Mutzmag (1993) - full transcript

(light mandolin music)

- [Mutzmag Voiceover] I'm
gonna tell you a story.

It's a rather scary story
but it don't end all that bad

'cause I'm still here to tell it.

My name's Mutzmag.

You don't hear tell many
people with a name like that.

My pa gave me that name.

He died when I was really little.

- You want a drink of water?

- Yeah, thank you, honey.

Thank you.



- [Woman In Background]
Mutzmag, get on in here!

- You go on, hun, they're
hollering for you.

- Ma, you look bad.

Are you doing all right?

- I'm okay honey, go on.

(water sloshing)

- [Mutzmag Voiceover] Ma was married once

before she hitched up with my Pa.

I got two half sisters
named Poll and Nance.

- Oh, not so hard, Poll.

Remember how I showed you?

- I'm trying!

- Ooh, that look awful pretty, Nance.

- Oh pash, go put some in a basin.



- See, Poll, you gotta
hold your head like this

and do your lips like she's doing.

- Nance, look at her.

- Mutzmag, you is born common.

You'll never be a lady.

- Yeah.

Me and Nance, we weren't
meant to tote and carry.

And one of these days, we're leaving here.

- But somebody's gotta help Ma!

- That's right, Mutzmag.

You're gonna do the washing.

- Don't put it on the floor.

There.

She stinks.
- Dummy.

- Yeah.

Either not there.

Poll, Nance!

There's something wrong with Ma!

(crickets chirping)

- Oh, I hurt so bad.

Lord have mercy, girls.

I believe I'm dying.

- Ma, don't die just yet.

What do we do?

- I'm gonna leave,

give youn's the house
and the cabbage patch.

And I want youn's to take good care of it.

Mutzmag honey.

I ain't got nothing left in this world

but this here case knife.

I want you to take it now,

put it in your apron pocket

and keep it with you at all times.

'Cause you can't never tell

when a pocket knife will come in handy.

(slow mandolin music)

- [Mutzmag Voiceover]
Ma died before morning.

And we buried her between
my Pa and her other old man.

It didn't seem like no time
before the winter turned cold

and the winter was coming on.

(wind blowing)

- Chocolate dipper.

Experienced, good place and good wages

for the good dipper.

Princess Confectionary.

Don't that sound good, Poll?

- Yeah.

But it says experienced.

And I only ate chocolates once.

- Well, how about this one?

Mango girls.

Apply central laundry, 2301 Carr Street.

- [Poll] Mango girl, what's that?

- [Mutzmag] It's that new ironing.

- [Nance] It's the laundry, see.

- Nance, these ads are so old.

Mutzmag, fix us something to eat.

- There ain't nothing.

- So there's nothing keeping us here.

- [Poll] Where do we go?

- To the city.

- Yeah, let's leave!

- [Poll] Who said
anything about you going?

- But I wanna come too.

- No!

- You can't go.

You're too small and nasty.

- Please don't leave
me here all by myself.

- No, you'll ruin all our
chances of finding our fortunes.

Besides, somebody's gotta stay here

and take care of the house
and the cabbage patch.

- I wanna go and you can stop me.

- Yes we can.

You ain't coming!

- No you can't, I'm going with you.

- Wait, Poll, I got an idea.

Maybe she can come after all.

Come here.

Tell you what, Mutzmag.

You run to the spring and
get some water in this,

you can come with.

- [Poll] We wanna see
if you're smart enough.

- I'll do it.

(upbeat mandolin music)

- Hurry!

Hurry!

- I'm going as fast as I can!

- Poll, Nance, I got it!

Shoot.

- [Mutzmag Voiceover] One
thing they left was Ma's

ball of string.

Ma used to say you never
knew when a ball of string

might come in handy.

(light mandolin music)

- [Poll] Nance, ain't it your turn yet?

- Just carry it down to that shed

and I'll take it from there.

I've already carried it
longer than you have.

- No you didn't, I must
have carried it over a mile.

- [Mutzmag] Nance, Poll, wait up!

- What are we going to
do with her now, Nance?

- I'll figure out something.

- I got it.

I got the water like you said.

- [Poll] I don't see no water.

- I did it, Nance.

It was easy.

I covered up the holes with moss and mud

and I put the water in and
brought it back to the house

just like you said.

- [Poll] How do we know you did it?

I don't see any.

