Nobody's Fool (1986) - full transcript

Yes, sir, that's my baby

No, sir, don't mean maybe

Yes, sir, that's my baby now

Yes, ma'am, we've decided

No, ma'am, we won't hide it

Yes, ma'am, you're invited now

By the way, by the way

When we reach the preacher I'll say

Yes, sir, that's my baby

No, sir, don't mean maybe

Yes, sir, that's my baby now



Yes, ma'am, we've decided

No, ma'am, we won't hide it

Yes, ma'am, you're invited now

By the way, by the way...

She put that on her head!

She's gonna drop it.

There she goes!

She's gonna drop it!
She's gonna drop it!

Thal's right, girls!
Really burn those buns!

And one, and two,
and fall, fall.

Now squeeze.
Keep squeezing!

Tighter!

Tighter, tighter, tighter!
One more really deep squeeze.

Hey! Hey, dinner's almost ready!



That's good, ladies.

Raise the left first.

And eighl, seven, six--

pick up your knees!

Five, four, three! Higher!

There’s a man in suburban Chicago
who says he has a talking dog.

Reporter Bryan Upberg has this look.

Eat up. Come on.
Good girl.

You know...

tomorrow's Friday.

Cassie, did you remember to get
the Freezon at the market?

| put it in the bathroom.

Can't seem to get rid of
these warts on my back.

They just won't stay gone.

She’s kind of the office mascot.

Everyone here’s
golten accuslomed to her.

Hey, you're getting grease
all on your face.

So what's it to you?

It takes a fine-tuned, accustomed ear
to pick up on what she’s saying.

Okay, you've been
through some trouble, yes?

You've made a mistake or two
that you have come to regret.

So who hasn't, right?

Now, what you need to do,
in my opinion,

is you need to make a list of all
of your best assets, hmm? Okay?

Okay. I'll try it.

All right, folks, let's call it a night.
Thanks very much.

- Adios, Bob.
- See y'all tomorrow.

- Roger, you go straight home now.
- Yeah, | will.

Hey, Cassie, | want you here
on time from now on.

Get yourself here
15 minutes early tomorrow

if you expect
a whole paycheck on Friday.

Oh, now, Mr. Fry,
can't you be sweet?

No, | can't.

With a reputation like
that ingrate's got in this town,

she's lucky to have any job at all.

Hey, you want to know
what else you could do

to help this mood you've been in?

What? Tell me.

Well, try that new
Orange Marmalade nail polish

that's just come in at the Rexall.

Triple-coat your fingernails and toes,
and when you get to feeling low,

all you've got to do is just glance down
at your hands and your feet,

and it'll give you a little lift
right there on the spot.

Fingernails and toes.

The next thing to do

is to concentrate on
some sort of interesting hobby.

Let me see now--

for instance, | make
those big, decorative pillows.

Oh, those are real nice.

The most important thing

is to meet new people

and to get out on all the social
occasions that come your way.

Tomorrow, Frank is taking me

to see that outdoor
Shakespearean play

at Red Rock Canyon.

You can come with us.

Oh, gosh, | don't know.

I think I'd feel
kind of like a third wheel.

Hey, let me tell you something
about Frank and me.

We have been dating
three months now,

and already | realize

we are literally
made for one another,

like coffee and tea,
sugar and cream.

Now, when you're
made for one another,

you don't mind
asking other friends to join you.

Look, we'll pick you up
around 7:30, okay?

It'll give you a chance
to dress up.

Point. Gotta shift it there. Okay.

Down with the topmast!

Lower! Lower! Lower!

Bring her to dry
with the main course!

A plague upon this howling!
A plague!

We'll all be drownded!

If thou more murmurest,

| will rend an oak

and peg thy heart
in its knotty entrails

till thou hast howled away
twelve winters.

Pardon, master,
| will be correspondent

to command and do
my spiriting gently.

Do so,

and after two days' time,
| would discharge thee.

That's my noble master.

What shall | do?
Say what, what shall | do?

Go make thee
like a nymph o' the sea,

subject to no sight
but thine and mine,

invisible to every eyeball else.

Go take this shape
and come hither in it.

Go hence

with diligence.

| loved how that fairy was
sparkling way up in the air.

Oh, and how her toes stayed
perfectly pointed when she went up.

Yes, and those golden lights
were so beautiful all around her.

Hey, where's your thermos?

| don't know.
Back there, | guess.

Well, look,
you go get your thermos.

We'll go on to the parking lot
and get the car.

Okay.

I'll be real fast. I'll hurry.

Now my charms
are all overthrown,

and what strength | have's mine own,

which is most faint.

Most faint.

Hi.

Hi.

Lose something?

Yes, | lost my thermos.

| was sitting right here.

Is that it?

Yes. That's it.

- Thanks a lot.
- You're welcome.

Hey, you need a lift?

Oh, no, | have some friends.
They're out there waiting for me.

Out there in the parking lot,
they're waiting.

Okay.

Bye-bye. Thanks.

Let's go on in and get a little breakfast,
if you girls don't mind.

What a good idea.
I love their egg rolls.

Frank, you have
such good ideas.

| think I'm gonna go on home.

What?

No. Oh, don't you want to come
inside for just a little while?

| don't think they want to
see me in there,

for breakfast or otherwise.

Yeah, okay.
Well, good night.

Okay.
Okay, good night.

Thanks for taking me
to the show.

Sure.

'Night, Frank.

'Night, Pat.

Come on, eal your eggs.

1 feel kinda stupid about it.

We'll spiit it 50/50.

There we go.

- | want you to make a wish.
- Okay.

I'll make one.

- Come on, make a wish.
- | don't want to make a wish.

Think of something
that you've always wanted.

Okay, | wish you'd tell me
what you want to tell me.

- What are you so excited about?
- I'm gonna have a baby.

Yeah?

| guess we're not gonna
have time to get together

that beautiful church wedding
where | wear the blue veils.

Well...

God.

Yeah, well,
feel kinda stupid about it.

We always said how we wanted
a house full of kids.

Might as well
get started now, huh?

Go eat your eggs there, Stool.

