Looking for Lola (1997) - full transcript
Mike lies to his parents about how successful his life is. He meets Lola, a dancer from Mexico, and lies to them that she's his girlfriend. They decide to visit him to meet her, so his friends help him pretend that his lies are true.
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[music playing]
[MUSIC - KC & THE SUNSHINEBAND, "THAT'S THE WAY"]
[SINGING] That's
the way, I like it.
That's the way, I like it.
That's the way, I like it.
That's the way I like it.
Baby.
That's the way.
That's the way.
Baby.
That's the way.
That's the way.
That's the way.
All right, confidence, boys.
[dance music]
All right, gentlemen,
remember, focus.
Hey, come on.
Let's dance.
Could I get a beer?
You got it.
Thanks.
Could I get you another one?
Can I have a beer, please?
Mike?
Mike Greenbaum from EastOrange, New Jersey, is that you?
Hi, Leanne.
Oh my gosh, I
thought that was you!
Just what a coincidence!
I haven't seen you
since Gorman High.
I can't believe you're
here in California.
You look great.
What you been doing?
I-- I'm a writer.
A writer, wow.
Me?
I, I'm a survey taker.
You know, like when you--
when you go to the
movies, and someone
asks you how you liked it.
That is me.
Wow, that--
that's, um, amazing.
Oh, you want to dance?
I'm actually not a big dancer.
[dance music]
Check him out.
[cheering]
Oh my God!
I love this song!
[MUSIC - LOS DEL RIO, "LA MACARENA"]
[cheering]
[speaking spanish]
How did it go tonight?
It was great.
You should have seen them.
They loved me.
You work too hard.
[speaking spanish]
I will get better.
This production I'm
going out for, it's big.
It could change
everything for me.
[MUSIC - LOS DEL RIO, "LA MACARENA"]
Hey Mike, what's
going on out here?
I'm trying to sleep.
Do you mind?
I, um.
[speaking spanish]
We're late.
[chatter]
[dance music]
There.
[barking]
No, no, Monahan's
already here.
And we're five minutes
late, because you
had me taking your pictures.
Don't worry.
We'll zip right past.
He won't even notice.
Hey.
Hey, my friend.
You're late!
Gentlemen, this is not Club Med.
I am trying to run
a business here.
Sorry, sir.
I don't want to
hear any excuses.
Greenbaum, fix your tie.
Get to work.
Yes, Mr. Monahan.
Benny, you're Picking upthe Japanese at 10 sharp.
Wash the car.
I want it spotless.
In Japan, a dirty
car is an insult.
Good morning, Mr. Greco.
How's my favorite
patient doing today?
I'm doing good, doc.
How long is this little
dig going to take?
About an hour.
Hello?
Louis, I'm going
to be about an hour.
Take Babs for a mocha.
A what, boss?
A mocha.
It's like a coffee.
Right, boss, right.
Sal, give me the phone.
Bab wants to talk to you.
Bab wants to talk to you, boss.
Louis!
Thank you, stupid.
Little nitwit.
Cookums?
Hey there, baby cakes.
Listen, you go with Dom
and Louis for a mocha.
No, I don't want
to get a mocha.
I've already had two
of those things today.
Look, I saw these dressesin the window yesterday.
Can I go get them?
Sure, honey pie, you go ahead.
All right, baby, I love you.
Love that woman.
Dr. Hansen, your wife
wants to know where
to book a table for tonight.
Oh.
Try the Chef Phillipe, doc.
Classiest joint in town.
Expensive, but
worth every penny.
Good tip, Vera.
They got a roasted duckover there, doc, to die for.
And the dessert,
forget about it.
The rum glazed fruit, try that.
Tell them Sally G sent you.
OK.
Doc, we ain't gonna hurtone another, are we, doc?
Thank you, Mr. Greenbaum.
Oh!
Watch it.
Gentlemen, I give
you, Shady Acres.
You see the drought
resistance plants that I
was-- thank you, Mr. Greenbaum.
These are the
drought resistant--
thank you, Mr. Greenbaum.
These are the drought resistantplants I was talking about.
What do you call those
beautiful goldfish
that you have in your country?
[MUSIC - LOS DEL RIO, "LA MACARENA"]
Greenbaum!
