Love in Store (2020) - full transcript

RIP-FIXES-SYNC
by VaVooM

Welcome to
shopping from home channel.

Hi, Terrie.

Hey, Kate.
How's it going?

Great. This is
Terrie Carpenter, everybody.

Hi!

Are you guys gonna
come visit me on set?

We're kicking off
the holiday segment

with "Santa's Claus-et".

We'll be there.

- Yeah. Great. Bye!
- Talk to you later.



-Terrie, hi.
- Hi!

Hi, I'm Hillary,
the new production assistant.

Nice to meet you, Hillary.

First day jitters?

- Yeah.
- It's okay.

I can remember my first day.
I started out as a P.A., too.

- Really?
- Yeah. Yeah.

It was 10 years ago.
I was a total nervous wreck.

Well, then you know how I feel.

Although I'm having
a hard time believing

that you could ever be a wreck.

Oh, no...

You're Terrie Carpenter.
You're, like, amazing.

Thank you!



I know this isn't
very professional,

but I watched all your segments,
you're my favorite host.

Really?

Well! Thank you.

Then you're my favorite P.A.

Just don't
tell the others, okay?

I'm actually hoping to one day
become a host.

Really?

Well, I would be happy
to show you the ropes.

- Really?
- Absolutely.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Okay, well, I'll leave you
to get your hair done.

- Okay.
- I'll see you later.

- Hey, Terrie!
- Hey.

- How are you doing today?
- Good, how are you doing?

Great!

...on in five,
four, three, two...

You know, they say patience
is the secret to catching fish,

but I'm telling you,

this fishing rod is the secret.

It's strong and it's durable.

It has the backbone
necessary for the big fish,

but the sensitivity
to detect the tiniest nibble.

David and I just went fishing
with these rods last weekend.

Yeah. Just us, some brews,

and the sun on our backs
as we grilled a fresh catch.

This fishing rod

gives you a day to remember.

But, gentlemen,

maybe you're saying,

"I really shouldn't buy that".

Well, remember
there are no "shoulds".

Don't vacuum
your way through life.

As I always like to say...

What is it you plan to do

with your one wild
and precious life?

I know, right?

"Don't vacuum
your way through life"?

What does that even mean?

And his audience is "gentleman"?

What?

Because, what, women would never
want to buy a fishing rod?

Not to mention he's stealing
his catchphrase

from a Mary Oliver poem.

Well, not to add fuel
to your fire,

but word behind the scene
is that David asked Sharyn

if he could swap for
your "total gym fit" segment.

What?
That's a top-selling item.

I...

It's okay.
I'll talk to Sharyn.

Okay. You're good to go.

Great. Thank you.

- You're on in 10.
- Okay.

And you and Noah
are still having dinner

with me and Jordan tonight?

Yes, absolutely.
We can't wait.

- Okay.
- Thanks.

Hey, Frank.

Hey.

Terrie, looking beautiful.

Thank you, David.

You must want something.

And smart as ever.

I was hoping
you'd switch with me,

your "total gym fit" segment

for my "tufted storage bench"
slot.

You know, that way, it's
more geared towards our demos.

Right. Right.

Are you implying that
my predominantly female demo

doesn't want gym equipment?

Or that women might not want
a fishing rod?

I mean...

What?

I mean, is it so wrong to say

that there might be differences
between men and women?

Oh, really?
Like what?

Like, when a woman
asks that question,

it's a trap.

Terrie?

Yeah?

You are almost on.

Thanks, Hillary.

Have you met David Crabtree?

Hey.

And, Frank,
if you ever need to find David,

he will be here eating all of
the buttered popcorn jellybeans

out of the candy dish.

Well, it's not my fault
we have the same favorite candy.

But you know what?
Don't you mind Terrie.

She's just trying her hardest
not to succumb to my charms.

What I'm trying to do
is keep my scheduled segments.

I know you already talked
to Sharyn about the Gymfit.

Yes, I did,

but that's only because I know
what's right for our demos.

They like what I pick.

David here is very humble.

The humblest.

Also, there is
an all-hands-on-deck

staff meeting at noon.

Maybe Sharyn's announcing
her retirement.

Oh, no.

Sharyn's not retiring.

She built this company,
she is this company.

I'm sure you know,

but Sharyn St. Clair
is the top-selling host

and she's pretty much
the big boss around here.

I know Sharyn.

I've watched her segments
my whole life.

That's why
I wanted to work here.

Really? Me too.

See? I knew
you were my favorite P.A.

Savannah, how are you feeling?

My back hurts.

- My feet hurt.
- Yeah.

I'm going to request
a segment on massage chairs.

- Please.
- I'm sorry.

I already booked that segment
for Frank and I,

but maybe we could trade.

Let's get to set.

Today, we kick off
"Santa's Claus-et"

by celebrating
everything Christmas,

presented by Balsam Hill.

Beautifully realistic
Christmas trees

inspired by nature,

with exclusive
"true needle foliage"

that replicates nature's design.

And with over
50 unique tree species

in their collection,

there's a tree for everyone.

And the setup
is so quick and easy.

Nothing says "Christmas"
like that perfect tree.

Thank you, everyone,
for being here.

Now, I know
there are rumors floating

about my retirement,

so I want
to put those rumors to rest...

Because it's true.

- Now, don't panic.
- What?

Oh, no, it'll be okay.

I'll still come visit.

Look, you guys,
I've been here 30 years.

You're like a family.

You couldn't get rid of me
if you tried.

But, shh! Don't tell...

I am getting older,

and I got grandbabies

and I want to spend
some time with them.

I got other things I want to do.

So, along with the board,

I'll be starting the search

for the host
who will replace me,

in my prime-time slot,
my "monthly pick",

and as the captain of the ship.

Sharyn, I'm so sad
you're leaving.

Sharyn, you can't leave.

You are this company.

If you have a second to talk,
I would...

Terrie, if you're about
to pitch yourself to me

as my replacement,

just save it for set,

because...

You're already in the running!

