Muscle Beach Party (1964) - full transcript

We're gassed up and headed
for the Surfers' Route

The guys are hot-doggers
and the honeys are cute

Got a waxed board of wood
and then we're on our way

Yeah, Easter vacation
just started today, now

We might stay till the middle of May, now

Grab your board and
follow us to Surfers' Holiday

Come along, the Surfers' Holiday

We've planned out the trip
for such a long, long time, oh

Working after school, gotta save every dime

And all the kids knew
they had to have work before play

Yeah, we'll build a fire
on the beach at night, now



Cuddle up and I'll hold you tight, now

Grab your board and follow us,
it's Surfers' Holiday

Come along to Surfers' Holiday

Come along, the Surfers' Holiday

Yeah, we'll build a fire
on the beach at night, now

Cuddle up and I'll hold you tight, now

Grab your board and follow us
to Surfers' Holiday

Surfers' Holiday

Okay, guys, let's get going!
Get those bags and those boards! Let's go!

Come on, Johnny boy.

Come on, everybody. Let's go!

But, honey...

Not again!

Boy, this is great!



Cowabunga!

I'm really tired.

- Good night, fellas.
- Good night.

- Animal, can you help me here?
- Why the blanket bit?

We might as well be staying at the YWCA.

Whose brainstorm was
the "his" and "hers" bit?

- Dee Dee's.
- Figures.

You're wasting your time.
This little thing won't stop them.

Don't worry, Animal,
if any of you want to defect...

we believe in peaceful co-existence.

Yeah. We'll be glad to take in refugees.

Okay, guys, knock it off. Bag some Z's.
Somebody shoot out the light.

Let's rest our eyeballs.

Forget it. We've just constructed
the Walls of Jericho.

I hope one of those guys can play a trumpet.

Let's sneak across the border.

You win some, you lose some.

Do you believe this?

Hey, let's go!

- Dig the Queen Mary.
- Yeah...

Deadhead, don't notice those things,
then you won't miss them.

Come on, let's hit it.

This is the life, Dee Dee.
Sun and the surf. This is it.

Can you send them back to the reservation?
The other braves might get lonesome.

Yeah.

Hey, chicks.

Heap big split.
Bring back hot dog, cold drink from wars.

Go. Split.

Anything you say.

Man, how do you stand it?

- Stand what?
- Being the greatest?

How do you stand it?

I hadn't thought about it that way.
How do I stand it?

I'll let you in on it, Dee Dee.

It's a monkey on my back. I'm hooked.

I'll tell the world you are.

Let me tell you.

Take a look at those waves out there.

Squint that surf.

They keep rolling in, like a belt.

5 feet, 6 feet, maybe 15, maybe 20.

When you stand on the point of them,
when you get on that step...

you know there's nothing out there
but you, the sea, the sky...

so mixed up, the whole world
turns over bright inside you.

You make it sound good.

That ain't all of it.
I think about it sometimes.

I think that out there,
farther out than that big white boat...

there's a wave, building.

Maybe it's 40 feet up to the crest, maybe 80.

That wave is in your head.

You know, that's the trouble with girls.

Girls don't fly.

Frankie, even a sea gull's
got to come down to earth sometime.

Not me, Dee Dee, not until the wings fall off.

- Frankie!
- Yeah.

I ran so your hot dog wouldn't get cold.

- I'm so sorry.
- Thanks a lot, Animal.

Remind me never to send you for hot coffee.

- Anyone for Dramamine?
- Are you sick, Dee Dee?

Only because I don't have wings.

- Forget it.
- Here, Dee Dee.

- Johnny, thank you.
- That's all right.

No, that's really sweet.
Frankie never does anything for me.

He's always too busy
thinking about 80-foot waves.

80-foot waves? Where?

Wow, here they come. Muscles Anonymous.

And the horses are on the track.

If it isn't Seabiscuit!

All right. Capes off!

Isn't this ridiculous? Do you believe that?

At least they know how to treat their women.

Yeah.

Are you all right, Jack Fanny?

Off.

Sorry, Jack Fanny.

Stand tall. Look smart. Come on.
Tall and straight.

Straighter and taller.

Today is the day of the latissimus dorsi.

We will give...

That creep's on my blanket.

- Yeah. Let's get him off it.
- Don't forget to say "please."

I'm not afraid of those muscle-bound jerks.

Yeah, they're not for real, anyway.

The latissimus is...

here. Now...

I may need your help.

Sorry. You were on his blanket.

- You made me fall.
- It was my blanket.

- It was in my way.
- It was in your way?

Wait a second, hoe-dad.

Nobody invited you
and your muscle farm to cut in here.

- You live there?
- That's right.

- We live over there.
- I know that.

I got an idea.

You stay on your side of the beach,
and we'll stay on ours.

The beach is public. It's for everybody.

I don't think I made myself clear.

- Him.
- "Him" what?

Frankie! Deadhead!

Help!

Johnny! That's a cuckoo way to travel.

Next time, try the train!

Frankie!

Help!

Come on, Frank!

- See that line?
- Yeah.

That side of the beach is yours,
and this side is mine.

- Get it?
- Get it?

I get it!

That's the double line.
Cross it and you run into oncoming traffic.

- Right?
- Right!

- Right.
- Yeah.