- They're gonna get cold in a minute.
- | have to get married pretty fast.

Salt?

It's already been
almost four months. God.

Yeah, well,
tell you the truth, Stoolie--

oh, God, you're gonna
hate me for this--

| mean, this is
no reflection on you,

but | just don't feel ready
to cash in my chips.

- Your chips?
- Yeah.

For now.

Well, what about having the baby?

Now, look, it's gonna be okay.

I'll help to pay
to get it all taken care of.

We'll split it 50/50,
right down the line.

| don't understand.

| thought we were
gonna get married.

Stool, look, don't.

You told me you love little babies.

You told me you love
my meat potpies!

Now you're telling me
you want to split 50/50

and you don't feel ready
to cash in your chips?

- Stoolie, settle down!
- Well, it's too late!

Your chips are cashed!
I'm sorry, they're cashed!

Stoolie, people are staring at us.

Don't pop your cork.
Come on.

Eat your goddamn eggs.

You eat the goddamn eggs,
you son of a bitch!

My God!
What the hell are you doing?

I'll kill you! I'll kill you!

I'll kill you!

Hi.

- Hi.
- How you doing?

I-I liked that show
out at Red Rock Canyon.

Good.

It was beautiful.

Well, here.

- An acting workshop.
- And it's free.

Well, I'm gonna go
have some lunch.

| had lunch already.

Tuna fish, lettuce, crackers.
It was very good.

Well, wasn't gonna
ask you to lunch,

but how about some dessert?

I've got a frozen
key lime pie we could thaw out.

It's good,
if you like key lime pie.

- Well, | like key lime pie.
- Yeah?

But | have to visit my cousin.

She's over at
Skull Valley State Hospital.

Cassie!

That's my mother.
She's picking me up.

I'm coming!

Yeah, well, okay.

- Thank you...
- Sure.

...for this notice.

Now, according to Madge,

dear old Napey was downstairs
feeding his cat BoBo

when he started hearing
the upstairs toilet flushing

over and over again
for about one-half hour straight.

Well, finally he gets up

and he goes to see
just what's happening,

and what do you think he finds?

That poor girl sending
every stitch of her underwear

straight down the pipes,

even down to
the hand-embroidered set

that Bingo gave her
for high school graduation.

But it wasn't till suppertime
that evening

that Napey finally realized
what deep trouble that girl was in.

There she was,

sitting at the dining table
in the stark nude

with this thick, awful makeup
spread all over her face.

According to Madge,
it was absolutely grotesque.

Anyway, what do you think
she serves up for his supper?

There sits on the table
a plate of sanitary napkins

and a bottle of ketchup,

and she says,

"If you don't like this,
there's another dish in the kitchen."

And as if this wasn't enough,

he goes to the kitchen,
and what do you think he finds there

but his treasured cat BoBo
cooked to a crisp in the oven.

And you know how Napey
always loved and adored BoBo.

Poor BoBo.

And besides that, Madge says
it was an absolute fire hazard.

Anyway, give this
to Linda when you see her.

And act natural.

Hi, Linda.

Here's a present
Mama bought for you.

Thank you, Cassie.

Are you doing okay?

| sort of had this spell.

Yeah, | heard.

You ever feel like that?

| think so.

Does it go away?

It has to.

Think they'll fit?

Oh, me.

Oh, me.

Hey, just forget about these.

You just tell me what you want.
I'll get you anything you want.

Well...

I'd like some bend-straws.

| think I could use 'em.

Hey, that's not your bike.

It is now.

Hi, my name is Kirk Stevens.
You may recognize me.

| played Prospero
in our first show, The Tempeslt,

and then I'm on to
the challenging roles

of Bottom and King Lear.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

So, future thespians,
| think what I'd like to do now

is find out who you are

and why you're taking
this dramatic workshop.

Why don't we start with you?

Stop! Hold it! Okay,
we're gonna try it again, all right?

My name's Shirley Kilpatrick.

I'm the barmaid
at the Cactus Pool Hall.

And | watch
a lot of acting on TV,

and | just thought
I'd like to give it a try.

Excellent.

That was excellent, Shirley.
Very good.

Great. Um...

how about you next?

Well, my name is Hank Moss.

I'm the electrician
here in Buckeye Basin,

and | met Carol there
at the Elk Lounge.

We had a few drinks,

and she was telling me
how you had to teach this free class

or you might not
get your grant money.

She was afraid nobody'd show up.

| told her not to worry, that I'd find
the time to come in and lend a hand.

Thanks, Hank.

Yeah.

Well, besides the grant money
from the Wayne Buckeye Society,

we all feel that these classes have
an immeasurable amount to offer,

but no bullshit here.

- Okay.
- Okay?

Yeah.

Okay.

How about you next?

My name is Cassie Stoolie.

I'm a waitress at the Elk Lounge,

and how | came to come here is,

well, watching that show
out at Red Rock Canyon,

that Shakespeare show,

it got me thinking
how good it would be

to be totally different from me.

Even if it was for an hour,
or a half hour, or a few minutes' time.

Hi.

Hi.

How's class?

Fine.

Good.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Hi, Mama.
| got your nerve pills.

Oh, well, finally.

| went out and joined that acting
workshop out at Red Rock Canyon.

| wasn't too bad for my first day.

| don't know why you want to
spend your time on something like that.

You know, Bea Jones is teaching
a class in adult stenography

over at the high school.

Now, there's something
to fall back on.

Yeah, don't get
your hopes up or nothing,

'cause after what you did to Billy
down to the Canton Cafe,

no one's gonna think of you
as a glamorous movie queen.

Who says they're supposed to?

Yeah, don't get
your hopes up or nothing,

‘cause after what you did
to Billy down...Billy down...

Billy! Billy, I'm sorry!

Billy! Billy, God!

Oh, God!
Oh, God, I'm sorry!

Get away from him,
you little wildcat!

You've done damage enough.

Come on, let's go.
Get out.

Let go of me!

Stay out!

Wretched, wretched,
horrible mistake.

Broken. It's all broken.
That's right.

Idiot!

He doesn't even love you.

He doesn't even...

Okay, okay.

This is it. This is it.

| know.
All right, then, all right.

