Not Afraid, Not Afraid (2001) - full transcript

(calm piano music)

(calm piano music)
(ocean waves rumbling)

- Died in her sleep after
a long illness,

died peacefully in her
sleep after a long illness,

does that sound better?

It never mind just died
after a long illness.

It's more to the point.

After she graduated with
a first in psychology,

part of Harmon Road,
served 20 years

as an educational psychologist.

She leaves a highly
regarded life's work,



most notably Creative Aging

and the Authoritarian
Personality published by Rand.

Did you get that?

Good.

She's survived by her
devoted husband Henry,

no her devoted and
heart-broken husband Henry,

two beloved children,
Matthew a vicar

in the Church of Ireland and
Sarah, a speech therapist

and by many dedicated friends.

You charge by the line?

Oh, read it back to
me would you?

(ocean waves roaring)

Mm.

Seem a bit dry to you?



Well, never mind.

Just put it in on Monday,
the 20th.

Yes, I'm aware that's in a week.

You have a problem with that?

(congregation singing)

♪ Thou art our God
with hearts and ♪

- Shh, shh.

- Let us listen now to
the word of Jesus.

Please sit for reading.

- Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.

- Shh.

- This morning's gospel
is taken from Matthew.

Seeing the crowd she
went up in the mountain.

- Daddy--

- He opened his mouth
and taught them

blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the
kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are the meek, for
they shall inherit the Earth.

Blessed are those with--

- Thomas, stop that.

- And thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure of
heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers

for they shall be
called sons of God.

(church bells ringing)
(gate creaking)

- Daddy, daddy!

- Um, no no, not yours son.

How do you make that clear sis?

- He calls all men Daddy.

Stop that Thomas.

- Ah!
- Stop it!

Still problems with your back?

- How come he can sing hymns?

You don't take him to
church do you?

- His child minder takes him.

She believes in miracles.

Well, did you get the summons?

- Sarah, it's just another
one of her entertainments.

- But she's very sick.

- I can't go, it's the
parish bridge night.

You go.
- No way.

My car broke down.

- You mean you don't want to.

- Look who's talking, you
haven't been there in a year

and you know well enough
I can't take Thomas there.

So much for your
Christian charity.

- You two are exactly alike,
always bossing me around.

- Daddy?

(train horn toots)

No, no no no no.

- Jesus, Thomas it's
only a train.

Thomas please, we're
gonna miss that train.

Please forgive me.

We'll take the next one

and I'll hold your
hands all the way.

(tender acoustic guitar
and piano music)

Please Thomas, say it.

- Not afraid, not afraid.

- When I was little,

there was a fairy living
in our house you know.

I was a dreamy child.

I didn't want to grow up.

One night the fairy
sat on my bed.

You had to be very still

because fairies can't stand
loud noises, just like you.

(train roars)

And the fairy granted me a wish

and I wished for a
child of my own

who would never grow up.

You'd better be careful
with a fairy.

And one day the fairy left,

but it never came back.

But it lost a tiny shoe.

We still have it.

It's made of spider's webs.

- Hello Knopf.

This is my Thomas.

Say hello Thomas.

Jesus, are you moving or what?

- Books, she still orders
a box a day, sometimes two.

She doesn't even read them.

She's much worse, much
worse these last few days.

- Good God, Knopf she can't
possibly need all that.

- Not anymore, much too
weak to get up these days.

- Really?

I could have sworn.

(gasps)

- Jesus!

- Thou shalt not kill!

This creature too was
made by our good Lord.

- I know Knopf I remember.

Any news from the hospital?

- There's some mutton
stew left over.

I cooked it for myself.

She eats only junk.

I don't know anything
about the hospital.

She doesn't share such
things with me.

She treats me very
badly you know.

All these years and him
what does he eat?

- Same as me.

- Caca boo boo shit.

- A bad little boy.

- Please Thomas!

- She says I get on her nerves.

She calls me names.

Always complaining.

Tut tut tut.

She doesn't get out
of bed anymore,

but she can't be left
alone even for a minute.

I have to live in this mess.

She won't even let my
cats in my house.

- Oh, I'll go.

You stay here Thomas all right?

Don't leave him alone
Knopf, even for a minute.

Hey who are you?

Where do you think you're going?

- That's Helen, she lives
in the village.

She's here morning,
noon and night

as if I didn't have
enough to do.

(breathing heavily)

- Mother how are you?

- I don't know why I
have two children,

since not one of them
cares to think about me

and yet I think of you all
the time, all the time,

two intelligent children,
how you ruin your lives.

- Not intelligent enough,
you should know.

You tested us to death.

I can leave now if that's
what you want.

- Leave, leave I like
being alone.

Who do you think you're fooling?

The only reason you're here now

is that you're going to
feel guilty after I die.

- Oh please why do you always
have to play the victim?

- Oh of course you had
to start that mumbling.

Get my ear!

Not that one, you know
perfectly well

it gives me a headache.

Oh, a headache is a mere detail

to someone as sick as
your mother.

So that's what you want,
to kill me.

I know you'd be thrilled if
I dropped dead tonight, hmm?

- Can't you talk?

I mean something
besides filthy words?

Can you or can't you?

Fine, don't you
understand anything?

Apparently not.

At least you won't have
to suffer through the test

the intelligence test.

It's the way of making
her look clever

and everyone else dumb.

