching results. I wonder if they'll feel the same.

It'd be strange if they agreed, you pervert.

5, 6, 7, 8.

What's that?

Voice imitation device.

Classmate, you really don't need to lose weight.

You need to mutate.

- Get up.
- No way. Again?

No, no. Don't listen to her. Actually, your figure's pretty good.

Hello, everyone. My name is Huang Jian.

Yesterday, I lowered myself and joined the basketball team.

They asked me why I didn't join earlier. Hahaha...

I can't help but to look up and sigh to the sky. They are all wearing the same jersey of number 84,

hopping up and down like gorillas in the virgin forest.

just for a hollow sphere with a circumference of 75 centimeters,

they run, shout, jump, and stumble, having fun like some animals' sporting meets.

However, for my lofty MIT,

I still act like a gorilla in all seriousness with them.

I train every day on how to smash the ball, and the ball smashes back at me.

The ball smashes back at me?

No, the ball smashes back at your little sister.

Who do you think you are?

A bit short-tempered?

Go to apologize. Maybe there is still a chance.

No.

Why is the smell still there?

Maybe, only you who understands the Superstring Theory here in school,

but MIT doesn't need a student like you.

The application for school clubs will end tonight.

If you are still unable to resolve it by then, you have no chance to go to MIT anymore.

Hello.

I know...

What happened to Professor Wu Jiali's club?

[Oddball in Science and Engineering: Damsel Club]

[Damsel Club]

[Basketball Club - X]

[Chess Club - X]

[Movie Club - X]

[Calligraphy Club -X]

[Damsel Society - Yes]

[MIT]

[Public morals are degenerating with each passing day. It is incurable. A university has become a training ground for courtesans.]

Who is so despicable? How dare she actually write about us this way?!

Indeed. All are nonsense. There must be a spy among us.

- She actually said that we were all materialistic girls.
- Is there anything wrong with being materialistic?

Is there anything wrong?!

Stop fighting!

Let me ask everyone...

who said those words?

I think the most important problem is

finding out who wrote that article.

Is that important?

The reason for me to establish the Damsel Club

was to train you to have qualities of class,

elegance and self-confidence.

It's not to train you on how to marry a rich man.

Who does not want to marry a rich man?

- What?
- Nothing.

Student Jin Yuanyuan, you are still as student.

How can you have such thoughts?

I just don't want to be self-deceiving, Professor.

- Actually, I—
- Don't talk!

Fine. Listen to my words next.

Those who want to marry a rich man, please raise your hand.

Fine. You all know my purpose of establishing the Damsel Club.

Since you do not belong here, please leave then.

Leave this place. The door is over there. You all just go.

They all have left.

Thanks.

Xu Zicong, how could you use my invention to frame Huang Jian?

It was just a joke.

Who said that it was a joke?

It is none of your business.

But Huang Jian will surely come to seek revenge.

Impossible.

He's here!

It has nothing to do with me!

Professor.

You still have us.

Do you all want to stay?

But the school has rules.

To form a club, there must be at least four members.

- There is just—
- Me too! I'm joining the Damsel Club.

No, we only accept women.

Then, why is she here?

That is called androgynous beauty, okay?

The instructions for the application stated that you accept women, but it didn't state that you don't accept men.

It definitely won't do.

- No...
- That's right... Definitely, no.

Huang Jian, what are you doing? What trouble are you trying to cause? Why are you joining the Damsel Club?

I discovered a folder on your computer.

It is full of pictures of Professor Wu Jiali.

Impossible. I've encrypted it with a password.

When has a password stopped me before? Think about it.

Huang Jian, you're blackmailing me. You...

Professor Wu!

This person is so arrogant that he looks down on everyone else,

but he has the heart of a woman.

Hence, please accept him, really.

- That still won't do.
- Hi!

Fine.

I'm a member of the Damsel club now.

Professor Wu, I must in all sincerity express to you my gratitude.

A moment ago, I only saved a club, but you saved the entire field of physics.

You're welcome...

Editor-in-Chief.

Come in.

Sit.

Thank you, Editor-in-Chief.

- Were you the one who wrote that article on the Damsel Club?
- I did it for fun.

You are called "Headache Curing the Feet?"

My name is Zhu Zhu. That is my pen name.

The number of comments and likes...

are both the top in our company for this month. Congratulations.

I brought you a gift.

I don't know whether you will like it.

Don't like it?

