Men & Chicken (2015) - full transcript

This is the story
of some brothers,

whom Nature hadn't
dealt the best of cards.

In fact, they hadn't been
dealt any cards at all.

Yet, like everyone else,

they would dream of
achieving great things...

as well as lesser
great things.

About surviving,

and, in time,
passing on life.

MEN AND CHICKEN

Dad?
It's Gabriel.

- Gabriel?
- Don't exert yourself by talking.



Is Elias coming too?

Elias will be here later.

He has to be here.

Sure, most of them are nice,

but, of course, some are daunted
by that fact that I'm in a wheelchair.

A guy I was chatting with the other day
logged off after I sent him a picture.

- But I'm really happy we could meet.
- You're a psychotherapist, right?

I have this recurring dream for
years now, and it won't go away.

It always starts out fine.
I'm in this this dark room,

when, suddenly, this crazy bird
with huge wings comes flying in.

- But it has a human head, you see.
- Sounds like an angel.

You cut me off there. I don't want you
to do that again. You sense that?

- Let's refrain from that entirely.
- Sorry.

But did you agree to meet just
to tell me about your problems?



What do you mean?
What a crazy thing to say.

You can't be serious.

So I seek out psychotherapists just to
save the DKK 875 an hour plus taxes?

That's a lunatic question!
This is all highly offensive.

Can I go on without interruptions?
Good.

So, I try and hug the bird, but, oh, no.
It just pulls away from me.

That's when I realise it's my brother.
And then the fury rises up in me.

I beat it violently, and I tie it up
and then I break off its wings,

the sound is very realistic sound.
Like pulling a drumstick off a chicken.

And then I...

- Well, I rape it.
- The bird or your brother?

That's what I'm saying. You really have
to rub it in? And no interrupting!

You're a terrible therapist, if you keep
interrupting your clients like that.

Your job is to listen. Do all
wheelchair users interrupt this much?

- Yes, who is this now?
- It's Gabriel.

- Gabriel? Hi.
- I'm calling from the hospital.

- I think it's best you came.
- If you're there, I'll be right over.

How are you doing?
I'm on a date... again.

She sure is hot.
She's got wheels.

Dad's dead, Elias.

Easy does it.
There, there, Elias.

So it finally happened, huh?
And I didn't even get to say goodbye.

Don't worry about it.
Sit down, will you?

Elias, sit down.

Elias, let go.

- Let go of me, damn it.
- Sorry.

And would you please
wash your hands.

- Did he manage to say any last words?
- No. But he left us a video tape.

We're going to watch a video
together? At your place?

Did Dad say what
film he'd rented?

Is Tanja coming too?
- We split up three months ago.

Oh. So she slipped away as well.
Did she want kids?

Could you please
just be quiet?

Maybe Tanja leaving
was for the best.

She came between us, Gabriel.

It's like that with all of them.
They develop secret crushes on me.

And then, when you tell them
you can't have kids, well...

They can tell that I can.

- But now we'll see more of each other.
- It's starting.

No, thanks.

There.
It's rolling now.

Gabriel and Elias,
when you see this,

I'll have gone home to God.

The past should be a cornerstone
of every person's life.

And in your case, especially,

seeing as none of you have great
prospects of raising a family.

But the fact is...

I never told you the truth
about your past and parentage.

I am not your biological father.

Your real father was
called Evelio Thanatos.

And Mom wasn't your
biological mother either.

You don't even have the same mother.
Elias' mother died in childbirth.

Two years later, Evelio met your
mother, Gabriel, and they had you.

It can't just end there.

What about my mom?
There's got to be more.

We're still brothers.
We still have the same dad.

- Right, Gabriel?
- It all makes perfect sense.

I've always said that you
couldn't possibly be my brother.

- We don't even look alike.
- We do! We're two peas in a pod.

- And we both have brown eyes!
- You're a foot taller than me.

- Of course! I'm your big brother.
- You're my half-brother.

From now on we're just half-brothers.
Remember that.

Listen to this:

"Evelio Thanatos,
Danish-Italian geneticist.

A pioneer within stem cell research.
Resides on the island of Ork. "

- He's still alive?
- Ork is down south.

Part of the Danish Realm.
42 inhabitants as per March 1st.

- You intend to go down there?
- He's our real father.

Oh. Why hasn't he written to
you if he's such a real dad?

I have to go down there.
You don't have to come. I'll call you.

- I'll go with you.
- You don't have to.

Let's sort out the paperwork,
so you can catch the last bus home.

- I really want to go on that trip.
- No, Elias.

I couldn't find anything
on my mom,

but our dad was excluded from
the Society of Science in 1966,

due to some scientific dispute.

I do get a distinct impression
of a shy and reserved family.

No photos exist of them,
which I find quite sympathetic.

- It's not good to be excluded.
- Well, many great thinkers have been.

Copernicus, Tesla, Spinoza,

Kepler, Darwin.
I've had my run-ins with the faculty.

Darwin, that loser. What a moron.
You like him too now, do you?

- Darwin was no moron.
- Oh, yes. His idea was a stroke of luck.

He might as well have spent 15 years
proving a thesis that didn't stick.

Then how great would
you think he was?

It was pure luck,
stumbling upon the species thing.

Exactly like Einstein struck luck
with the theory of relativity.

Einstein received the
Nobel Prize in Physics, Elias.

In 1921,
the lamest year in Physics.