She forces everyone to do it.

Hmph, even Mary Corbin,
she's a plumber's wife.

I'm smarter than a
plumber's wife

and whole lot smarter
than her ex,

your grandfather Henry.

He can't be so smart can
he since he left her?

Must be a bit of a
disgrace you know,

having an idiot in the family.

(glass shatters)

(speaking foreign
language) Trouble maker!

- Stop yelling at him Knopf,

he didn't do it on purpose.

Look, my dead frog, see,
frozen solid.

We'll bury him
tomorrow if you want.

- They found tumors everywhere,

mostly in the spine.

There's an article about
it, you know that's it.

All the details about my case,

results in patients
treated with surgery alone

were disappointing, with
immediate survival at three

months and all dead at 9.5
months.

In the group given radiation
therapy, what's the matter?

Don't you understand English?

It means you can write me off.

You can give me a couple
of months at the very most.

Spare me the face.

- Mother you're not a doctor.

- I've been
researching this stuff

from all over the world
for the past three years.

I know more than any of them.

Leave me alone now.

You exhaust me with
your whining.

Sarah, did you bring him your

little monster?

- Yes, I brought my monster!

- Well I don't wish to see him.

He depresses me.

You're much too young.

That child is going to
ruin your life.

All your wishful thinking
won't make him speak.

No wonder his father left you.

There are places for
children like him,

even if you had any
sense when he was born.

No one will tell him the truth!

I'm the only one with
any guts in this family.

- She's the monster!

How can she even say
that to me again?

- For your own good, because I
worry about you a lot, a lot!

- I'll never come back here,
ever!

- [Mother] There's no more
trains tonight.

(clock chimes)

(sighs)

- She tries to take
our hope away.

Never forgive her.

I wish she were dead.

- Dead fuck.

(calm piano music)

Daddy.

(calm piano music)

- Morning sis.

I've only managed to
get away from

the bridge night from hell.

How is she?

- Well enough for me to
take the next train home.

- Sarah where are you going?

- Good of you to make
the time Matthew.

I know how busy it
gets Mountbellew.

How many in the flock now,
17 is it?

- You look very well mother.

- Speak up I can't hear
a word you're saying.

- She must keep warm.

She'll catch her death.

- Sharp as a knife,
Knopf as always.

I've caught it already.

- Well catch it more
for all I care.

- It was nice of you to
make a sand pit for Thomas.

- It's not a sand pit.

It's my private beach.

Since I can't go
anywhere anymore.

(train horn honks)

That's it, Tom P.

I check on him every morning.

He could pop off anytime
couldn't he, heart attack?

- She never gets me, ever.

Anyway, I don't remember.

What?

(growls)

Say please give me the feather.

Please Thomas say it.

Please Thomas I know you can.

I'm sorry.

Oh my baby, I'm so sorry.

I know you can talk
in your head.

I shouldn't have asked.

I don't want to torment you.

I do understand you when
you talk in your head.

Now don't be sad.

I can't bear it.

Okay. (laughs)

(tender acoustic guitar music)

(laughs)
(tender acoustic guitar music)

- Johnny Egan how lovely I
wasn't expecting you today.

Dr. Egan my son Matthew, Dr.
Egan is my dearest friend

Mattie, he also happens to
be an excellent pediatrician.

My dear Sarah is out for
a morning walk

with her little boy.

They'll be back soon.

This is is the first time
in years we're all together.

- I'm delighted.

This is a marvelous lady you
have here in your mother.

- Another poem, how lovely.

- My lady seems much
better I have to say.

- Well my children are
here surrounding one.

It gives one such strength.

- Isn't this a great,
strong indomitable woman?

- Never victorious,
never defeated

we soldier on serene in
the face of eternity,

without any of course
any support from Henry.

I'm afraid doesn't share
the opinion doctor.

I hate to say this,
but even though

he is a professor of law,
unfortunately Henry is not

a very intelligent man.

I gave him my test you know.

- Mother, stop that.

- Every day I ask myself
why I chose him.

It does nothing to be
gained from regret.

Yet I think one must
die with dignity.

Don't you agree doctor?

Oh, pick me a bunch of
wild flowers would you dear

and don't be too
long sweetheart?

- The usual Mr. Harmon Rhodes,
Paula.

- We need to talk about
mother Matthew.

Let's go for a walk.

- I'm off to the cemetery.

- I have to go to town so I'm
leaving Thomas with you Knopf.

- Oh no, not him, no he's
too strange that one.

- Come on Thomas, let's jump!

- I mean he doesn't
know how to talk.

Anyway, I couldn't.

- Of course you can Knopf.

Take him to the cemetery.

He'd be fascinated.

She's president for the

Association for Humane Dutying.

She's half the the membership.

The other half is that fellow
Manyon, the grave digger.

Knopf's soft on him.

Tell them what you do, Knopf.

- We catch stray cats
with cat nip.

They can't resist it,
it's sexual.

- She neuters them
personally, don't you Knopf?

Snips off their little
bollocks, snip snip.

Sounds like a good cure
for stray husbands too.

Should we take our path
along the beach?

(whimsical music)

- I'll sleep in the big bed.

You're a new daddy.

You'll sleep on the sofa.

- She's not going to
run my life.

- He's the child.

He's been bad.

We have to punish him.

- [Thomas] My monster.

