Mutant Action (1993) - full transcript
In a future world ruled by good-looking people, a terrorist group of mutants led by Ramon Yarritu kidnap the daughter of Orujo, a rich businessman, to claim for the rights of the ugly people. Escaping from the police in their spaceship, Ramon try to kill his gang in order to get all the ransom. The trip ends abruptly when they crash in Axturiax, the planet of the crazy miners where no woman lives.
Ahhh!
Ahhh! Ahhh! Ahhh!
It's only for today, damn it!
Hey, what are you doing?
You, stop moving so much!
Lets put a bag over his head!
Before he starts to scream
as they always do!
Mmm mmm...
That comes later! First we have
to put a bag over his head!
- He's choking, eh!
- He's going to suffocate!!
I will strangle you,
you fucking midget!!
It fits perfectly.
He's moving less and less.
He's getting tired!
We've been on him for half an hour!
I don't think he can breathe...
Because of the bag, and the fruit.
Shut up, you wimp!
Like this is your first kidnapping!
Move him a little M.A.
Look at his condition,
it's not worth taking him.
We won't be able to cover
our costs with the ransom.
Alright, we'll dump him.
He's dead isn't he?
Alright, let's go.
Always the same story!
Let's go, Let's go!
Come on! God damn it!
Now we're in a hurry huh?
Wait up!
This morning, at 5 o'clock A.M.,
Matias Pons, the President
of the National Cultural Federation,
had been murdered in strange circumstances.
It looks like this was
an attempt of kidnapping...
The police think that
the doers of these vile actions,
are the known terrorist gang...
Mutant Action.
Theme.
Acci?n, venganza,
violencia, progreso.
Armados a conciencia
asumimos el reto.
Vengaremos a las v?ctimas
del monte Taigeto.
Justicia ciega, justicia en braille.
Para feos y mutilados
ha empezado ya este baile.
Empalamos culturistas,
quemamos gimnasios.
En la sauna se cuecen:
Son gusanos.
Somos peligrosos,
somos guerrilleros,
terroristas diletantes,
tiembla mientras puedas,
esto no es un juego:
Es Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Haz como Johnny y coge el fusil.
Haz como Johnny y coge el fusil.
Mataremos guaperas con o sin ti.
Empu?a las armas,
vivan los mu?ones,
pr?tesis en alto,
m?s amputaciones.
IAy, qu? da?o!
El Capit?n Silver
y Zarpa de Acero...
iNo siento las piernas!
...nos ven orgullosos
siguiendo sus pasos.
IQue no, que no veo!
Engrasa tu silla, afila tu muleta,
cambia los cupones
por la metralleta.
Rompe tus cadenas,
ya no hay rejas,
es la hora del miedo
y de la paraplejia.
Somos peligrosos,
somos guerrilleros.
Terroristas diletantes,
tiembla mientras puedas,
esto no es un juego:
Es Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Since 10 years ago, when the
terrorist group Mutant Action was formed,
numerous assassinations were purportrated,
by this group of criminals.
So far, their targets were people renown for their good looks,
establishments involved with public health and sperm banks.
Establishments involved with
public health and sperm banks.
And... one, two, one, two.
And now, the most important thing.
Suckers!
Get them, Get them!
Ha, ha, ha!
The members are identified as
Alex and Juan Abadie,
Siamese twins,
C?sar Ravenstein, a.k. A Quimicefa,
known in the world of criminal
by always wearing
5kg of explosives strapped around his waist.
Jos? Oscar Teller?a, a.k. A Manitas,
the groups engineer.
He was arrested more than 50 times.
We caught one of the arrests on tape.
Freeze! Police!
Drop those cases!
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say could and will be
used against you in a court of law.
You have the right to an attorney.
Amancio Gonz?lez, a.k. A M.A.,
deaf from birth
with the lowest I.Q.
On the planet
and a man of extraordinary strength.
Y Jos? Montero, a.k. A Chepa,
a hunchback midget,
jew, freemason, communist,
allegedly homosexual.
The police sources
are pointing out the relation
between this last assassination
and the eminent release
after spending this last 5 years in prison
for illegal possession of firearms.
Tomorrow, the halls of the Orujo family,
the owners of the world known,
bakery Orujo,
will be prepared to host the wedding
of Patricia Orujo,
the only daughter and heiress
of the Orujo empire,
with Luis Mar?a de Ostolaza.
Yarritu!
Get the fuck out of here!
Let's go!
It must have been tough, being
locked up all this time, huh boss?
Nah.
The television is a lot of fun,
especially the news.
Freeze! Police!
Drop the spray!
Drop the spray!
I wanted to clean up a little,
but you know... with all the hurry...
What's up with the computer?
The hard drive is fucked up,
I don't know what's wrong with it.
You couldn't collect the laundry?
- And my tuxedo?
- In your room, Ram?n. Impeccable.
- And the guns?
- We just need to grease them up.
This is the cake?
Yes, OK,
without the cream and the cherries...
We have to..?...it.
We've got five minutes before we get out.
I want this cake to be perfect!
Let's see if you know
exactly what the plan is.
Manitas, feed the cat!
Do you think he's angry?
It's possible that he knows nothing.
Don't you think he'll find out?
The news was on every television.
They've put him in a bad mood.
As we fucked up,
they want to everybody to know.
Mmm mmm...
M.A. Says that it went wrong
because we didn't think the plan through,
that we have to do it again.
Cause' without a good plan,
things don't go as they should.
Ah! We need a guy with some guts
who has balls in the right spot.
If not, it's chaos.
God damn it man, what are you doing,
what are you doing?!
Stop it, stop it, stop it!
Let me do it!
Shit!
For fucks sake where did you
plug in this thing?
Let's try it this way,
Let's try I...
This tubes are the brake hydraulics,
god damn it!
You fucked up everything!
Danger! Danger!
What did I tell you, huh?
That we ask you,
before touching anything.
Now move your fuckin butt and fix this!
The ship could explode!
I don't give a shit...
Alright!
Let's try to concentrate on the plan.
O.K.
We enter here with the truck.
There are two guards here.
We pass them like we brought the cake...
There won't be any problems, huh?
We've got 15 minutes to get out of there
before the real truck with the cake arrives.
This is the back entrance.
And if we try to get out here?
It would be fast as well.
Shut up!
Looks like you're thinking
a lot these days.
No, I just thought as there
are two guards here...
I bet you organized the last kidnapping!?
Or no one did?
You just went there to make a mess,
and give away oranges.
- No, it wasn't like that, Ram?n.
Then how?
We did our best. He just died.
- We had bad luck.
- Right.
- And what was with the plastic surgeon?
- That was different.
It was he who got nervous
and jumped out of the car.
What about the fashion show?
50kg of explosives that blew up
one hour after everyone walked out.
If you wanted to make an impression...
You've made it.
5 years I've spent,
watching you clowns on television,
making fools of yourself on the news.
It wasn't like that?
It wasn't like that?
Who do you think you are?
Did you forget the three great questions?
What were you when I found you?
We were garbage,
hospital waste!
Who pulled you out of the gutter
and made you what you are today?
- You, Ram?n!
- And what are you now?
Mutants, Mutants, Mutants!
We are the soldiers of the Mutant army,
and we'll win the war!
The society treated us like shit
and now we're gonna kick them in the ass!
The world is dominated by cute
little babies, and daddies munchkins.
God!
Enough with the 'light' shit!
Enough with the aftershave,
enough with car commercials,
of mineral water!
We don't want to smell good,!
We don't want to get thin!
No!
We just want to stay ourselves:
The whole world is either dumb or stylish.
Yes!
We are mutants, not fucking beach pijos?
Neither god damn?
Yeah!
And now we're gonna show them shitheads,
the meaning of the word terrorism.
- Look, there's Cuqui with that girl.
- Did you see her face?
I bet she drinks and takes drugs.
Vaya pareja, porque lo que es ella
tambi?n se pone bien.
- I've been told, she does drugs to.
- Really?
Yes, Gusi and Tato told me,
they're getting high as well.
Vaya pincho de mierda!
The brides dress looks like its a rental.
It looks like something her
mother made, god rest her soul.
The grooms tuxedo looks like it was
printed, but when you get a closer look,
you realize it's full of grease spots.
How are you tonight!?
The party is so charming!
You look like a movie star, darling!
Where did you get this great dress?
Rubbish!
You've made me the happiest man on earth.
I wish your mother could be here.
Don't cry daddy! I'm so happy...
Uh!
We brought the cake.
- All of you brought this cake?
- It's... It's big.
Through here.
One moment... Just two.
Well, we'll just wait here
until they come back, OK?
There's a lot of us,
and with all the fuss in there...
Looks like they're late.
Will we have any problems with the cake?
We should enter and check it out.
Alright, guys.
I know you're not programmed
to let us through,
but I know also it must suck to
stand here all day
and not get anything in return.
Maybe you would consider ignoring the program
and let us in.
?What do you say?
M.A., tell these gentlemen
we need to get in.
Like we agreed,
try to get in without notice,
and mingle with the crowd.
Proceed.
Here we go!
Through here.
...cuando la vi ella sonri?.
Mis ojos vieron todo el amor.
Me gusta.
A su lado yo corr?
y la invit?.
Noche feliz...
yo me enamor?.
Mi coraz?n...
How many bakers,
and they're all wearing tuxedos.
I've got a feeling this night
will be unforgettable.
Keep stirring, god damn it!
- Is this great or what!?
- Mmm mmm...
Dice que si no hay m?s pollo.
Now listen, so everything's clear.
O.K.
When the bride cuts the cake,
play the 'Aires de Fiesta'
de Karina on the jukebox.
Aires de fiesta,
los chicos y las chicas...
radiantes de feli...
Chepa, this will be the sign
that you jump out,
- and drug the girl with chloroform.
- Got it.
Your job is, to kill the lights,
so I can grab the girl and we get out.
Got it, I turn off the lights.
Alright.
No, you set the music on the jukebox.
- And then I turn off the lights.
- No, M.A. Turns the lights off.
- You stand guard.
- You didn't say nothing about that.
Well I'm telling you now:
You stand guard.
What about me, Ram?n?
I stand guard to?
No, you're going to set the music
on the jukebox with your brother.
- Everything clear?
- So...,
when the lights go out,
I go after the girl.
No, no!
When the song starts playing!
- The song is the signal!
- Right, when the music starts.
You won't be able to see
if the lights go out. Right?
Alright, enough!
Let's just do it!
- Alright, give me a coin.
- I don't have any money!
- What do you mean,
you don't have any money?
- I don't have it.
How was I supposed to know
we were going shopping.
Come on, stop fucking around. Give me a coin,
come on. Give me a coin
I swear I don't have it!
I'm a rebel because the world
made me this way,
because no one
treated me with love...
No, it isn't that one...
How does it go?
Fuck!
I'll see you later, OK?
Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Aires de fiesta,
los chicos y chicas...
radiantes de felicidad.
Aires de fiesta
a tiempo de marcha, parapap?.
I pronounce you...
I pronounce you...
I pronounce you...
I pronounce you...
- Todos a coro, cantando
con fuerza parapap?.
Vamos decididos
a pasar este d?a
con gran alegr?a,
con buen humor.
La gente sonr?e
cuando ve que pasamos...
I pronounce you...
I pronounce you...
I pronounce you...
I pronounce you...
I pronounce you...
Aires de fiesta,
los chicos y chicas...
radiantes de felicidad.
Aires de fiesta
a tiempo de marcha, parapap?.
Let's go.
Buah!
Buah... Buah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Shut up! Damn it!
Don't move!
Let's go, we have to get out of here!
Get back!