They're all fools,
but you're too gullible to see it.

It's time again.
Pull over at the next lay-by.

- Hey there. Can you take us across?
- I'm afraid there's no room.

- When is the next ferry?
- We sail Mondays and Thursdays.

You can park over there and buy
a couple of walk-on tickets.

How can they have such a small ferry?
Why can't we get to go, Gabriel?

That's really poor service.
That is!

She got here first?
That's the world's worst argument.

My brother's car weighs 274 kg less
according to the technical specs.

Stop ignoring me!

Evelio's somewhat a legend on Ork.
He'll turn 100 next year.

- What about his wife?
- I don't know anything about that.

- He's had a few, I believe.
- I see.

Hell, I don't know him like that.
I'm just his doctor.

- But he is well?
- Sure.

- They still live at the old sanitarium.
- And he has had how many wives?

This is insane!
He's just hiding in his Hi.

- Elias.
- Hi.

In exactly what way are
you related to Evelio?

- We're his sons.
- Chips and blocks and all that.

We'd be hard to write off as a bad
catch, in case you have daughters.

He just stuck his head out of the window.
Hello! I'm talking to you! Yes, you!

This is no place to live. There's not
a single soul to sleep with around here.

Thank you so much
for the ride, Ingrid.

- Elias, you'd better wait out here.
- How come?

- We don't want to startle them.
- Why would we startle them?

They're elderly people, you know.
Both of us at once may be too much.

I have to use their bathroom
having been near her and all.

Maybe just go do
it behind that tree.

You can keep watch just
like when we were kids.

- Promise to come and get me?
- Yes. I promise.

Can I help you?

- Anything wrong?
- No. No, not at all.

Does Evelio Thanatos
live here?

Yes, but he's got an infection,
so he's taking a nap.

- Thank you for stopping by.
- What kind of infection?

- Trypanosomiasis.
- Trypanosomiasis is very serious.

Did you do a molecular biological test
of the species-specific parameters?

- Are you from the hospital?
- No... no...

- Who are you?
- I'm Gregor, his son.

- Anything wrong with that?
- Oh, no, not at all.

It's just I'm his son too.

I think.

My name is Gabriel.

Franz!

If it's the hospital, tell them to go.
They need the authorities' consent.

Franz, get out here!

- Brief summary, please.
- Gabriel. He's not from the hospital.

But he asked if we'd done a molecular
biological test of Dad's infection.

- Immediately, all my red flags came up.
- You've got to leave us alone.

Dad is ill and sleeping.
This is private property.

- He also says we're all brothers.
- Yes, look.

This is your brother Elias.
He's waiting by the road.

- Is that you right there?
- Yes. That's me when I was two.

And Elias is five.

- How did you get to look like that?
- Cosmetic reconstructive surgery.

I've had four operations.

- Why did we only have surgery once?
- Because once is just fine.

- It's a subjective opinion
- Are you calling my kid brother ugly?

You interrupted me.
You don't interrupt.

Leave the situation, conflict solved.
You just sail back to the hospital.

You haven't got
a thing on us.

- Why is your nose bleeding?
- It's nothing. Let's go.

Who punched you in the nose?
You can tell me. I won't hurt them.

I tripped.
Don't do anything.

- Was it the dad?
- No, he was asleep.

There!
Someone's coming.

I think it's a BMW.
Gabriel, you see best at night.

He's seen us.

- What was that?
- Just a rabbit.

Well, it was one
helluva rabbit.

It must be the guys Auntie Ingrid
talked about. Stop the car, Ellen.

Gabriel.
Gabriel!

No!

He's dead.

- He's dead, he's dead, he's dead...
- No no, he's fine. He is sitting up.

Welcome to the island. I'm Flemming.
My sister gave you a ride earlier.

Come on inside and
say hello to Ellen.

I believe it's been 40 years since
our last collision on this island.

But Ellen's still afraid of being
violently assaulted, if she goes out.

But like I always say:

The violence hasn't increased.
People just got more squeamish.

Before I was elected mayor,
I sailed to Mexico.

- You're the mayor of the island?
- Yes, going on 32 years.

Damn it, she's hot. Is it okay with you,
if I do her before we sail back?

The mayor's daughter.

You guys go inside with Ellen.
I'll just check the tower.

- What tower? Your tower?
- The stork tower.

The island's had a stork from back
when my sister and I were children.

But then it just disappeared. I put
up hay and food in case it returns.

It won't!
It's dead and gone a long time ago.

Then it's young or their young will.
They always return eventually.

GROWTH AND LIFE
FLEMMING ABOTT

Franz sure packs a hard punch.
All the boys do.

- What did he hit you with, the coot?
- The mute swan or some large bird.

Thank your maker, otherwise.
you'd still be walking backwards.

- Does their mother live at the house?
- None of them have the same mother.

Besides, they're all dead, I think.
Franz' mother is, at any rate.

They say Gregor's and Josef's
mothers died in childbirth.

So did Elias' mother.
That's a statistical improbability.

The truth, nevertheless. The old ones
here call Evelio "The Sausage of Death".

The humour on this island
tends to be pretty basic.

The Summer Variety Show
never was a hit back in the day.

They're all insane up
at the sanatorium.

If you have family elsewhere,
go and visit them instead.

Take your brother and leave. This
island is dying, and the people with it.

Stop chasing people
off the island, Ellen.

