No Solicitors (2015) - full transcript

(bouncy and playful
orchestral music)

(jogger panting)

(wheels rattling on sidewalk)

(bouncy and playful
orchestral music)

(motor sputtering)

(bouncy and playful
orchestral music)

(jarring percussion accent
over skittering electronics)

- (gasps) Please,
stop it (sobs)!

Stop!

(woman shrieking over
menacing electronic accent)

I'll do whatever
you want, please!



(shrill and menacing
electronic accent)

Please, stop (sobs),
don't do this, please!

(menacing electronic music)

Why are you doing to me?

Stop it, please!

(shrill and menacing
electronic accent)

Please, please, please, please!

I'll do anything!
(fabric ripping)

(sobs) Please, don't kill me!

(swell of menacing
electronic music)

Let me go, please!

I'll do anything you
want, anything, anything!

Please (screams)!
(tense electronic music)

(woman screaming over tense,
menacing electronic music)



(ominous ambient music)

- [Lewis] Oh, Sam?

It's unusual to have
you stop by my office

this early in the morning.

- [Sam] I have some
wonderful news for you.

- And that might be?

- I had a call
from Medical Board.

They have announced that
they are honoring you

as the foremost brain
surgeon in the country.

That means that you
will be the recipient

of the prestigious
Mayflower Award.

You know, this is just
so good for the hospital.

Yeah, well, that
being said (sighs),

congratulations, my friend.

They couldn't have given
it to a more deserving guy.

- Thank you, Sam.

(ominous ambient music)

If you only knew.

Thank you, Sam.

(ominous ambient music)

- [Ralph] And how long
has she been missing?

- Uh, I think about five days.

- And how old is she?

- 20.

- What was she wearing
the last time you saw her?

- Um, jeans and her
favorite T-shirt,

but she loves to wear dresses.

She's got a lotta clothes.

- Is it normal for her
to disappear like this

for long periods of time?

- No, uh, she never does this!

Even her best friend
doesn't know where she is,

and I called the school
and her work (sobs).

- All right, do you
have a photograph?

- Yes.

(dramatic piano
and orchestration)

- OK, Zukowski!

- I went to her apartment,

and the dog was unsated
and thirsty, I'm just not--

- Why don't you take my card.

If you hear anything from her,

please don't hesitate to call.
- OK.

- Now, this officer will go
ahead and show you out, arright?

- Please, detective,
whatever you can do,

she's all we've got.

- We're gonna do everything
we can to find her, OK?

- OK.
- All right.

(dramatic piano)

- [Ralph] All right, that
brings us to six missing persons

in the last three months.

- That's frustrating,
and I don't see a pattern

or a connection to
any of these people,

let alone any bodies
showing up anywhere.

- Yeah, it beats the
shit outta me, too.

Listen, Davenport, I want
you to run cross-references

on high schools,
colleges, clubs,

anything else you can
think of that might, uh,

make a connection
with these people.

- I'm on it, I'll also
check with the hospitals,

see if there's any
John or Jane Does,

as well as the coroner to see

if there's any
unidentified bodies.

- Arright, sounds good.

(sighs) Come on,
people, talk to me!

Help me find you.

(muffled chatter over
dramatic orchestral music)

- [Doctor] I am so very sorry.

(Sophia sobbing)

- You know how much
Annie loves Maria.

She would give her own
kidney if she could.

It was a freak accident that
both her kidneys got damaged.

- Accident or not, if she
had kept an eye on her,

none of this would
have happened.

For God's sake, she's
our only child (snivels),

and if she doesn't get a
kidney, she, she'll die.

- So, Sophia, I've
been making calls,

searching the internet,

contacting all my business
associates throughout Europe.

I've even checked the
experimental possibilities.

The hospital is doing
everything it can.

It's not like we
can't afford it,

and she's almost at the
top of the waiting list!

- (sobs) But David,
she's only got two weeks!

Listen, I don't
care what it takes,

you find a kidney for
our baby girl (sobs).

(dramatic electronic music
with ominous undertones)

- [Man On Left] Excuse me,

I really don't
mean to bother you.

- What can I do for you?

- [Man On Left] Actually,
it's what I might

be able to do for you.
(tense electronic music)

- One kidney, patient's name?

All right, got it,
there's a small rush fee.

Once we verify the deposit,
we'll have the kidney delivered.

Arright.
(phone clicks)

- So?

- Well, Sis, we have an
order for one kidney.

- Male or female?

- (scoffs) Not that it
matters, but it's for a female.

- How much do we get?

- 125K.

- Holy shit (laughs),
you're too much!

- What, it's a rush order
and keep your voice down!

You don't want Mom to
hear you cursing, do you?

- She's gonna be so happy!

Mom, I got some good news!

- [Rachel] Oh, I'll
be right there.

- She's gonna lose
her fucking cookies!

- Stop, she's gonna
hear you cursing!

Why's she gonna
lose her cookies?

- She's got her eyes on a
purse that costs three grand.

(Scott gasps)

That's why Dad can't freak out.

- Good point, let's hope
the donor and patient

are a match type for the kidney.

- I'm gonna call him.
- OK.

(dramatic piano and
orchestral music)

(Lewis sighs)

- Hello?

- Hey, Daddy, it's me.

We have an order for a kidney,
(Rachel gasps)

but I guess you know
that since you have a guy

stationed near the hospital
for needy patients.

- OK, one kidney
coming up after dinner.

Is your mom home?

- Yeah, hang on.

- Hi, honey, how was your day?

- Well, as my head nurse, you
should be the first to know.

I am being honored as the
country's leading brain surgeon.

- Oh, Lewis, that is fantastic,

and you certainly deserve it.

Think of all the
lives you've saved.

Congratulations, I think
this calls for a celebration!

How 'bout I make that special
souffle for dinner tonight?

- Sounds great, look, I have
to make a stop on the way home,

so I will see you
in a little bit, OK?

- Love you, OK.

OK, kids, let's make this a
special night for your father.

I want everything to be perfect.

In the meantime, could
you please go check

on our patients' meds, give
them their sponge baths,

and change those bandages.

- Sure, Mom.

- Thank you.

- Oh, Mom?

- Yes, baby?

- Can I please
practice my technique?

(Rachel groans)

- Come on, Mom,
there's no salvos left,

so she can't damage anything.

- Come on, please,
please, please, please?

- I guess that'll be OK.

You have assisted your
father and I a lot.

You kids go have fun.

- Thank you.
- OK, babies.

(Nicole giggles with excitement)

- We finally get to play doctor!

- I know right (giggles), yeah.

- [Scott] I'll race you.

- Yeah, you OK?

- [Scott] Yeah.
- Let's go!

(both panting and laughing)

- Scott, unplug the machine,

I'll just roll him
into the next room.

- OK.
(Nicole panting)

(medical equipment beeping
over ominous electronic music)

(monitor beeping rapidly)

(sustained beeping
tone from monitor)

(ominous electronic music)

Ready, Doctor?

- Ready, Doctor.

(flesh crunching over uneasy,
throbbing electronic music)

(saw whirring)

(saw crunching through bone)

- [Scott] OK, Nicole, we're
ready to remove the brain.

- All right, you are a
very cool brother, mwah!

(slaps pattering over tense,
ominous electronic music)

(laughs) All right.

(scalpel crunching
through brain tissue)

(brain squishing over tense,
ominous electronic music)

(laughs) That is so rad!

- All right, I need
to grind the bones

that I use in the garden.

If you don't mind
checking on our patients,

I'll finish up here.

- No, it'll be my pleasure.

- All right.

- I'll go pu this on ice.

(tense and menacing
electronic music)

- [Ralph] So Davenport, anything
come back with your search?

- Not a thing, I have a
few calls out to my friends

at the bureau, maybe they'll
come up with a connection.

- (sighs) I'll be
surprised if they do.

This just feels local to me,

and something about these
people just doesn't fit.

I mean, (sighs) did you
check with their employers?

- Yes, and they're not
connected to any single company.

- All right, let's go back
to the families again.

See if maybe they
knew each other.

Let's also check,
uh, medical history.

Maybe they had the same doctor,

and, uh, let's get phone
bills, credit card statements,

you know, the usual shit, Jules.

- This isn't my first
barbecue, Ralph.

- Eh, well, somebody's
got a bone to pick.

- Really?

(lid snapping)

- How's everyone feeling today?

- Fuck you.

(tense and menacing
electronic music)

(files slamming on counter)

- [Nicole] What'd you just say?

- I said, fuck you.

You and your family are
fucking crazy and sick!

- Fuck me?

(William groaning over
menacing electronic accent)

(William sobs)

That kind of language is
gonna cost ya something.

(William groaning)

(scalpel slicing through flesh)

(William groaning over
menacing electronic music)

(William gurgling)

(tongue crackling and cracking)

(William whimpers)

- Good job, Nicole.

- Aw, the poor boy fainted
from a little pain,

and if any of you even
thinks of telling my mother

about me cursing, I'll cut
your fucking tongue out

just for the fun of it!

- [Scott] All set, Sis?

- Yeah, how 'bout you?

- I'm hungry.

- Yeah, me, too, I'll
finish up their meds,

and I'll meet you up there.

- OK.

(ominous and tense
electronic music)

- Now, as you know, we
are a no-nonsense group

that only focus on results.