Okay, let's see
if you can take this!

Well...

Okay. That's right.

All right, all of you.
I'll show all of you.

Okay...

| don't have to take this, not me.

No way.

At midnight, I'll jump.

Just a little jump.

All right, | never liked
this skinny neck anyway.

What's left?

Yeah. Let's break it in two.

Now.

Now!

Who's out there?
What's going on?

It's all right, Mrs. Verber.

It's just me, Cassie Stoolie.

- Who?
- Cassie Stoolie.

It's just me.

It's just me.

That's good, Jane.
| really like your commitment.

But remember what | said--

it doesn't have to be an animal, okay?

Okay, you next.

That's good, Winston,
that's good.

That's good, but hey, hey,
very convincing feline.

Guys! Guys, listen up.

This time
| don't want an animal.

| just want an emotion,
an abstract feeling, okay?

You next.

That's scary.

Nice song.

Still working on it.

- Brand-new "C" harp.
- Gosh.

Wanna try it?

Okay.

- No.
- Go ahead, try it.

No, that's all right.
| gotta go.

Nice harp, though.

- Thank you for letting me hold it.
- Sure.

| don't know, Pat.
He just keeps looking at me,

staring at me with those eyes.

How do you mean, exactly?

Well, it's hard to explain, see,
because he doesn't say a lot.

It's just the way
he's around all the time.

But that is where the guy works.

| mean, he's supposed to be there.

Yeah.

Tell me, does he ever
come up and ask for a date

or your phone number or anything?

Oh... well...no.

See, then?
| don't think he's interested.

You think?
Well, that's good.

I'm on my own now.

That's how | like it.
That's how it has to be.

Okay, Cassie.

But this Riley guy
certainly is on your mind.

No, he's not.

For heaven's sakes,
he'll be going back to Los Angeles

as soon as the festival is over.

Let's just forget
the whole thing, okay?

Okay.

Well, hopefully we'll have
two dozen of those tract homes

up there by next summer.

We've already got bids
on six of 'em.

Sounds good.

- Hi, Cass.
- Mr. Fry.

Hi.

| heard you were working here.

Yeah. Want a refill?

Sure.

Thanks.

| just stopped by
to see how you're doing.

- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm doing great.

Look here.
My nails are all polished.

Why, your hands are shaking.

They aren't.

Okay.

You're looking real good.

| gotta work.
I'm working now.

What's he doing in here?

| don't know.

- Oh, you're shaking.
- | know!

Okay, now, look, Cassie...

you have got to rip that Billy Downs
right out of your heart.

Now, let go of him.

Let go of all of it.

Otherwise, it's just gonna
eat you up alive, | swear.

Thanks for the coffee, Cass.

I'll be seeing you around.

Damn it, Cassie,
are you listening to me?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

- | love you.
- Love you, too.

Ralphy, put Elvis
back in the tank.

Oh, Mom.

Don't "Mom" me.

Cassie! They're gonna be married
by the time we get there.

All right, I'm coming.
It's just...this hat won't fit.

Put it on one station
and leave it there.

Hey!

All right, now,
right into the camera.

And.. cheese.

Cheese!

- And cheese.
- Cheese!

Oh, that's beautiful. Now let's
get ready for the processional.

Here we go. Let's turn around here.
Children, right in here.

Dad is where he needs to be.

Here she comes.

Gosh, | think it's so romantic,

Stuart Andrews
marrying Alice Whitey

even though he knows her
and certain members of her family

are classified to be
certifiable albinos.

Isn't she cute?

And they say she can hardly see
with those pink little eyes of hers.

Has to count her way down the aisle.

It takes her 24 steps.

He's here.

- Who?
- Him.

To the bride and groom!

To the bride and groom!

Hear, hear!

Go around. Go around.

What?

God, you're soaking wet.
Come in, come in.

| just made some coffee.
It's hot.

| didn't come here for coffee.

Okay.

I'll get you a towel.

Here.

| came here because
| have something to tell you.

What?

I'm through with
all involvements, see?

Okay.

| have a blemished past.

People say
my personality's strange.

| carry a whiskey bottle
in my handbag

and | paint my fingernails
layer after layer to try to help,

but, you see, it doesn't help.

| just can't see...

Here, here's your towel.

Thank you.

- See?
- What?

That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm talking about.

Stop looking at me
with those eyes!

Stop looking at me
with those damn eyes!

Why'd | do that?
| need a drink.

Stop.

"Priscilla Lee Jones,

"daughter of Mr.
and Mrs. Rowland Jones i,

was wed in holy matrimony
to William Ray Downs."

William Ray Downs?

| guess he made up that name "Ray."

He didn't have a middle name.

Why don't you try
one of these butter cookies?

You used to say
they were your favorite.

| guess he made up that name "Ray."

You used to say
they were your favorite.

- Butter cookies.
- He didn’t have a middle name.

- Cookies.
- Middle name.

You used lo say
they were your favorite.

- Strangulation.
- Butter cookies.

Strangulation.
Definitely no.

Too risky.

A shot in my head.

Possible. Gun required.

Okay.

Stabbing.
No, too messy.

Death by drowning.

Possible, if large body of water
could be found.

Burning.

No.

Definitely no.

Poison.

Possible, if poison could be found.

Let me see--
shot in the head...

death by drowning...

poison.

Yeah.

A spoonful.

A big spoonful.

Candies?!

Candies?! Damn!

Fish bones.

Dynamite. We had fish for dinner.

Get on back to bed now!

The angels won't be
coming for you tonight.

Come, night, come,

loving, black-browed night,

give me my Romeo.

And when he shall die,

take him and cut him out
in little stars,

and he will make
the face of heaven so fine--

Cassie, wait, wait. Stop.

Hold it.

Relax.

Relax. You're way too tense,
you're way too cautious.

Hey, guys, do you mind?
I'm working.

We're working out the fight scene.

Now, stop holding back.

| know, it's horrible.

Remember,
you are playing Juliet,

a woman of earth-shattering courage.

You're breaking your heart
wide open

so that all of your violent desires
and fragile fears

are laid out recklessly for life
or your lover to do with what they will.

