Northern Borders (2013) - full transcript

'Northern Borders' tells the story of ten year-old Austen Kittredge who is sent by his father to live on his grandparents' Vermont farm, where he experiences wild adventures and uncovers long-festering family secrets. It's 1956 and Austen experiences the farm as a place full of eccentric people, especially his stubborn grandparents whose thorny marriage is known as the Forty Years War. Initially feeling stuck in this fractured household, young Austen plans a quick exit but ends up stranded with no choice but to navigate and endure. A humorous and sometimes startling coming-of-age-story, 'Northern Borders' evokes Vermont's wildness, its sublime beauty, a haunted past, and an aura of enchantment.

[TRAIN WHISTLE]

[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC]

*

-[SLURRING] IT'S NOT WHAT IT
LOOKS LIKE.

[GRUMBLING] ALL THE TIME...

YOUNG MAN OF THE WORLD.

AND A BOOK READER.

A BOOK...

[LAUGHS]

MOBY DICK!

[SNORTS]



OH...

A SERIOUS MAN!

SERIOUS MAN, SERIOUS MAN...

[GRUMBLING]

SERIOUS FELLA, HMM?

[EXHALES LOUDLY]

MM, SERIOUS, HMM?

NO TRAVELS EH? HMM, OKAY...

UH...

-THERE'S NO DRINKING IN HERE.

I'VE SPOKE TO YOU ABOUT
THIS BEFORE, HAVEN'T I?

-I DON'T BELIEVE SO.

-YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF.

WE'LL PUT YOU OUT OF HERE
WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT.



-[GRUNTS]

YES SIR.

HMM.

NOW BOY...

HMM, I SUPPOSE
YOU'RE WONDERING HOW IT IS

THAT I AIN'T DRINKING
WHEN I WOULD,

[LAUGHS]

APPEAR OTHERWISE.

[LAUGHS]

OH, CAT'S GOT HIS TONGUE.

OH, SPEAKING OF...

SPEAKING OF CATS, WHICH
YOU WASN'T BUT I WAS...

I GOT A CAT AS BIG
AS A WHEEL OF CHEESE.

THIS TWENTY-POUND CAT COULD
KILL FIVE FULL-GROWN RATS IN A

GRAIN BARREL IN
60 SECONDS FLAT.

YOU BELIEVE THAT?

[LAUGHS]

I DO.

[LAUGHS]

AIN'T YOU AND I A PAIR OF
OLD FRENCH WHORES, THOUGH?

[LAUGHS]

-YES.

-YEAH...

MM.

-ARE YOU MY GRANDFATHER?

-[BREATHING HEAVILY]

-BE YOU AUSTEN?

-YES.

-I'M YOUR GRANDFATHER.

YOUR TRAIN WAS
AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.

-MY BOOKS ARE IN THAT.

HEAVY.
-JUST GET IN THE TRUCK.

[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC]

*

[FLIES BUZZING]

-GRANDPA, AM I A FRENCH WHORE?

WHAT IS A FRENCH WHORE?

-I'LL TELL YOU
WHEN YOU TURN 21.

WHO LIVES THERE?

-YOU?

-THE MEANEST OLD BASTARD
IN KINGDOM COUNTY.

THAT'S WHO.

NOW, REMEMBER THAT YOU
HEARD IT FIRST FROM ME.

-GRANDPA!

-I GOT WORK TO DO!

-HELLO.

-MY GOD, AREN'T YOU THE
SPITTING IMAGE OF THE DOOMED

YOUNG PHARAOH,
KING TUTANKHAMUN?

-THANKS?

-WELCOME, TUT.

WELCOME HOME.

THIS IS THE LIVING ROOM.

WE CALL IT NOVA SCOTIA.

[BUZZING SOUND]
OH, DAMN CLUSTER FLIES!

THEY'RE ON THE PROWL.

IT'S EARLY, TOO.

THE SWATTER IS IN THE PANTRY.

YOU'LL DO YOUR PART.

IT'S US OR THEM.

[SERENE PIANO MUSIC]

*

A LYNX, KITTREDGE.

SPENDS MOST OF HIS
DAYS RIGHT THERE, NOW.

-GRANDMA?

-EGYPT, TUT.

-NICE SPHINX.

-GREAT SPHINX.

FROM THE ANCIENT...

GREEK!

SPHINGO!

TO SQUEEZE!

LORD RA, THE SUN GOD.

HE'D KNOW THE SCORE.

YOU FOUND KING TUT.

SPITTING IMAGE, TOO.

IF THERE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS
ON TAP, I, YOU, AND HE WILL

DISCUSS IT HERE IN EGYPT.

ALRIGHT.

-SHOULDN'T WE CALL DAD?

-I TOLD HIM YOU'RE HERE.

GIVE HIM A COUPLE OF DAYS.

COME HELP ME FINISH SUPPER.

[SLURPS]

[BELCHES QUIETLY]

[SLURPS]

PERHAPS MR. KITTREDGE CAN
PUT THE NEWSPAPER DOWN.

MIGHT OCCUR TO HIM NOT TO
SET A BAD EXAMPLE FOR A BOY.

-AUSTEN, ASK YOUR GRANDMA IF
SHE'D PASS THE BUTTER IF IT'S

NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE.

-ASK HIM NOT TO
CALL ME GRANDMA.

I'M A MOTHER AND
A GRANDMOTHER.

NOT A GRANDMA.

YOU'RE WELCOME, MR. KITTREDGE.

COME, TUT.

LET'S SETTLE INTO YOUR ROOM.

THIS IS WHERE YOU'LL STAY.

CLOSE ENOUGH TO THE KITCHEN
THAT YOU WON'T GET LOST.

-IF I WASN'T HERE, WOULD YOU
AND GRANDPA EVEN TALK TO

EACH OTHER?

-NO.

[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC]

*

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

-ONE OF THESE DAYS...

THIS TICKER'S GOING TO GIVE
OUT ON A DIME, I'M GOING IN A

PINE BOX.

DON'T BE SURPRISED.

I LIKE BASSWOODS, AUSTEN.

EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK.

BUT I HATE THE GRAY BIRCH.

THEY'RE GOOD FOR
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

AND I WISH EVERY ONE OF
THEM WERE UP MIKE'S ASS.

-WHO'S MIKE?

-AH, HE'S A STAND-IN FOR
EVERYBODY THAT GETS ON MY

WICK.

-WHERE ARE WE GOING?

-WELL, IT'S NOT IMPORTANT
WHERE WE'RE GOING.

WHAT'S IMPORTANT
IS WHERE WE ARE.

AND WE ARE IN IDAHO.

THE BEST STAND OF WOODS
IN ALL OF KINGDOM COUNTY.

-WHY DO YOU CALL THIS IDAHO?

-I USED TO TRAVEL.

MRS. KITTREDGE PUT
A STOP TO ALL THAT.

NOW THE ONLY TIME I GET TO
TRAVEL IS COMING UP HERE TO

IDAHO.

WELL, THERE IT IS!

LABRADOR.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

ONE DAY WE'RE GOING TO SEE TO
IT THAT YOU GET TO SHOOT ONE

OF YOUR OWN.

AND I'LL PUT IT UP RIGHT
HERE WITH THE REST.

WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?

-YES SIR.

-YOUR DAD HADN'T BEEN UP HERE
TO HUNT WITH ME IN 20 YEARS.

HE'D RATHER HOLE UP IN SOME
DUSTY SCHOOLHOUSE, TEACHING A

BUNCH OF MAMA'S
BOYS HOW TO CIPHER.

-IS IT OKAY THAT MY
DAD COMES UP TO GET ME?

I CAME HERE ALONE
ON THE TRAIN AND...

I CAN GO BACK THE SAME WAY.

-COME OVER HERE.

I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

SEE THIS MAP?

I MARKED THE SPOTS WHERE YOUR
DAD AND I BAGGED OUR DEER.

-YOU MEAN SOME OF
THOSE HEADS ARE HIS?

-TWO OF THEM.

PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT, YEAR
YOU TURN 18 I'LL TAKE YOU UP

HERE FOR A SUMMER OF FISHING.

NOW, WE'RE GOING
INTO THE WOODS...

TEACH YOU HOW TO
HANDLE A RIFLE.

-I, I DON'T KNOW GRANDPA.

MAYBE ANOTHER DAY.

-BUTTON YOUR COAT.

WE ARE GOING.

-NO...

[SOMBER GUITAR MUSIC]

*

-WHO LIVES THERE?

-MEANEST OLD BASTARD
IN KINGDOM COUNTY.

-AND YOU REMEMBER, YOU
HEARD IT FIRST FROM ME.

[SERENE PIANO MUSIC]

*

-THE BA, TUT.

THAT PART OF YOUR SOUL THAT
MAKES YOU WHO YOU ARE AND

LIVES ON AFTER YOU'RE GONE.

-CAN I CALL DAD?

IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS.

-AFTER WE DO CHORES.

-[SNEEZES]

-BLESS YOU!

NOT YET.

-THERE'S MORE?

-YOU'VE GOTTA
CLEAN THEIR PENS!

-NO, GRANDMA.

-YES, TUT.

