NY84 (2016) - full transcript

I don't know
where it came from but...

Full songs just started...
coming in my mind,

I'm not sure
where they came from exactly.

I'm sure part of it
was the chaos

of everything around me...

but...

Before I met Anton, I actually
never considered myself...

to be an artist,

I never... had a label for it,

I didn't think about it...

It's weird,
from the moment I met Anton



I felt so connected to him.

There was something
behind his eyes.

I knew that him and I would be
connected for a very long time.

When I first met Kate,
I didn't know who I was.

She pushed me silently,
I pushed her vocally.

From the moment our eyes met,

it was like looking at myself
in the mirror.

I saw in her
what I didn't see in myself.

And I think she saw the same...

When Keith entered our life...

He completed us.

She's kind of
like a tree,

and Anton and I
are like the fruit.

And we grow together.



Hopefully, we'll fall
and make our own trees.

The three of us together,
for me that was...

the most amazing...

part of my life.

He's waiting, he is...

To steal you down...
until your body, it comes.

And the day grows faster...

but you can't put out
the never...

I awoke to the raven.

Well, if you want to know,

your mother's quite busy
these days,

she's still involved
with the church and planning

your grandmother's
retirement party.

I hope you will come.

So, what have you been doing?

We haven't heard much
from you lately.

Been working on my music,
and my poetry...

Your poetry?

And what does that pay?

Are you listening?

It is time for you to get a job.

Look at the people you run with.

All these musicians, freaks,
weirdos, faggots!

I'm gay too.

I like boys and girls.

Your mother would die
if she heard that.

You're sick.

Are you on drugs?

Tell me the truth. Are you?

You're making poor
and dangerous choices

you will regret
for the rest of your life.

If that's what you want to do,
don't bother coming home.

Don't call me.

Don't call your mother.

We don't want to know.

The Center for
Disease Control has uncovered

disturbing new evidence
of the epidemic's reach.

Formerly known as Gay Related
Immune Deficiency or GRID...

AIDS weakens the immune system,

leaving its victims open
to common infections

like tuberculosis, pneumonia
as well as rare forms of cancer.

At risk groups include

homosexuals, hemophiliacs,
and intravenous drug users.

Health care is a right.

Medicine is a right.
Dignity is a right.

At this point,
we have had 1.6 billion dollars

allocated for AIDS education
and AIDS research.

We have been asking
for more money

for residential care of
the two million Americans

that are HIV positive.

At this point
that has not occurred...

As a NYPD Narcotic's detective

I'm out on the streets
every day.

I can't really get too close,

because I don't want to get
their saliva.

I just tell them
to go against the wall.

"Spread your arms,
spread your legs..."

But I have two daughters

and I can't have them go
to the park anymore.

There are syringes,
there are drug dealers,

there are homeless people here.

And you know I heard
that people can catch AIDS

by sneezing on other people.

They say it's transmitted
through like saliva,

and blood and sweat.

I can't take that chance
with my kids.

The virus has been causing

widespread panic across
the U.S.,

where over 4,000 people
have been infected

since the discovery
of the disease in 1981.

Almost half have died.

This is an epidemic.

How many more need to die before
you do something about it, huh?

It could be your brothers,
your sisters, your aunts,

your uncles, your fathers,
your mothers, your sons,

your daughters.

It will be them next.
Do something, make it happen.

Make a change,
make a difference.

All right? You're OK?

The virus
is completely unprecedented.

It compromises the immune system
of the patient

and opens them up to

a wide range of complications.

It's not easy to describe

because the medical community
has a lot to learn from it.

We have more questions
than answers at this stage.

Since no one knows how
the virus is transmitted,

we can't tell you
how not to catch it.

You just can't stay away
from this or that.

We just need to keep researching
and make sure

that our patients receive
appropriate care.

That's all we can do for now.

- Doctor, you're needed in...
- I got it, thank you.

I started volunteering when
my brother told me he got it,

unfortunately so...
There's not much we can do.

Basically, we help
the patient to die.

We try our best
to make them comfortable.

There's been a lot of people
coming through the door lately,

but we really don't have
a place for them.

We only have so many beds
in this hospital, and...

I'm sorry,
I have to get back to work.

"Dark and wrinkled,
like a purple pink.

It breathes, nestling humbly
amongst the still-damp.