M.A., without second thought.
Freeze! Police! Drop your weapons
and you won't get hurt!
Ah!
Don't get fooled by the tape,
you moron.
You may think I?m in prison,
you poor bastard,
but I'm not. Not anymore.
Yes, yes, you heard it right.
If everything went right,
I'll be in this very moment
that you're watching this video
on my way to the planet Axturias...
with your daughter, you fuck!
Motherfucker!
I'm going to fuck you up!
Father, relax,
it's only a video.
If we don't watch it carefully,
we won't hear the ransom conditions.
It's better you remain calm
or you won't hear the ransom conditions.
I will explain them to you now,
and you will understand them perfectly.
I want 100 million in used bills,
in an antifusion suitcase.
Simple, ?huh?
The meeting point will be at
the Lost Mine Bar in the devil valley,
on the planet Axturias.
Alright..., I know you are one stupid fuck,
but I don't think you're stupid
enough to call the police.
Because if you do,
your daughter will loose
more than just her virginity.
We will met two days after
you receive this video.
Hala, to cracking it!
I swear you're going to pay for this.
Be wherever you may be!
Fucking terrorist!
Our number, eh...,
of identification is...
477337/7.
Fishing ship Virgen del Carmen.
- Number of crew?
- One at your service.
This heavy computer presents
almost all the weight...
Cargo?
Frozen fish,
codfish sweets, eh...,
lobster tails and stuff like that.
And where are you headed?
We're bound for Gam?nedes,
that stuff sells good there.
Uf, especially the crab.
Alright, now look carefully.
Do you know this man?
Damn, he looks familiar.
Was he on television?
I watch a lot of television.
There's only this computer here, so...
Off course he was on the news. He's a terrorist
and he is supposed to be here somewhere.
Now that you've mentioned it,
so it happens,
a while ago,
a strange light cruise ship passed by,
?Could you tell me what direction it went?
Well, I think...
about 15 degrees
north-northeast coaxial alfa nine,
but I?m really not sure,
I really can't say,
so don't take my word for it...
Alright. You may proceed,
but don't go off your course!
Deal!
Man, three times we've passed this checkpoints
with the number of the fishing boat.
I'm not doing it the next time!
I have a police record to!
They're going to recognize me with
the cap and everything, damn it.
How did it go?
Eh? Very good, Ram?n.
They've bought it again.
Remain on course until we reach G-7.
You got it!
Connect the secondary turbine conductors
and make a 45 degree turn...
What did he say?
What did he say?
- Do you know what he said?
- I don't know. You heard it.
Whatever. Dinner is ready.
?When do I have to turn?
Again this shit.
Since the kidnapping we haven't
eaten nothing but this fucking
crab tails.
Give me two.
You can eat the cat food if you want.
- Speak.
- I go with 50.000.
I see you...
and I raise you 50.000.
Tomorrow, when we get the 10 million
from the ransom
you can eat whatever you want.
I see you 50.000 and raise you 50.000.
You're not bluffing again, are you?
I hope you know that we're playing
for our parts of the ransom money
not for these tails here.
Look, we'll play as we want to.
I see you 50 and raise you 100.000
- Pass me the can.
- Are you sure?
I'm not too sure about this.
Look, I don't want to be boring,
but you've lost...
2.400.000 ecus so far.
That means if you lose this game,
you only have 10 thousand left.
What do you mean 10.000?
What about his part?
What part?
You two are one part!
Half and half, one part!
Ten million by four...
Two and a half million.
Alright...
We'll make four parts.
Is the dinner ready?
If we get one part, he get's half.
Where is the remote?
Where did you hide the remote!?
Mmm... Mmm...
Now fuck yourselves!
Take the remote from him!
Come on, give me the remote.
We always watch what you want.
Give me the remote!
Give me the god damned remote!
- I've had it!
- Now.
One of this days, I'm going
to explode, you hear me?!
?What happens if I explode, eh?
If I explode, what then?
The daughter of the industrialist
J.M. Orujo is still missing...
Hey, look, you're on television, hehe!
Known worldwide for their pastry...
specialized in manufacturing
the famous Orujo rolls.
The famous Orujo rolls.
The police sources think
that the known terrorist gang
Mutant Action is behind this crime.
Oeoeoeoeeee!
Oeoee!
This one turned out alright,
didn't it?
Patricia Orujo was kidnapped
on the very day of her wedding
by this terrorist group,
again leaving a terrible massacre behind.
Between the bodies there were identified:
Jos? Montero, a.k. A Chepa,
and Amancio Gonz?lez, a.k. A M.A.,
responsible, among other,
for assassination of culturist
Muscles de Elche and the recent
assassination of Mat?as Pons.
This just in,
thanks to the family of the victim,
we now know the exact amount demanded
for the release of Patricia Orujo.
100 million ecus.
The trade will take place
tomorrow on the planet of Axturias,
in the Gutemberg galaxy.
This is what happened...
How much did he say?
Did he say 100 million,
or did I misunderstand?
No, no, no. Not 100.
Ram?n said 10.
There must have been a mistake.
Are you sure he said 100?
Ram?n did the negotiating.
He said he demanded 10 million.
If he demanded 100 and we get 10, then...
What is it now?
Again the brake fluids?
No, the brake fluids are o.k.
It's something else...
we were watching the television
the news were on...
- They talked about the kidnapping.
- And?
Well nothing,
just... looks like...
You didn't tell us that the family
is going to pay 100 million.
100 million what?
100 million ecus,
the guy on the news said it loud and clear.
100 mill.
You told us 10.
So I said 10
and the guy on the television said 100, huh?
We don't want you to think,
that we are saying,
that you might be lying or anything like that.
It's alright. I get it now.
All this years for nothing.
All this years I've fought for you
I gave you everything.
And now you think,
that I?m a dirty thief,
and a fucking traitor, is that it!?
No, it's not like that!
- No, Ram?n, it's not that.
- We always trusted you.
All we want is an explanation.
How can you be so naive?
You watch the news and you believe it.
You don't realize, you dumb fucks,
that that is precisely what they want!?
We start doubting ourselves!
And we end up killing each other
and solve their problem.
What did I tell you, huh?
100 million!
Ha, ha, ha!
They could have said one thousand easily.
- Or whatever.
- Or two?
Alright, the important thing is,
that tomorrow
we get the 10 million. Real ones.
We have to be prepared for the transfer.
Stop screwing around,
everything has to go perfect,
as we planned it!
Did you check
the refractant turboprocessors?
The turboprocessors of the
atom module chamber?
- No, the other ones.
- No, that ones, no.
Well, get to it.
Quimicefa, confirm
the sections of the automatic circuits.
I already confirmed them, this morning.
- Did you grease them up?
- No, that no...
That?s bad. They must be greased up.
Tomorrow will be the most
important day of our lives,
and we have to prepare ourselves.
Let's see, what were you when I found you?
We were garbage. Hospital waste!
Who pulled you out of the gutter
and made you what you are today?
- You, Ram?n!
- What are you?
Mutants, mutants,
mutants, mutants!
Mutants, mutants, mutants!
You know... I always do what I'm told,
and I newer complain,
but I don't understand
why do we have to do the same
things that we did this morning.
Shut your pie hole!
If Ramon says we have to check
the turbocompresors,
we'll check them, and that?s final.
Don't you start any troubles now.
And besides, we checked
the ones of the atom
module chamber and Ramon says
to check the others.
O.K., and where are those others?
- You don't know where they are?
- No, you?
Manitas,
I think we have to figure out a way
so that this kind of misunderstandings
don't happen again.
Yes, damn it. I think it would be
great to have more information,
on how the bookkeeping
of this enterprise is run, huh?
I totally agree.
Even more. Now that we've lost Chepa,
you could be in charge of the
administration and the bookkeeping of ransoms.
Really? Thank you!
I can't believe it!
Me the accountant?!
?Do you really mean it?
No, not really.
Ahg!
Ahg! Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Mmm!
Ahg!
Mmm! Mmm!
Ah!
How do these turbocompresors even look like?
How do they look like?
How do they look like?
You just look and when we find them
I'll tell you what they look like!
Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Did you hear a scream?
Yes, that would be the
turbocompresors calling us.
It's eating me!
Ah!
This time it was a scream.
Let's go!
Get me out of here!
Get me out of here!
It's eating me!
Mmm! Mmm!
Get me out! Get me out!
Ah!
Ah!
Manitas!
Be still!
Don't just stand here looking, do something!
You do it, sucker!
Manitas!
Don't move I'll give you a hand!
My god, Manitas!
Get out of the way!
Move!
Manitas, Manitas! God!
Alright, guys.
This confirms my suspicions.
I didn't tell you nothing so far,
because I wasn't sure.
- But you see the obvious.
- What?
Manitas was clever
and knew what was going on.
And for that he was murdered.
Guys, we have a traitor amongst ourselves.
How are we going to make him out?
We have to stay united.
That way the traitor will give
him self up alone.
- Why? I don't understand.
- Shut up! Go on, Ram?n.
In a few hours we'll be getting
to our rendezvous point...
We'll let him make the first move.
But if the traitor is amongst us
he'll hear everything, and...
- Do you have a better idea?
- No, I think it's great,
I'm just, not to sure about...
Listen, why are you asking so many questions?
And if I inspect your laboratory?
Brrrpp!
Don't jump to conclusions,
violence won't solve anything.
- That's true.
- Everyone back to their rooms.
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm!
It wasn't me.
You have to believe me.
You neither, because you're not
capable of anything without me.
That leaves Ram?n and Quimicefa.
Who are we going to trust?
Poor Manitas!
We have to get something straight.
- Everything is straight.
- I don't think so.
If you remember,
when Ram?n entered...
When he entered, nothing!!!
If you have something to say
why didn't you say it earlier?
- Let him speak, huh?
- You shut up!
You think you're so smart, don't you!
Looks like you've got it all figured out.
More than you might think.
- You're probably feeling guilty.
- I think you're probably feeling guilty.
Why don't you just explode and leave us be?
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm!
Damn!
- Aren't we going to sleep?
- Shut up!
Do you want to wake up
with a bullet in your head?
- I don't trust nobody one bit.
- Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
Alright, then you stand guard?
Wake me if something happens, O. K?
What's wrong with you?
Is something the matter?
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
Because, if something?s wrong
you can tell me.
Mmm! Mmm!
You know you're here like a guest...
- Mmm! Mmm!
- Are you hungry?
Cold... Are you cold?
You're sitting here half naked.
If you catch something,
what is your father going to say?
We didn't have the chance
to talk peacefully.
I'm sorry about your wedding,
I really am,
but you know how things are.
When you're shooting all around, and you
don't know how you're going to get out...
I'm very sorry, really.
I know it's no comfort, but your
boyfriend was no good, you know.
He was after your money, Patricia.
It obvious.
In time you'll see we did you a favor.
I'm sure... Now because of this,
you'll find someone better.
Someone who'll really love you,
for you, for...
for what you are...
not for your daddy?s millions...
someone who'll know how to take care of you...
I know, I know, I know...
You're feeling uncomfortable,
surrounded by strangers, miles away
from your home, from your friends...
But we could become good friends, right?
I'm going to have some money now, and...
who knows...
Is it time? What time it is?
Were you listening?
You're a pig, you hear me?
You're always hanging around,
always watching me!
Get the fuck out of here!
Go, go!
And you! Watch yourself if you
want to get out of here alive!
Let's go!
Mmm!
Quimicefa, there's something
I have to tell you.
Don't get up,
it won't take long.
I didn't want the others to know.
This is between you and me.
- Did you discover who the traitor is?
- Yes...
It's me. How bout that, huh!?
Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Mmm!
It's Quimicefa!
We have to knock down the door!
There's nothing left. Just this.
Well, and this.
Fortunately, he was alone,
locked in his room.
If he weren't...
We would all blow up.
- He killed himself!
- What?
- Why would he kill himself?
- Why?
Because Quimicefa was our traitor.
Oh yeah, that's why he was asking
so many questions, that fucker.
?What does that have to do
with him killing himself?
Shut up, you freak!
He killed himself out of remorse.
No, he killed himself
because he was loosing it.
He knew you didn't trust him.
That's right,
you remember how he was?
Oh yeah... yeah...
Alright, we solved the problem, huh?
Tomorrow we collect the 10 mill
and we split it three ways!
Oh that's great!
Now that there's no more danger,
we can relax in peace.
We better go to bed.
Tomorrow is going to be a tough day.
Ah!
I can explain everything.
He wanted to kill you.
He told me that many times.
He was always in your way, Alex.
He was like a nightmare,
always following you everywhere.
?You realize that, huh?
You're finally free of him!
Now you can get an operation
with that 5 mill, ?eh?
And you'll get him off your back forever.
Ah!
Alright, it's true.
It's 100 million.
50 for each.
You can't say that I didn't think of you, eh?
Ah! Ah!
Damn!
Don't ruin what could become
the beginning of a great friendship, huh?
You and me against the world, Alex!
We could call ourselves...
"The two from space", eh?
What do you think?
You're finished...
without me. You hear me?
You're nothing more than a genetic flaw.
And an idiot.
You don't know how to steer the ship!
If you kill me you'll wonder
in space until you rot, you imbecile.
Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm!
Get up!
No offense taken, ?eh?
Stop screwing around, you fuck.
Get up, or I'll blow away
what's left of your face!
Alright, alright, whatever you say...
Although it would be better if you'd
give it some thought first, huh?
Ah!
Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Danger!
Danger!
Danger!
Danger!
Danger!
Uha!
Danger!
100 million divided by one
is 100 million, right?
This didn't turn out so bad after all.
I will meet your father in a couple of hours
so we can discuss the money.
I have to clean myself up a little,
or else, what's your father going
to say if he sees me like this?
What was I when my mother gave birth to me?
Number one, the best!
Who made me the man I am today?
Me! With no help from anybody.
And what am I?
I'm the fucking master!
You should get cleaned up a bit to, eh?
Uh!
Uh!
Uh!
Uh! Shit!
Fucking shit!
There Orujo.
It's over.
- Are you sure?
- I'm 98% sure.
- Not good enough, we have to check it out.
- So, we proceed with the plan?
Absolutely.
Maintain course to Axturias.
On command...
But it is impossible that
they have survived the crash.
Uh!
- Ram?n.
- What?
I think I was having a dream.
Really?
How interesting!
Alright, let's see...
I think we landed somewhere around here.
And now we should be here, yeah.
I was to be married,
but it went wrong and I killed a hunchback.
Than I was on this ship,
and I couldn't speak.
Mmm!
Alright, the rendezvous point
should be here somewhere... Here, yes.
After that everything just went crazy...
Somebody tried to kill you,
but I couldn't do anything to stop him.
It wasn't a dream.
It all happened, yesterday.
Yes I've thought...,
but it's as if...
- What are you doing?
- I'm tying you up.
Do you think we should kill my father?
Oh, no, not the Stockholm syndrome again.
- Not today, ?eh?
- What?
Shut up! We're leaving!
It's four o'clock, we've got five hours
to get to the lost mine.
Ay!
Ay!
Ah!
Ah!
Get away!
Ah!
Dear god, what is this?
Two dying guys sharing a shoulder.
- I'm not so sure about this, Orujo.
- What's wrong now?
We could have problems
transporting the material.
Don't start with that. We're going
to finish what we've started.
It's very unstable.
This terrain is very difficult to cross.
It could be too dangerous.
This is not a game,
?you hear me?
I'm going to finish this,
if it's the last thing I do.
The intellectual oppression
of the minorities is obvious, Ay!
The media are hiding the truth
in the interest, ay!
Of the powerful.
It's amazing to what length
the system will go to drive you crazy.
Ay!
We should be around here somewhere.
Unless we exploded more due south.
Take me for example.
21 years lost, living a life,
that wasn't my real life,
alienated.
Ay!
- We should be...
- And my father?
He thought he could buy my love
and he bought me a pink pony.
I wish we had a pink pony right now...
That's why I admire you, Ram?n,
you don't get deceived.
You know we have to react and point out
all the flaws of the system.
Destroy it,
so we can build another one
from scratch, a new world, fair,
where mutilations
will make us equal
and where beauty doesn't mean anything,
only the personality.
Look, Patricia,
don't make things more difficult.
You were bad enough this morning
and this sun is making you even worse.
I don't think you're taking me seriously.
Listen!
We blew up,
I don't know where the fuck we are
and we don't have any water.
I'm tired, I'm hungry
and I've got a headache.
So just walk
and don't annoy me anymore.
Ram?n, you are so strong.
Well, I can't do much more right now,
but at least he won't decompose for now.
- He smells a little bit!
- It's the acids I?ve put on him.
When the flesh is that badly rotten
they react and smell that way,
you'll get used to it.
You have to get him off of your
back as soon as possible,
son, you could catch gangrene.
What do you think?
He looks like a doll.
I'll fix it.
You gave us quite a scare this morning.
I thought it was the crazy miners,
they would kill anything, just for fun.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yes, they are very dangerous.
The gas from the mines makes them crazy.
One things for sure, they enjoy it.
Do you know where the lost mine bar is?
Which? The Garcia bar?
It's not what it used to be.
Since they've reduced
the prices of carbon on Earth,
they haven't stopped firing miners.
- Could you show me the way?
- Why such a hurry?
Stay here for a couple of days,
get some rest
and we'll finish dissecting your brother.
I have a meeting there,
a meeting I can't miss.
A score you have to settle?
Yes, that's it!
There's a woman involved to.
- A woman!
- Yes, that's right.
You mean there's going to be a woman
in the Garcia bar?
I'm sure of it, that fucker will bring
her there, stupid as he is.
My god!
Maybe I'll even see her!
Quick, we have no time to lose.
Let's go, let's go!
I'll make us some sandwiches
and we'll leave as soon as possible.
What's got into you now, eh?
Don't you understand, moron?
There's no women on Axturias!
You know, Ram?n?
I think I know what's troubling you.
Man, there's gotta be an
easier way to make money.
You're feeling bad because
you killed all of your friends,
and that's no small thing.
Sometimes you
have to do some things,
even if you don't want to.
And if someone is in your way,
you have to deal with him, period.
And move on.
I know it's tough.
You're tired and depressed.
You feel like everything
you did was in vain.
Everybody hates you.
You hate yourself to, eh?
Isn't it so, Ram?n?
Are you listening to me?
Tell me!
Ah!
Relax, eh?
Let's not ruin everything now.
You're a professional.
You can handle this.
Let's not lose our head now,
and ruin years of work.
I know what I said angers you...
No, What angers me is that
I don't have a stapler with me.
Was it because I said you
are depressed. Huh, Ram?n?
Listen to me good, Patricia,
I will tell you this just this once.
If you start talking about
what?s troubling me,
I will cut your feet off. I'll only get
half of the money, but I'll keep my nerves.
Do you understand, eh? O.K.
Shit!
- Ah!
- Ah!
Why does everything
have to get so complicated?
Where did you come from, ?eh?
Just what I needed, an idiot.
Stop it, damn!
Alright, where do you live?
Where do you live?
Where do you live?
There, huh?
- Have you found the ship?
- Yes, or something like ti.
There aren't any signs of life.
It's possible they died at the landing.
No, they're here.
I can smell them...
Quickly, we have to get
to the rendezvous point
before nightfall.
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
I thought we'll never see anyone.
We have been walking for a whole day...
We had an accident,
about 30 kilometers from here.
The truth is we don't know where we are.
We are looking for a bar that...
Ha, ha, ha!
Good day...
Shut up, damn it!
There's a woman outside.
I told you not to be on the sun too long.
- It's bad for you.
- No, it's true grandpa.
- And there's a guy, who wants water.
Leave the kid alone.
You always pick on him cause his little.
He's on the porch playing with the dog.
Hi, what's up?
I was just telling the guys
that we had an accident and...
The story began with
the problem of 100 million.
We didn't know exactly
if there were 10 or 100 million.
Yes I saw it on television.
I don't know if you...
No, I don't think you've seen it.
- I mustn't watch the television.
- On the news.
That's how the problem started.
- So, he killed all of you?
- One by one, slowly.
He's smart and very tough.
And he doesn't have any prejudices.
- A winner.
- I wouldn't say that.
- Let's just say he got lucky.
- Luck always runs
out my friend.
- Are you talking to me?
- No, man. I mean him.
He was my best friend and today
I'm going to kill him.
- The money ruins everything.
- And women to.
Yeah, women also ruin a lot.
More throws hair of co?o that car of oxen.
But... Do you love her?
Man, I... I don't know.
With my brother always around,
it wasn't easy being alone with a woman.
So you have never...
Never what?
You never said anything to Patricia.
Ah, no, she doesn't know anything yet.
Let's hope nothing bad happens to her.
So you want to know
How to get to the Garcia bar?
Yes, It's easy, if you know the way.
Eat, eat all you want, darling.
No, I haven't much of an appetite.
There's enough food here,
what's missing is someone
to cook it... Ha, ha, ha!
There's not a lot of women
around here, you know?
Imagine, my nephews have never
seen one like this before... In flesh.
What do you think?
Cute kid.
How old is he?
10 I think.
You must excuse him,
I don't let him to talk to strangers.
And his mother?
The poor thing died when
the kids were still very little.
She was a nice woman.
We bought her in a colony in the valley.
But to tell the truth,
she wasn't very resistant.
You know how delicate women are.
Ha, ha, ha!
He, he, he!
Ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Sell her to me.
I will give you everything I got.
- She is worth 100 million.
- What have you heard?
He said 100 million!
Ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Alright, alright!
I'll give you 200.000 ecus and 200 videos,
that's everything I have.
Forget it, she's not for sale.
Ram?n, let's get out of here,
I have a strange feeling.
It's O.K.
Looks like we wont
be able to convince you.
- Zacar?as, go to your room.
- But, ?why?
- Let me stay a little longer!
- I said, go to your room.
We're gonna kill this gentlemen.
Alright, alright.
It would be a shame to ruin the dinner.
We're all civilized here, ?huh?
Let's work something out.
How about I rent her?
It would only take one hour.
Remember you don't know
how to get to Garcia bar.
After all, ?what's one hour?
Nothing! ?What do you think?
No deal. I don't have the time
and I don't like videos.
I'm very sorry.
Some other time.
Patricia, let's go,
we have a date with your father.
You can sit down.
What are you doing?
Leave that and let's go!
Ah!
Tie him up tightly!
Zacar?as, go get my shaving machine!
Chicos, guys you don't know
what good time we'll have!
Under this tree I declared love
to a woman, who was to be my wife,
20 years ago.
- And did you love her?
- Did I love her?
Off course I loved her.
She was a nice woman.
We bought her in a colony
in the valley.
But to tell the truth,
she wasn't very resistant.
You know how delicate women are,
he, he!
It makes me sick just thinking
that she's with him.
Stop thinking about that.
You'll have your revenge
in a couple of hours,
and the girl.
That's the idea, right?
Yes, that's the idea.
It's just...
- What?
- I don't know.
And if anything goes wrong?
Why would anything go wrong?
I don't know, but it every time does.
Alright, until now.