- I did it Poll, I ain't lying.

Can I come with you now?

- [Poll] No.

- That ain't fair.

- It don't matter what we said.

- You can come, Mutzmag.

- What?

- Maybe there's some rope
there down in that shed

and we can fix some up before
we three carry it together.

Let's go.

- What are you doing?

- I got a plan.

Ooh, I'm afraid of spiders.

You go in, Mutzmag and get the rope.

(laughing)

- Nance, Poll, let me out!

- Oh don't worry, some how the day will go

and they'll let you out.

Yeah, maybe tomorrow, Mutzmag.

- Come back now!

Come back!

Come back, I'll carry your suitcase.

Come back!

(banging)

(light mandolin music)

- [Mutzmag Voiceover] Well I must have sat

in that shop house for an
hour feeling sorry for myself

and wondering how I'd get out of there

when I remembered what
had always been there

in my apron pocket.

I thought about going back to the shack

and the cabbage patch.

But I figured they
weren't met there ahead.

Even if Poll and Nance was
mean, it's better than nothing.

- [Mutzmag] Poll, Nance!

- There she is trailing after us again.

- Well Poll, we ain't got no money.

And it's getting late.

We need somewhere to stay tonight.

Why don't we tell people
she's our hired girl?

- Hired girl?

- Yes, she can carry the
suitcase and help in the kitchen

to pay for our keep.

- That's real good, Nance.

Get on up here, Mutzmag.

You can come with us.

But you gotta carry our suitcase.

- Yeah, and walk behind us
like you'se our hired girl.

- I don't know about that.

- Come on, Mutzmag.

You can wear my shoes.

- Yeah.

Hurry up before we change our minds!

Come on!

- [Mutzmag Voiceover]
It's a wonder they got

as far as they did with
that big old suitcase.

They must have had half the house in it.

It was getting kind of light and cold

when we come up on the
house down in the holler.

(goat bleating)

- Hello?

Anybody home?

- [Nance] No one, yell louder.

- Hello!

Anybody home?

We was wondering if we
could spend the night.

We got us a servant gal.

- Don't you gals know
what you're getting to?

Go on, go back where you come from.

The bones will tell.

The bones will tell.

Go back, go back before the dark comes

and the dog howls.

Go on!

Go back where you come
from and leave me be!

(light mandolin music)

- That wasn't very nice.

- Yeah, what's wrong with her?

- Come on, let's go.

- No.

- She's an old woman and she's crazy.

You wanna go back to the cabbage patch?

Let's go.

(goat bleating)

- [Mutzmag Voiceover] Maybe she was crazy

but she was scared of something.

I was sure hoping we would
find us a place to stay

before it got dark.

- [Poll] Nance, we're lost.

- We'll get there.

(eerie music)

- [Poll] It's dark.

I don't wanna freeze to death.

- [Mutzmag] Me neither.

- [Poll] Shut up, who asked you?

- [Mutzmag] I'm cold too!

- Poll, Poll, look, there's a cabin!

- Wait, wait for me!

(wind blowing)

- Go on, go open the door.

(shivering)

(dog growling and barking)

- Well, what do you have, guys?

- We're two fine ladies and
we've been traveling all day.

We're tired and hungry.

We ain't got no money.

- Tell her about the hired girl.

- But we got the best hired
girl in the whole country.

- And she'll help you pack out the ices

and take in the water and
fetch wood and keeling.

Scale the pots and pans.

- To pay for our keep, if
you can keep us tonight.

- Yeah.

We don't ever fall and turn anybody away.

Y'all come right in.

(dog growling)

Me and my daughters already ate.

They's all asleep up in the loft.

I reckon yall's hungry.

Out in the road late at night and cold.

But you all done come to the
right place, haven't you now?

Warm and cozy.

Me with this big old pot of beans

almost like I was waiting for you.

You all must not be from around here.

- No, ma'am.

We've been traveling all
day seeking our fortunes.

- Well.

- Yes ma'am, I don't know what we've done

if we hadn't run up on you.

Sure is a nice house you got here.

- Well, thank you.

You all help yourself
to some cornbread now.

- Mutzmag, you go on out
there and get some keeling

for this nice lady.

- Well, ain't that thoughtful.

Just like a lady.

- Where do you keep your firewood?

- There's some wood out back.

Now, now, he ain't gonna bite you.

You just keep your distance.