I'LL SET ASIDE A PORTION OF
MY WEEKLY EGG MONEY TO PAY FOR

YOUR COLLEGE EDUCATION.

SCOOP THE MANURE FROM UNDER
THE ROOSTS AND TAKE IT TO THE

COMPOST SPOT.

WE'LL HAVE THE BEST TOMATOES
IN THE COUNTY COME JULY.

THERE YOU GO.

[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

*

[ROTARY PHONE BUZZING]

-HELLO? DAD?

YEAH, YEAH. IT'S ME.

HEY, I, I JUST WANTED TO
KNOW IF YOU GOT MY LETTERS.

YES.

GRANDMA'S TAKING ME TO CHURCH
ON SUNDAY WHILE GRANDPA GOES

FISHING.

AND SHE SAYS SHE'LL
MAKE ME A BIRTHDAY CAKE.

HEY, LOOK.

YOU'RE STILL COMING UP, RIGHT?

WHEN?

NO, NO...

IT'S JUST THAT...

GRANDMA'S MAKING ME SCOOP UP
CHICKEN DUNG,

AND GRANDPA'S A S...

HE'S GOING TO DROP
DEAD ANY MINUTE!

AND...

I WANT TO GO HOME.

*

*

-DAD, THERE'S INTEREST
IN MY LATEST STORY.

AN EDITOR FROM THE SATURDAY
EVENING POST TOOK ME TO THE 21

CLUB FOR OYSTERS.

-WHO CARVED THE BIRD?

-DADDY, I HAVEN'T
TOLD YOU YET.

I WAS CAST IN AN
OFF-BROADWAY PLAY.

-SO, YOUR MOTHER.

I'LL HAVE THE LEG.

RAISE A COUPLE DAUGHTERS IN
THE WOODS OF A MOUNTAIN, THEY

BOTH END UP WITH THEIR
HEADS IN THE CLOUDS.

-LAY OFF, OLD MAN.

-REMIND YOUR GRANDFATHER
HE'S GOT THREE DAUGHTERS.

-I DON'T NEED TO BE REMINDED.

THE FBI STOPS BY TO REFRESH
MY MEMORY ON A REGULAR BASIS.

-ELIZABETH IS NO MORE A
BANK ROBBER THAN I AM MARIE

ANTOINETTE.

-CLEOPATRA, TELL
THEM ABOUT YOUR PART.

-UM, I'M PLAYING THE LEAD,
DOROTHY, IN TENNESSEE

WILLIAMS' "THE CASE OF
THE CRUSHED PETUNIAS."

-WELL, I GOT A
CRUSHED WATER WHEEL.

IT'S RAISING HELL
WITH MY SAWMILL.

IF I HAD ELECTRIC POWER, OR
A SON WHO COULD, UH, MANAGE A

FEW HAND TOOLS, I
MIGHT STAND A CHANCE.

-RED SOX SPRING
TRAINING STARTS SOON.

THEY GOT SOLOMON BACK.
-WANNA PASS THE
TURKEY DOWN HERE?

-SOME MEN IN THIS FAMILY
WORK FOR A LIVING.

DON'T HAVE TIME TO
STAND JABBERING.

-ROB WORKS.

- [SCOFFS]

SCHOOL TEACHERS WOULDN'T KNOW
WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO PUT IN A

FULL DAY'S WORK.

-DON'T INCITE TROUBLE.

-OH, ABSOLUTELY.

-IS SHE COMING BACK?

-NO.

-MR. KITTREDGE, YOUR SON IS NOT
JUST A SCHOOL TEACHER.

HE'S AN ASSISTANT HEADMASTER
AT A VERY RESPECTABLE

MASSACHUSETTS SCHOOL.

-SAYING A HEADMASTER ISN'T A
SCHOOL TEACHER IS LIKE SAYING

THAT A TROUT ISN'T A FISH.

- [LAUGHS LIGHTLY]

MOST PECULIAR MAN
I'VE EVER MET.

-HA!

THIS COMING FROM A WOMAN WHO
COLLECTS ANCIENT EGYPTIAN

TOENAIL CLIPPERS.

-AUSTEN, WILL YOU
SAY GRACE, PLEASE?

-GO AHEAD, TUT.

-OUR FATHER...

-OUR FATHER, BLESS THIS FOOD
FOR OUR USE AND US TO THY

SERVICE AMEN.

-AMEN.

-AND...

HELP DAD AND GRANDPA
LIKE EACH OTHER.

-JESUS!

[ABIAH LAUGHS]

-DID SHE PUT YOU
UP TO SAYING THAT?

-THAT WAS A WONDERFUL GRACE.

JUST RIGHT.

-OH FOR... JESUS CHRIST, LET
YOUR BROTHER

STAND UP FOR HIMSELF.

-NOW EVEN YOU MUST BE
SATISFIED, MR. KITTREDGE.

-NEXT TIME YOU HEAR FROM
ME, I'LL BE IN LABRADOR.

-IT'S THE BOY'S BIRTHDAY.

-BROUGHT YOU SOME FOOD.

-HAVE THEY BEEN TALKING
ABOUT ME DOWN THERE?

HASHING OVER MY SHORTCOMINGS?

-AFTER YOU LEFT, EVERYONE
VANISHED BUT CLEOPATRA.

I SHOULD PROBABLY GO.

DAD AND NEFERTITI ARE
GOING TO READ STORIES.

-IF THEY'RE NOT ALL OUT OF
HERE BY NOON CHORES, I'M GOING

TO READ THEM SOMETHING, AND
IT'S NOT GOING TO BE A STORY.

-WELL, WE'LL PROBABLY
BE OUT OF HERE.

DAD WANTS TO GET
HOME BEFORE DARK.

AFTER BREAKFAST, I WAS
GOING TO OPEN SOME BIRTHDAY

PRESENTS.

-I NEVER EXCHANGED PRESENTS
WITH ANYONE IN MY LIFE.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

-I DO.

-I GOTTA GO, GRANDPA.

MAYBE WE CAN GO
HUNTING SOMEDAY.

-AUSTEN, UP HERE!

-[STAMMERS] I GOTTA DO CHORES.

-NO, COME UP HERE.

YOU'VE GOTTA TELL MOM.

-WHY?

-THESE ARE FAMILY SECRETS.

-FAMILY SECRETS?

-GO AHEAD.

YOU WANT TO SHARE MOM'S
STORY WITH THE WORLD.

-OKAY, YOUR GRANDMOTHER, AND
HER SISTER ELIZABETH, LANDED

IN CAPE BRETON WHEN
THEY WERE REAL LITTLE.

AND THEY TOOK ON ALL SORTS OF
HORRIBLE FARMING AND FACTORY

JOBS, EVEN THOUGH
THEY WERE STILL GIRLS.

AND THIS SHIP THAT THEY CAME
OVER ON WAS AN EGYPTIAN SHIP.

-DID THEY HAVE PARENTS?

-NO, THEIR PARENTS HAD DIED.

HERE, LISTEN.

"TWO ORPHANED SISTERS, SIX
YEAR-OLD ABIAH AND EIGHT

YEAR-OLD ELIZABETH, SLEPT IN
THE CRAMPED AND AIRLESS BOWELS

OF THE OCEAN GOING FREIGHTER.

SIDE-BY-SIDE NEXT TO HUNDRED
OF CONTORTED AND MANGLED

MUMMIES DUG UP FROM ANCIENT
EGYPTIAN BURIAL GROUNDS, THE

MUMMIES WERE NOW BEING USED TO
STOKE THE FIRES

AND POWER THE SHIP."

-PLEASE, KEEP HIM HERE.

-WHAT'S GOING ON?

-I LOST MY JOB.

I NEED TIME.

I DON'T WANT HIM TO
SEE ME LIKE THIS.

[SOUND OF CAR DRIVING AWAY]

[KNOCKING AT THE DOOR]

-I'VE GOT TO PRUNE
THESE APPLE TREES.

COME BACK!

TUT...

I SIT OUT HERE SOMETIMES IN...

FALL AND SPRING.

SOMETIMES I HEAR WILD GEESE
THAT HAVE LOST THEIR MATES.

THEY CIRCLE AT
NIGHT, CALLING...

NOT EVEN AWARE OF
WHAT'S MISSING.

JUST THAT IT'S MISSED.

-YOU LIKE FAIRS?

-YES.

-WELL, IF WE MAKE IT TO MAY,
AND YOU WORK REAL HARD AND

GENERALLY PAN OUT, I'LL STAKE
YOU TO A DAY

AT THE MAPLE FESTIVAL.

WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?

-I'D LIKE THAT.

-YOU'RE HIRED.

AS YOU KNOW, I DISLIKE
SCHOOL TEACHERS IN GENERAL.

[SCOFFS] AND WELL...

THAT ARE IN OUR OWN
FAMILY IN PARTICULAR.

NOW I WANT YOU TO
PROVE ME WRONG.

GO OUT THERE AND GET YOURSELF
AN EDUCATION THAT NEVER STANDS

IN THE WAY OF YOUR
ACTUAL DOING REAL WORK.

-I'LL TRY, GRANDPA.

-OH SIGH NOT SO, FOR IT SOUNDS
OF EVE'S SWEET PIPPIN;

BY THESE LOOSEN'D LIPS, YOU HAVE
TASTED THE PIPS AND FOUGHT IN

AN AMOROUS NIPPING.