You are begging
and praying for love...

for life.

Right.

Gee, ...
gosh, I...

| don't know, Kirk.

Look, Cassie,

If you're not gonna risk
more of yourself, don't bother.

Dare to be heroic.

Heroic? | never even
met anyone that was heroic.

Then imagine,

invent, pretend, believe.

Find the heroism.

It's there in Juliet,
it's there in you.

Gallop apace,
you fiery-footed steeds,

towards Phoebus' lodging.

Such a waggoner as Phaeton

would whip you to the west
and bring in cloudy--

- Hi.
- Hi.

- | been thinking.
- About what?

About you.

Look, I'm sorry
| bothered you last night.

Just try and don't--

| wish you'd just...
erase it, okay?

Erase it.

Wanna go for a drive with me?

If you have something to say,
say it now, all right?

Okay.

Well.. what?

| think you ought to go
for a drive with me.

My car's over there.

It's the ugly brown one.

Can | take these off now?

Okay.

Okay, uh,
let's talk about me.

You know,
when | was three years old,

| strangled a white kitten to death
with my bare hands.

At nine years old,

| cracked open my favorite girlfriend's
skull with a steel pipe.

Wham! She was out like a light.

At 13, | listened to my
mother's employer, Mrs. Bessel,

choke to death while | was screwing
her live-in nurse on the bathroom floor.

At 19, | was a certifiable dope dealer
and my best customer.

- God damn! Stop!
- It's okay, it's okay. | got it.

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

Cuttin' around.

Okay, here we go.

You okay?

- Yes.
- Okay.

| also did a stint in county jail
for breaking windows

and throwing all my belongings
out of a burning building

that in fact proved to be...

well, not burning.

Then later things got better.

| met some people.

They were good to me.
They helped me out.

| work now.

| don't throw things out windows,

and | don't screw nurses
on linoleum floors anymore.

Look, uh, I'd like--
I'd like--

What I'm trying to say here is...

you want to go out with me?

What?
God, | don't know.

You don't know?

Look, I've done a lot worse things
than you will ever do.

- You have?
- Yeah.

Oh.

All right, then.

All right, then.

No. Unfortunately, Winston,

we're not going to have time
for all of your monologues

for the Buckeye Day
entertainment event.

In fact, it's going to be
really tough

for me to pick
the top four performers in the class.

Well, I'd just like to state

that | have performed at
the Courthouse Auditorium once before.

- | know all about the acoustics.
- Can't get it off.

Well, thank you, Jane.
I'm just gonna file that away.

Where do we sign up
if we want to be considered?

Cassie, they've just got to pick us.

| mean, we're the only star material
they've got in this class.

- You think so?
- Sure, absolutely.

And this could be our
one big chance to be discovered!

Well, if you're not gonna
let me help you, just forget it.

Great. Some pal, some friend.

You've hated me since June.
Admit it!

Okay, | admit it!

What is that?
What is that?

It's a saw.

That's a chainsaw, man,
that's a chainsaw!

- | know.
- Do you know what | am?

- I am an actor!
- | know that.

Do you know what this is?
This is a very expensive prop.

Don't lose your head.

You don't use a chainsaw
on either of them!

So this jerky cousin of mine,
Robaire--

that was this kid's name,
Robaire--

he told me when | lived with him
on this farm one summer,

he said that if you bury
chicken bones in the backyard,

they'll grow up to be skeletons

that like to pick out
your eyeballs with their fingers.

- With their fingers?
- Well, with their claws.

Only, get this,
they only like blue eyes.

Well, Robaire and his whole
stupid family had brown eyes,

thank you very much,
and every time we're having chicken,

Robaire's running
out in the backyard

and he's burying
all the goddamn bones.

I'm a nervous wreck
all summer long.

Brother.

Yeah. You know, the whole summer
that | was stuck there,

I'd wear a dishrag
tied around my eyeballs

every night before I'd go to bed.

Yet still, when | heard that
Robaire fell out an open window

a couple of years back,
| felt pretty bad.

So Robaire died?

Oh, no, but he could have.

Do you know
many of these dead people?

Yeah, some. My Grandma Willie
and her second husband Louis

are buried right over here.

Hi, Louis.

Over here is where my daddy died.

Wilford Pile Stoolie.

Mama left these
fake lilies on his grave.

Your dad's dead, huh?

Yeah. He died
back when | was 14.

Did you like him?

Well, sure.

He was a manager
in the copper mines

till they closed them all down.

After that,
there was some troubled times.

He started going
down to Mexico to drink tequila,

and he'd gamble
and carouse with strange women.

He'd come back, though,
and bring us toys.

One toy was a monkey
that played the cymbals.

- Pickles?
- Thank you.

Then this one time...

he comes back
real sick and drunk,

and come to find that the dye
from one of his black silk socks

had gotten into a cut in his ankle
and given him gangrene poisoning.

It was those silk socks
that killed him.

No shit.

Yeah.

| saw a picture of my dad once
in a newspaper.

It was not very attractive.

What do you mean?

Well, you know,
they had him in shackles and shit.

He was trying to hide his eyes
behind this paperback novel, you know.

He had the most ridiculous
expression on his face.

Gosh. Then you never even
knew your dad, huh?

No, | guess not.

So, does everybody in this burg
have their picnics in the graveyard?

| guess so.

My family always did.

So tomorrow I'll be back from
my Aunt Bingo's and Uncle Bud's

no later than 5:00, okay?

Okay. I'll pick you up.

They really won't mind if | watch
the show from backstage?

Nah, they won't mind.

Just wear something black, okay?

Something black. Okay.

Hi, Uncle Napey.

Oh, he's asleep.

How are you?
Looks just like a baby, doesn't he?

Hi, everybody.

Look at you!

Oh, welcome, baby sister!

How you like the new house?

| love the bow.
| just love the bow.

Don't you just love
this maintenance-free yard?

What a luxury, huh?

Well, | love the bow.
| just love that bow.

Thanks.

Well, good Lord, child,
you sure are growing into a big boy.

Cassie, there's someone here
been waitin' to see you all morning.