- I'm dizzy.
- Yeah.

- Did I do that?
- Yeah.

What's so funny?

Always said you'd make headlines.

What? Are you nuts?
I said a 26-story building, not 25.

Enter! I want to have a 26-story building.

They never have a 13th floor.

I want a 13th floor, I like the 13th floor.

All right, have a 13th floor.
But it's very unlucky.

Not if it's rented.

- Italy coming through.
- Italy. Hello.

Yeah, Gino, this is S.Z.

Look. Yeah, weather is beautiful.
Yeah, nice trip. Listen to me.

Buy Sicily.

What?

Okay, buy half of Sicily.
Let Sinatra have the other half.

All right.

It's a nice place to put up tract homes.

S.Z., I went ahead, just as you wanted.

I've checked it all out.
They're out there, all of them.

Especially him. That big one.

- Do you want me to wake the Contessa?
- No, I'll take care of that.

Do you think you're doing the right thing?

Of course I'm doing the right thing.
I always do.

She's been moping in that cabin
ever since we lost that flamenco dancer...

off the coast of Gibraltar.
I had to promise her something.

I think that girl's had too much.

You're a lawyer. What do you know
about beautiful, lonely women?

I know that girl hasn't been alone
for two weeks since she was 18 years old.

- You're stuffy.
- Yes.

I want you to put up a space needle in lowa.

All we own out in lowa are cornfields.

Stick a space needle in the middle
of the corn! Give the corn a little class.

Scout around.
When you hear something, let me know.

Mr. Matts, Madrid calling.

Cancel Spain.

We've got to leave something
for somebody else.

Julie!

Julie, it's day.

Coffee.

Coffee.

Julie?

What kind of a day
did you make for me, S. Z?

You just bought Sicily.

- Do I want Sicily?
- Who doesn't?

Had to give half to a singer.
You're building a space needle in lowa.

I wish your father were alive to see space
from a needle, and you say "Aww."

Julie, you're one of the giants.

You build skyscrapers, hotels, whole cities.

- It's boring.
- Boring? Whole cities?

Julie, where would people live?

Enter!

- Good morning, Fairchild.
- Good morning, Contessa.

Goodbye, Fairchild.

I don't know.

Sometimes you don't act like
the daughter of Big Rocky Valenti.

My name is not Valenti.

My name is Juliana Giotto-Borgini.
I am a contessa.

Giotto-Borgini.

You get married so you can have
a name like a foreign car.

I like my name. It's sexy.

Only when you say it.

S.Z., you have no respect.
You know I'm a widow.

Pardon me,
I didn't notice that you're wearing black.

- S.Z., do you have any news?
- Yeah, we found him.

You did?

But I think it's ridiculous,
falling in love with a picture in a magazine.

Put some clothes on.
I'll meet you on deck in about five minutes.

All right. Thank you.

Theodore, I'm going to need you over there
to look after things.

I'll hate it.

What is there to hate?
Beautiful beach, healthy kids.

They don't look too bad.

Candy's gonna start. Watch her. Wow.
Come on, Candy.

There she goes.

I'm glad I'm not out there riding the curl.

Once Candy gets started, it's all over.

Wow, that gal's got power.
Look at over there.

How about that?
She must've knocked him 20 feet.

All muscles are beautiful.
The latissimus is beautiful, too...

because it's a muscle.

- Do you understand?
- I have a question.

Later.

- You like it?
- Get me over there.

- He's a giant. He needs a keeper.
- I'll keep him.

Come on, S.Z.

You, move that boat.
We want to get out to the chopper.

To make the muscles beautiful,
you must always have beautiful muscles.

Beautiful muscles build up a guy's beauty...

and the basis of the latissimus...

is to bring out the beauty
in the spinal column of the rib cage.

That's why it's called Beauty
Latissimus Dorsi Spinal Column Rib Cage.

- Lower! Go lower!
- It's not a submarine!

There he is! Oh, my.

He's even more gorgeous than in photos.

- Lower! Go lower!
- Lf we go any lower, we'll cut off their heads!

I'm not interested in their heads.

- Will you please land?
- Land? Where?

I don't care. Just anywhere.
Just get me down.

Anywhere. Land anywhere.

Wait a minute. Will you wait a sec?

Will you guys...

Will you hold it?

- This is one crazy beach.
- You can say that again.

This is one crazy beach.

- What are you trying to do, kill my boys?
- Not exactly. Who are you?

- Can't you read? Jack Fanny.
- He's Jack Fanny.

I would keep that quiet.

- Hey, wait a second...
- There he is.

- Wait a minute.
- Jack Fanny...

she came 5,000 miles to get a look
at that beast, in the flesh.

Relax. Let her take a good look, okay?

Come on, Jack Fanny.

What is this?

You're looking at him
like he's some prime bull or something.

- Quiet, will you? She's concentrating.
- On what?

I don't like the look in her eye.
That's not a ladylike look.

She is not a lady. She is a contessa.
And she's very rich. Rich.

Rich.

Yeah?

I own him.

We got a contract.

You own him?

This magnificently shaped,
perfectly carved...

piece of human real estate belongs to you?

How much?

I mean, can I buy just him,
or do I have to take the whole set?

I want to be formally introduced.

Sure, sure.