What the hell do you thinkyou're doing, Greenbaum?
Are you trying to blow mydeal, you pathetic little worm?
I'm sorry.
- Get out!
- I'm sorry.
Out!
Out!
[MUSIC - LOS DEL RIO, "LA MACARENA"]
Benny!
Benny!
Can you turn the music down?
I'm trying to work here?
Relax, have some fun.
Will you turn the music down!
Down.
Don't tell them.
You're still writing aboutthat cat who goes to Pluto.
It's Venus,
Venus, Benny, Venus.
Mikey, name one cat
whoever went to Venus.
Are you completely--
[phone ringing]
Hello?
- How are you, dear?
- Hi, Mom.
We got your letter today.
That's a very fancyautomobile you're driving.
Fancy, shmancy, that wasa damned stupid thing to do,
Mike.
Hi, Dad.
What you do, you financedit, you leased it, what?
I, uh, I paid cash for it.
Cash?
Where'd you get
that kind of money?
I told you.
I sold a story.
Mike, listen to me, please.
You gotta think
about your future.
You were born to be a plumber.
Cats come and go.
But toilets are here forever.
People will always need aplace to take a crap, Mikey.
Always nice
talking to you, Dad.
He's upset, dear.
I think he's worried whether ornot you have met a nice girl.
Listen to your mother.
You're going to end up likeyour idiot sister, who sits home
all day watching the stupid TV.
Hello, I can hear you.
How many times I
have to tell you,
my research is very important?
Important for who?
Maybe just for mankind andthe future of our planet, Dad.
Planet, shmanet,
you're a mental case!
Instead of finding a husband,you sit in your room all day
with your martian friends.
Well, at least I'm not sittingin other people's shit all day.
Hey, hey, hey, don't knockthe hand that feeds you,
young lady.
I don't see any of youralien friends supporting you.
I don't need
your support, Dad.
Contact will be made soon.
Good, maybe one of
your space schmucks
will come down and
abduct you, maybe
put a ring on your finger.
Oh, what a whack.
So have you?
Have I what?
Met anyone.
Yeah, actually, I
am seeing someone.
He's met someone.
So who is she, dear?
Just this girl.
In fact, she's waiting
for me right now.
So I got to go, Mom.
Bye.
So where's the babe?
Isn't there somewhere
you're supposed to be?
Excuse me, Mr. Lady Killer.
[dance music]
Pardon me?
Is the girl with
the macarena here?
No.
[dance music]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Michael?
Ma, who died?
No one died, why?
Because you're calling me at4:00 in the morning again, Ma.
You have daylight
savings mixed up, dear.
It's seven.
That's Jersey time,
Ma, Jersey time.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was just wondering,
is it for real?
If what's for real?
This girl, the
one you're seeing.
Is it serious?
Come on, Ma!
Yeah, it's serious, OK?
It is?
Yeah, but I gotta get upfor work in a couple hours.
So please?
Who is she?
Goodnight, Ma, goodnight.
Michael?
Michael?
[chatter]
Excuse me.
[dance music]
You're up.
Come on.
[dance music]
OK, thank you, ladies.
Last look, ladies.
All right, that's all.
Miss thing?
You with the red
thing on your hip.
Me?
Come here.
Maggie, Maggie, let's notwaste time with her, OK?
Please, trust me on this one.
The girl's got
something special.
I don't see it.
That's why I'm
the choreographer.
Guys, guys, guys,
we don't have all day.
Sweetie, what's your name?
Lola Gomez.
And tell me about
yourself, Lola.
I'm from Mexico.
How long have
you been dancing?
Since I was five.
How long have you lived here?
About six months.
You have a work permit?
Yes.
Hal, we got to move it along.
I couldn't agree more.
OK, call backs are in a week.
We'll be in touch.
Thank you.
And if you make
it back, we'll need
to copy of the work permit.
Of course.
Thank you.
[speaking spanish]
Jose, clear the
table, mi amor.
Thank you.
What is wrong?
[speaking spanish]
You can tell me.
What is it?
Do not worry.
Things will work out.
You will see.
They promised you
the papers, no?
Lola, even if it don't workout, there are other ways.
Lucinda, she paid
some guy to marry her.