...I've been better, that's for sure.

That suit she's wearing
is something else.

It's what they call
a TV-watchin' suit.

It's for watchin' TV.

Oh, she's takin' some medication,
makin' her kinda balky.

Linda.

Are you okay?

Yes. Oh, yes.

I'm watching TV.

That's why they got me
wearing this suit.

I'm watching TV.

So, how are things with you?

Fine.

Well, who's your boyfriend now?

| don't have one.

Oh, I'm so glad you're not going out
with that Billy Downs anymore.

Honestly, | don't know why
everybody in Buckeye Basin

kept making over him just 'cause
he could throw a dumb old baseball.

He was awfully conceited.

Well, he was insecure
about a lot of things,

but there were
some good qualities that he had.

Well, that is
very generous of you, Cassie.

And after him leaving you
to marry that simpy Prissy Lee,

just 'cause her daddy's
Mr. Moneybags.

| admire your courage so much.
It just makes me want to cry.

| mean, thinking of
your baby's welfare like you did.

| just don't know if |
could have been that brave.

Linda.

Linda, it's me, Cassie.

Cassie.

God, are you gonna be okay?

- I'm okay.
- Good.

Look here, your pom-poms
are all messed up.

Let me fix 'em for you.

It's gettin' so long, your hair.

| miss her, Linda, | do.

Your baby? You miss her?

Yeah.

Why'd | give her away like that?

God. If only he hadn't left us.

| never forget about it.

And I...| can't let go!

You understand? | can't!

You can't?

Can't?

Billy!

God! Cassie!

I'm sorry.
| had to come here.

| haven't gotten anything
straightened out.

It's all blurry and gray and purple.

Cassie, this isn't the time.

| know.

You're cooking steaks.

I am. I'm sorry.

My in-laws are over.

Oh. Yes.

Four T-bone steaks.

Four T-bone steaks for supper.

Cassie...

I'm really sorry
you're so upset, | really am.

Wish there was something
| could do.

Billy, Daddy wants his steak
more rare than medium rare,

so don't burn it.

I'm gonna bring out
some extra barbecue sauce.

Cass...

I wish | could ask you to stay.

It's okay.
I've already eaten.

Yes, | had fried chicken,
potato salad, coleslaw,

cakes, and pies.

It was a feast!
An incredible feast.

Believe me,
| couldn't eat another bite.

Over here.

So she was really riding
in a pink-and-white carriage?

| already told it once.

And chewing on a blue dog?

That baby had spit all over
that nasty blue thing.

Well, at least they give her toys.

You gotta give a baby toys.
It helps occupy their minds.

Yeah.

God.

| don't believe | ever...

| didn't care, though.

| just felt so full of nothing,
| wanted myself dead.

Dead's dead.

You forget about dead.

That baby's gonna be
doing just fine.

Hey, Hood, the bottom special!
Hit the bottom special!

Oh, right.

Kirk, you old jackass.

Jesus Christ, man, that's the third cue
you've blown. What the hell's wrong?

- Lighten up, Nicholas.
- You got to get it together.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

| just came by for the show.

| was just gonna see it.

| know you're real busy right now.

| know | was supposed to
meet you earlier.

It's okay, it's okay.

Hey, Nicholas, Nicholas, cue 25.

- All right.
- Yeah.

There was some sort of a mix-up.

I'm sorry | forgot to meet you.
| just did.

It's okay. Doesn't matter.

- Nicholas, cue 26. Come on.
- Oh, shit, okay.

Yeah.

Look, if it's okay,
maybe I'll see you after the show.

- Are you gonna stay for the show?
- Yeah, I'm gonna stay.

Okay, do you want to
watch it from up here?

- Okay.
- Come on, come on.

...Pyramus presented in their sport...

Okay, sit right here.

...entered in a brake,
when | did him at this advantage take.

An ass' nole | fixed on his head.

If we shadows have offended,

think but this, and all is mended--

that you have but slumbered here
while these visions did appear.

Okay, now, bring this lever back
very, very slowly...

- Gentles, do not reprehend...
- ...until you hear it click, then stop.

...we will mend.

That's it. There you go.

It clicked.

Okay, now, bring this one up
very, very slowly.

- ...we will make amends 'ere long.
- That's it.

Little faster.

- Great.
- Look at that!

Hey, Nick, look at that!
| made all those people appear!

That's really great, Cass.
Really good.

So, do you have to go
straight home?

Um...no. | guess not.

No.

Okay. Good.

Chili sure was good.

Good.

You'll have to give me
the recipe sometime.

Al right.

I'd better be going.
It's getting late.

| really enjoyed it.

Wanna smoke?

No, | don't smoke.

All right, I'll have a smoke.

- | like this cigarette.
- You do, huh?

Yeah. It feels strange
in my hand, though.

Why is that?

| don't know.

| gotta go.

Don't go.

Stay with me.

Stay with me tonight.

Al right.

You remind me of a pair
of green mittens | had once.

1 do?

What happened to ‘em?
To the mittens?

| don't know.

| don't remember.

I got it!

They picked me!

They picked me!

They picked me for the Buckeye Day
Entertainment Event!

- That's great!
- | gotta do a speech and everything!

Well, let's go celebrate.

- Yeah.
- Come on. Yeah.

Come on.

Anyway, Hank is having to do his
Wayne Buckeye Shakespearean riddles

in front of the courthouse,

'cause it ended up
they could only pick three of us

for the actual entertainment event.

Winston, he's gonna do Macbeth,

Jane, she's doing
one of her own comedy sketches.

- Yeah.
- You know, she's funny.

And me, | get to do Juliet--
a speech of Juliet's.

Our Shakespearean speeches
are supposed to be real dramatic.

The other ones are more funny.

That's why Kirk picked 'em--
contrast.

Sounds like Kirk's got
all the angles covered.

- Yeah, I'm excited about it.
- I am too.

lam.

Riley, this is
the best day of my whole life.

| wish it would never stop.

Maybe it won't.

Maybe.

Goodbye, you guys.
We'll see you later.

Bye.

- Well, tomorrow's the big day.
- Yeah.

- Knock 'em dead.
- I'll try.