Relax, everything will go perfectly.
For the first time you're alone,
no family and no bosses.
And plus you've met this girl.
What more do you want?
I didn't look at it this way...
Do you think a girl like that
could fall in love with someone like me?
Off course! Why not?
A woman is a mystery...
At least that's what they say...
This time you have to do it,
with determination,
without beating around the bush,
get right to the point...
And if it goes wrong...
The important thing is to participate.
Don't they say that to?
Look, first you kiss her
and then we'll see.
- I won't know what to say to her.
Look, I'm going to give you
an advise about women
that you'll never forget.
The crazy miners!
Run, you moron!
Ah!
Ah! Oh! Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Ah! Oh... Oh!
Shut up already!
- What nerve.
- Quita, co?o.
She hit me.
I'll go first and I'll explain
to you how it's done.
You just watch your grandpa do it.
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Aren't you going?
Grandpa, grandpa,
I want to go to.
Alright, son, just close the door...
from the outside.
Ah!
They want her for herself, ?eh?
They're having all the fun in there
and you out here getting bored, eh?
We could be friends.
I know a lot of games.
Why don't you untie me
and I will show you some?
No, no, no. Easy, easy.
Ah!
Ah!
Ay! Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Let's make a deal.
If you let me go, I'll go in there
and give them a few punches
so they will take you seriously,
huh rascal?
What are you doing?
No, no, no!
Wait, wait a minute...
No!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Motherfuckers! Motherfuckers!
Motherfuckers! Motherfuckers!
Motherfuckers!
Ah! Ah!
I'm getting bored. Let's go somewhere
else where there's more people.
O.K.
Motherfuckers, motherfuckers!
Motherfuckers!
Ah! Motherfuckers!
What happened?
Where are we?
Everything is under control.
Go back to sleep.
You need it.
We've got another 15 minutes of driving
before we get to the lost mine.
And this map?
I've traded it for another thing
with the kid. He's adorable.
Zacar?as!
Get out this minute!
No, you're gonna beat me!
I'm not going to hurt you, son,
just come out for a minute.
- Is there gas in the excavator?
- There's some.
Prepare it; we're going to the lost mine.
- Just like the old times, eh?
- Shut up!
The bitch got me aggravated.
We're on the right way.
That's the tree of hangers.
What the fuck
are you looking at, shithead!
Puts out light,
Mariluz, puts out light...
I cannot live with so much light.
The drunk in the cemetery...
play all mus...
How's the food here?
Fuck!
Calm down, Orujo,
or we'll drag to much attention.
I hate this planet.
You've got what you wanted,
I should be going.
- Will it be enough?
- I've doubled it.
Once it's activated,
you can' stop it.
I don't want any fuck-ups.
When this fucker comes near,
he's going to eat, I assure you.
The blast radius is very wide, Orujo.
The explosion won't go out through his ass.
That is my concern...
I don't want to interfere in your business,
but will you be able to kill him
and not hurt your daughter in the process?
I'm not paying you to ask questions,
but because you're the best in the business.
Stick to that.
This is between that son of a bitch and me.
I don' know how this is going to end,
and I don't want to.
It's absurd and I don't like it.
What's up dad, everything under control?
Listen, the television crew want
to talk to you. They're outside.
Who?
The television crew.
You know how they are.
They called me to ask
where is the ransom money.
I thought they weren't coming.
He, he, he!
Let's go, no time to lose.
We have to make them go away.
Damn it! It's almost time.
Ah!
Hey you, with the doll,
get out of the way!
- It's a ventriloquist, grandpa!
- Or a mimic.
I need you to take me to the lost mine.
Today we're all going to the lost mine.
Climb on, hurry.
A m? me gusta el pipiribipipi
de la bota empinar, parabapapa.
Con el pipiribipipi,
con el paparabapapa,
al que no le gusta el vino
es un animal...
One whisky whit a lot of ice, Garc?a.
Me to, make it double.
?And where are the others?
We had some problems.
Ram?n, be careful,
Orujo was here.
And the police?
They didn't show up yet.
That's bad.
They're buying.
Thank you.
So, what are we going to do
with my fathers money, boss?
Alright...
Let's see if we can get this straight
for the last time, Patricia.
Where do I start... Alright.
- I kidnapped you, you remember?
- Yes.
So, that makes me a kidnapper.
And I'm doing this to get
the money, do you understand?
That's obvious.
And who are you?
You're the victim.
- You are forced to be here.
- No. I'm here because I want to be.
No, no, no...
You are here...
against your will.
You don't understand it now,
but later, when you get home,
with your dad, you'll hate me
for all the things I've done to you.
But I don't hate you.
I love you.
Patricia, you're sick.
You're suffering
from the Stockholm syndrome.
Now I get it.
You don't have to say nothing more.
- Patricia...
- Leave me!
Patricia, come here.
- Come here, I said.
- Leave me, Don't touch me!
Excuse me miss,
is he bothering you?
We're just fine, Thank you.
I'm not talking to you, snailhead,
I'm talking to the lady.
She can't speak,
she's mentally ill.
And if I break your jaw, then what?
Look, I don't want any trouble,
so leave us...
Ram?n...
Excuse us for a moment, eh?
Lets go, here!
Quickly, quickly!
Ready?
Roll at will.
This is Jaime Blanch for J.Q.K.,
from the lost mine bar.
In a few moments we will witness the
outcome of the kidnapping of the year.
Let's leave the presentations!
We are waiting...
In this very moment Mr. Orujo
the millionaire industrialist,
and the father of the victim has entered.
Mr. Orujo, could you tell
the viewers of the J.Q.K. A few...
It's obvious... That due to
excitement of these moments,
Mr. Orujo doesn't want
to give any statements.
But now his son in law
is entering the bar,
maybe he'll take the time to talk to us.
Could you tell us sir? How
exactly are going the negotiations?
Well, I don't think that at this moment,
we should make any conclusions,
that would later seem rushed,
but anyway, I would like
to thank the institutions
and the politics for
the help they've gave us from the beginning
and I want to express
my outrage and disgust
for similar criminal acts...
O. K! That's enough. Thank you very much.
We'll proceed with our live coverage.
But first a few messages from our sponsors.
Every breakfast is a trip...
with Tripis.
Tripis, the colored acid cereal.
Looks like you're even
more stupid than I've thought.
Not only the police,
now you've brought the television!
I didn't call them,
but don't worry,
they won't interfere in nothing.
Here, I've got the money in old bills,
inside of antifusion suitcase.
Now release my daughter!
Looks like there has been a change
who is going to
collect the ransom.
We continue live on J.Q.K.
You are hearing it?
Alright, someone bring me the
suitcase and I'll let the girl go.
Me! I'll do it.
Excuse me.
Hello! What's up?
Looks like, the victims boyfriend,
Luis Mar?a de Ostolaza, is going
to be the one who delivers the suitcase
to the kidnapper.
Yes, he's got the case.
The victim is being released and...
Looks like there's a problem...
- We got the money!
- What are you doing? Let him go!
- Patricia, come here!
- Patricia, go to your father!
Patricia, it's me...
Luis Mari... Ostolaza.
Shut up! Don't tell me what to do!
Uh!
Novelillas?
Pumbys...
What the fuck is this?
Enough with this fucking bullshit!
I've had it with the cameras
and the clowns in uniforms like you.
This is no joke, Orujo.
You just don't get it.
I've got all of my guys here,
aiming for your head.
You hear me?
Because you didn't bring the money
no one will leave this place alive.
That is exactly what
is going to happen, you fucker!
No one is gonna leave this place,
not the presentator,
not the miners, not you,
not this whore here,
not me!
Me neither!
We're all going to die,
You hear me? Everyone!
Right after I squeeze this button.
You know?
I think I totally lost it...
I've got nothing to lose.
45 years trying to succeed
in a job that I hate
and when the happiest day
of my life comes,
the wedding of my only daughter,
a group of knuckleheads shows up
and kills all of my guests.
And my daughter to!
Because you're not my daughter!
My daughter died,
violated by the terrorists
who took her innocence.
You are a whore!
What are you looking at, you fucks?
You think anyone is getting out of here?
You, sing something, god damn it!
A m? me gusta el pipiriripipi...
The moment of the Apocalypse has come.
Prepare to die!
Mr. Orujo was right,
prepare to die, motherfucker.
Alex, You're alive!
Yes, no thanks to you.
I've came to kill you.
- Terrific!
- Release her, you pig!
Jump, damn it!
Ahhhhhh!
Come on, let's get her!
Move your ass!
This is a hard one, Yarritu!
Well, it's not the first time, Garc?a.
Yeah, that's true.
- Give me a gun, I want to shoot!
- Get down, Patricia!
Go!
If you don't get out,
I'll rip your guts out!
What's going on?
Attention, members of the Mutant Action,
this is the police.
You are surrounded.
You cannot escape.
Come out with your hands up
and you won't get hurt.
Don't shoot, don't shoot!
I'm from the television!
I'm going to count to 3,
then get out: 1, 2...
Ahhhhhhhhh!
Ahhhhhhhhh!
Ah, they got me!
It's almost better.
This whole bar thing...
it wasn't a good idea, Garc?a.
Ram?n, this girl...
is not the right for you.
Damn!
Shit!
What's wrong, eh, what's wrong?
We are out of bullets, that's what,
and the police are waiting for us outside.
Patricia, the bomb!
The bomb!
The bomb!
Give me that, you are still useless, Alex.
Stop it, stop it!
We gotta get out of here, eh?
Juntos se van.
Hay algo nuevo en su caminar.
Ahora est?n solos
en compa??a,
pues su recuerdo
les seguir?.
Juntos se van.
A sus amigos
y a sus ideas
no olvidar?n.
Juntos se van.
Cuando algo es fuerte
se lleva dentro,
no hay nada m?s.
Juntos se van.
Son mutilados, pero
a?n hay brazos para luchar.
Y no olvidar.
No somos muchos,
pero muy pronto seremos m?s.
Seremos m?s.
ISeremos m?s!
Veis, aqu? estamos otra vez.
Veis, aqu? estamos otra vez.
Acci?n, venganza,
violencia, progreso.
Armados a conciencia
asumimos el reto,
vengaremos a las v?ctimas
del monte Taigeto.
Justicia ciega,
justicia en braille.
Para feos y mutilados
ha empezado ya el baile.
Empalamos culturistas,
quemamos gimnasios.
En la sauna se cuecen:
Son gusanos.
Y con l?mparas
de escroto de ciclista
sobornamos al que tensa
cuerdas de funambulista.
Somos peligrosos,
somos guerrilleros.
Terroristas diletantes,
tiembla mientras puedas,
esto no es un juego:
Es Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Mens sana in corpore tullido.
Mens sana in corpore tullido.
Esta consigna
nos mantiene siempre unidos.
Mutilaci?n obligatoria,
amputaci?n por decreto:
Queda prohibido
ser un hombre entero.
Cojos, siameses,
paral?ticos, ciegos,
unios a la causa,
juntos venceremos.
El Capit?n Silver
y Zarpa de Acero
nos ven orgullosos
siguiendo sus pasos
Podremos ser reyes,
follar sin descanso.
Podremos ser h?roes
sin piernas ni manos.
Somos peligrosos,
somos guerrilleros.
Terroristas diletantes,
tiembla mientras puedas,
esto no es un juego:
Es Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Qu? erais cuando os encontr??
Eramos basura,
desecho de hospital!
Qui?n os sac? del arroyo
y os hizo lo que sois?
T?, Ram?n!
- Qu? sois ahora?
- Mutantes, mutantes, mutantes!
- Mutantes, mutantes, mutantes!