- That's when he played
the harmonica for me

and he asked me to marry him.

Does he know that I'm dying?

Did you he ever ask
you about me?

Answer me.

- Please mother, it
doesn't do you any good.

- Did you know that woman,
that person

used to run a brothel in London?

- Don't be ridiculous mother.

She's a minister's widow.

- What do you know?

You don't know her.

Or do you?

Well let me tell you
first she was a whore,

then she owned the whorehouse

and then she became a
minister's wife.

Your father always
likes floozies

just like your son's
father Sarah.

You're like me, you'll
need up alone.

- You are the very last
person in the world

I'm going to be like.

- You'll see, you'll see.

Your sister definitely
can't face the truth.

- You just can't
help it can you?

You want to make it difficult
for anyone to love you.

- You don't love me.

You don't love me.

Well what difference
does it make now?

Stop.

I want to talk to you.

Swear you'll do what I ask.

Swear on your Jesus.

- Jesus!

All right I swear.

- It's about my knickers.

Dead people shit in their pants.

I want mine changed
after I'm dead

and Knopf says no one will
know it doesn't matter.

I can't trust her.

Well, it's your job isn't
it, taking care of the dead?

- I take care of the
living, that's my job.

I'm a vicar, not a
bloody undertaker.

- Yes I keep forgetting, my
son's a vicar, not a priest,

but a vicar, a celibate vicar.

Can you explain to me
how you managed to live

without getting laid
with my genes?

Why don't you just admit to it?

It's no big deal anymore,
being gay these days.

- I can't admit to it
because I'm not.

I haven't married yet

because I haven't found
the right partner yet.

- Partner, what does that
mean in queen's English?

- For heaven's sake, stop that.

He can't, don't you understand?

Stop torturing him.

(calm violin music)

(rain patters)
(calm violin music)

(thunder rumbles)
(calm violin music)

(calm violin music)
(rain patters)

(cane pounds)

- Your negligent, thoughtless
and unqualified housekeeper

is going out tonight.

You can wash your
backside yourself.

I have a life, not like you.

- Isn't my little
doctor charming?

To be frank he's a better
poet than he is a doctor

and he's a terrible poet.

But he loves me.

He'll prescribe anything.

Has anyone seen
Thomas's monster?

We have to find it.

He won't leave without it.

Can't miss that train.

- Do I recognize that
scarf Sarah?

- Probably why?

- It looks remarkably
like the one

I gave to your father once.

She gave it to you,
Henry's whore.

- Henry's whore, as you
persist in calling her,

gave it not to me,
but to Thomas,

whom by the way she calls by
his name, Thomas, not him.

She seems to love Thomas.

Worse still, she seems
to love father

and he seems not to be
driven to destruction by her.

Now I've got to go.

I'm taking son, him home.

- My digitalis.

Fortunately my charming
little doctor believes

in mercy killing in
desperate cases like mine.

The grave digger
looking for business.

It's a great relief for
me to have this you know.

It's supposed to be the
nearest thing there is

to a graceful death.

(classical music)

(cries)
(classical music)

- Good night good morning.

(classical music)

(train horn honks)

Not afraid, not afraid.

- What I can't hear you?

I can't even hear
music any more.

(calm piano music)

- Thomas?

Thomas?

Thomas, I told you not
to come in here.

Come to bed now now.

- Let him be.

Why haven't you left yet?

Afraid I might kill
myself tonight?

It's terribly lethal you know.

There's enough in there to
kill two adults

or four children, children
who suffer can say so.

At least adults are in charge
of their lives usually.

Maybe I should give your little
monster my test after all.

(train horn honks)

- Not afraid, not afraid.

Monster.

My monster.

(calm violin music)

- Sarah?

I think someone's
stolen mother's van.

- Thomas?

Thomas!

- He's not in his bed!

Thomas!

Thomas!

Thomas!

(Sarah cries)

Thomas, Thomas!

- Look look easy now Sarah.

Maybe she was feeling better
and they went for a spin.

- No, she didn't take
her crutches.

Oh my God, the hand bag!

- What about the bag?

The digitalis, that's
where she keeps it.

- She took it, she
took it with her.

- She's taken the boy.

She's gone off with Thomas.

She's going to hurt him.

- No no, we don't know that sis.

- You don't understand.

She was speaking so
strangely last night.

She said he wasn't in
charge of his life.

- Oh Jesus.

- Is Thomas' Church of
Ireland please?

- Oh My God, it's my fault!

It's all my fault!

- No Sarah, we will find them.

She's ill.

She can't have gone far.

(car screeches)
(car horn honks)

- Here we go!

Damn!

- Mommy where?

- Damn, damn damn damn damn!

What the hell are
you doing here?

- Monster.

- Wonderful, just what I need.

Jesus, I can' take you back.

I have very, very
urgent business.

I've arranged everything.

Now you can't stay with me.

We'll have half of Ireland
looking for us.

I know your mother.

(tender acoustic guitar music)

- Is Thomas' Church of
Ireland Matthew?

- Sure, please Helen I
need to pray.

This isn't the right moment.

- My nanny says you don't
want me to play with him

because we're not
Church of Ireland.

- That's nonsense, I need to--

- Are you praying to
find your mommy?

- Yes.

- She must be happy that
you pray for her.

- Well my mother's not
much on prayers.

She never goes to church.

