Lovers in A Dangerous Time (2021) - full transcript

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

Hey.

Hey, where's your mask?

Oh...um...

I'm just shitting you, kid.
Sit down.

Okay.

Actually, I'm surprised
you're open

with all this stuff
going on.

They didn't
shut you down?



No, I've been open
for about a week.

Okay.
Slow, though.

Ain't seen you
in here before.

Usually it's just the regulars
come in this dump.

Well, I'm back in town.

Uh-huh.
Business or pleasure?

Pleasure, I guess,
I'm hoping.

I'm here to see
an old friend.

Or two. We'll see.

Uh-huh. Okay.
What can I get you, kid?

Oh, shit.

Dork.

All right, Mom.
Gonna sanitize real good.

Get it, get it,
get it, get it.



Get underneath those nails.

Hey, darling.

Hi, hon.

How are you doing?

I'm okay. Aunt Carmen sends
her love again.

Yeah. Well, she sends her love
all the time,

so getting
a little stocked up here.

I know, but I told you
how she is.

I think she just really wanted
to meet you before the wedding.

Well, we did push it off
another year and a half,

so I'm sure we can make
that happen at some point.

Why don't you --
I don't know --

put in a good word for me?
Yeah?

I really think we should plan
a time in the next few months

when you're not working
to come back here.

I mean, don't get me wrong.
Getting stuck here

when quarantine broke
for the last two months,

it's not gonna make me
want to come back any time soon,

but we should plan something.

Well, that was your choice,
Carly, so...

Better safe than sorry.

Well... you could have --

could rented a car.

I know. I just

With Mom's health, it's --
it's been good that I'm here,

but now I'm missing you.

Right.

Anyway, I'm just
calling to remind you

I'm gonna be in
tomorrow morning at 11:05.

Yeah, 11:05. I'll be there,
bright and early.

Can't wait 'cause, uh,
we've got a lot to talk about.

Babe, I really wish we didn't
have to cancel the wedding.

I was really looking forward
to getting married next month.

Yeah. Yeah.
I know what you mean.

It'll happen, though,
and, you know, when it does,

we'll just look back
and kind of forget

this whole thing
stopped us. Okay?

I know. I love you.

Yeah, I love you, too.

Bye.

Bye.

Great.

Hey, I was going to call you.

I thought we were gonna talk
last night.

I was waiting.

Yeah. Um, sorry about that.

I'm so sick of Bel-Air.

Oh, I want to come over
tonight, Reid.

No, no, no. That --
That can't happen.

Why?

W-Well...

Carly, my fiancée.

Remember her?

Well, she's coming back
tomorrow.

So I really know
how this must sound, but...

You know what?
No, screw that.

I don't know how it sounds,
and I'm sorry.

I just...

I mean, we kind of knew
what this was.

We -- We --
We got to end it now.

So...yeah.

How long
have you known this?

Uh, I mean, I-I --

Known what?
What are you talking about?

That your fiancée
was coming back.

Oh, oh. I mean, I...

I always knew she was coming
back, so I'm not really sure...

I meant how long have you known
she was coming back tomorrow?

Um...well, she bought
a plane ticket,

and -- and it was about,
like, a week ago,

a week and a half.

So about
a week and a half.

I mean, you know, things
are --

Things
are opening back up here.

We're in
phase 5-7-Alpha-Q-Delta.

I don't know. I don't what
we're naming them anymore.

Maybe it's
phase fire tornado.

I don't know, but we're opening
back up, so, you know...

So
basically last week then.

I've been over there
twice since then.

You could have told me.

Yeah. I know.
Okay. Look, I'm sorry.

I-I should have told you,
but I didn't. Now it's done.

She's coming back, and...

yeah, I mean,
we knew what this was.

We agreed to it, so...

Did we?

Yeah, we did.

Sage?

Sage, are you there?

I want to see you tonight.

That can't happen.

"Can't" isn't
the correct word.

It most certainly
can happen,

although
you may not want it to.

Sage, what the --
What the hell?

No, I'm so sorry, Reid.

So sorry to be so direct
and forthcoming,

but I kind of
have this plan.

Plan?

I'm afraid so.

I really don't mean to get
all "Fatal Attraction"

on you here, but...

Well, I guess it's kind of
what this is.

You know how strongly
I feel about you.

Furthermore, you know
how I feel about my husband.

He and I...

are dead.

Yeah. Yeah.

You mentioned that,
but you know what?

It's weird.

Maybe it's tone or
the phone or I don't know,

but it sounds like
you're planning

some kind of
a crazy little getaway,

us running away together.

Well, that's
the jackpot answer, honey.

Okay.

Um...

we can't.

Reid, I don't want to beat
around the bush anymore.

I've been doing that
this whole time.

The bush is trimmed.
Look through it.

I want this to be more
than a quarantine love affair.

Uhhhh...Sage.

I'll see you later, honey.

Uh, mm...

Okay. She hung up.
Okay.

What serious fuck
is wrong with you?!

Mm.

Yo, what up, Mr. Reid?

Mr. Deed, Mr. Steed,
Beed, Bee.

Hey, Harriet!

Oh, my God,
I'm glad you picked up.

Um, what's new?

Well, you know,
it's still quarantine,

so as always, nothing.

Any word on whether or not

they're gonna let us back
into the office

any time soon or...

You know, I just don't know.

Was it phase 2
or 5 or 29?

No, no, no, no.
No news here.

No, just -- just, you know,
wheeling and dealing.

Just having
a good -- good old time.

Oh, great.

So what can I do for you,
Mr. Deed,

Mr. Steed,
Mr. Bleedy-Bleed?

Well, well, well.

Harriet, Harriet,
Harriet, Harriet,

do you...

Do remember that -- that client
up in Sacramento?

Um, yeah.
Old Sacramento?

What was his name?
Mason something?

Mason Delaware.
Rich dude, right?

Like, a billionaire?

That's the one!

Yes, you do remember.
Good old Harriet.

You remember these things.
That's good. That's good.

Yeah, what about him?

Well, well, well,
do you --

You don't remember
we were dealing with those --

trying to sell off
the profit shares,

and -- and he had his wife
who came to join us?

Mm, I don't really remember
'cause I think

that, like, was more your part
of the deal, but...

Yeah. Yeah.
That was me handling that point.

Thank you for remembering that
so vividly.

I mean,
is there a problem?

We sold them on the deal,
yeah?

Oh, I sealed the deal.

Yeah, I definitely
sealed it pretty tight.

So no, nothing on that.

No, nothing going on there.

Well, you're just gonna have
to give me

a little bit more information
or a clearer picture

of what you're trying to say
there, pal.

'Cause I'm a little lost.

Reid?

Hey, look, look, look.

I-I know that, you know,

lockdown's been tough
and everything,

but, hey, just remember --
Your beautiful,

amazing fiancée's
coming back tomorrow.

So there's that.

Yeah. I'm remembering that
pretty clearly right now,

that my beautiful fiancée's
coming back.

Thank you for that,
Harriet.

Appreciate that.
Mm-hmm.

Hang in there Mr. Reid.

My bleedy-bleedy boo-bah.

You're gonna make it, okay?

Oh.

Reid?

Rude!

Everybody's losing their mind.

Mmm.

Carly!

Girl, what's up?!

Hey. How are you?

Oh, doing good,
doing good, you know.

Hey, speak of the devil...

Mm, I'm not sure
that's the right term,

but I just spoke

with your handsome,
man-some little fiancé,

and I'm pretty sure
he's losing his mind.

Really?

I don't know.
It was weird.

It was like, he called
to ask about a client,

but then it seemed like he maybe
forgot about it or something,

but just a heads-up
if you come home

and he's gone mad, so...

Okay.
Thanks for the warning.

So, what's up, my
Carly-Barly-Schwarly-Farly?

You're doing good
out there?

I miss you guys,
and in all honesty,

Reid really
does miss you, too.

So I'm glad
you're coming home.

I'm ready to come back.

And I was thinking the three
of us should get together,

and -- I don't know --

we can sit 6 feet apart
if it makes you feel better.

Oh, yeah, girl.
Totally.

You know I'm all good
about that stuff.

It'd be great to see you.

I-I've, like,
not seen a real person.

Well, I have,
but not hung out.

You know what I mean.
With a real person

in a couple months now,
so it's getting bad.

And feel free
to bring Shane.

Yeah...

About that. Um...

Shane and I kind of
aren't Shane and I anymore.

What?

It's a short story
that isn't very interesting.

And you know what?

I can waste five minutes
of your life

when I see you
in person with it.

So how about that?

Sounds good.

What?

I don't know. It's...

Ever since we've known you,

you go through this same routine
with every guy you date.

Are we really getting into this
right now?

Where do you got to be?

Fair enough.

Listen, I don't know
who this Mr. Right was,

and since you refuse
to talk about him,

lower your expectations.
Just...

Wow.
Thanks for that.

You know what I mean.

I get it, girl.

You know what?
I promise --

I will do my very best
to lower all expectations.

You are a terrible liar,
girl.

I love you.

Love you, too, girl.

And miss you guys.

See you real soon, okay?

My Carly-Schwarly.

Schwarly-Barly, you
stay safe out there.

Bye.

Oh, what's wrong with you, man?!

What did you do?
What did you do?

Why? Why?
Why would you do that?

What was the point of that?
I'd like to just...

Oh, you know what?
That wouldn't kill me.

That would only hurt a lot,

and I just don't have that kind
of medical insurance

going on right now,
with everything in lockdown.

So I could just...

That's great.
That's good. Yeah.

Perfect.
Why wouldn't it be perfect?

That's exactly perfect.
That's...

She would send a perfect message

because she cherry-picks
her perfection.

She takes it from words.
She looks in a thesaurus.

She double-checks everything,

and she brings on the thunder.

That's what she does.

Great!
So great.

And who am I?

I'm the schmuck that cheated
on her,

that stepped out on her.

I'm that schmuck.
I'm that guy.

All her friends
are gonna be talking about me.

They're gonna be
making up stories.

They're gonna be saying,
"Hey, remember that schmuck

you were with for a while?
He was a real schmuck."

Mm! Mm!

What is wrong with you?!

What is wrong with you?

Are you stupid?!

Are you a fucking moron?!

Of course you are
'cause you did

all the moronic things
that morons do.

You fucking idiot.

Sage, yeah,
super-hot, crazy hot.

There's hot bitches everywhere
in the world.

Why would you do it with her?
Why would you pick her?

Why would you go that route?

The sex was good.
The sex was good.

I understand that.
You need a little lovin'.

You got to -- Alone.

I get it, I get it,
but Sage! Sage!

And now Carly's coming back.

Oh, that's fantastic.

Gonna be great
when she finds out about that.

Look at you,
you dumb fucking idiot.

And you know what?
You deserve this.

This is all your fucking fault.

You did this to yourself.

You got no one to blame, Reid.

Nobody at all!

Nobody! Nothing!

Nothing, nothing,
nothing, nothing!

So you know what?
Suck it up, son,

'cause
this is the end for you, pal.

It's the end of the road.

