My Six Loves (1963) - full transcript

"Hey, sweetie, don't miss plane. New York
and I waiting for you with open arms.

Two TV interviews, brunch, three
luncheons, four theater appearences,

two cocktail parties set for tomorrow.

Press reception 4:30 p.m. Plaza Hotel.
Chin up."

Hah! Lucky if I can stand up.

"Love you, Marty."

Oh, brother, he doesn't miss a trick.

- Subtitles -
Lu?s Filipe Bernardes

Alright, fellows, alright,
that's all for now!

Give us a break. I promise you'll get
all the pictures you want a little later on.

Give us a break right now.



- One more!
- Uh-uh!

- One more.
- Miss Courtney, how about one over here?

Thank you!

You'll get all you need.

Miss Courtney, Miss Courtney,

did you enjoy playing Dodie Jones
more on the screen or on the stage?

Well, they're too different a medium,
I loved both.

Miss Courtney, now that you've made your
first picture, how do you feel?

- Well, I'm very happy...
- Honey, look who's here!

- Jan, darling.
- Hello, Nina!

Don't bother us, Harry, you must
give me two minutes alone.

I want to hear everything,
everything... Oooh!

- Oh, Nina!
- Nina, honey...

I, um... You'd better...
What? Yeah...



You better do it, honey...
Hey, how about this kid, huh?

She, uh, finished a movie last night, got on
a plane, got here at 6 o'clock this morning.

Looks fresh as a daisy,
doesn't she, Nina?

Miss Courtney, are you hopeful for
the future of American cinema?

Later, buddy, huh?

He isn't even syndicated.

Let's talk to Bill Carson, come on.

- You get to speak to Janice Courtney.
- Who's Janice Courtney?

Jan, right here...

- Armed Forces Radio, Miss Courtney.
- Congratulations.

- Hello, Billy.
- How is it going, Marty?

Every time I produce a show for this kid
she tops herself, you know?

In fact, when we scheduled for
the fall right now,

the backers are begging out for me.

What kind of a show are you
looking for?

Armed Forces Radio, Miss Courtney.

What are you, an idiot?
She's choking, come on!

Come on, come on, just give
her a break.

- One more, please.
- Over here, Miss Courtney, please.

- Are you okay, honey?
- I'm fine, Marty.

- What's the matter?
- Nothing, Ethel, I'm all right.

- Are you sure?
- Look, all I want is some food.

So far today I've been to a brunch,
three luncheons,

and two cocktail parties. I haven't had
a bite to eat yet.

Come on, pals, let's give her a break.
Now, you...

Now, honey, you take it easy,
because you have a long way to go.

Now, at 6:00 you meet the
high school editors.

At 6:45 TV, that's in the
teenage ballroom.

- Armed Forces Radio...
- Yes, good night, fellows.

7:15 you're modeling Dodie Jones
dresses for Modern Fashion,

7:55 there's another cocktail party.

This one is for the motion picture society
right after your speech.

At 11 p.m. you're on Personality
of the Week,

One a.m. is Don Patrol Record Show,
"I Have Your Song".

Tomorrow morning the first thing we do
is to start at 10 a.m.,

Would you hold my sandwich?

Why?

I think I'm going to leave you
for a while.

- What are you...?
- Come on, enough pictures!

- No, no, get a doctor, will you, Ethel?
- I will, I will. Get a...

You gotta give her something,
we got a full schedule with this girl.

Don't make a thing out of nothing, Ben,
now just lay off.

You produce the shows,
I'll be the doctor.

Hey, you two, come over here.

If you're settling my life, at least do it
so I don't have to strain my ears.

It's quite simple, Jan.
Though Martin here pretends not to know,

you've got to get away for a rest.

What do you mean rest? Read him the list,
Ethel, read him the list.

- Um, 6:00 high school editors.
- Correct.

- 6:45, TV.
- That's right.

7:15, Dodie Jones dress...
- I'm afraid you're both mistaken.

This girl is temporarily retiring from
Martin Bliss enterprises.

Now come on, Ben, let's not be
a creep, hang on!

The kid had a little bit of a dizzy spell,
that's all. She's fine now. You're fine now.

Well, let me put it this way.

If our young star doesn't get
six weeks of absolute rest,

I guarantee she'll be flat on her back
for the next three years.

What? I can't hear you.

Three years, Martin.

Ethel, there's a flight for Vegas
at 8:00.

Get Syd, tell him we want the best of
everything, we're all going.

- You too, doctor.
- Martin.

Jan's going to Connecticut.

Connecticut? Connecticut, what's
to do in Connecticut?

Well, there's sleep, plenty of fresh
air and sunshine.

- That'll kill you.
- And above all, absolute quiet.

Anyone taking care of your
house up there?

There'd better be. That Johnson woman
cashes her checks every month.

Oh, Ben, please, that house in the country
was the biggest mistake of my life.

- I hate the country.
- He's right, honey, it'll do you good.

You won't have anything to do but lie around
all day and be waited on hand and foot.

You can have breakfast in bed,
sleep in the sun,

Just relax and have a nice, long rest.

What's a word with X, J and Q in it?

What on earth are you doing?

Even when I play by myself I lose.

I knew you'd be up sooner or later.

Six weeks of this.

What time does the sun come up
in the country?

June 3rd, sunrise 5:22 a.m.

One more hour to go.
This is last year's almanac.

In Connecticut one year is just
like any other.

What was that?

Field mice. They can't sleep either.

Oh, my.

I think I'll redecorate this room.

What would you say if I married
Marty Bliss?

Has he asked you?

No.

Not yet.

But I think he's leading up to it.

Well, if you have to ask, I'd say you
weren't in love with him.

Oh, you're against marriage anyway.

Because of your experience
with that, um...

What was his name, Harvey?

Garvin. And I'm not against marriage,
not at 4 o'clock in the morning.

Ethel, look at my life.

What have I been doing all this time?

I wouldn't say you'd exactly been idle.

No, I've been knocking myself out, but...

What have I got to show for it?

Jan, you have thousands of people who think
you're the most marvelous person alive.

But not one of them is there
when I close my door at night.

Well, now you know.

Oh, Ethel.

You know, marriage and show business,
they just don't mix.

Why should I give up everything I've ever
worked for since I was fourteen...

...just to become a housewife?

Who says you have to give it up?

We know plenty of people who combine
marriage and a career.

Maybe.

But I've come this far alone.

I think it's better that way.

For me.

You're going to get awfully tired of
looking at me day after day.

Never.

Who else always lets me
win at scrabble?

Help me turn the tiles.

She's got her nerve.

Bursting in here in the middle
of the night...

...without telling us!

Oh, I can see what's ahead.

Eating in the kitchen, asking for
permission to use the car.

Oh, I'd best give notice right away.

Don't get yourself in a snit, mama.

Shut up, Ava.

It's a pity too. I've taken
a liking to this place.

- Don't file your nails, dear.
- But Mama!

Shut up, Ava!

Come, help me move the television into
our room before they wake up.

I don't see why we should have to change
our lives just to suit her.

Shut up, Ava.

If there's one thing I can't abide,
it's stale cigarette smoke.

We never had odors like these
before they arrived.

I wonder who that turkey neck was
that she brought with her.

Probably one of those show
business parasites.

Must have picked her up in Hollywood.

Wish somebody would pick me
up in Hollywood.

Shut up, Ava!

Mrs. Johnson, I presume.

I don't believe we've had the pleasure.

I'm "Turkey Neck" Swenson,
Miss Courtney's personal parasite.