Editor-in-Chief, this is the gift I gave you when you got married.

You must grab onto this opening in Damsel Society tightly.

But I've already shown my face in school.

What if someone recognized me?

This is the student identification I made for you. From now on, you are a student of the Science and Engineering School.

You have the body but no brain; perfect in dealing with those science nerds.

I want you to go to Damsel Society again to dig deep, uncovering all the dirt in their minds.

Yes, Editor-in-Chief.

I really enjoy studying the inner mind, but I want a raise after this report.

I like greedy people.

Awesome!

This is so much better!

- So great!
- Look at that.

Can we really practice here?

Of course.

Thank you so much, Sister Yuan.

Zicong, thank you so much for this.

In the future, this place belongs to you all.

Also, you can form your own club.

That's right. We are the real damsels.

No. Debutante, instead.

On the day of the Community Reporting Show, you have to make the Damsel Society, this oddball, disband on its own.

I know what you're worried about.

I also know you need my help.

Don't worry. I'll make sure that those four won't even dare to stand up on stage.

Parents give the women their first face.

Cosmetics are the second face that God has given to women.

A woman cannot leave the house without makeup.

Carrying your makeup with you at all times just like your gun.

Your makeup must hit the right balance and enhance the original.

The high heels are the second characteristics for the female gender.

If you don't wear high heels,

you're a girl, not a woman.

High heels allow you walk like the willow swaying in the breeze,

or like a flower dangling over the pond, showing the true essence of a damsel.

Chin up, stomach in,

chest out, and buttock tight.

Five...

...appearance natural, breathing even.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Yoga can strengthen the function of women's ovaries.

Raising your leg can eliminate the swelling of your thighs during your menstrual cycles.

Propping yourself can help the growth of your chest.

The flexibility of your body can reduce the time needed for child birth,

reducing the pain during the delivery.

Professor Jiali, someone is here for you.

All right, I'm coming.

Xiao You, you should lead the group.

Xiao You? Xiao You?

Hurry. Help her up.

- Xiao You, Xiao You.
- Xiao You, what happened to you?

Huang Jian! Huang Jian!

Hurry and take her to the health office!

Do you want me to carry someone of more than 200 kilograms? This is so unscientific.

Be careful!

Ah...no!

This can't be right.

We're not on the moon, where the weight is only 1/6 of that on Earth. l deal with physics, not weightlifting.

How about this? I'll go to the health office and find someone to carry you. Okay? It's settled, then.

Xiao You! Xiao You!

Xiao You! Wake up, Xiao You!

Open this.

Open her mouth.

Come on. Drink some.

Take a bite, Xiao You.

Her blood sugar is too low because of an excessive diet. I used to be like this often.

She will be all right after getting some sugar.

Xiao You.

Thank you.

What?

I want to join the Damsel Society.

- Which department are you from?
- Journalism.

I see you're wearing all blue, so I thought you must be on the basketball team. (blue - "lan", basketball - "lan qiu")

I think you are.

Why are there only the four of you?

You can ask them.

Why does a man like you want to join a woman's club?

- What does that have to do with you?
- Of course, it does.

I also want to join.

I don't agree. They also will not agree, either.

I agree. And you, Ji Ran?

Ji Ran, you are not permitted to raise your hand.

Did you really join a woman's club?

All grandfathers start out as grandsons (Idiom: Everything starts somewhere). Don't make a fuss over this.

Your chest appears to have grown larger.

You are the one to talk!

Is MIT that important? For how long are you going to fight with Xu Zicong?

How can there be two tigers in the same mountain? Unless one is male and the other female.

Beauty, you're missing a pair of high heels.

Look at how he is dressed.

Can't be!

Thank you, my dear.

The subject we will practice today is

how to invite this self-centered man on stage

to come to your party.

Hey, there's a party tonight. Do you want to come?

You may have seven hamburgers to eat if you come to our party.

You may have mine as well.

I hope you can also come.

I'm not going.

You don't need to go, either. I will take you to a movie.

Okay.

- I can give you RMB¥200.
- I can sell you my thesis paper at a discount.

At the bar of our party,

there is a nuclear reactor.

Are you really not coming?

What time?

And the nuclear reactor?

We will dance "The Four Swans."

I won't dance. I'll definitely fall.

How about Li Si? She can sing.

- Never.
- We are only ugly ducklings.

Then let's dance "The Four Ugly Ducklings."

Why do you get entangled with a girl?