Cassie.

- B|IIy

Hi.

Just getting some tickets
for the show.

Oh.

Did you see that old woman
on the gray mule go by?

Boy, she had the funniest teeth.

Oh, yeah. She lives over there.
I've seen her lots of times.

She wears an orange sun hat.

Right.

She had the craziest smile.

All right, sir,
I'll be there in a minute.

- I've got to get back to work.
- Yeah, you'd better.

| like seein’ ya.

Can | come talk to you sometime?

Sure.

All right. Good.

Who's that?

That's...that's him.

Yeah?

Great fashion sense, huh?

- Can | keep this?
- You can keep all of 'em.

Thanks.

Cassie?

You are coming with me, aren't you?

- | don't know.
- You don't know?

| thought you knew.

| mean, you said you knew.

Well, | know. It's just that I--

| haven't finished paying off
those hospital bills yet, and...

| realize | don't have
enough money, and...

I've got that job lined up
as soon as | get back to L.A.

Money is not a problem.

Look, | don't want to
just live off you.

There are plenty of jobs
you can get in L.A.

And it'd beat hell out of
working at the Elk Lounge, right?

That's true.

So...

what's the problem?

How about we leave tomorrow?

We'll leave right after Kirk's final,
glorious performance of "King Weird."

We'll just get in the car
and go, huh?

Yeah, just get in the car and go.

Yeah.

Hey, guys, here comes the truck.

| mean, why not, you know?

It's lousy for you here.

| know it's lousy for me here.

What if | get there
and you decide to leave me?

I'd be stuck there,
starving in the streets.

Oh, you think I'm gonna leave you.

- Who knows?
- Who knows?

Maybe then you'd have to
get a job or something.

Well, what if there are
no jobs available?

Cassie, why do you
always have to look

on the dark, bleak, morbid,
fatal side of everything in life?

Because | do, | just do.

Okay, fine.

| don't know what to say.

| like you, Cassie.
| don't like many people.

| like you, too.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Maybe you just like
that other guy a little better, huh?

What guy?
There's no other guy!

- Yeah.
- God, you can be such an idiot!

- Idiot?
- Idiot!

Thanks.

Anyway, forget it. Just let me
help you pack this stuff.

Cassie, let me
keep myself organized, okay?

Well, what do you want me
to do with these tapes?

This tape player?

The tape player is not the issue!

Hey! What the hell was that?

- Sounds like one of the lights broke.
- Look at this.

| just threw my tape deck
over the goddamn ledge.

You know, you're really
getting to me.

I'm sorry.

Cassie...

It's just that I'm not
an extremely secure citizen.

And | can't take being treated like
some dopey, jerk-faced loser, okay?

- Okay?
- Okay!

No, it's not okay.
I'm leaving.

I'm leaving.

Hey, where do these buckets go?

Why don't you try 'em
on your head?

Hey, buddy, don't forget
who's paying your salary.

Who's drinking? I'm buying.

Take off that stupid hat, Kirk,
or you can't come.

Want to open another bottle?

Sure.

- He's gonna do it again.
- Hot damn!

Do it, pard!
Put this ‘'un on my tab!

- Come on!
- All right!

Yeah.

Where'd you ever learn to do that?

Good breeding.

- More bourbon?
- Oh, yeah.

So, you doing anything
later on tonight?

Game of golf, tennis,
polo maybe.

Very funny.

Well, look, you've drunk
all my Burgundy wine.

Look, here's some
banana creme liqueur.

Oh, great.

Are you okay?

I'm fine. I'm fine.

| like to keep my banana liqueur cold.
I think it makes it more flavorful.

You know...

you know, it does.

Oh, thanks Shirley.

Shirley.

Thanks.

Shirley.

May | give you
some unsolicited advice?

| really don't think you should
take home any more guys

whose main accomplishment in life

is that they can take off
beer-top bottles with their teeth.

| mean, Shirley...

these guys may look impressive,

but they really
don't have a lot to offer

a good-looking woman like yourself.

- Okay.
- Hey, Shirley, good night.

Bless your heart.

My watch. Thanks.

What would | do without this?

See ya, Shirley.

Hey, Shirley,
thanks for the party.

Hey.

Sometimes it just doesn't work.

Sometimes.

- Another time, okay?
- Okay.

- Maybe?
- Maybe.

Come, Romeo.

Come now day in night,
for thou wilt lie...

You better tell her not to do it.

She looks like a creep
in that dumb pink outfit.

| don't like the pink, either.

It washes out her color,
but | can't tell her that.

Trust me, they're all
gonna laugh at her.

Come on, you little moron.
You couldn't hit the side of a barn.

Okay, that's it for the pipsqueak.

A couple of more tosses
for the moron.

Come on, let's go.

To be or not lo be
ain't much of a choice.

- Can't--
- It was good, it was good.

- This is bullshit!
- Hey, I've got people over here.

- Hi, Cassie.
- Hi.

Look, there are
a lot of nice people around.

All right, all right.
I-I can't do it.

Wayne Buckeye’s
a raving asshole, and | won!

Let's go give her a toss!

...as | lay sleeping

| dreamed | held you in my arms

When | awoke, dear,
| was mistaken

And | bowed my head and cried

You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine

You make me happy
when skies are gray

You'll never know, dear,
how much | love you

Please don't take my sunshine...

Nick, give me the house
right center lamp on the table.

Okay.

Yeah, now tilt it down.
Okay, more center stage.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Okay, hold it.

Now, tighten in that far right
house lamp, all right?

Gotcha.

Hi, Nick.

- Oh, hi, Cass, how you doing?
- Okay.

All right, Cassie,

will you take your final position
onstage for us, please, ma'am?

Okay. Sure.

Okay, that's good.
Hold it right there.

Well, | guess my speech is today.

Not very excellent or anything.

Sometimes my mouth goes dry

when I'm trying to say what
I'm feeling behind all those words.

Maybe | should just...God...

| don't know.
What do you think?

Hey, we're just
hanging lights, Cassie.

Sure. Yeah.

| know.

Okay, I'm finished.

- Well, bye.
- Bye.

Come on, girls.
Let's go.

