Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996) - full transcript
This is a movie within a TV movie within a made-for-video movie. A boy is watching TV when a power outage forces him to talk to his grandpa for entertainment. His grandpa, a former screenwriter, re-tells an old screenplay about Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders. In it, Merlin sets up an enchanting store in a modern-day strip mall, accompanied by his gleeful wife and gnomes, snakes, dragons, etc. From this framing device, we then see two stories about people's encounters with items from the shop. The first sequence (created for this film but looking like an episode of "Tales From The Darkside") involves a pompous, cranky newspaper critic who begins casting spells using Merlin's spell book. The second story, an edited version of the full length movie, The Devil's Gift, is about an evil monkey doll (you know, the wicked grin and the cymbals?) who kills every time his hands clap. Merlin of the 1990s is disjointedly tied-in with the 1980 movie.
( MUSIC PLAYING )
( BURPS )
( GIGGLES )
Excuse me, Thomas!
( SIGHS )
Well, what should I
do now, Thomas?
Go on, tell me!
Thomas?
Why have you stopped
talking to me?
Thomas?
Thomas Dawnston, are you there?
All right, who's the wise guy?
( THUNDER )
Well, if you're not Thomas,
then who are you?
Identify yourself please.
Ahhh...
Guuu...
Staaa...
Laaa...
Oooh.
Agusta Lao?
( THUNDER )
( WIND BLOWING )
No!
( GLASSES BREAKING )
Why are you doing this?
Noo!
Nooo!
Uh-oh!
Oh, great!
Now I'm gonna miss the movie.
Well, maybe it's just as well.
I'm not so sure your mother
would approve of you
watching all that scary stuff
just before going to bed.
It wasn't that scary.
Oh no?
Well you know, actually
that toy monkey reminds me
of a story I once wrote
for television.
Let's see, what was it?
Of course, Merlin!
Merlin?
Merlin The Sorcerer.
Only it didn't take place
in the time of King Arthur.
You see Merlin used his powers
to come to our time,
to set up a shop of mystical
wonders for all to see.
Mystical wonders?
What are you talking
about, Grandpa?
I'm talking about
magical things,
crystal balls,
enchanted stones,
wondrous objects that Merlin
has collected over the years.
What does he do with them?
Why...
he sells them,
or even gives them away.
And then,
something magical happens
that changes
a person's life forever.
Like what?
Young man,
are you actually asking me
to tell you a story?
Yeah sure,
until the lights come back on.
Oh really?
Well here.
You hold on to that,
and I'll tell you the story.
Only, let me see,
it's been a few years
so you'll have to forgive me
if I can't remember it
exactly as it was written.
Go for it!
Go for it, eh?
All right.
Well, the story begins
in a small town
in Northern California.
On a starry night...
( ALARM RINGING )
Nicholas, did you see
where Mommy put her keys?
Susan!
Hi!
How are you?
I haven't seen you in ages!
Great!
How are you?
I'm okay.
So how are you
and Mr. Excitement?
Oh, we're fine.
He's around here somewhere.
How about you and Mel?
Not bad, no complaints.
Wow, I can't get over
how good you look!
You must have lost...
( DOOR CREAKS )
( OWL HOOTS )
Well!
Look who we have here,
our first customer!
Merl!
We have a visitor!
Have you found
something you like?
Cat got your tongue?
Hmm?
I got the results
from my doctor yesterday.
Oh I'm sorry.
The thing is, we haven't been
getting along that wellfor some
time now and well, I know he resents me
for not being able to
get pregnant on our own.
Just getting him to go
to the fertility expert
was a giant blow to his ego
and now after everything,
when he finds out
there's no hope at all,
he's just gonna...
SUSAN: You mean,
you haven't told him?
I haven't had the nerve.
I just...
I really wanted this baby.
SUSAN:
You could always adopt.
Jonathan would never
raise someone else's baby,
you know him.
SUSAN: But having a child
is so important to you.
Wouldn't he...
No.
Hello, Susan.
MERLIN: Well, Mother,
what do we have here?
Doesn't he remind you
of someone?
Arthur, you old hoot.
Who else?
Oh, yes!
Of course!
How foolish of me.
( LAUGHS )
But I bet your name
isn't Arthur.
Don't tell me.
Don't tell me.
And it's Nicholas.
Isn't it?
Well Nicholas,
do you believe in magic?
You do?
Oh, I knew it!
Oh, you see, Mother,
we're not too late.
There's still hope.
( GROWLING )
That's enough out of you,
Gwen, behave yourself! Oh!
( GLASS BREAKS )
That's your fault!
Yes, yes.
You didn't pick her up
last night, did you?
You know how she gets!
I know.
It won't happen again.
Now, what could we do
for our young friend?
Come here Nicholas,
how would you like to see
one of my favorite tricks?
You would?
It's one of my favorite tricks!
Nothing up my sleeve,
oh rrrrraaaa...
Hahaha!
Oh, now watch closely!
( LAUGHS )
Oh!
Oh.
There take good care of it.
JONATHAN:
That's very amusing.
Is that the extent
of your power as magician?
Oh, I'm sorry, Merlin.
May we help you?
Yeah, allow me
to introduce myself.
My name is Jonathan Cooper III.
Interesting shop.
Heavy atmosphere.
No sign of
contemporary influence
in design or structure.
Shop is at best,
overly theatrical.
Uh, excuse me,
was there something you wanted?
What I want is a story.
Oh.
I am a respected columnist
in this town,
and I'm here to decide
whether or not your shop
is worthy of my readers'
time and money.
Worthy?
What do you mean, worthy?
Nicholas, what are you
doing in here?
Come on, you know better
than to wander off like
that.
( CHICKEN FLYING )
Oh!
( LAUGHING )
Where'd that chicken come from?
What chicken?
SUSAN: Nicholas,
come on, let's go.
Oh Nicholas!
Come back soon.
Okay?
Uh-huh.
Take care, Susan.
Remember what I said.
Call me.
I will.
ZURELLA:
Goodbye, my dear!
SUSAN: Nicholas,
what were you doing...
ZURELLA:
Isn't he precious?
JONATHAN: Merchandise consists
of knick knacks, statues,
various psychic paraphernalia
such as crystal balls,
et cetera...
( SNAKE HISSING )
So, tell me,
what's all this about?
Why are you here?
Why has Merlin,
and his wife, I presume...
Zurella.
Zurella, come
to the 20th century?
I don't like your attitude,
young man.
What business is it of yours...
Dear, dear. Mr. Cooper,
I'm here to awaken the world.
JONATHAN: Awaken the world?
From what?
To bring magic back
into the lives of those
who have let
science and technology
cloud their perceptions.
Perceptions of the powers
which truly govern the universe
to believe in the unbelievable.
Oh, there was a time
when wizards commanded
the respect of kings
and all shared
an undisputed belief
in the mystical powers
which guided their lives.
The objects which you see
before you, Mr. Cooper,
are those magical, mystical,
wonders which I have
collected over the years.
And with them,
I shall allow people
to experience
that belief in magic again.
JONATHAN: You really believe
you are Merlin, don't you?
( LAUGHS ) Storeowner's
an eccentric old man
who suffers from delusions
of being a wizard.
MERLIN: I am, Mr. Cooper,
who I say I am.
JONATHAN: Sure you are, pal.
And I'm Lancelot.
Why, you insufferable rumpus.
MERLIN: Mr. Cooper,
I can assure you,
my intentions are
entirely honorable.
This is so beautiful.
I've never seen
anything like it.
It's a laurel,
a very special stone.
A wishing stone.
JONATHAN:
Come on.
For Pete's sake, Madeleine,
don't encourage them.
It's nothing more than a rock.
Make a wish, dear.
Madeleine, it's people like you
that allow this kind of
exploitation to go on.
A most endearing wish.
All right, I've seen enough.
I could be a sport about this.
If you're really Merlin,
prove it.
Show me something.
As they say, knock my socks off.
Ha-ha-ha!
We don't give demonstrations.
Sure you don't.
Listen to me, OB1.
Either you give me something
to write home about,
or your quaint little shop
is history.
Jonathan, let's just go.
Did you hear me, old man?
Do you know who I am?
I am the Supreme Being.
I chew places like this up
and spit them into the toilet.
So I'm gonna give you
one last chance.
You prove to me that you're
Merlin the Great Sorcerer,
or get off the pot.
For God's sake, Jonathan,
just drop it.
Leave these kind people alone.
Dear, why don't you
give him the book?
The book?
Yes, dear, the book.
Your book.
( WHISPERS )
What's going on?
Oh, Mr. Cooper,
I may have something for you
that will provide the proof
you seek.
JONATHAN:
Oh, yeah?
Looks like an old book.
MERLIN:
Oh, that it is, Mr.
Cooper.
It's a book of magic,
my own compilation
of spells and incantations.
More talk of magic?
I told you, the only kind of
magic I believe in
is the magic I have
in these fingers
to make this place...
( SNAPS FINGERS ) ...disappear.
Mr. Cooper, if you would
just take this book home
and read through it,
I assure you,
you will be thoroughly
satisfied.
MERLIN: I'm sure you will find
that it makes good reading.
JONATHAN: All right, you've
sparked my interest, old man.