[KISSY NOISES]

[GIGGLING]

WHO ARE YOU?

-I'M NEW.

AUSTEN KITTREDGE.

-IS MEAN-OLD AUSTEN
KITTREDGE YOUR FATHER?

-MY GRANDFATHER.

AND HE'S NOT THAT MEAN.

-I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOUR
WORD FOR IT, BUT REALLY.

HE'S MEAN.

-WHERE'S THE TEACHER?

-HEADY HILL NAILED
HER INTO THE PRIVY.

-WHO'S HEADY HILL?

-SHE'S IN HER THIRD YEAR OF
SEVENTH GRADE, AND SHE'S NOT

HAPPY ABOUT IT.

-SO THE TEACHER'S IN THE...

PRIVY?

-SINCE YESTERDAY LUNCH RECESS.

[KNOCKING]

IT'S ME, MRS. ARMSTRONG.

THERESA DUBOIS.

-GO TO MY FORD.

GET THE TIRE IRON
OFF THE FRONT SEAT.

-I'LL MAKE A RUN FOR IT.

[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]

*

-GO!

*

[WOOD CREAKS]

-IT'S EITHER YOU
OR ME, HEADY HILL.

I'LL BE DAMNED IF I SET FOOT
IN THAT CLASSROOM IF YOU ARE

WITHIN THREE MILES OF IT.

[SLINGSHOT BAND WHISTLES]

-AUSTEN!

DO YOU KNOW ABOUT
THE VOLGA RIVER?

-YEAH, WHY?

-WE HAVE A GEOGRAPHY
BEE COMING UP.

MY SOCKS ITCH.

AND WELL...

WE KIND OF NEED
YOU ON OUR TEAM.

-WANT A RIDE?

-I GUESS.

-AUSTEN!

GET BACK UP HERE!

CHRIST...

THEY'RE LIVING IN THAT
OLD TATRO TRACTOR SHED.

IT USED TO BE A CABIN.

NOW THAT'S GONE.

-HOW DO YOU KNOW THEM?

-I DON'T.

I JUST SEE THEM AROUND.

-BUMPER STEVENS
OWNS THAT SHACK.

-TELL YOUR GRANDFATHER
BUMPER STEVENS IS A CROOK.

THE TATRO PLACE...

A HOVEL.

UNFIT FOR HUMAN HABITATION.

BUT THEY'LL PAY HIM
EVERY NICKEL THEY HAVE.

-NOBODY MAKING MUCH PROFIT
OFF THAT TRACTOR SHED.

-BUMPER STEVEN IS.

THEY'RE PROBABLY STARVING
TO DEATH EATING POTATOES.

TUT, TELL HIM.

-YOU WANT TO ASK ADLAI STEVENSON
WHAT SHE PROPOSES TO DO

ABOUT IT?

IF THEY STARVE, SO BE IT.

-WELL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

-IF I RUN ACROSS A DYING
ANIMAL IN THE WOODS...

I DON'T PROLONG ITS SUFFERING.

I WOULDN'T PROLONG THEIRS.

[SOMBER GUITAR MUSIC]

*

[GRINDING NOISE]

-WHY DO YOU GET NASTY

WHENEVER WE TALK ABOUT
THERESA'S FAMILY?

-'CAUSE I KNOW THESE PEOPLE.

I SEE THEM EVERYWHERE.

EVERY DUMB FRENCHMAN'S
JOKE IS ABOUT EXACTLY THEM.

-THERESA'S FRENCH?

OF COURSE.

DUBOIS.

SHE MAY NOT HAVE AN ACCENT,
BUT BOTH HER PARENTS DO.

-IS THAT WHY YOU HATE GRANDMA?

IS SHE FRENCH?

-GET THE RIFLE.

WE'RE GOING INTO THE WOODS.

WHAT I'M GOING TO TELL YOU
IS JUST BETWEEN YOU AND ME.

THERE WAS A GIRL...

SHE WAS THE DAUGHTER OF
A BLUE-EYED INUIT CHIEF.

IN LABRADOR.

-DO YOU HAVE A PHOTO?

-LET ME DO THE TALKING, OKAY?

WHEN I FIRST MET HER, SHE
WAS PROBABLY A COUPLE YEARS

YOUNGER THAN ME.

MAYBE 19.

I COULD NEVER GET MY TONGUE
AROUND HER NAME IN INUIT, BUT

IT MEANT "MIRAGE."

SO I CALLED HER MIRA.

THERE WERE THINGS BETWEEN US
THAT ONLY HAPPEN ONCE IN A

LIFETIME.

WE'D TRACK UPRIVER SOME
DAYS, SNOWSHOE A TRAP LINE.

GO FOR HOURS WITHOUT EVER
SPEAKING A WORD,

AND IT DIDN'T MATTER.

WE NEVER MARRIED.

BUT BETWEEN SHE AND I, WE
ALWAYS FELT WE WERE

MAN AND WIFE.

-I UNDERSTAND.

-WELL, THEN YOU
WON'T BE SURPRISED.

COME WINTER, SHE WAS PREGNANT.

AND THAT WAS FINE WITH US.

AND THEN, IN THE SUMMER WHEN
IT CAME TIME FOR HER TO HAVE

THE BABY...

THINGS WENT WRONG.

THE BABY DIED.

AND THE NEXT DAY...

SHE DIED.

I LOOKED DOWN AT HER.

[SIGHS]

AND THEN SHE SAID
THE WORDS THAT...

SHE HAD TAKEN TO CALLING ME.

THEN SHE WAS GONE.

QUICK.

BEFORE I KNEW IT HAPPENED.

IT WAS A BOY BABY, AUSTEN.

A BOY.

I BURIED THEM TOGETHER.

GOT IN A CANOE.

CAME BACK DOWN TO VERMONT.

FEW MONTHS LATER, I
MARRIED YOUR GRANDMOTHER.

-AND DOES GRANDMA
KNOW ABOUT ALL THIS?

-UNTIL NOW, SHE'S THE ONLY
OTHER PERSON I'VE EVER TOLD

THIS STORY TO.

-AND SHE WASN'T MAD?

-SHE WAS ANGRY ABOUT
EVERYTHING I DID.

BEFORE AND AFTER.

BUT I CAN TELL YOU ONE THING
ABOUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER AND ME.

SHE WILL NEVER BE MIRA.

AND I'LL NEVER BE THE FELLA
THAT SHE WANTED TO SPEND HER

LIFE WITH.

BUT WE'VE ABIDED EACH OTHER.

WE DON'T AGREE ON MUCH, BUT
WE'VE LASTED FIFTY YEARS.

OH, ONE THING.

NOT A WORD TO YOUR
FATHER OR THE GIRLS.

-OKAY.

-OKAY.

[GROANS]

-GRAMP?

GRAMP, WHAT WAS THE
NAME THAT MIRA GAVE YOU?

THE ONE SHE CALLED YOU?

RIGHT AT...

BEFORE SHE WENT.

-SHE CALLED ME

"THE FELLOW WHO NEVER SMILES,

EXCEPT WHEN HE LOOKS AT ME."

-$42,000.

SHE ROBBED A BANK, AUSTEN.

LIZ KITTREDGE.

YOUR AUNT.

I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD.

-I DON'T KNOW.

-WELL EVERYBODY ELSE DOES.

THE MONEY'S BURIED.

-ARE YOU SURE?

-LET'S CLOSE OUR EYES AND
PICTURE WHERE IT MIGHT BE...

-WE'LL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL.

-DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

-AHH, I HAVEN'T HAD A
SODA POP IN TWO MONTHS.

GRANDPA!

WAIT!

THAT'S OUR COW.

-I'M TOLD THAT AUSTEN
KITTREDGE FANCIES HIMSELF AS

AN EXPERT READER.

THERESA DUBOIS, WHAT IS
THE EXPERT READER UP TO?

COME REPORT TO ME NOW.

-OLD MAN AND THE SEA.

-WHAT'S THAT?

-I DON'T KNOW.

-FIND OUT.

-AUSTEN, THE ARM WANTS TO
KNOW WHAT'S YOUR BOOK ABOUT?

-FISHING.

-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

-JUST REMEMBERING YOU LOCKED
IN THAT PRIVY, WHIFFING ALL

THAT'S PILED UP IN THERE.

-YOU WANT ANOTHER GO-AROUND?

I'LL GIVE YOU A
RUN FOR YOUR MONEY.

-BETTER RUN FAST, TOO, 'CAUSE
I GOT THE KEYS TO YOUR JALOPY.

[KEYS JINGLE]

[GIGGLES]

-EYES IN YOUR BOOK, GIRL.

-WE GET THE PICTURE.

NOW IT'S TIME TO
STUDY OUR LATIN.

-I DON'T KNOW MUCH LATIN.

NEVER HAD MUCH CALL FOR IT.

-MRS. ARMSTRONG DOESN'T KNOW HER
LATIN.

-BUT SHE'S GOT A
MIND FOR DISCIPLINE.

YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE HER THAT.

-IT'S LIKE A WAR.

-FOR ONCE, IT LOOKS
LIKE SCHOOL IS UH...