She got her green card.
Raul, this is my niece.
When she marries, it willbe for love, not a card.
Turn the chicken.
I'm not worried about that.
Then what?
These dancers I'm
up against here,
they come from rich families.
They went to the best schools,had the best teachers.
They've performed inplaces I can only dream of.
Lolita, money is nothing.
[speaking spanish] what
they do not have, heart.
But I'm so scared.
What if they don't pick me?
If you want it, Lolita,
set the fire free.
I have.
No, no really, set it free.
Yes!
Yes!
[speaking spanish]
[dance music]
[clapping]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Mike, did I wake you up?
Ma, you are doing it again.
It's your father.
He's such a worry wart.
His blood pressure is up again.
He'd like to know.
Know what?
What this girl's
intentions are.
What?
He'd like to
believe it's serious.
Mom, I told you already.
I know it's serious.
But how serious?
Serious, Ma, serious, sovery, very, incredibly serious.
In fact, you know what?
We're living together.
You happy now?
You live together?
Yeah we do, OK?
Goodnight, Ma.
Christ.
Mike, got any quarters?
Are you serious?
You said you were
bringing quarters.
All I got is a five.
Go get some change.
[MUSIC - LOS DEL RIO, "LA MACARENA"]
Mike!
Mike!
What?
Jesus, what are you doing?
She was right here, Benny.
She was right here.
Who?
That dancer girl
from the club.
You got to get a grip, man.
You've got to stop
thinking about her.
I can't.
Give it up, Mikey.
You're never going to get her.
Why not?
Because she's probably goingout with someone who can dance,
like John Travolta.
What are you saying?
I can't dance.
I'm saying you
dance like a duck.
And hips, shake,
shake, shake, and turn.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
Goes hips, and hips, shake,shake, shake, and turn.
OK, come on.
Find your partner.
Let's go.
One, two, three, four, five,six, seven, eight, yeah, OK.
Let's see some energy.
Keep it going.
[phone ringing]
Ma.
No, it's your father.
My God, don't you
people ever sleep?
Listen to me.
Your mother is in
a panic, all right?
She was up all night.
Her ulcer is all flared
up and everything.
Now, what's with this girl?
Are you really living with her?
Look, I'm trying
to sleep here, OK?
I cannot talk about
this right now.
The hell you can't.
You know, we have--
Mikey, I gotta go!
I want to finish this
later, take care.
Why don't you save
us all some money,
go into the demolition business.
The resort's number is here.
You can use this plate.
And you may drink
from this glass.
Please, be sure to turnthe gas off, if you could.
Now, Lulu gets hermedicine at 4:00 o'clock.
You will talk to her
twice a day in English
so she doesn't get lonely.
Yeah, my little pumpkin.
Don't leave the lights on.
And do not use this room.
I don't like fingerprintson the marble.
Now, when you take
a bath, a bano.
It's bano.
Whatever.
Don't even think about
using my bathtub.
There's one in the
maid's quarters.
OK.
And stay away
from my Ming vase.
This is worth more thanyou'll see in your lifetime.
Selma, let's go!
Come on!
Coming.
Bring my bags.
[speaking spanish]
Oh, be sure and start
my car for the battery.
Oh, and one other thing.
I don't want anyone, Imean anyone, in the house.
Is that understood?
Yes, of course.
No, no, no, no,
I mean, comprendo.
Christ, she's got it.
I don't trust her kind.
Enjoy yourself, Lola.
All right, I'm ready.
I'm gonna miss you.
Get in.
OK, let's go.
[dance music]
[beeping]
[engine sputtering]
Is there a problem?
Oh, I don't know.
It just died.
Tony.
Lola.
Lola.
Lola, why don't you pop thetrunk, and let's take a look,
OK?
Hey, Mikey, you give
me a hand over here, OK?
I think this lady'shaving the same problem I
had with my Ferrari last week.
Come on.
Don't you ever get
tired of the bullshit?
Hey, just focus, Mikey.
Come on.
Lola, this is-- this isMike, my business partner.
And we actually-- we
buy, sell, and own
several of the propertieshere in this neighborhood.
OK, give it a shot.
Should be all set?
It works.
Thank you, Mike.
You're welcome.