- Yeah she does, we went to
big church to visit her friend,

she gone in, it's a
secret, he's your father.

- Not my father Helen, a father.

It's Father O'Donahue, they
went to school together.

Priests Helen are called father.

Look, why don't you go to our
church now and pray for them?

- My nan says were not Church
of Ireland so I can't go.

- Well that's not true.

You can go if you want.

Just tell your mother
that it's your choice

you want to be a protestant.

- I very much want to be one.

- Okay.

- And I also want to
be a Catholic

and a Latter Day like me mum.

- You say my name is Thomas
I'm lost call my mother

and you give this to
the man behind the bar.

Now repeat what I said.

Don't you even know your name?

I can't believe it.

A speech therapist with a
child who doesn't speak.

Somebody explain this to me.

At least she could have
taught you your name.

Right, out we get!

Chop chop!

(rooster crows)

- Mommy.

- Yes, yes your
mother will come.

Just do what I say.

I have to go now.

(dog barks)

(truck wheels' squeaking)

(truck driver yells)

- Red pajamas with large
black Mickey Mouse.

Okay, that should be plenty.

Well, we'll start
looking right away.

I'd say you're okay.

They probably went to visit
and forget to let you know.

- I doubt that.

That's not like my mother.

- Please it could be a
matter of hours.

My mother is very ill.

And she's a whole bottle
of digitalis in her pack.

She said it was enough for
two adults and four children,

children who suffer.

- We'll do everything we can.

I can promise you that.

If I was you, I'd check
with her friends too.

(rain pattering)
(thunder rumbling)

- I can't believe it.

Can you imagine me living there?

Gosh, this man was so, he
was exceptional.

There he is, Pat Malone.

Running my fingers through his
groves really drove me mad.

Holy mackerel!

♪ Holy holy God God. ♪

- Shut up, shut up.

If you do that again
I'll gag you.

He clearly had his shortcomings.

Before we had sex, he'd
first fold his trousers.

But I've never waited on
anyone like that, never.

You see I need to know what
my life could have been.

Yes my other lives, the
ones I've missed.

I mean it would have been
worth it, this?

Oh, let's get out of here.

♪ Holy holy God God almighty ♪

♪ Holy holy Lord almighty ♪

♪ Holy holy God God almighty ♪

♪ Holy holy God God almighty ♪

- Stop bloody holy
singing, I can't stand it.

How come you can sing
and not speak?

Well bollocks, oh it's just as
well you can't speak really.

I couldn't hear you anyway.

We're well matched we two.

I'm deaf, old, sick,
alone ah well.

All it'll take is a
little courage.

But you what about your life?

What will that be like?

Life without lovers, without
children without books?

Nevermind children a
whole life without books.

Sod it!

Now you've peed in your
bloody trousers.

- [Thomas] Bad hurt not nice.

- Stop it, stop it, you're not
going to sabotage my plans.

(Thomas cries)
Thomas,

stop your bloody whining!

Now look if the next
car to the left is blue

you stop whining for two hours,
three!

(whimsical music)

See!

You shut up now!

(whimsical music)

(sighs)

He doesn't know how
to go myself,

so he's retarded, challenged.

He's handicapped.

- Handicapped over there.

- He can go here,
there's no problem.

- Not in here.

Handicapped over there.

- Right.

Another example of
equal opportunity.

Oh!

What do you mean you can't?

Well concentrate!

- I think I should go
and see Father O'Donahue.

You remember him, he
was my professor?

- The one mother went
to school with?

- Helen said they went
to see him last week.

I think she took a shine to him.

- Mother taking shine
to the priest.

- [Matthew] Well they're a
Jesuit, they're different.

It's not so much adultery,
more books.

- A lot of people don't
feel they want to be.

(people talking)

- He didn't recognize me

and he's not got any
younger either.

Still with the girls.

He was the best in bed by far.

When I say by far, what a waste!

Stay here.

Sit there!

- Don't sit, don't sit.

- Stay there stupid stay.

(mumbles incoherently)

- I'll be with you in a minute.

- Shh!

- Paula?

(tender violin music)

- You call them all by
their first name father.

Do you remember how
you called me?

You called me Paulina.

I liked that.

You were such a romantic.

I gave you my ring.

(tender violin music)

- Daddy?

Daddy?

- But I--

(tender violin music)

- Yes?

Is that Matthew?

Matthew Harmon Rhodes,
class of '93, '94,

a long time ago isn't it?

Are you a vicar now?

- In Mountbellew yes.

Can I talk to you for a
moment father?

It's about my mother,
it's important.

I know you're close to her.

- Not exactly, close no.

One knows of her of
course, a writer isn't she?

Terribly celebrated, we met
once or twice years ago.

Unfortunately I haven't
seen her in years.

Would you give her my best?

Please you'll have to excuse me.

I must start my class.

- I can't believe you
won't miss out

on the unique occasion
of cleaning up this mess.

- Oh stop it, Knopf,
I've already told you no.

What on Earth?

Can you believe it?

She had a horoscope drafted,
mother.

- Every month, yes?

So what a little bit of
hope is what she needs most.

Less expensive than all
these doctors.

She doesn't need this
anymore, makes her cry.

When he left, we were hanging
around the house for weeks

waiting for him like
abandoned cats.

- Oh I didn't know that you
liked my father that much.

- Oh but I did not,
not at all, not at all!