Okay.

Come on, everybody.
Come on.

Let's get in your positions.

Come on.
All right, everyone, okay.

How do you like the tooth?

It's funny.

Do you know what the cook
said to the gander?

Your goose is cooked.

Sight gags will kill 'em every time.

Hey, you're pretty nervous, huh?

Yes.

Well, we're all pretty nervous
when we first start out.

But, remember,
I'll be the first one out there,

and believe me, if there's
one thing | know how to do,

it's to warm up an audience.

Well, looks like this bird's
lost some of its pluck.

- Let's go!
- Yeah! Boring!

Don't guess he'll be
flying south for the winter.

No wingspan!

Get the horn!

No wingspan!

...that runaway's eyes may wink...

and Romeo leap to these arms,
untalked of...

..whiles | threat, he lives--

words to the heat of deeds
too cold breath gives.

His cape caught on fire.

Break out the marshmallows!

-1 go, and it is done.
- Kirk said he wanted real fire, right?

The bell invites me.

Hear it not, Duncan,
for it is a knell that summons thee

to heaven or to hell.

You're a joke.

What a retard!

How do you like that?
They're laughing at my Macbeth.

Sorry, Winston.

| guess that's showbiz.

Our third and final performer

from the Shakespeare
Red Rock Acting Workshop

will be Miss Cassie Stoolie.

Miss Stoolie will be performing
one of Juliet's speeches

from William Shakespeare's
immortal Romeo and Juliet.

Here, hold this.

Good luck, Cassie.

Oh, no! Not another one!

Gallop apace,
you fiery-footed...

Oh, give us a break!

Gallop apace,
you fiery-footed st...

Say, get those kids out of here!
Go on, give her a chance!

Gallop...

apa...

Told you.

You did just fine.
The dress looked real pretty.

I'll go out there
and tell them it's over.

No.

- Cue me if | forget, okay?
- Sure.

You can't go back out there.

Gallop apace,
you fiery-footed steeds...

"Towards Phoebus' lodging."

...towards Phoebus' lodging.

"Such a wagoneer as Phaeton..."

Such a wagoneer as Phaeton

would whip you to the west
and bring in cloudy night immediately.

Spread thy close curtain,

love-performing night,

that runaway's eyes may wink

and Romeo leap to these arms

untalked of and unseen.

Come night. Come Romeo.

Come thou, day in night,

for thou would lie upon
the wings of night

whiter than new snow
on a raven's back.

Come, gentle night.

Come, loving, black-browed night,

give me my Romeo.

And when he shall die,

take him and cut him out
in little stars,

and he will make
the face of heaven so fine

that all the world
will be in love with night

and pay no worship
to the garish sun.

Oh, | loved it.
| thought it was just wonderful.

Wasn't she incredible, Mrs. Stoolie?

You know, | purchased this penguin
at the white elephant booth.

Only five dollars.

Imagine that. Five dollars.

And | know just where
I'm gonna put it--

right up on the mantle,
where the fishbowl used to be.

Cassie, we want you to do your piece
at the women's club this fall.

You speak for us, all right?

Thank you, Mrs. Cain.

So...

So.

So, what'd you think?

You were okay.

Very okay.

- Thanks.
- Don't thank me.

You did it.

Hey, look, | got two free tickets
to the spaghetti dinner if you want to go.

| love spaghetti.

Especially when it's
free spaghetti. Let's go eat.

Cassie...

you were better than okay.

You were great.

Thanks.

Mule rides over here!

| really think you ought to
go to L. A.

I mean, I'd like you
to come stay with me,

but if you don't want to,
okay, fine.

You know, that's one thing,

but for God's sake, Cassie,
you've got to get out of here.

No, because just now
for the first time in a long while,

things are going
real well for me here in town.

Mrs. Cain did ask me
if I'd perform my speech

for the women's club this fall.

For the women's club?

For Christ's sake,
Cassie, come on.

| know, but maybe
| shouldn't leave just yet.

Hi, Cass.

- Billy.
- How you doing?

The winner of the Wayne Buckeye
look-alike contest

for the eighth year running...

- ...is Mr. Ned Wilcox.
- This is Riley Hood.

Riley, this is Billy Downs.

Nice to meet you, Riley.
How you doing?

See you've got your hands full.

Yeah.

So, Cass,
I'm real glad | found you.

Can | talk to you for a minute over here?

Yeah. Okay.

So, Cass,

| been thinking about you.

Ever since that day
you came by when | was...

...cooking steaks.

Yeah.

| just had to tell you that...

well, I'm sorry about things
that happened between us.

| don't understand how it all...

Well, anyway.

Hey, you were beautiful
on that stage today.

- You were.
- Thanks.

| been thinking about you,

all the things we used to do.

Gosh, you know, now | miss you.

| gotta go.

Will you be working
down at the Elk tonight?

Yeah.

I'm going to the outdoor
square dance. I'll drop by.

- | can't believe it.
- What?

You're still in love
with that asshole.

I am not.

You were standing there letting him
touch your hair with his fingers.

| saw. | have eyes.

Oh, all right.

Cassie, does it mean anything to you
that | want you to stay with me?

And | don't just mean
stay with me.

| mean stay with me.

- | don't believe you.
- Aw, great.

It's hard for me to believe
what people say.

Can't you understand?
I'm just scared!

Well, get over it.

Or at least tell me
how | can help you.

| mean, what do you want?

You want me to...
to cry for you,

you want me to bleed for you,
you want me to kill for you?

Do you want me to die for you?

What do you want?
Tell me--the sky's the limit.

Tell me--

Stop it! Stop it!

- Just stop it!
- Cassie! Cassie!

See what you did?

You expect me to run off
with some crazy lunatic?

You're right.

Okay, you're right.

| lost it,
| completely lost it.

I'm sorry, Cassie.

I love you, Cassie.

I love you. It's just I'm not...I'm...

Shit.

Hey, look, I'm leaving town
right after the show tonight.

If you decide that
you want to go with me

for some unknowable reason, just...

just be at my place
and we'll split.

Hey, look...

since you're probably not gonna be
making the trip with me tonight,

| thought you maybe might want
my address in L.A.