Much can be said about Franz and the
boys, but all they need is a firm hand.

I used to help out with
the handiwork

back when Franz worked at the
kindergarten and was away a lot.

Ellen worked as
their cleaning lady.

But she suddenly stopped after
she and Franz had a falling out.

We didn't fall out.
He beat me up with a stuffed beaver.

- I still can't chew with my right side.
- Who beats people with beavers?

It was your own damn fault, Ellen.
Go on. Admit it.

No, Elias!
Sit down and wait.

Oh, leave the youngsters be.

Have another macaroon.
Ellen bakes.

Good, huh?

It's just me.

- Who beat you with an animal?
- Oh, that it doesn't matter.

Sure it does. I'll help you if anyone
beats you with animals, no problem.

You sure have a lovely room.

- How about I cook us up a nice meal?
- You want to cook now?

- Sure. What else did you think?
- Oh, I don't know.

I just ate patty shells
at my auntie's.

- What is it that you...
- Yes, what do I want? It's hard to say...

They're really
going at it, huh?

Oh, please excuse my brother.
Did he hurt you?

No. I guess I just had
too much to eat.

You have some
macaroon there.

You have a little
something there, too.

Oh, that's just asparagus.

You bake quite a lot?

Sure,
when I have the time.

Gabriel,
stay away from that one.

She pukes on everyone.
Step away from my brother, please.

- We didn't bring a change of clothes,
you see? Go away, pig. - No, Elias!

You old pig.

Well, I just...
Boy, that's a lot of baking pins, huh?

- Dreaming again?
- Yeah. Just the usual one.

- And you? You still never sleep?
- No.

This is really sad.

1,754 people lived here in 1938
when the sanitarium closed.

Now only 41 are left. They don't even
have a church. It burned in 1984.

Who lets his daughter stuff herself
with eight cream-filled patty shells?

He's a bad mayor.
That is really poor leadership.

Elias, I really think you should
try and talk to our brothers.

You want to go back?
To those brothers?

It makes no sense. Surely our
mothers didn't all die in childbirth.

It's plain suicide.

Elias is great at handling conflict.
He speaks their language.

I know you're in there, and I'm
pretty damn sure you can hear me.

We mean you no harm,
and I'm not from the hospital.

Franz. I'm not mad at you for beating
Gabriel with the mute swan.

It happens to the best of us, but we're
your flesh and blood, your brothers.

We have just as much right to see
our biological parents as you do.

Gabriel is right here, and he has
several questions about our mothers

that he demands
Evelio answers now.

Let's all act like adults here,
and let reason prevail this night.

I'll give you 20 seconds, starting now,
to open that door

or the house will be surrounded,
and then it's out of my hands.

Hey, hey, that's industrial cast-iron.
If that pot had hit me in the head...

- What are you doing?
- Did you see the size of that pot?

- But you know them.
- When they're in this mood, you run.

- We'll return after they've
cooled off. - Elias!

Wait. Wait! Not the pot, Gregor.
I'm your brother!

Hey, did you hear me?

Give me some
working space here.

What the hell did
you beat me with?

- A rolling pin.
- A strolling bin?

Oh, a rolling pin.

Phew! You fight dirty,
but you sure fight well.

Thanks.

Well, I'd better get back to Ellen and
sink my teeth into her fried flounder.

- Shouldn't a real doctor look at him?
- Shut up, Gregor. He's not in pain.

- No. He just needs to finish his tea.
- Not in pain? My legs are numb!

You're fine. Your back ligaments
are severed, that's all. It'll pass.

I demand to speak to our father,
and then I want to go to the hospital.

- Our sister. Can't you call her?
- Ingrid? Oh, that won't do.

Let's all calm down now.
Hasn't Evelio got an old wheelchair?

- Sure. He's got several.
- So throw him into one of those, then.

Bye, Flemming.

It's nice to see you boys getting along.
Families should stick together.

And if you end up staying, just make
sure to inform the national register.

- Go home now, Flemming.
- Sure. But don't forget to register.

- Give my best to Evelio.
- He's desperate for more inhabitants.

The Geodetic Institute strikes towns
with less than 40 off the map.

- When does Dad usually wake up?
- Oh, he can sleep all day.

- Don't you have jobs to attend?
- No. Thanks to Ingrid Abott.

She got me wrongfully dismissed
from the kindergarten,

and she wants us forcibly removed.
We have to be careful.

- What do you do?
- Oh, Elias doesn't do much.

I teach philosophy and evolutionary
psychology at the university.

- Also, I'm an author.
- I see. So what are your books about?

So far I've only written one,
and, basically, it was about,

the human struggle
to find answers.

- Answers?
- Yes.

Be it from philosophy,
science or God.

We're all searching
for answers.

That's what
we're all trying.

- Who's trying what?
- We're all trying to find meaning.

- The meaning of what?
- Of everything. Of life, you know?

Who are we, and where we come from.
Those kind of questions.

- Who wants that again? God?
- God? No, us human beings. All of us.

All human beings.
You and me.

That doesn't seem very
well contemplated.

- You should write a book about cheese.
- About cheese?

Have any of you got an education?
Any schooling?

Perhaps some kind of relationship
with science, philosophy or God?

We had a donkey once.
That's kinda up that alley.

Come out, Josef!

How can a house this big have just one
bathroom? It's really poor construction.