We do not limit you to
specific territories,

and we encourage
door-to-door solicitations.

Now, please review the
envelopes in front of you

about how to approach
potential clients.

- I have a question, Marvin.

- Yes, Mindy, what
can I do for you?

- Well, since we don't have
any specific territories,

and you want us to get listings,

how far can we go
to get the listings?

- Well, I'm not sure where
that question is coming from.

Can you be just a little
bit more specific?

- (laughs) What I mean
is, do we bring cookies

or can we flirt?

- Well, Mindy, I
suggest you discover

what works best for you.

If cookies doesn't do it and
flirting gets you in the door,

then I don't see
anything wrong with that,

but keep in mind you
represent Sonic Realty,

so be cautious not
to cross the line!

- Well, Marv, if
neither approach works

and some of my other
ideas don't pan out,

don't expect me to show
up for work ever again.

- And we should be so lucky.

Well, Mindy, I know that
you are resourceful,

so please, just go
out there and get 'em.

- I have a few ideas to present
that should knock 'em dead.

(ominous electronic music)

- OK, that's it everybody,
everybody just have a great day.

(envelope rustling)

- OK, neighborhood.
(finger thwacking on map)

You're it,

be ready for me,
because here I come.

I will not take no for an
answer, so you might as well

invite me in for my
pitch (lips snapping).

(Mindy laughs) Hello?

Hi, honey, how are our
honeymoon plans coming along?

(Julie sighs)

- I drew a blank with
my guys at the bureau.

- [Ralph] Uh-huh.

- [Julie] What's weird is
that each one of these victims

have completely different jobs.

- Well, there's gotta be
something that connects

these people, I mean,
they didn't just vanish.

- (scoffs) Maybe it was aliens.

- (chuckles) You know, at
this point, I would take that.

All right, let's go
back to the beginning.

See if maybe we
overlooked a link.

- We've already checked
a thousand times,

and there doesn't seem
to be any connection!

- Look, I agree,
just dig deeper, OK?

Go back to the childhood,
maybe they went

to the same summer
camp or something.

- You're starting to sound like
this is a revenge situation.

- Listen, honestly, I
don't have a fucking clue

what's going on here,
and until we find a body,

we have to consider that
these people are together.

- Hey, what if they're
planning a heist?

(muffled office chatter)

- Let me see if I
understand this correctly.

We have a political intern,
a construction salesman,

a cosmetics lady,
a census taker,

and a Bible thumper
and, my favorite,

the Girl Scout troop
leader who sells cookies.

My guess is that they
probably all teamed up

with your aliens to
plan the heist, right?

(scoffs) Yeah, that works.

Hey, guys, hey, you know what?

It's cool, we cracked
the case, it's aliens.

- And your ideas are
so much better, Ralph.

Oh, wait, you don't have any.

(Julie speaking
foreign language)

(tense and dramatic strings)

(doorbell rings)

- No solicitors,
we'll see about that!

(Mindy clears her throat)

(tense and dramatic
strings and piano)

- [Scott] May I help you?

- (gasps) Why, yes,
my name is Mindy,

and I represent Sonic Realty.

I noticed how beautiful
your house is,

and I was wondering if you
would consider selling it.

- [Rachel] Who's at the door?

- It's a realtor wondering if
we wanted to sell the house.

- [Rachel] Can you handle it?

- Yeah, I got it, Mom.

Sorry about that.

- As I was saying,
your house is perfect

for a few clients I have
that are in the market.

- I appreciate that, but I
don't know how that stuff works.

- Oh, I can show you
how it all works.

- So, what'd be the first step?

- It would be helpful
to see the house.

- When would you like to see it?

- Well, I have some time
right now if you're free.

- Hey, I have a great idea.

My dad's actually on his way
home for dinner right now

and since it would
be his decision,

and if you're not busy, why
don't you stay for dinner

and have a chat with my dad.

- Only if you will be
joining us for dinner

and some chat (giggles).

- Please, come in.

I hope you like rump roast.

- Mm, sounds delicious, and
I have cookies for dessert.

(pleasant piano)

(tense and ominous strings)

(door slams shut)

(tense and ominous strings)

- Mindy, this is
my sister, Nicole.

- Oh, (gasps), oh!

What a pleasure to meet you.

- It's nice to meet you, Mindy.

(vaguely unsettling piano
over ominous ambient music)

Are you here for my brother?

- Actually, Nicole,
Mindy's a realtor.

She's interested in
our house to sell.

- Oh, really?
(throbbing percussion)

- I told her Dad
was on his way home,

and she can go over
the details with him.

I also invited Mindy for dinner.

- I hope I'm not
interrupting a family dinner!

- Not at all, sweetie, why
don't we have a glass of wine?

Do you prefer white or red?

- Whatever you
have open is fine.

- Great.

- Nicole, why don't you take
Mindy into the family room?

I'll get some drinks,
we have both open.

- OK, then, red wine, please.

- Mindy, this is our mom.

- Nice to meet you.

- I brought cookies.

- Oh, how very sweet, thank you!

I overheard you'll be
staying for dinner, perfect!

(laughs) Scott, drinks, please?

- Sure, Mom.

- OK, so, tell us how
you've come to our home.

- Well, there are no
boundaries at our company,

and, to be honest, I just
pointed to a neighborhood

on the map and your
area is what I chose!

- What about your coworkers.

- Wouldn't someone
have picked this area

or have it assigned
by your boss?

- Actually, no, and my boss has
no clue where I am (laughs)!

We're free to solicit business
wherever we feel comfortable.

- Wow, I wish I had a boss
that didn't care where I was.

- And you don't have to call
in or anything like that?

- No, it's a really cool job!

No micromanagement, I'm
free to do as I choose,

as long as I get results.

- Well, Mindy, we're
gonna do everything we can

to make you feel very
comfortable with us!

- That sounds great!

You are such nice people,
I could stay here forever!

- That sounds fabulous.

- And we can arrange that.

(all laughing over
ominous electronic music)

Come on in, let's have some
drinks, play some games.

You just, you know.

- [Mindy] (laughs)
I'm actually hungry!

(footsteps clacking)

- What did you find out?

- She's perfect, no
reporting to a boss,

and no one knows where she is.

Now, all we gotta do
is find out what car

she came with and ditch it.

- That's the idea.
(Nicole laughs)

- Yeah, yeah.

(pleasant easy listening music)

Uh, so you've got a busy week
ahead of you, that I heard,

in district two, huh?

- [Mindy] Mm-hmm.

- OK, oh!

(relaxed easy listening music)

- You ladies having
a nice conversation?

- [Mindy] Mm.

- Scott, you're always
good at giving toasts.

How about one?

- Sure, Mom.

Here's to meeting a new
friend that will, hopefully,

be with us long enough
to make a lotta money.

- I'll drink to that.

Money's a good thing,

and I hope my being
here brings you lots.

- I'm sure you will.

- [Nicole] Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Mm, delicious!

- [Nicole] Mm-hmm.

- Boy, that dinner
smells delicious!

- It's the freshest
meat you can get!

- You look pretty
edible yourself.

- [Scott] As do you.
(Mindy chuckles)

(pleasant easy listening music)

(door rattling)

- Hello, I'm home!

- [Rachel] We're in the family
room and we have company!

- [Lewis] Hmm.

(all laughing)

Hello, baby!

- Hi, Daddy!

- Mm, glad you're home.

- [Lewis] Hello, doll.

- [Rachel] Hi.
(lips smacking)

- Dad, I'd like
you to meet Mindy.

- Please, sit down.

To what do we owe this pleasure?

- [Nicole] Mindy is a realtor.

She has clients that may be
interested in buying our home.

- Well, that sounds promising.

- We thought we'd have
cocktails and then dinner,

and then show her the
house before dessert.

- They forgot to mention I plan

on making you lots of money.

- I'm sure you will.

You look very healthy.

- Oh, I work out
three times a week,

so I'm in excellent
condition (laughs).

What do you do?

- Actually, I'm a brain surgeon.

- Oh, that's amazing!

(scoffs) I don't
know how you do that,

the sight of blood
makes me weak.

- [Both] Most people
feel that way (laughing).

- No, our surgery's
very specialized.

Nicole, would you please
help me serve the dinner?

Scotty, open a nice
bottle of wine for dinner.

- Sure.

- Oh, oh, please don't
go to any trouble!

- Don't be silly, it's
no trouble at all.

- Salud.

(glasses clinking)

(pleasant soft rock music)

(footsteps clacking)

- Thank you.

- You're welcome,
(groans mockingly).

(Nicole sighs)

- Oh, this smells delicious!

What kind of meat is it?

- [Scott] See if you can guess.

- Mindy, be careful of Scott,
he's a practical joker.

- Oh, I grew up with a
brother, so I'm used to that.

(Lewis chuckles)

(swell of ominous
electronic music)

(Mindy gasps)

Mm, not sure, but it is tasty.

- Well, good.

- Mm, maybe I need some more
wine to cleanse my palette.

(tense and ominous
electronic music)

(liquid bubbling)

(tense and ominous
electronic music)

- Cheers.
(Mindy chuckles)

(quietly menacing
electronic music)

- OK, one more bite,
and then I will guess.

Oh,

mm!

- Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

- I'm glad you're
enjoying the meal.

- It's Mama's special recipe.

- Yeah, kind of a family secret.

- I'm going to guess it is, um,

a wild animal of some type.

- In this case, you are close.

- (gasps) I get it, did
you hunt this, Scott?

- You got me, I made the kill.

- Am I good or what (laughs)?

(scattered laughter)

(Mindy belches)

Oh, my apology.

- No, darling, we all do it.

- (gasps) That's never
happened to me before!

(sighs) Must be too much wine.

- Sweetheart, no such thing.

Wine is the nectar of the gods!

(quietly tense and
unsettling piano)

- So, Mindy, do you
have a boyfriend?

- Why, Scotty, are you
interested or curious or--

- We're all very interested.

- Ooh, family affair.

Oh (laughs), that
did not sound right!

I did not mean it
that way (giggles).

- That's OK, we're
a tight family.

- Oh, nothing kinky, I hope.

- Of course not.

- We do run a family
business, though, um.

Rachel is head nurse,

and Scott and Nicole run
the back office for orders.

- I thought you were
a brain surgeon.

- I am, but we also have
a small side business.

- Mm, what kind of business?

- We're in the parts business.

- [Nicole] Body parts.

- For cars?

- No, we deal with
real body parts.

- Wait, wait, wait,
wait (laughs).

When you say real body parts,

do you mean you have
a tattoo business?

- Maybe you should have
another sip of wine.

It will help you
with your transition.

- Transmission?

(dramatic and tense
orchestral music)

(head thuds to table)

- Oh-ho-OK, well done.

Let's get her downstairs.

And get the IV going so
she sleeps all evening.

Let's see what we got going.

(head thuds to table)

(dramatic and tense
orchestral music)

- Is everyone comfortable?

(gasps) Oh, you poor boy!

Nicole, please put a bit
more morphine in his drip

to ease his discomfort.

- But, Mom, he said
the F-word to me.

- Well, that wasn't very nice!

You know, their little
brother never understood

the importance of not
using foul language.

May he rest in peace.

William, you promise me not to
use that bad language again,

and I will give you
some pain relief.

- Mom, he can't speak, remember?

- Hmm, well, I'm in a good
mood, so give him what he needs.

(dramatic and tense
orchestral music)

- So, which patient is
a donor for the kidney?

- Jack.

- Have you checked
him for a match?

- Yes, Dad, it's perfect.

- OK, prep him up.
(gloves thwacking)

(William groans)

Scott, do you have the
donor carrying case ready?

- [Scott] All set, Dad.

- [Lewis] Rachel, are we ready?

- [Rachel] Yes, Doctor.

- [Lewis] Oh, so formal!

- [Rachel] (laughs)
Well, you are

the leading brain
surgeon in the country!

- [Lewis] I suppose you
are correct, darling, yes.

Scalpel?

- [Rachel] Scalpel.

(flesh crunching over dramatic
and tense orchestral music)

- [Lewis] Organ skin retractor.

- [Rachel] Skin retractor.

(tense and increasingly
ominous orchestral music)

(scalpel scraping)

- [Lewis] Here, honey,
for your first solo,

but first, tell me
what do you see.

- [Nicole] I see the right
and left renal artery.

- [Lewis] Excellent,
my daughter the doctor!

- [Rachel] Nicole we
are so proud of you!

You're going to make
an excellent surgeon.

- [Lewis] Good work, sweetheart.

- [Nicole] Thanks, Daddy.

- [Lewis] OK, let's
lift it out, and--

(organ squishing)

- [Nicole] From the
kidneys I've seen,

this one looks pretty healthy.

- [Lewis] Excellent eyes.

This is a good specimen.

(tense electronic music)

Good work,
sweetheart, good work.

- [Nicole] Thanks, Daddy.

- [Scott] (laughs) Maybe I
should ask for more money.

- [Lewis] That's my boy!

- [Nicole] Kay, you got it?

- [Scott] Got it.

- [Nicole] OK.

- [Scott] OK, I'll make
arrangements for the delivery.

- [Lewis] Yes, please.

(ominous electronic music)

(Ralph sighs)

- How may I help you.

- Good evening, Ma'am.

I'm Detective Swarez, this
is Detective Davenport.

We're investigating
some missing persons.

- Have you seen any
of these people?

- No, I can't say that I have.

- Any John or Jane
Does in the ER?

- No, and as you
know, we're required

to notify the police
if any come in.

- Of course, we won't take
up any more of your time.

Here's my card, if
anything does come in,

will you please contact us?

- Sure.

- Thank you very much.

(ominous electronic accent)

- [Delivery Man] This is the
organ donor that was requested.

Order number 3445KDN.

- Please sign in here
for proof of delivery.

- [Delivery Man] Of course!

- This couldn't have
come at a better time.

This is certainly gonna
save that girl's life.

- We've done
everything that we can.

I'm so sorry to
say, but your son

is in critical need
of a new heart.

The valves were too badly
damaged in the accident.

(woman sobbing over dramatic
piano and orchestral music)

- Please say this
isn't happening to me.

Do something!

Why can't you do something?

You just fix it!

(dramatic orchestral music)

- How long do you think
you can keep him alive

while we wait for a new heart?

- We have him on life support,

but we can't have
him there for long.

- Do whatever it takes, Doc.

- All right.

(muffled chatter over
ominous orchestral music)

- [Delivery Man] I'm at the
hospital making the delivery.

There's a couple in need
of a heart for their son.

Just a heads up, there
were some cops here

inquiring about some
missing persons.

- OK, got it, thanks.

(dramatic and ominous
orchestral music)

- Is everything all right, dear?

- Yeah, Mom, just
some cops snooping

around the hospital
about missing persons.

Good news is, it seems
a heart is needed.

I'll make the call
and negotiate the fee.

- Great (laughs), Mom,

it looks like you're
gonna get that new dress!

- Dress, what dress?

- Oh, come on, Daddy,
it's a really cute dress

that Mom really needs,
and it's on sale!

- Oh, boy, those dreaded words!

- [Nicole] What words?

- On sale.

- Now, boys, it's important

that us girls look
and feel our best.

- All right, do I
dare ask the cost?

- Not unless you wanna
be the next heart donor.

(machine whirring)

(hammer thwacking into skull)

(machine whirring)

(machinery rattling
and whirring)

- Are you almost done?

(machine rumbles to a stop)

Mom's souffle is about ready.

- (sighs) Was it rude that we
didn't serve Mindy a dessert?

- Not really, Mom only
made enough for four.

Besides that, she's
trailer trash.

She probably doesn't even
know what souffle is.

- Kay, then I guess it
worked out perfectly.

- Uh-huh, so what do you
think about my new blouse?

- I don't think
Mindy will miss it.

- I know right (laughs)!

- I gotta call the
couple that needs a heart

and get their permission from
the doctor to get the specs

and see if we have a match,

and I won't mix and
distribute the chips

until tomorrow
during the day, so.

- OK, well, don't be too long

otherwise I'm gonna
eat your souffle.

- Don't you dare!

- (laughs) You've been warned!

Oh, um, by the way,
Mom needs some milk

for coffee in the morning,

do you wanna walk with me
to the store after dessert?

- I'd love to, but I still
got a lot of chippin' to do.

- OK, do you need anything?

- No, I'm good.

- All right.
(slap thwacking)

- How are we even related?

- [Nicole] Blood, baby!

(muffled chatter over
ominous electronic music)

(dramatic and ominous electronic
music with thumping rhythm)

(increasingly tense and
ominous electronic music)

(swell of tense
electronic music)

(Nicole gasps)

- If you make a sound
or scream for help,

I swear to God, I'm gonna
snap your fuckin' neck!

I'm gonna take my hand away now.

You understand what'll
happen if you scream, yeah?

- [Nicole] Mm-hmm.

- Yeah?

- [Nicole] Mm-hmm, (gasps)
what do you want (grunts)?

Do you want money, I
have a 50 in my pocket.

- I don't want your
money, I want you!

(Nicole shrieks
over fence rattling)

(dramatic and tense
orchestral music)

- (gasps) Hey, hey, hey, listen!

There's no need
to get rough, OK?

I love sex, it excites me
to do it with a stranger.

(Nicole groaning)

- If you like sex so
much, show me your tits!

- [Nicole] OK, OK,
let go, let go.

Can't be so rough with a lady,

otherwise you're
not gonna get any.

- Stop lyin'.

- You want more?

- Yeah, show me.

- OK.
- Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah.

(quietly tense electronic music)

Yeah.

- Why don't you lie down
and let me pleasure you?

- All right, one false move,

and I'll snap your
neck like a pretzel.

- We got it.

Ah-ah, lemme do that.
(zipper buzzing)

Part of the turn on for me.

(zipper buzzing over quietly
tense electronic music)

(man moans)

(man gasping over dramatic
and tense orchestral music)

(knife clicks)

(swell of tense
electronic music)

(knife crunching through flesh)

(man groaning)

(man groaning over knife
crunching through flesh

(tense and menacing
electronic music)

It woulda tasted
better with mustard.

(papers thwacking on desk)

(Ralph spits)

- Ralph, I just got a call
that there's a dead body

at the corner of the convenience
store at Forest and Main.

- You got a cause of death?