Froth of love,
follow the gentle slope

of the white buttocks all
the way to the crater's edge.

Filaments like tears
of milk have wept

for the cruel wind,
which pushes them back,

across the little clots
of reddish marl

they lose themselves

in the same slope
that called them.

My dreams have kissed
its opening.

My soul,
jealous of physical coitus,

has made it
its fawn-coloured tear-bottle

and nest of sobs.

It is the rapturous olive
and the wheedling flute,

The tube from which
the heavenly burnt almond falls:

Feminine Canaan enclosed
among moistures."

Hey!

How are you today?

I'm OK.

The nurses want more blood
from me.

They're like vampires.

Do you want me to go
get somebody?

No, no, it's OK.
I'm used to waiting.

Are they always this slow here?

Well they don't have
enough staff

for all the patients, so...

We wait.

- Who's that?
- It's Jim.

Is he nice?

Yeah. He seems nice.

He's worse off than me,

that's all I really know
about him.

It's so ugly here.

I wish I could paint the walls
for you or something.

Yeah, more colours.

We should graffiti them.

You should...

Oh I brought you some something.

Colours.

- Sorry.
- It's OK.

Do you remember that?

Yeah!

Shit!

You know what the Jews say:

"Why does shit
always happen to us?"

So you're Jewish now?

And the Catholics say,

"If shit happens,
then we deserve it."

You're not Catholic either.

And the Buddhists say,

"If shit happens, then
it really isn't shit anymore."

So you're a Buddhist then?

No. They feel great.

I feel like shit, Kate.

I know.

I'm sorry.

How is everyone?

How's Tony?

I don't know.
I haven't seen him.

What about John?

I'm not sure.

What about Damian?

I saw Damian.

Like a couple weeks ago.

He good?

Yeah, he's OK.

Good.

I missed you.

I missed you too.

I miss Anton too.

Where is he?

I don't know,

I think he's just working
all the time now.

I should be working.

Yeah... well...

I have to go,

but I'm gonna come back
in a couple of days, OK?

OK.

- I love you.
- I love you too.

Okay.

I'll see you soon.

Several cases of the disorder

have appeared in straight,

otherwise healthy, hemophiliacs

that receive
regular blood transfusions.

As a result,
health officials are sending out

a national alert
to doctors and patients.

Blood banks and hospitals
may be using infected blood.

They don't know
what they're talkin' about.

If you're doing undercover work

and you're gonna wear gloves
and a mask...

You never know... A junkie
can come from behind you,

he can hit you...

If you've ever been in a fight,
you know how he goes.

He punches you in the face,
he cuts his hands,

he cuts your face,

you've got blood on blood
and you're fucked.

It starts out
as a small purple lesion,

similar to a bruise
or an insect bite.

Then it becomes a sarcoma
on the skin

or you get pneumonia.

Then it becomes more aggressive.

Lesions appear everywhere
on the body

and inside the mouth.

Well... Here I am,

back in the Hospital again.

Another day,

another ward.

It's February and it's cold.

And I'm wondering
Am I gonna see another winter?

They say I got AIDS
from a blood transfusion.

From a hemophilia.

And the nurse,

she says I still have
some options left

to try
and beat this thing but...

I don't believe her.

I just wait.

I sleep when I can
but it's never... really great.

You know it reminds me
of my old dog before he died.

It took months...

- Harold!
- Ma chérie!

Delightful to see!
How was Berlin?

Berlin was kicky!
Loved it! Loved it!

Welcome back!

Did you finally
get a chance to see David?

There is life on Mars.

Ah! He's fabulous, isn't he?

Thank you so much for coming.

Sweetheart.

You're the most beautiful girl
in the room,

you gotta better be careful.

I might attack you.

I would hope so,

I wouldn't miss
your party for the world.

It wouldn't be
a party without you.

Françoise!

I'm so glad cause
I was so worried.

I hope he gets out alive,
because that man...

Do you model as well?

Make sure we get
some pictures of him.

Yeah...

Francisco?

Francisco? Yes?

This is Anton Simon.

He's a photographer.

Anton.
It's lovely to meet you.

Kate and Keith.

Ah, friends of Anton.

Models too.

Hello...

You're having fun?
It's good to see you.

He's having a pretty good time.

Any friend of Anton's
is a friend of mine.