You know I love you
on air and off.

David...

You too.

Now, I got to go
to this little press conference,

for my song and dance,

but we'll talk some more, soon.

Knock 'em dead, Sharyn.

Thanks, Sharyn.

I hope it won't be
too awkward for you

when I replace Sharyn
as your boss.

You really are here
just to annoy me, aren't you?

Yeah.

And for the donuts.

You...

This is my dream.

Right? This is my exact
childhood dream.

I used to walk by
the SHC studios

on my way to school every day

and just imagine
that I'd work there.

No! I did!

This is my chance.

I've been working at SHC
for, what, like, 10 years now?

Yeah.

I don't think anyone knows
or loves the company

as much as I do.

Well, then I'm sure

you're the one
that's gonna get the promotion.

You think so?

I know so.

Anyway.

Were you able
to reschedule your Boston trip

so you could come
to the SHC "meet the hosts"?

It really means a lot.

I know, I know, I know,
but I tried,

and they said there was
nothing they could do.

I'm really sorry.

- Hi!
- Hi.

- Noah.
- Hi, you guys.

Yeah, we actually have
some big news...

Yeah.
Really?

- We're engaged.
- What?

Wait!

When did this happen?
What happened?

Tell me everything.

It was so romantic.

When Jordan brought Goldie over
for our morning walk,

there was a ring
tied to the collar.

It was so cute.

- Nice.
- Wait, wait.

Hold on.

You've been engaged
for an entire day

and you didn't tell me?

Now, to be fair,
I made Emmy promise

not to tell anybody,

especially you two,
until we got here in person,

so that's kind of my fault.

Okay, okay.

Congratulations.

Now, on to pressing news,

when are you
gonna pop the question?

No pressure.

You two are such a great couple.

Come on.

What are you guys doing?

You look like bugs.

I'm helping
uncle David refinish his canoe.

I thought we agreed
to the rule no power tools?

You know,
rules are meant to be broken.

Rules, yes.
Bones, no.

And you're supposed
to be doing your homework.

This is for... shop class.

And we did
my science homework.

Uncle David taught me

the world was made
out of protons, neutrons,

and mo...

Next time, I'm hiring
you both a sitter.

Come on, we've got to get home.
Start dinner.

Later, bud!

You seem to be in
particularly good spirits today.

I found out there might be

a big promotion heading my way.

- Congratulations.
- Thanks.

See ya, uncle David.

I can't believe
they're getting married.

I know!

They're a great couple,

they really are,
they're great together...

It's just that they've only
been together for...

What, a year?

I mean,
we've been together for...

Like, almost two years.

Do you think...

Should we maybe be
thinking about getting married?

I mean, we like the same things,
and we want the same things,

you know?

I mean, look, I know

marriage is...
It's a big step,

but it is the next step.

It is, that's true,
you're right.

But...

I just don't...
I don't think I'm there yet.

Okay.

Yeah.

Do you want to watch something?

I should...

I should probably rewatch
some of today's segments.

Well, with
the promotion coming up,

I want to be
extra on top of everything.

Yeah, but then
you're gonna fall asleep

and then I'm gonna end up

watching SHC by myself
for an hour.

Crazy idea,

you could choose to, you know,
change the channel.

You know I can't do that.

Once I start something,
I gotta finish it.

I promise, I won't fall asleep.

This isn't just a fishing rod...

This is the life you dream of,

dangling on the end of a hook.

Maybe your day-to-day
has gone rote.

Maybe it feels like a chore.

Or maybe there's just
something missing.

Whatever it is,

don't settle.

I've asked you before,
but I'll ask you again.

What is it you plan to do

with your one
wild and precious life?

I have to go.

Hey.

I have been calling you
all morning.

Well, my phone was on silent.

Sharyn bumped
your segment up an hour.

You need to be here
A.S.A.P.

Shoot. Okay, I'm coming.

You're needed
in hair and makeup immediately.

Great.

A little non-fat milk, no sugar?

You're so sweet.
Thank you.

No problem.

Also, here's your new product

for your segment.

What happened
to my "total gym fit" segment?

There's been a reshuffling.

David.

It's a reversible umbrella.

You close it inwards,
so the rain doesn't fall on you.

And it has a tracking device
that syncs to your phone

so you won't lose it
or forget your umbrella.

Really?

But maybe you don't
want to open that inside?

It's bad luck.

It's okay.
I'm not superstitious.

Okay. You're good to go.

- Okay. Great. Thank you.
- No worries.

Terrie, they need you on set.

These stationary bikes

give you
a great cardiovascular workout,

but only leave a small footprint
in your home,

all for an affordable price.

Frank, how you doing
back there, buddy?

I can hear you puffing.

I'm doing good, David.

I love this bike.

It's a family fitness machine.

- Terrie...
- Is everything okay?

It's Savannah.
She's fine.

The baby's fine,

but her blood pressure
spiked again last night

and she's been put on bed rest
until delivery.

- I'm glad she's okay.
- Yeah.

I'll... I'll go visit her
after work.

Okay.

Who's gonna host with me?

That's what we're trying
to figure out now,

because you're on next.

Do you know what,
I can just do it myself.

No, no, no.
You need an assist.

Co-hosts always do better.

Yeah, but I'm on right now.
I mean, who else is there?

I could do it.

That's really nice.

I just, I don't know
that that fits the segment.

Why?
Men need umbrellas.

No, no.

This... this is a good idea.

David's already prepped,

and we need two hosts
on the stage right now, so...

Let's do it!

Hey, don't open that indoors.

Bad luck.

Well, it seems my luck

has already taken
a turn for the worse.

Besides, worm's bad luck
is bird's good fortune.

Terrie, do you

know how to hook up your phone
for the tracking demo?

Yeah, you just
plug it in, right?

Yes. Then we're on in 10...

Okay, so I know
you're not prepared,

but just follow my lead.

We'll start with the specs
and then...

Okay, I'm gonna stop you there.

'Cause I'm bored.

And what a way to sell
some umbrellas.