- Yes, apparently, the
throat was the killing blow.

- What does that mean?

- Well, it seems that
he's missing his penis.

- What do you mean
he's missing his penis?

- I mean it's
missing as in gone,

and according to the
officer at the crime scene,

it was cut clean with a knife,

and there's no
trace of the penis.

- OK, got it, yeah.

Uh, sounds like we might have
a collector on our hands.

- Why would anyone
wanna collect a--

- I don't know why any
sicko collects any part

after they kill
someone, but it happens.

Let's just get down there before
they contaminate the scene.

- Good point, we wouldn't
want any dick-tectives

to contaminate the
crime scene (laughs).

- Funny, Jules, real funny.
(Julie laughing)

Get your gloves.

- Why?

- Oh, hey, I don't
know, maybe because

you're gonna be
playing dick-tective

until you find me that
penis, that's why.

- You have no sense of humor.

Hey, at least it's
not a missing person!

- Gloves, and you
owe me a hot dog!

(helicopter whirring)

(muffled police radio chatter
over ominous electronic music)

Jesus Christ, that's
pretty fuckin' gruesome!

(helicopter whirring)

- Yeah, I've seen worse.

(Ralph scoffs)

- (sighs) Hey, Doc.

You got a time of death for us?

- Well, according
to the body temp,

I'd guess no more
than two hours.

- All right, sounds good.

- OK, guys, I'll confirm
the cause of death ASAP.

- All right, thanks.

- I found this by the bushes.

Looks expensive.

Looks like our perp is a woman.

- Mm, all right, let's
see, we've got a woman,

an angry tranny or a sick
couple into some nasty shit.

Bag it and tag it for forensics.

(bag rustling over dramatic
piano and orchestration)

- (whimpering) Hello?

Can anyone hear me, help!

Somebody help me, please!

What the fuck is going on here?

- No one can hear you,
and there's no escape,

so save your strength.

- For what, what's
with the oxygen tent?

- That's the last stop.

- Before?

- Before you die.

- Did you say die, what?

God, why, I have no disease!

- Did you try to
sell them anything?

- Sort of, I-I'm a realtor.

- (clicks tongue)
Bad house to call on.

Does anybody know that
you're at this address?

- (sighs) No.

My boss never asks
and we never tell

in fear of another broker
trying to steal the listing.

- Then you'll never leave here.

- I don't understand.

Lewis is a doctor and
his wife is a nurse.

Why would they keep
us here and for what?

Don't you people have
any family or friends

that will notice
that you're missing?

- I'm a single mom.

My boys will be six years old.

The last time I saw was when
I dropped them off at school.

(sobs) Who's gonna
take care of my boys?

- My mom is in a home.

I'm all that she has left.

It kills me to think of her
staring out that window,

waiting for me to visit
and I'm not gonna be there.

(Jack sobbing over
dramatic electronic music)

- My wife died three years ago

and my kids rarely visit.

I've two cats and two dogs,

and they've been at my
apartment ever since I got here.

Must look great by now.

(sighs) Poor critters.

- I'm confused, what is
it they want from us?

- I don't know how
to tell you this,

but they sell our body parts.

- Again with the body parts!

What are you talking about?

- They farm out our
kidneys, lungs, heart,

anything they can sell
on the black market.

- And it gets worse.

- How can it get
any worse than that?

- They're cannibals.

(swell of unsettling
electronic music)

(Lewis sighs)

- Dad, here's our profit
report from last month.

- Scott, this looks fantastic.

Thanks, man.
(paper rustling)

Well, time to go to work
(sighs), have a good day, baby.

- Bye, mwah.
(lips smacking)

- [Lewis] See ya, good buddy.

- [Scott] Later, Dad.

- Oh, I forgot to take
something out for dinner.

Nicole, could you please
take care of that.

- Hey, Mom, Scott
and I are wondering

if you can make the
appetizers we like.

- Fresh or frozen?

- Fresh.
- Agreed.

- We will also need a small
roast with the bone in.

- OK.

- Bye, babies.

- Bye (lips smacking).

- So, Sis, fresh
roast and appetizers!

- You got the key?
(keys rattling)

Oh, let's go!

(latch rattling over
ominous electronic music)

(Nicole gasps)

- [Scott] Every time!

- Ha, beat you (laughs).

- Come on, Nicole, you cheated!

- [Nicole] Bullshit, how?

- You pushed me to the wall.

- Sore loser!

- Excuse me, there
must be some mistake.

I'm not sick so can
I please go home.

- (laughs) Isn't she cute,
she wants to go home!

- My boss knows where I am,

and he will send the
police looking for me.

(Scott and Nicole chuckle)

- Good try, but you
told us your boss

and fellow workers have
no clue where you are.

- [Nicole] Mm-hmm.

- And for tellin' a fib, I
think you need to be punished.

Nicole?

- Mm-hmm, naughty girl!

I'll check their charts
and adjust any medicine.

Why don't you take Mindy
into the other room?

- The other room,

what does that mean,
the other room?

Stop, where are you taking me?

This just can't be
serious, this is sick!

- [Scott] Wrong, we
have a family business
to run, remember?

Body parts and of course,

all that hard work
gives us an appetite.

- Please, I have a lotta money.

I, I, you can have all of it.

I will move to another state,
I-I'll never say a word!

- Then how are we gonna
make a decent living?

Do you know how much
money has been taken away

from private medical practices?

Doctors can barely
make a profit anymore.

(tense and ominous
electronic music)

- Scott, don't, please, don't!

Scott (gasps), stop,
where are you taking me?

- Have you learned not
to talk back to me?

What's the matter, you
got nothin' to say?

Has a cat got your tongue?

Oh, no, wait, I
almost forgot, I did,

and by the way,
it was delicious.

Now, since you seem
to be behaving,

I'm gonna increase
your pain medicine

so you're more comfortable.

Would you like that?

(tense and ominous
electronic music)

I asked you a question, William!

You don't want another
punishment, do you?

That's better.
(slaps thwacking)

(Mindy whimpering over
jarring electronic accent)

(Mindy screaming over
noisy electronic accent)

(Mindy whimpering over tense
and ominous electronic music)

- Please, Scott, you
seem like a great guy.

I'm attracted to you,

and I know we could have
a great time together.

- [Scott] I'm flattered,
but no thanks.

(Mindy screaming over
jarring electronic accent)

I'm gonna give you a
few doses of morphine

so you won't feel anything.

(Mindy sobbing and gasping)

(Mindy grunts angrily)

(Mindy sobs)

(Mindy gasping over increasingly
tense electronic music)

You have beautiful fingers.

- Scott, please don't do

what it is you're
thinking about doing!

(Mindy screaming over
punchy electronic accent)

Please, I beg you!

I will do whatever you want!

(tense and menacing
electronic music)

- [Scott] Ready?

- For what?

(tense and menacing
electronic music)

Oh, for God's sake, Scott!
(Scott chuckling)

Please!

- No God here.

(Mindy screaming
over whirring saw)

(Mindy screaming over
menacing electro rock music)

- (shrieks) You're
fucking crazy!

(hatchet crunching into flesh)

(Mindy gasps)

(pleasant easy listening
music with airy flute)

(carrots rattling in pan)

(pleasant easy listening
music with airy flute)

(whisk rattling in bowl)

(pleasant easy listening
music with flowing woodwinds)

(oil sizzling over pleasant
easy listening music)

- Nicole, please take
care of the appetizers,

and I'll finish the dishes.

- [Nicole] Sure, Mom.

(pan clanging)

(oil sizzling)

- [Scott] Oh, Mom, how long
until the roast is ready?

I'm starving!

- (scoffs) Scotty,
you're always starving!

Alphabetical order, please.

- Mm, somethin' smells great!

- Yay, mwah, hi, honey!

Drinks?
- Sure, champagne.

- Uh, with a little
creme de cassis, please!

- Here it comes!
(bottles rattling)

Scott, Nicole?

- I want a dry rum.

- What are you havin', Dad?

- Uh, I'll start with a martini,

and I'll have wine with dinner.

- Works for me, I'll
get the shaker out.

- Great.

- OK, thank you, bye.

I just got off the phone with
my friends at the bureau,

and you know that
earring we found?

- Yeah, what about it?

- Well, it seems that
there's only one jeweler

in the entire city that
carries that specific design.

- That's good news.

OK, tomorrow morning,
we'll swing by

and see if they have records
on any of the buyers.

Also, the captain wants us

to start conducting
door-to-door interviews

to see if anyone can
ID any of these people.

- OK, I'll get it organized.

What have you got?

- (laughs) Nothin',
not a damn thing.

You know, it just
doesn't add up!

I mean, usually, after a
while, we come up with a body.

- That's weird.

Each one of these people seem
to have non-traditional jobs,

meaning they didn't
just sit in an office,

they're out and about.

- OK, I'll bite.

- Well, say we're dealing
with a serial killer,

then these would be
the perfect victims

for someone to stalk and attack.

- All right, assuming
that you're correct,

how does the earring
factor into it?

- She could've been an
accomplice to lure the victims.

- (sighs) Yeah, but
if that's the case,

then where are the bodies?

I mean, hell, at this point,

I would take just
a piece of a body.

(Scott groans)

- Yum.

Great seasoning, Nicole,
meat's so tender,

it just falls
right off the bone.