Pleasure meeting you,
I hope that...

I understand
you're very talented.

Thank you.

Perfect.

Give me your head
to your knees, please.

Beautiful!

Stay just like that.

You would look up
towards the light...

...Because they are unsigned,

I can't sell you
a piece of work

that isn't signed
by the artist.

I understand that you're upset
but it is out of my control.

Yes, the London Gallery called

but it doesn't make
a difference.

OK, what I'm gonna do,

is after I get off
the phone with you,

I'm gonna call
the artist again.

But honestly he's been extremely
difficult to get a hold of.

OK, thank you for your patience.

Have a good one.

So, basically, we have the buyer
but we can't sell the piece.

Because it isn't signed
by the artist.

It's becoming
a really big problem

because his work
is really hot right now.

If you still can't find him
I suggest asking Harold Sherer.

He might know.

Harold's an art collector.

He mentored Simon.

He schooled him in art history.

He could speak about his work.

He might know where he is.

But I can show you
some of his collection.

Like this one.

Doesn't it never remind you

of the Renaissance sculptures
of Michelangelo?

Or this one.

Look at the skin.

See the texture?

It's beautiful.

Yes, the portfolio's
from the artist.

And he sent them
to New York, already...

And he will be sending them
to London

and to Paris next week.

Yes, that is correct.

OK, thank you very much
for calling, goodbye.

I'm ready.

Well, I could see right away
he was uniquely talented but...

Anybody could.

I don't want to get him
into any trouble but...

we had a lot of fun.

He was very entertaining, and...

there was something magnificent
about him.

So we hit it off, and...

I introduced him
to a few people.

And he was on his way.

I could tell from his work

he was probably
on to something pretty big.

He was pretty unpolished
when we met,

in fact he was really living
like a homeless person.

I haven't seen him for a while.

It'd be nice to see him, again.

Well...

I love Anton...

I miss him.

Could you take care of this?

Hello?

Yes.

Yes, yes one moment please.

It's the airlines.
They're calling again.

Tell them I'll call them back.

Yes, hello? Yes, I'm sorry...

I probably shouldn't
tell you this, but...

I'm trying to arrange
a flight to Paris

to the Pasteur Institute

for myself
and for some friends, and...

We're running into
some difficulties

because the airlines don't like

to fly people
with infections.

So I may have
to charter a private 737.

I always loved
Paris in the Winter.

OK?

He's always...

like to follow
the dark side, really.

I have to say
he's worshipped excess.

But I'll...

I'll let Anton know,

you're trying to get
in touch with him.

Can I get an ash tray?
Please.

Are we OK like this?

You never know
why a still image is happening.

It's like magic.

A moment is frozen
in time forever,

and it'll stay that way
long after you die...

Is someone coming
into the door?

We're trying
to do an interview here.

I suppose you want
to speak about

the "homoeroticism"
of my work?

It's a driving force...

An inspiration...

But the "official" gay community

doesn't have much use
for my work.

They find it... too extreme.

"Why would you represent this?"

They asked, and...

I'm only carrying
on classical traditions

depicting both
the beautiful and...

destructive sides
of human nature.

It's like...

"The Massacre
of Saint Sebastian."

I remember when I first
started taking photographs.

I had no idea
it would lead me to any...

particular aesthetic vision,
or...

creative process.

I just snapped these photos
of my friends, and it became...

I miss the time when
I had no vision,

no self-consciousness,

when innocence
was a part of the process.

Because... for me,

without innocence,

there is no experience.

"The moon,
who is caprice itself,

looked through the window

while you were sleeping
in your cradle,

and said to herself:
'That child pleases me.'

And softly she descended
her staircase of clouds

and noiselessly passed
through the Windows-panes.

It was while contemplating
this visitor

that your eyes became
so bizarrely large,

and your cheeks
extraordinarily pale.

And ever so gently
she clasped your neck

and you have forever retained
the desire to weep..."

However,
in the expansion of her joy,

the Moon filled the room
like a phosphorescent vapour,

like a luminous poison;

and all the living light
thought and said:

'You shall suffer for ever
the influence of my kiss.

You shall be beautiful
in my fashion.

You shall love that which I love
and that which loves me..."

I'm investigating
new treatments...

The Pasteur Institute,

we have a vaccine
that's ready in two years,

maybe sooner for
experimental cases like mine.