I'll look through it,
and you'll trust me
to bring it back?
MERLIN:
Why certainly.
Oh, Mrs. Cooper,
please keep the stone.
MADELEINE:
Oh no, I couldn't.
Dear, it's a gift.
Thank you.
MERLIN:
You're welcome.
Come on, let's get out of here.
I'm sure the compilations
of a mad man
will make good reading.
Oh, and Mr. Cooper,
a few words of caution.
If you decide to dabble
with any of my spells,
for whatever reason,
be sure not to toy with any
that aren't entirely there.
I'm afraid that over the years,
some of the pages
have become brittle
and sections
have been broken off.
So please, Mr. Cooper,
heed my words,
for your own sake.
GRANDFATHER: And so, Mr.
Cooper
took Merlin's book home.
Wait a minute,
what did Madeleine wish for?
Well, what do you think?
I don't know.
You'll figure it out.
I spoke to Dr. Collins.
Oh yeah, what did
that quack have to say?
Nothing.
Nothing that would concern you.
Oh, for Pete's sake, Madeleine.
Why is it so difficult for you
to show a little compassion
once in a while?
Or to be nice?
My God, just getting along
is a major accomplishment.
( READING ) Well, it would
appear that I too have succumbed
to the old man's charm
for I hold in my hand
a book of spells.
Merlin's book of spells
which no less
promises to make me
a true believer in magic.
Although I must admit,
the mere thought
of such a thing being real
is intriguing.
Oh, a warning.
"He beware who layeth sight
on pages within."
Nice touch.
Must be a fuse.
Okay, what do we have here?
Let's see, contents.
Spells, love potion, worthless.
Teleportation,
mmm, rejuvenation,
yes, we must stay young
and vital.
This is incredible.
What kind of mind spends hours
writing this crap?
Look at this gibberish,
typically in Latin.
Who was it that first
instilled the belief
that words, perhaps
in their purest form,
could actually
command the elements.
Take this special for example,
"to propel away.
De-ri-sera" Oh!
That's what I get
for screwing around.
Oh!
Hey, Mif.
All right, debating whether to
continue on
with this foolishness,
Jonathan Cooper
decides to play wizard
in Name That Spell.
Here's a good one, to Levitate.
"Ari-se-dare,
ari-se-dare!"
Ha-ha-ha look at me,
I'm with wizard, Merlin!
The all powerful sorcerer!
Ha-ha-ha!
( OBJECTS FALL ON FLOOR )
Ooh, to summon a spirit,
say three times
in a commanding tone,
"Vin-e-chi-re, vin-e-chi-re,
vin-e-chi-re!"
( WIND BLOWS )
( EXPLOSION )
( COUGHING FIRE )
( COUGHING FIRE )
( COUGHING )
SUSAN: ( COUGHING )
What on earth
is going on down here?
The lights just exploded
in the bedroom.
It nearly scared me to death!
Why are you sitting in the dark?
What are you doing?
Are you trying to
burn the house down?
Jonathan, I'm sorry.
I know it's been hard
but we can get through this.
Having a baby...
Hey, there are thousands
of childless couples out there.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
We just have to stop
blaming each other.
You haven't heard
a word I've said.
Leave!
What is going on with you?
Jonathan, you're scaring me.
Dragons breath?
It works?
This book really works!
So where's the spirit?
Anybody there?
Maybe I wasn't
commanding enough.
This is incredible!
The Homing Spell.
"Upon proper orchestration
of this incantation,
"an object may be sent away
to later return."
Like a homing pigeon.
This is what Merlin
warned me about.
What did he say,
"Don't toy with any spells
"that aren't entirely there."
Old buzzard new damn well
I was going to dabble.
Far be it for me to go
against the Master's wishes.
Call forward "Vien-e-chi-ra".
Vien-e-chi-ra, I thought that
was to summon the spirit.
Oh, the last letter's different.
Vien-e-chi-ra!
( OBJECT CRASHES )
Vien-e-chi-ra!
Oh God, look at this!
Cass-sorhi-basa!
Cass-sorhi-basa!
( LAUGHING )
I'm rich!
I'm rich!
Merlin I love you!
( LAUGHING )
Drop of mercury,
pinch of salt,
hair of master.
Tru-cor-bi!
Immediately feed creature
three drops.
Mifi!
What's he gonna do to the cat?
He's gonna turn it
into a familiar.
A what?
It's an obedient,
mystical servant.
The potion, when done properly,
turns an ordinary animal
into a magical creature
that will do anything at all
for its master,
even give up its life.
All sorcerers have one.
Cool!
Mm-hmm.
Oh by the way, there is
one very important thing
to point out.
Because of all the magic
that Jonathan's been doing,
he's aged about 15 years.
How come?
Well, using one's
psychic powers to do magic
drains your life force
and causes you to age.
But it's common knowledge
among wizards.
Life force?
Trust me, you play with magic,
you're gonna grow old and fast.
Okay, okay,
go on with the story.
Now where was I?
The cat!
Oh, yes!
The cat, the cat.
Well, without a moment to lose,
Jonathan apprehends
the unsuspecting feline
and brings her to his workbench.
Yes, now you're about to learn
the true meaning of obedience.
( CAT HISSES )
Hold still, stupid cat!
Mifi?
Mif?
Mifi?
Mifi?
Mif?
Oh, there you are!
( CAT HISSES )
Ow! Ow!
Vien-e-chi-re!
Vien-e-chi-re!
Vien-e-chi-re!
Vien-e-chi-ra!
Why couldn't he make
that fork come to him before?
He was using the wrong spell!
Vien-e-chi-re
is to summon a spirit.
Vien-e-chi-ra is to call
something forward.
You see, when you're
dealing with magic,
you have to be very careful.
One letter can make
a big difference.
What?
Don't be so surprised,
Mr. Cooper.
( LAUGHING )
After all, did you think
your newly discovered power
came without a price?
( LAUGHTER )
Do you believe in magic now?
( CRASHES AGAINST WALL )
( LAUGHTER )
( MIRROR SHATTERS )
He knew.
That damn Merlin
knew this would happen!
It's gotta be here.
It's gotta be here.
"The Rejuvenation Potion
acts to replenish
"one's life force from
the natural effects of aging
"and the excessive use
of one's psychic powers."
Ingredients,
a pinch of sulfur, oh no!
Oh no!
Merlin, you bastard!
( GROWLING )
What's one letter?
Ingredients, a pinch of sulfur,
blood of human donor.
Oh, Madeleine!
( BED SHAKING )
( SCREAMING )
Hello, Madeleine.
Jonathan?
What's the matter, dear?
Don't you like my new look?
What have you done?
It's true!
He is who he says he is,
he is Merlin The Sorcerer!
No!
Not so fast, my dear.
I have wonderful things
in store for us.
Wonderful things.
( CRYING )
Ow!
Can't waste a drop!
Bel-tor-viva-ses-tra.
Here's looking at you,
sweetheart.
It's working!
It's working, look!
It's working!
( MIRROR SHATTERS )
( SCREAMING )
She got her wish!
You figured it out.
GRANDSON: How could I
not figure it out?
The whole thing
with the baby kangaroo
made it pretty obvious.
Too obvious, huh?
GRANDSON:
A little.
So because Jonathan was a jerk,
Merlin turned him into a baby?
Well, now you can't blame Merlin.
Jonathan turned himself
into a baby;
Merlin just gave him the book.
Yeah, right.
Merlin knew Jonathan
was going to read the spells,
and he knew what was going to
happen to him once he did.
Oh, you think so, huh?
You know I'm right.
( LAUGHS )
Well, Jonathan should never
have threatened Merlin
in the first place.
It's not wise to get
on the bad side of a sorcerer.
So what about Merlin's book?
How is he gonna get it back?
Remember the homing spell?
Oh yeah.
( YAWNS )
Uh-oh.
Time for bed, my boy.
Well, now wait a minute,
what about the toy monkey?
Oh. Oh.
Oh, the monkey!
Yeah, come on!
You're not too tired?
Grandpa.
( LAUGHS )
All right.
Now where were we?
Goodnight, Gwendolyn.
( SCREAMING )
Merl!
Merl, wake up!
Wake up!
Wake up!
That horrible little
monkey is gone!
Oh, how could you
let this happen?
Oh now Eli, calm down.
You know how your feet swell
when you get all upset.
Calm down.
How can I calm down
knowing that awful little imp
is out there somewhere?
I should never have let you
put that thing on display.
It was for show.
It added character.
And who would have though
some vagabond would steal it?
ZURELLA:That monkey has
beentrouble ever since you got
it.
Don't think Morgana didn't
know what she was doing.
Who knows what demons
she imprisoned in that thing!
You should never
have accepted it!
It was a gift on my birthday.
ZURELLA:
I don't care!
Trouble is that
conniving witch's middle name.
She's had it in for you
for years!
But you've just been
too good-hearted to see it.
If I recall,
you were a little mischievous
yourself when we first met.
Remember?
Oh, you!
I practically had to
drown you in my love potion
just to get your attention.
Oh! I was just
playing hard to get!
And besides, you know,
since your father
didn't like me,
I had to play my spells right.
What are you talking about?
Daddy liked you!
He liked everybody!
Nope, not me!
So, he thought
you were full of crazy ideas.