Three, two, one...

We're on.

I'm Terrie Carpenter.

And I'm David Crabtree.

And we're here to bring you

the cutting edge
in umbrella technology.

Terrie said it...

The cutting edge!

This is a reversible umbrella!

Because how many times

have you stayed clear
from the rain

only to get soaked
when you open your umbrella?

That's the worst!

I can think of worse things.

Can you?

But wait! There's more!

This umbrella
has a tracking device

that syncs to your phone

so you never have to lose
or forget it somewhere again.

Because let's be honest,

we're all constantly
losing our umbrellas,

and then
we have to replace them.

But this simple tracking device
solves that problem.

Let's show our viewers
how the app works.

Let's!

So I have the app here,

and I'm just gonna go ahead
and plug this into our phone.

Need a hand over there, Terrie?

Do you want me to take over?

Well, I was just reminded

why you always
need a great umbrella.

'Cause you never know

when you're gonna
get caught in a storm. Ha!

How could you break up with me
by text?

I know.

I'm sorry, but...

Not to mention
how close you came

to breaking up with me on-air.

You weren't answering your calls

and I got into this tailspin.

I wish I could take it all back.

Yeah, I wish you could, too.

I need you
for the "meet the hosts" promo.

Yeah, just give me a sec.

- Okay.
- Thanks.

How are you doing?

Well, I'm still trying
to get over

the 15 seconds of dead air.

It was 10 seconds, tops.

Yes, but I still broke
the cardinal rule...

No dead air.

It'll be okay.

And when I asked you
how you were doing,

I meant about Noah.

I just, I thought we had
a future together.

I thought
we were gonna get married

and build a life.

Maybe we were settling.

But what's so wrong with that?

You don't have to do

the "meet the hosts" promo
if you don't want to.

I want to go.

I love my fans.

I'm sure they want to meet
the host that froze on live air.

And with everything
that happened,

I really need the good exposure
right now,

especially if
I'm vying for Sharyn status.

Very good.

Excellent!

Excellent.

Wait, do you think
what just happened

takes me out of the running?

No. No! Of course not.

But Sharyn did ask
to meet you at the cafe

once you're done here.

I'm not getting fired, am I?

Okay, Terrie?

You're up.

- Hi!
- Hi.

You're just gonna be over there
by the chair, please.

- Okay, great.
- Thank you.

Wonderful.

Okay, here we go.
All right.

How are you doing?

Great. How are you?

Good. Yeah.

Cookie?

No, thank you.

Sorry to hear
about the break-up.

Thanks.

I guess maybe you shouldn't have

opened up that umbrella
inside, huh?

Too soon?

Yeah.

Well, as always,
it's been a pleasure,

but I have to go.

Me too.

Where are you going?

I have a meeting with Sharyn.

I have a meeting with Sharyn.

Then I guess
we have a meeting with Sharyn.

Well, thank you two
for meeting me here.

Terrie,

I heard about Noah's texts.

You did?

I know this is
a hard time for you.

I'll be okay.

Well, of course!
You'll be better than okay!

Even with all that dead air,

you handled it so well,
I salute you.

We all know there'd have been
far more theatrics

if that had've been me.

Or me.

Now, I want to talk to you

about the segment
you just co-hosted.

I've been looking
over your numbers and,

I saw something amazing...

Almost double viewership!

You know, before the hiccup.

That's great!

Yes, it is.

We all know that you both
have your own key demos...

But I also know that you both

want to be considered
as my replacement...

And to do that,

you need to broaden
your viewership.

Terrie, Savannah's gonna be gone
for about six months

and you're gonna need
a new co-host.

You want me to host with David?

For about three weeks,

until the "monthly pick",

where we will announce
to our viewers

who's replacing me.

Yes!

Gotta take this.
Excuse me.

No. We can't do this.

Why not?

Because I can't work with you
and your whole gimmick.

"I'm not just a man...

I'm also a salesman".

I like to think of that gimmick
as my personality.

And you're not exactly
baring your soul

to your audiences either.

Don't think I'm so keen
to be partnering up

with you and your gimmick.

Oh, I have a "gimmick"?

"I'm Terrie and I'm perfect.

And for 10 easy payments
of $9.99,

you too can be perfect, too!"

Well, David, I look forward
to seeing you try.

See? This is good!

We are good.
We've got good banter.

Even if we do,

can you take it seriously?

Good news.
I don't have to.

Because you're gonna take it
seriously enough

for the both of us.

All right, you know what?

I'm gonna agree to this,

but only because,
"what would Sharyn do?"

Sharyn would co-host
with anyone,

no matter the challenge.

Even you.

I'm getting a good vibe here.

Okay, so...
What do you say?

We'd love to.

Couldn't be happier.

Start with the Ponzu Sauce,

get in there...

Add chipotle rub...

Then we sear it on the stove

and then pop it on the grill.

Hello?

Hey! We're in the kitchen.

Nice, buddy.

- Hey, guys.
- Hi.

Hey.

Uncle David is teaching me
how to make the perfect steak.

Yeah! Frank and the guys
are coming over.

We're gonna watch the game
and argue around the grill.

Can I stay
at uncle David's tonight?

No, honey.
We got to get home.

Sorry, bud.

But I promise you
that when you get older,

we'll spend a lot of time
arguing around grills.

Uncle of the year, right here.

Hey, you guys are

coming to the "meet the hosts"
event, right?

Wouldn't miss it.

Come on, Guy.

- Bye, uncle David.
- Hey, guys.

- Hi!
- How's it going?

Good.
What's up, man?

Hi, David.
My name is Ryan Costa

and I have a proposal
I want to discuss with you,

if you could
give me a call back.

Okay...

Cajun-seaweed
or wasabi-vinegar?

What are these?

It's a new product
we're gonna be selling.

David loves them
and sold Sharyn on the idea.

Well, if David loves them,

then maybe eating these will
give you some insight into him.

Overbearing and unpalatable.

That's David.

I actually like them.

Yeah, well, you actually
like David.