All right, boys, line up. Stand tall.

Let's have a straight line.
Let's look real nice for the lady here.

Stand tall now. Let's look wonderful.
This is Biff.

This is Rock.

This is Tug.

This is Riff.

This is Hulk.

This is Sulk.

And this is Clod.

Clod.

- I made up all those names myself.
- Wonderful. Yourself?

- What's his name?
- This? This is Mr. Galaxy.

Flex Martian.

I made up that name, too.

I had a feeling that was one of your names.

Flex Martian,
this is the Contessa Juliana Giotto-Borgini.

Julie, meet Flex.

- Glad to meet you, Flex.
- Nice to meet you, lady.

- What's going on?
- Can't you see they want to be alone?

But I don't think it's right...

You've got to understand,
we have a lot of business to talk about.

They just have to do things like that.

- You are so strong.
- I'm the strongest.

- And so handsome.
- I'm the handsomest.

- And so big.
- Yes, ma'am.

- I want to be alone with you.
- Did you see this tricep?

- I want to take you away with me.
- Look at the way I can make it ripple.

- Right now.
- I haven't had my lunch.

I'll feed you.

Yeah, yeah,
you want him bigger than Mr. Galaxy.

- What's bigger than a galaxy?
- Think of something.

Yeah, I'll think of something.

- I'll have to show it to my partner.
- What partner?

- A silent partner. Mr. Strangdour.
- Mr. Strangdour?

Yeah. He bends things.

Turn around.

- We're taking Flex back for lunch!
- Ta-ta.

You gotta bring him back!

We'll bring him back soon as
we're through with him, Jack Fanny.

There's no room in there for him with us.

There's no room in there for him without us.

Relax. Flex thinks of everything.

- Should've thought of another name for...
- Come on, get in the chopper.

- Lift it!
- Lift it.

Flex, let go!

Don't go, Flex!

Don't let go, Flex!

Don't let go!

Will you beat that?

Yes, look at him,
and he doesn't even have wings.

Come back!

Come back for supper!

Have a nice lunch!

I wish I could find a drummer
who could swing like that.

Surf's up!

- Surf's up!
- Surf's up!

- Frankie, that air.
- Yeah, warm.

Warm, like somebody's arms around you.

- You've got a funny face.
- It's the way I comb my hair.

Funny mouth.

- You're not laughing.
- I don't feel like it.

Come on, honey, everything's going great.
What's the matter now?

- I've been thinking.
- That's a great way to ruin an evening.

That's just it.

"Relax. Take it easy.
Let the whole world slide."

You've got so much going for you,
and you're just wasting it.

- I'm happy, you goof.
- That's not enough.

You should be making your life count for
something besides the next big wave.

- I don't want to go through that again.
- I do.

You're beginning to sound like
something more than just my girl.

- Like you want to slip the handcuffs on.
- Like your wife?

- You said it, I didn't.
- You always cop out.

Sure I cop out. I'm too young to die.

I'm talking about a house, not a coffin.

Sure. Time-payment city. Ice boxes and TV.

- A family with kids.
- Two-car garage and bills.

- Being together.
- Being in hock. Working 8:00 to 5:00.

Honey, this beach is free.

The sky goes straight on up and your life
is your own. Isn't that enough?

- No, it isn't.
- It is for me.

This is the way I want it.
I want it easy, and I want it free.

I want it without the ropes,
squares, bills or bombs.

This is my world,
because I don't ask anything of it.

- That's just it. All you ever do is take.
- I only take what's free.

You swing with me on that,
or you don't swing at all.

Cool it, Dee Dee. I'm gonna hit the surf.

A boy needs a girl

he can count on

A boy needs a girl

he can love

He needs a girl who'll share

his love with tender care

And know she's the girl

he's dreamin' of

A girl needs a boy

her own special boy

A boy to love her more

each day

A boy needs a girl

his own little girl

So please believe me when

I say

A girl needs a boy

And I need you

A boy needs a girl

Can't you see?

I offer you my heart

Oh, won't you take my heart

And say you're the boy

for me?

Do you understand all of this?

Let's go over the last part again.

Very well.

"And furthermore,
for various sundries and gratuities...

"and exclusive of paragraph 2-AC,
the party of the second part..."

That is us.

"... gets legal rights and custody
to Biff, Rock, Riff...

"Tug, Hulk, Sulk and Clod...

"and all accessories, including Mr. Galaxy."

I'm worried about him.
Why ain't he back yet?

He'll be back. She's never lost one yet.

All right.

- You say I get my name on all the gyms?
- All 273 of them.

And the Jack Fanny
"Enriched Whole-Wheat Germ Bread"?

Every slice in the shape of Flex Martian.

- I should talk to Mr. Strangdour.
- What's that?

I talk to him about everything.

- He bends things.
- Mr. Fanny, just sign here, please?

- Let's go over it again.
- Again?

We've already been over it five times.

Yeah.

But I like the part about the gyms
with my name.

Very well. Just once more.

"And furthermore,
for various sundries and gratuities..."

- Okay, big boy, you're home.
- Sorry about that.

I know it's early, but I've already missed
my wheat germ once today.

I understand, Flex.

Wheat germ helps to make the muscles hard.

Did you happen to notice
my rhomboideus majors?