Yeah, Thank you, Mike.
Oh, you know what?
You better call London,
see if that $10 million
transfer made it
into our account.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
I really appreciate
you fixing my car.
It's not a problem.
Is there anything else
that needs fixing?
No, nothing I can think of.
OK, then, you know, maybe--
maybe we could have dinner?
That's very kind of you.
But, no thank you.
You have a boyfriend
or something?
No, but you've got a wife.
Actually, my wife, shepassed away three years ago.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
No, no, it's all right.
It's all right.
I just-- just thought we could,you know, have dinner and talk.
OK.
But just dinner, nada mas.
Yeah, absolutely, where
would you like to go?
Che Philippe.
How about I pick
you up at eight?
How about I meet you there?
Yes.
We'll meet at 8.
OK.
[phone ringing]
Leanne speaking!
Leanne, Mike
Greenbaum calling.
Hi.
Mike, hi, how are you?
Good, you know, I just
wanted to call and thank
you for the other night.
I had a really great time.
Yeah, me too.
It was-- I mean,
I never imagined
that you like the macarena.
That place was
really rocking, huh?
Especially when that
masked girl came on.
I know.
Isn't she great?
Wherever she is, the
crowd just goes wild.
You wouldn't
happen to know where
she is tonight, would you?
Well, it's
different every night.
But, hey, if we hit some ofthe clubs, we could find her.
I would love to, actually.
But my car is in the shop.
No problem, I'll
swing by, really.
How's 9:00 o'clock?
Good, see you then.
Woo-hoo!
Hey, honey pie,
where's junior?
She's at my mom's.
Where are you going?
The office, Monahan, he'son a mission, I'm telling you.
Bullshit, Tony, youare not dressed for work.
It's night.
Things, they're a
little more casual.
Are you wearing cologne?
No, it's the Japanese.
They get very--
You are a lying
bastard, you know that?
Do you want to destroy
our lives, Tony?
You know what, how about this?
How about I help you with that?
Let's just destroy everything.
Deborah!
Why not!
Why not Tony!
How about this!
How about this!
No!
How about it?
Don't, don't do it, Debbie.
Either jump or
shut up, will you!
Mind your own
business, you fat ass!
Mind my own business,
you white trash!
Deb!
Come on inside.
Look, I'm calling the office.
Then call them, Tony!
I'm trying to have dinner!
Oh yeah you big pig!
This is you!
Hello?
We got a problem.
Tony, what's up?
You know the rich
chick in the Porsche?
She's waiting for me,
but Deb is freaking out.
And I can't get down there.
So you got to go.
Call the restaurant.
Deb is going to kill herself.
I'm calling the police now.
You call the police!
And you get the
zookeeper to get you.
I got $13 in my pocket.
They wouldn't even let
me in to Che Philipe.
I'm not asking you to eat.
Just go down there and
apologize for me, OK?
You tell your
boss that you have
a life outside of the office.
Honey, I am telling him.
Mr. Monahan, I am spendingthe evening with my family.
And that is that.
Uh-huh.
Shit.
I'm just going to
be a minute or two.
- Excuse me?
- Sir, may I help you?
Yeah, I'm looking fora young woman named Lola.
This way.
Hi.
Hi.
I, oh, excuse me.
Seat.
Thank you.
I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
Tony is not going to make it.
He did his thing.
And so he, unfortunately, had--
I'm so glad you could come.
I'm glad I don't
have to eat alone.
Mademoiselle has orderedthe chateau Latreau, 1977.
Would you care for the same,or perhaps another vintage?
Well, actually, that's--the thing is, I don't.
Oh, it's very nice.
You should taste it.
She is absolutely correct.
It is one of the best bottlesyou can get in the $300 to $500
range.
Oh, the special
for today for two,
which I have already
suggested, is the duck.
Would you like to share it?
Share it?
No, I want my own.
She has quite an appetite, no?
Monsieur?
Well, actually, I'm not surethat I'm going to be able to--
Table for my guests.
The duck sounds great.
I would like a duck.
Two-- two ducks.
Oui, oui.
I recommend the Merlot, 1966.
A bit more expensive, but verycomplimentary to the duck.
You know, I'm--
I'm not--
Oh, I love that wine.