- That the appeal of the
eviction order has been

rejected. She has to move out by
the end of next month?

Did you know that, Knopf?

- I know nothing,
nothing at all.

She never tells me anything.

- I can't believe my
father did this.

I can't believe it.

- And what's more he
was a sadist at heart.

He used to pinch my
breasts with clothespins

because it turned him on.

He also said he'd leave me
when I got old and then he did.

For years he made me
live in fear.

It's where I got my cancer.

It amounts to murder!

Well you may well ask why
did I marry him?

He begged me to marry
him every day for a year.

I might have known, a man
who collects butterflies.

- Butterflies.

(tender acoustic guitar music)

(church radio music)

- Oh bollocks, oh well.

It'll be over soon, very soon.

- Bad hurt not nice.

- One could actually get
through a whole long life,

with those three little words
of yours, bad, hurt, nice.

Of course one could do
without the nice.

I'd really like to know how
much of this you understand.

(tender piano music)

I love that fishy
smell in the wind.

I rather fancy I may
come back as a sailor.

This is just a temporary
test all right?

Are these shapes the
same or different?

Tell me are they the
same or different?

- Different.

- That's very good!

I knew it, you know,

I can see the
intelligence in your eyes.

All right once again.

Different or the same?

- Same.

- Ah, very very good.

Let's try this once again.

All right, now these,

are they different or the same?

- Same.

- Mm-hmm.

All right and now these,
same or different?

Same or different, hmm?

- Different different
different different.

- All right you just repeat
the last thing I say.

Oh well, it doesn't matter,
doesn't matter at all.

It's terribly sad and
deeply depressing.

(tender piano music)

- It is his parent's
house after all.

What would you expect
him to do for God's sake?

- But he left her, closing
all her bank accounts.

She hadn't a penny to her name,

at her age and sick with cancer.

That's not obscene?

That's where she keeps
the fairy shoe.

- The fairy shoe?

Jesus!

She drove him around
the bend for God's sake.

Every day was like this weekend.

He just got fed up.

- Fed up?

He dumped her after 28 years.

I hope someday he'll
suffer like she did.

- Come on, you're just cross

because you've been
dumped yourself.

Ow!

- My problems never
bother you anyway.

You're too busy being
paralyzed by your own mother.

You can't deal with strong
women, with any women.

You're off hiding with
Jesus so you don't have to.

- Dear Jesus!

- Is that black magic?

It has to be a joke.

She couldn't have done that.

- Her commit suicide?

(laughs)

Never in a million years!

You know your mother Matthew.

It's just another one of
her crazy ideas.

She dropped everything
on the hunt to track down

some obscure Celtic burial site.

She's done it to me and
not only once.

Yes I do want her out
of the house.

She only uses three
bloody rooms.

She's had the entire west
wing shut down.

Everywhere is covered with
dead flies and mouse shit,

so yes I am sending her.

I offered her half the money

so she could buy herself a flat.

Ah, she didn't tell you
that did she?

I thought not.

Let me speak to your sister.

Sarah, listen darling,
don't worry about Thomas.

Your mother is eccentric,
but she wouldn't hurt a fly.

She'll be back tonight
like nothing has happened.

- Yes, yes I know.

How are you father?

- Oh I'm fine.

Well no actually I'm having
an operation next week.

It's the old water works
I'm afraid, prostate.

Well that's it I guess,
I'm getting old.

- Never ever met again,

but I know our feelings
didn't change.

Even if he got fat or
lost his hair,

we'd live together
happily James and I

in one of his beautiful houses

surrounded by books
and paintings

and in evenings we'd sit
together reading poetry.

He'd recognize me in
spite of my age.

Dear, dear James.

(sings quietly)

What was that?

Thomas what did you say?

You're like a little bird.

You don't even know
you'll die one day.

Come away with human child
to the waters and the wild

with a fairy hand in hand.

It's called The Stolen Child,
I've forgotten the rest.

I've forgotten and
you don't care.

(tender piano music)

(Polaroid clacks)

Well at least my dear
James will always

remember me young and beautiful.

Holy mackerel!

(whimsical music)
(car wheels whining)

Could have waited a day
before calling out the guards.

You must be my karma Thomas,

my burden in this world
hopefully not in the next one.

You won't believe this,
but Doctor Johnny Egan

really wanted me, those
mature women.

Listen to this, oh late
paradise of mine,

let me be the ocean of
your delight.

Ocean of your delight,
isn't it touching?

I already regret
turning him down.

You listening, Thomas?

Oh my God!

(whimsical music)

- Oh what have you done?

- Flowers grandma flowers.

- You're his grandmother?

You can't let a kid like that
wander around on his own.

You owe me 50 pounds, eight
hours of work, plus the flowers.

You pay me now or you want
me to call the guards?

- Why don't you?

I don't know this child.

Poor little boy, you call
everyone grandma do you?

If I were you, I'd call
the guards now.

They'll find his parents.

You'll get your money back.

Of course they might
have lost him on purpose.

- Wait!

I can't leave my shop now.

Would you mind taking him?

(whimsical music)

- Not bad for a girl of
sheltered upbringing.

I hope my mother saw me.

She never kissed me, never.

Do you name someone you
love Paulette?

Paulette, Paulette?

I was happy when she was dead.

- [Thomas] Red flower.

- Well they found the van.