It's my fault to naively believe that mankind has already invented

the nuclear fission power source for an everyday household.

Jack, one glass of cola, please.

His name is Huang Jian. He's a genius.

Ever since he was young, he only gets first place in all tests.

When I was in the second grade, I got second place once.

Genius, why do people only remember the names of those who get first place?

- Why?
- Do you know where the highest peak is in the world?

Mt. Everest, 8848 meters.

But how about the second?

K2 (Chhogori), 8611 meters.

-The third?
- Kanchenjunga, 8586 meters.

- The fourth.
- Lhotse, 8516 meters.

-The fifth highest is–
- I'm sorry.

- I need to use the bathroom.
- Huh?

The fifth highest peak is Makalu.

Why?

You haven't explained why people only remember the names of the first place.

The Community Reporting Show starts now.

[Beijing Science and Engineering School 2015 Community Reporting Show]

Hey!

Hi!

Are you going to go on stage later?

Today, I'm in charge of monitoring the venue.

Professor Wu is not bad.

Professor Wu is single. That man with the wretched mustache wanted to ask her out, but she turned him down.

Besides teaching us in her class,

she spends the rest of her time to take care of her pet, Atika.

Are you not going to go over there to give them some words of encouragement?

For them to go on stage is already a victory.

I have a classmate who is studying Nutrition in Wageningen University.

I heard they are doing research on a dog food that is

especially good for an Akita dog.

I have a cat. Its name is...

Akita.

Bravo!

Many thanks for the exciting show by the Debutante Society.

Now, let's welcome the Damsel Society on stage.

What's the situation now?

- I can't.
- Come on.

No, no, no. I really can't.

Come on. Get ready.

Okay, begin.

- It's okay. No worries.
- Get off! Get down!

Boo!

Boo!

Bravo!

Good!

Bravo!

Bravo! Good!

Good!

Today, we weren't looking for elegance,

but rather wildness.

Begin. One. Two.

Three! Four.

Five.

Last one. Ten!

For those students who are dieting, please pay attention.

Professor, we need to eat to have energy to diet.

What is the next goal we are to achieve? Attention! Attention!

There is still the style competition awaiting us.

Thank you.

- Shen Dong.
- Why are you eating from my bowl?
- Who is it?

A bothersome person.

It must be your boyfriend, right?

I'll just continue eating.

Ex-boyfriend.

Stupid.

Why did the two of you break up?

The more you two eat, the thinner you'll be. We'll have this to drink...

In the beginning when we were together, we learned that the both of us really liked to eat hotpot

and we would tease each other for being foodies.

- But not long afterwards...
- Huang Jian, eat up.

...we grew further apart.

He kept on reprimanding me for only knowing how to eat.

Well, you can't change that your are a foodie.

Today, all of us will accompany you to be a foodie.

That, um, at a food event with the theme of celebration,

based on our tradition, shouldn't we give a toast?

For our style competition! Cheers!

Do you want to join us for the meal?

Huang Jian.

How can you be interested in hot pot after that horrible dance?

I thought we danced pretty well.

Did you go on stage for yourself or for the Damsel Society?

He did it so that he could play with the ribbon (to have fun).

Being with these oddballs is just a temporary compromise.

Every wasted minute will only delay your great discovery in physics.

You said this, didn't you?

Didn't you also say that

Wu Jiali can only breed offspring with mitosis,

and use so-called Damsel Society to numb her own realization of the fleeting years.

If Professor Barton Zwiebach from MIT asked you the same question,

would you also deny?

That's right. I have said those words,

but that was what I used to think.

I don't think like this anymore.

Do you think you are still a man?

Swear on your conscious whether you still deserve to go to MIT?

Huang Jian! Don't fight!

Did you two ever fight when you were a kid? You can't really have a fight when hugging together like that.

- Hey!
- Kick his butt.

- Stop fighting!
- Kick him. Stand up.

Kick him!

- Hey.
- Again.

- Aiya!
- Don't bite me!

- Bros, stop fighting!
- Fighting, Huang Jian!

Fighting, Huang Jian!

Are you done fighting?

- The conditions here are too poor. There isn't even a monitoring system.
- Mom.

Who takes responsibility for my son's health?

This is the infirmary, not your house.

Mom, don't say anything anymore.

Your dad said this before. Studying physics will make you go insane one day.

He's not even my biological father. I don't need him to worry about my study in physics.