It's the end
of the long, stupid road,

and you're not
getting back the road.

You're gonna be nothing!

And you're gonna be

Okay? Get it? Got it?

Great. Good, good.

I'm gonna be over there.

Okay.

Schmuck.

Yes?

Buddy, how's it going?

Lincoln?

That'd be me, old pal.

Jesus, Lincoln.

It's been, like,
what, two years?

Well, it's been three,
actually.

Thanks for counting.

Sorry about that.
Yeah.

I know.
I haven't been in town.

I've been on the run.
You know me, business as usual.

Uh-huh.
Yeah, I sincerely doubt that.

Any jobs?

Well, there was this gig
up in Boise

that kept me busy
the better part of last year.

All their infomercials
went through me.

Oh, all the infomercials.

How many of the "all the
infomercials" were there?

Eight.

Eight? Eight. That's good.
Eight infomercials. Nice.

All right.

So things have been slow,
okay?

I'm not Fellini yet.
I get it.

You know what, buddy?
I really hate to rush off here.

I can't really chat.

I'm kind of in the middle
of something.

Yeah, well, how long is that
something gonna take to resolve?

I don't know.
The rest of my life.

Something like that.
Simple thing.

Yeah, I-I hear that.

Mm-hmm-hmm-hmm.

Uh, where --
where are you anyway?

At this place
called Kelsey's Pub.

it's a bar here in town.

You know, Kelsey's Pub
is closed 'cause of pandemic.

Pandemic kind of closed
everything down,

kind of shut it all down.

Pandemic?
What are you talking about?

Yeah, yeah, pandemic.
Things -- Thing going on.

I don't know if you know
about it. It's a virus.

Oh, the thing
with the masks.

Right, right, right.

Well, I don't think they
so much care about that here.

I mean, I am the only one
in here right now,

but they are
very much open.

I think they're doing
some sort of, like,

Prohibition bootleg-style
opening kind of thing.

I'm here. I'm in town.

I want to see you.
I want to come over. Come on.

Perfect!
Hey, but you know what?

Better idea -- Don't.
Because I don't think

that Carly's gonna
like you coming over.

I think that --

I don't know what she would
think of it, you know.

Well, according to Carly's
last Facebook post,

she's still quarantined
in Dallas.

So she won't be thinking
anything, now, will she?

Right, right.
So let me come over. Come on.

I forgot that you like to stalk
people on Facebook. That's nice.

That's good. That's good.
Good to remember that.

No, she's in Dallas
with family.

No, actually, the thing
I'm in the middle of

is something
entirely different.

So just not the best time to
play catch-up with an old buddy.

Okay, look, look,
you're upset.

I get it.
It's my bad.

I haven't been around.
You're mad. I understand.

I'll tell you what, man.

Why don't I just
call you back later? Okay?

I assume that you're staying
awhile, right?

Mm, you're not gonna call me.
We both know that.

But yes, I'm in town.

Okay. Well, why don't you
just keep on hanging?

And, you know,
I'll just hit you back.

I'll hit you up, okay?
All right.

All right.

It's good chatting with you.

I'll hang you.

All right. See you
in the three years.

Okay, bye.

Same?

Please.

You know, I don't mean to pry,
but I couldn't help

but overhear
you're a director of sorts?

A director of sorts.

That's a great way
to put it.

You're talking to the world's
okayest infomercial director.

Mm.

Basic public access stuff.

Nothing you would have seen
around these parts.

Mm. Must've been a rough couple
of months for you, huh?

I mean,
what with the lockdown and all.

Rough couple months.

Yeah. Right.

Worse, huh?

Well, I mean,
if you want to get into it,

you are a bartender,
I am a patron.

We could do the cliché...

Lay it on me.

It was a woman.

Yeah, it usually is.

Yeah.
I had a woman once.

We had a daughter together.

Ain't seen her
in a long time, though.

Well...

What happened?

In my case, I guess you
could say it was two women.

Mm-hmm.

This girl and I were together.

We dated, never really got
too serious,

but we were
a real good match, you know?

I mean, it was nice,

and then someone else
came along.

But, I mean, it wasn't an affair
or anything like that.

I mean,
we were never serious, you know?

Yeah. With the first girl?

Right. First girl --
not serious.

Girl number two
comes along.

Uh-huh.
I go off with her.

She ends up leaving me.

Serves me right.

So you chose
door number two,

but what you really wanted
was behind door number one.

Correct. Yeah.

And now here I am,
back where it all went down,

attempting to salvage
the one friendship

I've somewhat maintained
over the years,

but that's gonna have
to be put on hold

because, well,
he's busy with something.

Mm. I hear you.

Tell you what.
Next one's on the house.

Thanks.

♪ No, you haven't yet ♪

Who is it?

Nope. False alarm.

Ah!

I see you've dolled yourself
up for our evening together.

Sage.
How'd you get in?

Through your back door,
stupid.

Ah, yeah.

I've been knocking
for 10 minutes.

Oh,

Called you.

10 minutes, that's -- That's
terrible.

Yeah.

Pobrecito.

I really am sorry
about that.

I, uh...
I was -- I was -- I was...

"I was -- I was -- I was..."
Uh-huh.

Yeah, thanks
for the warm welcome.

You know,
it would have been warmer,

but I didn't want you
to come.

So there's that, yes, yes.

By the way that you look
and smell,

I don't think you're in
any coherent state

to decide on anything.

Okay.

Yes, I am drunk
because I've been drinking,

because of our little phone
chat a little earlier today.

That was a nice one,
put me in a real, uh, pickle.

Like a pickle. Like a Vlasic.

Like, you know, the
Vlasic guy.

Uh-huh.

-You know, like a stork.
-Yeah, I got it.

I think he's a stork. I don't
know if he's a duck, a stork.

-I think he delivers things.
-I don't know.

-Has a mailman's hat.
-I don't really care.

-I don't know either.
-Moving on.

It's kind of disturbing me

that I can't remember
exactly

what type of animal he is.

Point is, I can't understand
exactly why it is

you would want to have
more than a fuck buddy,

you know,
situation with us?

Because that was actually
just fine,

and, instead,
you decided to go full-on, um...

What was the term
you used before?

Oh, it's my favorite movie.

-Oh, "Fatal Attraction."
-Yeah.

-That's right.
-I love that movie.

You had to go "Fatal Attraction"
syndrome on me.

And that was
really delightful.

Really cute and adorable
and all those things.

But um, you know, I mean,

you took pictures of me
while I was sleeping.

-I did, I did.
-Why?

Oh, I don't know.
Because you're beautiful, Reid.

Oh, okay.

Ah. Okay, well...

that's nice.

Oh, come on now, Reid.
Stop. Stop drinking.

Look, Sage, I get it.

You don't love
your husband anymore.

Or maybe you never did.
I don't know.

Wow. Okay.

Yeah.

I'm really sorry about that,
okay?

But I actually still care
for Carly.

Mm-hmm.

Still do. And she really
doesn't deserve this at all.

So I...

Wow.
I think that we should just go

with what
we originally planned,

which was that when Carly
was gonna come back,

we would be done.
Okay?

So we're done.
Ah.

We're really not.

Ha. What?

Okay. Okay.

Pictures all in the bag there?
Is that what you're gonna do?

You're gonna show them
to Carly? Is that your plan?

Well, I think it'd be better
if you did.

Oh, I'm not gonna do that.

Oh, come on.

Come on, Reid.

Oh, we could be great together.
We could.

We could have
one of those loves

that they sing about
in those love songs.

I don't know any love songs
that are...

-Oh, yes, you do.
-amidst a pandemic,

and an affair
and all that.

I just don't think I know
any of those songs.

Well, you need to expand
your musical library.

Oh, my musical library
is just fine.

Thank you very much.
It went to Harvard.

Not when I last checked
your iTunes.

Oh, wow. You didn't check the
hidden playlist that I've got.

Did you just say "Harvard"?

Well, the music went to Harvard.
I didn't go to Harvard.

What the hell
are you talking about?

My music went to Harvard.

I don't know why --
how it's not clear for you.

Mm-hmm.
But, anyway,
it doesn't matter

because, Sage, Sage,
we just...

You know what?
I have an idea.

Get out. Get out of my house.
Okay?

-We're just gonna...
-If you force me to leave now...

-Yeah?
-do you think that'll solve

this apparent
world-record...

pickle that you're in?

Mm-hmm.

Do you have any more
of that 30-year scotch?

Okay.

Sage.

Maybe we should come to
some kind of agreement.

-Okay?
-Mm-hmm.

Let's see.

-Your terms are...
-Mm-hmm.

...that I leave and vanish
from your life completely.

-Yeah. Good so far.
-Mm-hmm.

My terms are that you and I
leave right now

and start a brand-new
happy and exciting life.

I see no middle of the road
on this map.

That's because you need
to recalculate your GPS.

-Oh, come on, Reid.
-It's a little off.

Does nothing about us
sound even the teensiest bit...

appealing?

-Not really, no.
-You hesitated.

-No, I didn't.
-You did.

-No, I didn't.
-You did.

-No, I didn't.
-Did.

-Didn't.
-Did.

-Didn't.
-Did.

-Didn't, did, did, did, did.
-Did, did, did, did, did.

-Did, did, did.
-Did, did, did, didn't.

-Got you.
-Okay.

Let's just -- Let's just stop.

-Mm...
-Let's just stop. Okay?

-No.
-Have you eaten?

Do you want to -- Do you
want to order something?

Yeah. I'm not that hungry.
I drank a lot.

Oh, and maybe if I have
enough to drink...

I'll let you...

That was
a fun night. Wasn't it?

Yes, it was.

How about Chinese?

Oh, sushi.

Yeah. Oh, come on, Reid.
Come on.

You know you want
some sushi.

How about
Jackal's Palace?

Oh, yeah.
That's a good idea.

Don't you have
that ordering app?

Let me go get your phone.
Where is it?

Don't worry, Reid.
Stop worrying.

I'll just take care of you.

Everything will be fine.

Ugh!

Oh, Reid.

What the fuck?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

One. Two...

Okay. That's better.
That's better.

That's worse. Okay.

All right. Um...

Okay. All right.

Okay. No more stairs.

Good. Good.

Okay.

Next house gonna be
a single story.

Okay. Okay.

All right, Reid.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Yeah, it is.

Okay. Too familiar.
Okay.

Here. All right.

Let's get the things
with the...

That's solid.
Okay.

So there.
And then we'll...

There we go.

Okay.

There we go.

Okay. Okay.

Here we go.
How do they do it in the movies?

It's like -- Nope.

You'll have a bruise.

Wait. Good.

Okay. And...

♪ Lullaby ♪

♪ And good night ♪

Solid. Yeah. Good.

Good. You're comfortable?

Okay, all right.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Come on, come on, come on.

What's up, chicken butt?

Yeah! Yeah!

It's so good to see.
It's so good.

Um, you know, I'm just --

Are you okay?

Ah, yeah. Yeah.

I'm super-fine.
I'm super-great.

In fact, I'm just --

Not fine.
Actually not fine at all.

What is it, Reid?