What's the matter, got lumps
in your bed, ma'am?

Shut up, Ava.
My daughter.

Why doesn't she blow her nose,
she'd get instant relief.

Good morning, Miss Courtney.

Good morning, Selena.

And good morning, Ava.
Would you fix us some breakfast, Selena?

- Now?
- Now!

Of course, if you say so,
Miss Courtney.

Selena, my television?

This is our own personal television
set, Miss Courtney.

Oh, then where's mine?

That cheap set?

I'd only run it twelve or fourteen hours
a day and then, pfft!

Yes, but where is it?

I traded it in for this one.

It's very important for a budding
young actress like Ava to...

...study fine acting.

On television?

Selena, do you have a dog?

I? Not likely.
Ava's allergic to dogs.

Selena, if you have a menu for dinner
tonight, I'd like to look it over later.

Today is Tuesday.

What's wrong with Tuesday?

Tuesday is Ava's night at elocution.

We'll be dining out.

I see.

Well, how about tomorrow?

Wednesday's my day off.

"As wrong mental focus is the chief
source of tension,

so right mental focus can be
its remedy.

To relax, begin by thinking of some
pleasant experience."

- Ethel.
- "Think...

Wasn't there a crazy old bird bath
over there a while ago?

- A bird bath?
- Hm-hmm.

I saw something that looked like
a petrified wedding cake, why?

Because half of it's gone.

I think I'm going to find out
what's going on around here.

Jan, you're supposed to be resting!

To relax, begin thinking of some
pleasant exper...

Oh, come on, Chucky...

I know you're in there.
You'd better come out.

I've got a gun!

Bang, bang, you're dead!

Oh!

Oh, come back here, you!

This is private property, lady.

Now wait a minute...

Come here, kids.

I'm afraid there's been some mistake...

This is my property and that's my
bird bath you're washing in.

You mind turning your head,
the little ones are half naked.

Oh... oh, no, of course not.

But when you're all dressed,
I want you to scat.

Come back here!

Come back here with that,
that's my breakfast!

Come here, come on now,
you give me that!

- Give it to me, give it to me!
- Give it to her, Butch.

Give it to me... oh!

No, down, it's mine!

Get down, Butch, get down!

For heaven's sake, will you get...

I was going to eat that roll!

Jan, did you see a big mangy...

What's this?

Oh, will you please turn around?
The little ones are half naked.

Who are your friends?

Search me.

Where do you kids live?

We was living here.

- What do you mean you're living here?
- We're sort of passing through.

Where are your folks?

The last we seen them they was
in Torrington to pick tobacco.

Do they know you're here?

No.

What do you mean, you ran away?

We didn't have to run none.

They were passed out drunk.

You can turn around now.

What's your name, lady?

My name is Janice Courtney.

What's yours?

I'm Brenda.

We're all Smiths. I'm Leo.

I'm Amy.

I'm Sherman Smith.
This is my sister Dulcie.

She's a girl, we're both twins.

This is Quigley, my baby.

I see.

That's Butch, he's our dog.

Oh.

And what is your name, young man?

That's Sonny, he don't talk.

Never?

He used to, 'bout a year ago
he just stopped and quit.

And we haven't heard a word
from him since.

Has he been to see a doctor?

What for, lady, he ain't sick,
he just quit talking.

Are you gonna eat that, lady?

The bun? Oh, no, the dog had...

Um... why don't you children
come with us and...

And, you can come up to
the big house and...

...and we'll fix you something
good to eat.

Come on, now. Let's go on up there.

- You're sure?
- Come on, Sherman,

Just go right to the big house, we have
a very nice housekeeper...

...and she loves children.

Oh, sure she does.

The answer is no.

My agreement was no children
and no pets...

...and I'm holding up my end
even if you are not.

Who is working for who around here?

I'm not working for you,
that's for sure.

But you are working for me...

...and I'm telling you to fix some
food for these children!

You know perfectly well I can't
abide children.

- But Mama...
- Shut up, Ava.

We are not like other children.

Just tell us when they've left,
Miss Courtney,

We'll be waiting in our room.

Come along, Ava.

- Now, hold on here!
- I'm hungry!

Selena! Selena, do you...

Oh!

I'm hungry!

Wait just a minute!

All right, all right!

Here, live it up!

Selena, you come out of there!

This is my house and I demand that...

Now what is that?

Will you turn that thing off?

Will you please turn that thing off?

Oh, hello, Miss Courtney.

What's that, I can't hear you,
it's very loud.

Will you turn that noise-maker off
and get off of my property?

Now look what you've done!

What kind of a lousy gardener
are you, anyway,

Well, I'd say somewhere between, um...
fairly lousy and very lousy.

- Do you actually accept money for this?
- No, Pete accepts money for that.

- Pete?
- Pete Lasser, that's your gardener.

I just fill in for him when he's sick.

Actually, I'm Jim Larkin, pastor of the
Fairmont Community Church in town.

- Oh, good Lord.
- Amen.

Amen.

Will you get that...

Oh, um... would you excuse me,
Reverend, um...

Will you get that mangy dog
out of this kitchen?

Jan!

Jan!

What are we going to do, they've
eaten four jars of olives already.

- Well, isn't there any milk?
- Milk! Good thinking.

What's going on here, anyway?

What are you doing here?
Get out in the garden where you belong!

Jan, you have got to learn to put
your foot down with the help!

No, but Ethel, Ethel...

What, I can't hear a word
you're saying.

She's trying to tell you
I'm a preacher.

- A what?
- A preacher.

- A preacher?
- That's right.

I'll explain it to you later.

Who are these kids, anyway?

- I found them in my bird bath.
- Your bird bath?

I'll explain it to you later.

Oh, well, it sounds like feeding
time, where's Selena?

- She's on strike.
- She's allergic to children.

I don't like her, she won't feed us!

I know Selena from way back.
Don't worry, I'll take...

Listen!

That's better now.

If you want to eat the first thing you
have to do is be quiet, okay?

And the second thing you have to do is
wash your face and your hands, right?

You're in charge of that, right?

- Right.
- Right.

Go on.

You heard the man, let's wash
your face and hands.

And leave the dirt in the wash basin,
not the towels, right?

- Right.
- Right.

Now, you get the butter, bacon and eggs
out of the refrigerator,

you've got the milk right there,
and I'll be right back.

Oh, don't forget the frying pan, right?

All right.

Oh, it's all a dream.
Just kind of a bad dream.

Open up, Selena.

It's Jim Larkin.

Yes, Reverend Larkin?

They don't ask me to take
my bird bath...

Um...

The frying pan.

Where did...

Well, it's not there.

Don't be silly...

Oh, forget it.

Oh, there you are.

Well, um... oh...

Well, that's that.

- She'll cook for the kids?
- No, she quit.

- Quit?
- Yeah.

Well, they acted like guests.

You don't want a bunch of goldbrickers
around here, do you?

You're a regular wonder, Reverend.

You fixed everything just fine,
except for one thing.

What?
- We'll all starve to death. I can't cook.

What about your colleague?

- Ethel?
- Yeah.

Oh, she can't even open
a box of crackers.

Looks like I'm elected, eh?

Come here, Speedy.

Didn't think I'd check, did you, huh?

Uh-huh.

You go back and wash behind
both ears.

Alright, alright, alright.

All you kids can help set
the dining room table.

This lovely lady here will show you how.
Now, plates.

Here... Oh, do you think you can handle
these without dropping them?

Just hand me the plates, wise guy.

Come on, kids, we're all busing.

- All right.
- I wanna help.