And I think you could as well.

I just need to get through
these next three weeks.

I mean,
I'm this close to my dream

and now I have

this giant boulder
named David Crabtree

placed in my way.

Don't forget,
it's his dream, too.

And...

And how are you feeling
about Noah?

I mean, I'm... I'm hurt.

You know, and disappointed.

And with
everyone at work knowing...

I'm...

A little embarrassed.

Enough about that!

Let's talk about your wedding.

Come meet the hosts...
Including me...

This Saturday,
at our studio complex.

There will be fun, food, fans,

live demos, and segments.

See you there.

That good?

Great.

We just got assigned the item
for our segment...

This oven.

Great.

Let's grab a coffee and go over
the product specifications.

Is that how
you prepare for segments?

By educating myself
on the product?

Generally. Yes, why?
How do you prepare?

See, I like
to observe the shopper

in their natural habitat.

Okay, but how is this
preparing us, exactly?

We should be reading
the manufacturer's instructions.

You mean
the manufacturer's opinion?

Okay, look, David,

I know that everything
is a joke to you.

No, you just think
everything's a joke to me.

And that replacing Sharyn
seems like a fun next step,

but I've been working
my entire life for this.

It's my dream,

and after what happened with
the dead air and everything,

I really need this,

so I need you
to take it seriously, okay?

Okay. "Serious".

An escape room.

What?

You know that SHC is actually
in the works with this company

to sell an "escape room"
party kit?

Yeah, I know,
I want that segment.

Well, then we should go in
and do it.

We should be preparing
for our segment.

Yeah, yeah.
This is preparing.

We are familiarizing ourselves
with a future client

while learning to problem-solve
and work together.

Come on, just do this for me,
and then we'll do your thing.

Okay, by "my thing", you mean
actually being prepared?

Sure.

Okay, fine.

- Oh, yeah!
- Fine.

This is really cool.

You've done one of these before?

Yeah, but never
an Egyptian pyramid.

So the idea is
just to get out, right?

I was just trying.

They make it harder than that.

You have to go through
a bunch of puzzles first.

Whatcha got?

It's a riddle.

"What has a head and a tail,
but no legs?"

A snake?

Yeah, could be a snake.

Like this?

Oh, David.

No legs.

Yes. Heads, tails, a coin...
I was gonna say that.

Looks like a code.

Bowl...

Beetle.

Bowl. Beetle.

Are you sure you've never
done one of these before?

Wait? There's another room?

Yeah. Ladies first.

This isn't the exit?

How long is this gonna take?

Loosen up a little bit.

Enjoy yourself.
Don't worry.

No one's watching.

What? What is that
supposed to mean?

It must get tiring
being so focused on appearances.

Excuse me?

It just seems that you want

everything in your life
to look like it's perfect.

Well, maybe things are
pretty perfect.

What about Noah?

Okay, things weren't perfect
with Noah,

but they were good.

How does a good relationship
end in a text message?

I mean,

all I'm saying is that maybe
what you really liked

was the idea of Noah.

The perfect relationship,
you know?

Well, as always,

thank you
for your unsolicited opinion.

I will take it with
a grain of prehistoric sand.

You're calling me a caveman?

Bet you this opens.

Hold this?

I don't think brute strength
is gonna help you here.

Look, the same symbol is here
on your scroll.

I think it's a door
with a foot...

So that's... "Enter"...

And exit.

And the same symbol is here,

with four circles.

Four circles!

Hey.
So, here's a dog,

and a ring.

So, "d" and "r".

So that's "door",
it has to be "door".

How are you doing this?

So we just need two "o" s.

Obelisk!

And...

Osiris.

Osiris, Egyptian god.

Have you ever been
on a gameshow?

Not much of an escape room.

Oh, David...

Every room I'm in with you
is an escape room.

How did you do that?

The trick is to figure out
what's stopping you,

and work backwards.

It's pretty simple.

You ready?

Seeing as we didn't rehearse?
No.

The best segments
are off the cuff.

No, the best segments

are the ones
where the hosts are prepared,

where we can actually educate
the viewer on the product.

The viewers
don't want to be educated,

they want to be excited.

Words tell, but emotions sell.

Okay.

It's convection, yes...

But wait, there's more,

it's also a toaster,
roaster, air-fryer.

Look at that crispy bacon.

- It's hot.
- That is hot.

Maybe you live in a small space

or maybe you just need
a second oven.

But, Terrie,
my favorite part here

is the speed.

All right, you know, if I come
home from a long day of work,

I have my sister
and nephew over,

I just want to cook
a quick meal.

You cook?

Imagine that.

See, and a quicker cook time

means less time
spent over the stove

and more time
with my loved ones,

and isn't that
what it's all about?

I'm still trying to wrap
my head around the fact

that you cook.

Well, you'll have
to come by some time.

What about you, Terrie,
do you cook?

No, actually, I'm kind of
a mess in the kitchen.

Really?

So the great Terrie Carpenter
isn't perfect?

Far from it, David.

Let's go ahead
and take a caller.

Cheese!

Hi, Terrie.

- Hi!
- I'm Al.

Hi, Al.
Nice to meet you.

My wife couldn't be here,
but she's a big fan

and asked if we could
have a photo together.

Yeah, of course.

Will you,
sign one of those for me?

Of course.
Who should I make it out to?

"Suzan" with a "z".

Just wanted to say

how happy I am
you're hosting with David.

He's great!

He has me buying things
I never thought I'd want,

but I love.

And I'm loving
you paired with Terrie.

She's my favorite.

Really?

Of course!

She's honest and bright,
and always speaks her mind,

and she makes me
want to do the same.

She's inspiring.

I know it's a bit silly,
but when I see David on the air,

it's like having a friend
over to visit.

Uncle David, you're famous!

No...

Well, maybe a little.

It's just nice
to see you so happy.

To see you loving your job,
loving your life.

I remember
when that wasn't the case.

Terrie...

Emmy, this is my sister, Linda,
and my nephew, Eric.