Would you be where you are today without his money?

Hey, you!

- Editor-in-Chief.
- Not you. Sit down.

I never thought you would...

Look. You didn't find material among the beautiful women,

but instead, you managed to become a member of these oddballs.

I did see something in you.

I heard you also performed with them. How about it? Were you able to find any dirt?

Editor-in-Chief, what dirt?

They are a bunch of really nice girls and guys.

Um, you.

Do you know what is a good online tabloid?

Eight words: Find something among none. Create rumor from nothing.

Actually, I think you should learn from this classic adage on tabloid news.

But Editor-in-Chief–

I give you three days to hand me back a report.

Dear, keep it up!

Look at how well this fits you.

Look at yourself. See how pretty you are.

I know you want to join us. But right now, I need your help.

I want you to give the training plan of the Damsel Society for the style competition

to me.

Nurse.

Nurse!

Nurse! I want to go to the bathroom!

My biological father is a physics teacher,

so I've liked physics ever since I was little.

- My dad also works with physics.
- Is he a teacher?

An auto mechanic.

So, I set my goal to become a physicist since I was young.

The most handsome physicist?

No, the best.

Better than you.

Can you help me?

What?

Help me pull down my zipper.

No way.

I can only rely on you.

I...

You have to bring it out.

Teacher Wu left in frustration, and the society is about to be disbanded.

Huang Jian is not coming back anymore.

He should come back. Don't worry.

Right now, this is the training venue for the Debutante Society. Are you here to take a tour?

What do you mean?

In the Community Reporting performance, you took last place.

Even Wu Jiali gave up on you.

What does this have to do with you?

Wu Jiali took an extended leave of absence.

Who doesn't know that she left because of you bunch of useless characters?

Before she left, she told me

that if someone comes to steal our venue,

I must not be lenient.

Our sisters here in the Debutante Society

will never engage in a physical fight.

About this place, it's ours for sure.

You're just someone who came out of nowhere.

Other than bootlicking me, what else can you do?

And you.

A gal who has a mouthful of steel teeth.

I can't tell which direction you turn when you kiss a guy.

You–

And this person right next to you, Yang Guifei.
(Yang Guifei: Legendary beauty known for her full-figure)

I really don't know if we have another Tang Emperor Ming with enough strength to hold her.

Nonsense!

Choose for yourself. Do you want to wait for me to post your picture on the web or

you prefer to disappear now, Twisted Nose?

Huang Jian! You're back!

If I didn't come back, wouldn't you be the next one to get plastic surgery? Aiya, it's broken. It's broken.

- It's broken.
- Let's get an ice pack, ice pack.

Brother Jian. "Theory on the imaging principle via gravity in interstellar time traveling."

Next.

"How to learn graphic design from the cover of Japanese AV magazines."

Next.

Can you really do this?

Next.

You don't have anything, so why...

Do you have a girl (crush)?

Nonsense. How is that possible?

You definitely have a girl.

No.

Tell me. I promise I won't tell anyone.

What's the matter with him?

Huang Jian! Congratulations.

In order to chase a girl, you must buy her the best food. Fighting!

Say what?

When I was 16, a person who was courting me took me out for a movie.

- I only remember him asking me if I ever tried a popcorn kiss.
- What do you mean?

- You can try it out.
- What?

A young couple is a companion to each other in old age.

Young lad, treasure well your love.

Treasure it, child.

Big brother, it really wasn't me who leaked it.

- Then, how did they know?
- Be gentle.

Now, what should I do?

You can go to her house.

If you can go to her house,

and if she asks you to go to the convenience store, then there will be something more.

- Why?
- Why?
- Why?

Going to the convenience store means she wants you to buy condoms.

[Fried Tripe]

- Huang Jian.
- Hey!

- Zhu Zhu. I mean, what a coincidence.
- Why are you here?

I've compiled the statistics of all your pictures on your WeChat page.

There are a total of 214 pictures starting from May 24, 2014.

In those pictures, 48 were that of eating and, of those, 32 were of you eating Ma La Bao Du (hot and numbing stir-fried tripe).

Why were you studying my page of online friends?

This isn't called studying. It's just common statistics compilation.

Have you eaten yet?

Boss, add another pair of chopsticks.

Sure thing.

- Some beer?
- I quit drinking after the fight last time.

- Just a little.
- Fine.

How can you possibly eat such spicy food? It's so spicy that brain cells would be burned to death.