- Go on, Mutzmag.

He's on a chain.

- You get on out of here like you's told.

- Now gals, eat on up.

There's plenty more.

- [Poll] Yes Ma'am, I
don't know what we'd done

it hadn't been for you.

(dog growling)

(barking)

(dog growling)

(eerie music)

- You like that better?

- Yes, Ma'am.

- I know that's right.

- Mutzmag, you sure took your time!

We appreciate your
hospitality, right Nance?

- [Nance] Yes, it's really good.

And if you need washing or cleaning done,

you just be sure and ask
that hired girl over there

and she'll do it.

- All right.

Say, y'all give me some room now.

I got you a surprise.

Lookie here, gals.

Bet you never seen something like this.

Can you guess?

- I seen one of this
in the Sears wishbook.

- Where'd you get it from?

- My man got it for me and my daughters.

They's asleep upstairs.

Nothing's gonna wake them up.

(snickering)

Lookie here.

(somber music)

I love that tune.

Don't that just stay with you?

- I wish I had one of them.

- Well, now I guess yall's tired.

Won't you like to lay down?

Tell you what do,

you go up that ladder over there.

You can find yourself a place in the hay.

Okay, you can sleep next to my daughters.

In the morning, I'll
play this for you again.

- I sure would like that.

- Yeah, scoot, scoot, scoot.

- Yes ma'am.

We is right tired after our long journey.

Right, Nance?

Mutzmag, you bring the bags.

Come on, Nance.

- Sweet dreams, ladies.

- [Mutzmag Voiceover] We went
up next to her daughters.

tHey were snoring away
under them night caps.

We're pretty tired ourselves.

But after what I'd seen, there was no way

I was going to sleep.

And later that night I
heard something strange.

(old woman muttering)

- Teach you to pull a trick on me.

And you, fat little boy.

I had to chase you around, didn't I?

And then you's bitter.

And I spent half my molasses to get you.

(eerie music)

(dog barking in distance)

(man muttering)

- [Witch] Shh, shh.

- What?

- Listen, listen.

I got you three fat pullits in the loft!

- Uh, pullits? (chuckling)

- Listen, Toby.

Now you can't make too much noise.

'Cause you'll get them all upset.

Now what I want you to do
is you just get them down

and then I'll cook them for you.

- Cook them. (chuckling)

- No, give me that thing.

Anyways, you take these.

I got you the kind of
pullits that you like best.

You know what I mean.

The kind that wears hats, dresses.

The kind that midges and preens.

They're young too.

They just wandered in here.

They don't know nothing about us.

Can you believe it?

Out of my way!

I got to go get some water.

Now you get them down.

And when I come back,
I'll help you cut them up

and cook them.

- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

How do I know which is yorn?

It's dark up there.

- Okay, listen to me.

My girls is all wearing night caps.

Okay they's heads right by the hole.

You got it?

Be careful.

(laughing)

(snickering)

- [Mutzmag Voiceover]
Like that old witch said,

there was nothing gonna wake them up.

I don't mind telling
you I was mighty scared.

I didn't wanna be no
chalk mark on the mantle.

There was a window at the end of the loft

away from the dog.

It was high up and I didn't
know if I could get Poll

and Nance out of there.

But I have to think of something.

(breathing heavily)

(upbeat music)

- Mmm.

(dog barking)

(woman cackling)

- We'll even get the honey out.

(guy snickering)

(screaming)

You fool!

You done got the wrong ones!

You got the wrong ones!

You got all they!

(man screaming)

- Come on!

- [Poll] What's going on?

- Come on!

We gotta get out of here.

Look.

(man screaming)

(dog barking)

- Come on over here!

- The dog!

- [Mutzmag] Hurry, he's over yonder.

Come on!

- [Poll] It's so high, Nance.

- [Nance] Lookit, I'm going.

(man and old woman shouting)

(dog barking)

(upbeat mandolin music)

- [Mutzmag Voiceover] We ran
all night, and I'll tell you

by morning we was awful tired.

All we found to eat was
some half rot persimmon.

And Poll and Nance was about to give out.

- My feet hurt.

- Ooh, I'm beat.

- I'm hungry.

- Maybe we can find
another persimmon tree.

- I ain't eating any more of those.

What are we gonna do now, Nance?

Nance?

- [Mutzmag] Maybe we could try
that house that over yonder.