Apparently they're well
enough for her to steal a car,

a Mercedes, can you
believe this?

Mother has stolen a car
from a dealer.

I wonder the full cost.

- A good German car, very wise.

♪ She is a-courting one, two,
three ♪

♪ Pray, can you tell
me who is she ♪

♪ I'll tell me ma,
when I get home ♪

♪ The boys won't leave
the girls alone ♪

♪ Pulled me hair,
stolen me comb ♪

♪ But that's alright,
till I go home ♪

♪ She is handsome,
she is pretty ♪

♪ She is the belle of
Dublin city ♪

♪ She is a-courting one, two,
three ♪

♪ Pray, can you tell
me who is she ♪

- Why are you staring
at this child?

I'm ashamed of you,
he's not a circus freak.

Morons have no manners!

You must learn to stand
up for yourself Thomas.

I simply can't stand
ill-mannered people.

The bottle, oh, without
I'm finished.

Well that's a manner
of speaking.

With it, I'm finished too.

♪ She is handsome,
she is pretty ♪

♪ She is the belle of
Dublin city ♪

♪ She is a-courting one, two,
three ♪

♪ Pray, can you tell
me who is she ♪

- Thomas?

(church bell rings)

Thomas?

(people clapping)

Thomas?

Thomas stop it, stop it.

Thomas, stop staring at the man.

Thomas, don't do that.

Don't stare at people,
all right then.

You have to eat healthy.

Now what do you want
noodles or chips?

No, I said noodles or chips?

- Chips.

- Now let's hear that
again, chips or noodles?

- Noodles.

- Are you completely
obstinate or what?

Will you make up your
bloody mind.

You little, you little monster!

You need to learn some manners.

Just look at me!

- Aren't you ashamed
of yourself?

Beating up on a poor
little kid like that?

Somebody else call the guards.

- They're not going to
sit here and watch this.

- Oh I can't.

Is that it?

Bravo for your performance.

You better start
behaving yourselves.

We can't take any more
chances like that.

We still have the big
job ahead of us.

Come on.

(tender piano music)

- Now how is she?

Is she upstairs?

- Doctor Egan can I have a word?

Your mother?

- My mother left last night

with a six-year-old
handicapped child

and a pint of digitalis.

Considering her state of mind,

we have the most serious
fears for their safety.

Now if I am to assume correctly,

you have allowed her to
stock up on this product

with your generous
prescriptions.

- Well frankly frankly
now I can't remember,

I may have given it to
her once or twice,

but hold on Matthew your
mother is terminally ill.

She needs all the
help she can get.

- You may call me vicar.

And let me assure you
of this doctor.

If anything should
happen to either of them,

you will be in serious trouble.

The register will only be
the beginning I promise you.

- Stop it Matthew, you know
very well she's manipulated him.

- Indeed, she did not.

Your mother needed to take
this decision for herself

and I respect that.

I know my risks,

but she would never
hurt a child.

Also if she'd had a little
bit more love and support

from you she mightn't
be in this situation.

- That's true what he says.

You don't even know how
much she cares for you.

I shouldn't be saying this,

but she had these cards printed.

She even stamped the envelopes.

(tender violin music)

- Hideous.

Looks like she's hired
Knopf's grave digger

to do her garden.

I bet there's a gnome
on her lawn.

Thomas get back here, Thomas!

- Grandpa, grandpa.

- Thomas, Thomas come on
now back here.

Thomas come back here, shh
stop your bloody wailing.

Shh, listen!

This is not a joke!

Jesus, look at her!

She's a sack of bones,
stick insect!

He only likes voluptuous
women, so you've got to wonder.

Sure he ties her on the
bed with a clothesline

so he can pinch her breasts.

Maybe puts a dog collar on her

like in the Story of O and
she's on all fours barking.

He puts jam on her,
on her business

and then he puts the ants.

- Ant butterflies.

(sniffs loudly)

- See, that's all he's
interested in, sex!

He doesn't care if she's stupid.

She only reads books on
how to fold a napkin.

He's killing me.

He must be punished do
you understand me?

He must!

- Oh they're recovering
from the operation.

They'll be gone from
here tomorrow.

Sarah if I were you I
wouldn't worry so much.

I mean for your son, maybe
nothing will happen to him.

- What do you mean for God sake?

Did she tell you something?

- No no no nothing at all.

Oh she never tells me anything.

It's just that I feel bad
for you worrying so much

because maybe she's not
going to kill herself at all.

Maybe she's not even that
sick you know.

- I'm afraid she is.

I saw her X-rays.

It's very kind of you to
worry about me.

I know it's difficult
for you too.

We must keep our hopes up.

We'll find them.

(whimsical music)

- Water please my dear.

Always at bloody dinner time.

Gentleman.

- [Policemen] Mr. Harmon
Rhodes sorry to bother you?

Your wife hasn't called
this way by any chance?

- I think you mean my ex-wife

and no, no I haven't
seen her for two years,

although I hear she's
out on the move.

- [Policemen] It's just
that we're a bit worried.

We got a call on the
blower to tell us

she's got a child with her.

- My grandson Thomas,
but gentleman

the lady is prone to
take off at short notice

for as long as I've known her.

- She's had some cards
printed for after she's dead.

- She has, has she?

Well really, she'll do
anything for attention.

- Bloody wimp!

Wanker!