Hey! I know you.

You're famous, too.

No! No.

But I do like
to pretend I am sometimes.

You're not pretending.

And I think it's cool

that all these people came
to see you guys,

to connect with you.

Well, when you put it like that,

it is really cool.

And a little terrifying.

What do you mean?

Nothing.

No, I think it's terrifying,
too, sometimes.

I mean, it's a lot of pressure

to try to be the person
your fans think you are

or want you to be.

Yeah.

Well, uncle David and Terrie,
you need to hit the stage,

so how about we go check out
the cotton candy machine,

then hit the stage,
and watch the segment after?

Okay, are you ready
for our spot?

I am about to be.

You're gonna read the brochure?

Well, you asked me
to be prepared.

I meant more than a minute
before we go on stage.

You should've specified.

But you did the escape room,

so I figured, you know what,
this is the least I could do.

You're becoming
a real team player.

Terrie?

- Could I get a photo?
- Of course!

Want me to take it?

Why don't you get in?

- Okay?
- Yeah.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome!

Your fans really love you.

So do yours.

Really?

I mean,
in spite of my whole "gimmick"?

Well, I think
they actually believe

that that gimmick
is part of your personality.

But I suspect

that you're a little deeper
than you let on.

Terrie Carpenter...

Did you just
pay me a compliment?

Maybe. A little compliment.

Who are you?

Ladies and gentlemen...

The man
who needs no introduction,

who, every time you see him
on TV

feels like a friend
come to visit...

David Crabtree.

All right, David!

And a very big round of applause

for the ever-inspiring
Terrie Carpenter.

All right, folks, today,

we have something truly special.

It is an exclusive offer
available only

for our meets the hosts guests
here today.

What's better
than the perfect gift?

The perfect gift you can
share with others...

I'm talkin' a trip.

We have a one-week,
all-inclusive vacation to Maui.

Yes, David!

Well, it sounds to me like
David has finally figured out

what he wants to do

with his "one
wild and precious life".

I have,
and it is retire in Maui,

but first, vacation in Maui.

Terrie, have you ever
been to Maui?

Actually, I have!

I went once with, a friend.

It was gorgeous.

It was, really, the most
romantic place I've ever been.

Sounds like
the trip of a lifetime.

It was.

It was... it was perfect.

I posted pictures
on social media...

It looked...
It looked perfect.

I've always wanted
to go back, though.

Well, all right.
Any questions?

Yes, ma'am?

Not related
to the Hawaii package,

but just dying to know,

are you two an item?

Definitely not.

Of course not!

David is not an item
with anyone.

David... he stays in shape
by running from commitment.

And even if I didn't,

I would never quite be
perfect enough for Terrie.

Oh, well...

Loved everything
about you two out there.

You two are the buzz,

you're the focal point
of "meet the hosts".

And I'm sure you've seen
your segments numbers lately.

Viewership is up, sales are up.

You two earned
the "monthly pick".

We're... hosting
the "monthly pick"?

Together?

Yes!

You're gold.

You're getting the attention.

I met with the board

and we have narrowed down
our candidates

to the top two.

You two.

Well, that's... that's great!

Yeah. Yes.

You'll be co-hosting together

for the next two weeks
through the "monthly pick",

where we'll be announcing
my replacement.

Isn't that exciting?

Yeah.

Yes!

Excuse me.

Great.

- So...
- Great.

It's just you and me.

Yeah.

Working together while competing
for the same promotion.

Congratulations?

Yeah.

It's only ten days
until the "monthly pick",

so we need to figure out
what we're gonna sell

immediately.

This is a crucial decision.

I mean, not only
is the "monthly pick"

the super bowl of segments...

It's, you know,
quadruple the viewership,

quadruple the sales...

And it's our audition
for Sharyn's spot,

so, you know, what we pick

shows not only who we are
as hosts,

but who we are as people,

so it has to be something,
you know, memorable,

something perfect.

Or maybe just something cool.

- No, it can't just be "cool".
- How about this?

The "knife champ".

It cuts pennies.

Do you have a lot of pennies
that need cutting?

Yeah.

Well, what about this olive oil?

This is supposed to be
the best olive oil.

Are you picking up
on the floral notes?

Maybe some nuttiness?

I'm definitely
picking up on some nuttiness.

Yeah.

All right, I have an idea.

Why don't you meet me
at Riverside Park in 30 minutes?

Is this gonna be
more of your preparation?

Because I...

I know, you're about to say,
"we need to be sensible".

Wah-wa-wah-wa-wah.

Wah-wa-wa... what is that?
That's how I sound to you?

Like a sock puppet?

No, no, you sound like

one of the grown-ups
from Charlie Brown.

Riverside Park.

30 minutes.

- Hey!
- Hi.

So, I'm thinking that,
like the escape room,

we can't sell a product
we haven't actually tried.

So, a backpack?

Well, not just a backpack,

but adventure gear

meets sophisticated,
minimalist design.

Perfect to wear while riding...

A tandem bike?

Believe me, it is
a lot more fun than it looks.

You're right,
this is more fun than it looks.

I must look a mess.

You? Never.

All right,
what are we doing now?

Next...

The next-generation
picnic blanket.

Lightweight,
but with a waterproof underside.

But wait!

There's more... don't forget
this charming pattern, David.

How could I ever, Terrie?

Or, perhaps...

A cheese assortment,

featuring mouth-watering flavors
that pair perfectly

with a fig jam or imported ham.

You know, we could
bundle it all up

into a "date package".

Not like a date.
Like a...

Obligatory
work-activity package.

Yeah, yeah, I can see it now.

"Purchase our terribly-named

obligatory
work-activity package".

Yeah, there's a market for that.

Right.

Did you always know
this was what you wanted to do?

Always.

I'd go to my grandma's house,

and SHC would be on,

and we would have tea parties

with her SHC-bought tea set

while watching
"Sharyn's Silver Show"

or "Southwestern Style".

My grandma would get the SHC
Christmas card every year,

signed by Sharyn.