How could I have missed it?

- Wheat germ.
- Good old wheat germ.

I'll fix him up for you in the morning.

Flex, where you been?

It's almost 10:00. You should have been
beddy-bye an hour ago.

- He was with me.
- I was with her.

- They were with each other. Understand?
- I can spell.

Flex, go inside.
There's some hot mush on the table for you.

- Good night, Julie.
- Get the hot mush, boy. Mush, big boy.

- He hasn't signed the papers yet.
- What happened?

- He reads kinda funny.
- We have a language barrier. English.

I think I'll take a walk.

Yes, do that. We're gonna hammer out
some things anyway.

Let's put our cards on the table.

I don't want to take advantage of you,
Jack Fanny, however...

A boy needs a girl

he can count on

A boy needs a girl

he can love

He needs a girl who'll share

his love with tender care

And know she's the girl

he's dreamin' of

A girl needs a boy

she can cling to

A girl needs a boy

she can love

She needs him by her side

so she can turn with pride

And say he's the boy

she's dreamin' of

A boy needs a girl

his own little girl

A girl to love him

more each day

A girl needs a boy

her own special boy

So please believe me

when I say

A boy needs a girl

And I need you

A girl needs a boy

Can't you see?

I offer you my heart

Oh, won't you take my heart

And say you're the girl

for me?

That was nice.

Hello.

Hi.

Mind if I share your beach?

Be my guest.

- Do you live here?
- When I can.

How's Mr. Muscles?
Did you bring him back alive?

He's alive, all right.

It's funny, no matter where you are...

water and sky always look the same.

Big and sad when the moon comes up.

- What's your name?
- Frankie.

- You're cute.
- It's the way I comb my hair.

My name is Julie.

You know, when you sang,
it gave me a very funny feeling.

Julie's a nice name.

It's really Juliana.

That's a nice name, too.

You move fast.

- Do you mind?
- Yeah!

When there are moves to be made,
I want to make them.

I don't like to wait.

I had that feeling.

You know,
you're not like anyone I've ever met.

Maybe you're lucky.

I don't think so.

Hi, Dee Dee. You remember...

- Her name's Julie.
- I remember her, the bride of Godzilla.

- Wait a second, Dee Dee...
- Did you run out of musclemen?

No. It's just that he looked so sad,
like a lost puppy.

Maybe you didn't notice his license.

- I didn't even notice his leash.
- Wait a second...

- Perhaps I should leave.
- No, wait.

This is a public beach.
Dee Dee, calm down...

One question,
did you kiss him 'cause he's lovable...

or because he's the only man on the beach?

Because he looked hungry.
His last meal obviously didn't satisfy him.

It's a good thing you happened along.

I'm sure you could cater supper
for an entire army.

Now that's in bad taste.

No, one man at a time.
I like to be a devoted chef.

Right now you're serving a lot of free meals,
sort of a one-woman bread line.

- That smarts.
- I can afford it.

Then he must be a charity case.

Wait a second,
the football would like to say something.

- I'm not through.
- Figures.

As he said, this is a public beach,
and we're supposed to keep it clean.

- That's really in bad taste.
- Then perhaps you'd better leave.

- Very good.
- I plan to.

Don't quit now, Dee Dee.
I think you're ahead.

Okay, how's this for a closer?

Does it hurt?

Yeah.

I am sorry I said those things to her.

I'm sorry she started it.
She really didn't mean to.

- Now where are you going?
- I have a lot of arrangements to make.

- I think I will be in love with someone.
- And you have to arrange that?

Yes, especially if that someone
is going to be you.

I don't deserve such happiness.

- You got it?
- I got it.

But Flex has got to win something
bigger than Mr. Galaxy.

That, or no deal.

He'll win. I don't know what, but he'll win.

- How can you be sure?
- The Contessa will be the judge.

He'll win because he's strong.

That's right. Go ahead, just sign here.

Tonight you'll have a good night's sleep.

- I ain't tired.
- Lift something heavy.

Jack, it's a pleasure to do business
with a Fanny like you.

S. Z?

I am in love.

I know, I just made the deal.
We own seven King Kongs.

I don't want them now.
Couldn't you sell them to a zoo?

You don't want them now?

What have you been up to?

- I met a boy.
- You met a boy?

She met a boy, on a deserted beach,
in the middle of the night.

- You've got a talent.
- He's handsome and young.

- And he sings like an angel.
- A choirboy? She met a choirboy.

No, silly, he's all grown up. Let's go.

- We have to make all-new plans.
- But, S.Z., what about them?

Those supermen?

We've got signed contracts.

- Who cares?
- It's expensive.

I've found someone to love.
Isn't that what you wanted?

I have a feeling it's another of those
"love now, pay later" plans.

Theodore, you handle the muscle bunch.

Work on them.
Maybe you can save something.

- You never let me down.
- Hope no one ever does.

- But...
- No buts!

Hello, lgor?

Is Mr. Strangdour there?

Mr. Strangdour?

It's like I said, gyms all over the country...

our own bread, a TV series, with her money.

You like that, Mr. Strangdour?
We'll make millions.

But what's more important,
we can give the whole world the word!

Strength, Mr. Strangdour!

Everybody will think "strength."

Not only that, but with Flex...

they promised to make him
bigger than Mr. Galaxy.