What else is new?
Do you think
he would have given you
his favorite rocking horse
if he didn't like you?
Well...
Of course not,
you silly old hoot.
( LAUGHS )
Oh!
This is awful, just awful!
And it's all your fault!
If only you placed that
homing
spell on that monkey,
like I told you to,
we wouldn't be in this mess.
I know, I know.
If I only knew where
he took it, I could...
ZURELLA:
That's it!
Oh!
We've gotta get out there
and track it down!
That thief must have
sold it by now
or maybe even traded it
for food.
You've gotta get out there
and find that thing
before it gets into
the wrong hands!
But where do I start?
It could be anywhere!
I don't care!
Just get out there
and be creative, now go!
Don't I get a kiss?
You'll get a lot more than that
if you don't go out there
and find that thing, now go! (
LAUGHS )
Why is Zurella so upset?
Because the monkey
is no ordinary toy.
What do you mean?
An evil spirit
lives inside the toy,
and Zurella is afraid
it might hurt somebody.
How did that evil spirit
get in there?
Well, it was imprisoned
by the evil witch Morgana,
Merlin's archenemy.
Oh, but that's another story.
Okay, okay.
Go on.
You sure you're not too tired?
Grandpa!
Okay, all right.
( MUSIC PLAYING )
Hey, it looks like
a great day for the fair.
DAVID:
I know, I know.
It's all I've been
hearing about all week!
( LAUGHS )
Hey, what's going on here?
Sorry girl, you can't
come with us this time.
Hey, come on.
Sparkle, come on.
Let's go. Let's go.
Come on. Come on.
Atta girl.
Oh, come on, David,
can't she come?
DAVID: First of all,
the name is not David.
It's Dad to you.
Okay, Dad, can't she come?
Look, it's gonna be
too hot in the car, son,
you don't want her
to get sick do you?
MICHAEL: No.
Okay.
Hey buckaroo, how about
if I take care of Sparkle
while you go to the fair?
Okay.
PETE: Come on, Sparkle,
let's go.
Atta girl.
DAVID: Thanks, Pete.
Just put her in the garage
when you go in,
if you don't mind.
Will do.
Have fun, Buckaroo.
( CAR STARTS )
Bye, Sparkle!
( MUSIC PLAYING )
Merl, where are you?
You've been gone so long.
There you are.
What are you doing
in that store?
You don't get ice cream
at a time like this.
No, no, no.
You're in the wrong place.
You've got to look further.
Concentrate.
Come on, be creative.
Where could it be?
I don't know.
( CLAPPING )
All right?
Alright pilgrim, I want you to
take a deep breath, make a wish,
and blow 'em all out.
( LAUGHING )
( CHEERING AND CLAPPING )
Come on, hurry up!
Yeah, I wanna see your presents!
Can we open my presents now?
DAVID: Don't you wanna eat
your cake first?
Nah, we could eat it later.
DAVID: All right, go for
it.
The big one!
DAVID: Open mine!
Open mine!
GIRL:
Open the red one!
Hey, why don't you
open Susan's first?
Okay.
DAVID:
Here we go.
Oh!
Whoa!
Where did you ever find that?
Look at that!
( CYMBALS )
( GIGGLING )
Thanks!
You're welcome.
Now let's open the big one.
Yeah!
DAVID: Yeah, yeah.
PETE: Let's see what's that,
what's in there?
Oh, what's it gonna be?
Come on, open it up!
Yeah!
Oh! Wow!
( KIDS PLAYING )
BOY: Chewbacca's dead.
( MUMBLING )
Ha ha ha ha.
Martianstien.
Rock and roll Martian.
Rock and roll Martian,
ha ha ha ha.
( LAUGHING )
Oh, I think it was a success.
I think you're right.
Hey, bring that thing over here
a minute, would you, Mike?
Can I play with it for a minute?
Sure!
Isn't he adorable?
Hey, where'd you
find this thing?
Oh, you know
that junk antique store
off the boulevard?
Yeah.
I saw it at the window
as I was passing by,
and I just couldn't resist.
I thought you said
the monkey was dangerous?
It is!
But it hasn't done anything.
Everybody likes it.
Give it time.
It may not do anything
that night,
but the next day.
Well, strange things
start to happen.
( MUSIC PLAYING )
What are you doing in there?
( LAUGHING )
God, you scared
the hell out of me!
Hey, I just came over
to see what the hell
you're tearing apart.
Aw man, I'm gonna
go back to bed.
So far today, I have broken
my toe and fractured my skull.
Aw!
I was tightening a clamp
on the air conditioner hose,
been meaning to do it
for a while.
Finally got to it.
You know how long it took?
Yeah.
Five minutes.
PETE: Uh-huh.
Playing gardener today?
Well, I was gonna
put some shrubs in,
but I think I'll work
on the old scooter for a while.
Oh yeah? Expecting a visit
from Better Homes and Gardens
anytime soon?
One would have to wonder
the way you've been
attacking that lawn.
I'm just trying to
clean the place up.
God knows I've neglected it
long enough.
Well, your lawn
always looks, uh...
Yeah, right.
( LAUGHING )
( PHONE RINGS )
I'll be right back.
Yeah, well, I'll be
out here awhile.
I got a little bit to do.
( PHONE RINGING )
Hello?
Oh, hello, Mother!
How are you?
No, everything's fine.
Michael's fine, we're all fine.
Yeah.
You enjoying your trip?
Great.
Great. When are you
coming home?
Okay, in three days.
Well, call me.
Call me and let me know
when to pick...
No, don't be silly, Mother.
Look, don't you dare take a cab.
I'm perfectly
able to pick you up.
Good.
Okay, well, enjoy
the rest of your trip.
Yeah.
Okay, I'll look forward
to seeing you too.
Okay, I will.
All right, see you
in a few days.
Bye-bye.
( FLY BUZZING )
( CYMBALS )
( MUSIC PLAYING )
Oh, excuse me.
Excuse me.
Get away from me.
I have mace.
Oh please, please,
I mean you no harm.
I'm simply trying
to find this toy monkey.
By chance, have you seen it?
Um, actually yes.
I'm... I'm sorry
for the way I behaved.
It's just that...
There's no need.
Well, no, it's just that
this isn't
a very good neighborhood.
I mean, you wouldn't
believe the weirdos.
You just can't be too careful.
You know, I mean, I know mace
is illegal and everything...
Of course, of course so.
I understand.
But you've said
you've seen the monkey?
Yes, um, yesterday
this weird guy brought it in.
I gave him $5 for it.
You have it?
No, I'm sorry I don't.
It sold shortly thereafter.
Blast it!
Look, I should be
getting back to work.
Please, by chance,
do you have any information
on the person who bought it?
No, I'm sorry.
She paid cash for it.
Oh, I see.
It was yours?
Uh-huh.
Stolen from my shop.
I hope you find it.
Have a nice day.
Bye.
( MONKEY'S CYMBALS )
Michael?
Michael?
Michael?
Michael?
Oh! God.
Oh, Michael,
you scared me to death.
Hi, Dad!
( LAUGHING ) God. Come here,
give me a kiss and a hug.Okay.
Where's Sparkle?
I though you were
playing with her?
I put her in the garage
so when I scared you,
she couldn't make noise.
You rascal!
You planned this whole thing?
( LAUGHS )
Yup!
Well, it worked.
You scared me.
I think I'll go let her in now.
Okay, go.
( TOY LASER GUN )
Charlotte.
I think we must have
given her too much food, son.
Yeah, but she was so skinny.
Well, she's
supposed to be skinny.
Fish aren't made
to eat very much.
Can we bury her now?
Yeah, we can.
We'll put her right
out front, okay?
( SINISTER LAUGH )
I'm the old pincushion man,
terror of bologna land.
Folks all hate me,
how they hate me...
Oh, hi Mike!
Hi.
So, where's your dad?
( GLASS BREAKING )
Never mind!
Hi!
Hi.
What did you do?
I cut myself.
Oh, Mr. Goodwrench.
( BANGING ON GARAGE DOOR )
PETE: Hey!
Yeah?
PETE:
Hey, Dave?
( BANGING ON GARAGE DOOR )
Yes, Pete?
PETE: Hey, are you in
there?
Yes, Pete.
PETE: Well, get out here!
I need some help working on a...
All right, I'll be right out.
Always wants something,
doesn't he?
( DOG WHINNING )
Anything good on?
Cartoons!
Cartoons?
What you need?
I gotta time this thing.
Could you get in
and turn it over
a couple of times for me?
Sure.
( CARTOONS PLAYING )
( LAUGHING )
( YELPS )
( DOG WHINNING )
( CARTOONS PLAYING )
I'll get buff! I'll get
tough.
I'll just call his bluff.
Oh no! Oh no!
( DOG CRYING )
( CAR ENGINE STARTS )
Do it again.
( CAR ENGINE STARTS )
Hold it.
I'm not gonna be able to do it
like this, not mechanically. I'm
gonna need my timing light.
You wouldn't know where it,
would you, old buddy?
Uh, it's probably in my garage.
You probably left it in there.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah.
( LAUGHS )
I'll go get it.
( DOG CRYING )
Sparkles?
( MONKEY'S CYMBALS )
Sparkle?