PREPARING YOU FOR LIFE.

-LIFE OF OPPOSING
TYRANNY, I'D SAY.

WHICH IS WORTH LEARNING,
BUT ONLY IF YOU CAN PREVAIL.

WINNING IS ALL, TUT.

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN
BY THAT, GRAM?

-A TEACHER WITH NO LATIN, TUT,
IS LIKE A BLIND MAN

FLYING AN AIRPLANE.

HE MIGHT LAND IT, BUT IT'LL BE
DUMB LUCK, AND HE WON'T KNOW

HOW IT HAPPENED.

FROM NOW ON, I'LL WORK
YOU ON YOUR CICERO.

AND MR. KITTREDGE CAN,
UH, REVEAL WHAT HE KNOWS.

-GRAMP KNOWS PLENTY.

HE TAUGHT ME ABOUT MAPS,
TREES, ANIMALS, GUNS, AND THE

HISTORY OF WHISKEY SMUGGLING.

-OH, GOD HELP US.

I'LL SET YOU STRAIGHT ON
SHAKESPEARE, THE BIBLE,

HORTICULTURE, AND INSECTS.

BEGINNING WITH THE DAMN
CLUSTER FLIES WHO TAKE SO MUCH

DELIGHT IN VEXING ME.

YOUR GRANDFATHER AND I WILL
GET YOU THROUGH THE YEAR.

THEN YOUR FATHER CAN TAKE
IT FROM THERE IN JUNE.

-DAD'S NOT COMING 'TIL JUNE?

-IF AT ALL.

I DON'T EXPECT HIM TO SHOW HIS
FACE HERE ANY MORE THAN THE

MAN IN THE MOON.

-OR NAPOLEON AT WATERLOO.

NAPOLEON SHOWED UP JUST
IN TIME TO GET HIS FINAL

COMEUPPANCE.

MR. KITTREDGE, TAKE NOTICE.

-[LAUGHS]

BULL AND JAM, WOMAN.

-GRANDPA TOLD ME ABOUT MIRA.

-WIND THE CLOCKS.

-GRAM, ARE YOU MAD...

ABOUT MIRA?

-YOUR GRANDFATHER
TELLS A GOOD STORY.

HIS STORY.

BUT I'M HERE TOO.

-DIDN'T IT...

HAPPEN BEFORE
YOU WERE MARRIED?

-ARE YOU PROPOSING WE
DISCUSS THE NATURE OF TIME?

HOW LONG DOES LOVE LAST?

WHAT WILL A WOMAN
OR MAN DO FOR LOVE?

-HE DIDN'T TELL ME THAT.

-ASK HIM.

-T.S. ELIOT CAN SET YOU STRAIGHT
ON YOUR QUANDARY ABOUT TIME.

-HOW?

-IF ALL TIME IS ETERNALLY
PRESENT, ALL TIME IS

UNREDEEMABLE.

YOU CAN'T GO BACK, BUT TIME
PAST IS ALWAYS PRESENT.

-SOUNDS LIKE A RIDDLE.

-MM.

THINK ABOUT IT.

-[LAUGHS LIGHTLY]

[SIGHS]

[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC]

*

-SAP FLOWS WHEN DAYTIME
TEMPERATURES SHOOT ABOVE

FREEZING AND
NIGHTTIME GETS COLD.

THE SAP RISES UP
FROM THE ROOTS.

MR. KITTREDGE WORKS
THE NORTHERN SLOPE.

WE'LL SEE WHO WINS
THE MAPLE FESTIVAL.

-YOU COMPETE?

-TO WIN IS ALL, TUT.

DRILL TWO MORE HOLES.

-TELL MRS. KITTREDGE THAT
IF SHE HAS A FULL-TIME

ASSISTANT...

I DON'T STAND A CHANCE.

I SAY CALL THE CONTEST OFF.

-I CAN HELP YOU TOO, GRAMP,
AS LONG AS I'M NOT GOING TO

SCHOOL.

-HELP HIM.

'TIL THE HORSE COMES
HOME ON ROLLER SKATES.

I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR
GRANDFATHER TRYING TO WIGGLE

OUT A LITTLE
EVEN-HANDED COMPETITION.

-I'VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO
THAN TO COUNT MY BLUE RIBBONS.

NO SNOW.

IT'S GOING TO BE A BAD
SUGAR SEASON, BUT...

COMPETITION SHE WANTS...

THEN THAT'S WHAT SHE'LL GET.

[PEACEFUL GUITAR MUSIC]

LET'S TRY THIS ONE.

YOU KNOW THE MAPLE CONTEST
DOESN'T REALLY MEAN ANYTHING

TO ME.

HERE.

NOW MOVE OVER.

JUST TO THE LEFT.

TWO TAPS PER TREE.

-GRAM SAYS WINNING
IS EVERYTHING.

-WELL...

THAT'S WHY WE'RE GOING
TO WORK OUR BUTTS OFF.

TO GET THIS YEAR'S PRIZE.

THAT'S GOOD.

-YOU GAVE THERESA'S
FAMILY A COW.

-THERESA DOESN'T HAVE
MUCH FAMILY, AUSTEN.

HER FATHER DIED.

MOTHER TALKS A MILE A MINUTE.

I DON'T THINK I
EVEN GOT A WORD.

-WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

-'CAUSE WE'VE GOT
PLENTY OF COWS.

ONE LESS I HAVE TO
WRANGLE EVERY DAY.

-MEANEST OLD BASTARD
IN KINGDOM COUNTY...

HOW ARE THEY GOING TO FEED IT?

-THEY CAN'T.

I LEFT THEM ALL SOME HAY.

BUT COME NEXT SPRING,
THEY'RE ON THEIR OWN.

-DID AUNT LIZ ROB A BANK?

-[LAUGHS]

IF SHE DIDN'T, SHE
SURE AS HELL SHOULD'VE.

NOW THAT'S GOOD.

[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC]

*

NOT QUITE.

-WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

-LIGHT COLOR AND TASTE.

EXTRA FANCY'S WHAT WE CALL IT.

RIGHT OFF THE TOP
OF THE FIRST RUN.

SHALLOW SAP.

HOT FIRE, THEN...

TIN PANS.

WE'LL EDGE OUT ABIAH.

YOU WATCH.

YOUR WORK ON THE FARM HAS
BEEN BETTER THAN AVERAGE.

AND HERE'S YOUR PAY.

-TEN DOLLARS!

-AND YOU CAN...

SAVE IT OR YOU CAN...

BINGE OUT AT THE FESTIVAL
LIKE SOME DRUNKEN LUMBERJACK.

I DON'T CARE WHICH.

-THANKS GRANDPA.

-YOU EARNED IT.

-HEY AUSTEN!

AREN'T YOU EVER
COMING BACK TO SCHOOL?

NO.

I DON'T THINK SO.

-I TAKE BACK WHAT I
SAID ABOUT YOUR GRANDPA.

HE'S NOT REALLY THAT BAD.

EXCEPT BUMPER STEVENS TOOK
YOUR COW FOR BACK RENT.

-WHAT DO YOU DO FOR MILK?

-DID YOU FIND THE BANK MONEY?

-I'VE BEEN WALKING
AROUND, LOOKING.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START!

-COME ON.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

*

[MAKING AIRPLANE NOISES]

*

-SOMETHING'S STEALING
EGGS FROM THE COOP!

-WHAT ABOUT THE HENS?

DID YOU COUNT THEM?

-NO GRAM.

[HENS CLUCKING]

[QUIETLY COUNTING]

-WHICH ONE OF THESE DOES YOUR
GRANDFATHER USE FOR...

BIRDS?
-YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE GUNS!

-NO, I DON'T.

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO
OPERATE THIS WEAPON?

TELL ME, HOW DOES IT FIRE?

-IT'S A BIG GUN, GRANDMA.

-SHOW ME.

-WELL, YOU LOOK DOWN THE
CENTER, THEN YOU PULL THIS

TRIGGER FOR THIS BARREL, AND
THIS TRIGGER FOR THIS BARREL.

-MM.

NOW RUN INSIDE AND GET
US SOME WARM WRAPS.

YOU AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER
HAVE A JOB TO DO.

-MOVING OUT?

-NO, GRANDMA AND I ARE
SLEEPING IN THE HEN HOUSE.

-BOTH MOVING OUT.

I'M SHOOTING THE
FIRST THING I SEE.

-H...

HOW DO YOU KNOW
WHICH ANIMAL DID IT?

-I DON'T.

COULD BE A WEASEL.

MOUNTAIN CAT.

COYOTE.

RACCOON.

LYNX, SKUNK, POSSUM, SQUIRREL.

CHICKENS AND EGGS ARE TASTY.

I THINK IT'S A SNOW OWL.

COULD BE A BEAR.

[CHICKENS CLUCK]

-A BEAR COULD FIT IN HERE?

-THESE HENS ARE YOUR
TICKET TO COLLEGE.

WE SHOOT TO KILL.

[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

[SNAKE HISSING]

-HM?
-SHH!

THERE, NOW WE KNOW!

I LOATHE SERPENTS
OF ANY STRIPE.

GRANDMA, NO NO NO!

IT'S A SNAKE!

THEY EAT RATS!