I need your help. Okay?
Simple as that, really.

But I need you to listen. Okay?
'Cause I have things to say.

Where do I begin? Uh, fuck,
I cheated on Carly.

So there's that.
Um...

Yeah.

Who?
What the hell?

Yeah.
Are you...

You're serious.
Who?

I tried to tell you
earlier actually.

The Sacramento client?

That's the one.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

That's her?
The rich man's wife?

Boom!
Yeah, you got it.

Wow.

You are sleeping
with the rich man's wife.

-What the hell, dude?!
-Yeah.

So it -- it all started
after we finalized the deal

with the big bosses up north,

and they all took us out
to dinner

because, you know,
that's what they do.

The wife joined us, you know,
'cause she was bored.

So she came down,
and we were all having dinner.

I had a lobster, by the way.
Really delicious.

I think they flew it in
from Alaska.

But, anyway,
so we were having dinner,

and the bosses wanted to --
They wanted to go barhopping.

But, you know, --
So I said, "No."

And you know what?
The wife did, too.

She didn't want to go out. She
doesn't like barhopping either.

I guess we have that in common.
That's really great.

So she decided to stay, and
the husband gave her his key,

and, well, you know, the
entire time, we were just --

She was kind of giving me
these looks.

Oh, and you looked back?

-Yeah.
-Why'd you look back, man?

You never look back.

There was something
about the way the light

might have hit her eyes,
and -- No, she was hot.

She was hot. That was it.
She was just --

Reid!
Just because a woman's hot

doesn't mean you should
go sleep with her.

I know! Right?
Thank you for that.

Oh, come on.
You know what I mean.

I just need your help on this.
Okay?

So, what, this has been
going on since what?

Like a week before
the virus happened or...

Well, look, I-I...

You know what?
I don't think this is something

I should be getting in the
middle of. Do you understand?

I'm good friends with you,
but I'm also good friends

with Carly
and I don't want to be...

Ever since
we started working together,

-I just--You know, this is just
-You know what's great?

Is, I actually -- I don't need
your help telling Carly.

No!
No, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay. Well, then
what is this about?

I-I...

I did something.

Yeah, I'll say.

No, no, no,
not that something.

No, a different something
entirely.

Okay.

Reid!

Reid, is she in your house
right now?

Uhhhh....

-Kind of.
-Okay.

Let me break this down
for you.

She is either in your house,
or she's not in your house.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Kind of maybe sort of, um,
did something.

Did a thing.
Did a thing.

Yeah.
Reid!

Uh-huh, uh-huh
You know what, though?

Harriet, it's actually gonna
be better if I show you,

so, yeah. Stand by.
Hold the line.

Okay. Okay.

This dude.

All right, Harriet,
just don't panic.

Okay?

What in God's name, Reid?

Reid, what the hell
is the matter with you?

Let me out of this.
I'm not gonna do that.

-You have to let her go.
-I can't.

Let me go!

Let her go!

This is insane.

It's completely insane.

How dare you do this to me?

Have you lost
your freaking mind?

If you think that by doing this,
you're somehow off the hook...

She's bleeding!

Oh. Shit.

I am, Reid.
Okay.

I see that. Just hold on.
I'm gonna help you.

Thank you, Harriet.

Oh, God.
Okay.

Here's the --
Yes.

Thanks.
Just give it to me.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Wow.

Grateful much?

I'm sorry.

Really?

Yeah.

Really?
Yes.

You handcuff me to a bed...
Uh-huh.

...and you're sorry
about the fact that

-you cracked my skull open?!
Okay, okay.

Oh, yeah.
She's got a point.

Well, whose side are you on,
Harriet?

Because it should be mine.
Okay? Friends.

We're friends here.
And you know what?

That is beside the point,
because all this yelling,

everyone's getting
really excited,

and I'm getting
a little confused.

How are you confused
about this, Reid?

I'm confused. I have
every right to be confused

because you FaceTime me
to show me some random woman

you're sleeping with that
you've knocked out, handcuffed

to your bed,
and what's next?

What, has she threatened
to tell Carly?

See, that --
That's the problem, see?

Because we had a nice
little agreement in place

that when Carly would return,
that we'd be done,

and we would end
this whole thing.

Remember that agreement?
That was a good agreement.

Oh, I'm sorry. That agreement
was a very gray area.

I just want
to point that out.

It was not a gray area.

-It was black and white.
-Very gray.

-Black and white.
-Mnh-mnh.

Reid!

Can we talk a minute
in private

in another room?

Excuse me.

Gray area.

Okay.

Yes?

That's all you have to say
for yourself?

Well, you wanted to talk
about something, so here I am.

-What?
-Um...

you're the one who needs to be
doing the talking, dumb-ass.

Harriet, now, calm down.

'Cause I tried to tell you
what was going on.

She's crazy,
off her rocker.

You can see that, right?

You can see that, clearly.

So I need you to help me.

What do I do?

It's very simple, Reid --

Let her go.

I'm not gonna do that.
That's -- No, no.

'Cause if I do that,
then she's gonna go do...

Right, right, right.
I get the predicament.

-And?
-Look, I don't know.

I have to think about this.
Okay?

This is very intense
for me, and -- and...

Okay, here's the thing.

I love you guys.
I love you and Carly.

Clearly I don't want to see
Carly hurt, but this,

this is a serious, heinous
crime, you realize?

I know. I know.
Thank you for that update.

Serious crime. Got it.
Great.

How much have you been
drinking tonight?

I would really, really think
that the current predicament

would actually
exactly tell you

exactly how much I had
to drink tonight, okay?

I mean, why? Were you unhappy
or something?

What do you mean?

The engagement.
Carly.

I mean, something seriously bad
must have happened

for you
to do something like this.

Uh...

Um, well...

...I'm not lying when I say
that the happiest day of my life

was when I asked Carly
to marry me.

Okay?

And I'm pretty sure it was the
happiest day of her life, too.

But since then, it seems as
though she's planning a wedding

that I'm not even a part of.

She's kind of
in her own little world,

and I'm just gonna be
some guy that shows up.

That's very frustrating

because I don't think
either one of us

has been happy
since I proposed.

So I lost myself
in work,

you know, like you do, thinking
maybe, "Oh, just cold feet,

or I'm just nervous
about something."

But it just kept bugging me.

And truth be told,

Carly and I haven't
really been together

since the beginning
of the year.

Like, been together,
you know?

So Sage comes along,
and suddenly

I'm getting some
kind of amazing attention

that I didn't get
even a little bit of,

and I fucked up.

I did.

You could blame it
on the quarantine

or any of that,
but no, no, no.

I just screwed up,
and the thing is,

I'm gonna tell Carly

about what I did,

but she can't find out
this way

because that's not fair
to her.

You know?

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Look, I can't believe I'm gonna
help your sorry ass here,

but I am, but just know
that this is for Carly.

Okay?

I know.

Thank you.

Good.

Thank you very much.

Uh, Harriet, hold on.

No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no!

Ah!

You stupid asshole!

What? What?
Oh, oh, what?

-I'll scream.
-Oh, will you?

The neighbors
will hear.

Go ahead. You've been screaming
the last two and a half months.

They're not gonna care.
They're not gonna call the cops.

They haven't done it yet.
Right? Right?

But do it.
Do it for me.

Come on, come on. One more.
Let me hear you scream.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

That's fine.
That's what I thought.

God damn it. Son of a --
Hello?

How you doing, buddy?
It's me.

You didn't call me back.

Just like I said
you wouldn't.

Get that thing you were in
the middle of taken care of?

Kind of sort of still
in the middle of it.

Thank you.
Thank you for asking, though.

Appreciate that.
I gotcha.

Listen, man.
Can I call you back?

Can I call you back later?

Sounds me like you're in some
sort of trouble, to be honest.

Hey, Reid. Hello?

Who is it?

Look...

No one, no one.
Just hang on.

Who's that? Who is that?

No one. It's no one.
I'm telling you. What?

All right, all right.
I'll let you go.

You just give me a call whenever
you figure out whatever it is

you're trying to figure out
over there.

I just -- I just can't...

Hang on.

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no.

You're not going anywhere
until we have a talk.

Okay?
Screw you! Take these off!

Okay, okay.
Stop it. Stop it.

Shut up
and let me think, okay?

Let me think.

What is there
to think about?

Uh, uh, uh, us...
Okay.

...actually.

All right.
Yeah.

Let's talk about us.

Okay, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

Why don't
you kick us off then?

Let's do that.
You kick us off.

Why did you start banging me?

That's a good kick.

Reid?

Reid, buddy?

What? What is it?

I don't know.
I think he put the phone down.

Someone's yelling.

Hello?

Who's there?

Who's on the phone?

Who is this?

Um, Reid FaceTimed me
and set me down.

I can see his phone.

Are you the one
who called him?

Hello?!

Well, I'm his friend.
Who are you?

I'm also his friend.
Who are you?

No. Who are you?

No, no. I asked first.

What? First, second.
Who cares?

Tell me who you are.

Oh, God.
All right. Fine.

I'm Harriet.
I work with him.

What, like, in sales?
This whole whatever he does?

Yeah. That is what he does
for a living.

Har--

What, what, what, what, what?
What happened?

Harriet?

Remember the girl
I told you about?

The one
behind door number one?

I --
No shit.

Hello?

Harry Bottoms?

Um...

Stinking Lincoln?

Harry Bottoms.
Who's Harry Bottoms?

Harry Bottoms.
We used to...

Stinking Lincoln?

We used to make fun
of our names.

'Cause we both --
I called her Harry Bottoms.

She called me
Stinking Lincoln.

It was, like, a whole thing.
I thought my name was better.

Stinking...
Yeah, I agree.

Okay.

Lincoln.
Lincoln, is that you?

It's been a minute.
Huh?

How the hell are you?
Yeah, seriously.

Like, what has it been?
Like, two or five or...

What is
the actual number now?

I can't believe this.

Well, it's actually
been seven, but...

You've counted.

No, no, never.

You answered awfully fast.

Sure sounds like
you counted.

Well, like you haven't
been counting.

Every day.

Okay. Wow.
Well, okay.

So here's the thing.
I am gonna skip the B.S. banter

and just get right down
to it.

Do you miss me?

You ask that as if you
already know the answer.

Oh, I think I do.

Think I do.

You -- You knew.

You do, yeah.
Yes, yes.

Wow.

Here it's been seven years.
I can't believe this.

I thought if I ever talked
to you again,

we would, like, ping-pong
back and forth for hours

before I'd work up the nerve
to ask you that.

But whoo!

Swing! Home run!

Got it right off the bat.

Oh.

Yeah, well, I always loved that
about you, though.

You were spontaneous.

Oh, yeah.
Well, you know what?

I always liked that
you were, um...

nice.

I always tried,
I thought.

Oh, my gosh. It is so good
to hear your voice, Lincoln.

I just --
Look, is there, uh...

maybe any way
that you could...

pour yourself a drink?

Oh, I can
in about a minute or so.

'Cause I'm down here
at this bar

and I've got the kindest,
coolest bartender,

who's kept them coming for me
all day long.