Sparkle!
( COUGHS )
Sparkle!
Stay inside!
Oh!
Stay here, honey.
David what happened?
It's okay.
You okay?
It's out.
Yeah. It's out.
Where's Sparkle?
I'm sorry, Mike.
Sparkle's dead.
No!
The monkey killed the dog?
I told you, it's a bad toy!
What happens next?
Does it kill Michael?
Now you're getting ahead of me.
First things first.
You see, David, Michael's father
starts to get suspicious,
so he calls
a psychic friend of his.
A what?
A psychic.
You know, someone
who can see into the future,
talk to ghosts.
You know, a clairvoyant...
Oh, a clairvoyant.
Why didn't you say so?
Anyway.
He tells her
about the strange things
that have been going on,
and she, being sensitive
in that area,
senses that something
in his house
might be possessed
by an evil spirit.
Well, it doesn't take long
to figure out what it could be.
DAVID: So what did you learn
from your reading?
Just a refresher.
I remembered that demons can
only be brought into this world
through someone
who already exists here.
They can't come on their own.
Sometimes demons
are brought here unwillingly,
causing them to be volatile
and hostile.
Well, aren't they already
volatile and hostile?
I mean, they are demons.
Yes. But they can be worse when
they're conjured
without their consent.
Look Adrian, I've been thinking.
My son just had a birthday,
and one of his presents
was this antique toy monkey.
Oh, I see.
Sit down right there, Dave.
You're not going to
like this, David,
but we have a very serious
situation here.
Now unfortunately,
I'm not going to be able
to deal with it personally
because of its nature;
you're going to have to
deal with it alone.
Why do I have to
deal with it alone?
Well, listen to me, David.
As a psychic, I have an aura
of a certain nature
that the demon would
unquestionably sense.
The moment I stepped
into your house,
all hell would break loose,
literally.
Yeah, but what am I
supposed to do?
I don't know anything
about evil spirits.
Get that toy out of your house.
I have a feeling that's not
going to be so easy to do.
What's that?
It's called a bethogram.
DAVID: It's supposed to
protect
me from the demon, huh?
Yes. Just keep it in your
possession at all times.
Great. Should I wear garlic
around my neck too?
My god, David!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I appreciate your help,
but I just wish you could come.
ADRIAN:
I know!
I am sorry.
I wish I could do
the exorcism for you,
but this is something
you'll have to do on your
own.
And remember, David,
never let it know!
PETE:
Hey, Dave!
Hi.
Man, you look terrible.
Thanks.
When's the last time
you got some sleep?
I think it was
the week before last.
That bad, huh?
Yeah, yeah.
Is there anything I can do?
As a matter of fact, yeah.
Name it.
Can you take Mike
for about an hour?
No problem.
I'm gonna go downtown,
get some parts for the car, run a
few errands.
Oh, great.
Hey, if there is a friend
of the year award, buddy, you
get it. No problem.
Listen, send him over
as soon as you want, and we'll
go.
Great.
Thanks, Pete.
PETE:
Get some sleep!
( MONKEY CYMBALS )
Hi, Dad!
Oh, Mike!
Come here a second, Mike.
Hey, Pete's gonna go shopping.
Why don't you give him a hand?
In his old Chevy?
Yeah!
Yeah, take off. Go.
Okay!
ADRIAN: ( A MEMORY )
Remember,
David, never let it know
that you're aware
of its presence.
DAVID: Do you think
it would know?
ADRIAN:
Yes.
( WHISTLING )
Damn!
Bingo!
Bye-bye.
( MUSIC PLAYING )
( DOORBELL RINGS )
Surprise!
Hey, hi!
What's in the bag?
Well, Mikey and I
went down to the store.
You didn't look too good earlier
so I though we'd poolour
resources and cook tonight.
Oh great! I feel fine now though.
Yeah?
You take a nap?
No, I cleaned the house.
Oh very interesting.
And so of course,
this makes you feel better, hm?
DAVID:
Exactly.
Yeah, sure whatever.
Say, do you do windows?
( LAUGHS )
( KNOCKS OVER TRASH CAN )
Hey, baby.
What's happening?
Bug off!
Nooooooo!!!
Watch out!
Oh, shit!
( CAR BRAKES )
Look out!
DAVID:
Michael!
Hey, Pete!
Get him inside, will ya?
Hey, Mike, you all right?
What the hell you doing?
Get him inside!
PETE:Why didn't you watch
where you're going? I was!
I didn't see him!
Yeah, you're looking
at pretty ladies.
You okay?
What's going on?
Where are you going?
Get Mike inside,
I'll be back in 10 minutes!
You're gonna have to do better
than that, you little bastard!
Let's see you get out of this!
God help me!
( THUNDER )
( LAUGHING )
Ahhhh!
MAN: ( ON TV )
It's a trap!
( CARTOONS PLAYING )
( PHONE RINGS )
Hello?
Oh, hi, Mom!
Where are ya?
Okay I'll be right down.
Oh, she is, huh?
Okay, yeah.
You did, huh?
Yeah I'm sure
he'll be surprised.
Okay, I'll see you
in a little while. Yeah.
Bye-bye.
Hey, grandma's at the airport.
She'll be here
in a little while.
All right!
Why don't you go make sure
your room is clean, huh?
Okay.
And put on a clean shirt
while you're at it, will ya?
I like this shirt.
Michael, that shirt is filthy.
Will you change it
so Grandma doesn't think
I've been falling down
on the job?
Okay.
Well, look at you.
What gypsy ring
do you belong to?
Gypsy ring?
Yeah, what's with the costume?
It's certainly not Halloween.
Forgive me.
Jake Cosgrove.
Nice to know you.
Merlin.
Of course.
So Merlin, well, you look like
a man who likes his trinkets.
As it happens, I own a small
trinket stand across the way.
Well, it's uh... it's no use.
Well, you never know.
I got a lot of stuff.
Well, no, no, no, no.
It's my monkey.
I've looked everywhere.
I just, I can't find it.
You lost a monkey?
What, a chimpanzee
from your show?
No. A toy monkey.
A toy monkey?
You mean, the kind with cymbals?
You've seen it?
That's the damnedest thing.
This morning, some bum walks up
and says for a dollar,
he'll give me this toy monkey.
You know, like the one
you're looking for.
It was in good condition,
so I said okay.
You've got it?
You're not going to believe
this, not about an hour ago,
an old lady pulls up in a car
and offers me 20 bucks for it.
Twenty bucks!
I couldn't believe it.
So, you sold it to her?
Damn right. I would've
given her half my cart
for 20 bucks.
Well, did you get her name
or where she lives?
Anything?
Well actually, yeah.
Her name's Marie Andrews.
312 Maple Drive.
Granted I don't usually
accept checks,
but she looked
respectful enough.
( CHATTERING )
Oh, thank you, darling, so much!
I'll give you a call.
FEMALE DRIVER:
Oh, please do!
Ok darling, alright.
DRIVER: Bye-bye!
Mary!
Oh, my I've missed you!
Welcome home!
Oh, thank you so much!
Why didn't you call me?
Oh well, Sarah...
I would have come to get you. (
GROANS ) Sand in here?
Sarah was at the airport
which worked out
just wonderfully.
You have the best luck, I swear.
Oh, tell me, how are you, Pete?
Fine.
Oh, good.
And do you have any new
old cars to tell me about?
Well, I sold the old Chevy,
and I'm gonna start
on the old Buick next.
Oh, great.
How is everything?
Fine, except that son
of yours is a lousy cook.
Oh! ( LAUGHS )
And how was Hawaii?
Wonderful!
( LAUGHING )
Well, Pete, I might just
tell him you know.
Grandma!
Oh, Michael!
How are you, darling?
Oh damn,
wouldn't you know it, Mary,
there's my phone.
I'll talk to you later.
All right, Pete.
Thank you so much!
PETE: Welcome home.
Oh, thank you!
Michael, how are you?
Fine. Is that for me?
DAVID: Is that you, Mom?
Yes!
How was your birthday?
Did you have a party?
Yeah. Can I open
my present now?
Well, take it over to the table
and wait till Dad comes.
Okay?
Okay.
DAVID: Mom!
MARY: Hi!
Oh David!
What has happened to you?
Don't even ask, Mom.
Have you been in
an accident or something?
Look, you wouldn't believe me
if I told you.
Can I open my present now?
Please, Grandma!
Please?
Yes, dear, you may.
David, are you sure
you're feeling all right?
I'm sure, Mom, just fine.
I'm fine.
Hey, did you see how well
I took care of your plants?
Oh, they're beautiful!
I can't believe
how much they've grown!
( LAUGHS )
Dad, look!
Isn't it, darling?
Michael, go outside!
David?
Don't ask questions, Mom.
( BOTH TALKING
OVER EACH OTHER )
David, David!
Mom!
Dad! Dad!
Dad!
DAVID: Open it!
MICHAEL: I can't!
David!
Get out of the way, Michael!
MICHAEL: Dad!
DAVID:
Run faster! Go!
Get in the car!
Mom, there's no time
to explain now.
Just get into the car!
Michael, get in...
Oh! You found it.
Sweetheart,
you can come home now.
GRANDPA: And so with the monkey
back in Merlin's possession,
Merlin could return home
with renewed hope.