- [Nicole] Thanks, Scotty.

- Agreed.
(bone tinking on plate)

- I have a toast to make.

- OK.

You have our undivided
attention, Mom.

- First, to your father
for his achievement

and pending award as the
country's leading brain surgeon.

- Thank you, dear.

- And secondly, to Scott for
his brilliant business acumen.

- [Nicole] Mm.

- And to Nicole, for your
first successful surgery.

I can't think of a
more loving family!

To us!

- [All] Cheers.
(glasses tinking)

(timer buzzing)

- Mm, looks like dinner's ready.

- Yay!

(doorbell ringing)

Hm, more dinner.
(Nicole moans)

- I'll get it.
(Rachel chuckles)

- I hope so.
(Rachel chuckling)

(Lewis chuckles)

(lips smacking)

- This was on your porch.

- Thank you.

- I'm Detective Davenport,

and this is my partner,
Detective Swarez.

- [Lewis] Well, good
evening, officers.

May I help you?

- May we come in
for a few minutes?

- [Lewis] Please, by all means.

- Dad, I'm gonna go
help Mom in the kitchen

and put this in
your office, mwah!

(tense and ominous
electronic music)

- Is there a problem?

- Not at all, we're
simply conducting

door-to-door interviews
in the neighborhood

with photos of some
missing persons.

- Do you recognize
any of these people

or have you seen them in
the neighborhood recently?

(photos rustling over
quietly tense piano)

- Can't say that I have.
(Julie sniffing)

- Sorry for sniffing, I
didn't get lunch today,

and something smells amazing.

- That's my wife's cooking.

May I offer you two
a sandwich to go?

- Oh, no, thanks, we
appreciate the offer.

- Uh, can you confirm
for our records

that this is the home
of Dr. Lewis Cutterman.

- Yes, it is, and
I am Dr. Cutterman.

- All right.

Thank you, Doctor.

Uh, we won't keep you from
dinner with your family.

Here's my card, if you do happen
to see any of these people,

would you please contact us?

- Certainly.

- Thank you, sir.

- Thank you, good night.

(door rattling)

What a nice guy!

- Yeah, our job would
be a helluva lot easier

if everyone was as nice as him.

- (sighs) I should've
taken him up

on that offer for that
sandwich, I'm starving!

- Oh, really, I know a great
place just down the way.

They sell the roast
beef sandwiches with
the dipping sauce,

but I suggest getting it rare.

It's the best way to eat it.

- Sounds good to me.

- Arright.

(ominous electronic music)

- They're real, real diamonds,

your daddy bought that for
me, isn't that fantastic?

- [Nicole] Pretty, was
that the anniversary gift?

- Oh, yeah, honey,
what did they want?

- It's all good.

They're canvassing
the neighborhood
for missing persons.

- [Rachel] Hmm, hmm!

(all laughing)

Oh, my goodness!

Well, then, that's
settled, dinner is served,

and then we have a heart
to deliver tonight.

- A $350,000 heart.

(Lewis clicks his tongue)

- Well done, brother!

Mom, it sounds like some
yellow diamonds for us!

- Yes, darling, big ones.

Yeah, sweetheart, yellow.

- Hello, William.

How are you doing, little buddy?

- H-Honey, uh, he
can't talk too well

after the naughty word he used.

- William,

William, we do not use
vulgarity in this house.

I hope you learned your lesson.

(slaps thwacking)

OK, so, prep the operating room.

I want it spotless.

- Got it, Dad.

- Should I start William
on his pre-op anesthesia?

- Well, thank you, sweetheart,
that would be wonderful.

- OK.

- Good, good.
(Lewis sighs)

- Now, William, you're not
still mad at me, are you?

After all, you're the one
that used that nasty word.

You're gonna feel
a cold sensation,

and then you're gonna get tired.

Everything is gonna be fine,
Daddy's really good at this.

Scott, can you please help me

roll William over to
the operating table?

- Sure, Sis.

(bed rattling)

(dramatic piano over
unsettling orchestral music)

- [Nicole] Dad, William
is prepped and ready.

- [Lewis] Here we go.

(dramatic piano over
ominous orchestral music)

Nicole, what is the procedure
for transplanting a heart?

- [Nicole] Surgeons remove
the patient's heart,

except for the back
walls of the atria.

- [Lewis] Scalpel.

- [Rachel] Scalpel.

- [Nicole] The backs of
the atria on the new heart

are opened up, and then the
heart is sewn into place.

Surgeons then connect
all the blood vessels,

allowing blood to flow
into the heart and lungs.

- [Rachel] Skin retractor.

- [Nicole] As the heart
warms up, it begins to beat.

(flesh crunching)

- [Lewis] Saw, please?

- [Scott] Here you go, Dad.

- [Nicole] Before
removing the patient

from the heart-lung machine,

surgeons check all the
connective blood vessels

and the heart
chambers for leaks.

(saw whirring over
ominous electronic music)

(Lewis sighs)

(whooshing electronic accent)

- [Lewis] OK, ready
for the spreader.

- [Rachel] Nicole,
please get the spreader.

(Lewis sighs)

(spreader clanking)

(whooshing electronic accent)

- [Lewis] All right,
time to bypass the heart.

Lemme get this sucker
on life support.

Nicole, I want you
to look at this,

and I want you to tell
your Daddy what you see.

- [Nicole] I see the right
and left coronary artery,

the, uh, posterior
descending artery,

the left anterior
descending artery,

and the acute marginal artery.

- [Scott] I'm impressed, Sis.

- [Nicole] Thanks, bro.

- [Rachel] And I think
we're ready, Lewis.

- [Lewis] Good work, team!

OK, here we go.

(dramatic piano over
tense electronic music)

If you only knew (chuckles).

(gloves clacking)

(dramatic piano over
tense electronic music)

- [Scott] OK, I gotta
make a phone call

and get this heart
to the hospital.

- [Lewis] Be careful!

- [Rachel] And could
you please stop

and pick up some chocolate.

I always have a chocolate
craving after surgery.

(all chuckling)

- [Scott] Sure, Mom.

- [Lewis] OK, girls,
let's close him up.

(dramatic piano)

- Yoo-hoo, Scotty!

- Great, here comes
shit-for-brains
motormouth busybody!

- Well, hello, Scott!

- Hello, Mrs. Rogers,
how are you today?

- I'm just fine, thank you.

I'm taking Precious for a walk.

- Oh, Precious, you wanna play
in that nasty little dirt?

- (gasps) Heavens no, I
just gave Precious a bath,

and we don't want dirty
feet in our house,

do we, sweet girl (kissing)?

- (laughs) Oh, Precious,
listen to your mommy.

- You know, I just can't believe

how beautiful your
flowers always look.

Now, Scott, I know you're
using something special

in your garden because
you have the best flowers,

so if I promise
not to tell anyone,

will you share your
secret with me?

- Well, to tell you the truth,

I do have a special ingredient.

- Ooh, I knew it, I told all
the girls in the neighborhood

that you are so
smart and handsome

that you must have something
special in your garden.

- OK, you win, there are two
special ingredients I use,

but you promise not
to tell anyone, right?

- Cross my heart
and hope to die!

- (laughs) OK, so besides
the top-grade premium soil,

I add some root stimulants,

and then I add a small
amount of bone meal.

- Thank you so much,
and don't worry,

it'll be our little secret.

- I bet.

- Bye!
(Scott chuckles)

Say bye, Precious!

- Bye, Precious!

- [Mrs. Rogers] Bye, Scott!

- Bye (chuckles).

- [Mrs. Rogers] Thanks!
(bird cawing)

- Oh, God, if you weren't
such a pain in the ass,

I'd cook you, but you'd
probably taste like shit.

Unfortunately for you, we don't
like the taste of dog meat.

(traffic whooshing)

(door rattling)

(alarm buzzing)

(door creaking)

- Good morning.

- Morning, I'm
Detective Davenport,

and this is my partner,
Detective Swarez.

- Morning.

- Do you recognize this earring?

- Absolutely.

This is one of our
finest designs.

It was custom made by
the Pauline Alexander,

the famous designer.

We are the exclusive jeweler

in the entire city
to carry that piece.

- Oh, that's good news.

Do you happen to keep a
record of who purchased them?

- Yes, there were four sales.

Three were by credit
card, one was by cash.

- Did the cash customer
happen to leave an address?

- I believe so, let me check.

- Thank you.

(swell of dramatic
orchestral music)

(monitors beeping over quietly
tense orchestral music)

- (sighs) That poor bastard.

- (sighs) What do you
mean, poor bastard?

We're all heading there.

- Isn't there
anything we can do?

- Not unless you
have a cellphone

that can get
reception down here.

- What about trying to escape?

- It's never gonna happen,

especially because we all
have one leg and one hand,

and I know they keep the
door upstairs locked,

and we'd never be able to
fight Scott or his sick sister.

- Maybe not, but maybe
we can slow them down

from making a profit
from our parts.

- How do you plan to do that?

Eat poison?

(dramatic electronic music)

- Jack, what the fuck do
you think you're doing?

- I'm gonna fuck up

their profit and loss statement.

- And how are you gonna do that?

You know that when
they find out,

they won't take it lightly,

and you know what that means!

- Yeah, I know.