- Maybe they'd give us some dinner.

Come on Nance, we're gonna get
us a place to stay the night.

Yeah, let's go.

Maybe we can get something to eat.

- Don't look like no giant
or witcher woman lives there.

- [Nance] You follow behind
us like you're our hired girl.

- Just like before, we'll be the ladies.

- They probably already got hired girls.

- [Mutzmag Voiceover] I was
tired of playing the hired gal

but I decided to go along
with it one more time.

That was the biggest house I'd ever seen.

It looked like nobody'd
been on the front porch

for a long time.

And we was wondering if
anybody even lived there.

(screaming)

- What are you into doing in this yard?

- Don't shoot.

We've been on the road all night.

We're tired!

- How do I know you's aint being followed?

- We escaped from the witch
and her big man last night.

- You escaped?

- [Mutzmag] Yeah.

- And you're still alive?

- [Mutzmag] Yeah, but he tried to kill us.

- We're real hungry.

- [Wife] Oh, it's all right, honey.

I'll let them in.

- Yeah, you just come on in
and tell us all about it.

- Come on in, girls, come on.

- Well, we pretended like we were asleep.

It was real dark.

And then the giant man, he
come in about the middle

of the night and she told him to kill us.

- Oh.

They were gonna eat you.

Just like the others.

- Yeah, they sure are strangers all right.

- So we took them
nightcaps off of them gals,

put them on and laid just as still.

And that giant's hand went across our head

and feeling for them caps.

I thought we was gonna die.

- Mutzmag, get out in the
kitchen and do them dishes.

- Yeah, hush up and go.

- No, no, don't worry about that.

I'll wash them dishes for you.

- [Wife] Now go on with your story.

- Well ma'am, you ought to have seen

that witch woman light
into that giant man.

Beat him till he'd like to die.

We fixed him.

We're regular giant
killers, ain't we, Nance.

- Yeah.

- [Wife] Honey, tell
them about the reward.

- Yeah.

We are offering a thousand dollar reward.

That old giant, he stole
my knife, my horse,

my ten mile stepper.

- And that old woman, she's
worse than her old man.

- Yeah, everybody around here's
absolutely scared to death.

Why there ain't nobody
sat out on our front porch

for the last two or three years.

- Could you ones maybe go back
and get rid of them for us?

- Well.

As a matter of fact, we was
thinking of doing just that.

Weren't we, Nance?

- Right, Poll, right.

- Wait.

I got a idea.

But I'll need me a poke of salt.

- Salt?

(light mandolin music)

- [Mutzmag Voiceover] They
put us up for the night.

And I got to thinking how nice it would be

to have a place of my own someday.

- It's all right, it's all right.

You's can come on out.

Now you're sure you've
got everything you need?

- Yes sir.

- It's a fur piece.

Here's some biscuits for you.

- Thank you.

- Yes, thank you for
your kind hospitables.

- Uh, you ones be real careful.

- We will.

- Come on girls.

Say bye, honey.

- Goodbye girls.

- [Girls] Bye.

- Come on, Poll, Nance, it's this way.

- There's no way we're going
back to that witch's house.

- But we gotta help that
feller and his wife.

Besides we'll get a thousand dollars.

- Mutzmag, just what do
you think our chances are

if we go back out there?

- Me and Poll, we're gonna get a job.

We're gonna pay you to be our hired girl.

- [Poll] Are you coming or not, Mutzmag?

- I'm going this way
like we said we would.

- [Poll] You're crazy.

- Here, you'll need this.

Bye, Mutzmag.

- Bye.

- [Mutzmag Voiceover]
That was the last time

I ever saw Poll and Nance.

And you know, after all we've been through

I was kind of sad to part with them.

- Bye.

- [Mutzmag Voiceover]
But I had me a good plan

to go with that sack of salt.

I got up to the cabin
after dark and crept up

on the side away from the dog.

- All I ever get are these dang squirrels.

(banging and muttering)

Man, don't know how to provide.

These disgusting little weeny things.

- [Giant] Come on, open up, I'm hungry!

- Give me a minute.

Oh, the fool.

(wind blowing)

- [Giant] Is supper ready yet?

- Oh, I just put the meat on.

(man sniffing and snickering)

- [Giant] Oh, what's cooking, smells good.

- What do you think,
them measly squirrels.

Get back out of there!

Don't you give me no lip.

You hear me?