Very good.
So it sounds like you and Tonyare doing a lot of business.
Oh, yeah, well, you
know, we're buying.
And we're selling.
What do you do?
What is it that you do?
Internationalarchitecture landscaping.
We own offices all
around the world.
So you must travel a lot.
- Sometimes.
- That's great.
The contract.
Can be.
But since I broke up with myex-boyfriend Prince Alberto
III, it's been a bit lonely.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no, don't be.
He was a jerk.
What about you?
Me?
A guy like you must beinvolved with a beautiful girl.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's really beautiful.
To you and your girl.
Yeah.
[applause]
Hi.
I'm Leanne.
- I remember you.
Your Mike's friend.
Yeah, know where he is?
He stood you up?
Big time.
It's a good thing I'm here.
I love those rings.
Thanks.
Check this out.
Very cool.
It would look cool on you.
Want a shot of Jagermeister?
Jager's my flavor.
Be right back.
Focus, focus, focus.
A very rare
vintage, which will
superbly accompany the salad.
Thank you.
Aren't you going
to smell the cork?
Smell the cork?
It is a $700 bottle of wine.
Perfect.
Could I have some ice, please?
Ice?
Yeah, I'm a little.
A flower for the lady.
Ah!
For you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Your girlfriend is very lucky.
Why's that?
Because you're
a really nice guy.
[yelping]
[dance music]
May I recommend a digestivand after dinner drink?
Yes.
A rare, 90-year-old cognac,like velvet under your throat.
Please.
Sir?
If you wouldn't--
excuse me for a moment.
I'm going to go to the restroom.
Don't forget to
wash your hands.
Please excuse me.
[phone ringing]
[moaning]
Hello.
Thank God you're home.
Listen.
I'm not home.
Benny, I really, really
need your help here, OK?
I told you.
I'm not home.
Wait!
Dammit.
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Tony?
Mikey, what's up?
I'm sitting in
a very expensive
meal with $3 in your pocket.
Where are you?
Where am I?
What do you mean, where I am?
you know exactly where I am.
Che Phillipe, huh?
Fancy.
Fancy.
Oh, Mike, come on.
We can't really afford
a place like that.
You know that?
You're buying, huh?
What's the occasion?
Listen to me.
Get down here, and bring
me some money right now.
I wish you had
called us earlier.
We just ate.
Tony, don't do this to me.
But you know what?
Tell her happy birthday.
Don't hang up on me.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
And thank you for calling.- Don't do that!
Bye.
Dammit!
Dammit!
Greenbaum?
Mr. Monahan?
What in God's
name are you doing?
I-- I--
I-- I--
I-- I was feeling a
little dizzy, sir.
So I thought I shouldget some fresh fresh air.
No, no, Greenbaum.
What are you doing here
in this restaurant?
Well, I'm--
I'm on a date, sir.
Yes, well I'm here on acrucial business meeting.
And I will not
let the Matsutushi
group see you like this.
No sir, no, they won't, sir.
They won't.
Do you realize they
almost walked out
after your little dance number?
Now, I have the
contract on the table
out there, Greenbaum, a contractworth over $100 million.
And I will not let
you screw it up.
No, no, no, no, sir.
I'll stay completely
out of sight, sir.
No, no, Greenbaum.
You will leave this
restaurant now.
Now, Greenbaum!
Go.
Go.
Are you OK?
Fine.
Fine.
Sir, the check.
$312.
Oh, no, $3,125.
Without tip.
Gentlemen.
Psst!
I'm still hungry.
Would you like
some more dessert?
- Yes.
- OK.
Do you have the
rum glaze fruit?
The speciality.
Two.
Maurice?
That looks delicious.
Delicious.
$3,200.
Greenbaum!
Initial and the signature.
[gasping]
What's the matter?
I have an allergy.
What is happening?
He's having an allergy attack.
Maurice, call an ambulance.
Sir, what is wrong?
Are there
strawberries in this?
Oui, the best!
[gasping]
You must be sitting.
Greenbaum!
[gasping]
[sirens]
[chatter]
I don't know!
Greenbaum, you're fired!
[sirens]
Set me up an IV!
I'm OK.
I'm OK.
No, it's OK.