- I don't, what does that mean?

- It means that they're gonna
take away pain medication

and they make it more
painful for poor behavior.

- [Jack] When they discover
their assets have been reduced,

I'll take the
blame and the pain.

- Jack, why?

- [Jack] If I'm gonna die here
and never see my mom again,

I wanna go out fighting.

- That's not a fair fight!

They have all the cards.

- Not really, I have
a little surprise

for their torture game.
(monitors beeping)

(sighs) William, forgive me
for what I'm about to do,

but I know you would've
wanted me to do this.

(monitors beeping)

(Priscilla sobbing over
dramatic orchestral music)

(monitors beeping)

(Mindy coughs)

(monitors beeping over
dramatic orchestral music)

(sustained beeping tones over
more tense orchestration)

- No!

(Mindy sighs)

(expressive piano over
dramatic orchestral music)

(Priscilla sobs)

(Mindy whimpering)

(expressive piano over
dramatic orchestral music)

(alarm buzzing steadily)

- Crap, what are they up to?

(tense and ominous
electronic music)

Which one of you dumb
motherfuckers did this?

- I did.

- So you got out of
your comfortable bed

and decided to be stupid?

I've been generous
and gone out of my way

to make you comfortable
and pain-free, haven't I?

- What is your point, Scott?

You're eating us, you're
farming our body parts for sale,

how's that generous (laughs)?

- You ungrateful piece of shit!

OK, so you wanna be a big shot?

Let's see how you respond
to no pain medication.

How's that sound, hero?

- I heard the buzzer, what's up?

(tense and ominous
electronic music)

Which one?

- Jerk-off Jackie.

- Jack, did you get out of bed?

(panting) Guess we
need to make sure

that doesn't happen
anymore, huh?

- [Scott] Good call, Nicole,

let's get our play
tools while I set up.

- Oh, fuck yeah!

- Allow me to introduce ya'll
to the punishment chair.

(Jack whimpering over tense and
menacing electro rock music)

By the way, did Nicole
mention the movie Misery?

(bones cracking)

(Jack shrieking)

- You guys, don't,
you gotta stop it!

(Mindy whimpering)

- That hurt?

Well, how 'bout this?
(bones cracking)

(Jack screaming over
crunching bones and tendons)

(Mindy shrieks)

(Jack coughs)

- Oh my God!

(Jack shrieking over
menacing electronic music)

(bones cracking)

- Oh, no, you don't!

No falling asleep
while we're having fun!

- Good idea, Sis.
(menacing electronic music)

(syringe thwacking into flesh)

(Jack shrieks)

(Mindy and Priscilla groaning)

- I'm gonna give your
leg some pain relief

while we work on other parts.

(Jack groaning over
menacing electronic music)

(Jack panting)

- You havin' fun fuckin'
your sister, Scott?

Can't get a real guy
to fuck this bitch?

- You just don't know when to
keep your mouth shut, do you?

All right big shot,

you ever hear of the
movie called Marathon Man?

Now, Jack, this is
goin' to hurt you

more than it's gonna hurt me.

(drill whirring over
increasingly tense
electronic music)

- Open!

He's ready, Scott!

- For the record, I got
laid the other night,

so you can go fuck yourself!

(drill whirring over tense,
menacing electronic music)

- Stop it!

(Jack shrieking over
menacing electronic music)

(Mindy whimpering)

(drill whirring over
menacing electronic music)

(Jack shrieking)

(Priscilla shrieking)

(Jack gurgling and groaning)

- No (whimpering)!

(Jack groaning over
whirring drill)

- No, no (sobs)!

- I'm done with this.

Time to wake up.

(syringe thwacking into flesh)

(Jack gasping and panting)

- [Scott] Having fun?

Did you know that the eyes
are quite good to eat raw?

- It's kind of a combination
of sushi with a creamy filling.

(Jack shouts)

(scalpel crunching
into eye socket)

(Nicole gasps)

- Jack!

- [Scott] Son of a
bitch, he killed himself!

(Mindy whimpers)

- Isn't that a sin?

- Oh, I believe it is.
(Nicole laughs)

Well, let's not
waste a good thing.

- Absolutely.

(Mindy gasping)

(throbbing and menacing
electronic music)

(Priscilla wailing)

(whooping and menacing
electronic music)

- Oh, you're sick!

(menacing electronic music
with pulsing accents)

(Mindy whimpers)

(menacing electronic music
with whooping accents)

(Mindy coughing)

(swell of menacing
electronic music)

(phone ringing)

- Hello?

Oh, hi, Nicole.

What, when?
(tense electronic music)

Is your brother
there to help you?

Mm-hmm.

OK, got it, yeah.

OK, we'll have to write
this off as a business loss.

Yeah, yeah, I'll tell your mom.

No, don't worry,
baby, it's fine.

OK, sweetheart,
we'll see you later.

Mwah (snaps tongue)!

- Is everything OK?

- Yes and no.

There was a situation
in the home,

but the kids took
care of it (sighs).

- Well, what happened?

- Well, Jack pulled
the plug on William,

and the kids decided
to punish Jack.

- Oh, well, that seems fair.

- It would be, except for
Jack decided to kill himself,

so, so we lost two sellable,
valuable commodities.

- Well, not all is lost.

- Meaning?

- We could have liver
and onions for dinner.

- [Nurse On PA] Dr. Cutterman,

you're needed in neuroradiology.

Dr. Cutterman to neuroradiology.

- (lips smacking) You always
look on the bright side!

I love you.
(Rachel laughs)

- [Both] Mwah!
(lips smacking)

- I love you, too.
(Lewis clears his throat)

I'll call the kids to make
sure they have the liver ready

and they can pick up
an onion at the store.

- [Lewis] OK, darling.

- Good luck!

- So I have a challenge
for you, or a contest.

- [Scott] I'm game, what's up?

- I bet you 25 grand
William's liver

tastes better than Jack's.

- Really?

- [Nicole] Mm-hmm.

(tense and ominous
electronic music)

- 25K, huh?

- [Nicole] Mm-hmm.

- Good try, Sis, but
that's stackin' the deck!

You see, that smile on your
face that gives you away!

- What, why?

- You know full well that with
all the drugs Jack was given

for his surgery, his liver's
gonna taste slightly bitter

even with Mom's sauteed onions.

- Fuck, you're too smart.

(scalpel swishing)

(entrails plopping on floor)

(Scott grunts)

- Nicole, why don't
you take the livers

up to the refrigerator, and
I'll finish up down here.

- You got it.

(dramatic piano over
ominous electronic music)

- [Scott] Oh, Nicole?

- Yes?

- Don't forget to run to
the store for the onions.

- Absolutely, who knows,

maybe I'll have an
appetizer while I'm out.

- (scoffs) You're such a dork!

- [Nicole] Shut up!
(Scott scoffs)

(muffled screaming on TV)

- [Lewis] So which
show is this, Nicole?

- Zombies From Galaxy F-O.

- Zombies From Galaxy.

(thumping and rattling on TV)

(sighs) Hey, doll.

- How was work, Mom and Dad?

- Oh, same stuff, different day.

Well, it was!
(doorbell rings)

- OK.

- Nicole, will you
go see who that is?

- Beats me.

- Could be dessert!

(door rattling)

- Bonsoir, my name is Jean.

- Well, hello there!

Is that a French accent?

- Oui, I am a French-Canadian.

- How may I help you?

(pleasant accordion)

- It would be, uh, my
pleasure to introduce you

to some fine
perfumes from France,

and that, uh, no cost for
trying our samples, of course.

- Perfume, huh, I'd
love to try some on,

especially for free (laughs).

Please, why don't you come
in and meet the family?

- I hope I'm not, uh,
interrupting anything.

- No, no, no, not at
all, we were just about

to have cocktails before dinner.

- Well, if you are sure.

- Absolutely, come on in.

(vaguely unsettling piano)

Did I mention I
love French cuisine?

- [Rachel] First a toast,
(pleasant soft rock music)

we'd like to welcome
our new friend, Gene.

- Mom, it's pronounced Jean.

- Into our home, and
hope he stays a while.

- Oh-ho-ho, thank you, I,

I could stay here forever
with your kindndess.

- I'll drink to that.

(rhythmic and pleasant
easy listening music)

- Mm, bon, this, your
wine is excellent.

- So, are you married or
do you have a girlfriend?

- Nicole, that was
very rude, mm-mm.

- I was sitting here wondering
the same about Nicole.

- Nope, I'm totally single.

- May I, uh, propose a toast?

- [Rachel] Mm.

- I toast that we all
become, uh, good friends,

and that you enjoy
the perfume samples,

and, uh, that we get to have
dinner together very soon.

- [Nicole] Mm-hmm.

(rhythmic and pleasant
easy listening music)

- Phew, pardon me, I'm,
I'm feeling (sighs),

what is the word,
uh, a bit, uh, tipsy.

(rhythmic and pleasant
easy listening music)

- Jean, it isn't called
tipsy in English.

It's called drugged.

(phones ringing over
fax machine whirring)

- Oh, hi, Tammy!

How you doing, baby?

Ralph, why don't you come
down and see me sometime?

You too, baby (giggles)!

(phone ringing over
muffled office chatter)

- It's been days all we
have are some neighbors

in different parts of the city
saying they saw these people.