And I guess I just thought
that if I ever had the chance

to have this conversation
with you,

it'd be best to catch up
with the one

that got away over
a few stiff drinks.

Oh, yeah.
Just let me get a glass.

Okay?

So how in the hell
do you come to know Reid?

I mean, small world,
right?

Man. Let's see.

I've been working with him
for about five years now.

Um, what about you?

Yeah.
He and I go way back actually.

Yeah. High school.

Sophomore year, we met.

Are you kidding me?

This is such a small world.

All right.
Cheer--

Oh, crap. Reid!

Oh, right. Yeah.
I guess he ditched us.

Lincoln, do you have any idea
what's been going on tonight?

No. No.
I just called him

to follow up
on getting together.

We had talked
earlier today,

but he was in the middle
of something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, the something

he was in the middle of
wasn't just something.

Well, what kind of something
are we talking about here?

It was a big something.
How big a something?

Like a ginormous something.

That sounds like
a big something.

All right.
Are you sitting down?

All right. Give me
the scoop on the something.

Where does one begin
with this?

The scoop is, he's cheating
on his fiancée

with one
of his clients' wives.

Meanwhile, his fiancée is down
in Dallas, visiting family.

She got stuck down there with
the lockdown and everything.

And, you know,

these other two,
they've been sleeping together

since the quarantine began.

And I guess his side fling

isn't ready to call the quits,
So...

Ah. So she's gone
all "Fatal Attraction" on him.

Yeah. From what I understand,
he's in deep.

Uh...

I think she came over tonight,
and he beat her unconscious

and then handcuffed her
to her bed, so...

Gotcha.
So what's the deal?

Okay. So the one
that got away

is good friends
with my old buddy.

Now, my old buddy's
been screwing around

on his fiancée
with some side hustle.

Now, the side hustle
is over there right now.

And I'm guessing there was
some kind of confrontation

because he whacked her
over the head

and handcuffed her
to a bed in his guest room.

I'm guessing now
he's at a quandary

-as to what to do about it.
-Yeah, gotcha.

You ever hear of any shit
like this?

Worst I've ever heard was, a guy

was pissed off
at his mechanic.

So he goes,
he kidnaps the guy,

and then he sends a threatening
phone call to his wife and kids.

How'd that turn out?

Well, as I remember, he came
in here for a drink.

I'm cleaning glasses.

I turn around,
I look out the window.

Guy's trunk opens up,
and out jumps the mechanic,

stark fucking naked.

And he runs down the street.

-He was naked?
-Uh-huh.

Ah, nice.

Lincoln!
Right, yes.

I'm here.
What's the plan?

Do you think you can
meet me down there?

I'd love to.

I don't exactly know
where he lives, though.

Okay. Have you changed
your phone number

in the last seven years?

No.

You know what?
I had a feeling.

I'll text you his address.

Did you change yours?

Nope.

Um...

Lincoln...

do you ever think
about calling me?

All the time, darling.

Really?

That other girl
back then,

that was the...

that was the wrong door
to go behind.

A mistake.

Biggest mistake.

My biggest mistake
was letting you go.

I'll see you over there,
cowboy.

Can't wait, milady.

Whoo! Yes!

♪ I believe in miracles ♪

♪ You came along ♪

♪ You sexy thing ♪

♪ You -- ♪

Oh, God! Gotta get ready.

Well, guess I got to go.

You guess?

I think you know.

Ahh! Certainly shaping up

to be quite the evening,
ain't it?

Well, I bet it tops
my mechanic story.

You think?
Well, let's see.

This friend of yours,
he's got this side hustle

handcuffed
in his guest room

with his woman
coming home tomorrow.

And their best friend,

who's trying to help
him out of the jam,

just happens to be the same girl
that got away from you.

Yeah. I think that's gonna be
sitting at number one

from now on.

Yeah, maybe.

Well, guess
I better get to it.

You know how one minute
you're young and having fun,

and the next you're

turning down the car stereo
so you can see better?

So...

basically you're saying
you started screwing me

because you were bored
with your perfect relationship

with your beautiful wife,
who's the best thing

that's ever happened to you.

Oh, and also because
you're getting old.

No, you missed
the point entirely,

which doesn't surprise me
'cause you never listen.

Mnh-mnh. In a nutshell, that's
just what you described.

That is in no way
what I just described.

Do you love her?

Yes. Otherwise, you'd run away
with me tonight.

Do you want to marry her?

Yes. Otherwise, you'd run away
with me tonight.

Does she take good care
of you?

Yes. Otherwise, you'd run away
with me tonight.

Does she fulfill
your every need

and is everything
you've ever wanted in a woman,

even though she's far
from perfect?

Yes. Otherwise, you'd run away
with me tonight.

And do you want to spend
the rest of your life with her?

Yes.

Otherwise, you'd run away
with me tonight.

And you're all right
with that?

You would just want to run
away with me tonight, huh?

Just like a cheap
paperback romance novel

you find on
the supermarket shelves.

You know, just leave your
husband, just like that?

I never loved him.
You know that.

Right, right.
The money. I get it.

That's nothing. You'd
just be done with that, too,

huh?
Leave that behind?

Who said anything about
leaving it behind?

What are you planning?

It's done.

Trust me.

Okay. Well...

what about me
is so appealing to you?

I mean,
aside from that night.

'Cause obviously that night,
you know, big affair.

It's exciting and
all that stuff.

But what are
the qualities of me

that you really want
to run away with?

You're normal.

Normal?

Oh, you want
a different word?

You're usual,

you're standard,
you're typical,

you're ordinary,
you're stock.

-You're customary.
-Okay. Okay. All right.

But you'd want to leave
behind a fantastic,

undaunted,
rich businessman?

-Well, you're a businessman.
-Okay.

I do all right.
I mean, look around.

Yeah, I do okay.

But your husband does
triple this on a bad day.

Oh, I'd say you do
really, really well.

Well is well enough
for me.

The truth is, years ago,
I was with someone.

You might say I convinced him
to run away with me.

And in the end,
I tossed him aside.

You know,
that's really convincing me.

You're saying you tossed
someone else aside

because that doesn't make me
feel like a schmuck,

that you're gonna pick up
another normal guy

that you're gonna pick up
and toss aside again.

-No, no, but, Reid...
-Okay.

...it's different with you,
though.

Believe me, Sage...

I definitely did see
something in you.

I mean, a guy who steps out
on his fiancée

finds something
very, very unique,

very eye-striking
about you.

You were intrepid.

Mm.

That night, sure.

Yeah, absolutely.

And even the few weeks
after that, yeah, absolutely.

And you know what?
Maybe -- I don't know.

Maybe blame it on the lockdown
or blame it on something else.

-I...
-Mm.

Yeah. Being locked up,
being quarantined, being alone.

Well...

again,
we started before that.

Exactly.

You definitely had
something.

Mm.

You still have something.

Something that
Carly doesn't have.

You're so...

Now.

...vivid.

I'm happy with this...

description of me.

No, no, no.

No.

You really don't want
to say no to me.

The fact of the matter is,
I do.

I am, Sage,

because, well,
I love Carly.

So you're willing to throw away
a life of ease with me...

...just to spare
her feelings?

That's a sick question.
You know that?

Yeah, I do.

What exactly do you mean,
"a life of ease"?

Hmm?

Do you think your life
is just going to continue, Reid?

You cheated on your fiancée.
She's going to find out.

And on top of it all,
you kidnapped me.

I didn't kidnap you.

What do you call this?

This is
temporary detainment.

Oh, detainment? Hmm.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

That implies that
I'll be let go.

And if, and when, I'm let go,
what do you think

I'll do then, Reid?

Reid, my husband
doesn't know I'm here.

By the time he finds out,
we could be...

He doesn't know I took it.

He has a safe upstairs.

You might say I needed it.

And he got a call
to go to New York.

You'd think with the world
in lockdown,

he'd take a break from work,
but, alas...

Anyway, he won't be back
until next week.

We could be on the other side
of the world by then.

He's out of town.

And he doesn't know
about you leaving.

And he doesn't
know about the money,

and he doesn't know
about us.

Of course not.

How much?

$5 million.

Just down --
Just down there?

Mm-hmm.

In the gym bag?

Mm.

What?

Reid?

Hey! Reid?!

What are you doing?

Reid, what are you doing?!

What are you doing?!

Did you think I was lying
about the money?

Yeah, I did.

Well, now you know.
No bullshit.

You and me.

That's the way
it's gonna be.

Mm.

Oh, come on, Reid.

Come on, come on, come on.
Stop it.

Oh, come on, Reid.

You might
as well uncuff me.

We both know how this is going
to end, one way or another.

Oh, oh, oh.
Do -- Do -- Do we?

-Do we, though? Do we?
-Ah, we do.

Do we, though? We don't.
Ah...

We do.
We don't.

We do.
We don't.

Do. Do.
We don't. We don't.

Do. Do. Do.
Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't.

Do. Do. Do. Do.
Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't.

-Do, do, do, do, do...
-Don't, don't, don't, don't...

Ah, shut up!

I don't think you see it
from my perspective.

Let me just enlighten you.

There is an opportunity
for me.

Yeah. Right.
Well, what opportunity is that?

Okay, so I don't know
if you know this,

but there's $5 million

in a sweaty
little gym bag downstairs.

No one knows you're here.

No one knows about us.

Your husband will suspect you
as soon as he comes back.

'Cause why would
he suspect me?

I'm just some schmuck that
he met on some business trip,

-like, months ago.
-Mm.

I'm forgotten.

I'm normal. So I'm forgotten.
Okay, all right.

And the only problem
with all of that is...

You.

Exactly.

Yeah.

I know.

I know. I know. I know.

-You.
-Uh-huh.

But if...

you know, you weren't
in the picture anymore...

What?

In the picture?

-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
-Okay.

-Well, that's original.
-Yeah.

-That's super-original.
-Yeah.

Are you saying you're going
to try to kill me?

Uhh...oh,

what if I am?

I'd say
that you're bluffing.

What if I'm not?

Oh, well, I'm calling it.

Okay. Okay.

How are you gonna do it?

Are you gonna take a knife
from the kitchen

and stab me to death?

Oh. How about this?

A rope from the garage
and strangle me.

- Ooh!
- Mm.

Got an antique candlestick
or a lead pipe?

Maybe a revolver.

-A wrench, perhaps.
-Uh-huh.

I'm really gonna miss
the fact

that you make
board game references.

Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.

That's nice. That's really
nice for me.

Just trying to add
a little more humor

to your already hysterical
plan of murdering me

and trying to get away
with it.

Don't think I won't.

Ohh!

Oh, my God.

Oh, Reid.

Reid.

Quit looking at me
like that.

Who are you --
Jack Nicholson now?

Oh. Oh.

Are you, like, gonna
"Who's Johnny" me?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.
Hey, stranger.

Hey.
Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, yeah, let's --

You don't got the
COVIDs, do you?

I've spent all afternoon
in a bar.

-I can't promise anything.
-Come here.

Oh, my gosh.

I cannot believe it.