Of course
he'd still have to decide
what to do with the monkey
to ensure nothing like this
ever happened again.
MERLIN:
I'll deal with you later.
But for now,
content that everything
was back to normal,
Merlin could re-open his shop
and continue his quest
to inspire the hopes
and dreams of all those
whose lives would soon
touch his own.
Goodnight, boy.
My goodness, you've grown big.
There you are.
( MUSIC PLAYING )
( BURPS )
( GIGGLES )
Excuse me, Thomas!
( SIGHS )
Well, what should I
do now, Thomas?
Go on, tell me!
Thomas?
Why have you stopped
talking to me?
Thomas?
Thomas Dawnston, are you there?
All right, who's the wise guy?
( THUNDER )
Well, if you're not Thomas,
then who are you?
Identify yourself please.
Ahhh...
Guuu...
Staaa...
Laaa...
Oooh.
Agusta Lao?
( THUNDER )
( WIND BLOWING )
No!
( GLASSES BREAKING )
Why are you doing this?
Noo!
Nooo!
Uh-oh!
Oh, great!
Now I'm gonna miss the movie.
Well, maybe it's just as well.
I'm not so sure your mother
would approve of you
watching all that scary stuff
just before going to bed.
It wasn't that scary.
Oh no?
Well you know, actually
that toy monkey reminds me
of a story I once wrote
for television.
Let's see, what was it?
Of course, Merlin!
Merlin?
Merlin The Sorcerer.
Only it didn't take place
in the time of King Arthur.
You see Merlin used his powers
to come to our time,
to set up a shop of mystical
wonders for all to see.
Mystical wonders?
What are you talking
about, Grandpa?
I'm talking about
magical things,
crystal balls,
enchanted stones,
wondrous objects that Merlin
has collected over the years.
What does he do with them?
Why...
he sells them,
or even gives them away.
And then,
something magical happens
that changes
a person's life forever.
Like what?
Young man,
are you actually asking me
to tell you a story?
Yeah sure,
until the lights come back on.
Oh really?
Well here.
You hold on to that,
and I'll tell you the story.
Only, let me see,
it's been a few years
so you'll have to forgive me
if I can't remember it
exactly as it was written.
Go for it!
Go for it, eh?
All right.
Well, the story begins
in a small town
in Northern California.
On a starry night...
( ALARM RINGING )
Nicholas, did you see
where Mommy put her keys?
Susan!
Hi!
How are you?
I haven't seen you in ages!
Great!
How are you?
I'm okay.
So how are you
and Mr. Excitement?
Oh, we're fine.
He's around here somewhere.
How about you and Mel?
Not bad, no complaints.
Wow, I can't get over
how good you look!
You must have lost...
( DOOR CREAKS )
( OWL HOOTS )
Well!
Look who we have here,
our first customer!
Merl!
We have a visitor!
Have you found
something you like?
Cat got your tongue?
Hmm?
I got the results
from my doctor yesterday.
Oh I'm sorry.
The thing is, we haven't been
getting along that wellfor some
time now and well, I know he resents me
for not being able to
get pregnant on our own.
Just getting him to go
to the fertility expert
was a giant blow to his ego
and now after everything,
when he finds out
there's no hope at all,
he's just gonna...
SUSAN: You mean,
you haven't told him?
I haven't had the nerve.
I just...
I really wanted this baby.
SUSAN:
You could always adopt.
Jonathan would never
raise someone else's baby,
you know him.
SUSAN: But having a child
is so important to you.
Wouldn't he...
No.
Hello, Susan.
MERLIN: Well, Mother,
what do we have here?
Doesn't he remind you
of someone?
Arthur, you old hoot.
Who else?
Oh, yes!
Of course!
How foolish of me.
( LAUGHS )
But I bet your name
isn't Arthur.
Don't tell me.
Don't tell me.
And it's Nicholas.
Isn't it?
Well Nicholas,
do you believe in magic?
You do?
Oh, I knew it!
Oh, you see, Mother,
we're not too late.
There's still hope.
( GROWLING )
That's enough out of you,
Gwen, behave yourself! Oh!
( GLASS BREAKS )
That's your fault!
Yes, yes.
You didn't pick her up
last night, did you?
You know how she gets!
I know.
It won't happen again.
Now, what could we do
for our young friend?
Come here Nicholas,
how would you like to see
one of my favorite tricks?
You would?
It's one of my favorite tricks!
Nothing up my sleeve,
oh rrrrraaaa...
Hahaha!
Oh, now watch closely!
( LAUGHS )
Oh!
Oh.
There take good care of it.
JONATHAN:
That's very amusing.
Is that the extent
of your power as magician?
Oh, I'm sorry, Merlin.
May we help you?
Yeah, allow me
to introduce myself.
My name is Jonathan Cooper III.
Interesting shop.
Heavy atmosphere.
No sign of
contemporary influence
in design or structure.
Shop is at best,
overly theatrical.
Uh, excuse me,
was there something you wanted?
What I want is a story.
Oh.
I am a respected columnist
in this town,
and I'm here to decide
whether or not your shop
is worthy of my readers'
time and money.
Worthy?
What do you mean, worthy?
Nicholas, what are you
doing in here?
Come on, you know better
than to wander off like
that.
( CHICKEN FLYING )
Oh!
( LAUGHING )
Where'd that chicken come from?
What chicken?
SUSAN: Nicholas,
come on, let's go.
Oh Nicholas!
Come back soon.
Okay?
Uh-huh.
Take care, Susan.
Remember what I said.
Call me.
I will.
ZURELLA:
Goodbye, my dear!
SUSAN: Nicholas,
what were you doing...
ZURELLA:
Isn't he precious?
JONATHAN: Merchandise consists
of knick knacks, statues,
various psychic paraphernalia
such as crystal balls,
et cetera...
( SNAKE HISSING )
So, tell me,
what's all this about?
Why are you here?
Why has Merlin,
and his wife, I presume...
Zurella.
Zurella, come
to the 20th century?
I don't like your attitude,
young man.
What business is it of yours...
Dear, dear. Mr. Cooper,
I'm here to awaken the world.
JONATHAN: Awaken the world?
From what?
To bring magic back
into the lives of those
who have let
science and technology
cloud their perceptions.
Perceptions of the powers
which truly govern the universe
to believe in the unbelievable.
Oh, there was a time
when wizards commanded
the respect of kings
and all shared
an undisputed belief
in the mystical powers
which guided their lives.
The objects which you see
before you, Mr. Cooper,
are those magical, mystical,
wonders which I have
collected over the years.
And with them,
I shall allow people
to experience
that belief in magic again.
JONATHAN: You really believe
you are Merlin, don't you?
( LAUGHS ) Storeowner's
an eccentric old man
who suffers from delusions
of being a wizard.
MERLIN: I am, Mr. Cooper,
who I say I am.
JONATHAN: Sure you are, pal.
And I'm Lancelot.
Why, you insufferable rumpus.
MERLIN: Mr. Cooper,
I can assure you,
my intentions are
entirely honorable.
This is so beautiful.
I've never seen
anything like it.
It's a laurel,
a very special stone.
A wishing stone.
JONATHAN:
Come on.
For Pete's sake, Madeleine,
don't encourage them.
It's nothing more than a rock.
Make a wish, dear.
Madeleine, it's people like you
that allow this kind of
exploitation to go on.
A most endearing wish.
All right, I've seen enough.
I could be a sport about this.
If you're really Merlin,
prove it.
Show me something.
As they say, knock my socks off.
Ha-ha-ha!
We don't give demonstrations.
Sure you don't.
Listen to me, OB1.
Either you give me something
to write home about,
or your quaint little shop
is history.
Jonathan, let's just go.
Did you hear me, old man?
Do you know who I am?
I am the Supreme Being.
I chew places like this up
and spit them into the toilet.
So I'm gonna give you
one last chance.
You prove to me that you're
Merlin the Great Sorcerer,
or get off the pot.
For God's sake, Jonathan,
just drop it.
Leave these kind people alone.
Dear, why don't you
give him the book?
The book?
Yes, dear, the book.
Your book.
( WHISPERS )
What's going on?
Oh, Mr. Cooper,
I may have something for you
that will provide the proof
you seek.
JONATHAN:
Oh, yeah?
Looks like an old book.
MERLIN:
Oh, that it is, Mr.
Cooper.
It's a book of magic,
my own compilation
of spells and incantations.
More talk of magic?
I told you, the only kind of
magic I believe in
is the magic I have
in these fingers
to make this place...
( SNAPS FINGERS ) ...disappear.
Mr. Cooper, if you would
just take this book home
and read through it,
I assure you,
you will be thoroughly
satisfied.
MERLIN: I'm sure you will find
that it makes good reading.
JONATHAN: All right, you've
sparked my interest, old man.
I'll look through it,
and you'll trust me
to bring it back?
MERLIN:
Why certainly.
Oh, Mrs. Cooper,
please keep the stone.
MADELEINE:
Oh no, I couldn't.
Dear, it's a gift.
Thank you.
MERLIN:
You're welcome.
Come on, let's get out of here.
I'm sure the compilations
of a mad man
will make good reading.
Oh, and Mr. Cooper,
a few words of caution.