Go away. Your obstinacy complicates
the situation and our new friendship.

I see your point.

- How about upstairs?
- No. Dad is not to be disturbed.

Please distance yourself from the
door and await the toilet situation.

Can I have some toilet paper then?
Is that okay?

Handsome, isn't he?
He's our stud bull, Isak the Eighth.

Dad bred him.
Handsome, huh?

He's all right.

He provided semen for more than
43,000 heifers all across Europe.

Oh.
He did? Well, well...

But how many times a day can he perform
when you put him to the test?

They come over from the mainland
to collect his semen once a month.

That's more than enough.

- How long do you think you'll stay?
- I don't know.

We could really use some help.
Dad is really not very well.

- 43.000, you say?
- Yes.

Isak is quite unique. That's why he's
the only animal we don't touch.

- What do you mean?
- If we do, we're thrown in the cage.

It's okay. We have loads
of chickens, anyway.

It's easier, too.
Isak has a tendency to kick.

Want to come meet them?

Come.

They like it when you stroke
them under the beak.

- Would you like one?
- No.

Don't be afraid.

Hell, I'm not afraid
of those things.

It doesn't hurt them.
There's plenty of room.

- They're used to laying eggs, you know.
- Hey, you said too much right there.

What is it they
have room for?

You're sick Gregor! You think I want
to do stuff with an ugly chicken?

Think I'm into ugly chickens?

We're just practicing until we
meet some girls, you know.

That's it! Goddammit,
that's sick!

You're a creep, Gregor!

Dig in.
Gregor slaughtered it himself.

Won't Evelio be joining us?

No. We'll save a
drumstick for him.

Thanks, but I don't eat chicken
on Fridays or Tuesdays.

Oh. You're lucky
there's cheese later.

- Aren't you having any, Josef?
- I'm not hungry.

Eat now, or you won't get any cheese.

- I don't care.
- You won't get anything later.

- Dinnertime's now.
- It tastes bad on this plate.

- Let Josef use the dog plate tonight.
- But I'm using it.

He's got the chicken.
He's had the dog plate all week.

Regarding tableware, each night is
independent of the night before.

- And I have the dog plate now.
- He always has the dog plate.

- I refuse to eat. The chicken is bad.
- Stop it!

It all tastes the same.
The chicken isn't bad.

Gregor, just give Josef the dog plate.
Be a grown-up, now.

- No. - You can have mine.
It's an owl.

I'm not a complete idiot.
The owl is even worse than the chicken.

It's sweet of you, Elias, but
the owl plate is the worst one.

Everyone wants the dog.

- Gregor, just give him the dog plate.
- Why does Josef always get his way?

Josef has the dog plate tonight.
That's final!

Act up again, and we're
throwing you in the cage.

- No, Elias!
- There goes your cheese platter.

- No, he's biting me!
- You're back to biting again? Let go!

- No!
- Let go! Let go!

Elias... Elias!

No...

Elias!
Elias!

99.2% of all species that ever
existed on our planet are extinct.

Mass extinction is, defined as 60-96%
of all species on earth becoming extinct

has occurred at least five times
within the past 440 million years.

Most recently, 65 million years ago
when the dinosaurs died out.

No single cause can be established.
Yes?

You do bedtime stories?

- Can I join you?
- Yes, of course.

- What about Gabriel?
- Oh, no. He hates bedtime stories.

He prefers reading alone.

- Skip the interpretation, Josef.
- Thank you, Franz.

If we were to return to the ice age,
the outcome would surely be different.

Species, genera, races don't die out
due to specific reasons. They just do.

Humans, animals, plants,
we'll all subject to chance.

- Thank you, Josef.
- One more?

- Yes.
- No.

Yes.

Hello.

Evelio?

Hello.

Won't you join us for a bedtime story?
It's out of bounds up here.

- He sounds well enough. Sure he's ill?
- Yes. It's the medicine. Perks him up.

- He's not to be disturbed.
- I just really want to meet him.

Now you listen here!
You're coming downstairs now.

This is out of bounds.
It's bedtime.

- Elias. Elias! Now's the time!
- For what?

- We have to go upstairs and check.
- We can't. He's sick.

Oh, come on.
Something's totally off here. Help me.

God, it smells like cheese in here.
Why do we have to sleep in here?

Because Josef goes for the cheese
at night. Franz is using us as a shield.

- So lock up and give us another room.
- The animals occupy the other rooms.

Gabriel, there really is
a lot of animals here.

Please, help me.

- Go on, kick it in.
- But they'll hear us.

- We'd better stick to the rules.
- Just kick it in!

It was locked earlier.

Evelio?

He won't run out
of reading material.

Phew! These books smell really strange.
Come take a whiff.

They're all non-fiction.
Not one dull book, Gabriel.

Oh. You won't get
much out of him.

Are you sad?

With luck we might
still find your mom.

Gabriel, let's just
go back to bed.

How did you get in upstairs?

Give me Dad's book.

Touch Dad's things again, and I'll
throw you in the cage. Understood?

Did they go in the cheese? I did point
out the hazards of the, sleeping here.

- There are no cheese irregularities.
- What's up?

Ignore the situation, Elias.
Go back to sleep.

Come...

I said come, Josef.

Elias?

Out! Good morning, Gabriel.
You slept all night. Slept like a log.

- Focus on the game.
- Elias, come here for a second.

- Out.
- No way that's out. Stop lying.