I don't think
I can either.

I have something. I have
something to show you.

Oh? I...
Okay.

Okay, close your eyes.

Ah.

I present to you
Staples Center...

-March 3, 2012.
-Yeah.

-One of my favorite nights.
-Mine, as well.

If we'd only known the year
they'd end up having, huh?

Yeah.
It's my favorite keepsake.

Well, I've never known a player
to give a broken stick

to a couple of fans.

-Well.
-But...

-Carter's cheap, I guess.
-Yeah.

I can't believe
you still have yours.

-Of course.
-Wow.

You know,

when we...ended,

that wasn't good.

And that was on me.

-That was not...
-Oh.

-No, that wasn't...
-Yeah, no, no, no, no.

It's -- You know what?

I-I always understood that
whoever she...

she was, you know...
It was stupid.

It's what you...

you know, what you...

-Yeah.
-Um...

Actually, though, I...

There is something that's kind
of bothered me...

...all these years
I have a question about.

Um...

You know that one night,
that long night

when we drove up
to the Palisades?

Oh, yeah.

You know, we had just left
that cute little beachside bar.

-Mm-hmm.
-I, um...

Well, I, you know,

said that I loved you,

and I was
just kind of wondering

if that maybe got
in the way of things.

Yes.

Oh.
Then.

That's key.

-Because now it --
-Yeah.

You know what?
You know what?

We don't have to talk
about this right now.

I just realized that Reid
is in there

-and there's some kidnapped lady
-Right. Of course.

-and it's a whole situation.
-Let's do...

And we probably should
help him with that, and...

Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-We'll come back to this. Let's
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And get that situated,
and then we'll get,

-you know, back to us, you know?
-Mm-hmm.

-Oh, my purse. My purse.
-Get your purse.

Shoot, shoot, shoot,
shoot, shoot.

I mean, I think this is a great
area and everything, but...

Mm-hmm.

Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay.

Okay, let's go.

Come on. This way, this way,
this way, this way.

-Oh, oh.
-Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come on. Come on.
Okay. Down. Down. Huddle.

-What's going on?
-Let's get a huddle.

-Are you okay?
-Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, I saw your car coming.

Okay?
Thanks for coming.

Oh, boy.
Thanks for coming.

-Hey. Hey. Why are you here?
-Hi. Hi. Oh.

You were kind of talking
to both of us.

-Remember, drunkie?
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Okay.
Great. Good.

You look like hell.
You look like crap.

Thank you. Thank you.
Likewise. Likewise, asshole.

-Okay, good.
-You smell like Jack.

So we're gonna do this now.
Are you ready?

-Really? Thank you.
-Maybe we should just...

-I wasn't drinking Jack.
-That's okay, that's okay.

It's not the best time
to catch up.

No, no, no, no.
It's the perfect time.

-I'm very concerned.
-Stop. Stop, stop, stop!

I'm very concerned.

I know you're concerned.
I know you're concerned.

You're gonna be less concerned
in a minute, I promise.

-Okay. Are we going --
-Hands in.

Hands in.
Hands...

Okay. I don't know
what we're doing.

Ready? On three.

We're gonna go,
"One, two, three. Go, team!"

Go, team.
Oh, okay.

So, where is she?

Upstairs.

Reid?

-We got to...
-This is gonna be fun.

Yeah. It gets better.

You do realize
this isn't gonna be

the easiest of situations
to resolve here?

Oh, yeah. Super-aware of that,
but, you know --

I mean, you got
any bright ideas there?

-I have one, I have one.
-Oh, okay.

But it's gonna require
a little show-and-tell.

So I want you
to look in the bag.

-Right there. Yeah, it's okay.
-Oh, great.

-It's okay. It's okay.
-Do I really want to know?

Yeah. Yeah, you do.
It's not that kind of bag.

Mm, mm...

Jiminy Christmas.

How much is in here?

$5 million.

-Really?
-Hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Here's the kicker,
though --

Husband doesn't know
about us,

so subsequently does not know
that she is here.

Hm.

Reid, that is seriously not
why you called us here today.

I am not helping you with that.

Reid!

There she goes again.

That...

Who is that?

-The girl.
-It's the...

I don't know.

What is he doing?
Lincoln.

Sage.

-Wow.
-Lincoln.

Lincoln, Lincoln.
Help me, help me.

You got to -- You got to
get me out of this.

-This man is crazy.
-Okay. Okay.

-Okay. Hey. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.
-Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

-Adults are talking. Okay, okay.
-Hey, hey, hey, hey.

-Just wait a second. What?
-Hey.

This is
your quarantine booty call?

No, I'm keeping another girl
in the other room over there.

Yes, of course it is.
How do you know her?

Mm, mm...

Um, Lincoln,
what is going on here?

Lincoln? Like familiarity,
like you know him.

How do you know him?
How do you know Lincoln?

Oh, um...

She and I
kind of caught up earlier

when we were on the phone
with you

and then you kind of just
disappeared. Remember that?

Right, right. So now you're
best friends?

That's how it works?
You're quick to make friends.

-No, but, um...
-Quick, quick.

Seven years ago or so,
I was actually living in L.A.

-Oh, of course you were.
-And I never told you. I know.

Didn't tell me.
Why would I have to know that?

Anyway, she and I
were...kind of an item,

I guess you could say.
An item.

I don't know. Whatever
you want to call it.

We were sort of together,
kind of, maybe.

-Yeah.
-Wait, hold on.

So together seven years ago.

So you had talked about, like,
a major, like, love interest

years and years ago.

That's Lincoln, isn't it?

All this time, Carly's been
trying to get this out of you,

-just rip it from you, and...
-You know what?

And it's him.
It's him.

I'm just having a little problem
with this

-'cause it's kind of weird.
-You know what?

-You know what? You know what?
-Him.

-It's --
-This guy.

He's got a couple
of good qualities.

I do. You're acting like
I got nothing.

What is -- Come on.

I mean, I'd like to hear
about them,

Actually a lot of good
qualities.

How is it surprising?

You know what? You know what?
This, Reid --

This is really
none of your business, okay?

Okay, well, it is my house,
but who cares? My house.

I think
we need to get back

to the more important
question here.

Who is she,
and why do you know her?

What is going on?

That's actually
a really good point.

-Yeah.
-That was my first question.

I'm sorry. That's really
none of your business.

-Excuse me?
-Yeah, hurts, doesn't it?

I don't know who you are,
but...

But what?

But what? What?

Oh, if I were handcuffed
to a bedpost, honey,

I wouldn't be throwing
any "buts" around, okay?

-Okay. Okay, you know what?
-Lincoln? Lincoln?

I think
we need some drinks, right?

-No. No, no.
-We need some drinks?

Um...I can do this.

Uh, wow.

Yeah.

Okay.
Mm-hmm. Okay.

-Reid.
-Yeah?

Let me introduce you
to the woman who sent me

on the infamous downward spiral
all those years ago.

-That's great. That's great.
-What?

-Amazing. I love this.
-And, Harriet,

let me introduce you
to the girl who, well...

-The one who...
-Hi.

-So this, this, this, this is...
-Yeah.

This is Christmas.
That's what this is.

This is Christmas for me.
This is really good.

I'm gonna be sick.

This is great.
This is great.

This is good.
This is good.

Harriet, would you like
to polish off

a whole entire bottle
of tequila

that I've been saving
for a special occasion?

-I'll take several shots.
-I think so. She's a tequila

girl. You probably knew that.

-Okay. All right.
-Okay.

I'll be waiting.

-Mm...
-Um...

Go down, have a drink.
Or 2. Or 10.

What are you gonna do?

I'll be down in a minute.

Right.

Okay.

Nice to meet you.

So...

So...

Bit of an awkward reunion.

Tell me about it.

So, what, you start banging
Reid, and you come over here,

and his fiancée's
coming home tomorrow,

and you won't leave,
and he beats you unconscious

and does this to you?

Did I hear that right?

That's the gist.

The things some of us go through
during quarantine, huh?

Yeah.

Oh, Lincoln.

You always had a way with words
to lighten the mood.

I don't know that there's
any lightening this mood, Sage.

This is some pretty dark shit
going on here.

So, what, you leave me,
run off with some rich guy,

screw around with him
for a few years,

and then you want me back,
the simple life.

But instead of me,
you go to Reid?

I didn't know you knew him.

It's a small world.

Very.

And the girl...

-is she the...
-Yep, that's her.

-She was the one?
-That's her.

Oh.

Microscopic world.

Hold on.

What are you doing?

Hold on.

-Kelsey's Pub.
-Hey, it's me.

-Me? Who's me?
-Me, the guy from earlier.

The guy looking to top
your crazy shit list.

Yeah, yeah. Sure, kid, sure.
What's going on out there?

Quick update.
That little side hustle

-my buddy's been banging?
-Yeah?

Same girl that was behind
door number two for me.

Get the fuck out!

As God is my witness.
Jesus Christ.

Well, that's -- that's
just too good, kid.

That's just too good.

You're telling me.

Anyway, okay,
I'll call you later, all right?

Yeah, please do.

All right.
I'll see you.

Really?

You want to --
I don't know...

maybe call the cops
while you're at it?

-You know I'm not doing that.
-Okay.

Okay, Reidy-Schmeidy,
let's get this party going.

You got it. You got it.
Okay.

Let me just find
a glass here.

Real quick.
You know what's funny?

You, you and that girl upstairs,
you have something in common.

-That's fun. Have some of this.
-Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Can it, okay?

That was years before
we worked together.

And I didn't even know
you two were pals.

Okay. We were, like,
way back in high school.

-There you go. Real far back.
-Mm!

Good.
Good. Good. Good.

Back in high school,
a little bit in college.

Then he went off to be a
great filmmaker.

And we all know
how that one turned out.

Super-successful, right?

Well, I don't think he had
a lot of friends, okay?

Like, I get it.
I get the situation. Just...

Okay, okay.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Knock it. Knock it.

There it is. Good.
That's good. That's good.

-Mm!
-Nice, nice. Good. Good.

You know what? You need to lay
off of him a little bit, okay?

-Mm-hmm.
-He's great.

Like, him and I
were great together.

We worked, we had fun.

I don't know if you've ever
noticed this, Reidy-Schmeidy,

but I'm not
the coolest girl ever, okay?

I got weird jokes.

People find me annoying,
but Lincoln, Lincoln gets me.

-Okay. Okay.
-Okay?

Only problem was,
you know, back then, we

-didn't make things exclusive.
-Mm.

...and that wicked witch
upstairs,

-the home-wrecker she is...
-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

crept into his life and...

long story short,
he chose that...whore.

Okay, okay. That's good.
That's good.

Again, I just, I mean, it's
funny to me.

I don't know if you're getting
my perspective on this, but

-it's Lincoln with two women.
-Mm-hmm.

Two women for Lincoln.

Two.
It's the two of you.

Two. Dos.
Dos equis. Dos.

"Wow" is all I have to say.
Mm. Okay.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Coming from the man who is
in the most fucked situation

any man's ever been in.

I do, I do. Thank you.
You're fucked.