I'm already dumb. Why should I be afraid?

Zhu Zhu, you're not dumb. Even if you are, that's all right.

That's why there are men like me! That's the reason for the idea of men and women complementing each other.

Come! Stand up here.

Yes, that's right.

Alright, don't move!

Good. Hold that position.

Ready. Good. Let's get another one.

Good. Very good.

Not bad, not bad. It's good.

So beautiful!

Zhu Zhu, have you tried

a kiss with the flavor of hot and numbing stir-fried tripe?

- Huh? What did you say?
- ...hot and numbing stir-fried tripe

Sure, we'll have it another time.

Now, I have to go home.

Bye.

Zhu Zhu...

I forgot to give you this last time.

Thanks!

Then, I'll be going.

My... My internet is broken at home.

Can you tell me how to fix it?

That depends on what's wrong with it.

If it's a problem with the IP address, you have to input 'ipconfig' on the command line

and then change the default gateway and IP address—

Forget it. I'll just find someone to fix it for me.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Why don't you help me fix it?
- Why don't I help you fix it?

Don't touch that flower pot. If that door closes, we won't be able to open it again.

- Have a seat.
- Okay.

- Let me take a look at your computer.
- Yeah, sure.

What's your Wi-Fi password?

"I like you."

"I like you" in pinyin.

I'll pour you a drink.

There's nothing left to drink. Can you go to the convenience store to buy another bottle?

- Do you want me to go to the convenience store?
- Yes.

Do you really want me to go to the convenience store?
- Yes.

- Plastic bag?
- No, thanks.

Hello, your total is ¥70.

- Let's make it a round number.
- That'll be ¥100.

Why are you knocking so late at night? I will beat you up if you continue your knocking.

You're deliberating about the question when a proton collides with a pion particle.

If you don't consider their exchange of momentum as part of the complete integral amount,

but rather as a sum of limited micro-fragments,

it can then resolve the question of the discrepancy in the conservation of momentum.

This way, we can confine the momentum within a finite value.

Wait. If we do that,

I want to start this process of renormalization at this point,

then we don't need this extraneous assumption.

It makes sense.

Doing it this way, the result will be the same,

but the number of calculations can be cut in half.

I am leaving.

Wait.

You guys, be careful. Jin Yuanyuan's using Li Si.

I keep calling her, but she doesn't pick up.

Her friends all blocked us.

I'm sure the truth is in there.

There's so little time left. How are we supposed to rehearse a new program?

What do we do now? What do we do?

For as long as I can remember,

everyone's called me a tomboy.

No one treated me like a girl. But just like other girls,

I wanted to be pretty; to have a boyfriend.

Jin Yuanyuan said she could help me,

and I let her words get to my head.

- I listened to her and sold out my friends.
- Look, how pretty you are.

Now, I have nothing.

Tomorrow, I'm going to greet

the arrival of my 22nd birthday all alone.

I got it.

Jin Yuanyuan, can you please return the documents about the Damsel Society? I don't want to betray my friends.

It's too late. You've already betrayed them.

♫ Child ♫

♫ No need to be afraid ♫

♫ After all, you've not grown up yet ♫

Ha...

ppy...

Birth...

day...

to...

you!

♪ Happy Birthday To You! Happy Birthday To You! ♪

♪ Happy Birthday To You! Happy Birthday To You! ♪

Blow out the candle.

♪ I've met a lot of good friends here ♪

Have you really forgiven me?

We know it was Jin Yuanyuan trying to create trouble.

Actually, I'm still a little angry.

You should buy her seven hamburgers.

If it were Huang Jian, we wouldn't forgive him.

- Oh no, I've thought of a new idea.
- You want to wear that pink dress again?

♪ But so cute ♪

♪ Xiaoyou, Xiaoyou, You You ♪

♪ Don't underestimate Xiaoyou ♪

♪ She can throw you down ♪

The Damsel Society has finally been revived.

Professor Zwiebach is going on an academic visit in Hong Kong next week.

Professor Duan wants to take me along to meet him.

What do you mean?

If he accepts me,

that will mean my advanced admission notification.

Congratulations! Your dream's finally coming true!

But if I go to Hong Kong, I'll miss the style competition.

What do you think I should pick?

Aren't you the top student? Why are you asking me to pick?

As a top student, I never pick the wrong answer on a multiple choice question. I have a very high accuracy.

But just this once...