I feel better.
You're feeling better?
I get these flare
ups from time to time.
The thing is--
[gasping]
He's better?
He's OK?
Could be a bad reaction
to food poisoning?
Food poisoning?
No!
Nurse!
Nurse, get these
people out of here!
100 joules!
- Clear!
- Again.
[shouting]
[giggling]
[MUSIC - LOS DEL RIO, "LA MACARENA"]
[giggling]
He's got a pulse.
I'm sorry about
the strawberries.
I had no idea that you
were allergic to them.
Look, I didn't
really have a seizure.
I was supposed to go inthere, tell you that Tony
couldn't make it, and go home.
Why didn't you?
I don't know.
It just got so out of control.
I knew I didn't have
money to pay the check.
And the waiter just
keep coming, and coming.
But I thought you and Tonywere big time developers.
No, we're broke.
Tony just said that
to impress you.
You kept ordering
all this expensive food
knowing you had no money?
I kept ordering.
You ordered a whole
duck, for Christ's sake!
[laughter]
What?
What's so funny?
I almost had a heart attack.
Why didn't you just
tell me the truth.
You rich people have no ideawhat it's like to be broke.
I was completely humiliated.
It wasn't that bad.
Not that bad?
I ditched the check,
got fired from my job,
and got fried at the hospital.
What else can go wrong?
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Mike?
Guess where we are?
Ma?
On a plane.
They have phones
on airplanes now.
What are you doing
on a plane, Ma?
Well, we just took off.
We're coming for the weekendto meet your girlfriend
and see your place.
Why, why, why,
why, why didn't you
tell me you're coming to visit?
Well, I wanted to.
But your father wanted
to surprise you.
Aren't you excited?
Yeah.
Now, it's flight?
409.
409 from Newark,
arriving at 5:10.
OK, Ma, see you there.
I'm dead.
I'm dead.
I'm so dead.
What's wrong?
My parents are flying
in for the weekend.
So?
So my family thinks I'm thishotshot writer with a big house
and an expensive car.
You lied to them too?
I had to.
They don't get it, you know?
My dad wants me to be a plumber.
I'm such a schmuck.
Well, why don't you
bring them to my house,
and tell them it's yours?
You mean, like I own it?
You're a good
liar, aren't you?
Yeah.
I mean, no.
This isn't happening.
I got to pick up Monahan andthe Japanese in half an hour.
Why am I doing this?
Do you think we'll
able to find him?
There he is.
There he is!
My baby!
Hi, Ma.
You look skinny.
Please, he looks terrific.
Mikey, how are you?
Right over here.
This is yours too?
Mikey, how can
you afford this?
I told you.
I'm doing very well.
Certainly.
This is my driver Bernard.
Mr. and Mrs. Greenbaum.
Is he Jewish?
Ma.
I'm just asking.
Ma, come on.
Your sister says hi.
She's sorry she
couldn't make it.
Thank God.
We can't wait to
meet your girlfriend.
Oh yeah.
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Benny.
Where the hell are you?
We're waiting.
Our friend's flight
leaves in one hour.
I'll be there in
15 minutes, sir.
No!
Five minutes, Benny, fiveminutes, do you understand?
Or you are fired?
Yes, sir.
[tires squealing]
Sorry.
[honking]
There you go, ma'am.
Well, here we are.
Oh my!
Oh my!
It's gorgeous!
Look!
I don't believe this.
I had no idea you
were doing so well.
Ma, Ma, no, no,
Bernard, get the bags.
You're a dead man.
Mike, how much do
you tip out here?
I wouldn't worry about it.
Put it away.
- What's right is right.
Anything else, sir?
No, you know what, Bernard?
Why don't you take
the weekend off?
Bernard?
Oh, really, ma'am, you don't--
Your tip.
$10 you gave him, Doris?
Are you trying to ruin us?
Look at this place!
It's so beautiful!
And so tasteful.
Very impressive, son.
I knew you'd make us proudout here, but this place!
Dad, Ma, this is Lola.
This is the girlfriendwe've heard so much about?
Girlfriend?
- She means fiance?
- Fiance.
I told you he was
hiding something, Doris.
Welcome to the family, dear.
Laura.
Lola.