You're fucked, Reid.
Thank you. Thank you.

Like...

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la,
la-la ♪

-You're fucked. Yeah.
-Okay, I love that.

You know what?
Christmas carols aside,

I'm open to suggestions 'cause
that's why I brought you here.

Go, go, go.

-You and me go.
-Well, okay.

Guess what.
I have a great suggestion.

How about we do
what you suggested earlier?

What do you think? What do
you think? What you do think?

Earlier...Oh, oh! You mean the
like, the murder thing.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gone, dead.

Dead, dead, deadski.
You know?

Okay, okay, okay. Well, just
spitballing here, but how? How

-would you do--How? How? How?
-Yeah. Yeah.

-I would like to know how.
-Oh, I have a great idea.

Okay. I'd love to hear it.
Love the enthusiasm.

Love the enthusiasm.
Let's hear it.

Oh, okay. Okay.
You take this.

-That's good. That's good.
-And on up we go.

-Okay. All right.
-Yeah.

Well, you're insane.
That's clear now.

-Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
-But love the enthusiasm.

I'm in love,
I'm getting drunk,

-and I hate her.
-Okay.

-So that's...
-Over Lincoln? Hate her

-over Lincoln? That's the--
-Go. Just go.

That's the fun thing
about all of this.

You should just grow
a pair and go.

-Okay. Okay.
-Get it. Go.

-You know what, though?
-I think that's a good idea.

You know what? I'm gonna stop
you right there.

Human being.
Human being upstairs, okay?

Let's just put that
into perspective.

I know a monster,
but still a human being.

-Yeah, let's think about --
Okay. Okay.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

We can give her bleach.
It's less painful.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

I didn't mean
another suggestion.

I meant, like,
another way to go.

Like another thing we can do
that doesn't involve

any murdering, death, or
killing.

I don't think you're thinking
about this clearly.

-Mm. Mm-hmm.
Her dying?

That's the only way you
and Carly

go back to being the way
you were before this nightmare.

You make it sound
real simple.

-Super-simple when you...
-Oh, it is. It is simple.

It's a simple concept.

Kind of hard to execute,
but, you know.

I mean, Lincoln and I
are here to support you.

That's nice.
That's super-nice of you.

Yeah, yeah.
I appreciate your friendships.

So you would just walk
right in...

...and then straight up
just murder the shit out of her?

Oh, oh, oh. Hell no.
No, no, no, no, no.

That's you, buddy.
That's all you.

Well, let's brainstorm
'cause I'm...

Um...oh,
like what we should do.

-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
-Okay. Well, okay, clearly --

I'm not liking the knife.
Too messy.

-Knife is just too messy.
-Okay, well,

I mean, the bleach is gonna be
messy, too, 'cause, blegh...

Yeah, I know. She could purge it
up, and then it's...

I mean, who wants to deal
with that?

-COVID. COVID. Perfect.
-COVID.

-We suffocate her.
-Sell me.

We -- We tell them that
she just had the COVIDs.

Okay.
I'm liking it so far.

I'm liking it.
The suffocation thing.

That's a lot cleaner,
for one thing.

-A lot easier.
-Yeah.

But you know
what the problem is?

There's actually an incubation
period of up to five days,

-two days for the virus...
-Wow.

...and then three -- I know. I
learned this.

I learned this. Google.
Google magic.

-Google magic. Okay.
-Yeah. Yeah. Five days.

So she would be symptomatic
in five days

and then maybe die
within those five or six days.

-All right, all right.
-That's too long.

We only have
till tomorrow.

-We could hang her upside down.
-Okay.

-Hang her upside down.
-Make all the blood fl--

I guess that would take
a long time.

It might take a little
while longer, too, yeah.

The pool,
the pool, the pool!

-The pool. Okay, okay, okay.
-We'll drown her.

Make it look like
an accident.

-Aqua death. I like aqua deaths.
-Yeah.

Yeah, okay. So she...

Okay,
so what's the story here?

-You know what? You know what?
-What? What?

We got all this alcohol.
We could get her drunk.

-Yes! Yes!
-We get her super-drunk,

super-duper-drunk, and then
she drank so much,

-and then she --
-She just, boom, drowns.

-Here's the story.
-Gone. Can't swim.

So...

how bad
is it out there?

It's bad.

Most of my colleagues
treat me like

I don't even exist anymore,
you know?

I don't get phone calls
returned, text messages,

that kind of thing.

Just doing these shit
infomercials last seven years.

I left that much of a mark
on you, huh?

A bit of a minor depression
did occur when you left, yeah.

But I got to say, most of that
was because of what I gave up.

Not because of you.

Her?

She's really something.

Oh. Really something.

And, you know,
the thing is,

I've been kicking myself
all these years,

and then I find out tonight
she's been thinking

the same thing I have
ever since then.

That's a lot of wasted time,
Sage.

But I'm not you.

Well...

sometimes life sneaks in
through the back doggy door,

you know?

You could try
owning up to it.

I did.
It felt pretty good.

Lincoln, I'm sorry.

That didn't really do for me
what I thought it would do.

-Lincoln, come on. I'm --
-Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Come on, we're...

Me, you...

that's done.
I'm over that.

I just guess I always thought
if I ever heard you say

that to me,
it would make me feel real good.

And, instead, it's just
kind of -- I don't know --

eh, take it, leave it,
pbht.

Lincoln.

-Baby, I really didn't --
-Baby?

Baby? Oh.

Ouch.

Look...

you're stretching now,
aren't you?

You're getting desperate.

I know
when you get desperate.

This has gotten desperate.

Well, all right, Reid.

We certainly got a situation
on our hands, don't we?

-Mm-hmm.
-My ex, my other ex,

your side hustle...

and your girl's
coming home tomorrow.

-Yeah. Yeah. Thanks.
-What are we doing?

Well, we were thinking
of killing her, so...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Yeah, that's the plan.
-Yeah.

-What are your thoughts?
-Oh, okay, okay.

What?

Well, here's the thing.

-Here's the sitch here. Okay.
-Tell me.

-So if he lets her go...
-Mm-hmm.

...she's likely gonna go to
the police and ruin his life...

-Yeah. Yeah, that's bad.
-and it's not a good

-It's bad, it's bad.
-situation at all.

And if he agrees to the
ridiculous demands...

Insanity.

he's gonna end up
in a foreign country with her...

-Right.
-and we'll never see him again,

-and it'll destroy Carly, and...
-Equally as bad.

...seeing as how they're my
nearest and dearest friends...

Nearest and dearest.

...I don't want
to see that happen.

-Another big problem.
-Right.

Seeing as how you are still
the love of my life,

which is something we can talk
about later, of course...

-I'm not getting into this.
-...and she...

that whore kind of drove
a wedge between us,

I really, really, really,
really don't like her...

-Mm-hmm.
-...so that's my motivation.

It's pretty good motivation.

It's about like mine, except
for the "loving you" part...

-Yeah. Mnh-mnh.
-...'cause I'm not there.

I'm not there.
I'm not there, buddy.

I'm just not.
Okay.

-Well, that's all insane, so...
-No.

...maybe we can think
of something else.

I don't know about that.

I think that's a pretty
solid plan, right?

I think that's, like,
the clearest we've thought of.

I mean, there's more to it,
of course.

-It's not just, like, "kill."
-No.

There's actually a whole story.
You're gonna love it.

It sounds like just dead,
murder, you know, a human being.

-It's the plot of a movie, man.
-Give a second.

You're gonna love this.
Plot of a movie.

Give me a second.

-Kelsey's Pub.
-Hey, what's up, buddy?

So they want to kill her.

-Kill her?
-Yeah.

Pretty sure that's it.
Just kill her.

Just dead.
Just nothing.

-Gone. Done. Out.
-Yeah, yeah.

I gotcha.
Well, goddamn, kid.

I knew you was going
for the high score,

but I think you're about
to bust the bank here.

I believe I would advise you
against that.

Right. Yeah, okay.
Gotta go. Bye.

S-S-Shit.

So we just kill her?

-Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah.
-Yeah. Pretty much straight up.

I mean, it's a little more
complicated than that.

You're making it sound simple,
but it's not simple.

-Yeah.
-It doesn't seem that much

more complicated than how
you're saying it.

Well, there's a lot
of moving pieces to it.

Yeah, but we planned it out.
We planned it out.

So in a nutshell,
you've lost your minds.

No, no, no, no.

'cause this sounds
like the talk of someone

who has lost their mind.

As clear as clear can be.

A long talk?
You had a long talk about this?

It's funny you should
say all this stuff

after all the shit
that I've done for you.

All the shit you've done for me?
-Yeah, yeah.

Okay, I don't think you've done

-anything for me.
-Oh, really?

In fact, one might say
you abandoned me.

Okay. One might say.
One might say that.

One might say that.
I'm not saying it.

Who would that one be,
exactly?

Is that the one
that's gonna be the guy who

was my best friend
back in high school

Uh-huh. Here it is.

...who was kind of my friend
in college,

but then he decided to take
one fucking film class

so that he could become
the next, what was it,

Martin Scorsese?
I think it was Scorsese,

or Spielberg,
or David Fincher,

or maybe it was Nora Ephron.
I don't know.

Maybe you're a little more of a
"You've Got Mail" kind of guy.

I don't know about that,
but either way, he decided

to pick up and move
all the way to, what,

Connecticut of all places?
Why?

Because there was
a Middlesex Film Commission

director's spot available?
'Cause I don't remember that

ever being on the roster
of film locations,

New Hollywood wave.

Maybe that's just me.
I don't know.

Maybe that's just me. But
what ended up being the case?

I think you were,
what was it,

a second unit A.D. on
a "micro-budget feature film,"

which we all know
in Middlesex would be a...

-Porn shoot.
-Porn, porn, yes.

That was my bad.
How would I know?

-How would I know?
-How would you know?

Gee, I don't know.
I don't know.

Maybe when someone's
unzipping their pants

-during the audition process.
-You were doing porn?

-It was a one-time thing.
-Okay.

The point is there,
Scorsese wannabe,

it was 15 years,
and in all that time,

you maybe sent me some e-mails
about some crowdsourcing stuff

that you wanted
for some projects

that you were trying to pitch
to everyone else.

So, yeah,
real lovely, lovely stuff.

Not even a "hello." Not even
a, "Hey. How's it going?"

-So screw you, okay?
-Okay, maybe I abandoned you.

-One might say. One might say.
-One might say.

I'm not saying it,
but one might say.

-One might say a lot.
-Not me,

-but one could say.
-What? Right.

One might just suggest.
What would you call it?

Maybe it was because
I was the one

who got by in school
with a C average.

- You were Mr. University.
- Oh!

-I was Mr. Community College.
-Guys. Hey.

Hey.

-Hey, hey, hey.
-You know what?

The amounts of tears
you're crying

could just fill
this entire valley.

-Guys! Guys! Guys!
-Okay. Whoa. Here.

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Blah blah blah blah.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,
I can't take this crap anymore.

I know. He's awful.
Isn't he?

No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm awful? I'm awful?

No, no, no. He's sorry.
You're sorry.