Haz como Johnny
y coge el fusil.
Haz como Johnny
y coge el fusil.
Mataremos guaperas
con o sin ti.
Translated by: V3R7l60
Corrections by: ZUBi.
Ahhh! Ahhh! Ahhh!
It's only for today, damn it!
Hey, what are you doing?
You, stop moving so much!
Lets put a bag over his head!
Before he starts to scream
as they always do!
Mmm mmm...
That comes later! First we have
to put a bag over his head!
- He's choking, eh!
- He's going to suffocate!!
I will strangle you,
you fucking midget!!
It fits perfectly.
He's moving less and less.
He's getting tired!
We've been on him for half an hour!
I don't think he can breathe...
Because of the bag, and the fruit.
Shut up, you wimp!
Like this is your first kidnapping!
Move him a little M.A.
Look at his condition,
it's not worth taking him.
We won't be able to cover
our costs with the ransom.
Alright, we'll dump him.
He's dead isn't he?
Alright, let's go.
Always the same story!
Let's go, Let's go!
Come on! God damn it!
Now we're in a hurry huh?
Wait up!
This morning, at 5 o'clock A.M.,
Matias Pons, the President
of the National Cultural Federation,
had been murdered in strange circumstances.
It looks like this was
an attempt of kidnapping...
The police think that
the doers of these vile actions,
are the known terrorist gang...
Mutant Action.
Theme.
Acci?n, venganza,
violencia, progreso.
Armados a conciencia
asumimos el reto.
Vengaremos a las v?ctimas
del monte Taigeto.
Justicia ciega, justicia en braille.
Para feos y mutilados
ha empezado ya este baile.
Empalamos culturistas,
quemamos gimnasios.
En la sauna se cuecen:
Son gusanos.
Somos peligrosos,
somos guerrilleros,
terroristas diletantes,
tiembla mientras puedas,
esto no es un juego:
Es Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Haz como Johnny y coge el fusil.
Haz como Johnny y coge el fusil.
Mataremos guaperas con o sin ti.
Empu?a las armas,
vivan los mu?ones,
pr?tesis en alto,
m?s amputaciones.
IAy, qu? da?o!
El Capit?n Silver
y Zarpa de Acero...
iNo siento las piernas!
...nos ven orgullosos
siguiendo sus pasos.
IQue no, que no veo!
Engrasa tu silla, afila tu muleta,
cambia los cupones
por la metralleta.
Rompe tus cadenas,
ya no hay rejas,
es la hora del miedo
y de la paraplejia.
Somos peligrosos,
somos guerrilleros.
Terroristas diletantes,
tiembla mientras puedas,
esto no es un juego:
Es Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Since 10 years ago, when the
terrorist group Mutant Action was formed,
numerous assassinations were purportrated,
by this group of criminals.
So far, their targets were people renown for their good looks,
establishments involved with public health and sperm banks.
Establishments involved with
public health and sperm banks.
And... one, two, one, two.
And now, the most important thing.
Suckers!
Get them, Get them!
Ha, ha, ha!
The members are identified as
Alex and Juan Abadie,
Siamese twins,
C?sar Ravenstein, a.k. A Quimicefa,
known in the world of criminal
by always wearing
5kg of explosives strapped around his waist.
Jos? Oscar Teller?a, a.k. A Manitas,
the groups engineer.
He was arrested more than 50 times.
We caught one of the arrests on tape.
Freeze! Police!
Drop those cases!
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say could and will be
used against you in a court of law.
You have the right to an attorney.
Amancio Gonz?lez, a.k. A M.A.,
deaf from birth
with the lowest I.Q.
On the planet
and a man of extraordinary strength.
Y Jos? Montero, a.k. A Chepa,
a hunchback midget,
jew, freemason, communist,
allegedly homosexual.
The police sources
are pointing out the relation
between this last assassination
and the eminent release
after spending this last 5 years in prison
for illegal possession of firearms.
Tomorrow, the halls of the Orujo family,
the owners of the world known,
bakery Orujo,
will be prepared to host the wedding
of Patricia Orujo,
the only daughter and heiress
of the Orujo empire,
with Luis Mar?a de Ostolaza.
Yarritu!
Get the fuck out of here!
Let's go!
It must have been tough, being
locked up all this time, huh boss?
Nah.
The television is a lot of fun,
especially the news.
Freeze! Police!
Drop the spray!
Drop the spray!
I wanted to clean up a little,
but you know... with all the hurry...
What's up with the computer?
The hard drive is fucked up,
I don't know what's wrong with it.
You couldn't collect the laundry?
- And my tuxedo?
- In your room, Ram?n. Impeccable.
- And the guns?
- We just need to grease them up.
This is the cake?
Yes, OK,
without the cream and the cherries...
We have to..?...it.
We've got five minutes before we get out.
I want this cake to be perfect!
Let's see if you know
exactly what the plan is.
Manitas, feed the cat!
Do you think he's angry?
It's possible that he knows nothing.
Don't you think he'll find out?
The news was on every television.
They've put him in a bad mood.
As we fucked up,
they want to everybody to know.
Mmm mmm...
M.A. Says that it went wrong
because we didn't think the plan through,
that we have to do it again.
Cause' without a good plan,
things don't go as they should.
Ah! We need a guy with some guts
who has balls in the right spot.
If not, it's chaos.
God damn it man, what are you doing,
what are you doing?!
Stop it, stop it, stop it!
Let me do it!
Shit!
For fucks sake where did you
plug in this thing?
Let's try it this way,
Let's try I...
This tubes are the brake hydraulics,
god damn it!
You fucked up everything!
Danger! Danger!
What did I tell you, huh?
That we ask you,
before touching anything.
Now move your fuckin butt and fix this!
The ship could explode!
I don't give a shit...
Alright!
Let's try to concentrate on the plan.
O.K.
We enter here with the truck.
There are two guards here.
We pass them like we brought the cake...
There won't be any problems, huh?
We've got 15 minutes to get out of there
before the real truck with the cake arrives.
This is the back entrance.
And if we try to get out here?
It would be fast as well.
Shut up!
Looks like you're thinking
a lot these days.
No, I just thought as there
are two guards here...
I bet you organized the last kidnapping!?
Or no one did?
You just went there to make a mess,
and give away oranges.
- No, it wasn't like that, Ram?n.
Then how?
We did our best. He just died.
- We had bad luck.
- Right.
- And what was with the plastic surgeon?
- That was different.
It was he who got nervous
and jumped out of the car.
What about the fashion show?
50kg of explosives that blew up
one hour after everyone walked out.
If you wanted to make an impression...
You've made it.
5 years I've spent,
watching you clowns on television,
making fools of yourself on the news.
It wasn't like that?
It wasn't like that?
Who do you think you are?
Did you forget the three great questions?
What were you when I found you?
We were garbage,
hospital waste!
Who pulled you out of the gutter
and made you what you are today?
- You, Ram?n!
- And what are you now?
Mutants, Mutants, Mutants!
We are the soldiers of the Mutant army,
and we'll win the war!
The society treated us like shit
and now we're gonna kick them in the ass!
The world is dominated by cute
little babies, and daddies munchkins.
God!
Enough with the 'light' shit!
Enough with the aftershave,
enough with car commercials,
of mineral water!
We don't want to smell good,!
We don't want to get thin!
No!
We just want to stay ourselves:
The whole world is either dumb or stylish.
Yes!
We are mutants, not fucking beach pijos?
Neither god damn?
Yeah!
And now we're gonna show them shitheads,
the meaning of the word terrorism.
- Look, there's Cuqui with that girl.
- Did you see her face?
I bet she drinks and takes drugs.
Vaya pareja, porque lo que es ella
tambi?n se pone bien.
- I've been told, she does drugs to.
- Really?
Yes, Gusi and Tato told me,
they're getting high as well.
Vaya pincho de mierda!
The brides dress looks like its a rental.
It looks like something her
mother made, god rest her soul.
The grooms tuxedo looks like it was
printed, but when you get a closer look,
you realize it's full of grease spots.
How are you tonight!?
The party is so charming!
You look like a movie star, darling!
Where did you get this great dress?
Rubbish!
You've made me the happiest man on earth.
I wish your mother could be here.
Don't cry daddy! I'm so happy...
Uh!
We brought the cake.
- All of you brought this cake?
- It's... It's big.
Through here.
One moment... Just two.
Well, we'll just wait here
until they come back, OK?
There's a lot of us,
and with all the fuss in there...
Looks like they're late.
Will we have any problems with the cake?
We should enter and check it out.
Alright, guys.
I know you're not programmed
to let us through,
but I know also it must suck to
stand here all day
and not get anything in return.
Maybe you would consider ignoring the program
and let us in.
?What do you say?
M.A., tell these gentlemen
we need to get in.
Like we agreed,
try to get in without notice,
and mingle with the crowd.
Proceed.
Here we go!
Through here.
...cuando la vi ella sonri?.
Mis ojos vieron todo el amor.
Me gusta.
A su lado yo corr?
y la invit?.
Noche feliz...
yo me enamor?.
Mi coraz?n...
How many bakers,
and they're all wearing tuxedos.
I've got a feeling this night
will be unforgettable.
Keep stirring, god damn it!
- Is this great or what!?
- Mmm mmm...
Dice que si no hay m?s pollo.
Now listen, so everything's clear.
O.K.
When the bride cuts the cake,
play the 'Aires de Fiesta'
de Karina on the jukebox.
Aires de fiesta,
los chicos y las chicas...
radiantes de feli...
Chepa, this will be the sign
that you jump out,
- and drug the girl with chloroform.
- Got it.
Your job is, to kill the lights,
so I can grab the girl and we get out.
Got it, I turn off the lights.
Alright.
No, you set the music on the jukebox.
- And then I turn off the lights.
- No, M.A. Turns the lights off.
- You stand guard.
- You didn't say nothing about that.
Well I'm telling you now:
You stand guard.
What about me, Ram?n?
I stand guard to?
No, you're going to set the music
on the jukebox with your brother.
- Everything clear?
- So...,
when the lights go out,
I go after the girl.
No, no!
When the song starts playing!
- The song is the signal!
- Right, when the music starts.
You won't be able to see
if the lights go out. Right?
Alright, enough!
Let's just do it!
- Alright, give me a coin.
- I don't have any money!
- What do you mean,
you don't have any money?
- I don't have it.
How was I supposed to know
we were going shopping.
Come on, stop fucking around. Give me a coin,
come on. Give me a coin
I swear I don't have it!
I'm a rebel because the world
made me this way,
because no one
treated me with love...
No, it isn't that one...
How does it go?
Fuck!
I'll see you later, OK?
Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Aires de fiesta,
los chicos y chicas...
radiantes de felicidad.
Aires de fiesta
a tiempo de marcha, parapap?.
I pronounce you...
I pronounce you...
I pronounce you...
I pronounce you...
- Todos a coro, cantando
con fuerza parapap?.
Vamos decididos
a pasar este d?a
con gran alegr?a,
con buen humor.
La gente sonr?e
cuando ve que pasamos...
I pronounce you...
I pronounce you...
I pronounce you...
I pronounce you...
I pronounce you...
Aires de fiesta,
los chicos y chicas...
radiantes de felicidad.
Aires de fiesta
a tiempo de marcha, parapap?.
Let's go.
Buah!
Buah... Buah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Shut up! Damn it!
Don't move!
Let's go, we have to get out of here!
Get back!
M.A., without second thought.
Freeze! Police! Drop your weapons
and you won't get hurt!
Ah!
Don't get fooled by the tape,
you moron.
You may think I?m in prison,
you poor bastard,
but I'm not. Not anymore.