I'm right next to it.
The closest one calls it. Serve change.

- How can it be out when it's there?
- It bounced back on court.

- Shuttlecocks do that. Keep up!
- It was nowhere near out.

- I'm serving, please.
- Josef, butt out!

Shut up!

I'll be damned.
You interrupted me.

- Don't do that.
- Yes, don't interr...

Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!

What the hell is wrong with you?
Our dad is lying dead upstairs,

and you're down here
playing doubles.

Yes, I'd much rather play singles.
Two randomly combined teams.

- You burn far more calories...
- Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Someone got out of
bed on the wrong side.

Just let him roll away.
Let's play.

Gabriel, I'm sorry.

We should've told someone before
he began to smell and look funny.

- Yes, you probably should have.
You're all insane. - I know.

But we're your brothers,
and you're almost well again...

I have so many questions to ask you.
Elias says you've had a girlfriend.

I unlocked the door for you.
Upstairs.

You have to help us get rid of Dad.
We won't get girls over until he's gone.

- Girls? And how long has he been
dead up there? - A long time.

It turned out it didn't matter
much if he was dead or alive.

Other than we didn't have
to go in the cage anymore.

And what about our mothers, Gregor?
Do you know where they are?

It's always just been us.
They all died giving birth to us.

Of course they didn't all die, come on.
Be honest.

I think they just left.
Dad wasn't a very nice man to be around.

We probably weren't that nice either.
We were a really loud bunch of kids.

Dad was always busy, working on
his experiments in the basement.

It was out!

Please help us with Dad.

Don't stand in front of the door, Mort.
Step away from the door.

They're here.

It's a crazy overreaction to bury Dad
now. He'll turn 100 in eight months.

You know he doesn't.
Franz, let's go out.

Girls will never go home with you,
if your Dad's lying dead in the house.

- Isn't that right, Elias?
- Well, a few might.

Otherwise you just bike over to them
and try to get into their rooms.

- Franz.
- No.

- Is it here?
- Yes.

- Alright, watch out for the door.
- Here?

That's what I thought.
It's definitely a trapped nerve.

You're a godsend. I've tried to have
your brothers removed so many times.

- So why didn't you?
- It's complicated.

I need the authorities' consent, and
Flemming won't have them removed.

But now you're here.

I never saw them so nice
and clean while Evelio was alive.

He'd let them stay in those cages for
days while he worked in the basement.

- What kind of research did he do?
- I don't know, and I don't want to.

But now you can educate them.
Give me your arms.

There you go.

Careful with Dad!

Gabriel, if you're back on your feet,
you could give us a hand.

Now, if you want to help!

- What book is that?
- A Bible I borrowed from Mort.

We aren't allowed
to read that, Gabriel.

Dad only allowed non-fiction, manuals
and selected philosophical thesis.

- But Dad just drove off.
- Precisely. Dad's gone now.

- But you don't even believe in God.
- My beliefs are beside the point.

Bottom line is we need to make
some changes around here. Come.

- What are you doing?
- It's Dad's basement? It's locked?

- It's out of bounds.
- Says who?

I do! No one enters the basement.
That's final.

What book is that?

The Bible is widely considered the
foundation of Western ideology.

It's said to contain several simplified
guidelines for our civilisation.

- I've always wanted to read it.
- And you will, Josef.

I suggest nightly discussions, based
on the Bible, about how to behave.

Out of the question. You can't
just come and mess with our rules.

It really is a
silly book, Gabriel.

If it helps, you could perhaps consider
it as a behavioral manual, Franz?

That book has to go. That's final!
End of discussion.

Tell him about the Wild Duck, Gabriel.

- The Wild Duck? - Yes.
We're meeting Susan on Wednesday.

You and I are off to the kindergarten
to discuss your possible reemployment.

- I guess that would be nice.
- I can't promise anything. We'll see.

But you have to stop beating each other
and start communicating instead.

Communicating?
What the hell?

What Gabriel is trying to say is that
human survival depends on communication.

Animals rely on passing down instincts,
while, without relevant communication

the human species will degenerate.
That's it, right, Gabriel?

Yes, Josef.

We must use words, not violence,
to solve conflicts.

We need systems and order.

- We have order and systems.
- Stop it, Franz.

If we learn all this,
there'll be girls.

We'll see about that. Let's begin by
tidying up and washing our clothes.

The animals go outside,
the cheese goes in the kitchen.

We must wash our hands after going
to the bathroom and before eating.

- And no more bunking up.
- That does it!

- You bunk with Elias.
- And that also ends now.

This is utter madness.

- No more bedtime stories either?
- Sure. Bedtime stories are fine...

Could we introduce the rule of raising
a finger or another visible body part

when one wishes to speak,
instead of interrupting?

Good idea.
Excellent, Josef.

- I'm freezing.
- Let's give it a try. Go to sleep.

Think about the
kindergarten and girls.

Franz, you'd better come.
He's messing with the basement lock.

Step away from that door.

- Why can't I see what Dad was up to?
- Because we have rules too.

And entering the basement means you
get thrown in the cage. That's final.

Gabriel...
Hey, Gabriel?

- There's... there's a chicken...
- Well, it's hard to keep them out.

But it had... cow hooves.

Maybe so. But they have just as
much right to live here as we do.

It's a flat out ridiculous rule.
Step away from the door situation.