Bigger, Mr. Strangdour.

Okay, good talking to you, Mr. Strangdour.

Hey, that's them.

Look smart. Okay, stand up tall, men.
Come on.

Taller! Stand smart, stand tall.
That's what I want.

Hi! Hey, here we are! Where are you going?

Here we are.

Hi, Jack Fanny.

Gosh sakes.

Why are they going to the kid's house?

How do I know?
Maybe they got lost or something.

There they are. Okay, get ready. Stand tall.

Hi!

Over here. Flex!

You guys, back in the house!

Hi! Guess you didn't see us over there.
Mr. Strangdour said the deal is set.

- Right.
- Then we can start.

- Wrong.
- Wrong?

You promised to make me
a Mister something, right away.

We're working on it.

Julie, what about me?
You haven't said a word to me.

Julie, say something to this mountain,
will you?

I only have one thing to say to you, Flex.
I'll never forget you.

How do you like that?
She'll never forget you.

Wilbur, Cappy's Place.

Let go!

- I think something happened.
- I want my Julie back.

Forget about her, Flex.
We've got our deal. Isn't that enough?

No.

I'm the only man good enough for her!

If I don't get her, I'll do something vicious.

You'll get her back!

Jack Fanny will get to the bottom of this.

Put me down, before I get a nosebleed.

You know I'm a bleeder. Put me down!

Hear ye, hear ye, water babies.

Now, what you've been waiting for.
Listen, while I hover above you.

The king of the surf guitar,
Dick Dale and the Del Tones.

You can have your girls
and silly romances, now

On a wave is where I'll take my chance, now

When the surf is breakin',
you know I'm ready, girl

Got no eyes for chicks
and time for a steady girl

While the other guys talk to the chicks

I'm at the beach now, gonna get my kicks

I know a gal who'd make a real great wife

Guess who?

- Bluebeard!
- Wrong.

- King Henry the Eighth.
- Closer.

- I was right the first time.
- Dee Dee.

What's the matter?
Too much pizza give you heartburn?

- Don't they ever stop?
- Let's start, come on.

- Come on, Dee Dee, don't be like that.
- Why shouldn't I still be mad?

Because you're wrong,
and it's not polite to hold a grudge.

I'll hold it as long as I want.

Wouldn't you rather dance?

Besides, a boy needs a girl he can count on.

That's our trouble.
It's supposed to work the other way, too.

You know, if there was no music here,
this place would be raided.

There he is, the one with the pretty brunette.

You mean, he's the one?

- I sure hope he sings better than he dances.
- Wait until you hear him.

All right, you squares, take a seat.

What? Who said that? Where...

Me, I said that. Up here.

- What is that?
- I don't know, but I'm glad it's in a cage.

Wait a second, I'll come right down.

I don't get a chance
to talk to real people very often.

Be careful, he's going to reach out.

It's me, Cappy. I own this joint.

What're they doing with that box?
Is it a bomb?

Relax, it's recording equipment.
We want to make a recording.

$100, $150...

$200. What kind of recording?

A recording of him.

- Who him?
- Him, that wild waltzer.

You mean Frankie the Mouth?

Is that how they call him?

That's what I call him.
I don't listen to anything that goes on here.

I'll show you how I work it.

Peace, quiet, heaven, bliss.

Cappy, I'd like to talk to you for a minute.

Silence, beautiful silence!

Do you know what this place is?
This is a nuthouse.

And do you know who's running it?
The nuts are running it.

I think it's fun.

What was that?

I'm seeing it, and I'm feeling it,
but I don't believe it.

Do you feel anything?

I think it only works on men.

That's just impossible.

Any questions now?

No.

That chick's really got the power.
Probably related to the fourth dimension.

She looks like
she's moving somewhere else.

What were you saying
before she flattened you?

How come you're in there protected...

and I'm out here getting bumped off?

- Sanctuary.
- Sanctuary?

Sanctuary from them.
I had to build this to protect myself.

I used to have a beautiful Cappy's Place,
even better than this.

And they completely demolished it,
and nearly me with it...

and on account of a stranger, like you.

You're not an anthropologist
or explorer or something, are you?

- Sex maniac, maybe?
- I don't have any hobbies.

I can't take any chances.

I'm telling you, Julie, this is a nuthouse...

and that's the head nut, up there.

- I'm getting out of here.
- Not yet, S.Z., definitely not yet.

Uh-oh, the Mafia's back.

Don't start. Julie, what are you doing here?

I'm here because I want to hear you sing.

Sure, Caruso, go ahead and sing.

Wait a second, Dee Dee.

Thanks a lot.

- Frankie, I really did come to hear you sing.
- Yeah, but...

Thank you.

All right.

- Dick?
- Yeah, Frank?

- Hit it.
- Start it up.