Lola, so pretty.
Enough with the
kisses, Max, enough.
OK, OK.
A little something for you.
Thank you.
Why don't you shoe
them to our room?
Dinner will be ready soon.
I'll get the bags.
Let me give you a hand.
Our own room.
Thank you, dear.
Beautiful table, so festive.
Where did you learn this, dear?
I learned everything
I know from mi mama.
So where is your mother?
In Paris, with my
Papa in business.
And what sort ofbusiness is your family in?
Gardening.
Oh, you mean like gardeners?
Dad.
Architectural landscaping.
We create parks andgardens all over the world.
That's quite a
big chunk there.
How does your fatherhandle that all by himself?
My uncle Jose, he is in chargeof the entire United States.
Well, you tell your uncle
Jose, parks and gardens
need plumbing too, you know?
Dad, come on.
Oh, come on.
Tell me, Lola, where isyour family from originally?
Guadalajara.
Guadalajara, that's
in the Mediterranean.
Doris.
It's in Africa.
Actually, it's in Mexico.
Please, help yourselves.
What is this?
Tostadas.
Try it.
Oh.
Michael, I'm so happy.
I always knew you would
find a nice Jewish girl.
Yeah, they're all nicetill after they get married.
Dad, she's not like that, OK?
You've got a
prenuptial, right?
Dad.
How do we know Little
Miss Guadalajara here
isn't some kind of gold digger?
Dad.
Is everything all right?
Great, great, sweetie.
Yes.
This looks so tasty.
[gasping]
Ma.
Hot.
Drink some water.
It's just very hot
salsa. you'll be OK.
I'll get some ice.
Did you see that?
I knew it.
Mom and dad, don't worry.
We already talked to a rabbi.
And she's going to convert.
She is?
Oh yeah, definitely.
But, you know, it's kind
of a very touchy issue.
So don't bring it up.
No, no, not a word.
Here's the ice.
Are you OK?
Much better, thank you.
So tell me, how
long did the rabbi
say the conversion would take?
Excuse me?
You know, the rabbi,
sweetie, that we
went to visit the other week.
Oh yes, how long?
[speaking spanish]
Pardon?
Half an hour.
Half an hour?
New age rabbi, very quick.
Oh, yes, speedy rabbi.
In LA, people convert sooften that it's very easy.
Great little place,
Jew can be a Jew too.
You can zip in, you zip
out, boom, you're a Jew.
Quick.
Drive through temple.
[laughter]
Lola, that was such abeautiful evening, so festive,
gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.
I'm proud of you Mikey.
Thanks Dad.
You did good.
I'm so happy you guys came.
Goodnight, Dad.
Goodnight.
Sleep well.
Goodnight.
Goodnight, Dad.
What?
Why don't you tell me
what's going on here?
First I'm your girlfriend,then your fiance,
now I'm converting?
By tomorrow we'll
have three kids.
Everything is fine!Everything was going fine.
Your cross just slipped out.
Now you're
blaming my religion?
[speaking spanish]
Speak to me in English.
You want English?
How is this?
Buenas noches.
Mike, dear?
I need a glass of water
for your father's teeth.
Oh, downstairs,
Ma, in the kitchen.
Can I get it for you?
Oh, no, no, I'll go get it.
You go inside and
get some sleep.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Night.
Goodnight.
Don't tell me you
want to sleep in here.
I don't have a choice.
I said you could stay inmy house, not in my bed.
I'll sleep on the floor.
There are five other
bedrooms in this house.
But my parents are outside.
How would they know?
You don't know my mother.[knocking]
Michael?
Michael are you there?
Come in, Ma.
Just wanted to say
goodnight again, dear.
And thank you for dinner.
Those tostadas, I'll
never forget them.
You're welcome.
Goodnight.
Goodnight, Ma.
Get out of my bed!
Out!
Out!
Can I help you?
She's got a bad tooth.
Mr. Greco's in Vegas.
But he said the doctor
will fix her up.
But it's not possible.
What do you mean it's notpossible, you little bitch,
I'm in pain!
He's not here.
What's going on?
Not here, huh?
Not here?
We want you to fix her tooth.
Find a dentist.
Don't mess with us.
You either fix her tooth, or I'mgoing to shoot you in the face.