-LOOK ME IN THE EYE, SATAN.

[GUNSHOT]

[CHICKENS CLUCK WILDLY]

HELP YOUR GRANDMOTHER UP.

WE FINISHED HIM, TUT.

HE'S NOT GOING TO BE KILLING
ANY MORE CHICKENS AND KEEPING

BOYS AWAY FROM COLLEGE.

-YOU'RE NOT AFRAID
OF ANYTHING, GRANDMA.

-I WAS TERRIFIED
HALF TO DEATH.

TUT, BEING BRAVE HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH BEING UNAFRAID.

NEVER FORGET IT.

YOU GO DISPOSE OF THE BEAST.

-SO, GRAM AND THE SNAKE WERE
LOOKING AT EACH OTHER FOR A

LONG TIME.

-I IMAGINE THEY DID.

-DEAR MR. KITTREDGE,

IF ANY MORE VIPERS COME
SASHAYING DOWN HERE FROM UP ON

HIS HILL, THEIR SASHAYING
DAYS WILL END ON THE SPOT.

YOU MAY INFORM THEM I SAID SO.

-WHY DOESN'T SHE
INFORM THEM HERSELF.

THAT WAY THEY'D
KNOW SHE MEANT IT.

BY THE WAY, TELL YOUR
GRANDMOTHER THE MEN FROM THE

ELECTRIC COMPANY
WILL BE HERE MONDAY.

CHECK THE LAY OF THE
LAND FOR THE POWER WIRES.

-POWER WIRES?

TO WHAT?

FROM WHAT?

THROUGH WHAT?

-FROM THE POWER POLES
THEY'LL DIG INTO TO THE GROUND.

RUN A LINE, SAME AS
ALWAYS, ALONG THE ROAD.

-THROUGH MY ORCHARD?

-THEY'LL HAVE TO
GET TO THE HOUSE.

THEY'LL RUN A LINE TO THE
HOUSE AND ONE TO MY SAWMILL.

-WHO THE HELL'S IDEA IS THIS?

- EVERYBODY IN KINGDOM COUNTY
IS TYING INTO THE POWER GRID,

AND THAT INCLUDES US.

-PRECISELY MY POINT.

-WHAT POINT IS THAT, GRAM?

WELL, JUST SO THAT
I CAN TRANSLATE IT.

-NO TRANSLATION IS NEEDED.

-ASK MRS. KITTREDGE HOW HER
ANCIENT COMRADES MANAGED TO

BUILD MONUMENTS TO THEMSELVES
UNDERGROUND WITH NO LIGHT.

-SAME WAY WE HAVE, TUT.

OIL LAMPS.

-OR TYING INTO THE POWER GRID.

THAT'S THE BEGINNING
AND THE END OF IT.

THEY'LL BE HERE THE
DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

[KNOCKING AT THE DOOR]

-COME IN, TUT.

-GRAM...

WE HAVE PLENTY OF
ELECTRICITY IN DEERFIELD.

IT'S PRETTY GOOD.

-IF YOU GET STARTED ON
TELEVISION, YOU'LL BE BANISHED

FROM THIS HOUSE.

-I'VE SEEN TELEVISION.

-WHAT HAVE YOU SEEN
ON TELEVISION, TUT?

-HOWDY DOODY.

-WHO'S HE?

-HE'S A COWBOY WITH FRECKLES,
AND HE'S TWO FEET TALL.

-PRETTY SHORT.

-AND THEN THERE'S FLUBADUB,
AND SHE'S HALF DUCK,

HALF GIRAFFE.

-COME WITH ME.

[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC]

*

I REFUSE TO BE WIRED TO
ELECTRICITY OR ANYTHING ELSE.

-DID EGYPTIAN KIDS HAVE FUN?

-OF COURSE! THEY PLAYED
LEAPFROG.

-THAT'S ALL?

-I'M AGITATED TONIGHT.

-I CAN SEE THAT.

AND WHY ARE YOU
SO KEEN ON EGYPT?

NEFERTITI SAID YOU CAME OVER
IN A BOAT THAT CHUCKED FLAMING

MUMMIES INTO A BOILER.

-SO IT'S COMMON KNOWLEDGE NOW.

-DID YOU EVER HAVE NIGHTMARES?

-OF COURSE I DO.

EVERYONE DOES.

-I WOULD'VE BEEN
SCARED FOR LIFE.

-THOSE MUMMIES...

COULDN'T BE DESTROYED.

PEOPLE DID THE WORST TO THEM.

YANKING THEM FROM THE GROUND,
USING THEM TO STOW COAL.

BUT SOMETHING OF THEM
REMAINED, AND IT ENDURES

STILL.

-YOU WERE AN ORPHAN.

-MANY PEOPLE ARE.

DON'T DWELL ON IT!

GOOD NIGHT, TUT.

[SOMBER GUITAR MUSIC]

*

-THE SHERIFF IS COMING!

HE'S HERE NOW!

-THAT'S ALL?

-WHAT DO YOU KEEP IN
THAT TRUNK, GRANDPA?

-THAT'S PRIVATE.

-IT'S PASTOR KITTREDGE.

- [CHUCKLES]

HE'S ALSO THE SHERIFF.

AND THE UNDERTAKER.

[KNOCKING AT THE DOOR]

-AFTERNOON, COUSIN.

I HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH
DELIVERING YOU THIS SUMMONS TO

APPEAR IN COURT
TOMORROW AT 10 A.M.

FOR A CIVIL PROCEEDING
IN THE CASE

OF KITTREDGE VS. KITTREDGE.

AIN'T NOTHING PERSONAL.

-NEITHER IS THIS

[DYNAMITE HISSES]
-D...WHAT DO YOU MEAN!

DISPOSE...

[EXPLOSION]

-I COULD GO FOR A NUMBER
10 CAN OF PEACHES.

[SLURPS]

-SO...

YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO COURT TOMORROW?

-OH, WE'RE ALL GOING
TO COURT TOMORROW.

IT'S ONE THING TO BLOW
UP A TWO-BIT SHERIFF.

IT'S A WHOLE 'NOTHER THING FOR
A MAN TO TURN DOWN A SUMMONS.

YOU DON'T DO IT.

TELL YOUR GRANDMOTHER THAT
WE'LL ALL BE GONE ABOUT

FIVE AFTER NINE.

[CHUCKLES]

KITTREDGE VS. KITTREDGE.

COULD BE INTERESTING.

THE BENCH.

WHAT KIND OF WOOD'S
IT MADE OUT OF?

-UHH, ROCK MAPLE.

-FLOOR?

-WHITE PINE.

-ALL RISE!

SUPERIOR COURT OF KINGDOM
COUNTY IS NOW IN SESSION.

JUDGE FORREST ALLEN PRESIDING
IN THE CASE OF

KITTREDGE VS. KITTREDGE.

-SIT DOWN FOLKS.

WE'LL DISPENSE WITH
THE FORMALITIES.

AFTER ALL, WE'RE FRIENDS.

THE PLAINTIFF, MRS. ABIAH
KITTREDGE, REQUESTS A

PERMANENT INJUNCTION TO
PREVENT THE DEFENDANT, AUSTEN

KITTREDGE, FROM CONTRACTING
ELECTRICAL SERVICES TO THEIR

FARM.

-UH, YES YOUR HONOR.

ELECTRICAL SERVICE POSES A
THREAT TO THE FAMILY'S SAFETY

AND PROPERTY, AND THE LINES
RUN THROUGH MRS. KITTREDGE'S

APPLE ORCHARD.

-HOW MANY APPLE TREES
DO YOU HAVE, ABIAH?

-22.

HERE'S THE LIST.

-TEMOVSKY, FAMEUSE,
SMOKEHOUSE...

I HAVEN'T ENCOUNTERED
THESE BEAUTIES IN YEARS.

SO, ABIAH, LAYING
THE POWER LINES

WOULD DESTROY YOUR OLD APPLE
TREES?

-I WOULDN'T BE HERE OTHERWISE.

PLUS, TOO MANY FARMHOUSES IN
VERMONT HAVE CAUGHT FIRE FROM

BAD WIRING, AND I DON'T INTEND
TO BURN TO A CRISP WHILE

ASLEEP ON MY BED.

NOT TO MENTION THE COST, WHICH
WE CAN ILL AFFORD, NOR WOULD I

CONDONE THE INVASION OF A
TELEVISION SET IN OUR HOME,

WHICH WOULD TURN MY
GRANDSON INTO A SLUG.

-SO, IS THAT THE CASE?

AUSTEN, DID YOU INTEND TO
UPROOT YOUR WIFE'S

APPLE TREES?

-I INTEND TO CONDUCT MY
DAIRY AND SAW MILL OPERATIONS

WITHOUT INTERRUPTION.

I'M NOT A RICH MAN, BUT I NEED
ELECTRICITY LIKE EVERY OTHER

FARM IN THIS COUNTY.

-WHAT ABOUT YOUR WIFE'S CLAIM?

WOULD YOUR POWER LINES
DESTROY YOUR TREES?

-I SUSPECT IT WILL.

A FEW OF 'EM. WHAT OF IT?

THOSE TREES ARE GONE BY.

MRS. KITTREDGE KNOWS THAT.

