Nobility (2017) - full transcript

Yeeehaw.

Aw shit.

Billy, do you copy?

This is Takashima.

I'm under attack,
repeat, I'm under attack.

Shit!

Billy, come in,
this is Takashima,

do you copy?

I need help!

I am Lt. Sirius Halud

and I am Eujen.



I have been selected
to represent my people

on the starship Nobility.

And while I am
certain these are not

the heroes the Confederate
Alliance is looking for,

they may just be the
ones humanity needs.

Hail, brother.

Alethes.

Hello, it is good
to hear from you.

Are you on the ship
yet, this Nobility?

Not yet, I'm on the
transport shuttle still.

How do you feel
about working under

this Captain Cern?

It will be an honor.

I'm to serve with the
rest of the crew as well.



These people are serving aboard

the flagship of the
Confederate Alliance.

Obviously the best
stock humans have

to offer, Eujin-like.

Almost.

We'll see how much
like us they really are.

Permission to come aboard.

Danger, danger.

Would you quit that?

Quit, stop it, I'm sick of you!

Sorry.

Is, um,

is that the computer?

That's for me to know

and you to find out.

Ugh!

What is that thing?

Um, well, thank you.

Have a nice day.

Ma'am, there's a
transmission for you.

If it's that
Eujin ambassador again,

I'll...

Endearingly say hello.

Ambassador.

This is the third time
you've contacted us.

I have told you,
your liaison officer

is docked and is
presently on his way

to report for duty.
I'm presuming

I'm not speaking
with the captain

because he went to meet
our liaison officer

in person?

Of course.

What could be more
important than your officer?

Wait!

Aren't you supposed
to be on the bridge?

Right.

Well.

I'll let you carry on.

Thank you.

Ops, please
inform the captain that

the Eujin ambassador has
contacted us yet again.

Oh, and tell him to
get his ass up here.

I'm headin' to med bay.

When I first heard
about the arrival

of a liaison
officer to represent

the 'jins, excuse
me, the Eujin people,

for this documentary I admit

I was a little worried.

I mean, tensions, as they are

in the Confederate Alliance.

How would the
Captain react to him?

Would he get along
with the crew?

I certainly didn't
like the idea of him

trying to convert the crew.

Alright, you
little flaming meteor

from hell.

I got your number.

Thanks, sweetheart.

Hm, ust like I like it.

Ooh!

And you are? (Video game makes

(losing sound)

I'm sorry, the,
uh, lift was broken

and I seem to have
gotten lost looking

for an alternate
path to the, uh,

the bridge.

Oh, Hallud, Sirius
Hallud, your new

weapons and Eujins officer, sir.

I usually only have that effect

on the ladies.

Welcome aboard, lieutenant.

I'm sure everything's
going to be fine.

It's just a shame
you didn't show up

a couple of minutes earlier.

The Eujin ambassador
would have loved

to see that grand entrance.

Captain, I do apologize...

Who cares?

I'm sorry?

Who cares?

You're not the
first person to see

me from that angle.

You're not going to be
the last, who cares?

I don't understand...

Takashimi, get in here.

Who is...?

You been to medical yet?

Um, no, not yet,
I was going to...

Yes, Captain?

Take our new Eujin
liaison officer

to the medical bay
for his routine scan.

It's pretty safe to
say he needs a guide.

Should we not go
over the ship's...?

Bah, forms and
formalities can wait.

Right now, I really want
you to get acquainted

with the ship.

Yes, sir, it is just that...

Come to my quarters
afterwards for dinner.

We'll do the whole
formal welcome aboard

speech then, okay?

- That would be wonderful.
- Taka?

- Come on, mate.
- Good.

- Right this way.
- Dismissed.

Yes, sir.

Let's go.

Oh, boss level.

You are one ugly motha, ha!

So you're our Eujin, huh?

I don't know why it
took them so long

to send us one of y'all.

Ever since you people joined the.

Confederate Alliance
you've been signing

up to the Navy in droves.

Well, it has taken
some time to...

Well, I better
show you what's what.

So, what this way
is astrometrics.

Over there is weapons control,

that's gonna be your hangout.

Over here is medical,
straight ahead

is computer core,
and right around

the corner is the crew quarters.

If you really want
to have some fun,

right there is what we like

to call the party room.

Ah-ha!

Party room?

Yeah, it's a little nickname for

the officers' lounge.

Now you gotta be careful,
because just last week.

Mooney got mad at Johnny
for kicking him out,

so he rigged the
entire thing to give

an electroshock
to whoever enters.

Whooo, that is one man
whom you don't want to

stand between him and
his whiskey, no sir.

Who is this Mooney?

Speak of the devil,

hey, Mooney!

How's my chief engineer?

Hey, did you ever
figure out how to make

the sub-engine last on wine?

Hydrobolic sacrosanctic.

No, I'm good, thank you.

You okay, Mooney?

Good day so far?

Okay, Mooney, I'll see you in

the engineering room.

It's all a conspiracy.

Yeah, he don't talk too much.

Come on, right this way.