- Yeah, and with that,
the captain feels

that our door-to-door
interviews were a bust.

We're being reassigned.

- Wait, wait, wait, what about

the missing cases
we're working on?

- Were working on is correct.

The entire city
has been assigned

to the kidnapping of
the mayor's niece.

Our missing persons are
being sent to cold storage.

- So we just walk away?

What about the
fucking earring lead?

- Look, Jules (sighs),

I know you're dedicated and
that you wanna stop crime,

but sometimes, you just
haveta know when to walk away.

All right, the resources
are just not there

for us to keep chasing ghosts.

- Ghosts?

- Yeah, ghosts.

Without a solid lead, without
a single shred of evidence,

the captain'll catch hell
from the city attorney

for spending resources
that don't show

the public we're defending them.

- So, the public will feel safe,

because all law enforcement's
focused on the kidnapping

because we don't have anything

to parade in front
of the cameras?

- Yes, unfortunately,
that is how it works.

- That's bullshit!

- I agree.

(birds chirping)

- [Rachel] Good book?

- Oh, yes, it's excellent,
I can't stop reading it.

Suspense, espionage,
conspiracy theory,

what's not to like?

- Mm, kay, you know, the kids
seem awfully happy these days.

- Can you blame them?

Business is up, our Swiss
bank accounts are bulging.

- Mm, Lewis?

- [Lewis] Hmm?

- How 'bout a change?

- What do you mean?

- Well, I mean, this house.

You know how I love
to move every so often

and remodel and change
things, change is good!

- You do get restless, baby.

- Restless, we've been in
this house for five years!

- Five great years.

- Yes.

- I'll tell you what,
we'll start to look around

if it'll make ya happy.

- Oh, Lewis, you're the best
husband a woman could have.

I love you.

- I love you, too, baby.

- (giggles) Mwah!
(lips smacking)

I'll tell the kids they can
cut two roasts from Gene,

and stick it in the freezer,

and we can have
leftovers for a few days.

- What about appetizers?

(tense and ominous
orchestral music)

(grinder rattling over
ominous electronic music)

(meat squishing over
increasingly menacing
electronic music)

(cleaver thwacking
over blood splattering)

- Nicole, please wheel
Jean into the patient room

and start him on antibiotics
and stronger pain meds.

- Sure thing.

- And don't worry
about your leg, bud.

I'll take real good
care of it (chuckles).

- W-what are you doing?

Why (panting)?

Nicole, we can
still be together,

I will not tell
anyone about this.

- Now, Jean, how could
I possibly date a man

with one leg and
one arm (scoffs)?

That would mean I'd have to do
all the chores, is that fair?

- You f-f-fucking
Americans are, are crazy!

People know where I am,
you will be arrested!

- Now, Jean, we know
how you came to us,

you told us, remember?

And we have a house rule,

no vulgarity or you
will be punished.

Just ask your fellow patients.

- Fellow patients?

- [Nicole] Mm-hmm.

- You mean there are others?

- Of course, how else do
you think we're gonna eat?

- Uh, eat, eat what?

- You, of course.

Ladies, I'd like for
you to meet Jean.

He's francais,
(laughs mockingly).

- Oh, good, Gene is sleeping.

- I gave him a good
dose of morphine

to get him through the night,

and Mom, it's pronounced
Jean, not Gene.

- Well, that's very thoughtful,

and I'm glad your French
lessons have paid off!

But this is America,
and his name is Gene.

Priscilla,

Gene!

Mindy, are you in any pain?

- Rachel, please let us go!

Isn't it bad enough
we have to live

with one leg and one hand?

Y-you guys probably
have enough money

to disappear and
never be seen again!

- Ah, Mindy, I agree with ya.

We do have enough money,

but we like living
here in the States.

Going on the lam would mean I'd
have to give up my practice,

and if I did that, a
lot of people could die

without my surgical
expertise, or even worse,

they could be invalids, right?

- You can't be serious!

You farm our body
parts and eat us!

How could you be saving lives?

- Oh, baby,

we have to agree to disagree.

We have different
points of view!

- And we're not killing people
for the sake of killing,

we need nourishment
just like you do,

except we don't go
to the grocery store

where everything
is neatly packaged.

- Exactly.

- What the hell does that mean?

- It means we hunt
and live off the land.

We prepare our food naturally.

We don't buy chicken or steak

that comes in a package
(mimics retching).

You civilized
people seem to think

that because you didn't
see the meat get killed,

that it's OK.

Well, we do our own
work for survival,

and we don't waste any parts
like slaughterhouses do.

- I can't believe what
I'm hearing right now.

You actually believe this is OK?

- A lot of tribes
use all the parts

of an animal to avoid waste.

We do the same thing, but
we're also saving lives

by selling your parts.

- What about us?

- Are you serious?

You're making us out
to be the bad people

when you all came to our house

with your own personal agendas.

You think you can just
intrude on people's privacy

whenever you feel like it
without any consequences?

- Yeah, you all saw the
sign, "No solicitors,"

but you chose to
ignore the warning.

And what part of "No solicitors"
didn't you understand?

So don't blame us for your death
by solicitation (chuckles).

Hey, babe, I'll see ya upstairs.

- OK, mwah!
- Mwah!

- And if you think about
it, you're one person.

With your parts, we
can save many lives.

Therefore, your life
in exchange for several

seems reasonable, and we get
to eat while in the process.

- You are all just murderers,
no matter how you justify it.

(dramatic orchestral music)

Why don't you just
kill us (snivels)!

Let us be in peace!

- Your organs will spoil
faster than we could sell them.

- Kids, I think
we're upsetting them.

Please top off their meds,

and meet your father and
I upstairs for cocktails.

- OK.
- OK?

(patients sobbing over quietly
menacing electronic music)

- 'Night, Mindy.

- Oh, isn't that sweet!

Why don't you go join
Mom and Dad upstairs,

I'll finish up here.

- Thanks.
- Welcome.

- See you upstairs.

- Yep.

(tense and quietly
menacing electronic music)

(Nicole speaking in
foreign language)

(uneasy piano over
dreamy electronic music)

Mm, (laughs) sorry, I mean,

you are going to taste
delicious, my sweet darling.

Sleep well (kissing).

(tense and quietly
menacing electronic music)

(crickets chirping)

(glass shattering)

(dramatic piano and orchestral
music over throbbing rhythm)

(drawers rattling)

(burglar gasps)

(tableware rattling)

- Oh, hello, what
do we have here?

(purse rustling)

Yeah, baby, that's
what I'm talkin' about!

What else we got in here?

(purse rustling)

Phone,

(purse rustling)

charming!

Hmm.

(dramatic piano over
tense orchestral music)

(sniffs) Smells OK.

Probably some exotic
meat for the rick folk.

(spits) Damn, whatever
that shit is, it's nasty!

Fucking rich white people, why
can't they just eat bologna?

(door handle rattling)

You have got to be kidding me!

(rhythmic and tense
electronic music)

(latch rattling)

(handle snaps)

Piece a cake!

(rhythmic and tense
electronic music)

(door creaking)

(increasingly tense and
ominous electronic music)

What the fuck?
(flashlight thwacks to floor)

(rhythmic and tense
electronic music)

- Please don't be scared!
(bag rattles on floor)

We're being held prisoner, can
you help us get outta here?

- Damn, bitch, what's
up with this shit?

- We don't have a lot
of time to explain,

but the short version is

they're, they're
selling our body parts!

- Who are you?

- I'm Santa Claus!

I don't know what's
going on here,

but all I came here for
was to rob these people!

- These people are animals!

They're selling our body
parts and eating us!

- Say what?

- They're cannibals.

- Are you fucking with me?

- No, I swear to God!

- Then the meat I
started to eat was--

- Probably one of us.

- Man, that's some
fucked up shit!

- Listen, please help
us get out of here!

I'll explain everything
to you and the cops.

- Look lady, I'm a burglar.

I can't get involved
with this shit!

And in your condition, you'll
probably just slow me down

and get me caught!

- You can't just leave us here!

- Tell you what,
I'm gonna leave,

and when I get to a public
phone, I'll call the cops.

They can work all this shit out.

- Behind you!
(menacing electronic music)

(women grunting over
tense electronic music)

(strike thudding)

(Nicole groans)

- [Burglar] Oh, shit!

(Nicole gasping)

- What the fuck are
you all looking at?

(groans) God, Jesus Christ!

(unsettling electronic music)

(crickets chirping over dramatic
piano and ambient music)

(keyboard clacking)

(phone ringing)

- Swarez.

- Hello, I want to report a
burglar in my neighborhood.

- [Ralph] All right, what's
your location, please?

- (scoffs) Well, I'm at
Dr. Cutterman's house

on Valley Road, I
just saw a stranger

running from the
side of his house.

- And what's your name, please?

- This is Mrs. Rogers.

- Oh, yes, Mrs. Rogers.

Well, thank you very
much for calling it in.

We'll be sure to send someone
by as quickly as we can.

All right, good night.

- [Mrs. Rogers] I
just can't believe--

(phone slams on cradle)

- Mrs. Rogers, a.k.a. the
neighborhood busybody?

- The one and the same.

No need to send anyone
by, the woman's a nutcase.

- Thank God, she's
a piece of work!