Have you got any paper?

Uh.. here.

849...

Okay.

Juniper Street...

L.A., 90046.

That's 4-6.

| mean...| mean, uh...

you know, maybe you'll want to
keep in touch, you know?

We'll exchange Christmas cards
or something.

Here.

So, um...

Fuck.

What time is it?

10:35.

You could still go.

You think | should?

Oh, | don't know.

I'm no expert, that's for sure.

Remember | told you about how Frank
and me were just made for each other?

Yeah.

Well, last night he said
I've been getting on his nerves

for the past three months.

- Really?
- Yeah, so he said he's breaking it off.

- That's terrible.
- | was disappointed.

I'd been working on this pillow
for his birthday, you know.

I've been decorating it up
like a car,

on account of
he's a mechanic and all,

but before he left, he said
not to bother getting it to him,

because even the pillows
| made got on his nerves.

Now, that was really
a surprise to me.

Gosh.

| guess you never do know how
another person is actually feeling.

| guess not.

Sometimes it's hard because

you don't even know what
your own feelings are actually feeling.

That's true, too.

Makes it hard.

Sure does.

Hey, Hood, what's going on?

I'm striking the set.

Look, there's a big Buckeye jamboree
back at the town square.

I'm out of this burg.

We were gonna strike that
in the morning.

It's struck.

I'm here.

Yeah.

Busy night?

Real.

Well, you're gonna need
a little rest and relaxation.

Maybe we'll go up
to Granite Dell sometime.

Remember how we used to
row around on the water out there?

| could get away next Saturday,

just till noon.

Oh, there you are.

Billy, we've been looking
all over for you.

Where have you been?

I'm exhausted.

You said to make two of 'em!

Yeah, make that two of 'em, would ya?

Hey, why don't you come over?

Hey, everybody,
this is Cassie Stoolie,

the star of this afternoon's performance.

Cassie, this is Tucker
and Tracy Lee.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

- And this is Prissy Lee.
- Hi.

Hi.

Cassie's an old friend of mine.

So I've heard.

Uh, can | take your orders?

Yeah, we'll have
two scotch-and-waters here.

Coca-Cola.

Well?

Don't you remember?

No.

Jack Daniels, straight up.

Hell, | been drinking it for years.
She knows that.

Uh, miss, I'd like to
change my order, please.

I'd like a double gin and tonic.

Prissy, now you know you can't
be too careful these first few months.

Just bring our little new mother
a nice Coke for now. Please?

Two scotch-and-waters,
one Coke, one J.D. straight.

Okay, I'll get the scotches.

Well, what happened?

She's gonna have his baby.

Oh, no.

Oh, God.

Oh, Cassie, I'm...sorry.

I'm...

I'm sorry.

Yeah, well...yeah.

| don't care!

| don't even care!
| don't care!

| don't care! | don't care!

Oh, Pat, he loves me!
He really, really loves me!

He does! Oh, I'm glad!
I'm so glad!

- And you know what else?
- What?

| love him, too! | do!

I'm going! God, I'm going!

- Okay.
- | gotta go!

Hurry!

Okay, hurry.

- Bye, Pat.
- Oh, bye.

What's all that noise?
Who broke something?

Where the hell
do you think you're going?

I'm going to Los Angeles,
California, Mr. Fry!

Look, if you go now, girlie,

there isn't gonna be any paycheck
here for you tomorrow.

I'll be keeping it.

Fine, then. Keep it--
right up your butt!

- What'd you say?
- | said keep it up your butt, Mr. Fry!

Good-bye, Mr. Fry!
Good-bye!

Good-bye! Write to me!

- | will. Good-bye!
- You can't talk to me that way!

- Nobody talks to me that way!
- Bye, Billy!

Yeah! Bye, Elk Lounge!

Good-bye!

That's the one.

Good-bye, Buckeye Basin!

Kirk, I'm going to Los Angeles!

Fabulous! Look me up--
I'm in the book.

Okay! Bye-bye!

- I'm going to Los Angeles!
- Are you going?

- Yes!
- Me too!

I'm going to Los Angeles!
What a beautiful, beautiful night!

Break a leg.

Bye-bye!

- Bye, Hank!
-I'm in love!

Me too!

Bye!

Hey, were ya goin'?

- Los Angeles.
- Los Angeles?

Yes. Tell Mom I'm taking
the $50 savings bond

from my jewel box, okay?

Okay. Don't you have
any other money?

Yeah, there's two dollars in my purse.

Hey, aren't you gonna tell Mom
that you're leaving?

No. Well...| guess I'd better.

Mama?

Mama?

I'm going to Los Angeles to live.

I'll send you my address
when | get there.

Did you remember to take
your dental stuff?

No.

Well, you'd better take it.

Okay, Mama, go back to sleep.

Good night.

- Wait.
- What?

Here.

What's this?

It's $17.57.
You can pay it back later.

Ralphy, thank you.

Thanks a lot.

- So long, Cass.
- So long.

Bye.

Riley!

I'm coming with you.

Riley!

It's me! It's me!

Riley!

Shit!

Riley!

Riley, I'm going with you!

Riley, yes, I'm going with you!

Riley, don't go!

I'm coming with you!

Yeah!

Don't go!

Riley! I'm going with you!

Yeah! Wait!

Don't go!

Don't go!

| thought you weren't coming.

What? No. I'm coming.

Yeah, | wanna come.

Look, see? I'm all packed.

Got it together. Let's go.

What, that's all you need?
That's all you need?

What?

Are you gonna leave all this?

Oh, well, no...well...
maybe I'd better get that shoe.

This skirt over here.

How about this slip, huh?
Nice slip.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

And how about these furry slippers?

- | don't know.
- I'll wear these furry slippers.

Here, pack these furry slippers.

Yeah, pretty nice slippers.

Hey. Hey, what about this?

Hey, give me that.

Hey, Riley, do you have a dog
or a cat or anything?

What? No.

Well, | never had a pet,
and | thought maybe we could get one.

Yeah, well, how about
we start with a fish,

or a turtle, or maybe something
that you don't have to feed?