As a poor student, when it comes to multiple choice questions,

I never picked the right answer. The Damsel Society wasn't my own choice.

But this time, I think I made the right decision.

- You have to listen to your heart on this one.
- I have to listen to my heart on this one.

Going to MIT is your dream.

Xiao You and the others will definitely understand.

but understanding is one thing. It would be a lie to say they wouldn't be sad.

Will you be sad?

I'm an Aquarius. I only care about people's appearances.

Don't change the subject.

You're not handsome enough for me to get on my knees to beg you.

- Do you want to eat hot and numbing stir-fried tripe?
- Get lost.

You've thought it through, right?

If Xu Zicong goes to Hong Kong, you may never get the chance again to go to MIT.

I'm recommending Xu Zicong

because he's the only person in this school who can become my rival.

And also, he's really worked hard.

It can't be that you don't want to leave that person, right?

Who?

Who? You think I don't know.

How are you with Professor Wu?

Not well. She doesn't like me.

Are you crazy?

If she didn't like you, would I have been able to join the Damsel Society?

Wait a minute.

Hello.

No wonder Zhu Zhu looked so familiar. She's not a student. She's a reporter.

She interviewed me at a seminar before.

This girl...

She infiltrated the school.

I'm afraid the Damsel Society won't be able to survive now.

It caused too much damage to the school's reputation.

[Author Introduction / Pseudonym: Headache Curing Feet / Name: Zhu Zhu / "Seven Weekly" Intern]

How dare you use my name to write these things?

The click-rate is so high right now. You should be thanking me.

What right do you have to release my photo online?

If someone hadn't tipped me off with the crap articles you wrote,

- my company would have already gone under.
- Who was it?

I can't say.

The only request was using your name and picture.

You sold me out?

Don't make it sound so bad. Business is business.

Is this the journalism department?

Let me explain.

For all my life,

I never really had a sense of existence.

And I didn't have any strong opinions.

But this time, I'm certain

that Zhu Zhu didn't write that article.

Huang Jian,

I like you.

I should have said that to you

when I confessed to you the first time.

This is unsuitable.

But I wasn't brave enough.

By joining the Damsel Society,

I wanted to make myself a better person.

I thought that you might not reject me then,

but I realized that it was already too late.

You liked someone else.

These are two particles in resonance with the spin of a quark.

If they're far apart, they attract each other.

If they're too close, they repel each other.

This kid fell in love with you. This is a confession of a student from the science and engineering school.

One, two, three.

Did you write this article?

Yes.

Isn't this what you wanted?

- Hey. What are you doing?
- How many times have I told you? My name is Zhu Zhu.

Hey, I am telling you not to do anything illegal.

What are you doing?!

Is this illegal?

Aiyo!

- Tell me what you think you did to me.
- Aiyo.

- Hello?
- Xiao You, Zhu Zhu didn't write that article.

I can't get through to Huang Jian's phone. He kicked us out last night

and spent the whole night with Qi Ran.

Huang Jian and Qi Ran spent the night together?

Zhu Zhu's at the school. She looks as if she is going to kill someone.

Okay, I'll be there right away. I'm leaving.

Wait a minute. I'll be right there.

Huang Jian, open up!

Ah! Zhu Zhu's going to murder someone?

Zhu Zhu, what are you doing here?

Hey... You're looking for Huang Jian? He's not here!

Huang Jian, open up! Huang Jian!

Who are you looking for?

Look at that person. What's he doing climbing up so high?

- Yeah, what's the matter with him?
- I don't know.

Come on. I will help you find him.

- I just want to talk to him.
- Stop her!

Why are you blocking my way?

Really. There's no point going now.

Don't go. Don't go.

- It's really messy.
- I just want to see him!

Huang Jian's not here?

Sorry for intruding.

You two look good together.

I did write the first article.

I didn't understand anything,

so I thought

I could take some of their jokes

as material for work.

But I really didn't write the second article.

I wanted to write a different article.

I wanted to show everyone

what they are in their truest essence.

Xiaoyou, Li Si, Qi Ran.

They're my friends,

my sisters.

How could I write something like that slandering them?

Also, Huang Jian.

He's such a fool.

He's so cute.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

I'll disappear.

[This is our performance. Hope you can make it.]

I was alone and didn't care what others said about me.

You... How about me?

- What is this?
- You're better trained for another lifetime to become an idol.

- What happened to Zhu Zhu?
- You'd better forget about her.