I loved that card.

Sharyn would be smiling
on the front,

not a hair out of place.

That sounds like
a nice childhood.

Yeah, it was.

I mean, it wasn't all roses.

My, parents got divorced
when I was young

and there was a lot of

shuttling my brother and me
back and forth,

you know, a lot of moving,
a lot of arguing.

I was...
I was incredibly shy.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You?

Oh, yeah.

I think that's why
I looked up to Sharyn so much.

You know, she just seemed
like she could...

Befriend anyone,

you know, connect with anyone,
and I...

I just,
I wanted to be like that.

I'd watch SHC
with these perfect houses

and perfect hosts,

and it was just so different
from what I had...

I just wanted that perfect life.

But it's just actors on a set.

Yeah, I know,
but I still wanted it.

I mean, I still want it.

I wonder if you let go
of wanting it,

you might find
that you already have it.

That's a surprisingly
profound statement.

Yeah?

Well, I give
surprisingly good advice,

considering I have no idea
what I'm talking about.

So what about you?

Childhood dreams, fears?

The usual stuff.

You know, learning to make fire,

fighting woolly mammoths...

You know, on account of
being a caveman and all.

I might have been wrong.

You're not a caveman.

But you are
very good at deflecting.

So did we find something
for our "monthly pick"?

No. I'm not quite sold yet.

- Nothing seems...
- Let me guess.

Perfect?

You don't have
an off-switch, do you?

Should we go back
to the warehouse and dig around?

No, we'll have
to do it tomorrow.

I have a meeting to get to.

Okay, I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah.

Hey, David?

This was fun.

Yeah.

David?

Ryan Costa.

Hi. Nice to put a face
to the name.

So, you're with Daintree.

The nation's largest
e-commerce marketplace.

And we're getting even bigger,

which brings me to the purpose
of our meeting.

Daintree is launching
a new division called "live",

featuring live-streamed videos

where hosts talk about,
and sell,

their favorite products.

- Like SHC.
- Only better.

So we're looking
for someone with experience

to be the face of "live".

We're hoping that'll be you.

You'd be the flagship name,

building the concept
from the ground up.

That is...

Quite an honor.

Well, we believe in you.

Tell me more.

Absolutely.

So we do have
a formal offer for you,

but I'll walk you through
what that would entail.

How was the meeting yesterday?

Well, some big news.

Daintree offered me a job

heading up
their new "live" division.

So it would be like SHC,
but I'd be the star.

Congratulations.

Yeah. Thanks.

Yeah, I don't know
if I'm gonna take it, but...

You know, it could be
pretty big for me.

But also you have
that promotion at SHC.

Yeah, and I like it there.

But if I took
the Daintree offer,

then I could go there

and Terrie could
have her promotion.

So...

What are you guys cooking?

Beef bour-gen-non.

Beef bourguignon
for family dinner?

Actually,

I invited a guest
to join us tonight.

I told Terrie I'd cook for her.

Hey!

Hi. I brought you this.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Come on in.

What?

You were expecting something
a little more paleolithic?

Maybe a bonfire?

A bison on the wall
here and there?

Well, clearly, you've evolved.

Yeah.

Come on.

So when's your next segment?

Tomorrow.

We're selling
a wireless speaker.

Yeah.

I was doing
some research earlier today.

Reading
the manufacturer's opinion?

No, I was watching videos

of couples dancing
to music on the speaker.

And there was actually
some really cute clips,

because, after all,
"words tell, but emotions sell".

This is delicious, by the way.

Has David always been
such a good cook?

I'll let you in
on a little secret about David.

Please don't.

David tries so hard

to project this whole
devil-may-care bachelor facade,

but underneath it all,
he's a real softie.

And he's been
the best brother to me

and uncle to Eric.

Plus, uncle David's
not just my uncle,

he's also my best friend.

Yeah.

Well, you're really lucky

to have
such a great best friend.

I know.

And you're so lucky to have
such a great co-host.

I think we're both pretty lucky.

What? What's that smile?

Seems like you and Terrie
have a little flirtation.

We just play it up
for the cameras a bit.

And so who are you
doing it for off-air?

All right, yeah, maybe
there's a little flirtation.

Well, there's
nothing wrong with that.

Seems like you guys
are having fun together.

Yeah. It's always fun
in the beginning.

All right.

Goodnight, uncle David.

Yeah, goodnight, bud.

Don't worry about it.

I'm not worried about it.

All right, then,
let me give you a hand.

Thanks.

You seem to have
a really great relationship

with your nephew.

Yeah, I get to take care of him

a couple days a week
after school.

We have fun.

And how did you learn
how to cook?

Self-taught.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You know, I realize I actually
don't know very much about you.

How did you end up
at the channel?

Well, before SHC,
I was in real estate.

I owned an agency.

Really?

Yeah. I always had
a knack for selling things,

and never really knew
what I wanted to do,

so becoming a real estate agent
made sense.

And then I represented a client,
who was a producer at SHC,

and she recommended I come in
for an audition and...

Voila.

And you were
your charming self, of course.

Well, it was,

it was a little more
complicated than that.

When I met this producer,

I was running the agency
with my fiancée.

By all accounts,
it looked perfect,

but it just didn't feel right.

Instead, it felt like
something I had to do.

You know, like vacuuming.

Why "vacuuming"?

It's just always been the chore
I've hated the most.

You know, it's like you see
the dust building up,

and you know you gotta clean,

and you put it off forever,
and you dread it,

and then you finally
lug the vacuum out and do it,

and the second you're done,
there's dust again.

It just feels like the opposite
of how life should work.

But I thought
there are no "shoulds".

Well, so then what?

My fiancée felt it, too.

We called off the engagement.

I had no idea what to do next.

And then
I remembered the producer.

You found out
what you wanted to do

with your "one wild
and precious life".

Yeah.

I guess I can kind of understand

your aversion to vacuuming.

I should probably
be getting home.

Really? It's still early.

Do you want to watch something?