GOOD FOR A LITTLE CIDER
MAYBE, BUT THAT'S IT!

WHY SHOULD HER APPLES BE MORE
IMPORTANT THAN THE SAWMILL?

-I DIDN'T SAY THEY WERE.

OR FOR THAT MATTER,
THAT THEY WEREN'T.

-ARE YOU GOING TO PERMIT HIM
TO DECIMATE MY APPLE ORCHARD

AND BURN ME ALIVE?

-AUSTEN...

I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU AND
ABIAH A WRITTEN RULING ON

THURSDAY, BUT I
WON'T MAKE YOU WAIT.

AUSTEN CAN HAVE ELECTRICITY
IN HIS SAWMILL AND BARN IF HE

LAYS THE ELECTRIC LINES
UNDERGROUND, OR IN ANY WAY

THAT PRESERVES ABIAH'S ORCHARD
AND GARDEN, BUT ONLY IF HE CAN

ACCOMPLISH THAT.

-BUT WHAT ABOUT MY
RASPBERRY BUSHES?

THEY'RE, THEY'RE
PRETTY MUCH EVERYWHERE.

-YOU MAY LOSE A FEW BUSHES,
BUT IF HE CAN DO AS I SAY,

AUSTEN CAN BRING
THE ELECTRICITY IN.

-HOW LONG DO YOU PLAN TO GIVE
MR. KITTREDGE A BLANK CHECK,

AND HOW THE HELL
WILL HE PAY FOR IT?

-ONCE YOU LAY THE LINES,
THE POWER'S THERE.

HOW YOU PAY IS FOR YOU AND
MR. KITTREDGE TO DETERMINE,

BUT I WILL RULE THAT THE JUICE
CANNOT BE STRUNG

INTO THE HOUSE.

-SAYS WHO?

-I'VE DECIDED IN
YOUR FAVOR, ABIAH.

IF YOU DON'T WANT IT,
YOU GET YOUR SAY-SO.

-REST ASSURED, JUDGE ALLEN, IF
I WANT ELECTRIC IN MY HOUSE,

I'LL GET IT.

IF I DON'T, I WON'T.

GOOD DAY.

-MM.

WE'LL SEE.

[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC]

*

[MACHINE WHIRRS]

[SAWING SOUND]

[ELECTRICAL HUMMING]

-YOU CAN'T PREDICT
THE FUTURE, TUT.

BUT TIMES ARE CHANGING,
WE CAN COUNT ON THAT.

-ARE YOU HAPPY, GRAM?

-HAPPY?

HAVING YOU HERE
MAKES ME HAPPY.

I'M GOING TO BAKE SOME PIE,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP THE

CLUSTER FLIES AT BAY.

-YES MA'AM.

KITTREDGE RESIDENCE.

-WHO'S THIS?

-UH, AUSTEN
KITTREDGE THE SECOND.

-HELLO, AUSTEN
KITTREDGE THE SECOND.

THIS IS LIZ
KITTREDGE-JAMES THE FIRST.

-I'VE HEARD ABOUT YOU.

-I'M SURE YOU HAVE.

I SEEM TO BE THE ONLY
ACCUSED BANK ROBBER IN TOWN.

CAN YOU DRIVE?

[RELAXED GUITAR MUSIC]

*

-SO, WHY DID YOU LEAVE TOWN?

I MEAN, EXCEPT FOR BEING
WANTED FOR BANK ROBBERY,

THAT IS.

-NOBODY EVER PINNED
A THING ON ME.

I WILL SHOW YOU
MY GUN LATER, SON.

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD.

-I KNOW THE STORY.

-AH, DO YOU REALLY?

WELL TELL ME.

-MAY 3RD, 1952.

A SINGLE MASKED BANDIT, AROUND
NOON AND ABOUT YOUR SIZE,

CARRYING A PEARL-HANDLED
REVOLVER, HELD UP A BANK.

-I DECLARE.

-WORD IS, YOU GOT AWAY
SCOT-FREE WITH MORE THAN

$42,000.

-WHAT DID I DO WITH THE LOOT?

-BURIED IT.

-WHERE?

-THE FARM.

-IS IT STILL THERE?

-FOSTER JAMES, A MAN WITH A
GORGEOUS GLASS EYE AND A NOSE

FOR ADVENTURE.

THE GREAT GRANDSON
OF JESSE JAMES.

-THE GREAT GRANDSON
OF JESSE JAMES?

HE'S YOUR HUSBAND?

-EX-HUSBAND.

-SO ARE WE GOING
TO RIDE THE HORSE?

-MAYBE LATER.

-I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE.

-I CALL IT FORT KITTREDGE.

I USED TO BRING BOYFRIENDS UP
HERE AFTER DARK TO SCARE THEM.

COME OVER HERE.

NOW, SIR...

ARE YOU AFRAID OF
TIGHT, DARK PLACES?

-YES.

-WELL YOU'VE GOT TO GET OVER
THAT FEAR, BECAUSE ONE OF US

HAS TO GO DOWN THERE, AND
IT'S NOT GOING TO BE ME.

-WHAT'S DOWN THERE?

-GOD KNOWS.

ALRIGHT.

DOWN YOU GO.

-WAIT WAIT WAIT!

SO, IF I, IF I GO

AND HELP YOU GET
THIS LOOT...

COULD I GO TO JAIL?

OR WILL YOU CUT ME IN
ON SOME OF THE MONEY?

-WHAT MONEY?

-YOU MEAN I'M NOT GOING
DOWN THAT HOLE FOR MONEY?

-NO, THIS IS ABOUT
AN EX-HUSBAND.

-ANOTHER EX-HUSBAND?

-W-WELL, WE NEVER
DID GET DIVORCED.

LEGALLY SPEAKING, IF HE'S
ALIVE AND I CAN FIND HIM,

WE'RE STILL YOKED TOGETHER.

HARTLEY STONE WAS HIS NAME.

AND STONE IS WHAT HIS
HEART WAS MADE OF.

OFF TO THE CATHOUSES IN BUTTE
EVERY TIME I TURNED MY BACK.

-I'M ASSUMING A CATHOUSE ISN'T
REALLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE.

-OH, I'M, I'M AFRAID THEY ARE.

UH...

-BUT WAIT, WHY AM I GOING INTO
THIS HOLE FOR YOUR EX-HUSBAND?

-BECAUSE I LOVED HIM.

TRULY.
-[GROANS]

-AND HE LOVED ME.

OH, LOVE CONQUERS ALL.

AND IT FORGIVES QUITE
A LOT ALONG THE WAY.

AND LOOK AT YOUR GRANDPARENTS:
WHAT ON GOD'S GOOD EARTH KEEPS

THEM TOGETHER?

-YOU CALL THEM TOGETHER.

I WOULDN'T.

WHAT HAPPENED?

-ABIAH CREATED EGYPT AND NAMED
HER NEXT TWO KIDS NEFERTITI

AND CLEOPATRA.

SOMETHING HAPPENED.

NOW GET DOWN THERE
AND DIG AROUND.

SIFT THROUGH THE
ROCKS AND DIRT.

TELL ME IF YOU FIND
ANYTHING, OKAY?

[MYSTERIOUS GUITAR MUSIC]

*

*

-BUCKET'S FULL, AUNT LIZ!

LIZ!

-DID YOU PILE THROUGH
THE ROCKS AND DIRT?

DID YOU FIND ANYTHING?

-NOT REALLY.

-WELL WE CAN'T HAUL UP
EVERY TEASPOON OF DIRT.

-WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR?

-ANYTHING THAT LOOKS LIKE
IT'S WORTH DIGGING FOR, OKAY?

SURPRISE ME.

-ALRIGHT.

-LIZ?

-HUH?

-LIZ!

-WHAT IS IT?

-HEY LIZ, I THINK I FOUND IT!

-YES SIR, DID YOU
FIND SOMETHING?

-YEAH.

HELP ME UP.

-OH...

-HERE.

IS THIS WHAT YOU
WERE LOOKING FOR?

-THAT'S THE...

THAT'S MY WEDDING RING
FROM HARTLEY STONE.

IT'S PERFECT.

LET'S GO.

*

-YOU'RE NOT COMING INTO MY
HOUSE WITH A FIREARM, SWEETIE.

-WELL, HOW ABOUT I KEEP
IT 'TIL WE'RE INSIDE?

-IT'S NOT A SALOON.

GIVE ME THE GUN.

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT RING?

-I, AND AUSTEN, FOUND IT
WHERE I LEFT IT UP AT FORT

KITTREDGE.

-WELL SURELY YOU DON'T
INTEND TO WEAR IT.

-I DO.

I, I STILL LOVE HARTLEY STONE.

-HE WAS A CHEAT AND A DRUNK.

YOUR MEMORY'S TOO SHORT.

-WELL YOURS IS TOO LONG!

TIMES CHANGE.

-YEAH, TIMES MAY,
PEOPLE DO NOT.

-SO WHAT?

YOU TOO HAVE LOVED, MOTHER.

-HEY, DON'T DRAG ME
INTO THAT FOXHOLE.

WHATEVER ELSE MAY BE SAID
ABOUT YOUR FATHER,

HE'S NOT A CHEAT.