If you decide to dabble
with any of my spells,
for whatever reason,
be sure not to toy with any
that aren't entirely there.
I'm afraid that over the years,
some of the pages
have become brittle
and sections
have been broken off.
So please, Mr. Cooper,
heed my words,
for your own sake.
GRANDFATHER: And so, Mr.
Cooper
took Merlin's book home.
Wait a minute,
what did Madeleine wish for?
Well, what do you think?
I don't know.
You'll figure it out.
I spoke to Dr. Collins.
Oh yeah, what did
that quack have to say?
Nothing.
Nothing that would concern you.
Oh, for Pete's sake, Madeleine.
Why is it so difficult for you
to show a little compassion
once in a while?
Or to be nice?
My God, just getting along
is a major accomplishment.
( READING ) Well, it would
appear that I too have succumbed
to the old man's charm
for I hold in my hand
a book of spells.
Merlin's book of spells
which no less
promises to make me
a true believer in magic.
Although I must admit,
the mere thought
of such a thing being real
is intriguing.
Oh, a warning.
"He beware who layeth sight
on pages within."
Nice touch.
Must be a fuse.
Okay, what do we have here?
Let's see, contents.
Spells, love potion, worthless.
Teleportation,
mmm, rejuvenation,
yes, we must stay young
and vital.
This is incredible.
What kind of mind spends hours
writing this crap?
Look at this gibberish,
typically in Latin.
Who was it that first
instilled the belief
that words, perhaps
in their purest form,
could actually
command the elements.
Take this special for example,
"to propel away.
De-ri-sera" Oh!
That's what I get
for screwing around.
Oh!
Hey, Mif.
All right, debating whether to
continue on
with this foolishness,
Jonathan Cooper
decides to play wizard
in Name That Spell.
Here's a good one, to Levitate.
"Ari-se-dare,
ari-se-dare!"
Ha-ha-ha look at me,
I'm with wizard, Merlin!
The all powerful sorcerer!
Ha-ha-ha!
( OBJECTS FALL ON FLOOR )
Ooh, to summon a spirit,
say three times
in a commanding tone,
"Vin-e-chi-re, vin-e-chi-re,
vin-e-chi-re!"
( WIND BLOWS )
( EXPLOSION )
( COUGHING FIRE )
( COUGHING FIRE )
( COUGHING )
SUSAN: ( COUGHING )
What on earth
is going on down here?
The lights just exploded
in the bedroom.
It nearly scared me to death!
Why are you sitting in the dark?
What are you doing?
Are you trying to
burn the house down?
Jonathan, I'm sorry.
I know it's been hard
but we can get through this.
Having a baby...
Hey, there are thousands
of childless couples out there.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
We just have to stop
blaming each other.
You haven't heard
a word I've said.
Leave!
What is going on with you?
Jonathan, you're scaring me.
Dragons breath?
It works?
This book really works!
So where's the spirit?
Anybody there?
Maybe I wasn't
commanding enough.
This is incredible!
The Homing Spell.
"Upon proper orchestration
of this incantation,
"an object may be sent away
to later return."
Like a homing pigeon.
This is what Merlin
warned me about.
What did he say,
"Don't toy with any spells
"that aren't entirely there."
Old buzzard new damn well
I was going to dabble.
Far be it for me to go
against the Master's wishes.
Call forward "Vien-e-chi-ra".
Vien-e-chi-ra, I thought that
was to summon the spirit.
Oh, the last letter's different.
Vien-e-chi-ra!
( OBJECT CRASHES )
Vien-e-chi-ra!
Oh God, look at this!
Cass-sorhi-basa!
Cass-sorhi-basa!
( LAUGHING )
I'm rich!
I'm rich!
Merlin I love you!
( LAUGHING )
Drop of mercury,
pinch of salt,
hair of master.
Tru-cor-bi!
Immediately feed creature
three drops.
Mifi!
What's he gonna do to the cat?
He's gonna turn it
into a familiar.
A what?
It's an obedient,
mystical servant.
The potion, when done properly,
turns an ordinary animal
into a magical creature
that will do anything at all
for its master,
even give up its life.
All sorcerers have one.
Cool!
Mm-hmm.
Oh by the way, there is
one very important thing
to point out.
Because of all the magic
that Jonathan's been doing,
he's aged about 15 years.
How come?
Well, using one's
psychic powers to do magic
drains your life force
and causes you to age.
But it's common knowledge
among wizards.
Life force?
Trust me, you play with magic,
you're gonna grow old and fast.
Okay, okay,
go on with the story.
Now where was I?
The cat!
Oh, yes!
The cat, the cat.
Well, without a moment to lose,
Jonathan apprehends
the unsuspecting feline
and brings her to his workbench.
Yes, now you're about to learn
the true meaning of obedience.
( CAT HISSES )
Hold still, stupid cat!
Mifi?
Mif?
Mifi?
Mifi?
Mif?
Oh, there you are!
( CAT HISSES )
Ow! Ow!
Vien-e-chi-re!
Vien-e-chi-re!
Vien-e-chi-re!
Vien-e-chi-ra!
Why couldn't he make
that fork come to him before?
He was using the wrong spell!
Vien-e-chi-re
is to summon a spirit.
Vien-e-chi-ra is to call
something forward.
You see, when you're
dealing with magic,
you have to be very careful.
One letter can make
a big difference.
What?
Don't be so surprised,
Mr. Cooper.
( LAUGHING )
After all, did you think
your newly discovered power
came without a price?
( LAUGHTER )
Do you believe in magic now?
( CRASHES AGAINST WALL )
( LAUGHTER )
( MIRROR SHATTERS )
He knew.
That damn Merlin
knew this would happen!
It's gotta be here.
It's gotta be here.
"The Rejuvenation Potion
acts to replenish
"one's life force from
the natural effects of aging
"and the excessive use
of one's psychic powers."
Ingredients,
a pinch of sulfur, oh no!
Oh no!
Merlin, you bastard!
( GROWLING )
What's one letter?
Ingredients, a pinch of sulfur,
blood of human donor.
Oh, Madeleine!
( BED SHAKING )
( SCREAMING )
Hello, Madeleine.
Jonathan?
What's the matter, dear?
Don't you like my new look?
What have you done?
It's true!
He is who he says he is,
he is Merlin The Sorcerer!
No!
Not so fast, my dear.
I have wonderful things
in store for us.
Wonderful things.
( CRYING )
Ow!
Can't waste a drop!
Bel-tor-viva-ses-tra.
Here's looking at you,
sweetheart.
It's working!
It's working, look!
It's working!
( MIRROR SHATTERS )
( SCREAMING )
She got her wish!
You figured it out.
GRANDSON: How could I
not figure it out?
The whole thing
with the baby kangaroo
made it pretty obvious.
Too obvious, huh?
GRANDSON:
A little.
So because Jonathan was a jerk,
Merlin turned him into a baby?
Well, now you can't blame Merlin.
Jonathan turned himself
into a baby;
Merlin just gave him the book.
Yeah, right.
Merlin knew Jonathan
was going to read the spells,
and he knew what was going to
happen to him once he did.
Oh, you think so, huh?
You know I'm right.
( LAUGHS )
Well, Jonathan should never
have threatened Merlin
in the first place.
It's not wise to get
on the bad side of a sorcerer.
So what about Merlin's book?
How is he gonna get it back?
Remember the homing spell?
Oh yeah.
( YAWNS )
Uh-oh.
Time for bed, my boy.
Well, now wait a minute,
what about the toy monkey?
Oh. Oh.
Oh, the monkey!
Yeah, come on!
You're not too tired?
Grandpa.
( LAUGHS )
All right.
Now where were we?
Goodnight, Gwendolyn.
( SCREAMING )
Merl!
Merl, wake up!
Wake up!
Wake up!
That horrible little
monkey is gone!
Oh, how could you
let this happen?
Oh now Eli, calm down.
You know how your feet swell
when you get all upset.
Calm down.
How can I calm down
knowing that awful little imp
is out there somewhere?
I should never have let you
put that thing on display.
It was for show.
It added character.
And who would have though
some vagabond would steal it?
ZURELLA:That monkey has
beentrouble ever since you got
it.
Don't think Morgana didn't
know what she was doing.
Who knows what demons
she imprisoned in that thing!
You should never
have accepted it!
It was a gift on my birthday.
ZURELLA:
I don't care!
Trouble is that
conniving witch's middle name.
She's had it in for you
for years!
But you've just been
too good-hearted to see it.
If I recall,
you were a little mischievous
yourself when we first met.
Remember?
Oh, you!
I practically had to
drown you in my love potion
just to get your attention.
Oh! I was just
playing hard to get!
And besides, you know,
since your father
didn't like me,
I had to play my spells right.
What are you talking about?
Daddy liked you!
He liked everybody!
Nope, not me!
So, he thought
you were full of crazy ideas.
What else is new?
Do you think
he would have given you
his favorite rocking horse
if he didn't like you?
Well...
Of course not,
you silly old hoot.
( LAUGHS )
Oh!
This is awful, just awful!
And it's all your fault!
If only you placed that
homing
spell on that monkey,
like I told you to,
we wouldn't be in this mess.
I know, I know.
If I only knew where
he took it, I could...
ZURELLA:
That's it!