- Gentleman, she'll
turn up tonight

as if nothing had happened.

Now if you'll excuse me.

- Of course you're after dinner.

Sorry for taking up your time.

(whimsical music)

- What are you taking drugs?

- What oh that?

That helps me relax.

- Ah relax you need that,
a vicar?

You don't find God
relaxing enough?

- Sometimes I need this,
for Christ's sakes.

- My mother, my mother thinks--

- I know what your
mother thinks.

She told me you were
when you were 15.

Thank God I have no children.

I largely prefer my--

- She can kill
herself right away.

I couldn't care less.

We'll be nicely mourning
and we'll finally be free

to live our lives and
you know maybe

I won't need a
psychiatrist anymore.

- Stop that you're drunk.

- Maybe, maybe not.

♪ And God said ♪

- Thomas, shh!

(couple talking in
muffled tones)

- There they go.

Now she'll start doing
all her odious tricks.

- Yes, yes, I know that officer.

Well they've asked us
to stay put.

Well the search warrant's out
now. If there's nothing in the

morning, they'll widen the
search.

Oh Sarah please, I'm sure
they'll do what they can.

Good Christ sis, look at this!

- What?

- Paula Harmon Rhodes
addresses the conference,

Irish Women for Change
it's mother so.

- [Matthew] The date,
look at the date!

- July the 10th, but
that's last week.

- Last week in Dublin!

Our bedridden mother was
up in her pins

talking to ladies who lunch
about aging gracefully.

Knopf, would you care
to explain this to me?

- Well I tried to
explain to Sarah,

but she didn't listen.

(whimsical music)

- Hold that, don't let go!

Come on!

(whimsical music)

- Can I have mommy?

- Shh!

(whimsical music)

- Mommy?

(whimsical music)

Mommy?

- Leave me alone.

You won't stop me from
doing what I have to do.

- My mommy.

- Stop!

- My mommy!

- Sit down, sit here and
don't budge, don't budge.

(whimsical music)

- Not afraid, not afraid.

Not afraid, not afraid.

- His books he said he
couldn't bear

my mess with the books anymore.

Mess, what mess?

You walk into the living room,

you have my travel books
and art to left,

Irish classics to the right

and contemporary plays
on the upper shelves.

That gets you into
the right end,

with all the modern
English fiction to left

and American fiction
to the right.

I admit psychology and
medical got a bit out of hand.

Well so what, so what?

- Same.

Different.

Same.

- That's very good Thomas.

That's very, very good.

(laughs)

I don't think I have
enough anger left anyway

now that I've seen her.

I thought we'd keep each
other from growing old sadly.

Maybe I just made him up.

Or maybe he wasn't the
right man for me after all.

Isn't that a funny thought?

After 27 and a half
years of marriage.

Thomas!

You didn't do that did you?

Oh well.

It'll take a little
more courage that's all.

(dog barks)

Count on me, Henry.

My death will sit on
your conscience.

You'll never be able to
touch your old hag again

without thinking of me.

- I don't understand
are you sure?

- Here, see for yourselves.

I'd always personally supervised
her tests at her request,

but you know her.

- A mistake possible?

- Certainly not, your
mother's been in the clear now

for two years, a
remarkable remission.

I haven't seen anything
like it in years.

- [Matthew] Well I must say
it's good news, excellent news.

- She's been faking it
all these months.

She's been faking it.

- I told you she just
tries to get on our nerves

so we have to pay
attention to her.

- I don't know.

- Whatever she's up to,

she definitely has no
reason to take her life.

- Man from Ennis jumped
off there last week.

It was in the Times.

Oh I'd never have the
guts to do that.

First I'm not mad about heights

and then I wouldn't want to
be found totally messed up.

Poor thing, sure it
was loneliness

that drove him to kill himself.

You know no one to love
anymore, no one to touch,

living as though you
are already dead.

- Dead bird.

- What?

You think you have time
to feel sorry

I mean as you're falling.

All right now go Thomas
there, all by yourself you go,

all right you go and they'll
take you home to your mother.

Go on, go on!

Go on, go on!

(tender violin music)

- Nice Thomas, nice Thomas,
nice Thomas!

- Oh, you're a nice boy.

Nice Thomas, yes, come on now.

Come on.

Do you want to see your mother?

Come on.

(tender violin music)

(waves crashing)

Ah, you're a nuisance Thomas.

No I don't have much time left.

I've organized everything
for afterwards.

Don't you understand?

You're getting in there are you?

Watch your fingers.

Everyone has the right to
choose their own death.

It's basic liberty

at times you have to take.

- Grandma, not afraid,
not afraid.

- Don't shout!

Oh.

I'm not afraid, not at all.

That's not true.

I'm very, very scared.

Let's face it.

You know it's time to go

when chocolate becomes
your sole pleasure in life.

There wipe your nose for
heaven's sakes.

Thanks to you I don't even have

a single match stick left
to fix my ear.

(tender acoustic guitar music)

(spits noisily)

(harmonica tone rings out)

(spits noisily)

Don't spit, you'll ruin it.

It's a keepsake.

Being like you simplifies
everything really.

So many things don't matter.

One's left with essentials.

Thomas, stop that I'm
too old for that.

Oh Thomas.

(laughs)

Oh my God!

(spits noisily)

(laughs)

(tender harmonica music)

- Can't hear the waves anymore.