At this point
I will take just about anything.

Reminds me of all the drugs
I used to take at the club.

Without the fun of course.

I feel like a monkey in a lab...

Waiting for my next injection.

There you are!

Ah!

They sent me
to the wrong room at first.

- How are you today?
- Better.

Feel good? You look good.

I have been so busy lately.

Yesterday, after work,
I had to stop and get groceries

and who do you think I met?

Remember Mary?
Our old neighbor.

Oh my god, what a gossip!

She was telling me
all about everybody's business

like I really cared.

She must have had my ear
for maybe an hour!

Then I had to go home

and tidy up the house
a little bit before I left.

And I just got here
late last night.

And here I am.

Are they still
giving you medicine in this IV?

Yeah.

Hope it's going out.

So how's the food here?

Is it like mine?

Not as good.

Um... I do have to tell you,

I stopped at church
on the way,

and I said a prayer for you.

Honey, you are gonna beat
this pneumonia.

I know it.

OK? You're gonna beat it.

Oh, your dad says hello.

Yeah. He's on a business trip
as usual.

Hey, how do you like
my new shirt?

You like the colour?

I like it.

Then my sister called

and she was telling me
that new dog they got,

it's still not housebroken.

Could you believe that?

How do they put up with it?

Right? That's why
I never got you a dog.

I'm sorry.

But cats are easier,
don't you think?

I love cats.

Yeah. Me too.

This place isn't so bad.

Could use a coat of paint,
right?

Oh honey, I'm gonna have
to be going home tomorrow.

Okay.

I couldn't get anyone
to water my plants

and I'm afraid
they're gonna die.

This winter's been really bad...

Yes, the signing is today.

Yes, we do have a few left.
One moment...

Yeah, he's here right now.

OK, great.

Yes, one moment...

Yes, it's here.

It's 16 by 24...

Hello?

Yes, we're hoping
to be at the armory.

Can you possibly call back
on Monday?

Yes, we're hoping to go
to the armory

Honestly, if could call back
on Monday,

I can give you a better answer.

Cause he's actually in here
right now. He's here today.

Portfolio of five.

Great, one moment!

If you can call back on Monday
that actually would be easier.

He's actually here right now
doing a signing.

Do you wanna to go for a walk?

Hello?

Yeah, actually he just left.

Yes, one moment.

There's something
I never told you.

Yeah?

The first time I saw you
wasn't in that bookshop.

Really?

I found a picture of you
in a trash can on St. Mark's.

I knew I was gonna
see you again.

I'm glad you did.

In ten years,

if we're both still single,

we should have a baby.

If you could
just wait here for a minute?

I'm gonna check him, OK?

Uh...

If you could just give us
about... five minutes?

That'll be OK?

Ah!

This is a photo
I wanted to show you before.

No one would ever imagine...

he would shoot a woman.

But he did,

in a good way...

She used to come to...

my parties
with some other friends.

Sorry,
he's getting really tired.

I'm not tired...

I'm angry.

I...

I know why... you're here.

You probably heard...

one of my boyfriends
is suing me.

He will get a million dollars...

for "emotional distress"...

because I might have exposed
him to AIDS.

Bullshit!

He tested negative!

He used to be
the life of the party...

And he had so many friends...

from all walks of life.

And, and I felt like...

the luckiest person
in the whole world...

to be in a place like that...

and to be with someone like him,

someone who...

cared so much
about people and art

and so much about his craft.

He's getting sicker every day.

And, he can barely move
a muscle in his body, so...

I'm the only one here.

There's no one else coming.

Um... I think
we should let him rest.

So, if you guys don't mind...
I'll just show you out.

He's playing the music.

Hate the fear

I'm so lonely

Against the wall

Lost in the night

Now so clear

Dead ends on fire

I gotta breathe into fight

Screaming and shaking
I'm a gunned down believer

But I'm still ready for war

I stand back,
watch the world burn

Ashes and blood of the whore

Do you remember the high

The down, the low
that took us to the outside?

But now the Angel I see

Will take away from you
and me the heaven

So here I come
with my one last trick

No one sees me in your eyes

I'm just a theft
and you heart will be broken

Rise from the fruits of my lies

Do you remember the high

The down, the low
that took us to the outside?