And now, Miss Courtney, cooking
lesson number one.

This, my dear Miss Courtney,
is an egg.

Because of it's fragile outer covering,
it is very easily broken, observe.

Better get the paper plates.

- Right.
- Right.

Okay, kids, let's eat.

Come on, you guys!

- Leo, give this to Butch.
- Oh, okay.

Come here, Butch!

Hey, you, you, you, come sit
over here.

Come sit over here.

Look what I just got!

Look at what I got!

Thank you.

Come on.

Dear Lord,

granted there be no others wanting
for the fruits of thy goodness...

that thou hast blessed us with today,

that all thy servants may partake
of thy generous harvest.

and that strengthened by them we may
continue in thy service, O Lord,

all the days of our life, amen.

- Amen.
- May I have a banana?

Take your napkins.
Come on, take all your napkins.

You see, Ava, we must profit
from every experience.

- But Mama...
- When we get to be a star, dear,

we'll still be nice to the little people.

I thought that preacher was
kinda cute.

Shut up, Ava!

They dropped the TV!

This one isn't clean.

Wipe it off.

You're supposed to be resting.

Oh, I wish I were.

Ladies, we've a new assistant chef,
Mr. Sonny Smith.

They're a little new at this dish-washing,
Sonny, but they'll get used to it.

What kind of a screwball is he, anyway?

In case you don't recognize the type,
honey, that is a man.

Yeah, well I know all types of men...

but this one is beyond me.

With a little effort, you might
catch up to him.

Not done yet, huh?

Sonny and I are all through,
what's holding you two up?

You know, Reverend, you seem
to have all the answers,

but here's a little question for you.

Where are these kids going
to sleep tonight?

Well, let's see...

We were talking about calling
the sheriff.

- No, no, we can't do that.
- Why not?

- We'll handle it ourselves.
- How?

Well, my landlady, she's got
lots of room,

she loves kids, I think she'd be
delighted to put them up for the night.

That'd be perfect.

Then I could get a little rest
around here.

- Thank you, Reverend.
- Good.

Now, that's all settled.
I'll take Leo, Brenda and Sherman,

and you take Amy, Dulcie and Sonny.

Me?

- Oh, wait a minute!
- If I can handle three, so can you.

Oh, I certainly didn't say, Reverend...

As a special concession,
I'll take the dog.

Wrap this up for him, will you?

Come on, kids, special dessert tonight.

Apple turnover. Homemade.

Come on, Butch.

Butch, get in this car!

Well, we've tried blind man's buff,
funny songs, hot cocoa, what's next?

I guess we just have to put
them to bed.

I'll do the dishes.

You will?

I can't stand the way they look at me.

And now, children, we've had a lovely
day today, haven't we?

And now it's time to go
beddy bye, huh?

We can go to sleep and have
a lovely rest,

then we'll wake up in the morning
and have a beautiful breakfast.

Oh now, look, don't worry about...

Brenda, and Leo, and... Sherman,
they're going to be all right.

Really. They're coming back
in the morning. They...

Well, um... Let's go to sleep.
I'm so tired. Uh...

Here, honey, uh... Dulcie.

Darling, you sleep right over there
on that sofa...

Over there, that's it, honey,
get right up.

That's a girl...
Right over there, darling.

You're just gonna love that...
bed... well...

Um, Amy, dear, it's more your size, honey.
You get right over there.

That's a girl, get right over there.

Oh! Butch, get down!

How did you get back here,
anyway?

Now, Butch!

We've come back. Nobody
splits us up.

Hello?

Oh... Reverend Larkin.

Oh, yes, they certainly are.

No, no, no, please don't bother.

They're here, might as well stay.

No, thank you.

You've done more than enough
in one day.

Well, uh...

Let's see. We can sleep three
in here and, um...

Who would like to sleep in the
Johnsons' room?

No, thanks, we'll all sleep
right in here.

Together.

Um... well now... we'll just
get some, um...

Um...

Ethel!

Thank you, Sherman.

Now, we all have a nice comfortable
place to sleep,

We're gonna get up bright
and early in the morning,

We have to say our prayers first.

- You what?
- Their prayers.

Come on, Dulcie, it's your turn.
Come on, Sonny.

Thank you, God, for taking care of us
all day and for your blessing so... so...

- Bountiful!
- ...so bountiful.

God bless Leo, and Amy, and Sonny,
and Sherman, and Brenda.

And Dulcie, that's me.

God bless Butch and everybody else
in the whole wide world.

Amen.

Amen.

Why didn't you pray, Leo?

Aw, praying ain't never did
me no good.

Perhaps you have to keep at it.

Besides, who would I pray to?

What about God?

There ain't no such person.

Maybe he's not a person like us, but...

...there is someone or something
we call God.

Well, if there is, how come he ain't got
no use for me and the kids?

We ain't that bad.

You need a haircut.

Oh, Butch!

Get out, you freeloader!

What is it? What's the matter?

Something wrong?

Come on, girl, here, here.

What is it?
- She lost Quigley.

- Quigley?
- Her blanket, she can't sleep without it.

Oh, we have plenty of blankets.
Get her another one.

No, it's got to be that one.
That's her baby.

I want Quigley, I want my baby!

Where is it?

- Sherman threw it in the garbage.
- I didn't mean to.

- Yes you did!
- I want Quigley, where's Quigley?

Hold it, Sonny, you gotta be quiet.

Sherman, go get it.

- It's gone, the trashman took it away.
- It's all your fault!

Stop that nonsense and go to sleep!

I want my baby!

Well...

Guess I'd better find Quigley.

- Did you say the trashman took it?
- That's right.

Quigley.

Operator, I'd like to place a
person-to-person call to New York.

To Mr. Martin Bliss, please.

Quigley-schmigley, crazy phone calls
in the middle of the night.

Who needs kids and a lousy
blanket anyway?

- Hey, is this it?
- No!

Quigley's white and has pink
and blue things on it.

Oh, got pink and blue things on it.

Why, everybody else had a donut.

I bet if we gave them a chance,
everybody would eat this donut.

Any luck?

Quigley!

They found Quigley!
Yay! Yay!

Come on, little Dulcie, come on!

Well, the crisis is over.

Everybody back to bed.

You see the good you've done tonight?

Yeah, very touching.

Now I'm stepfather to a dirty blanket.

When are you gonna get rid of them?

Well, I thought I'd call the authorities
in the morning.

Good, it can't be too soon, you know.
Kids will shorten your life, you know that?

You probably lost a couple
of years already.

Sherman!

You've been in and out of that
bathroom ten times today.

- Aren't you feeling well?
- Sure, I just like to flush toilets.

Hey, Sher, will you hurry up
with the water, I need it!

Come on, Butch, get out of the way!
You want to get run over?

Easy, Old Paint, you've got a whole
summer to go yet.

Sherman, don't you mess with that beast,
you can't trust it.

Good morning, hon. Trust you slept well
after last night's scavenger hunt.

What's going on?
Oh, she put you to work, huh?

No, we done it ourselves.
We work for our keep.

Good morning.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Who's that in a tuxedo?

Oh, my goodness. Reverend Larkin.

Oh.

Well, what a lovely Connecticut
morning it is today.

And I brought you a little tree.

Oh, how are the children?

Oh, fine, thank you.

Present in the count of four,
all six of them.

You know, I was thinking, I...

- Reverend Larkin...
- Yes?

Your thinking may be very fine
for the children,

but it hasn't been much help to me.

So I've taken the matter into my own
hands and called the sheriff.

- You...
- Thank you for the tree.