-NO, ABIAH.

HE'S NOT.

GIVE ME MY GUN.

[JAUNTY MUSIC]

*

OH, WE'VE GOT A VISITOR.

-MRS. KITTREDGE.

-THAT'LL DO [LAUGHS LIGHTLY]

-THE FEDERAL BUREAU
OF INVESTIGATION.

I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU A
FEW QUESTIONS IF I COULD.

-I WOULD BE TICKLED.

WHAT WOULD YOU
LIKE TO TALK ABOUT?

-UM, MAINLY BANK ROBBERY.

-WELL THAT IS NO WAY
TO INTEREST A LADY.

-UH, I HAVE A WARRANT TO
SEARCH YOUR PERSONAL EFFECTS.

-YOU DON'T SAY?
-I NEED TO DO THAT NOW.

-AUSTEN, YOU WATCH
AFTER THE HORSE.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

-THERE'S SUGAR
ON SNOW, AUSTEN.

MY TREAT!

-I'M NOT HUNGRY.

-NOT HUNGRY FOR SUGAR ON SNOW?

-I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT IS, BUT...

I ALWAYS EAT LIKE A BIRD
WHEN I'M AT FESTIVALS.

-TIE UP THE HORSE,
SHE'LL BE FINE.

-I REALLY CAN'T.

BUT I WOULDN'T MIND GOING
TO THE BARN DANCE LATER.

-UM, I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU.

PRETTY BIG, TOO.

-I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT
STAYING HERE, OKAY?

BELIEVE ME.

-MEET ME AT THE DANCE?

-SURE.

-YOU MAKING OUT ALRIGHT?

-JUST HANGING AROUND,
WAITING FOR LIZ.

WATCHING HER HORSE.

SHE'S WITH A G-MAN.

-INSIDE, WE GOTTA GO.

WE GOT SYRUP TO DELIVER.

-NOT NOW.

I'M REALLY S...
-NO, NOW. NOW.

-NO GRANDPA!

-NO, THE ANSWER
IS "YES GRANDPA."

COME ON.

-UGH, OKAY.

-COME ON, COME ON!
-MAKE THIS A FAST ONE!

GRANDPA.

-MM, BUMPER STEVENS.

-AUSTEN.

-YOU OWE ME A PRIME HOLSTEIN.

I EXPECT YOU TO MAKE IT RIGHT.

-WHO'S THIS YOU GOT WITH YOU?

YOUR ATTORNEY?

-AS MUCH ATTORNEY
AS I'LL EVER NEED.

WE'LL PICK THE COW
UP IN THE MORNING.

-HEY.

I'M NOT LOOKING FOR TROUBLE.

THAT FAMILY OWED ME RENT.

I TOOK THE COW.

WOULDN'T HAVE MADE
IT ANOTHER WEEK.

TEETH'S ALL ROTTED.

-EXCEPT IT WAS MINE.

ON LOAN.

-YOU OLD FOOL.

WORK IT OUT WITH THEM.

-NO SIR.

YOU WORK IT OUT WITH ME.

-GIVE ME THAT.

-UP MIKE'S ASS, I WILL.

-I TOOK YOUR COW TO THE
SLAUGHTERHOUSE THURSDAY.

TOUGH LUCK.

NOW, I'M IN THAT COMPETITION.

GIVE ME THAT AXE.

-IT'S ON LOAN.

TO ME.

TOUGH LUCK.

-BUMPER...

[LIGHT WHIMSICAL MUSIC]

*

-WHOSE MONEY?

MAYBE YOU'D LIKE
TO GIVE ME SOME?

HOW ABOUT A TEN-SPOT?

MAYBE TWENTY?

OR MAYBE YOU'D LIKE
TO PLAY ME FOR IT?

GO ON.

TAKE A CARD.

-GET OUT OF HERE, HEADY.

MOVE ALONG.

-MAYBE I'LL TAKE A LOOK.

-NO!

YOU GET OUT OF HERE, OR
YOU'RE HEADED FOR TROUBLE.

-TAKE A CARD.

-FINE I'VE GOT A
TEN IN MY POCKET.

-GO ON.

-MAKE IT QUICK.

-SHUFFLE INTO THE DECK.

LET ME SEE THE DECK.

FOUR OF DIAMONDS.

FINE.

YOU WIN.

HERE'S YOUR MONEY,
SEE YOU LATER.

-WHAT'S THIS?

-JUST A LITTLE GAME OF CHANCE.

YOU WANT TO PLAY?

-NO MA'AM.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
THAT OUT BACK?

-SHOW HER YOUR BADGE, HONEY.

-NOT NOW.

-I AIN'T A-SCARED OF YOU.

-OH, IT'S QUIET OUT HERE.

-TOO QUIET.

-THE 114TH ANNUAL
MAPLE SYRUP PRIZES.

[CLEARS THROAT]

NOW I KNOW ABIAH WASN'T
ALTOGETHER PLEASED WITH

THE OUTCOME OF HER COURT CASE...

- J.W., DON'T PATRONIZE ME.

AWARD ME THE BLUE
RIBBON I DESERVE.

I WANT TO GO HOME.

-ALRIGHT ABIAH.

SECOND PRIZE GOES TO...

AUSTEN KITTREDGE.

[APPLAUSE]

NO AUSTEN.

-I'LL TAKE IT.

-OKAY.

UH...

THIS YEAR'S BLUE RIBBON FOR
MAPLE SYRUP GOES TO

ABIAH KITTREDGE.

[APPLAUSE]

-12 BLUE RIBBONS IN 14 YEARS.

OH, LADIES.

SAMPLE MY...

MY ANGEL FOOD CAKE.

-THOUGHT YOU'D WAIT
FOR THE PRIZES.

-YOU'RE STILL HERE?

THOUGHT YOU'D BE OVER
THE HILLS BY NOW.

-I SHOULD BE.

I THOUGHT I'D BUY
MY DADDY A DRINK.

-HEH.

-I WON'T BE BACK.

-MM.

I GUESS YOU WON'T.

-I'M SAD TO SEE YOU GO,
BUT SORT OF GLAD IN A WAY.

I DON'T HAVE THE
STOMACH FOR THIS.

YOU KNOW, THE STATUTE
OF LIMITATIONS...

DOESN'T RUN OUT ON
A FEDERAL OFFENSE.

I HEARD AGENT SANDERS
TELL YOU THAT.

WHILE HE WAS STANDING INCHES
AWAY FROM THE $42,000.

-DON'T WORRY.

IT'S ALL IN THE CLEAR.

BUT YOU BETTER PROMISE NOT
TO BREATHE A WORD TO ANYBODY.

-TO MY DEATH.

-I WILL KNOW.

-OF COURSE.

[LAUGHS]

-YOU ARE STILL AN ACCOMPLICE
TO A MAJOR BANK ROBBERY.

-THANKS FOR THAT.

-[LAUGHS] NO.

-I GUESS YOU'LL BE
OKAY IN MONTANA THEN?

-OH YEAH.

-WOW!

-YOU ADD THAT TO
ABIAH'S EGG MONEY.

GET A GOOD EDUCATION,
AUSTEN'S GRANDSON AUSTEN.

-I GOTTA GO.

WILL YOU BE OKAY?

-YEAH, GO AHEAD.

DON'T LOOK BACK.

I WON'T BE LOOKING
BACK EITHER.

[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]

*

*

*

*

-WELL TUT, DID YOU SEE
YOUR AUNT ELIZABETH OFF?

-THERESA'S GONE.

I...

HER PLACE IS EMPTY.

-WHY WOULD THEY STAY?

-I SAW HER AT THE FESTIVAL.

SHE DIDN'T SAY A WORD
ABOUT MOVING, AND THEN...

I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE WENT.

-YOU'LL SEE HER AGAIN.

-DO YOU THINK LIZ
WILL FIND HARTLEY?

-LIZ IS WHO SHE IS.

TIMES CHANGE, MY
DAUGHTERS NEVER WILL.

-FOR ONCE, MR.
KITTREDGE, WE AGREE.

-STOP THE PRESSES.

-WHEN I WAS JUST...

18 YEARS OLD, TUT...

THIS MAN TIPPED HIS HAT TO ME.

OR AT LEAST I THINK HE DID.

-I WAS SCRATCHING
MY HEAD, DAMN IT.

-I WAITED AND WAITED.

AND I FINALLY WORE HIM DOWN.

AND WE'VE BEEN WEARING
EACH OTHER DOWN EVER SINCE.

I PRAY YOU NEVER
KNOW LONELINESS, TUT.

-I'VE BEEN LONELY.

-YES.

YOU HAVE.

SO...

CAN WE...

BLAME LIZ FOR GOING BACK
TO HER FIRST HUSBAND?

[SIGHS]

I'M GOING TO GO READ IN EGYPT.

-WHO LIVES HERE?

-THE MEANEST OLD BASTARD IN
KINGDOM COUNTY, THAT'S WHO.

-THAT'S RIGHT.

AND REMEMBER, YOU
HEARD IT FIRST FROM ME.

[SERENE MUSIC]

*

[PUMPING NOISE]

-OH, YOU TWO LOOK LIKE BARN
CATS WHO JUST SWALLOWED THE

CANARY.