If you really want to swing,
Cappy's is the place to go

Run, run, everybody's runnin' wild

The band's working out,
and the sax man's starting to blow

Run, run, everybody's runnin' wild

So come on, little girl,
let's really put on a show

Run, run, everybody's runnin' wild

Yeah, the kid's are clapping
while the guitar's wailing away

Run, run, everybody's runnin' wild

They're movin' and groovin'
and yellin' for what I say

Run, run, everybody's runnin' wild

Yeah, we can't stop now,
gonna go till the break of day

Run, run, everybody's runnin' wild

Aw, runnin' wild

Everybody's gotta grab a chick now

Yeah, runnin' wild

Everybody's gonna get their kicks now

Well, we can't stop now,
gonna go till the break of day

Run, run, everybody's runnin' wild

Let's get together,
'cause that's the way I want it to be

Run, run, everybody's runnin' wild

The more we dance, now,
the better you look to me

Run, run, everybody's runnin' wild

When the party's over,
there's a place I want you to see

Run, run, everybody's runnin' wild

Well, wild

Yeah, runnin' wild

Yeah, man, runnin' wild

Yeah, runnin' wild

Everybody's gonna get their kicks now

- Frankie, you were marvelous.
- Thank you, Julie.

Darling, I have a surprise for you.

- See those men over there?
- Yeah.

Your song is down on tape.
We're going to make a record of it.

A million copies, all on your own label.

We'll give you to the world.
You'll be a sensation.

With my money and your talent,
you'll be a star, you're going to be famous!

That does it!

You listen to me, Miss Moneybags.

If you think I'm putting up with this,
you'd better wipe your fuzzy brain clean.

You start peddling your pasta
somewhere else right now...

because if you don't,
I'll send you into orbit...

with a blastoff that will make
Friendship 7 look like a wet firecracker!

Dee Dee, do something about your temper.
Have you tried Miltown?

- Julie, baby!
- Flex!

- What's going on around here?
- Yeah, what's going on?

I want to talk to you.

- Please, let me down!
- But, Julie...

We've got a contract. You ain't quitting.

- I'm not, I'll give you everything I promised.
- But it's more than that.

She's hurt Flex's feelings.

Oh, she's mean.

It's not that I don't like muscles anymore.
But I've found something more exciting.

Him.

You mean, that little thing?

You heard her, Gargantua.

You mean, you would trade Gargantua...

I mean, Mr. Galaxy...

for that undernourished mouse?

- Would you?
- I sure would.

How about that?

Yeah, how about that?

You think we ain't got dignity,
we ain't got honor?

Flex, for that mouse?
We ain't standing for it.

And that can mean only one thing. War!

- War!
- No.

Okay, fellas.
Come on, we're ready, come on.

- Let's get out of here.
- Come on!

War!

Fellas, everybody!

Surf's up!

Get those guys. What are you waiting for?

Lover boy, let's see you get out of this one.

He's all mine.

- No.
- Surf's up.

You were wonderful.
You sang, and I felt something right here.

- Do you really mean it?
- Of course I do.

- No, I mean about the records and all that.
- I mean everything I say to you.

Julie, I don't know if I want that.

I mean,
I've got everything going for me right here.

I've got the surf, the sky and the beach.

But, Frankie, there is that and much more.
There is me.

Julie, you know, you're beautiful.

You really are.

Where do you go on that big boat?

- Anywhere you like.
- The Islands, Makaha?

Makaha, Tahiti, straight across to Australia.

I hear it rolls in Australia.

The surf comes in for miles
off the Barrier Reef.

The riders look like gulls
skimming the crests of the waves.

We'd be good for each other.

Would we?

I can show you so much.
I can open the world for you.

You'll see Tangiers in October,
we'll cruise the Greek islands in summer...

and Paris,
when the streets are wet with rain.

- It's an 80-foot wave.
- It's even higher than that.

How far does it ride?

As far as you want.

As far as I want.

Come along with me,
and we'll all have some fun

To a swingin' little beach off the 101

There's a new dance craze
that they're gonna teach

The only place you'll learn it
is down at Muscle Beach

Flex up your biceps, and that's how it goes

Turn your head, and strike up a pose

Do the Mashed Potatoes,
and you stick out your chest

The guys are lookin' good,
but the girls are lookin' best

Everybody do it now

Oh, a little muscle now

Everybody kick the sand

Come on, now, just like a muscle man

Good heavens!
Where are the mothers of America?

It's the latest dance that's goin' round

And if you can't cut it, you're muscle-bound

Do the scruffle-shuffle, and kick up the sand

Pick up your chick,
and you're a huckle-buckle man

Flex up your biceps, and that's how it goes

You turn your head,
and you strike up a pose

Do the Mashed Potatoes,
and you stick out your chest

The guys are lookin' good,
but the girls are lookin' best

Everybody do it now

Oh, a little muscle now

Look what they're doing now.

- They're doing exercises.
- They ain't doing them good.

Exercises? My Trapezius!

Do you know what they're doing?
They're making fun of us.

That's it, that's the last straw.

Inside!

Everybody kick the sand

Lift something heavy. It helps me to think.

Crush them. Not one of them,
not two of them, but all of them.

Crush them in our mighty fists.
Break them into shattered little pieces.

Twist them like a wet bathing suit,
till they cry for mercy.

- And then what?
- Break their bones, one by one, snap.

Crush their feet, gouge their eyes,
wring their necks.

Pull their hair, bite them,
break their glasses and everything!

Come in!

Good evening, gentlemen...

and accessories.

- I think we have some unfinished business.
- You!

- Now, Mr. Fanny?
- Now? What, am I interrupting something?

No, you're just the man I want to see.

Clod, put that thing down.