I won't go overseas to study...

What you talked about was the conventional wisdom...

Zhu Zhu is a very special person.

Hey, you are just an ugly duckling.

Actually, she is just slow.

- Bravo!
- Today, we together

will eat until morning.

You got some good hearing...

About hot and numbing stir-fried tripe...

Let's eat together next time.

You must not do that.

Look at me....

He has trouble walking.

So, do you have any way to do this?

These are just the basic moves.

I'm great in make-up.

- Don't you know that fat people are very meticulous? Your face is too big. I don't have enough foundation.
- English-Korean and imperial style.

All famous celebrities like to do this kind of makeup, the V-face nude style.

Xu Zicong, aren't you going to Hong Kong today?

I could go without Huang Jian? They'll say I took unfair advantage of him later.

In the end, who will represent our school

to participate in the national style competition?

Let us wait and see. Welcome to the stage from the Debutante Society.

♫ I'm Julius ♫

♫ We gonna introduce SKG ♫

♫ Sparkling Girls! ♫

♪ Girl, say goodbye to the tragic female lead ♪

♪ Make his lies disappear from the real world ♪

♪ Girl, put on those crystal high-heels ♪

♪ Step on the fairy tales and take hold of your love ♪

♪ So why ♪
♪ Don't let someone rule over me ♪

♪ So, so, so right ♪
♪ Show off your charms ♪

♪ Sparkling girl, sparkling girl ♪

♪ With a brave heart, let your pride shine ♪

♪ Kiss me, my baby ♪

♪ With a brave heart, let your pride shine ♪

Thank you to the Debutante Society for their wonderful performance.

Now, we welcome the Damsel Society to come on the stage.

Does it hurt? Your particles.

Three, four, five...

I thought I understood gravity very well.

But you were the one who showed me what attraction means.

In order to meet you again in this life that lasts only for an instant,

even if I had to give up my most important decision, I finally understood.

Ten thousand earth-shattering discoveries were nothing compared to your presence.

Once, you were my most surprising variable.

But now,

you are the deepest regret in my heart.

A sincere gratitude to all segmenters:
bjohnsonwong (Chief)
mxover, whiteclouddott, luckylauper, and nicefly09

A sincere gratitude to all CHI-ENG subtitlers:
miyuhyoeun (Moderator)
tae_v, jun3, bridget88, skybluebluie_281, movieaddict88, kristie

A sincere gratitude to all editors:
kakashiandme (Chief)
yukuo_555 (TE) and janiceofficial (GE)

A sincere gratitude to all other language moderators and subtitlers.

A sincere gratitude to all designers:
jhnimm (Cover Page) and marykarmelina (Thank You Card)

Where did you go?

I was waiting for you to look for me.

I've been looking for you.

That's why I came.

Did you brush your teeth?

Get lost.

You're back?

They've grown up.

Then... What about us?

What's that?

Especially-designed cat food for a cat named Akita.

I've already given the cat away.

I have an Akita dog now.

I want you to take care of him with me.

There's no more cola at my place.

Can you go buy a bottle for me?

You want me to go to the convenience store?

- Yeah.
- Do you want anything else?

Nothing else.

- Really, nothing?
- Really, nothing.

I'll be right there.

Welcome.

To all the lovely viewers, thank you for watching.
May you have wonderful blossoming days ahead.
- janiceofficial (Channel Manager) -

[Jian Huang - China]

[MIT The 2015th]

♪ My short hair isn't graceful ♪

♪ My weight is 107 kg ♪

♪ I don't have an alluring figure ♪

♪ When I smile, you can see my braces ♪

♪ It's only in my dreams ♪

♪ that I can act cutely to you ♪

♪ I don't want it to be like before ♪

♪ when I would smile foolishly at the sight of you ♪

♪ I'm so in love that my heart nearly jumps out of my body ♪

♪ I'm so in love that my head can't keep up ♪

♪ I'm so in love, trying to stay close to you ♪

♪ I'm so in love with you, but I can't tell you ♪

♪ It's only in my dreams ♪

♪ that I can act cutely to you ♪

♪ I don't want it to be like before ♪

♪ when I would smile foolishly at the sight of you ♪

♪ I'm so in love that my heart nearly jumps out of my body ♪

♪ I'm so in love that my head can't keep up ♪

♪ I'm so in love, trying to stay close to you ♪

♪ I'm so in love with you, but I can't tell you ♪