- Elias, come in here for a second.
- No, I don't want to.

- Come on.
- No.

Take a look at this.

There are more here with similar
deformities. What the hell is going on?

This is impossible.

Mutations such as these would be fatal
for individuals with the mutant gene.

They ought to die out in contact with
the normal population, but these don't.

- Here they are dominant.
- So? They're harmless, unlike the bull.

Look at it mocking us.

- It's a nasty animal.
- Dad must have altered their genome.

- He broke the species barrier, somehow.
- Enough with the idolising of Dad.

A chicken with a tail, big deal!
We're discussing that bull.

I have to get into
that basement.

Don't, Gabriel.
You'll end up in the cage.

- I'll take the animals outside.
- No, don't worry about the animals.

But...

If I helped you
get some girls...

...would you help me get
the key for the basement?

How many girls will you get?

Well, isn't one enough?

Yes.
One is great.

Abraham's undiagnosed schizophrenia
makes the voices in his head worsen.

As he still hasn't sought psychiatric
help nor started on antipsychotics

the hallucinatory voices order him
to climb a mountain in Moriah-land

slaughter his own son, Isaac,
and subsequently burn him.

- Where are you going, Gregor?
- I need to go to the bathroom.

- Let's have someone else continue.
- Raise your hand, Gabriel!

- Josef has the floor now. Go on, Josef.
- Won't you take it from here, Franz.

No. I haven't got past the bit where
they go to Canaan and have a child.

Where all those camels keep
needing water? It's really silly.

- Let Josef go on. This is nice.
- Thank you, Elias.

After having abducted Isaac to the
mountain, placed him on the pyre

and threatened him with a blade,
the voices tell him not to kill his son.

The thin air causes neurotransmitters
such as dopamine and serotonin

to alter the hallucinations...

- Just tell the story like it is!
- Again without raising your hand!

- Ridiculous!
- What do you mean, Gabriel?

- Tell the plot without interpreting it.
- I haven't even begun interpreting.

You wanted to read the stupid book.
Let Josef do it his own way.

- Go ahead, Josef.
- The rest is a mess. Unstructured.

Abraham suddenly slits the throat
of a racially unspecified ram

that appears and gets stuck in a in
an otherwise unestablished bush.

Isaac is off the hook, and Abraham
ultimately lights the goat on fire.

- Hardly impressive. In chapter 23...
- No, let's pause here and talk...

- Again with the interrupting!
- You're such a spoilsport, Gabriel.

Maybe we could discuss our
own takes on these stories.

Why don't I just
continue my summary?

- No.
- I don't like this book so far.

Even less do I like how Abraham
and Sara have Isaac. It's unrealistic.

If you can't have children,
it's nature pulling the plug.

- Exactly, the entire book is silly.
- Good, Franz.

It is a miracle that they have Isaac.
That's the power of God in this story.

It's stupid, splashing
miracles around like that.

It's insane for God to play omnipotent,
making parents out of 100-year-olds.

Okay, let's drop that subject.
But tell me...

Is Abraham right in
sacrificing his own son?

Would you sacrifice your own
child for a higher cause? Franz?

- I did shed a tear when the goat died.
- Me too. The goat bit is touching.

- Is the goat bit important?
- Not really to this part of the story.

Josef, think.
What does this story tell you?

What's important is that you think
independently and that you reflect.

Well...
In that case...

- I'm inclined to focus on the goat.
- I love that goat.

- The goat is fantastic.
- Why don't we have a goat, Franz?

Gabriel.

Can I come too?

- Don't don't touch anything.
- Of course not.

He sure liked animals.

What does "M.O. " stand for?

The mothers of the hybrids, I think.
Mother Of, M.O.

Can't we go back up...?
Gabriel.

- How many hybrids did he create?
- I don't know. I think they died.

He only succeeded
with the chickens.

The females ought to have expelled
the fetuses. How did he manage that?

- This is a sensation.
- Oh, gimme a break.

So now he's double smart just because
he made some funny animals?

They were stillborn, Gabriel.
That's really poor work.

But he succeeded
with the chickens.

He did manage to cross a few species
with oviparous vertebrates

such as chickens.
The rest died. Now, let's...

His results should be published, Gregor.
You shouldn't hide them away.

Exactly how many species did he cross?
Here's a pig with a chicken.

- A bull with a turkey.
- I don't know. Let's go back up now.

You've seen everything now,
and we're going back up. Gabriel...

- This bookcase is hiding something.
- I'd really like to go back up now.

I've kept my end of the deal.
Now it's your turn to find those girls.

- It was badly manufactured.
- Oh, no!

Wait up!

What the hell are you doing?
Huh?

Don't tell me he's been
snooping in the basement.

Yes. They broke down
the door, see?

Elias...

That'll teach you to obey the rules!
Let's throw them in the cage.

Josef, open the cage.

Josef, let us out.

Josef!
Let us out!

You idiot!

If you shout, they'll only keep us
here longer. You have to cool down.

I don't believe it!

- Where are we going to find the girls?
- We're not finding any damn girls.

- You promised...
- There are no girls, get it?

- Girls don't want guys like you.
- What do you mean?

Well, have you ever looked at
yourself in the mirror, Gregor?

No.

Ouch!
Let go!

They haven't cooled down at all.
Let's play singles, then.

Let go!
Elias!

Cool down and you'll get out sooner.
Then we can play doubles.