- Down?
- Yeah, on him.

You can't do this!

My little surfin' woody
is the cleanest on the street

With a fuel-injected Chrysler

now she's really hard to beat

Surfin', surfin', woody

Those big old JE pistons
with that brand-new Vertex mag

Hold it.

- Lover boy's back.
- Hi, Frankie.

Would you believe it?
One little record, and wham!

Yeah, we heard it before. It's not bad.

Not bad? It's great! I'm cutting everybody in.

I can see it. This summer we hit Makaha...

straight down the Bonzai Line,
and it's all on me.

Sounds great. I know your first one
will be a record breaker, man.

We might as well start now.

Don't break mine.
I want to use mine for a skim board.

All right, now, hold it.
Come on, knock it off!

This is going a little too far.

- What's the matter?
- You want to say something, just say it.

Okay, you tell the Contessa
that we said thanks, but no thanks.

- You and that piece of pizza.
- Cool it, Animal.

- We've been thinking...
- Sounds like it.

Whose brains you been using,
Flex Martian's?

- No, mine.
- Figures.

Cut it. You better listen to me,
and listen good.

You wanna play big time, okay.
But don't pull us in.

Don't do us favors. Those waves are too big.

You get wiped out.
You swallow a lot of salt water.

Not me, Johnny.
I can ride it on top the whole way.

That's cool. But count us out.
You ride it alone.

Solid-gold surfboards don't float well.

- Come on, let's split down to Cappy's.
- Yeah.

Frank, I'm sorry, man, but I had to.

Sure.

- Johnny, we...
- It's okay.

Good luck with la dolce vita.

Frankie's down on the beach.
You probably missed him.

It's around the bend,
near the rocks down there.

- Then what are you doing up here?
- I've had enough of moonlit beaches.

You don't sound as if you care.

If I sounded like I cared,
would it change anything?

Then you won't mind?

- Mind what?
- Frankie and I are going away together.

You are?

Yes, tonight.

Tonight?

Ciao.

You are not mad?

Mad?

You just don't have any idea how mad I am.

But, more than anything,
I want Frankie to be happy...

and if this is what he wants,
this is what he can have.

Okay, swell. Goodbye.

That Frankie's a nice kid...

and he had a nice girl, too,
until you bit him.

That wasn't nice.

And what am I, S. Z?

Just because I have too much money,
I can't be nice?

I can't love a nice boy?
I can't have what they have?

There's a difference, Julie.

There's people for people.

- You don't fit with that kid, that's all.
- I could learn.

No, but you'd make him learn.

- Hi, baby.
- Hi, darling.

- Hi, S.Z.
- Hi, baby!

- Are you ready?
- I'm always ready.

Then hurry.
I've such a marvelous trip planned.

- I wanna tell you all about it, too.
- I've heard already, S.Z.

Yeah, but I wanna tell you what it's like,
life with la Contessa.

I got lots of work to do. I manage her estate,
take care of the hotels and things.

- But you're really gonna have the life, right?
- Right.

Just picture it.
Sitting on the boat, having a drink...

- getting a suntan, you laugh a little.
- Sounds great.

And at night, it's just you and Julie,
alone under the stars.

Unless, if you go to the gambling casino.

Frank, how about that?

- You like to gamble?
- I don't have much, but I wouldn't mind.

But Julie's got lots of money.
You wouldn't mind gambling with that.

She'll let you keep the winnings.

- Yes, but...
- And she'll buy you clothes.

- Anything you want.
- Maybe a sports car, even.

- I thought I was supposed to sing.
- Yes, darling, you are.

Julie, we'll buy him a nightclub.
How about that?

And we hire people, we pay them to come in
and sit down and to applaud.

Wait a second.
You're saying I'm gonna live off Julie.

Darling, don't listen to him.
That's the wrong way to put it.

Let me put it this way.

You're a bird in a gilded cage,
she lets you out occasionally...

and the two of you read
the Wall Street Journal together.

- Isn't that a pretty picture?
- No, I don't think it is.

Darling, please don't listen to him.
It's not that way.

What it's going to be,
you're going to be my prot?g?.

Yeah, like she had four painters,
and she had two musicians...

and the Spanish dancer, a flamenco guy
that screwed himself into the ground.

And the bullfighter she picked up in Spain...

a guy with a sword,
until the bull caught him with a horn.

Then there was a guy
with a chisel and a hammer, a sculptor.

He filled up the ship with marble,
and we nearly sunk off Africa or someplace.

She called them all prot?g?s.
Know what I call them? Puppy dogs!

S.Z., that's enough.

I don't know how to thank you.

You don't have to thank me.
It's part of my job.

Julie, this time was different.
Someone could have gotten hurt.

- Maybe even you.
- Now I'm hurt!

I love him, S.Z.

I really love him.

Now, children of the surf...

you think there are
seven wonders of the world?

Well, here's the eighth. Little Stevie Wonder.

Everybody come on, yeah, yeah

Clap your hands, yeah

Everybody come on, yeah, yeah

Clap your hands, yeah, yeah

Come on and clap your hands,
stomp your feet

Get with the rhythm of the Happy Street

'Cause that's my street, Happy Street

Everybody sing out, yeah, yeah

Hallelu

Everybody sing out, yeah, yeah

Hallelu

Oh, hallelu, ain't that a treat?