Oh!
We've gotta get out there
and track it down!
That thief must have
sold it by now
or maybe even traded it
for food.
You've gotta get out there
and find that thing
before it gets into
the wrong hands!
But where do I start?
It could be anywhere!
I don't care!
Just get out there
and be creative, now go!
Don't I get a kiss?
You'll get a lot more than that
if you don't go out there
and find that thing, now go! (
LAUGHS )
Why is Zurella so upset?
Because the monkey
is no ordinary toy.
What do you mean?
An evil spirit
lives inside the toy,
and Zurella is afraid
it might hurt somebody.
How did that evil spirit
get in there?
Well, it was imprisoned
by the evil witch Morgana,
Merlin's archenemy.
Oh, but that's another story.
Okay, okay.
Go on.
You sure you're not too tired?
Grandpa!
Okay, all right.
( MUSIC PLAYING )
Hey, it looks like
a great day for the fair.
DAVID:
I know, I know.
It's all I've been
hearing about all week!
( LAUGHS )
Hey, what's going on here?
Sorry girl, you can't
come with us this time.
Hey, come on.
Sparkle, come on.
Let's go. Let's go.
Come on. Come on.
Atta girl.
Oh, come on, David,
can't she come?
DAVID: First of all,
the name is not David.
It's Dad to you.
Okay, Dad, can't she come?
Look, it's gonna be
too hot in the car, son,
you don't want her
to get sick do you?
MICHAEL: No.
Okay.
Hey buckaroo, how about
if I take care of Sparkle
while you go to the fair?
Okay.
PETE: Come on, Sparkle,
let's go.
Atta girl.
DAVID: Thanks, Pete.
Just put her in the garage
when you go in,
if you don't mind.
Will do.
Have fun, Buckaroo.
( CAR STARTS )
Bye, Sparkle!
( MUSIC PLAYING )
Merl, where are you?
You've been gone so long.
There you are.
What are you doing
in that store?
You don't get ice cream
at a time like this.
No, no, no.
You're in the wrong place.
You've got to look further.
Concentrate.
Come on, be creative.
Where could it be?
I don't know.
( CLAPPING )
All right?
Alright pilgrim, I want you to
take a deep breath, make a wish,
and blow 'em all out.
( LAUGHING )
( CHEERING AND CLAPPING )
Come on, hurry up!
Yeah, I wanna see your presents!
Can we open my presents now?
DAVID: Don't you wanna eat
your cake first?
Nah, we could eat it later.
DAVID: All right, go for
it.
The big one!
DAVID: Open mine!
Open mine!
GIRL:
Open the red one!
Hey, why don't you
open Susan's first?
Okay.
DAVID:
Here we go.
Oh!
Whoa!
Where did you ever find that?
Look at that!
( CYMBALS )
( GIGGLING )
Thanks!
You're welcome.
Now let's open the big one.
Yeah!
DAVID: Yeah, yeah.
PETE: Let's see what's that,
what's in there?
Oh, what's it gonna be?
Come on, open it up!
Yeah!
Oh! Wow!
( KIDS PLAYING )
BOY: Chewbacca's dead.
( MUMBLING )
Ha ha ha ha.
Martianstien.
Rock and roll Martian.
Rock and roll Martian,
ha ha ha ha.
( LAUGHING )
Oh, I think it was a success.
I think you're right.
Hey, bring that thing over here
a minute, would you, Mike?
Can I play with it for a minute?
Sure!
Isn't he adorable?
Hey, where'd you
find this thing?
Oh, you know
that junk antique store
off the boulevard?
Yeah.
I saw it at the window
as I was passing by,
and I just couldn't resist.
I thought you said
the monkey was dangerous?
It is!
But it hasn't done anything.
Everybody likes it.
Give it time.
It may not do anything
that night,
but the next day.
Well, strange things
start to happen.
( MUSIC PLAYING )
What are you doing in there?
( LAUGHING )
God, you scared
the hell out of me!
Hey, I just came over
to see what the hell
you're tearing apart.
Aw man, I'm gonna
go back to bed.
So far today, I have broken
my toe and fractured my skull.
Aw!
I was tightening a clamp
on the air conditioner hose,
been meaning to do it
for a while.
Finally got to it.
You know how long it took?
Yeah.
Five minutes.
PETE: Uh-huh.
Playing gardener today?
Well, I was gonna
put some shrubs in,
but I think I'll work
on the old scooter for a while.
Oh yeah? Expecting a visit
from Better Homes and Gardens
anytime soon?
One would have to wonder
the way you've been
attacking that lawn.
I'm just trying to
clean the place up.
God knows I've neglected it
long enough.
Well, your lawn
always looks, uh...
Yeah, right.
( LAUGHING )
( PHONE RINGS )
I'll be right back.
Yeah, well, I'll be
out here awhile.
I got a little bit to do.
( PHONE RINGING )
Hello?
Oh, hello, Mother!
How are you?
No, everything's fine.
Michael's fine, we're all fine.
Yeah.
You enjoying your trip?
Great.
Great. When are you
coming home?
Okay, in three days.
Well, call me.
Call me and let me know
when to pick...
No, don't be silly, Mother.
Look, don't you dare take a cab.
I'm perfectly
able to pick you up.
Good.
Okay, well, enjoy
the rest of your trip.
Yeah.
Okay, I'll look forward
to seeing you too.
Okay, I will.
All right, see you
in a few days.
Bye-bye.
( FLY BUZZING )
( CYMBALS )
( MUSIC PLAYING )
Oh, excuse me.
Excuse me.
Get away from me.
I have mace.
Oh please, please,
I mean you no harm.
I'm simply trying
to find this toy monkey.
By chance, have you seen it?
Um, actually yes.
I'm... I'm sorry
for the way I behaved.
It's just that...
There's no need.
Well, no, it's just that
this isn't
a very good neighborhood.
I mean, you wouldn't
believe the weirdos.
You just can't be too careful.
You know, I mean, I know mace
is illegal and everything...
Of course, of course so.
I understand.
But you've said
you've seen the monkey?
Yes, um, yesterday
this weird guy brought it in.
I gave him $5 for it.
You have it?
No, I'm sorry I don't.
It sold shortly thereafter.
Blast it!
Look, I should be
getting back to work.
Please, by chance,
do you have any information
on the person who bought it?
No, I'm sorry.
She paid cash for it.
Oh, I see.
It was yours?
Uh-huh.
Stolen from my shop.
I hope you find it.
Have a nice day.
Bye.
( MONKEY'S CYMBALS )
Michael?
Michael?
Michael?
Michael?
Oh! God.
Oh, Michael,
you scared me to death.
Hi, Dad!
( LAUGHING ) God. Come here,
give me a kiss and a hug.Okay.
Where's Sparkle?
I though you were
playing with her?
I put her in the garage
so when I scared you,
she couldn't make noise.
You rascal!
You planned this whole thing?
( LAUGHS )
Yup!
Well, it worked.
You scared me.
I think I'll go let her in now.
Okay, go.
( TOY LASER GUN )
Charlotte.
I think we must have
given her too much food, son.
Yeah, but she was so skinny.
Well, she's
supposed to be skinny.
Fish aren't made
to eat very much.
Can we bury her now?
Yeah, we can.
We'll put her right
out front, okay?
( SINISTER LAUGH )
I'm the old pincushion man,
terror of bologna land.
Folks all hate me,
how they hate me...
Oh, hi Mike!
Hi.
So, where's your dad?
( GLASS BREAKING )
Never mind!
Hi!
Hi.
What did you do?
I cut myself.
Oh, Mr. Goodwrench.
( BANGING ON GARAGE DOOR )
PETE: Hey!
Yeah?
PETE:
Hey, Dave?
( BANGING ON GARAGE DOOR )
Yes, Pete?
PETE: Hey, are you in
there?
Yes, Pete.
PETE: Well, get out here!
I need some help working on a...
All right, I'll be right out.
Always wants something,
doesn't he?
( DOG WHINNING )
Anything good on?
Cartoons!
Cartoons?
What you need?
I gotta time this thing.
Could you get in
and turn it over
a couple of times for me?
Sure.
( CARTOONS PLAYING )
( LAUGHING )
( YELPS )
( DOG WHINNING )
( CARTOONS PLAYING )
I'll get buff! I'll get
tough.
I'll just call his bluff.
Oh no! Oh no!
( DOG CRYING )
( CAR ENGINE STARTS )
Do it again.
( CAR ENGINE STARTS )
Hold it.
I'm not gonna be able to do it
like this, not mechanically. I'm
gonna need my timing light.
You wouldn't know where it,
would you, old buddy?
Uh, it's probably in my garage.
You probably left it in there.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah.
( LAUGHS )
I'll go get it.
( DOG CRYING )
Sparkles?
( MONKEY'S CYMBALS )
Sparkle?
Sparkle!
( COUGHS )
Sparkle!
Stay inside!
Oh!
Stay here, honey.
David what happened?
It's okay.
You okay?
It's out.
Yeah. It's out.
Where's Sparkle?
I'm sorry, Mike.
Sparkle's dead.
No!
The monkey killed the dog?
I told you, it's a bad toy!
What happens next?
Does it kill Michael?
Now you're getting ahead of me.
First things first.