And besides that, we
don't have the resources

to go chasing ghosts!

- I spoke with your
cousin this morning.

He'll be joining us
for dinner tonight.

- OK, cool.

Dad, Mom (sighs),

are we gonna be OK with
what happened last night?

- Well, Nicole, I
certainly hope so!

Don't feel too badly,
we'll figure out something.

Scott, you know how
your cousin loves

our ribs with barbecue sauce,

could you please cut some
up for dinner tonight?

- Sure, Mom, we have
plenty in the freezer.

- OK, you babies have
a great day today.

Mwah, behave, get it all
done, OK, sweet girl?

Mwah, I love you, sweetie.

- [Nicole] I love you, too.

- I'll run down to the freezer
and get the ribs ready.

- OK, I'll check on the liquor

and make sure we have enough
single malt and wine for Cuz.

- Perfect, off we go.

- Apre vous.

(plate rattling on counter)

- Every time, Nicole, God!

(tense and ominous
electronic music)

(swell of menacing
electronic music)

This is gonna be a feast
from our friend Kate.

(cleaver thwacking)

(ominous electronic music)

(oven beeps)

- How's that, Mom?

- Excellent, Nicole,
I'm so proud of you!

- Thanks.

- A toast, to our new
cook in the family!

Thank you, darling.

Thank you.
- Cheers!

- Oh, sweetheart.
(glassing clinking)

- Let's hope you
have the same flair

for seasoning that Mom has.

- [Rachel] Mm-hmm.
- I think she does, Scott.

- I was watching, and she used

the exact same
ingredients as your mom,

so I suspect it'll be
mouth-watering delicious!

- Thank you, Daddy.

(lips smacking)

- Love you, baby.

- I love you.
(punch thudding)

- Ow, what was that for?

- For not supporting me, dude.

Hear me roar!

(Scott laughs mockingly
over group chuckling)

- Oh.

(doorbell rings)

- Ooh!

- Who could that be?

- Our cousin, you dork!

Take that, Mom.

- [Scott] Duh, jeez,
maybe the seasoning

ruined your sense
of humor, Nicole!

- Duh, maybe the seasoning
ruined your sense of humor!

Shall we get it?

- After you, lioness, psych!

- Wow, you're lucky
I am in heels!

- Dr. Cutterman, your
children are naughty.

- Ah, they are fantastic!

(Rachel scoffs)

(door rattling)

(tense and ominous
electronic music)

(Ralph sighs)

(door slams shut)

(latch rattling)

(tense and ominous
electronic music)

(swell of tense strings)

(dramatic piano over
ominous electronic music)

- You lose somethin'?

- Cuz, (laughs) you found
my earring (shrieks)!

Thank you, mwah!
(Ralph chuckling)

- [Ralph] You're welcome.
(Nicole giggling)

- [Scott] Good to see ya, Ralph.

- You, too, buddy.
(Nicole laughs)

- Now you, young
lady, got lucky.

With all the attention
on the kidnapping

of the mayor's niece,
it was possible

for me to get this out of
evidence without being seen.

- I'm sorry.

- It's arright.

Now, how are my two
favorite cousins, huh?

- [Both] Good.

- Yeah, well, what
smells so damn good?

- [Nicole] I cooked dinner.

- Really?

- [Nicole] Mm-hmm.

- [Scott] Do you
still wanna stay?

- (chuckles) Well, now that
depends, what are we having?

- As if you don't know, ribs!

- Well, how could I say no, huh?

How 'bout a drink first?

- [Nicole] Yes!
- Sounds good.

(Ralph chuckles)

- [Ralph] Ah, thank you, Nicole.

- You're welcome, Cuz.

- So, about the burglar.

- [Ralph] Mm-hmm.

- Would you be able to find out

if there's any need for concern?

- I brought a kit, I'm
gonna dust for prints,

take 'em down to the
station in the morning.

I'll run 'em, see
if she works alone

or if she's part of a crew.

- Ah, thanks, Ralph.

- No problem.
(timer buzzing)

Hey, that sounds
like dinner time!

- Here we go.

- [Ralph] All right.

(phone buzzing over
fax machine whirring)

- [Lewis] Hello?

- Lewis, hey, it's Ralph.

- [Lewis] What'd you find out?

- There's no cause for concern.

She's a small-time junkie nobody

with a laundry list of priors.

Mostly, uh, first-
and second-story jobs.

This isn't the kind of scumbag
who's gonna come forward,

and if she does, well,
it'll land on my desk,

and then we can just, uh, make
sure it goes away for good.

- [Lewis] That's a relief.

- Yes, it is.

Listen, please tell,
uh, Rachel thank you

for dinner last night,
it was very, very tasty.

- [Lewis] Ah, she'll
appreciate that.

How's the search been going
for the mayor's niece?

- We, uh,

we have a suspect in custody,
and looks like we got our man.

Oh, by the way, before
I forget to tell you,

the captain ordered me to send

all of my missing person's
down to cold case files,

so that should take
care of any other

little problems there might be.

Listen, I gotta run,

it's great catchin'
up with you, though.

We'll talk soon, arright, ciao.

- How was family dinner?

- Good.

- What'd you have?

- Ribs (sighs).

- (scoffs) You're
one lucky bastard

having loving family
members around,

especially ones who can cook!

You'll have to have me
over for dinner sometime.

- I'll see what I can arrange.

(pleasant easy listening music)

- Kids, your father and I
have an announcement to make.

- Don't tell us you're pregnant!

- Now, where did that come from?

- I don't know, you're adults
and you do adult things.

(Rachel sighs)

- [Scott] Nicole,
you have issues.

- What?

- So what's the news?

- Well, your father
and I have decided

it's time to move.

- (gasps) I call dibs on
the first choice of rooms!

- No way, you got it last time!

- (sighs) That's right,

but if a bedroom has
its own bathroom,

I'm sure you're gonna
be a good brother

and let me have it, right?

- Now that is up for
some careful negotiating.

- Oh, God, I know
what that means!

I'm gonna be doing
your chores forever.

- And then some.
(Nicole mimics retching)

- So to prepare, Scott,
you will sterilize

the cutting room
and the freezer.

You have to make sure
there are no traces

that can be
detected, you got me?

- Got it covered, Dad.

- [Rachel] And I'll call
my brother's moving company

and make sure they do
all the heavy lifting.

- [Nicole] What about
all the sellables?

- [Lewis] Well, we won't
take any more business,

and our current inventory,
we shall delete,

and when we move,
we'll start again.

- Back in business.

(dramatic orchestral music)

- Lunch is served.

(door rattling)

(woman sobbing over
ominous electronic music)

- Why, why are you
doing this (sobs)?

Please, let me go, I won't
say a word, I promise!

(sobs) I won't, I
won't say a word!

(sobs) Please, let me go!

(woman sobbing over tense and
menacing orchestral music)

Why are you doing this?

(swell of tense and
menacing orchestral music)

You sick fuck!

(Ralph grunting over
jarring percussion accent)

- You, my dear, are
going to taste delicious!

(woman screams over tense and
menacing electronic music)

(jarring percussion accent)

(pleasant easy listening music)

- Oh, by the way,
Mom needs some milk

for coffee in the morning.

Do you wanna walk with
me (playful mumbling).

OK (laughs).

- I found this by the bushes.

Looks like our perk, perp.

(crew laughing)

- [Director] Keep
rolling, keep rolling!

- Oh, is the camera
still on, oh my God!

(crew chuckles)

- [Director] Action!

(crew laughing)

- [Eric] I should go.

(pleasant easy listening
music with breezy flute)

- And secondly, to Scott,

for his brilliant
business acumen.

And to Nicole, for your,

for your,
(crew muttering and laughing)

Nicole!

- I feel like chopped liver!

- Don't take it
personally, Nicole!

- Wah!

- Wait, wait, no,
wait, for your, uh,

for your first successful
surgery, I'm so sorry.

- [Director] For her!

- Her.

- Do you happen to have
the, duh, the, them.

- [Onlooker] The,
them, them, the--

- [Clerk] Leave an address?

- That would be
helpful, yeah, thanks.

- [Clerk] Lemme check.

(crew laughing)

- It wasn't me (cackles).

- [Slate Man] Take
one, shot six.

(slate clacking over
muffled chatter)

- Oh my God, you
saved the movie!

- [Director] Action!

- [Rachel] Rachel, Gene.

- Whoa, whoa, Rachel?

You're Rachel (laughs).
(Beverly laughs)

- What is, what is your name?

- Her name's Rachel (laughs).

- And you're Priscilla.

- I'm Priscilla,
people, Priscilla!

- Could you please cut some up

for binner, for dinner tonight?

- [Scott] Sure, Mom.

Sure, Mom, we have
plenty in the freezer.

- Perfect, please do it
soon so the meat has time

to defrost and get to
room tick, temperature.

- [Scott] Sure, Mom, we
have plenty in the freezer.

- Perfect, please do it
soon, so the meat has time

to get to, to de, sorry,
say it again for me.

(muffled laughter)

(rhythmic and ominous
electronic music)

(dramatic and ominous
orchestral music)

(expressive flute over flowing
piano and orchestration)

(dramatic piano over
ominous orchestral music)

(swell of tense
electronic music)

- (mimics playful trumpet)
And that's all, folks.