Um... Well, I... I wouldn't...

I don't want to discuss it anymore,
I haven't even had my coffee yet.

Do you realize, do you realize what
that sheriff will do to those kids?

I don't care what he does
as long as he...

What are you doing with that
tree in my kitchen?

I'm cooking it for lunch,
what do you think I'm doing?

Why don't we all have some coffee?

I didn't do anything, honest.
I was just looking at it.

- Looking at what? What's the matter?
- The ice machine, I recognize the tune.

I thought only God could make a tree.

Jan!

Jan!

Jan!

Help me close it!

Get the paper basket!

- Another basket!
- Jim!

Here, the basin!

What's going on in here?

Where's the plug?

Uh, it's... it's outside...
on the balcony... the fuse box!

Ethel, get something!

Give me that bucket!

The towel's getting
soaked, I...

Get the bucket in the...
That's it.

Thank you, Sherman.

All fixed, huh?

How did you girls get so wet?

It wasn't easy!
Like this!

Jim, you're gorgeous.

No one can see in that window,
can they?

What's the matter, Joseph had
a coat of many colors.

That was two thousand years ago,
styles have changed.

Get a hold of Butch, he's heading
for the kitchen.

That's the kids, hide me!

No use hiding behind that
tree, Reverend.

I can see you.

Sheriff, you finally made it.

Don't know when I've seen you in
such a pretty kimono, Reverend.

Well, if you're feeling out of place, Sheriff,
I have another one you can use.

Uh, go on home, Tom,
it's all a mistake.

No, it's not a mistake.
Come on in, Sheriff.

Thank you. I, uh...

...came to tell you I can't take
those kids, Miss Courtney.

The budget don't allow boarding
juveniles in the jail.

- Jail?
- Maybe you could put them in a chain gang.

Of course there is a way to close
the books on this case...

not going through a lot of red tape
with the welfare people and...

What do you mean?

I could drive them up to New York State line,
see, and then dump them on the other side.

Then it's New York's problem.

Dump them? Do you mean to say that...

What kind of a monster
are you, anyway?

You mean to say you're going to take
six marvelous children...

...and just dump them like
so much garbage?

- I know, but...
- Will you get out of my house!

- Get out of my house!
- Just a minute...

I asked you here as a friend
to help me with the children,

not to dump them all over
in New York.

Well, there's a fellow there in
a kimono, I could book him!

- It's not his!
- Just a minute here!

Just get out of my house!

I wouldn't even wish you in Alaska.

You're not hitting a man,
you're hitting a uniform here!

- I'm hungry!
- What?

Here, put a little salt on that.

Walking through the jungle was the
biggest beast in the animal kingdom.

The elephant! On he came,
one muddy foot after the other.

And then he stopped!

Right in front of him was
a frightening sight.

A mouse!

Everybody knows elephants
are scared of mice.

Slowly he turned around.

And the mouse, looking him
straight in the eye, said...

Wait a minute, wait a minute!

I think Sherman has a beautiful snort.

Can you snort like that?

No, I didn't think so. That's the way
a nose should sound.

Do it again, Sherman.

Atta boy!

# It's a darn good thing #
# A nose sounds like a nose #

# It's a darn good thing #
# A hand sounds like a hand #

# Life would have its woes #
# Cause let us just suppose #

# You tried to snap your nose #

# You couldn't count the pains #
# It would bring #

# I tell you, chum, it's comforting #

# That a nose goes #
# And a hand goes #

# And all in all #
# That's a darn good thing #

That's perfect.
# It's a darn good thing #

# A bird sounds like a bird #
# Tweet tweet #

# It's a darn good thing #
# A dog sounds like a dog #

# Wouldn't life be stark #
# If when you saw a lark #

# The lark began to bark #

# It sure could make #
# You six kids stay clean #

# I tell you, chum, it's comforting #

Are you ready?
# That a nose goes #

# And a hand goes #
# That a bird goes #

# And the dog goes #

# And all in all #
# It's a darn good thing #

Very nice, that's a good dog.

Hey, what about Leo?

- Let's get Leo!
- Yeah, let's get Leo!

# Like the mountain goat #
# Told a man he knew #

# You may think life's a lonely thing #

# It's all a point of view #

# For instance #
# It's a darn good thing #

# A drum sounds like a drum #

# It's a darn good thing #
# A bell sounds like a bell #

# Wouldn't life be dumb #
# If when you beat a drum #

# Instead of rum-tum-tum #
# The drum began to ring ting-a-ling #

# I tell you, chums, it's comforting #

One more time.

# That a nose goes #
# And a hand goes #

# That a bird goes #
# And a dog goes #

# And a drum goes #
# And a bell goes #

# And all in all #
Together.

# It's a darn good thing #

Come on, Leo, join the party.

# It's a darn good thing #
# A train sounds like a train #

# It's a darn good thing #
# A plane sounds like a plane #

# Life would be insane #
# If when you saw a train #

# It took off like a plane #

# The chances are your eyeballs would ping #

# I tell you, chums, it's comforting #

Got another snort?
# That a nose goes #

# And a hand goes #
# That a bird goes #

# And a dog goes #
# That a drum goes #

# And a bell goes #
# And a train goes #

# And a plane goes #
# And all in all #

# It's a darn good thing #

# It's a darn good thing #

# The sky above is blue #

# It's a darn good thing #

# The earth below is brown #

# If the sky were brown #

# We'd all walk upside down #

# Each smile would be a frown #

# We'd wind up with #
# Our hopes in a sling #

# I tell you chums #
# It's comforting #

# That a nose goes #
# And a hand goes #

# That a bird goes #
# And a dog goes #

# That a drum goes #
# And a bell goes #

# And a... and a... and a... #

Wait a minute!
Cut that out!

Put that down!
Just a... Ethel!

All right, break it up, come on!

- Come on, come on...
- Show's over, time for bed!

Come an Amy, you get on to bed.

All right, Sherman, hop...

And you, uh... you can have the big
pillow tonight... Sherman!

- I'm sorry!
- Ethel!

You looking for something, Sonny?

Good night, little man.

It's hard not to play favoritism.

- Sherman is my pillow boy.
- I can do it too.

Come on, I'll fix you some coffee.

I haven't even had a boiled water today.

Here, Dulcie.

That preacher ain't such a bad guy.

Leo, you're a very shrewd
judge of character.

But there's one thing I
don't understand.

How a smart fellow like him come
to be a preacher.

There must be a mistake somewhere.

Why don't you speak to him
about it?

Maybe you can talk him out of it.

Nah.

I'll mind my business if he'll mind his.

Have a blanket?

Oh, I'm a fan of yours from way back.

I remember the first thing
I ever saw you in.

"Young and Happy".
Saw it twice.

- Jim...
- I saw "Dodie Jones' Holiday"...

...when you tried it out in New Haven.

Good thing they rewrote that
second act, huh?

Jim, I'm flattered that you're
a fan of mine, but...

I've got a big mishmash to take care of
and it's sleeping in my living room.

Oh, you mean the kids?
No problem.

We'll just send them to juvenile hall.

A buddy of mine works there,
there'll be no red tape.

What will they do with them?

What do you care as long as they're
off your hands?

I don't, really.

I'm just curious, that's all.

What will they do with them?

Send them out for adoption.

Who will adopt six children?

No one.

Most people only want one,
usually an infant.

They'll just split them up and farm them
out to foster homes.

Here we go again, Sonny.

We're getting out of here.

Oh now look, Sonny, there ain't
no use of crying.

Why, you're almost grown up now.

