Never Happened (2015) - full transcript

Can you pop the trunk?

Thank you.

Hey babe.

Welcome back. Sorry my hands are all dishy.

You miss me?

Tons.

Flight okay?

Yeah, I mean, whatever. I didn't crash.

Didn't have my phone the whole time.

Mmmm... door kiss.

And the trip, how'd it go?



Actually pretty well.

Okay, do you remember that I said don't check the bag because we're here for one night.

Yep.

Yeah?

Oh shit...

What? What's up?

What's a Kernel panic?

I... something bad?

It's not...

Uhhh... It's not booting!

We're gonna have to run the presentation off of yours.

I didn't bring my laptop!

MmmMmm

No, no, you're kidding.



No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I downloaded the presentation on my phone so I can practice at home.

Here, here it is.

You got it. You got it.

Dude.

Look at you just saving the day.

Yeah... ya' know... I don't like to use the word hero, but...

So you guys didn't go out and celebrate or anything?

No, we just took it easy. Hit the hay pretty early.

Is it just me, or did that actually go really well today?

Don't jinx it.

Mmm?

But I think they liked it.

I think.

Think...

Yeah.

Mmm

Shhh...

You have to be quiet.

I... I am quiet. Very quiet.

This you?

This is me.

I can't... I can't open the door.

Did... would you like me to...?

I would like you to do it.

Oh... well I think it's uhh... I think you gotta...

Okay.

Thank you...

You're welcome.

... so much for saving my ass.

No.

No?

Nah.

No?

Right on the seven o'clock tomorrow?

No...

I'm going to Chicago.

Ah.

Okay. Well... then... I...

will see you on Thursday.

Yep.

Yep.

Okay.

Okay what?

Nothing. Just "Okay." That was my goodnight okay.

You're out.

Oh no...

Please...

Oh...

Oh...

More...

Do it...

Oh, that feels so weird!

Uh...

I'm gonna cum!

Fuck me!

Fuck me!

Ahhh!

Oh my god!

Fuck!

It was kind of nice to see Laura's human side after all that time together on the road this year.

Aww, I knew that you two just got off on the wrong foot.

That probably wasn't a good idea.

Your wife...?

Sure.

She seemed nice.

That one time that I met her.

Yeah, yeah she is.

I think David's gonna propose.

And honestly, I'm just gonna...

I'm gonna say yes.

That's great. Congratulations. I mean if he does, that's great.

Thanks.

So do you want to forget about this?

I mean like we were celebrating...

Yeah.

And it was fun.

Totally. And, ya' know... but it's gonna complicate things.

Yeah.

Its best if it never happened. No offense.

Ohhh, mmm.

Okay, clothes on.

Okay.

Same as before.

Right, so that means we gotta go by the door.

Okay.

Come here.

Ah.

Thank you.

Good?

Okay, I'm good.

It's not connecting.

Uhh...

Oh.

I forgot.

Oh, earring.

Yeah sometimes it messes with the bluetooth connection.

Okay.

Okay.

Yep?

Should I set it to one hour...?

Oh, right. Uh... yeah. Let's do that.

Okay. Ready?

Mmmhmm.

K.

Okay.

Ready?

Yep.

Umm...

So are you on the seven o'clock tomorrow?

No. I'm going to Chicago.

Ah.

Okay, well, I will see you Thursday.

Yep.

Great.

Good Night!

Well it's good to have you back, even if you were only gone for one night.

You know, if I didn't know any better I'd think you were fooling around on me.

Uh yeah. As if I can keep a secret like that for a second.

Let me see this?

Is it itchy?

Ahhhh!

Okay...

The dry air on these airplanes...

It's terrible for your skin.

I swear every time you come back from all those trips you have the same rash.

Where's my other earring?