You see, David, Michael's father
starts to get suspicious,
so he calls
a psychic friend of his.
A what?
A psychic.
You know, someone
who can see into the future,
talk to ghosts.
You know, a clairvoyant...
Oh, a clairvoyant.
Why didn't you say so?
Anyway.
He tells her
about the strange things
that have been going on,
and she, being sensitive
in that area,
senses that something
in his house
might be possessed
by an evil spirit.
Well, it doesn't take long
to figure out what it could be.
DAVID: So what did you learn
from your reading?
Just a refresher.
I remembered that demons can
only be brought into this world
through someone
who already exists here.
They can't come on their own.
Sometimes demons
are brought here unwillingly,
causing them to be volatile
and hostile.
Well, aren't they already
volatile and hostile?
I mean, they are demons.
Yes. But they can be worse when
they're conjured
without their consent.
Look Adrian, I've been thinking.
My son just had a birthday,
and one of his presents
was this antique toy monkey.
Oh, I see.
Sit down right there, Dave.
You're not going to
like this, David,
but we have a very serious
situation here.
Now unfortunately,
I'm not going to be able
to deal with it personally
because of its nature;
you're going to have to
deal with it alone.
Why do I have to
deal with it alone?
Well, listen to me, David.
As a psychic, I have an aura
of a certain nature
that the demon would
unquestionably sense.
The moment I stepped
into your house,
all hell would break loose,
literally.
Yeah, but what am I
supposed to do?
I don't know anything
about evil spirits.
Get that toy out of your house.
I have a feeling that's not
going to be so easy to do.
What's that?
It's called a bethogram.
DAVID: It's supposed to
protect
me from the demon, huh?
Yes. Just keep it in your
possession at all times.
Great. Should I wear garlic
around my neck too?
My god, David!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I appreciate your help,
but I just wish you could come.
ADRIAN:
I know!
I am sorry.
I wish I could do
the exorcism for you,
but this is something
you'll have to do on your
own.
And remember, David,
never let it know!
PETE:
Hey, Dave!
Hi.
Man, you look terrible.
Thanks.
When's the last time
you got some sleep?
I think it was
the week before last.
That bad, huh?
Yeah, yeah.
Is there anything I can do?
As a matter of fact, yeah.
Name it.
Can you take Mike
for about an hour?
No problem.
I'm gonna go downtown,
get some parts for the car, run a
few errands.
Oh, great.
Hey, if there is a friend
of the year award, buddy, you
get it. No problem.
Listen, send him over
as soon as you want, and we'll
go.
Great.
Thanks, Pete.
PETE:
Get some sleep!
( MONKEY CYMBALS )
Hi, Dad!
Oh, Mike!
Come here a second, Mike.
Hey, Pete's gonna go shopping.
Why don't you give him a hand?
In his old Chevy?
Yeah!
Yeah, take off. Go.
Okay!
ADRIAN: ( A MEMORY )
Remember,
David, never let it know
that you're aware
of its presence.
DAVID: Do you think
it would know?
ADRIAN:
Yes.
( WHISTLING )
Damn!
Bingo!
Bye-bye.
( MUSIC PLAYING )
( DOORBELL RINGS )
Surprise!
Hey, hi!
What's in the bag?
Well, Mikey and I
went down to the store.
You didn't look too good earlier
so I though we'd poolour
resources and cook tonight.
Oh great! I feel fine now though.
Yeah?
You take a nap?
No, I cleaned the house.
Oh very interesting.
And so of course,
this makes you feel better, hm?
DAVID:
Exactly.
Yeah, sure whatever.
Say, do you do windows?
( LAUGHS )
( KNOCKS OVER TRASH CAN )
Hey, baby.
What's happening?
Bug off!
Nooooooo!!!
Watch out!
Oh, shit!
( CAR BRAKES )
Look out!
DAVID:
Michael!
Hey, Pete!
Get him inside, will ya?
Hey, Mike, you all right?
What the hell you doing?
Get him inside!
PETE:Why didn't you watch
where you're going? I was!
I didn't see him!
Yeah, you're looking
at pretty ladies.
You okay?
What's going on?
Where are you going?
Get Mike inside,
I'll be back in 10 minutes!
You're gonna have to do better
than that, you little bastard!
Let's see you get out of this!
God help me!
( THUNDER )
( LAUGHING )
Ahhhh!
MAN: ( ON TV )
It's a trap!
( CARTOONS PLAYING )
( PHONE RINGS )
Hello?
Oh, hi, Mom!
Where are ya?
Okay I'll be right down.
Oh, she is, huh?
Okay, yeah.
You did, huh?
Yeah I'm sure
he'll be surprised.
Okay, I'll see you
in a little while. Yeah.
Bye-bye.
Hey, grandma's at the airport.
She'll be here
in a little while.
All right!
Why don't you go make sure
your room is clean, huh?
Okay.
And put on a clean shirt
while you're at it, will ya?
I like this shirt.
Michael, that shirt is filthy.
Will you change it
so Grandma doesn't think
I've been falling down
on the job?
Okay.
Well, look at you.
What gypsy ring
do you belong to?
Gypsy ring?
Yeah, what's with the costume?
It's certainly not Halloween.
Forgive me.
Jake Cosgrove.
Nice to know you.
Merlin.
Of course.
So Merlin, well, you look like
a man who likes his trinkets.
As it happens, I own a small
trinket stand across the way.
Well, it's uh... it's no use.
Well, you never know.
I got a lot of stuff.
Well, no, no, no, no.
It's my monkey.
I've looked everywhere.
I just, I can't find it.
You lost a monkey?
What, a chimpanzee
from your show?
No. A toy monkey.
A toy monkey?
You mean, the kind with cymbals?
You've seen it?
That's the damnedest thing.
This morning, some bum walks up
and says for a dollar,
he'll give me this toy monkey.
You know, like the one
you're looking for.
It was in good condition,
so I said okay.
You've got it?
You're not going to believe
this, not about an hour ago,
an old lady pulls up in a car
and offers me 20 bucks for it.
Twenty bucks!
I couldn't believe it.
So, you sold it to her?
Damn right. I would've
given her half my cart
for 20 bucks.
Well, did you get her name
or where she lives?
Anything?
Well actually, yeah.
Her name's Marie Andrews.
312 Maple Drive.
Granted I don't usually
accept checks,
but she looked
respectful enough.
( CHATTERING )
Oh, thank you, darling, so much!
I'll give you a call.
FEMALE DRIVER:
Oh, please do!
Ok darling, alright.
DRIVER: Bye-bye!
Mary!
Oh, my I've missed you!
Welcome home!
Oh, thank you so much!
Why didn't you call me?
Oh well, Sarah...
I would have come to get you. (
GROANS ) Sand in here?
Sarah was at the airport
which worked out
just wonderfully.
You have the best luck, I swear.
Oh, tell me, how are you, Pete?
Fine.
Oh, good.
And do you have any new
old cars to tell me about?
Well, I sold the old Chevy,
and I'm gonna start
on the old Buick next.
Oh, great.
How is everything?
Fine, except that son
of yours is a lousy cook.
Oh! ( LAUGHS )
And how was Hawaii?
Wonderful!
( LAUGHING )
Well, Pete, I might just
tell him you know.
Grandma!
Oh, Michael!
How are you, darling?
Oh damn,
wouldn't you know it, Mary,
there's my phone.
I'll talk to you later.
All right, Pete.
Thank you so much!
PETE: Welcome home.
Oh, thank you!
Michael, how are you?
Fine. Is that for me?
DAVID: Is that you, Mom?
Yes!
How was your birthday?
Did you have a party?
Yeah. Can I open
my present now?
Well, take it over to the table
and wait till Dad comes.
Okay?
Okay.
DAVID: Mom!
MARY: Hi!
Oh David!
What has happened to you?
Don't even ask, Mom.
Have you been in
an accident or something?
Look, you wouldn't believe me
if I told you.
Can I open my present now?
Please, Grandma!
Please?
Yes, dear, you may.
David, are you sure
you're feeling all right?
I'm sure, Mom, just fine.
I'm fine.
Hey, did you see how well
I took care of your plants?
Oh, they're beautiful!
I can't believe
how much they've grown!
( LAUGHS )
Dad, look!
Isn't it, darling?
Michael, go outside!
David?
Don't ask questions, Mom.
( BOTH TALKING
OVER EACH OTHER )
David, David!
Mom!
Dad! Dad!
Dad!
DAVID: Open it!
MICHAEL: I can't!
David!
Get out of the way, Michael!
MICHAEL: Dad!
DAVID:
Run faster! Go!
Get in the car!
Mom, there's no time
to explain now.
Just get into the car!
Michael, get in...
Oh! You found it.
Sweetheart,
you can come home now.
GRANDPA: And so with the monkey
back in Merlin's possession,
Merlin could return home
with renewed hope.
Of course
he'd still have to decide
what to do with the monkey
to ensure nothing like this
ever happened again.
MERLIN:
I'll deal with you later.
But for now,
content that everything
was back to normal,
Merlin could re-open his shop
and continue his quest
to inspire the hopes
and dreams of all those
whose lives would soon
touch his own.
Goodnight, boy.
My goodness, you've grown big.
There you are.
( MUSIC PLAYING )