Get your shoes on.

Isn't there anything we can do
for the children?

Come on, get your shoes on!

After all, it is a great responsibility.

- I wouldn't worry about it Jan, I'm sure...
- Leave this thing here.

It doesn't belong to us.

But how do you know you
can count on it?

Sherman, Sherman,
get up, Sherman, get up!

Well, what about their parents?

When the children ran away,
they were in Torrington.

They couldn't have gotten far.

Couldn't we try to find them?

Oh, absolutely, we could always
send out Butch.

Butch?

Yeah, he must have a little
blood hound in him.

He's got everything else.

- They're going over the wall.
- Who?

Your six convicts, come on!

Set up a road block!

Ethel! Ethel!

What's up, friends?

Where are you going?

You're gonna turn us over
to juvenile hall.

We heard you talking.

No, you've got it wrong, Leo.

We have to report you to
the authorities...

...so that Miss Courtney can get
temporary custody.

Temporary custody?

What's that?

Well, that's the legal right to keep you
here until we find your parents.

- But she don't want us.
- Oh, I think she does.

- Why don't you ask her?
- Do you, Miss Jan?

Of course I do.

Well, what are we all standing
around here for?

You're gonna catch pneumonia.
Now let's go back to bed.

Everyone. March!

Alright, troop, you heard the sergeant.

Back to the barracks.

They had to escape some place,
didn't they?

- I mean, I couldn't just let them run off.
- Absolutely.

Besides, it's just until we find
their parents.

What am I going to do with six kids?

- Tomorrow, for example.
- How about a picnic?

- Picnic?
- Hm.

Gee, I haven't been on one
of them since...

I'll get my landlady make some potato
salad, bake some brownies.

- Could you?
- Sure.

That'd be marvelous.

Marty is coming up tomorrow, I'll call him
and tell him to bring some cold cuts.

Jim, that's a wonderful idea.

I don't know how I'd ever
manage without you.

Glad I was around.

Sonny.

Why don't you use this pitcher, honey,
that way you're going to spill it.

Come on.

No good, huh?

Well, you're the boss.

I'm reading this book about tree planting,
I'm sure you know all about it.

But the gardener is off now, so will you
help me take this out in the back...

I tried that, Jan.
He's adopted it.

We have a tree in the kitchen.

There's a lady with a funny car outside.

Well, who does she want...

Did she ask for me?

Uh, well, I'll take care of it.

I guess you'll just have to cut
a hole in the roof.

No other way to plant a...

Then you'll be sure and get
it there by eleven.

Right. Thank you.

Hi! I'm Diane Soper.

I've got some chocolate brownies
and some potato salad for you.

- Potato salad?
- Yes, I'm Jim Larkin's landlady.

- Who are you?
- Oh, that's Sherman.

- You certainly don't look like a landlady.
- That's what I keep telling my husband.

We know what it is to feed a gang of
urchins, we've got seven of our own.

Seven?
You got me beat.

Amy, put that in the kitchen.

- Oh, I really appreciate this.
- Oh, I'm glad to do it.

While I'm here, maybe you've
got a white elephant...

...you'd like to donate to our auction.

We're raising money to build
a new rectory for Jim.

Oh, he didn't tell me.

Oh, he's just got a room with us. He doesn't
complain, but he's pretty cramped.

Some silly thing that you don't need.
The uglier, the better.

- A bird bath?
- A big one?

- Oh, yes, very, and complicated.
- Sounds perfect.

Look, I'm a little filled up.

Can you get it to the church
before eleven?

Oh, um... yes, leave it to me.

Good girl.

Thanks again, Mrs. Soper.

Call me Dianne.

Anybody I should know?

If you like children and potato salad.

Kid.

You can't afford it.

Well... I thought you were
gonna get rid of them.

They'll destroy you.

Oh, nonsense. Last night I had
my best sleep in years.

You're not running an orphanage,
you know.

No, it's just till we find their parents.

- Who is this man?
- Oh, Mario, kid...

This is Mario, I borrowed
him from 21.

Wait till you see what he does
with truffles.

- Truffles?
- Yeah, you wanted a picnic, you got a picnic.

What's the matter?

Marty, will you do me a favor?

Yeah, sure, what?

Never, never change.

Yeah, yeah, well, where's the spot, huh?

Oh, in due time. But first we have
to take the bird bath to church.

Wh... what?
The what?

First we have to take the bird
bath to the church.

I think you'd better come back
to New York with me.

- Marty!
- Take me to your bird bath.

This way.

- You... you get it.
- Just a minute, will you, I...

- Isn't that Janice Courtney?
- That's just who it is.

I'd recognize her even in those
old clothes.

Janice Courtney! Oh, you are
Janice Courtney, aren't you?

I've always wanted to meet you.

Turn me around!

Come on turn around, quick, quick!

- Miss Courtney, we recognized you right away.
- We recognized you immediately.

You are going to stay for our auction.

No, I'm afraid she can't, Phyllis.
Miss Courtney's very busy, um...

Jan, I'm sorry about all this.

My daughter will just faint
when she hears...

Dianne, hold them off for a minute,
will you? I'll be right back.

But I want to talk to...

Mr. Dodd.

You must be Martin Bliss.
I'm Reverend Larkin.

- How do you do?
- Hi, Sherman.

Here, let me help you, Mr. Bliss.

Just get the kid away from me,
I think he likes me or something.

I'd like to meet the idiot that
buys this thing.

Well, we'll find a sucker.

- I think we've got a problem.
- Just put it right there, Mr. Bliss.

That's fine, there we are.
Now let's, um...

- Oliver is...
- One bird bath.

Oh, hello, Oliver.

This is Oliver Dodd, everybody.
He's going to do the auctioneering.

- Um, Jim.
- Huh?

What?

You mean...
You mean you can't...

Well, what are we going to do?

I don't know...
I don't know.

Sold to the lady in the red hat
for a mere $17.00.

This valuable, irreplaceable, um...
early-American example of a...

...aspirin crusher.

Would you be so kind as to
pass that to the lucky lady?

How do we stand, Dianne?

Ladies and gentlemen, we've just put
a roof on the rectory.

Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
what am I bid? What am I bid...

...for this exquisite haven and watering
place for our feathered friends?

Let's start with a little bid.

Do I hear a bid from this handsome
debonaire gentleman...

...in a New York-producer-type suit
with the striped shirt?

Do I hear a bid?

$50? $50, sir.
You'll never regret that.

$50, ladies and gentlemen, do I hear 55?

$55, do I hear...

Ladies and gentlemen, I can scarcely
believe my own eyes.

This gentleman has just raised
his own bid to $100!

Sold to the gentleman in the
New York-producer-type suit...

...with the striped shirt.

Yessir!
No, no, wait a minute!

Sir, you are now the proud owner of the
pedestal of this magnificent bird bath.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to go
on to the bidding of this magnificent bowl.

This magnificently carved two kissing
cousins and their fowl friend.

Ladies and gentlemen, do I hear a bid,
do I hear a bid, ladies and gentlemen?

Do I hear $50?
$50...

I tell you what I'm going to do,
ladies and gentlemen.

I'll start the bidding myself at $50, right?

Do I hear 55? 55...
Do I hear 54? 54...

You mean nobody here wants
a half a bird bath?

Nobody has a half a bird?

Oh, now, ladies and gentlemen,
it's a beautiful bird...

Sold to our talented auctioneer,
Miss Janice Courtney!

Well, now we both don't have
a bird bath.

I know a lot of people that would have said
I'd do with a lot less than that in common.