-WE HAVE A SURPRISE
FOR YOU, MOM.

-I'M TOO OLD FOR SURPRISES.

-NOT THIS ONE!

-WELL WHAT IS IT?

-IT'S A VACUUM CLEANER!

-THERE'S NO PLACE
TO PLUG IT IN.

AND THERE WON'T BE, AS LONG AS
THERE'S A BREATH IN MY BODY.

-FINE, WE'LL TAKE IT BACK.

BUT YOU HAVEN'T HEARD
ITS MAIN SELLING POINT.

-OF COURSE I HAVE.

EVERYBODY HAS.

-LABOR SAVING DEVICE.

GOES ANYWHERE.

FLOATS ON AIR.

PERFECT FOR THE YOUNG
HOUSEWIFE WITH MORE IMPORTANT

THINGS TO DO LIKE GETTING
HER NAILS DONE AND MARKETING.

-I'M NOT A YOUNG HOUSEWIFE,
AND I DON'T THINK ABOUT MY

NAILS.

NO, I'VE WORKED HARD
ALL MY LIFE AND...

I'M NOT ABOUT TO STOP NOW.

-THIS VACUUM CAN SUCK UP MORE
CLUSTER FLIES IN ONE MINUTE

THAN YOU COULD SWAT IN A WEEK.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS POINT
THE NOZZLE, YOU TURN ON THE

MOTOR, AND YOU SUCK THE LITTLE
CUSTOMERS INTO OBLIVION.

BUT...

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY
ELECTRICITY ANYWAY, SO...

-NO NO NO!

TELL ME THE PART ABOUT...

OBLIVIATING THE CLUSTER FLIES.

[SOUND OF VACUUM
CLEANER RUNNING]

[SOUND OF VACUUM
CLEANER RUNNING]

[UNEVEN BREATHING]

-TUT!

TUT!

-GRAM!

-GO CALL AN AMBULANCE.

MY HEART'S HURTING...

-AHH...

AHH..

[SHALLOW BREATHS]

[MOANING]

-AHH...

-PHONE THE TATRO,

THEY'LL COME AND GET YOU.

-NO, I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.

-DO AS I SAY.

-BUT I'M SCARED, GRANDMA.

-WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

BEING BRAVE HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH BEING UNAFRAID.

YOU'RE A BRAVE BOY.

-[SIGHS]

-DO YOU SLEEP IN YOUR HAT?

-WHAT I DO UP HERE
AND WHAT I DON'T DO...

IS MY BUSINESS.

-I SAW GRAM.

SHE WANTS YOU TO DRIVE TO THE
HOSPITAL AND TAKE HER HOME.

-DOES SHE, NOW?

[BREATHES SLOWLY THROUGH NOSE]

-I'M GONNA TELL GRAM YOU'VE
BEEN SLEEPING IN YOUR HAT.

-TELL AWAY.

-SHE'S IN HERE, GRANDPA.

-AUSTEN.

-HOW IS SHE?

-SHE'S, UH...

SHE'S OLD, AUSTEN.

SHE'S WORN DOWN,
LIKE THE REST OF US.

ONLY MORE SO FOR HAVING PUT
UP WITH A DEVIL LIKE YOU ALL

THESE YEARS.

-SHE WANTS TO GO HOME.

JUICE DIDN'T TURN OUT TO
BE QUITE THE HOLIDAY SHE'S

EXPECTED.

-YEAH.

WELL, YOU SPRING HER FROM
HERE, I CAN'T GUARANTEE THAT

SHE'S GOING TO LIVE A WEEK.

-AND IF SHE STAYS?

-I CAN'T GUARANTEE
MUCH EITHER WAY.

-GRANDPA.

-YOU WANT TO GO HOME?

-THANK YOU, TUT.

-CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING?

-TEA, MAYBE.

UH...

LITTLE TOAST.

-I'LL DO IT.

[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC]

*

-[GASPS]

I SEE IT...

-WHAT, GRAM?

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

-[MOANING]

I SEE EGYPT!

[GASPING]

A WONDERFUL THING...

[GAGS]

[GASPS]

-GRAM'S GONE.

-WHAT DO YOU EXPECT
ME TO DO ABOUT IT?

I CAN'T BRING HER BACK.

PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, SON.

SHE'S GONE.

-I FOUND THE GRAVE MARKER
WITH MIRA'S NAME ON IT.

-I'VE SAID WHAT I HAD TO SAY.

-YOU BASTARD.

-WE'RE VERY SORRY
FOR YOUR LOSS, FOLKS.

VERY SORRY.

HOW'S MR. KITTREDGE TAKING IT?

-FINE.

CAN'T YOU HEAR HIM?

-[CLEARS THROAT]

UH, HE'LL HAVE TO
BE HERE FOR THIS.

-WE'LL GET HIM.

COME ON.

-[SPEAKING QUIETLY]

-GIRLS.

ROB, UH...

USUALLY THE READING OF THE
LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OCCURS

AFTER THE FUNERAL.

IN THIS CASE, THE WILL
STIPULATES CONDITIONS FOR THE

SERVICE.

[DOOR OPENING]

AUSTEN.

WE JUST WANT TO OFFER
OUR CONDOLENCES ALL...

-GET ON WITH YOUR BUSINESS.

I DON'T HAVE ALL MORNING.

-I, UH, ABIAH KITTREDGE, BEING
OF SOUND MIND, WILL ALL MY

PROPERTY AND ASSETS TO MY
HUSBAND, AUSTEN GLEESON

KITTREDGE, WITH THE EXCEPTION
OF MY COLLEGE FUND FOR MY

GRANDSON, AND MY COLLECTION
OF EGYPTIAN MEMORABILIA.

THE DISPOSAL OF MY REMAINS, AS
WELL AS MY EGYPTIAN ARTIFACTS,

SHALL BE AS STIPULATED IN A
PRIVATE LETTER TO MY HUSBAND,

TO BE FOUND IN THE TOP DRAWER
OF MY WORK TABLE IN EGYPT.

[ABIAH'S VOICE]
AUSTEN, IF I GO BEFORE YOU,

PLEASE CARRY OUT MY
INSTRUCTIONS FOR BURIAL.

I AM ATTACHING PLANS
FOR MY SARCOPHAGUS.

-WHAT'S IT SAY?

-THIS IS PRIVATE.

FOR MY HUSBAND.

ACROSS THE TOP.

YOU READ THE WILL.

IT'S A PRIVATE LETTER.

CLEAR OUT, BOTH OF YOU.

SERVICE WILL BE TOMORROW.

RIGHT HERE IN MRS.
KITTREDGE'S PARLOR.

11 O'CLOCK SHARP.

-WHAT ABOUT THE CASKET? Y-YOU
CAN'T...

-I'LL HANDLE IT.

-MY GREATEST DESIRE IS TO BE
RETURNED TO THE EARTH WITH MY

MOST BELOVED ITEMS.

DO NOT MOCK THIS.

IN DEATH, THERE IS
RECOGNITION, DIGNITY,

AND RESPECT.

YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU.

I DON'T ASK FOR
LOVE, BUT ACCEPTANCE.

SO MANY YEARS, YOU SURELY
UNDERSTAND ME WHEN I SAY I'VE

LOOKED FORWARD TO THIS.

THE WAR IS OVER.

IT COULD NOT LAST FOREVER.

FROM ONE ETERNITY TO ANOTHER,

ABIAH.

[HAMMERING SOUND]

-CAN I HELP YOU, GRANDPA?

-MM, COME UP HERE
AND SEE THIS.

I WISH I HAD SIX MORE MONTHS
SO THESE BOARDS COULD SEASON.

ALL I'M ABLE TO DO IS TO
DOUBLE-CLEAT IT WITH THESE

SQUARE NAILS ALL
THE WAY AROUND.

IF IT WORKS, IT WORKS.

SHE'S GOING TO HAVE
TO TAKE HER CHANCES.

GO OUT IN THE WOODS AND CUT
ME A LOAD OF SMALL CEDAR

AND BALSA.

-DO YOU WANT ME TO PICK
UP ANY WILDFLOWERS?

-NO, JUST CUT THE BRUSH.

-GRAM KNEW THAT YOU BURIED
MIRA UP HERE, DIDN'T SHE?

-WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?

THEY WERE GOING TO FLOOD THE
WHOLE VALLEY IN LABRADOR.

YOUR GRANDMOTHER FOUND OUT.

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.

GO CUT THE BRUSH.

[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC]

*

-DO YOU NEED SOME HELP?

-I DO, SON.

SHE'LL BE ALRIGHT.

I DOUBLE-CLEATED THE LID.

THAT'S OKAY.

I CAN DO THE REST.

-SON.

YOU COMING?

-I'LL BE THERE.

-HELP ME FINISH THIS UP.

WE'VE GOT COWS TO MILK.

-WHO LIVES HERE, OLD MAN?

WHO LIVES HERE, GRANDPA?

THE MEANEST OLD BASTARD
IN KINGDOM COUNTY.

THAT'S WHO.

I HEARD IT FIRST FROM YOU.

[SERENE MUSIC]

*

*

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

*

[CALM MUSIC]

*

[SERENE MUSIC]

*

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

*

[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC]

*