Oh, lots of lovin' on Happy Street

'Cause that's my street, yeah, Happy Street

Everybody come on, yeah, yeah

Clap your hands

Everybody come on, yeah, yeah

Clap your hands

You're gonna clap your hands,
stomp your feet

Yeah, get with the rhythm of Happy Street

'Cause that's my street, Happy Street

Come on, clap your hands, yeah, yeah

on Happy Street

Everybody come on, yeah, yeah

on Happy Street

Yeah, come on, yeah, on Happy Street

'Cause when you're happy,
you make me happy

on Happy Street

- Johnny, get me out of here.
- Dee Dee.

Dee Dee, you'll sit right here and listen.
I've got something to say.

- Whatever it is, I don't want to hear it.
- You sit down and be quiet.

I've got something to say,
and I wanna say it in front of you all.

How about bon voyage?

Wait, I owe someone an apology,
and I want to say it in front of all of you.

- Aren't you a little late?
- Why don't you sing for your supper?

The surfin' gigolo

Is often on the go

His surfboard's getting cold

While he's diggin' for her gold!

Knock it off! I said, hold it!

You guys put me down good
a while ago on the beach...

and I listened.
Now, you're gonna listen to me!

Dee Dee, I'm sorry.

I hope you can forgive me
for what almost happened.

You guys were right, and I was wrong.

The air was so thin up on that big wave
that I went a little stupid.

I've come down to earth now, and I realize.

Dee Dee, if it's not too late...

I love you...

and I guess nothing will ever change that.

I wanted to tell you back at the house...

but I suddenly thought I better get here fast.

You see, I like you a lot, Julie.

But it's like S.Z. Said,
"It's people for people."

And it's also people for places.

This is my place, and these are my people.

This is where I belong.
I wouldn't fit into your life.

That's why I'm here, Frankie,
to tell you I understand.

Maybe, in another place at another time,
things might have been different.

They're gonna be different,
starting right now!

- Julie!
- Flex!

- He can't have you.
- Let me go.

- Wait, you don't understand.
- I understand everything.

- Fanny, you're not...
- Help!

Theodore! What are you doing up there?

Come down this minute,
and help straighten this out!

- All right, fellas, put him down over there.
- Help!

Theodore, you come down!
This is gonna cost you your job!

Help!

And that's the start. Onward, men!

- The war's begun!
- Wait a minute, Fanny!

- Onward!
- Are you guys with me?

No! They're not gonna ruin my place again!

Yes, they are.

Their bones, break them.
Break them in half. Squeeze them.

Step on their eyes, gouge out their heads!

Stamp their necks!
Wring them like a wet bathing suit!

Destroy all of them!
Don't hurt your muscles!

Don't just lay there.
Get up and do something.

Watch yourself!

Don't do that!

No, fellas, please!

Come on, you guys!

Thanks.

Wonder if I'm a bad influence on these kids.

Come on, Googoo!

Too bad, baby!

Will you stop that? You'll hurt somebody!

Don't get excited! That was close!

Use secret weapon, use it!

Dick Dale! Play, Dick Dale.

Get 'em now!

You don't aim good.
You got a weapon, but you're a bad aimer.

Follow that sight.
The big one, get the big one.

You're getting upset, you guys!

Squeeze them! Step on their eyes!
Gouge out their heads!

I'm tellin' you!

Break them in half!

- That wasn't nice.
- Sorry.

"Now I lay me down to sleep..."

- Flex, watch it!
- Help!

Stop that nonsense!

Stop that nonsense!

It's the boss, Mr. Strangdour.

You. What are you doing here?

We got them, Mr. Strangdour,
and we're going to crush them...

because they hurt Flex's dignity.

You!

You stoop to violence?

You forgot the code of the strong man?

Wait for me in my office.

I'll talk to you later.

I think the kid didn't hear me.

Applicazione dolorosa...

The painful one.

Now, put that kid down, do you hear?
Gently!

Yes, Papa.

Thank you, sir.

Don't I know you?

Well, now...

you might have seen my face quite often.

It just so happens
that I'm the strongest man in the world.

And you, you young creep...

you're much too young to look at girls,
you hear me?

Come with me to the office.

Please, Papa, don't spank me.

Don't spank me, Papa,
please, don't spank me.

Do you believe that?

- Hi, gang.
- Hi, Frankie, hi, Dee Dee.

- You know I love you.
- I think you've said that before.

- And I'm going to go right on saying it.
- I don't mind.

Look who's here!

- It's Deadhead!
- Yeah, Deadhead!

- He really went through that wall, didn't he?
- What wall?

Sit, Deadhead, sit.

He'll be all right.
Tomorrow we'll buy him a leash.

There's Julie's boat. It's leaving.

Are you sorry?

I've got you. That's all I ever wanted.

I hope I never see the likes of them again.

Relax, Grumpy, we're on our way.

Where are the mothers of America?

- I'll miss him, S.Z.
- I know.

But not for long.

Where to now, Julie?

No place. It's people for people, S.Z.

A girl needs a boy

she can love

She needs him by her side

so she can turn with pride

And say he's the boy

she's dreaming of

What are you trying to do, kill my boys?

Where are the mothers of America?