- Ladies and gentlemen.
- Marty, shhh.

Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention.

Give me that!

Well, don't look at me.

The Reverend Larkin has some
news for us.

He asked for it!

Thank you.

Didn't you?

Well, as I sat here watching
the rectory become a reality,

it occured to me that perhaps we might
direct our donations to an even more...

...communal cause.

For a long time now we've all
been aware of the need...

...of a parish house.

So, now that we have your money,

let's put it to work...

...for the future of our children,
our church, our community,

and build the swingingest parish house
in the state of Connecticut.

Doreen!

Doreen! Come on out, Doreen,
we're here!

Doreen!

Get out of there!

Angel! Angel!

Where are we, B.J.?

Well, this is the address the
sheriff give me.

You mean them brats are in there?

Course not, probably got them
tied up in the garage.

They'd better be, B.J.,
I just looked under the matress.

- Well, I'd better get my hat.
- We only got two dollars left.

We're almost out of beer.

Oh, don't fret, doll.

We'll find them kids before the
relief man comes round.

We'd better.

You know, if we lose that welfare money,
you're gonna have to go back to work.

Don't you think I know that?

Come on, Doreen, put down
that beer.

Come on!

I had my mouth all fixed for it.

Don't you want any, Sonny?

How about you, Amy?

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Try some.

You should have more chicken.

Come on.

I don't think he likes caviar.

At eleven bucks an ounce he likes it.

- Don't you?
- Uh-uh.

Oh, this looks divine.

You want another piece
of chicken, honey?

You want to try some?

Yoo-hoo!

Anybody home?

Where are you kids?

Come on, kids, comes on!

Anybody home?

Come on, kids, come on!

Come on, get in the shed.

Yoo-hoo!

Hi.

What is it, can we help you?

Are you serious?

I'm, uh... B.J. Smith.

And this here's my sweet
angel wife Doreen.

The sheriff told us we'd find
our little ones here.

You mean you are their parents?

My babies, my babies.

Oh, where are my babies?

Oh, so you're the parents.

Well, sit down, have a little champagne.

You got any beer?

Them kids didn't give you
no trouble, did they?

Oh, no, no. Quigley got lost
one night, that's all.

Quigley?

The dog, B.J., you remember.

The dog.

And then there's the little boy
that likes to flush toilets, um...

Norman.

Norman, yes.

Norman was always hard to handle,
but we love him just the same.

Hm, I'm sure you do.

Um, children! Children, your parents
are here, come on out!

So that's where they are.

Alright, you kids!

They aren't our parents!

They only make us say so when
the relief man comes around.

There they go telling that
vicious lie again.

Just wait till I get a hold of you!

Just wait till I get a hold of you!

I'm getting my hands on you!
Come on out of there!

Come on out of there!

Don't you stick your sassy face
out at me!

I'll get you! I'll show you!

Stop running around that pooch!

- Hey, Jim!
- I think they can handle it.

I'll show you who's boss here!

Oh, enough is enough!

Leave those poor children alone!

Better mind your own business, lady!

- Come on!
- B.J., I got an idea.

You seem to have taken
a great fancy to them kids.

- What's on your mind, Mrs. Smith?
- How would you like to keep'em?

- Keep them?
- You can have them for $300 a head.

- What are you saying.
- Cash and carry.

You get off of my property,
do you hear me, get out!

And you'll never set hands
on those children again.

Listen, those are my sister's kids.

Blood's thicker than water.

You heard what the lady said,
now get out of here both of you.

- We'll take you to court!
- You do just that!

- You won't get away with this!
- Out.

- Listen, the law's on our side.
- Out!

- My babies, my babies, B.J.!
- Come on, Doreen.

Those scrounging people!

I tell you, we'll file a suit in Palmdale.

Palmdale!

My babies, oh, my babies!

Jim, we can't let the children
go back with those vultures.

We'll file a counter complaint. Charge them
with fraud and criminal neglect.

- Do you think it'll work?
- I don't know,

we'll give them one hell of a fight.

Jim!

- Judge.
- Good afternoon, Reverend.

Judge, this is Miss Jan Courtney.

- Names, please.
- Doreen and B.J. Smith.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith,

I have here a sworn statement
signed by Miss Courtney...

that you have admitted posing as the
parents of six children in your care...

...for purposes of extracting money
from the Welfare Department.

Is this true?

Well, Your Honor,

we've always loved them kids just like
they was our very own.

Took 'em in out of the cold when...

...Doreen's sister run off.

Only one in the family that ever
went bad.

How old are these children,
Mrs. Smith?

How old?

That's right, how old are they?

You'd better ask B.J., he's better
than me in arithmetic.

Well, sir?

How old is the oldest one,
about ten?

Well, sir?

Well, how should I know,
they're just kids.

I see.

It also says here...

you very kindly offered to sell
the children to Miss Courtney...

...for $300 apiece.

Why so low, Mr. Smith?

That was the wife's idea, not mine.

All we want is to get back the
money we spent on them.

Well, that sounds like a very
fair proposition to me.

I can't understand why Miss Courtney
turned it down, can you?

No, honey, I can't.

I didn't think so.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith, it is my
duty to inform you...

that whatever legal jurisdiction you may
have had with these children in the past,

is henceforth null and void.

The children are hereby appointed
wardens of the court.

Oh!!!

Oh, but Your Honor,

them kids is all we got in this
wide world.

And besides, what'll I tell the relief
man when he comes around?

Now, don't fret, Doreen. We'll have some
kids of our own when we get married.

Maybe I've been too hasty.

Thinking it over,

I'm willing to let the three
littlest ones go at half price.

Oh, shut up!

I'd like to put you two in jail
for the rest of your lives.

And if you're not off these premises
within three minutes or less,

I'm going to try and find
some way to do it.

Is that clear?

Y-Yes, sir, Judge, that's clear alright.
Come on, Doreen, let's get out...

What good were you, you damn fool?
Now we're in a mess!

We ain't got one red cent!

Listen, you're going to go to work
and you're gonna get us a house...

Thank you, Judge Harris.

Thank you for your decision.

Well, it wasn't a very difficult
one to reach.

What's the next step, Judge?

Unless I can find a temporary home
for the children,

they'll have to go to the authorities
at Hartford.

Wouldn't it be possible for the children
to just stay with me?

Until you find a permanent home,
that is.

Yes, it might be possible.

Provided I approved it.

Well, I think they've been
happy with me.

Have you been happy with them?

Yes... I've never been happier.

Miss Courtney,

there's no telling how long your
custody might last.

Maybe a week, maybe a year.

It's all very fine to say you
want custody.

But let's make sure you know
exactly what that means.

It means that those children...

...are going to be your responsibility.

You've got to feed them,
clothe them,

protect them whether they're
sick or well.

And furthermore, you've got
to enjoy doing it.

Now, I don't know you.

I know you're an actress.

I can see you're very beautiful.

However, neither of these things
qualifies you as a foster parent.

Judge, may I say something?

This summer I've gotten to know
Miss Courtney quite well.

I've seen her with the children,
I've seen how they've responded to her,

I don't think you'll find a home where...

they'll get more affection or...

...or greater understanding.

I think she's ideal.

Here, you take these home
and read them.

And then if you're still in
the same mind,

fill them out and have an
attorney notorize them.

Thank you, Judge Harris.

Thank the Reverend.

His word goes a long way around
here, you know?

Tell me.

Have you thought of adopting them?

Oh, I'm not married, Judge Harris.

Oh...

Pity.

Well, Leo, what shall we do
to celebrate?