Yes, yes, you heard it right.
If everything went right,
I'll be in this very moment
that you're watching this video
on my way to the planet Axturias...
with your daughter, you fuck!
Motherfucker!
I'm going to fuck you up!
Father, relax,
it's only a video.
If we don't watch it carefully,
we won't hear the ransom conditions.
It's better you remain calm
or you won't hear the ransom conditions.
I will explain them to you now,
and you will understand them perfectly.
I want 100 million in used bills,
in an antifusion suitcase.
Simple, ?huh?
The meeting point will be at
the Lost Mine Bar in the devil valley,
on the planet Axturias.
Alright..., I know you are one stupid fuck,
but I don't think you're stupid
enough to call the police.
Because if you do,
your daughter will loose
more than just her virginity.
We will met two days after
you receive this video.
Hala, to cracking it!
I swear you're going to pay for this.
Be wherever you may be!
Fucking terrorist!
Our number, eh...,
of identification is...
477337/7.
Fishing ship Virgen del Carmen.
- Number of crew?
- One at your service.
This heavy computer presents
almost all the weight...
Cargo?
Frozen fish,
codfish sweets, eh...,
lobster tails and stuff like that.
And where are you headed?
We're bound for Gam?nedes,
that stuff sells good there.
Uf, especially the crab.
Alright, now look carefully.
Do you know this man?
Damn, he looks familiar.
Was he on television?
I watch a lot of television.
There's only this computer here, so...
Off course he was on the news. He's a terrorist
and he is supposed to be here somewhere.
Now that you've mentioned it,
so it happens,
a while ago,
a strange light cruise ship passed by,
?Could you tell me what direction it went?
Well, I think...
about 15 degrees
north-northeast coaxial alfa nine,
but I?m really not sure,
I really can't say,
so don't take my word for it...
Alright. You may proceed,
but don't go off your course!
Deal!
Man, three times we've passed this checkpoints
with the number of the fishing boat.
I'm not doing it the next time!
I have a police record to!
They're going to recognize me with
the cap and everything, damn it.
How did it go?
Eh? Very good, Ram?n.
They've bought it again.
Remain on course until we reach G-7.
You got it!
Connect the secondary turbine conductors
and make a 45 degree turn...
What did he say?
What did he say?
- Do you know what he said?
- I don't know. You heard it.
Whatever. Dinner is ready.
?When do I have to turn?
Again this shit.
Since the kidnapping we haven't
eaten nothing but this fucking
crab tails.
Give me two.
You can eat the cat food if you want.
- Speak.
- I go with 50.000.
I see you...
and I raise you 50.000.
Tomorrow, when we get the 10 million
from the ransom
you can eat whatever you want.
I see you 50.000 and raise you 50.000.
You're not bluffing again, are you?
I hope you know that we're playing
for our parts of the ransom money
not for these tails here.
Look, we'll play as we want to.
I see you 50 and raise you 100.000
- Pass me the can.
- Are you sure?
I'm not too sure about this.
Look, I don't want to be boring,
but you've lost...
2.400.000 ecus so far.
That means if you lose this game,
you only have 10 thousand left.
What do you mean 10.000?
What about his part?
What part?
You two are one part!
Half and half, one part!
Ten million by four...
Two and a half million.
Alright...
We'll make four parts.
Is the dinner ready?
If we get one part, he get's half.
Where is the remote?
Where did you hide the remote!?
Mmm... Mmm...
Now fuck yourselves!
Take the remote from him!
Come on, give me the remote.
We always watch what you want.
Give me the remote!
Give me the god damned remote!
- I've had it!
- Now.
One of this days, I'm going
to explode, you hear me?!
?What happens if I explode, eh?
If I explode, what then?
The daughter of the industrialist
J.M. Orujo is still missing...
Hey, look, you're on television, hehe!
Known worldwide for their pastry...
specialized in manufacturing
the famous Orujo rolls.
The famous Orujo rolls.
The police sources think
that the known terrorist gang
Mutant Action is behind this crime.
Oeoeoeoeeee!
Oeoee!
This one turned out alright,
didn't it?
Patricia Orujo was kidnapped
on the very day of her wedding
by this terrorist group,
again leaving a terrible massacre behind.
Between the bodies there were identified:
Jos? Montero, a.k. A Chepa,
and Amancio Gonz?lez, a.k. A M.A.,
responsible, among other,
for assassination of culturist
Muscles de Elche and the recent
assassination of Mat?as Pons.
This just in,
thanks to the family of the victim,
we now know the exact amount demanded
for the release of Patricia Orujo.
100 million ecus.
The trade will take place
tomorrow on the planet of Axturias,
in the Gutemberg galaxy.
This is what happened...
How much did he say?
Did he say 100 million,
or did I misunderstand?
No, no, no. Not 100.
Ram?n said 10.
There must have been a mistake.
Are you sure he said 100?
Ram?n did the negotiating.
He said he demanded 10 million.
If he demanded 100 and we get 10, then...
What is it now?
Again the brake fluids?
No, the brake fluids are o.k.
It's something else...
we were watching the television
the news were on...
- They talked about the kidnapping.
- And?
Well nothing,
just... looks like...
You didn't tell us that the family
is going to pay 100 million.
100 million what?
100 million ecus,
the guy on the news said it loud and clear.
100 mill.
You told us 10.
So I said 10
and the guy on the television said 100, huh?
We don't want you to think,
that we are saying,
that you might be lying or anything like that.
It's alright. I get it now.
All this years for nothing.
All this years I've fought for you
I gave you everything.
And now you think,
that I?m a dirty thief,
and a fucking traitor, is that it!?
No, it's not like that!
- No, Ram?n, it's not that.
- We always trusted you.
All we want is an explanation.
How can you be so naive?
You watch the news and you believe it.
You don't realize, you dumb fucks,
that that is precisely what they want!?
We start doubting ourselves!
And we end up killing each other
and solve their problem.
What did I tell you, huh?
100 million!
Ha, ha, ha!
They could have said one thousand easily.
- Or whatever.
- Or two?
Alright, the important thing is,
that tomorrow
we get the 10 million. Real ones.
We have to be prepared for the transfer.
Stop screwing around,
everything has to go perfect,
as we planned it!
Did you check
the refractant turboprocessors?
The turboprocessors of the
atom module chamber?
- No, the other ones.
- No, that ones, no.
Well, get to it.
Quimicefa, confirm
the sections of the automatic circuits.
I already confirmed them, this morning.
- Did you grease them up?
- No, that no...
That?s bad. They must be greased up.
Tomorrow will be the most
important day of our lives,
and we have to prepare ourselves.
Let's see, what were you when I found you?
We were garbage. Hospital waste!
Who pulled you out of the gutter
and made you what you are today?
- You, Ram?n!
- What are you?
Mutants, mutants,
mutants, mutants!
Mutants, mutants, mutants!
You know... I always do what I'm told,
and I newer complain,
but I don't understand
why do we have to do the same
things that we did this morning.
Shut your pie hole!
If Ramon says we have to check
the turbocompresors,
we'll check them, and that?s final.
Don't you start any troubles now.
And besides, we checked
the ones of the atom
module chamber and Ramon says
to check the others.
O.K., and where are those others?
- You don't know where they are?
- No, you?
Manitas,
I think we have to figure out a way
so that this kind of misunderstandings
don't happen again.
Yes, damn it. I think it would be
great to have more information,
on how the bookkeeping
of this enterprise is run, huh?
I totally agree.
Even more. Now that we've lost Chepa,
you could be in charge of the
administration and the bookkeeping of ransoms.
Really? Thank you!
I can't believe it!
Me the accountant?!
?Do you really mean it?
No, not really.
Ahg!
Ahg! Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Mmm!
Ahg!
Mmm! Mmm!
Ah!
How do these turbocompresors even look like?
How do they look like?
How do they look like?
You just look and when we find them
I'll tell you what they look like!
Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Did you hear a scream?
Yes, that would be the
turbocompresors calling us.
It's eating me!
Ah!
This time it was a scream.
Let's go!
Get me out of here!
Get me out of here!
It's eating me!
Mmm! Mmm!
Get me out! Get me out!
Ah!
Ah!
Manitas!
Be still!
Don't just stand here looking, do something!
You do it, sucker!
Manitas!
Don't move I'll give you a hand!
My god, Manitas!
Get out of the way!
Move!
Manitas, Manitas! God!
Alright, guys.
This confirms my suspicions.
I didn't tell you nothing so far,
because I wasn't sure.
- But you see the obvious.
- What?
Manitas was clever
and knew what was going on.
And for that he was murdered.
Guys, we have a traitor amongst ourselves.
How are we going to make him out?
We have to stay united.
That way the traitor will give
him self up alone.
- Why? I don't understand.
- Shut up! Go on, Ram?n.
In a few hours we'll be getting
to our rendezvous point...
We'll let him make the first move.
But if the traitor is amongst us
he'll hear everything, and...
- Do you have a better idea?
- No, I think it's great,
I'm just, not to sure about...
Listen, why are you asking so many questions?
And if I inspect your laboratory?
Brrrpp!
Don't jump to conclusions,
violence won't solve anything.
- That's true.
- Everyone back to their rooms.
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm!
It wasn't me.
You have to believe me.
You neither, because you're not
capable of anything without me.
That leaves Ram?n and Quimicefa.
Who are we going to trust?
Poor Manitas!
We have to get something straight.
- Everything is straight.
- I don't think so.
If you remember,
when Ram?n entered...
When he entered, nothing!!!
If you have something to say
why didn't you say it earlier?
- Let him speak, huh?
- You shut up!
You think you're so smart, don't you!
Looks like you've got it all figured out.
More than you might think.
- You're probably feeling guilty.
- I think you're probably feeling guilty.
Why don't you just explode and leave us be?
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm!
Damn!
- Aren't we going to sleep?
- Shut up!
Do you want to wake up
with a bullet in your head?
- I don't trust nobody one bit.
- Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
Alright, then you stand guard?
Wake me if something happens, O. K?
What's wrong with you?
Is something the matter?
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
Because, if something?s wrong
you can tell me.
Mmm! Mmm!
You know you're here like a guest...
- Mmm! Mmm!
- Are you hungry?
Cold... Are you cold?
You're sitting here half naked.
If you catch something,
what is your father going to say?
We didn't have the chance
to talk peacefully.
I'm sorry about your wedding,
I really am,
but you know how things are.
When you're shooting all around, and you
don't know how you're going to get out...
I'm very sorry, really.
I know it's no comfort, but your
boyfriend was no good, you know.
He was after your money, Patricia.
It obvious.
In time you'll see we did you a favor.
I'm sure... Now because of this,
you'll find someone better.
Someone who'll really love you,
for you, for...
for what you are...
not for your daddy?s millions...
someone who'll know how to take care of you...
I know, I know, I know...
You're feeling uncomfortable,
surrounded by strangers, miles away
from your home, from your friends...
But we could become good friends, right?
I'm going to have some money now, and...
who knows...
Is it time? What time it is?
Were you listening?
You're a pig, you hear me?
You're always hanging around,
always watching me!
Get the fuck out of here!
Go, go!
And you! Watch yourself if you
want to get out of here alive!
Let's go!
Mmm!
Quimicefa, there's something
I have to tell you.
Don't get up,
it won't take long.
I didn't want the others to know.
This is between you and me.
- Did you discover who the traitor is?
- Yes...
It's me. How bout that, huh!?
Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Mmm!
It's Quimicefa!
We have to knock down the door!
There's nothing left. Just this.
Well, and this.
Fortunately, he was alone,
locked in his room.
If he weren't...
We would all blow up.
- He killed himself!