Okay.

You see anything you like?

We should probably
catch up on SHC...

But there are no "shoulds".

- Right.
- Right.

So... what do you want
to watch?

Rom-com?

Football?
Okay, yeah.

Are you one of those people

who argues
for what you want to watch

and then falls asleep
in 10 minutes?

No.

I'm not.

You are that person.

I knew it!

No, I'm not.

Let me guess,

you're one of those people

who, once you start
watching something,

then you have to finish it,
even though you hate it?

Nope. I have no problem
turning it off.

But you are that person,
I can tell.

We'll be watching
some Rom-com you picked and...

Stop it! I'm not.

All right.
Rom-com it is.

I'm gonna stay awake.

I wasn't sleeping.

No, you were full-on sleeping.

You are that person.

No, I was dozing.

While I was dozing,
I had a really good idea.

So we've been getting along...

And I actually think
we work really well together.

You know, I think
we make each other better.

So I was thinking

that instead of competing
for Sharyn's spot,

we just take the spot together?

So we'd both be Sharyn?

Well, we would
both be ourselves,

co-hosting in Sharyn's spot.

I think it's a great idea.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Well, thanks.
This was really fun.

You're welcome.

- Okay.
- Goodnight.

Goodnight.

I like the idea
of you guys as co-hosts.

There's a lot of heart with you.

There's some...
Something special here,

real chemistry.

But...

SHC will be building a brand
around the two of you, together.

And, yes, right now,

butting heads on the air
means real fireworks,

but what if it doesn't work out?

If, for some reason,
that happens,

I mean, we're adults,
we can figure it out.

Yeah.

Yeah, but what if it gets old?

On-air or...

Off?

It won't.
It won't!

It won't.

I'll talk to the board A.S.A.P.

Great.

- Okay! Great!
- Okay.

Well, that went really well.

I think the board
might actually consider us.

What do you think?

I guess we'll see.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I should probably
get to wardrobe.

Okay.

Are you still good to rehearse
before our segment?

Yeah.

Okay.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Look at this new speaker
we're going to be selling.

Great.

Have you seen David?

Why?

I just need to talk to him.

He's probably outside door "c".

- Hey.
- Hey.

Whatcha doing out here?

Just basking in the sun.

Do you mind if I bask with you?

I'd like that.

You know your catchphrase,

"your one wild
and precious life..."

You know, I found that poem

while I was writing
my wedding vows.

In a way, I think
that's what started it all.

That question
threw me for a loop.

My grandmother loves that poem.

I remember the first time
she read it to me.

It felt like...
A call to action.

To do something big
with my life,

something great.

But I recently went back
and re-read it,

and I realized that...

She's not saying

do something big and great.

All she did
was just go for a walk.

But she was so...

Present in that.

She was really there.

Look, I know that...

You're scared that this is
gonna feel like vacuuming,

and I get it.

And I can't guarantee you
that it won't.

But I think we should try.

All right, so,
you wanna do the intro,

and then I'll launch
into product specs?

"This is
an indoor/outdoor speaker..."

Or, or...

You could do the intro

and I could launch
into the product specs.

In order to do that,

you would've had to have read...

The instruction manual?

Surprise!

Okay. So then
we'll cue the music,

and, I'll go over
the features and the app...

What if, instead of talking,

we just dance?

You wanna just dance?

And, you know,

we talk about
how, with this speaker,

our viewers can turn any moment
into a spontaneous moment.

Okay, so, so we dance.

Yeah.

Cue the music.

Are you classically trained?

18 years of ballet.
Can you tell?

So, something like that?

Yeah.

David.

You have a visitor.

Who?

Noah.

I wanted to talk to you
about Terrie.

Okay.

See...

I want her back

and I was wondering
if you could help me.

Do you think Terrie wants that?

I mean, you...

You really hurt her, Noah.

I know.

I... I made a mistake.

See, the night before
I sent all those texts,

she brought up marriage,

and I got scared,

I didn't know what I wanted,

but I've had a chance
to think about it,

and I miss her.

Terrie and I, we just...

We make sense,

so I was hoping
that you could help me.

Hi. Sharon needs you
in the conference room.

One minute.

What'd you have in mind?

Terrie. David.

Just wanted to check in.

At our last meeting,

I tried not to pry...

But after seeing that rehearsal,

I think it's better if I did.

Now, you know

I think you're wonderful
on air...

But my question is,

before we move forward with
you replacing me as co-hosts,

what exactly
is happening off-air?

Well...

Actually...

Nothing.

Then what was that
I saw out there?

What was that?

That was us playing up
on our chemistry for our fans.

It's a little flirting.

But come on,
there is nothing between us.

It's me and Terrie.

Yeah, it's us.

I mean, there couldn't be
two more mismatched people.

We're strictly professional.

David and I are just co-hosts.

Terrie, David...

This is not some kind
of gameshow.

This is a business.

I am not upset

about my conversation
with Sharyn and David at all.

I'm great, actually.

Everything's fine.

If there was ever a gray area
in David and my's relationship

that's thankfully been rectified

and now we are just
strictly professional.

David and I are just co-hosts.

I am just something else
he has to vacuum.

Sharyn wants to meet you
at the cafe.

Okay! Great!

It's a bit early in the day
for champagne,

but we can still celebrate
the exciting news.

The board has
decided to replace me

with you two as co-hosts.

Congratulations!

That's awesome!

Thank you.

Yeah, thank you.

Now, that's not quite
the reaction I expected.

No, I'm...
I'm grateful.

I...

I just need
to give the idea of co-hosting

a bit more consideration.

You do?

Okay,

but the "monthly pick"
is in two days

and, as I told you,

we would like
to use that segment

to announce the news
to our viewers.

Okay? So we need to know.

Sure.

Hey! You don't want
to co-host anymore?

It's not that I don't want to.

It's... it's kind of
confusing between us.

Things are complicated and...

I got offered a new job,

heading up Daintree's
live division.

And you want to leave for that?

I don't want to.

But maybe it simplifies things.