You know, maybe she was right.

About what?

Well, I remember what Miss Jan was
saying about God and all that.

Yeah?

Well, you didn't do anything like saying
a prayer or anything like that.

Of course not.

- What ever gave you that idea?
- Well...

Someone's missing.

There are only five of you,
who's missing?

They're back!

Miss Jan! Reverend Larkin!

Come and help me with these bags.

Here you are, dear.
Oops! Okay, honey.

And a blue one.

Woooh!
Have you got it?

Oh, one more.

Oh, now, wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute!

Don't open anything. All together.

Uh-uh!
Ready, get set, go!

Hey, look at this!

Here you are, Butch.

Just to let you know that
you belong.

Yeah, yeah...

Amy's, Sherman's...

Hold on to this.

You must be the folks that called
for the school bus.

You ought to be out on the road.
Come on in, we're late.

We'll be on the road tomorrow morning.

Okay, get on the bus.

On the bus, everybody.

That's it.

Step right up, up on the bus.

Butch! Butch!

Come here, Butch!

Leo, get the dog!
Get him off of here.

- Butch, come on now, get off of this bus!
- Get down, you can't go to school.

Get down from there!

What are you doing with that plank?
He can't bring that thing in here.

Don't yell at a child.

Sherman!

Don't push!
Boy, you're a bossy bus driver!

Jan, you'd better get off before
you get kicked off!

Sherman. Property of Sherman.
It'll be here when you get home, alright?

I want my board!

- I want my board!
- I'll save it for you at home, honey!

Come back here!
Butch, come back here!

- Where are you going?
- Butch, come here!

Butch, come back here!

- Where are you all going?
- Get that dog!

Hey, Sherman, grab him!

Children, get back in the bus!

Butch! Butch!

Butch!

Butch, come here.

Come back here, Butch!

Here, Butch!

Ethel, come here and help
me find... Ooh!

Ethel, come in at the back!

Ethel! Ethel! The back... Ethel!

Here Butch!

Get back! Get back on the bus!
Get back into...

Will you get back on that bus!

- I'm not a child!
- Oh, I'm sorry.

Is it always like this?

This is just the first day.
Wait till they get to know each other.

Hey, that one!

Will you get back!

This is ridiculous!
I never... Ooh!

What... what's happening?

Marty!
All this...

...just because of some silly dog.

What dog?

He ran away, ran away and left...

Butch?

Butch! Don't leave me now!

Marty, get that dog!

Bring him back here!

Will you wait a minute?

Will you spare the upholstery?
Will you...

Get that dog! Go on!

Marty, do something!

- Marty!
- Poor man!

I'll close the front door, you shove them
in the back when they come around here.

Get in here!
Get in here!

All right, all right, I got it...

- Here we go, inside.
- Come on.

Get in the door, that's it.

Get in, get in...

- Let me out!
- Oh!

We can't get him out.

- Get him out on the other side.
- All right! Come on!

Open the door, there's a man inside!

Marty, are you all right?

Where do you think you're going?

How dare you strike that child!

Why not, this one's mine.

I'm going back to the city
where it's safe.

Will we have to go through this
every morning?

Come on, Butch.

Sonny, let's go in and take a nap.

Bye, Marty... Marty!

Where are you going?

What did you come up for anyway?

Oh, the... the script.

I'm not interested...

You'll love this one,
it's by Kingsley Cross.

- Kinglsey Cross?
- America's greatest playwrite, honey.

He wants you and nobody
else but you.

- Me?
- That's right. We'll be up in the morning...

- What time does the bus get here?
- Nine o'clock.

We1ll be here in the afternoon.
Read it, honey, you'll love it.

I'm not interested!
Marty, take this with you!

"Love is the broken wing of chance."

"The evil in you crying out
to the evil in me."

"There is a gnawing desire
in my heart, Jeremy."

"It's name is love."

"And it has left my heart torn
and bleeding."

"Yes, bleeding for you."
- Jan, please. The kids are eating.

"No, Jeremy! Don't touch me!"

"It brings back that unspeakable drunken
night with you and Caroline."

"Do you remember, Jeremy?"

"When you threw down your drink
and sat down beside her?

And frightened Miss Moffat away.

Jim!

Eat your dinner.

Jim?

- Oh.
- That's some bedtime story.

- It's Kingsley Cross's new play.
- Oh, Kingsley Cross, hm?

Are you going to do it?

I don't know.

I'm not sure it's really right for me.

It's a terribly exciting play.

It's a tremendous challenge.

- Will you read it?
- Why me?

I've learned to respect your opinion.

What if I don't like it?

Well I hope you do.

All my life I've wanted a dramatic
role like this.

Jan, you don't have to go to
New York for an audience.

You've got six fans in the other room.

Seven.

Including me.

You've come to mean a lot
to me too. All of you.

Don't let this collar fool you.

Ministers fall in love, get married,
have children just like any else.

I stopped thinking of you
as an actress...

...a long time ago.

I'll read this.

Six.

Seven.

- Where's the aspirin?
- Eight. Top shelf... Nine.

Ten.

Eleven.

Do you have to do those ridiculous
exercises every night?

All right, as a special favor to you
I'll get flabby.

What's the matter, got a headache?

You know, I think next summer...

...we ought to have a vegetable garden.

Don't make any plans for next summer.

I'm not sure we're coming up here.

Just because Kingsley Cross is
a big-wheel playwrite...

...is no reason for you to start
counting on a long-run yet.

It's not the play that's bothering me.

- It's Jim.
- What's wrong with Jim.

He's in love with me.

That's bad?

Ethel, do you realize what I'm
getting into here?

It's not just Jim,
it's the children too.

The whole situation.

It's all too much for me.

Let's go back to New York
where we belong.

You just keep punching, Jan.

Maybe you can actually talk yourself
into believing that.

Believing what?

That these past few months
haven't been...

...the best thing that ever happened to you
in your whole, improbable life.

- Ethel!
- One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven...

This play breaks with the past...

...transcending also the prevalent
modern paths chosen,

which I find equally irrelevant in their
persistent search for universal verities.

It springs from a personal ethos
that I call generative nihilism.

Do you agree, darling?

Oh... yes, of course I do.
How do you feel about it, Ethel?

He lost me at lunch right after he said
"pass the potato salad".

Well, let me put it into
simple language.

A sibarite woman rebels against
the dichotomy of modern society,

and seeks her euphoria in...

...depravity.

Right, it will make a potful
at the box office.

That explains everything.

- May I come in?
- Oh, Jim.

Uh... come in, of course.

Kingsley Cross, I'd like you to meet
Reverend Larkin.

- Mr. Cross.
- I see you've been reading my play.

That's right.

Well?

Well, I've always had a grudging respect
for your work, Mr. Cross.

Even though it's offended some people
it's always had a certain honesty.

I wish I could say the same for this.

Well, I realize this is...

...pretty heady stuff for a man
of the cloth, Reverend,

but there are other days of the
week besides Sunday.

Trash is trash any day of the week,
Mr. Cross.

Jim, I asked your opinion but I didn't
ask you to be insulting.

Jan, you're an intelligent woman, but I don't
know what kind of intelligence it is...

that makes you want to play
the role of a...

a scheming, two-headed sexpot.

If this is an example of
modern theater, I...

I don't think you ought to be
part of it.

You don't think?

What he means is that if you do the play,
you see, he's got a lot to lose, right?

- That's beside the point.
- No, it's not beside the point.

These past few months have meant
a great deal to me.

But the theater means much more.