And finally, right
over here is the

one and only sick bay.

Takashima, shut up.

Yes, sir.

Yes, ma'am.

I'm male, sir.

You must be our token Eujin.

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, I get it.

Captain must have
thought it would be funny,

sticking you with us.

Nothing I cannot handle, ma'am.

Hm, perhaps having you on board

might not be too terrible.

Ooh, she likes you, I can tell.

Doc, we got company.

Bilhah?

Hey, Taka.

Doc, what in
tarnation are you doing?

Doctor Bilhah Barnum,

at your service.

Halud, Sirius.

Taka.

It's for you.

Oh!

Yes sir.

Ma'am! Yes, ma'am.

What happened to your uniform?

Just right over,
come on, there we go.

So you'll be surprised just what

an intestinal explosion
will do to fabric.

Subdermal
communicator, you are now

linked into the ship's network.

The what?

Don't worry, I
graduated from Harvard

at the top of my class.

An Earth school, no less.

I've never lost a patience.

Have you had many?

Sir, I've just been
told, the captain

wants you to meet
him at this quarters

after you're done here.

How long should take take?

Should be about an hour

while he prods and pokes you.

And then you get to go
see the captain again!

You lucky dog.

Excuse me?

For what?

Oh, this is Dr. Allard.

If you want your head examined,

he is the shrink to speak.

I think what Takashima
is trying to say

is that I'm the
ship's psychiatrist.

If you need any help at all.

I'd be happy to

set up an appointment.

You know, I just love
greeting new people.

It's nice to meet you.

Oh, it's nice to meet you too.

And this new Eujin?

I'm so looking forward
to getting to know him.

Well, I must be off now.

To my meeting with Mr. Mooney.

Oh and remember, I love you.

So, here's hoping.

Come on, come out wherever
you are you little camper.

Aah, die a bloody death!

Captain, incoming message

from HQ.

Goddammit!

What do you want?

Admiral, sir.

Careful, captain.

Yes, sir.

What is the status of
your recent arrivals?

As you can see

we've got your cameras
up and running.

But I have to be honest, sir.

I'm not sure about this whole

documentary idea.

We run the risk of
exposing too much.

Captain, you know
how much we need this.

What about your
other new arrival?

Lt. Halud?

Switching to internal com.

He's fine, I suppose.

It's just going to take
a little bit of time

for the crew to get used to him.

Good, the Eujins
would have created

a diplomatic incident
if we did this

and there was no one
here to represent them.

Agreed.

Now I contacted
you for a reason.

I have a job for you, Captain.

We've been receiving
strange signals

from Tyco sector of
the Sol-Ort Cloud.

I'm ordering you to investigate.

Are you kidding me?

I'm sorry?

You're going to send
the flagship of the fleet,

the one that you're
trying to show to

all of Earthdom that
the Confederate Alliance

is not just a bunch of
pencil-pushing bureaucrats

with their heads up their...?

On a milk run?

Yes.

Sir, I...

It will be
a tremendous opportunity

to see how the crew reacts
in front of the camera.

Plus, you can break in
that new weapons officer.

Are you alright?

I didn't think the Eujins were a

compassionate type.

The strength of
the species depends

on the health of the individual.

The Captain and I,
we've known each other

since Academy days.

This boss is going down!

Ah, no smoke bombs!

Captain?

Yeah?

You didn't call me last night.

Oh, crap, I forgot,

I was in a staff meeting.

I'll get you dinner
tonight, honey, promise.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Captain?

Yes?

HQ is waiting for
your weekly report.

Ah, yeah, thanks
for reminding me,

I'll get right on that.

Ooh!

We have a complex history.

Wrong ass.

Hm, pasta?

Sure.

Exercise in
behavior modification.

This is unacceptable.

Are you disobeying
a direct order?

No, sir.

Cern out.

Alright, everyone,

we're going to make a short

supraliminal trip to
the Sol-Ort Cloud.

Hey, kid, you
better watch out for this!

Ah-ha!

Taka, easy on him.

Yes, sir.

Taka.

Sorry, sir.

It's a little too
hard to resist.

Dammit.

Mooney, check the cargo bay.

Yep, he did it again.

How did you do that?

Taka turned down the
relativity counter force

just enough to give
you a little jolt.

The rest of us knew
it was coming because

we know what a cowboy.

Taka is.

Right.

Captain, look!

Taka!

I'm on it!

What the hell is that, Sirius?

A sentry of some kind, sir.

The hell is an armed
sentry doing out here?

Alert status.

Alert status.

Return fire!

Yes, captain!

Shield status?!

Shields at 69%.

How many are left?!

You do not want to know.

Alert status.

Captain!

Shit.

Can we go around it?

Looks like we're boxed in.

If we stop or reverse
course, I cannot

guarantee the shields will hold.

Mooney, prepare to
fire the main cannon.

Alert status.

Cristination bipolar.

Prepare to fire the main canon.

Main canon powering up.

I'm reading an instability.

Will it harm the ship?

I, I do not know.

What the...?!

Fire!