No, I'm not sorry.
Don't put words in my mouth.

Can you guys just, like, man up
and shake hands?

There you go.

You guys are such good friends,
like, lifelong buddies.

We're here
for an oh-so joyous occasion.

Now...

you go murder
his sloppy seconds.

I'm sorry.
Sloppy seconds?

-His sloppy seconds?
-That's true.

-I don't know about that.
-I had her first.

You had her second.
That's the joke.

Well, sometimes the chef gets it
right on the second turn.

You know what? You might want
to refrain from the jokes,

you know, if we're gonna have
a future together.

Me okay, you not so much.

Okay. Fair enough.
Would you go yell at him?

Now, now, real quick, real
quick. Are you guys okay with

this? 'Cause I'm okay with this.
Obviously I'm all right.

Perfectly all right
with doing this.

But I didn't know
if you were okay with it.

-I'm all right with it.
-Can you live with it?

-Can you live with it? You know
-But I'm not okay with it.

what? I don't care
if you're all right with it.

You're gonna walk up there
and stab her to death,

and that's just gonna be it?

Maybe something
a little more clever than that.

I don't know. I don't know.
Some kind of...

You have a knife in your hand,
you're gonna walk upstairs.

-What else is there to it?
-Okay, okay, fine.

I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it, okay?

Now, just remember,
you guys are accomplices.

You're the accomplices.

-Straight, shoulders back.
-No, no, no, no.

Okay, okay, okay. I need
the knife. I need the knife.

-Give me the knife.
-You got it.

-Thank you for giving me knife.
-Careful.

-I appreciate that.
-I'm a good guy here.

Okay. So I'm gonna go do this.
All right.

-Yeah.
-I'm gonna go do this.

If you've got the cojones,
go do it.

Of course I have the cojones.
I've always had the cojones.

You're still here talking.
You're still here talking.

There's only two cojones
and I've got them both, so...

-Then go.
-You got it. You got it.

-Then go.
-Okay, okay. I'm gonna go.

Okay.
You're not going.

-You're stalling.
-You guys want to come watch?

You guys want to watch this?
'Cause it's gonna be epic.

It's gonna be pretty amazing.

-Go.
-You don't want to watch?

-No.
-Okay. Fine. Fine. Fine.

I'm on it. I'm on it.
I'm on it like a car bonnet.

You've got this.
You've got this. Whoo!

Shit.

Um...

-Yeah, I can't do it.
-Oh, thank God.

-Nope. Nope.
-Oh, thank God.

Nope, nope.
Not gonna do it.

-Come on, man.
-I can't do it.

-Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh.
-Exactly.

You can't just go up
and kill this woman.

I know she is who she is, but...

You didn't want me
to do it either, did you?

-Of course not!
-Yes, I did, I did.

But I couldn't do it.

You wanted him to do it?

-It just...
-I couldn't do it.

-It got so real.
-Super-real.

-Yes.
-Yes.

-It got totally real.
-When you picked up the knife,

then I was like, "Oh, God.
What have I done?"

I felt like a badass, though.
Like, I felt like a badass.

You were a badass.

Like, I had the knife,
and I was like,

"I'm ready to go.
I'm ready to go"

But then I thought,
"You know what?

-It's probably not me."
-You were such a badass.

-It's the alcohol.
-I don't think so.

-Reid, Reid. You gotta
-It's the liquid courage.

-go talk to her.
-Yeah, I know. I know.

Yeah.
Let's all go talk to her.

That's actually the best idea
this guy's ever had in his life.

-Let's all go talk to her.
-That's not a bad idea.

I could use some backup.
My friends.

I don't have anything else
to say to her.

You lead the way.
You lead the way.

Come on, come on.
We got to help him out.

Come on.
It's gonna be okay.

-Come on, guys.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

...say to her.

-Oh, shit.
-What?

Oh, God.

Oh, boy.

Looks like she lubed
her way free.

Yep. The old slip and lube.
That'll do it.

-Oh, God.
-You know what?

I'm really looking forward
to the day that

John Wilkes Booth shoots you in
the back of the head.

That's gonna be a good day.

And you say you're not mad, huh?

-Well...
-Oh, this is just great.

She's gone, guys. What the hell
are we supposed to do now?

Gone?
Harriet, she's not gone.

-No.
What do you mean?-

She's gone.

She's still here.

How do you know?

Hmm? Hmm?
Yeah.

You satisfied now?

Houston,
we have a problem.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

We should...
Yeah.

-Okay.
-Let's get this wicked witch.

I'm totally getting
a Scooby-Doo mystery vibe.

-Wait, wait, wait.
-Take it easy. Take it easy.

I've got to get my
light. I've got to get my light.

All right. Are we ready
to call the police yet?

We're not gonna call
the police.

-That's a terrible idea.
-Yeah. No police, ever.

Okay.
In case you haven't noticed,

she's now cut the power
to the house.

When did she do that?

You know as well as
I do that she's a wacko.

Okay. Wacko's a good word
to describe her.

Wacko's an understatement.
She's a psychopath.

No, no, no.
I like the word "wacko."

Psychopath's, you know,
just played out.

Oh.
She's a wacko-path.

Wacko-path.
I like that.

That's good. That's good.
I like that.

I like that a lot, actually.
Wacko-path. Wacko-path.

Oh, hold on.

-Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah.
-Oh, my God.

Shush, shush,
shush, shush, shush!

Okay, okay, okay.

Hello, Sage?

See what you've gone
and done now, honey?

You've made this
incredibly complicated.

Yeah, well, okay. You might have
a point there. Yeah, all right.

Those two,
those two friends of yours...

they know now.

What do you mean,
"they know now"?

Are you saying that
if I ran away with you,

then I wouldn't be able to
associate with my friends?

That's very controlling.

I don't like being controlled
like that, Sage. Kind of weird.

Connections to your ex-fiancée
would be unhealthy, Reid, hon.

Oh, we're gonna talk
about unhealthy now.

You are gonna lecture
me on unhealthy.

That's cute. That's cute.

- Outside.
- Yeah.

Just keep her on the phone,
okay?

Come on. Come on.
Come on.

Don't try to be witty, hon.

It doesn't suit you.

Yeah.
Don't call me "hon" anymore.

That's a stupid nickname.
I don't like it.

It's like when people
call each other "babe."

I hate that word, too.
I don't know why. I hate them.

So, what, hon?

What's your plan?

Are you and I gonna start
being you and I?

Or are you gonna try
to kill me?

Those are really
your only two options,

and those two friends
of yours

that you sent outside
to go look for me,

they're really not
gonna help you and me.

Okay. You know what?
I have an idea.

Why don't we leave my friends
out of this, huh?

We could
just send them on back,

and it could
just be you and me.

Just you and me.
You and me, Sage, huh?

What do you say to that?
'Cause I like that idea.

I think it's a good idea.
It's a really fantastic idea.

It can be the adventures of
Reid and Sage. What do you say?

I wanted it just to
be you and me,

and it's going to be you
and me.

I'm not crazy.

Reid, I'm totally not.

Got it?

I know it might seem like
I'm acting

like a nutty chick
in some Friday night

Lifetime Network movie.

But I promise you,
I'm totally sane.

Cut the crap, Sage.
Come on.

Stop it.

Listen to me.

Face it, hon --

I am in control here.

Okay. Okay.
Over there.

Across the pool,
by the solar lights.

Oh, yeah, I see that.
There's something over there.

Do you think it's her?

Maybe.

Let's go check it out.

-I'll go around.
-Okay.

-Lincoln, wait. Wait, wait
-What? What? What?

She's insane, you know?

Yeah, of course I know.

I mean,
we could die tonight.

Yeah, I suppose we could.

This could be it.

It could.

I, um...

I don't want to have
any regrets, Lincoln.

No.

No, no, no.
Regrets aren't good. No.

No. No, no.

I've had a regret for
seven years.

This is corny, isn't it?

Yeah. Very corny.

Do you care that it's corny?
I don't care at all.

No. It's fine.

If, um...

I were to tell you
right now that I loved you,

would that get
in the way again?

Oh.

Bottoms,
when we were together...

Yeah?

...all those years ago,

those were --
Those were the best.

Those nights,
you know, the Palisades.

-Long nights.
-Beautiful nights.

You know what I do to pass
the time now?

What?

-I go to bed early.
-Mm.

I don't like
going to bed early.

Well, you know, it's getting
kind of late right now.

I love you.

Mm.

That was a weird lead
into that, wasn't it?

It was very weird.

We also just kissed
during a pandemic.

Are we supposed
to do that?

I don't know, but I love
breaking the rules with you.

Are you scared?

-Oh, terrified. Terrified.
-Me too.

-That's probably the reason.
-Oh, yeah, yeah.

Let's go find what's her name
before she kills Reid.

Oh, yeah. After you.
Let's find her.

Hey, Sage, let me
ask you something.

Just being serious here.

Do you get, like,
a sick pleasure

screwing with
people's lives?

You know, me, Lincoln,
your husband,

probably your parents.

-Aah! God!
Mm, okay.

The man cheating on
his fiancée is gonna judge me.

One, two, three.

Damn it.

Maybe she went out front.

-Oh, wait a second.
-What?

I seriously doubt
she cut the power.

-The breaker boxes!
-Oh.

She probably
just shut them off.

-I think I know where they are.
-All right.

Okay, since I'm the fast one,
I'll run and go.

Come on. You know this.

I'm gonna go shut them on.

You go check on Reid,

because he needs help,
so...

Should we be splitting up
like this?

Come on.

Fair enough.
I'll be back.

Yeah,
I'm sure you will.

-Come on, tiger.
-Okay.

Good night.

Reid?

Huh?

Shit.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.

Shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit.

Shit, shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

Hey, hey, hey!

Let's not go outside.
Come on, come on, come on.

Have a snack.
Have a snack.

Maybe some tea.
We'll just figure this out.

-I don't want a snack.
-Okay. All right. Okay.

I had pretzels.

Carly, Carly,
what are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

I got home early to
surprise you.

-Surprise!
-Yeah, I know. Super-surprised.

-Why is Harriet's car out front?
-Yeah, okay, okay.

-Yeah, yeah.
-And who's the other car?

Good questions.
Good questions. Yeah.

-And why is the power off?
-Well, well, well...

And whose bag is this?

Reid, what the hell
is going on?

-Need police, okay?
-The police?!

-Yes.
-Aah!

Who the hell is that?!

-Oh. That, that's just a client.
-A client?

Yes. Yes.

-Reid, what is going on here?
-Where's your phone?

-Where's your phone?
-It's in my bag.

I put it in my bag
before I got out of the car.

Why would you do that?!

Because I didn't know I was
walking into a home invasion!

Okay. We got to be prepared
for these things.

Why would I prepared
for a home invasion?!

I don't know.
These are the kind of things

that happen when
you least expect them. Okay?

What is going on?!

They don't plan these in
advance.

-It's not like "Home Alone."
-Reid.

Hold on to your butts.

You got this, girl.

That's got to be.
Hang on. Hang on. Okay.