I'm sorry, Jim, but "scheming,
two-two-headed sexpots"...

...make great parts for an actress.

And no one is going to talk me
out of playing it.

I've worked too hard and too long
to wind up my career...

...as chief cook and bottle
washer in Connecticut.

Well, I guess that about covers it.

Excuse me.

Jim.

Sorry, Kingsley.

Hell, I guess I lost that first round.

Don't worry about it. She just has
to run for a while.

At her age I was just as scared
of life as she is.

Yeah.

Here come the kids.

Um... tell them I'll see them tomorrow.

And under my brilliant tutelage,

every good, healthy schizophrenic impulse
within you will surge to the surface.

Yeah... tell her about the cast
we've got lined up.

- Well...
- You've lined up the cast?

Yeah, we've had one for about a week.

Marty, you'll never change.

I got a present for you, Miss Jan.

I painted it myself.

Thank you, Sherman.

Yeah, yeah, Sherman, that's wonderful,.
Here, here, have a cigar.

Come on, kids, Jan's busy now.

Tell me what you did in school today.

Sherman, you give that cigar to me.

Um, you're not going to worry
about those kids.

I mean, Ethel's with them and we'll get
all the outside help she'll need.

What about Sonny?

Um, Sonny... We'll get him a... a doctor.
He needs a doctor,

we'll get him the best attention
money can buy.

Darling, this part will turn you from
a little song-and-dance girl...

...into one of the luminaries of
the modern stage.

Yeah, how well you say it,
how well you say it.

- Good morning, Miss Courtney.
- Good morning.

Hello, young man. We have your
room all ready for you.

It's one of the nicest ones we have.

Your own television set too.

Did you hear that, Sonny?
You're going to have a fine time here.

The doctors will work with you
every day.

And in no time at all, you're going to be
talking a mile a minute.

- Hello, Jim.
- Jan.

- What are you doing here?
- Oh, making the rounds.

Hi, Sonny. Hey, do you know what they
do here every afternoon?

They bring around a tray of chocolate milk,
ginger ale and eggnog.

And that's when I'll be around, because
I'm crazy about eggnog.

You and I'll have a ball, okay?

Hey, none of that now.

Come on.

- Is everything all right?
- Absolutely.

He's going to be just fine.

Goodbye, Sonny. It won't be long.

Come on, dear. we'll get your chart.

See you, Sonny.

It's a nice hospital.

For a hospital.

I don't know when I'll be there.
When I'm there that's when I'll be there.

All right.

- Oh, Mr. Bliss.
- Hm?

That party in Connecticut just tried
to get Miss Courtney again.

No, no... I don't want any calls
from Connecticut.

No calls from Connecticut,
do you understand?

Quigley's propably lost again,
that's all.

- Who, sir?
- Quigley, Quigley, Quigley.

- What shall I say if Mr. Quigley calls?
- He won't call, he won't call.

Now, Jan, now you laugh!

Now laugh why?

Why, darling, because you hate this man.
Life for you now is meaningless.

Why should I laugh when Jeremy
kisses me? I love him, don't I?

Love, darling? What's that?

Let's limit our discussion to
something about which we know!

Oh, I think I do know something
about love!

Relax, will you relax, son?

Take a five-minute break?

Everybody take a five-minute break.
Kingsley...

I will not countenance temperament.

You okay, kid?

I don't know what's the matter
with me.

I've never been like this before.

You want to get out of the play?

What?

Do you want to get out of the play?

No, Marty.

- I know what this play means to you.
- To us.

It's what we've been working
toward for a long time.

Is it?

Jan, this is...

We're talking about something that's
a lot more than just a play.

- Jim, what are you doing here?
- Looking for you.

Why, what's the matter,
what's wrong?

We've been trying to call you
for the last two hours...

...but your cigar-smoking friend here
wouldn't let us through.

That's right, that's right, look.

in case you don't know it, fellow,
we're trying to put on a play here.

She's got enough on her mind
without you calling every time...

...some uncoordinated thumb-sucker
spills pablum on his bib.

Look, P.T. Barnum, you stay
out of this.

I want to know how did you get in here
anyway, I ought to fire the doorman.

I didn't come down here to trade
wisecracks with you,

I came down to talk to Jan and I'm gonna
do it whether you like it or not, okay?

- Okay.
- What is it, what's happened?

Sonny's run away from the hospital.

Sonny?

Why, where would he go?

Miami, if he's got any sense.

- Get your coat...
- Wait, what do you mean, just a minute.

You're not in a pulpit. Mr. Preacher,
you happen to be in my territory.

You find the kid yourself!
Besides, what could she do anyway?

Listen, a little kid is up in Connecticut
without a home,

he might come back if he knew
she was waiting for him.

- She's an actress, not a...
- She's also a woman,

it's about time she acted like one.

Get your coat.

He's right, Marty.

- I have to go.
- Oh, now, wait a minute...

Look, I've got a lot of people
around here.

They're all sitting around,
they're on the payroll, you know.

And they're not gonna sit here while
you run off and play house in Connecticut.

Marty, I said I was sorry.

Well, I don't want to get legal about it,
but I happen to have a contract with you...

I'll get your coat!

So you're really going back with
that character, huh?

Well, I'll be around here
if you need me and...

if you decide you want to get
out of the play, that's...

that's okay with me, I...

Well, you're more important to me
than any play.

Thanks, Marty.

Well, um... see you around, kid.

Don't forget I still own half
the bird bath.

Where's your flaming star going,
for a cooling walk in the rain?

Let me put it to you this way,
Kingsley.

She's escaping from the dichotomy
of modern living...

...and she's going to seek her
euphoria in Connecticut.

It's all my fault, isn't it?

Isn't it?

That poor little guy.

None of this would have happened
if I hadn't run out on him.

I ran out on you too.

Will you forgive me?

Forgiveness is part of my job.

I stopped thinking of you as
a Minister...

...a long time ago.

- Did they find him yet?
- Not yet, honey.

- Oh...
- Don't worry.

We set up road blocks, the whole
town has pitched in.

Wait a minute, Tom's got some
news for us.

Yeah, the, uh...

nurse at the hospital said five kids and
a dog visited the boy this morning and...

after they found the boy gone
the nurse remembers...

...she never saw those kids
come out again.

Or the dog.

- They took him.
- But they didn't bring him back here.

- Or did they?
- Where are they?

Roasting popcorn.

They must be in the kitchen.

Amy!

Leo!

They're gone.

There they are.

No, wait, wait...
Let me go.

Let me talk to them alone.

All right, Jan, get going.

Leo!

Amy!

Children, are you there?

Please come out.

Children, please come out
and talk with me.

You know, children, you have
to understand that...

sometimes, even when people
love each other,

they make mistakes.

And I love you.

I love all you crazy Smiths.

I even love that lolloping
big dog of yours.

I love you.

And I want to adopt you.

And I want this to be your home.

Until you're old enough to have
homes of your own.

Will you give me another chance?

Sonny!

Are you all right?

I'll never send you away again.

No more hospitals for you.

Ever!

Absolutely.

No more lying around in bed
for Sonny.

Absolutely.

Okay!

Let's go.

Come on, kids.

Let's go home.

It's a big start for us, Jim.

We can handle it.

It's right, isn't it?

Absolutely.

Jim, what's the matter with
your voice?

I didn't say anything!

He talked.

Sonny, did you say something?

- Sonny talked!
- Say it again.

- He talked!
- What did he say?

He talked.

He talked!

I did not!

After all this time you've been
able to talk.

- Subtitles -
Lu?s Filipe Bernardes