- What?
- Why would he kill himself?
- Why?
Because Quimicefa was our traitor.
Oh yeah, that's why he was asking
so many questions, that fucker.
?What does that have to do
with him killing himself?
Shut up, you freak!
He killed himself out of remorse.
No, he killed himself
because he was loosing it.
He knew you didn't trust him.
That's right,
you remember how he was?
Oh yeah... yeah...
Alright, we solved the problem, huh?
Tomorrow we collect the 10 mill
and we split it three ways!
Oh that's great!
Now that there's no more danger,
we can relax in peace.
We better go to bed.
Tomorrow is going to be a tough day.
Ah!
I can explain everything.
He wanted to kill you.
He told me that many times.
He was always in your way, Alex.
He was like a nightmare,
always following you everywhere.
?You realize that, huh?
You're finally free of him!
Now you can get an operation
with that 5 mill, ?eh?
And you'll get him off your back forever.
Ah!
Alright, it's true.
It's 100 million.
50 for each.
You can't say that I didn't think of you, eh?
Ah! Ah!
Damn!
Don't ruin what could become
the beginning of a great friendship, huh?
You and me against the world, Alex!
We could call ourselves...
"The two from space", eh?
What do you think?
You're finished...
without me. You hear me?
You're nothing more than a genetic flaw.
And an idiot.
You don't know how to steer the ship!
If you kill me you'll wonder
in space until you rot, you imbecile.
Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm!
Get up!
No offense taken, ?eh?
Stop screwing around, you fuck.
Get up, or I'll blow away
what's left of your face!
Alright, alright, whatever you say...
Although it would be better if you'd
give it some thought first, huh?
Ah!
Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Danger!
Danger!
Danger!
Danger!
Danger!
Uha!
Danger!
100 million divided by one
is 100 million, right?
This didn't turn out so bad after all.
I will meet your father in a couple of hours
so we can discuss the money.
I have to clean myself up a little,
or else, what's your father going
to say if he sees me like this?
What was I when my mother gave birth to me?
Number one, the best!
Who made me the man I am today?
Me! With no help from anybody.
And what am I?
I'm the fucking master!
You should get cleaned up a bit to, eh?
Uh!
Uh!
Uh!
Uh! Shit!
Fucking shit!
There Orujo.
It's over.
- Are you sure?
- I'm 98% sure.
- Not good enough, we have to check it out.
- So, we proceed with the plan?
Absolutely.
Maintain course to Axturias.
On command...
But it is impossible that
they have survived the crash.
Uh!
- Ram?n.
- What?
I think I was having a dream.
Really?
How interesting!
Alright, let's see...
I think we landed somewhere around here.
And now we should be here, yeah.
I was to be married,
but it went wrong and I killed a hunchback.
Than I was on this ship,
and I couldn't speak.
Mmm!
Alright, the rendezvous point
should be here somewhere... Here, yes.
After that everything just went crazy...
Somebody tried to kill you,
but I couldn't do anything to stop him.
It wasn't a dream.
It all happened, yesterday.
Yes I've thought...,
but it's as if...
- What are you doing?
- I'm tying you up.
Do you think we should kill my father?
Oh, no, not the Stockholm syndrome again.
- Not today, ?eh?
- What?
Shut up! We're leaving!
It's four o'clock, we've got five hours
to get to the lost mine.
Ay!
Ay!
Ah!
Ah!
Get away!
Ah!
Dear god, what is this?
Two dying guys sharing a shoulder.
- I'm not so sure about this, Orujo.
- What's wrong now?
We could have problems
transporting the material.
Don't start with that. We're going
to finish what we've started.
It's very unstable.
This terrain is very difficult to cross.
It could be too dangerous.
This is not a game,
?you hear me?
I'm going to finish this,
if it's the last thing I do.
The intellectual oppression
of the minorities is obvious, Ay!
The media are hiding the truth
in the interest, ay!
Of the powerful.
It's amazing to what length
the system will go to drive you crazy.
Ay!
We should be around here somewhere.
Unless we exploded more due south.
Take me for example.
21 years lost, living a life,
that wasn't my real life,
alienated.
Ay!
- We should be...
- And my father?
He thought he could buy my love
and he bought me a pink pony.
I wish we had a pink pony right now...
That's why I admire you, Ram?n,
you don't get deceived.
You know we have to react and point out
all the flaws of the system.
Destroy it,
so we can build another one
from scratch, a new world, fair,
where mutilations
will make us equal
and where beauty doesn't mean anything,
only the personality.
Look, Patricia,
don't make things more difficult.
You were bad enough this morning
and this sun is making you even worse.
I don't think you're taking me seriously.
Listen!
We blew up,
I don't know where the fuck we are
and we don't have any water.
I'm tired, I'm hungry
and I've got a headache.
So just walk
and don't annoy me anymore.
Ram?n, you are so strong.
Well, I can't do much more right now,
but at least he won't decompose for now.
- He smells a little bit!
- It's the acids I?ve put on him.
When the flesh is that badly rotten
they react and smell that way,
you'll get used to it.
You have to get him off of your
back as soon as possible,
son, you could catch gangrene.
What do you think?
He looks like a doll.
I'll fix it.
You gave us quite a scare this morning.
I thought it was the crazy miners,
they would kill anything, just for fun.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yes, they are very dangerous.
The gas from the mines makes them crazy.
One things for sure, they enjoy it.
Do you know where the lost mine bar is?
Which? The Garcia bar?
It's not what it used to be.
Since they've reduced
the prices of carbon on Earth,
they haven't stopped firing miners.
- Could you show me the way?
- Why such a hurry?
Stay here for a couple of days,
get some rest
and we'll finish dissecting your brother.
I have a meeting there,
a meeting I can't miss.
A score you have to settle?
Yes, that's it!
There's a woman involved to.
- A woman!
- Yes, that's right.
You mean there's going to be a woman
in the Garcia bar?
I'm sure of it, that fucker will bring
her there, stupid as he is.
My god!
Maybe I'll even see her!
Quick, we have no time to lose.
Let's go, let's go!
I'll make us some sandwiches
and we'll leave as soon as possible.
What's got into you now, eh?
Don't you understand, moron?
There's no women on Axturias!
You know, Ram?n?
I think I know what's troubling you.
Man, there's gotta be an
easier way to make money.
You're feeling bad because
you killed all of your friends,
and that's no small thing.
Sometimes you
have to do some things,
even if you don't want to.
And if someone is in your way,
you have to deal with him, period.
And move on.
I know it's tough.
You're tired and depressed.
You feel like everything
you did was in vain.
Everybody hates you.
You hate yourself to, eh?
Isn't it so, Ram?n?
Are you listening to me?
Tell me!
Ah!
Relax, eh?
Let's not ruin everything now.
You're a professional.
You can handle this.
Let's not lose our head now,
and ruin years of work.
I know what I said angers you...
No, What angers me is that
I don't have a stapler with me.
Was it because I said you
are depressed. Huh, Ram?n?
Listen to me good, Patricia,
I will tell you this just this once.
If you start talking about
what?s troubling me,
I will cut your feet off. I'll only get
half of the money, but I'll keep my nerves.
Do you understand, eh? O.K.
Shit!
- Ah!
- Ah!
Why does everything
have to get so complicated?
Where did you come from, ?eh?
Just what I needed, an idiot.
Stop it, damn!
Alright, where do you live?
Where do you live?
Where do you live?
There, huh?
- Have you found the ship?
- Yes, or something like ti.
There aren't any signs of life.
It's possible they died at the landing.
No, they're here.
I can smell them...
Quickly, we have to get
to the rendezvous point
before nightfall.
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
I thought we'll never see anyone.
We have been walking for a whole day...
We had an accident,
about 30 kilometers from here.
The truth is we don't know where we are.
We are looking for a bar that...
Ha, ha, ha!
Good day...
Shut up, damn it!
There's a woman outside.
I told you not to be on the sun too long.
- It's bad for you.
- No, it's true grandpa.
- And there's a guy, who wants water.
Leave the kid alone.
You always pick on him cause his little.
He's on the porch playing with the dog.
Hi, what's up?
I was just telling the guys
that we had an accident and...
The story began with
the problem of 100 million.
We didn't know exactly
if there were 10 or 100 million.
Yes I saw it on television.
I don't know if you...
No, I don't think you've seen it.
- I mustn't watch the television.
- On the news.
That's how the problem started.
- So, he killed all of you?
- One by one, slowly.
He's smart and very tough.
And he doesn't have any prejudices.
- A winner.
- I wouldn't say that.
- Let's just say he got lucky.
- Luck always runs
out my friend.
- Are you talking to me?
- No, man. I mean him.
He was my best friend and today
I'm going to kill him.
- The money ruins everything.
- And women to.
Yeah, women also ruin a lot.
More throws hair of co?o that car of oxen.
But... Do you love her?
Man, I... I don't know.
With my brother always around,
it wasn't easy being alone with a woman.
So you have never...
Never what?
You never said anything to Patricia.
Ah, no, she doesn't know anything yet.
Let's hope nothing bad happens to her.
So you want to know
How to get to the Garcia bar?
Yes, It's easy, if you know the way.
Eat, eat all you want, darling.
No, I haven't much of an appetite.
There's enough food here,
what's missing is someone
to cook it... Ha, ha, ha!
There's not a lot of women
around here, you know?
Imagine, my nephews have never
seen one like this before... In flesh.
What do you think?
Cute kid.
How old is he?
10 I think.
You must excuse him,
I don't let him to talk to strangers.
And his mother?
The poor thing died when
the kids were still very little.
She was a nice woman.
We bought her in a colony in the valley.
But to tell the truth,
she wasn't very resistant.
You know how delicate women are.
Ha, ha, ha!
He, he, he!
Ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Sell her to me.
I will give you everything I got.
- She is worth 100 million.
- What have you heard?
He said 100 million!
Ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Alright, alright!
I'll give you 200.000 ecus and 200 videos,
that's everything I have.
Forget it, she's not for sale.
Ram?n, let's get out of here,
I have a strange feeling.
It's O.K.
Looks like we wont
be able to convince you.
- Zacar?as, go to your room.
- But, ?why?
- Let me stay a little longer!
- I said, go to your room.
We're gonna kill this gentlemen.
Alright, alright.
It would be a shame to ruin the dinner.
We're all civilized here, ?huh?
Let's work something out.
How about I rent her?
It would only take one hour.
Remember you don't know
how to get to Garcia bar.
After all, ?what's one hour?
Nothing! ?What do you think?
No deal. I don't have the time
and I don't like videos.
I'm very sorry.
Some other time.
Patricia, let's go,
we have a date with your father.
You can sit down.
What are you doing?
Leave that and let's go!
Ah!
Tie him up tightly!
Zacar?as, go get my shaving machine!
Chicos, guys you don't know
what good time we'll have!
Under this tree I declared love
to a woman, who was to be my wife,
20 years ago.
- And did you love her?
- Did I love her?
Off course I loved her.
She was a nice woman.
We bought her in a colony
in the valley.
But to tell the truth,
she wasn't very resistant.
You know how delicate women are,
he, he!
It makes me sick just thinking
that she's with him.
Stop thinking about that.
You'll have your revenge
in a couple of hours,
and the girl.
That's the idea, right?
Yes, that's the idea.
It's just...
- What?
- I don't know.
And if anything goes wrong?
Why would anything go wrong?
I don't know, but it every time does.
Alright, until now.
Relax, everything will go perfectly.
For the first time you're alone,
no family and no bosses.
And plus you've met this girl.
What more do you want?
I didn't look at it this way...
Do you think a girl like that
could fall in love with someone like me?