But now the Angel I see

Will take away from you
and me the heaven

But no I won't, I won't
I won't, I won't believe them

Oh no I don't, I don't
I don't, I don't believe them

Stay alive darling

I don't wanna see you die

I'm on your side honey

No, no, no, we'll be together

I will see you

I will see you

I will see you

A-ya-a-ya-a-ya-a-ya

I will see you

I will see you

I will see you

A-ya-a-ya-a-ya-a-ya

We use to smile,
use to love this town

Good men, my friends

This running poison
will kill you down,

but I know it's not the end

Do you remember the high

The down, the low that took us
to the outside?

But now the Angel I see

Will take away from you
and me the heaven

But no I won't, I won't
I won't, I won't believe them

Oh no I don't, I don't
I don't, I don't believe them

But no I won't, I won't
I won't, I won't believe them

Oh no I don't, I don't
I don't, I don't believe them

Stay alive

Stay alive darling

I don't wanna see you die

I'm on your side

Oh no, no, we'll be together

I will see you

I will see you

I will see you

What happened to your friend?

You're OK like this?

Never been better.

Those drugs are pretty strong.

You know Darwin says:

"We all came up from shit."

"And we'll all go back to it."

It's in the Bible.

I'm ready, Kate.

Ready for what?

I know where I'm going.

You're not going anywhere.

You just to rest.
I brought you something.

It's a gift
from Anton and myself.

Oh God...
He looks like a shit too!

"Always"...?

I'll always be there...

Give me a kiss?

Um... I'm gonna go,
I'll see you soon, OK?

No.

Just say...
Just say goodbye, now.

You're gonna be OK.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

"Thy soul shall
find itself alone

Mid dark thoughts
of the gray tombstone

Not one,
of all the crowd, to pry

Into thine hour of secrecy."

"Be silent in that solitude,

Which is not loneliness..."

"...for then,
the spirits of the dead

who stood In life before thee

are again in death
around thee..."

"...and their will shall
overshadow thee, be still."

"...The night,
though clear, shall frown,

and the stars
shall not look down

from their high thrones
in the Heaven..."

"...With light
like hope to mortals given,

But their red orbs,

without beam,

To thy weariness shall seem...

"...As a burning

and a fever Which
would cling

to thee forever.

Now are thoughts thou
shalt not banish,

Now are visions
never to vanish;

From thy spirit shall they pass

No more,
like dew-drop from the grass.

The breeze, the breath of God,
is still,

And the mist upon the hill
Shadowy, shadowy,

yet unbroken,

Is a symbol and a token.

How it hangs on the trees,

A mystery of mysteries!"

I awoke to the raven

I do not sleep

I could not

I came dressed in death

You knew it was coming
before I arrived

We're like that, we know

It has to end where it started

You sat in the light

Eyes in the dark

Ready to take it

Ready to surrender

And like that, it has gone

You gave up the ghost
right on time

A language only us three
could speak

Held us back like racing dogs

So I ran to the church

With no prayers in mind,
I shook

In the basement, I shook

In the ground, I shook

We did it though

There is nothing to fear
but fear itself

And that no longer exists

For I know my job

It is out of my hands
and it is not my choice

I will pay service
for all those left in tears

All those without flesh

I won't stay silent

For while the machine
is at work

I will fight

You can inhabit
my vessel anytime you like

Take the walk

Take the ride

Goodbye my friend

You are in the ether now

Until I join you

I will stay and fight stronger

I won't stay silent

I won't stay silent

Before I met Anton,

I actually never
considered myself...

to be an artist, I never...

had a label for it,

I didn't think about it.

Anton was the one
that told me...

I was an artist,
and I should fight for that

and pursue that in everything
that I do...

In 1980, I was never
trying to do anything,

It just...

I don't know,
being around both of them,

Anton and Keith,

I guess brought something
out of me,

but I wasn't sure
what it was exactly.

I would sing to myself
and write little things, but...

It wasn't until years later,
in 84,

when I started losing
everyone around me,

and I kind a felt
like I had nothing...

left to lose anymore, so...

I don't know
where it came from but...

Full songs just started...

coming in my mind,

I'm not sure
where they came from exactly.

I'm sure part
of it was the chaos

and everything around me...
but...

part of me thinks it came
from Keith and Anton,

and it came from a place
I still don't understand.