- Stop whining.

- You better watch
yourself Thomas.

You're making fun of an
old handicapped woman.

What was that what you
said just now?

Can you repeat that?

I still don't know if
you can speak

or if you're just imitating me.

But if you can speak wouldn't
it make sense to use it?

No, never mind, I suppose
everyone needs a hiding place.

I'm sick and I can't
hear for toffee.

Look what I can do.

(laughs)

Go on you try.

(laughs)

Can I get a hug hmm?

I think I could use a hug.

(laughs)

(tender piano music)

It might interest you to know

that I think I've had a
wonderful life.

There was much love you know.

Oh, I'm not saying there weren't

some muddles toward the end.

Maybe I'm not that
angry after all.

Or maybe I'm just getting old.

(tender piano music)

Every time I explain life
to you, you fall asleep.

(tender piano music)

(screams)

- Mommy?

- Thank you my dear.

Sweet Christ!

- Daddy?

- We don't need one, do we?

Do we?

What about a mommy who
loves you twice as much?

(phone rings)

- Hello?

Her son yes.

Sympathy for our loss
no you must be mistaken.

What?

That's a pretty sick joke.

Yes, just a moment.

(sad violin music)

- [Paula Voiceover] When
you read this,

I shall no longer be with you.

Matthew, when you're worried,

you fold your arms behind your
back like your father does.

I'm sure you won't be
that upset to hear

that Henry is not your father.

This man is.

I loved him passionately.

If God exists, he
will forgive me.

I'll find a way to let you know

so you could avoid
wasting your time

in a career with no future.

Still as you well know yourself,

there are some private matters

one might choose not
to reveal ever.

Sarah darling, I was unable
to accurately measure

your son's level of
intelligence,

but intelligence might not
be that important after all.

He's a wonderful child.

Trust him.

I seem to have more fun with him

in one day than in 27 and
a half years of marriage.

Your father was a
passion of my life,

but he had a weak heart sadly,

which means I am afraid that
you are an orphan as of today.

However, better an
orphan than the daughter

of a depraved and lecherous ape.

You probably noticed,
men are quite fragile

and prone to stray, some even
lack the most basic courage.

Though you may have
been hurt Sarah,

you have to learn to
trust again.

- That's easy for
you to say now.

(whimsical violin music)

- [Paula Voiceover]
My dear Knopf,

note that I wish to be cremated

so as not to find
myself interred

by that awful person
Manyon under your parsley.

Through my ashes under the sea.

I can only hope that where I go

there will be neither cats,
nor spiders.

Still I'll be waiting for you.

In the mean time, you might
help Sarah raise that kid.

He needs a strong hand.

(glass shatters)

- Why does she have to
insist on being

thrown into the sea?

It's not clean.

What if it's someone
else's ashes?

What if they want to keep her

to salt the icy roads in winter?

You never know.

With my connections, she
could have had a bargain plot.

What will I do now
about her knickers?

- For heaven's sake,
Knopf knock it off.

They haven't found her yet.

We don't know.

We must pray for her.

We must pray.

I don't believe it.

I don't believe she cheated
on our father for 30 years.

I think she's invented it all.

It's her revenge.

- She just wants attention,
as usual.

- Oh my heart.

My heart, oh!

Oh my heart, my heart!

(spits noisily)

I know you'd all be thrilled
if I dropped dead tonight.

Well close the door.

Do you want me to
catch my death?

- I told you so.

She's not meant to be dead.

She'd have no one to
order around.

- I've changed my
plans temporarily.

(harmonica sounds)

Sarah, I think your
son can speak.

He's talked to me.

He's talked.

- Please leave him alone.

You're tormenting him.

- I appreciate you put
that back Knopf.

The article on gays
in the clergy

in that pile is very
interesting.

Now will you listen to
me for once in your life?

Holy Christ, I'm telling
you your son can speak.

♪ Holy God almighty ♪

♪ Holy holy God almighty ♪

- Speaking of torment I
should certainly

need to teach him another
song before I go again.

Also Knopf, the next time I die,

I'd love to be interred
in your herb garden,

white, a proper place finally.

♪ Holy holy Lord God almighty ♪

- Come here Thomas.

Now would you please
tell your mother,

can you speak yes or no?

Thomas, can you speak?

No or yes?

(tender harmonica music)

♪ Dive like a seagull ♪

♪ Sing like a sparrow ♪

♪ Raise like an eagle ♪

♪ Fly like an arrow ♪

♪ Don't be afraid ♪

♪ Life is just a game ♪

♪ Remember tomorrow ♪

♪ Healing my sorrow ♪

♪ Life will never be the same ♪

♪ I still hear the ocean ♪

♪ Feel your emotion ♪

♪ Dreaming forever ♪

♪ We'll be together ♪

♪ Don't be afraid ♪

♪ Life is just a game ♪

(tender piano and violin music)

♪ Dreaming forever ♪

♪ We'll be together ♪

♪ Don't be afraid ♪

♪ Life is just a game ♪

♪ Remember tomorrow ♪

♪ Healing my sorrow ♪

♪ Life will never be the same ♪

♪ Dive like a seagull ♪

♪ Sing like a sparrow ♪

♪ Raise like an eagle ♪

♪ Fly like an arrow ♪

♪ Don't be afraid ♪

♪ Life is just a game ♪

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.