I go to Daintree.

You take Sharyn's spot.

Or we could both
take Sharyn's spot together.

But what if it gets old, right?

It's not that.

Production needs
to know what item

you've chosen
for the "monthly pick".

We're on it.

- Thanks.
- Cool.

So, I just heard...

You two still haven't decided
on an item

for the "monthly pick"?

We, we just decided right now.

Okay, good.

What is it?

A vacuum.

Yeah.

I mean, you might not
want to vacuum anymore,

but other people still do.

Okay, David, I just got

your message saying
you want to be replaced

on the guest seller
segment today.

Yeah, I was thinking
Terrie could replace me.

Terrie, do you want it?

Sure, yeah.

Look that them.

The brilliance
of that diamond...

It's a five-carat
radiant-cut diamond

with flawless clarity.

It has three carats
of tapered baguette-cut diamonds

set in a custom-made
platinum mount.

It is just stunning.

I think our viewers
would love to own this piece.

Speaking of viewers,
why don't we take a caller?

Hi there.
You're on with Terrie.

Terrie, it's Noah.

Noah?
Thank you for calling.

Is there something
you're interested in

here on air?

Well, actually, yes,

I'm interested
in that engagement ring...

...Because...

Zoom in on Noah.

There's something
I'd like to ask you.

You were right.

We like the same things,
we want the same things.

We make sense.

And I know it's a big step,
but...

It's the next step.

So, Terrie...

Will you marry me?

And that's all the time
we have for today.

We'll see you again back here
real soon.

All right.

Everybody take five, please.

Oh, Noah.

I'm so sorry.
I can't do this.

I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.

David?

- Hey.
- Why aren't you on stage?

Did you know
that Noah was gonna propose?

Is that why you asked me
to replace you?

He really wants to be with you.

Isn't what you want?

I... no.

I... that's what
I thought I wanted,

it's what I thought
I should want.

But I was wrong.

I don't want Noah.

What do you want?

I took the Daintree job.

Why?

We both get what we want.

It, it makes sense.

No, I don't...
I don't want that.

I want to host with you.

David, don't pretend
that you took the job

to be chivalrous.

You took the job because...

You're too scared to get
locked into something with me,

because that concept

is like an escape room to you.

That's not true.

Well, congratulations.

You figured out the secret...

Work backwards from the thing
that's stopping you.

So when do you start Daintree?

Two weeks.

I want Terrie
to take Sharyn's spot.

You could've taken it together.

Yeah, but I thought Terrie
was getting engaged and married,

and I didn't want to be there
for that.

But you said
she's not getting engaged.

She is not.

Then I'm a little confused

because it seems like

you could have
exactly what you want.

So what's the problem?

The problem is that

I've tried this before,

and it didn't work,

and what if the same thing
happens again?

But what if it doesn't?

David, there are always
going to be times in life

when it feels like vacuuming.

That is life.

But you've been lucky enough

to find someone
that you want to vacuum with.

Is everyone at work
talking about it?

No, no. Of course not. No.

It's okay, you can tell me.

Maybe a little talk.

It was pretty dramatic.

Noah's live proposal...

David's announcement
that he's leaving.

Personally,

I was rooting for you and David.

I know, I was kind of
rooting for us, too.

Which is so dumb of me,
because I-I know David.

I know how he is.

You know,
and I still fell for him.

And that's okay.

I just don't know
how I let this happen.

You know,
he's the exact opposite

of what I said I always wanted.

It's just the way
that I felt around him

was like I didn't
have to be anyone.

You know, I could just be myself

and be loved for it.

And you are loved for it.

Thanks.

How am I supposed to do

the "monthly pick"
with him tomorrow?

I just don't know
how to pretend that it's okay.

Maybe you just don't pretend.

"Monthly pick" in five.

Hi.

Hi.

I remember you

walking in here 10 years ago.

P.A., big dreams.

Now look at you.

Replacing me.

Well, no one
could ever replace you.

But you've been
an inspiration to me

from the beginning,

so thank you.

Well, I think you and I
are quite similar.

You do?

I used to run myself ragged

trying to be the perfect host,
wife, mother,

because I thought,
if I was "enough",

I'd be loved.

Then,

I got to the end of my rope,

and I had
this sort of reckoning,

and I realized

that seeking
all that kind of perfection,

it was leading me nowhere.

And that I was already perfect
just the way I was!

Imperfect.

Enough.

Loved.

Hey.

Hi.

I'm Terrie Carpenter.

And I'm David Crabtree.

This "monthly pick",

we bring you the "total vacuum".

This machine does it all...

Nooks, crannies, carpets,
hardwood floors,

whatever you need.

It's got you covered.

But David,
let's get real here, right?

This is a wonderful vacuum, yes.

But it's still just a vacuum.

It'll do the job
day in and day out.

But over the weeks,
months, years,

it might not be so exciting.

There might be days

where you don't feel
like vacuuming at all.

'Cause it's just a vacuum.

It's not gonna
make your life perfect.

You know, I used to believe

that I had to have
the perfect vacuum,

the perfect boyfriend,
the perfect job...

That if I just projected
an image of perfection,

then maybe
I would believe it, too.

But the thing is,

is that we'll never own anything

or buy anything

that will change the way
we see ourselves.

'Cause only we can do that.

But, if in the midst

of your journey
of self-betterment,

you do find
that your home is dusty,

then this is the vacuum for you.

This is the only vacuum
you'll ever want

because it'll make you realize
that cleaning isn't a chore.

You really like
this vacuum, David.

It has
my lifetime warranty, Terrie.

I'm sorry.

I got scared.

But you...

Are what I want to do

with my one wild
and precious life.

And...

A special announcement
for our viewers...

Some of you may have heard

that Sharyn St. Clair
is retiring.

Well, the amazing
Terrie Carpenter

will be replacing her.

Although,
I still want to co-host.

I was hoping you'd say that.

Where were we?

But wait.

There's more.

RIP-FIXES-SYNC
by VaVooM