- Open the cage right now.
- You made the rules, Gabriel.

Sit down and await the
cage situation peacefully.

No!

Gabriel, what are you doing? Wait.
Where are you going? Stay here.

- Stay away! I've had it.
- We're not angry. Just go back in...

Get lost!

- You hit me?
- Go away. I'm going home.

- Okay. Let me say goodbye to them.
- I don't want you along!

I don't want you, you fool.

- What are you saying?
- I don't like you, Elias.

You've ruined my life.

All my friends, all my girlfriends.
You've driven them all away.

- I haven't.
- You have.

And you're gross,
ugly and disgusting.

Utterly impossible
to be around!

Elias, stay here.
You belong here.

No, I belong with you.
You promised me when we were kids.

You're stupid!
You're ugly!

Do you hear me, Gabriel?

Gabriel...

Right, Josef. Gregor gets the dog,
and Elias gets the chicken.

- He promised there would be girls.
- But there won't be, Gregor.

It's your own fault.

Well, you're not getting
your old job back now.

Elias? Will you go with me to the
kindergarten meeting tomorrow?

- It would really be a great help.
- He can't. He's just like us.

Sure I can.

- We need Gabriel.
- Let's stop talking about Gabriel.

Elias, will you come?

- Yes.
- Thank you.

- Can you get girls, too?
- Of course he can't.

Sure I can, if I want to.

Can you get some tomorrow?

I guess so.
But that would be stupid.

- Why?
- It's just really stupid.

That only leaves them one day to...
You know?

They have to... let's do it.
We'll do it tomorrow then.

Let's get some
girls tomorrow, then.

And then we'll go
to the kindergarten meeting.

- Hi. - Can I stay until
the ferry leaves?

Sure.
I'm baking crullers.

Wonderful.

I'm so glad

that we finally have the chance
to establish a dialogue.

Honestly, I've never seen anything like
that in the history of the Wild Duck.

I highly advise you to put
Franz in psychiatric care.

Thanks, but we don't spend money
on psychologists in our family.

And we still have the unresolved
matter of the wrongful dismissal.

I don't understand.
Franz beat Carl with that stuffed fox.

We're on the same page,
but it's time to move on.

It's irresponsible to have a fox like
that lying about. Why do you have it?

- You sounded different on the phone.
- No, I didn't.

Who's to say they
weren't just playing.

Carl got seven stitches under his
eye for refusing to taste a cheese.

From where I'm sitting, it sounds
like they're equally to blame.

Carl is four years old.
Please leave.

- All the children are terrified of him.
- 'All the children'. There are two!

You make it sound like all
of Mexico City is in a panic.

Some kids are afraid of buttons.
Still we can't all wear ponchos, can we?

Carl and Franz had
a minor conflict,

but an integrated institution like
the Wild Duck must deal with that.

Try to live up to your name!
And remember:

To the deaf those who dance are mad.
You're forgetting that, Susan! Huh?

Let's let common
sense prevail.

Franz will be here tomorrow morning
at eight. End of discussion.

I thought you
came to apologise.

Where's the man I
spoke to on the phone?

He's sitting right here.
Pay attention!

- You should leave. Now!
- That's settled then.

This is for you.

What's that?

Think hard, and I'm sure you'll
guess the last two digits.

Think centimeters. Call me,
and I'll cook us up a nice meal.

It's my phone number
without the last two digits.

- What is this all about?
- Come on!

The last two digits are 21.
35875621.

My old number ended with 02,
which spoiled the joke.

But 21 makes you think of a large...
Forget it. You're not listening.

- Get out, or I'll call for help.
- She interrupted you. Did you feel it?

I felt it.
It's out of my hands now.

What's going on?
What are you going to do?

- When can Franz start again?
- First they have to list the job.

But Franz, when you get your job back,
you'd better stay away from the fox.

- Just to begin with.
- Yes. Thank you, Elias.

Nobody's ever done
that for me before.

- Of course. Family comes first.
- A thing Gabriel never understood.

Let's go find some chicks,
shall we?

- What if no one wants to be with us?
- Yeah, right.

That would be the first time in
world history I didn't get lucky.

This place really smells of pee.

- Quite a fine selection.
- Not really. There's only one girl.

- Well, considering the population...
- There's another one! There are two.

- Dibs on the jigsaw lady.
- No, she's mine.

- No, you get the knitter. She's hot.
- Why do you get to choose first?

- It's not fair, Elias.
- Are you here to visit someone?

It's safe to say we are, yes.
We're volunteers with the...

- Franz, the cheese.
- We need to slice it first.

You're the one who's
always out running?

I take breaks too. I struggle with the
fact that I'm anatomically challenged.

- I also struggle with obesity.
- I'm thin-fat.

Shame on you for mocking
anatomically challenged people.

We do have sports facilities here,
if you'd like to see them.

- I would.
- Come.

Have you got a sauna, too?

Josef! Don't you want
any cheese then?

He can have that fat pig,
if he wants.

Jailbait like her shouldn't
be here anyway.

Hey! I get the jigsaw lady,
and you get the knitter. Where is she?

- She was head over heels for Gregor.
- Well, I called dibs on her.

- Her name is Inger Lis.
- Inger Lis, come here.

- Inger Lis wants to go with me.
- Oh, no. Inger Lis, I've got cheese.

Stop it, Elias. She's lactose intolerant.
Allergic to milk. Now scam!