Off course! Why not?
A woman is a mystery...
At least that's what they say...
This time you have to do it,
with determination,
without beating around the bush,
get right to the point...
And if it goes wrong...
The important thing is to participate.
Don't they say that to?
Look, first you kiss her
and then we'll see.
- I won't know what to say to her.
Look, I'm going to give you
an advise about women
that you'll never forget.
The crazy miners!
Run, you moron!
Ah!
Ah! Oh! Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Ah! Oh... Oh!
Shut up already!
- What nerve.
- Quita, co?o.
She hit me.
I'll go first and I'll explain
to you how it's done.
You just watch your grandpa do it.
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Aren't you going?
Grandpa, grandpa,
I want to go to.
Alright, son, just close the door...
from the outside.
Ah!
They want her for herself, ?eh?
They're having all the fun in there
and you out here getting bored, eh?
We could be friends.
I know a lot of games.
Why don't you untie me
and I will show you some?
No, no, no. Easy, easy.
Ah!
Ah!
Ay! Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Let's make a deal.
If you let me go, I'll go in there
and give them a few punches
so they will take you seriously,
huh rascal?
What are you doing?
No, no, no!
Wait, wait a minute...
No!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Motherfuckers! Motherfuckers!
Motherfuckers! Motherfuckers!
Motherfuckers!
Ah! Ah!
I'm getting bored. Let's go somewhere
else where there's more people.
O.K.
Motherfuckers, motherfuckers!
Motherfuckers!
Ah! Motherfuckers!
What happened?
Where are we?
Everything is under control.
Go back to sleep.
You need it.
We've got another 15 minutes of driving
before we get to the lost mine.
And this map?
I've traded it for another thing
with the kid. He's adorable.
Zacar?as!
Get out this minute!
No, you're gonna beat me!
I'm not going to hurt you, son,
just come out for a minute.
- Is there gas in the excavator?
- There's some.
Prepare it; we're going to the lost mine.
- Just like the old times, eh?
- Shut up!
The bitch got me aggravated.
We're on the right way.
That's the tree of hangers.
What the fuck
are you looking at, shithead!
Puts out light,
Mariluz, puts out light...
I cannot live with so much light.
The drunk in the cemetery...
play all mus...
How's the food here?
Fuck!
Calm down, Orujo,
or we'll drag to much attention.
I hate this planet.
You've got what you wanted,
I should be going.
- Will it be enough?
- I've doubled it.
Once it's activated,
you can' stop it.
I don't want any fuck-ups.
When this fucker comes near,
he's going to eat, I assure you.
The blast radius is very wide, Orujo.
The explosion won't go out through his ass.
That is my concern...
I don't want to interfere in your business,
but will you be able to kill him
and not hurt your daughter in the process?
I'm not paying you to ask questions,
but because you're the best in the business.
Stick to that.
This is between that son of a bitch and me.
I don' know how this is going to end,
and I don't want to.
It's absurd and I don't like it.
What's up dad, everything under control?
Listen, the television crew want
to talk to you. They're outside.
Who?
The television crew.
You know how they are.
They called me to ask
where is the ransom money.
I thought they weren't coming.
He, he, he!
Let's go, no time to lose.
We have to make them go away.
Damn it! It's almost time.
Ah!
Hey you, with the doll,
get out of the way!
- It's a ventriloquist, grandpa!
- Or a mimic.
I need you to take me to the lost mine.
Today we're all going to the lost mine.
Climb on, hurry.
A m? me gusta el pipiribipipi
de la bota empinar, parabapapa.
Con el pipiribipipi,
con el paparabapapa,
al que no le gusta el vino
es un animal...
One whisky whit a lot of ice, Garc?a.
Me to, make it double.
?And where are the others?
We had some problems.
Ram?n, be careful,
Orujo was here.
And the police?
They didn't show up yet.
That's bad.
They're buying.
Thank you.
So, what are we going to do
with my fathers money, boss?
Alright...
Let's see if we can get this straight
for the last time, Patricia.
Where do I start... Alright.
- I kidnapped you, you remember?
- Yes.
So, that makes me a kidnapper.
And I'm doing this to get
the money, do you understand?
That's obvious.
And who are you?
You're the victim.
- You are forced to be here.
- No. I'm here because I want to be.
No, no, no...
You are here...
against your will.
You don't understand it now,
but later, when you get home,
with your dad, you'll hate me
for all the things I've done to you.
But I don't hate you.
I love you.
Patricia, you're sick.
You're suffering
from the Stockholm syndrome.
Now I get it.
You don't have to say nothing more.
- Patricia...
- Leave me!
Patricia, come here.
- Come here, I said.
- Leave me, Don't touch me!
Excuse me miss,
is he bothering you?
We're just fine, Thank you.
I'm not talking to you, snailhead,
I'm talking to the lady.
She can't speak,
she's mentally ill.
And if I break your jaw, then what?
Look, I don't want any trouble,
so leave us...
Ram?n...
Excuse us for a moment, eh?
Lets go, here!
Quickly, quickly!
Ready?
Roll at will.
This is Jaime Blanch for J.Q.K.,
from the lost mine bar.
In a few moments we will witness the
outcome of the kidnapping of the year.
Let's leave the presentations!
We are waiting...
In this very moment Mr. Orujo
the millionaire industrialist,
and the father of the victim has entered.
Mr. Orujo, could you tell
the viewers of the J.Q.K. A few...
It's obvious... That due to
excitement of these moments,
Mr. Orujo doesn't want
to give any statements.
But now his son in law
is entering the bar,
maybe he'll take the time to talk to us.
Could you tell us sir? How
exactly are going the negotiations?
Well, I don't think that at this moment,
we should make any conclusions,
that would later seem rushed,
but anyway, I would like
to thank the institutions
and the politics for
the help they've gave us from the beginning
and I want to express
my outrage and disgust
for similar criminal acts...
O. K! That's enough. Thank you very much.
We'll proceed with our live coverage.
But first a few messages from our sponsors.
Every breakfast is a trip...
with Tripis.
Tripis, the colored acid cereal.
Looks like you're even
more stupid than I've thought.
Not only the police,
now you've brought the television!
I didn't call them,
but don't worry,
they won't interfere in nothing.
Here, I've got the money in old bills,
inside of antifusion suitcase.
Now release my daughter!
Looks like there has been a change
who is going to
collect the ransom.
We continue live on J.Q.K.
You are hearing it?
Alright, someone bring me the
suitcase and I'll let the girl go.
Me! I'll do it.
Excuse me.
Hello! What's up?
Looks like, the victims boyfriend,
Luis Mar?a de Ostolaza, is going
to be the one who delivers the suitcase
to the kidnapper.
Yes, he's got the case.
The victim is being released and...
Looks like there's a problem...
- We got the money!
- What are you doing? Let him go!
- Patricia, come here!
- Patricia, go to your father!
Patricia, it's me...
Luis Mari... Ostolaza.
Shut up! Don't tell me what to do!
Uh!
Novelillas?
Pumbys...
What the fuck is this?
Enough with this fucking bullshit!
I've had it with the cameras
and the clowns in uniforms like you.
This is no joke, Orujo.
You just don't get it.
I've got all of my guys here,
aiming for your head.
You hear me?
Because you didn't bring the money
no one will leave this place alive.
That is exactly what
is going to happen, you fucker!
No one is gonna leave this place,
not the presentator,
not the miners, not you,
not this whore here,
not me!
Me neither!
We're all going to die,
You hear me? Everyone!
Right after I squeeze this button.
You know?
I think I totally lost it...
I've got nothing to lose.
45 years trying to succeed
in a job that I hate
and when the happiest day
of my life comes,
the wedding of my only daughter,
a group of knuckleheads shows up
and kills all of my guests.
And my daughter to!
Because you're not my daughter!
My daughter died,
violated by the terrorists
who took her innocence.
You are a whore!
What are you looking at, you fucks?
You think anyone is getting out of here?
You, sing something, god damn it!
A m? me gusta el pipiriripipi...
The moment of the Apocalypse has come.
Prepare to die!
Mr. Orujo was right,
prepare to die, motherfucker.
Alex, You're alive!
Yes, no thanks to you.
I've came to kill you.
- Terrific!
- Release her, you pig!
Jump, damn it!
Ahhhhhh!
Come on, let's get her!
Move your ass!
This is a hard one, Yarritu!
Well, it's not the first time, Garc?a.
Yeah, that's true.
- Give me a gun, I want to shoot!
- Get down, Patricia!
Go!
If you don't get out,
I'll rip your guts out!
What's going on?
Attention, members of the Mutant Action,
this is the police.
You are surrounded.
You cannot escape.
Come out with your hands up
and you won't get hurt.
Don't shoot, don't shoot!
I'm from the television!
I'm going to count to 3,
then get out: 1, 2...
Ahhhhhhhhh!
Ahhhhhhhhh!
Ah, they got me!
It's almost better.
This whole bar thing...
it wasn't a good idea, Garc?a.
Ram?n, this girl...
is not the right for you.
Damn!
Shit!
What's wrong, eh, what's wrong?
We are out of bullets, that's what,
and the police are waiting for us outside.
Patricia, the bomb!
The bomb!
The bomb!
Give me that, you are still useless, Alex.
Stop it, stop it!
We gotta get out of here, eh?
Juntos se van.
Hay algo nuevo en su caminar.
Ahora est?n solos
en compa??a,
pues su recuerdo
les seguir?.
Juntos se van.
A sus amigos
y a sus ideas
no olvidar?n.
Juntos se van.
Cuando algo es fuerte
se lleva dentro,
no hay nada m?s.
Juntos se van.
Son mutilados, pero
a?n hay brazos para luchar.
Y no olvidar.
No somos muchos,
pero muy pronto seremos m?s.
Seremos m?s.
ISeremos m?s!
Veis, aqu? estamos otra vez.
Veis, aqu? estamos otra vez.
Acci?n, venganza,
violencia, progreso.
Armados a conciencia
asumimos el reto,
vengaremos a las v?ctimas
del monte Taigeto.
Justicia ciega,
justicia en braille.
Para feos y mutilados
ha empezado ya el baile.
Empalamos culturistas,
quemamos gimnasios.
En la sauna se cuecen:
Son gusanos.
Y con l?mparas
de escroto de ciclista
sobornamos al que tensa
cuerdas de funambulista.
Somos peligrosos,
somos guerrilleros.
Terroristas diletantes,
tiembla mientras puedas,
esto no es un juego:
Es Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Mens sana in corpore tullido.
Mens sana in corpore tullido.
Esta consigna
nos mantiene siempre unidos.
Mutilaci?n obligatoria,
amputaci?n por decreto:
Queda prohibido
ser un hombre entero.
Cojos, siameses,
paral?ticos, ciegos,
unios a la causa,
juntos venceremos.
El Capit?n Silver
y Zarpa de Acero
nos ven orgullosos
siguiendo sus pasos
Podremos ser reyes,
follar sin descanso.
Podremos ser h?roes
sin piernas ni manos.
Somos peligrosos,
somos guerrilleros.
Terroristas diletantes,
tiembla mientras puedas,
esto no es un juego:
Es Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Acci?n Mutante.
Qu? erais cuando os encontr??
Eramos basura,
desecho de hospital!
Qui?n os sac? del arroyo
y os hizo lo que sois?
T?, Ram?n!
- Qu? sois ahora?
- Mutantes, mutantes, mutantes!
- Mutantes, mutantes, mutantes!
Haz como Johnny
y coge el fusil.
Haz como Johnny
y coge el fusil.
Mataremos guaperas
con o sin ti.
Translated by: V3R7l60
Corrections by: ZUBi.