I'm not going out there
with a crazy lady.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

You need a weapon.
A knife.

There's a knife by sink.
Go by. Go get it.

-A knife?
-Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Just use your feels, baby.
Use your feels.

Okay, watch your cute-cutes.
Watch 'em!

Watch your cute-cutes. No.
Don't cut them. Don't cut them.

Good. Yes. Do you hear?
Do you see it?

Do you feel it? Where is it?
You got it? You got it?

Good. Let's go outside.
Come on.

Come on.

Oh.

Hey!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Sage. Sage. Sage. Sage.

-Don't.
-Sage, Sage. Sage, Sage.

Sage, Sage.
Come on now. 6 feet.

Right? Wear the mask.
Wear the mask.

I'll admit this has escalated
just a little bit.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
Escalated.

That's kind of putting it
mildly, I would say.

All right. So it's blown through
the fucking roof.

-Whatever.
-Reid, who is this?

Oh, you wouldn't know who I am,
sweetie.

What do you want?

Oh, nothing you can give me.

Sage, let her go.
Okay?

Just let her go.
Let her go, Sage.

-Come on.
-Oh, Reid.

I think you know what needs
to happen now, yeah?

Don't do this.

Come on.
Come on now.

Why don't you tell her
about us, honey?

Reid.

Okay, Reid, I'll tell her.

You've been gone a long time,
sweetie.

He and I,
well, you might say...

we broke quarantine.

Oh, come on now, sweetie.

Sage. Look, we're done, okay?
We're over.

We're through.
It was a mistake.

It was a terrible,
terrible mistake, okay?

Carly, Carly,
it was a terrible mistake.

Oh, my God, guys.

I'm coming.
I'm coming. I'm coming.

-I'm -- Aah!
-Shush, shush, shush, shush.

Oh, my God. What's going on?
I heard a scream.

-His fiancée is back.
-Oh, my God.

The garage, it leads
to the kitchen, right?

-There's a door in there.
-Oh! Yeah, there's a code.

-There's a code.
-Open the door. Open the door.

-Come on.
-Is this what you want to do?

You talk about me
throwing away my life.

Is this what you want to do
to throw away your life?

You want to do this to her?

'Cause this is gonna end
your life. Okay?

This is it.

This is it, Sage.

You know, the first night
I met him,

there was this perpetual bliss
in the air.

We went home together
that night.

We went home here,
in this house.

And again. And again.

Oh, and again, and
again, and again.

Reid!

-No, no.
-Oh, remember how I kissed you?

Don't listen to her.
Carly, it's okay.

Carly, it's gonna be okay.

You always did like that,
didn't you?

Carly, Carly, Carly.
It's gonna be okay.

Blame it on the COVID
shutdown, Reid, if you want.

It's all right.

That you were bored
and nothing to do.

It's okay.
It's gonna be okay. Carly.

-That's all bullshit.
-It's okay.

-It's gonna be okay.
-Nothing to do.

-Shut up!
-It's gonna be okay.

Shut up!

You and I started this thing
before that thing.

Your sweet fiancée here

wasn't gone two days,

and what do you do?

Aah! Damn it!

Oh, okay.

Go on!

Go fish, bitch!

You dropped
your favorite toys.

Okay? All right?

Give me those.

Oh.

Yeah, stay.
Hey, don't move.

Come on.

Tight as they go, Carly.

Okay.
There you go.

Nice moves, Car-Bar.
O'Shar.

Would someone please tell me
what is going on here?!

-Okay, okay.
-And who are you?

-I'm Lincoln. Good to meet you.
-Oh.

You know what?
It's not the time.

You don't have
to listen to him.

I'm just saying.
We came all the way...

He's probably
a little bit drunk.

I'm real glad
you made it in safe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Super-glad you made it.

-Yeah, the flight was great.
-You came in early.

-What happened?
-I did come in early.

Yeah, exactly.
What happened?

Who is this guy?

You brought a date
to a crime scene?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

-Shh. Okay.
-You're all talking at once.

I cannot hear you.
What happened?

Okay, well, one of us
should just tell the story.

-Okay, Reid.
-What?

This is Lincoln.

He's the love of my life
from seven years ago.

Why none of my relationships
have ever worked out.

-Can we shake now?
-No, we cannot shake.

-Okay.
-Yeah, don't touch his hand.

-This is the guy?
-Yeah, this is him.

-Yeah. And, anyway...
-Okay, we...

...I called him
because I'm back

and I was at a bar
all day drinking.

Why are!?

And he was wigging out,
and I came over --

You guys!

Somebody has to tell me
what's going on here!

Why is there a girl
in my kitchen?!

She's psycho.

I see that.

I don't need you
to tell me that.

Oh, my God.

Then she gets a little wacky.

And I had a little bit
too much to drink.

Yeah, we invented a word for
her, which is "wacko-path."

-Harriet's word, really.
-Well, yeah.

Maybe we should
call the police.

-Guys. Guys.
-What?

That's our luck,
isn't it?

Ohh.

That's great.

-Yep.
-It is great.

She really is gone
this time.

Well, this time.

-Typical Sage.
-Not forever.

Yeah.

She's not coming back
after I threatened her

with a knife,
right?

-No.
-Well...

You did threaten
her with a knife.

I'm so sorry.

It was good
to see you again.

Let's do this again
in another seven years, yeah?

We'll do something
a little different next time.

Maybe go to a amusement park
or something.

I know.
I'm just exhausted.

I thought coming in early
would be a good thing.

-I'm gonna go call the police.
-Yeah. That's a good idea.

You know what?
I'll help you out.

Okay.

All right, so unfortunately
it seems like

we can't get ahold
of her husband.

He was supposed to be
on business in New York.

We contacted the hotel,
and he never checked in.

We sent a unit over to his
residence, and no one answered.

Do you have any idea
where she might be?

No.

That'll top it.
Top of the list.

I couldn't have made that up,
not in my wildest dreams.

Yeah, well, he's
about to get

the biggest ass chewing
known to man.

They gonna make it work?

Probably not.

Did he love her?

Which one?

Either, I guess.

Crazy side hustle?

Nah.

His fiancée?
I don't know.

If I was to give a professional
watering hole opinion,

I'd say
these are hectic times.

People are cooped up.
They don't know what to think.

And as old Norman Bates
used to say,

we all go
a little mad sometimes.

This pandemic, well,
maybe it drove him to it.

Yeah, but they started this
whole thing before the pandemic.

Well, then it kept him busy.

Gave him something to do.

I'll tell you,
it's a dangerous time

to be a lover out there,
kid.

That's
your professional advice?

Ah, Jesus Christ.
What do you want from me?

I'm a bartender.

It's past midnight,
and, yeah,

I'm kind of blowing smoke
out my ass at this point.

You want a doctor's opinion,
talk to Dr. Phil.

All right. All right.
Easy, old man.

Easy.

Hey...

this whole thing
stays between us, right?

Fuck you. What?
You think I'm some kind of rat?

Listen, I ain't never talked
to the cops in my life,

and I ain't gonna start now.

I didn't do that back
in Bensonhurst.

I sure ain't
gonna do it in L.A.

What I'm saying is,
your secret's safe with me.

You shutting down shop yet?

Come on, kid.
Bring her over.

You think
they'll be okay?

I honestly don't know.

Hm.

I just feel really bad
for Carly, you know?

Yeah, I hear you.

-Hey...
-Hmm?

...if we, um,
start this,

should I be worried?

Oh. Come here.

Don't worry.

What about that maniac
on the loose?

-Sage?
-Yeah.

Nah.
Don't worry about her.

But, I mean...

Besides, you could take
her, easy.

-Yes, I could. Yes, I could.
-Yeah, you could.

What if she comes back?

What if the police find her
and she gets a lawyer?

What if she talks
to her husband?

Reid, what are we gonna do?

Don't worry about it, Carly.

We'll be fine.

Where did we go wrong?

I don't know.

Were you happy
when I proposed to you?

I was happier at home.

That's fair.

What do we do now?

Boy, I tell you.

Of all the shit that happened
during this crisis,

I never thought the story
I'd remember most

would be about
some squirrel-bait bitch

hell-bent on trying to keep
an affair alive.

Well, if you're gonna
put it that way,

all I can say is, the things you
go through during quarantine.

Mm.

-That was some shit, all right.
-Mm.

Shit happens.

That it does.

-Shit, it did happen. It does.
-Yes. Yes, it does.

Look, you're back in town,
right?

You ain't got no plans.

You looking for work?

Yeah, I am.

I am.

Come back in
day after tomorrow.

I could use a good
right-hand man.

I'll be here.

Thanks.

♪ I can't live without you ♪

♪ Time doesn't heal all pain ♪

♪ The hurtin' never goes away ♪

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

To an unbelievable night.

It was something.

♪ I've tried hard
to forget you ♪

Ahh!

Well.

"Well" what?

What's first?

Oh, I don't care
what's first.

I don't care
what's second.

I don't care
what's 3rd, 4th, 18th, 19th.

As long as it's us.

Like it should have been
the whole time.

But, instead, you know,
I made us not us.

Shh, shh, shh.

Listen, mister.

You're my knight
in shining armor,

and don't you
ever forget it.

-Okay, Katharine Hepburn.
-You know you love it.

Didn't know
you were gonna recite

-another cheesy movie quote.
-You know you love it.

-Come on. What about this here?
-What?

Oh, yeah.
I think it's time.

Time to bring them
together. Right?

-It's been a long time.
-Oh. Oh.

Oh, you got it?
You got it in straight?

Whoo!
You know who'd be proud?

-No.
-Carter.

Yeah. Well, anyway...

-We'll fix it later.
-Yeah, we'll fix it later.

I got some tape,
so that'll be good.

Good. All right.

Well, what do you say?

Another fun night
at the Palisades?

Let's drive out there.

I'm ready for some alone moments
with you.

♪ The hurtin' never goes away ♪

♪ Your memories won't fade ♪

♪ I've tried hard
to forget you ♪

♪ To push it all aside ♪

♪ But no matter it is I do ♪

♪ I can't shake you off
my mind ♪

♪ I'll hang up the phone ♪

♪ Come and get you
then and there ♪

♪ And we can just start over ♪

♪ Just tell me when and where ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't live
without you ♪

♪ Time doesn't heal all pain ♪

♪ The hurtin' never goes away ♪

♪ Your memories won't fade ♪

Good to be home.

Okay. I want you early tomorrow.
I'm expecting a delivery.

-Right?
-I'll be here early.

-Okay? Okay.
-I'll be here for the delivery.

I got this, all right?
Don't worry.

We're gonna try to find
an open restaurant.

They close early
'cause of COVID.

Yeah, yeah.
We got to get going.

-Fly, lovebirds, fly.
-And it's always

-so wonderful to see you, so...
-Of course, sweetheart.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Lincoln!

Hello, daddy.

Hello, sweetheart.

Hey.

Where's your mask?

Oh, what's wrong with you, man?!

What did you do?
What did you do?

Why? Why?
Why would you do that?

What was the point of that?
I'd like to just...

Hey.

Where's your mask?

Where's your mask?