(snickering)

(giant man grunting and laughing)

- My supper ready, I'm hungry!

- [Witch] I told you,
it ain't half cooked!

- Cook be damned, I'm hungry now.

(grunting and laughing)

(spitting)

- What are you trying to do, poison me?

- I told you the meat was raw.

- Raw? It's too salty.

- What, are you crazy?

I only put a pinch in there.

- You must put half a bushel in there!

You give me some water.

I can't eat this without water.

- We ain't got no water in the hole, Hal.

- Well go down to the spring
and get me some water!

- It's too dark!

- Well take the light with you, here!

Go on!

- Hirsute male fool.

(man muttering)

(cackling)

(light mandolin music)

- [Mutzmag Voiceover] I
knew Ma's ball of string

would come in handy.

I just hoped it would be strong enough.

(shattering)

- Well, if it ain't the little hired gal.

You killed my daughters.

And now I'm gonna kill you.

Shh.

(witch screaming)

- [Husband] 920.

940.

- Whew, that head stinks.

- It sure does.

Let me move it.

Now where'd I get to?

- 940.

- Okay, 960.

- You did that all by yourself?

- [Husband] 980.

- You're a mighty brave little gal.

- 1,000 dollars.

There's your reward.

- Thank you.

- Uh, Mutzmag.

We's just wondered if you
might be willing to go back

and take care of that giant for us.

- I don't know about that.

- Say, dear, I told you she couldn't.

- Well what about if maybe you went back

to get our fine white horse back?

Our 10 mile stepper.

- I'll tell you what I'd do.

I'll give you another 1,000 dollar reward

if you can get that horse back for me.

- I could try.

- Tell her where the horse is at, honey.

- All right.

That giant has got that horse in a barn

way up the holler from his house.

But you got to be real careful

'cause he's got ropes all over that horse

and he's got bells all over them ropes.

So if you try and move that
horse, he can hear you.

(wind blowing)

(bells dinging)

(bells dinging)

- Shh.

- [Mutzmag Voiceover]
I brought me some oats

to keep the horse quiet.

(dog barking)

(eerie music)

(cackling)

- There you are.

I thought I heard something.

Now I got you.

- What do you aim to do with me?

- I don't know.

I just may have to kill you!

- How are you gonna do it?

- Well I haven't thought about that yet

but I'll find a way.

- Oh, please don't put me in a sack

and beat it with a club.

'Cause I'd howl like a dog.

My bones would break like dishes cracking.

My blood would run like honey.

- Oh it would, would it? (chuckling)

Well I just might have
to try it! (growling)

Oh no, I got you now.

(dog barking)

Beat it with a stick, what a good idea.

What a good idea!

(laughing and grunting)

You feel good in there, huh?

Now I'm gonna cut me a great big stick

and paddle you into little
bitty pieces. (laughing)

From head to toe (laughing)

From head to toe!

What a good idea.

Should have thought of it myself!

(ripping)

(dog barking and growling)

(grunting)

- Come and get me!

(dog growling and barking)

(dog growling)

- Ooh, I got me a big stick. (snickering)

And I got you in a sack. (laughing)

Oh I'm gonna make you howl like a dog.

(dog howling)

Make you pop like a pile
of dishes! (grunting)

Your blood's gonna flow
hot and sticky like honey!

(laughing)

(grunting)

(bells clanging)

(light mandolin music)

(water streaming)

(bells clanging)

(splashing)

(grunting and growling)

- How'd you get across?

- I skipped myself across!

- Skip myself across!

What a good idea!

I should have thought of it myself.

- There you go.

Find you a nice big rock.

Tie a rope around it, get it high.

Now get it to your neck.

Tie it around your neck.

Now pick it up, pick the rock up

and throw her in there!

Throw her in the river!

(shouting)

(splashing)

There you go.

There you go.

(light mandolin music)

- [Mutzmag Voiceover] Well those old boats

are mighty glad to get rid of that giant

and get their horse back to boot.

They told me, if I hadn't come along,

they'd have never been
able to sit outside again.

- [Mutzmag] Hey!

Nice day, ain't it?

- [Mutzmag Voiceover]
With the reward money

I built me a house right across the way

and settled in.

That's the end of my story.

- If you ever need anything
or you're having trouble

with a giant or witcher
woman, just come on down.

My name's Mutzmag.

(light mandolin music)