I'd rather go with Franz.

Okay, we'll get back to you.
Goodbye.

We just say the word, and the hospital
will send over the van tomorrow.

We have no choice
this time, Flemming.

If we have them removed,
they'll take us off the map.

Are we even sure that
cousin Susan didn't just trip?

I've seen her trip over herself
and the kids in that place before.

She's got a concussion and lost
a tooth, for Christ's sake!

This time they crossed a line.

Without Gabriel, they're an
accident waiting to happen.

I agree with Ingrid. They belong
in a hospital. All four of them.

It's all your fault. Evelio was resting
in peace in his room, until you came.

Shut up, Dad!

Haven't those boys been
caged long enough?

You can't just
abandon your family.

And weren't you looking for your mother?
What kind of a person are you?

Shut up, Flemming.
You ran this island into the ground.

For once in your life you can
make the right decision. So do it!

Aren't you coming in?

Thank you for what
you did today.

I'm glad you're here.

Okay.

Elias?

Elias?

You have time
to reconsider, Gabriel.

Haven't you got a heart, man?
They're your own family.

Just stop, for Christ's sake.
Let's go. The ferry will leave soon.

Come on, Gabriel.
Come on.

I told you.
It's returned.

Ellen, look at it!

- What strange feet.
- Yes, it's come home.

- That stork had human feet.
- I'm not sure that's right.

- Let's go, Gabriel.
- And it had a harelip.

Let's just get out of here.
The ferry's leaving soon.

I'm sorry, Ellen.

We're calling off the operation.
The local authorities are taking over.

- Flemming, you can't be serious.
- Sure. Gabriel just came back.

- For crying out loud...
- Rein in your people and go.

Where are you going, Gabriel?

Oh, no, you don't.
Gabriel, no! Gabriel!

No!
Don't go down there!

Gabriel, no!

Come on out, Elias.
It's damned filthy in there.

Damn.
He's ruined everything.

What's in there?

- What's that?
- Our mothers.

- Why are they in there?
- Our father was a very sick man.

Dad did that?

Why?

Dad was born sterile.
Like we all are.

But he found a solution.
He inseminated our mothers

with variants of modified animal
semen mixed with his own stem cells.

But it didn't work, did it?
Only with the chickens.

No. Not to begin with. He inseminated
his first wife all of 14 times.

In October, 1966
the experiment succeeds.

He creates his first child.
A son.

With semen from
the bull Isak II.

Three years later,
he repeats the experiment.

This time with an owl.

Yet another boy is born.

Then he...

writes in his notes in 1969...

that his first two children
don't live up to his demands.

So he gives them up.

He gives up his "man-owl"...

and his "man-bull" for adoption.

And instead he tries
to create a "micken".

So Elias is half bull?

He just said he's a man-bull.
Keep up.

Elias is 11.4% bull...

and 88.6% Dad and... her.

Which means...

that he's the half-brother of Isak,
the bull up in the stables.

- Well, he isn't there any longer.
- Then what am I?

You're 9.5% mouse, Josef.

- I'm mouse?
- Yes. And you're dog, Gregor.

Labrador.
10% flat.

- I'm dog?
- You knew about it?

Why didn't you tell me? I'd have
liked to have known I was dog.

What are you, Franz?

- Franz is chicken.
- I'm 15% chicken.

- I'm a micken! Man chicken.
- 15% is a lot compared to my 9.5.

Yes. Dad tried to increase the animal
share, and he succeeded with me.

- Mouse is much better than chicken.
- No way. These rules are different.

- Dog is best.
- It's a whole other system, Gregor!

You're only 10%, which makes me
much more chicken than you are dog.

- Dog beats everything, Franz.
- Shut up!

Let's let Gabriel decide.
Let's hear what he is.

He's owl, folks!

- I'm 7.1% owl.
- Owl is by far the worst of the lot.

So maybe being chicken
isn't that bad, after all.

How did they die? Why couldn't
they just give birth to us?

I'm sure they could have, but Dad
didn't like complicated surgery,

so he always performed
fatal cesareans.

- Gee, that must have hurt.
- Like Dad always said:

A life for a life.

So we can't have children?
Ever?

We're a cross between two species.
Hybrids are almost always sterile.

But if Dad could,
why can't we?

Why are you sitting
in there, Elias?

Come out.

- I'm sorry.
- Don't worry about that now.

You owe me an apology, too.
You said some harsh words.

- Yes.
- You sure did.

And it wasn't true. A lot of what
you said about me wasn't true.

Okay.

I don't know...

I may have screwed up with
those chickens. And with Isak.

It's that dream
I've always had...

Okay, now I'll throw something out there,
and I don't want you to contradict me.

I'm not...

I'm not all together normal,
Gabriel.

I'm not.

None of us really are.

Come on out, Elias.

Can I hug you then?

I haven't had a chance to
wash my hands. But can I?

And thus it came to
pass that the brothers,

chose to live together.

And thanks to Evelio's basement,
they learned that

every life is a miracle.

Every creature, beautiful and ugly,
fat and thin, good and evil,

young and old,
animal and human,

and everything in-between
created by whoever, wherever.

Although the old townspeople
still feared the brothers,

and everything everyone knew
went on in the basement,

they still respected the fact,

that sometimes
it had to be so.

For the very simple reason
that life is life,

and the alternative is
never to be preferred.