No, no, the dentist
will fix her tooth.
Take her over there
in the dental room.
We'll be right there.
Don't touch me.
Come on, stupid.
You are so stupid,
and you're fat.
What the hell is going on?
- You have to fix her tooth.- Me?
I'm not a dentist.
And I'm not the
owner of this house.
What?
This is not my house.
What do you mean
it's not your house?
Who the hell's house is it?
I also a confession to make.
This house belongs to my boss.
He's on vacation.
I'm just house sitting.
He's the dentist.
You mean, my
parents are sleeping
in the house of some dentist?
Yes, but it's OK.
He's away for two weeks.
I'm dead.
I'm so dead.
Doc!
She's in pain!
Let's go!
- You have to do it.
- Are you crazy?
I don't know how to do that.
So pretend, they're dangerous.
They're hit men.
Doc, we're losing her.
If she dies, everyone dies.
Michael, do you have guests?
Go back to sleep, OK.
Please, go back to bed.
Don't talk to your mother likethat, you little piece of shit.
Sorry, Ma.
We have to go.
Hello, hello, I'm Doris.
Hi, I'm Louis.
What's taking so long?
Let's go, hurry up.
You go fix him a drink.
And I'll take care of her.
OK, let's just have
a drink over here.
Just give me some drugs, lady.
So Louis, what
exactly do you do?
I run the show for Mr. Greco.
Show business, are you
an actor, or a writer?
What do you do?
I make people disappear.
A magician?
Splendid, have a cookie.
I made them myself, fat free.
Can I have two?
Sure.
Thank you.
Doctor, she's ready.
OK, we're going
to fix her right up.
So don't worry.
OK, now, where does it hurt?
OK, do you brush much?
Is this an interview?
You gonna fix my tooth?
Sure.
Open wide.
Aye!
Excuse me.
It's her wisdom tooth.
It's infected.
What do you want me to do?
- You have to pull it?
- Are you crazy?
I can't pull a tooth.
You have to!
I cannot do it!
What's with the chitchat?
We're going to be withyou in just a jiffy, sir.
We're just a little--
we're just consulting.
You got to try the
old lady's cookies.
They're unbelievable.
What kind?
Oatmeal, fat free, come on.
Ow!
Ow!
Just give her something.
Novocaine, it
will knock her out.
Good.
[moaning]
Me?
Yes, you're the dentist.
This will do it?
Oh yes, she will
sleep for three days.
Is this going to hurt?
No, you'll just
feel a little prick.
It won't hurt.
I promise.
[yelp]
Doing the best I can.
Relax, it will be very quick.
[shrieking]
So when the medication wearsoff, she should be like new.
Doc, your mom's
the best, all right?
So you better have
respect for her.
OK.
Yeah, you better have respect.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Oh, you should try this shit.
Thank God it's over.
What are you
trying to do to me?
I thought I was helping you.
Helping me?
How?
How are you helping me?
By letting you
stay in my house.
It's not your house.
Your parents don't know that.
Relax.
Relax?
How would you feel
if your mom was
sleeping in some
random dentist's bed
serving cookies to a hit man?
I thought I had
honesty problems.
You know something,
you're right?
You want honesty.
I'll give you honest.
Why don't we wake
up your parents
and tell them the truth,right now mister big shot.
Are you trying
to destroy my life?
You are not the onlyone taking risks here, OK?
If my boss knew what
I was doing for you,
I would never get my
work permit, never.
I would lose everything.
I don't know why I'm
trying to help you.
You don't like me?
Fine, I'm not crazy
about you either.
But just keep this
up for two more days.
And then you never have
to talk to me again.
- Fine.
- OK, fine.
Fine.
Perfect!
[speaking spanish]
[spanish music]
[phone ringing]
[speaking spanish]
Hello?
Who?
She's not here.
She got it?
5:00 o'clock, Monday,
thank you, thank you.
Lola has made the audition!
[cheering]
[spanish music]
Surprise!
What are you doing here?
The people from
the show called.
You got your audition.
[shrieking]
Lola?
Who is this man?
It's not a man.
It's Mike.
Mike?
Hi.
You are here with him alone?
No, no, his parents are here.
Parents?
The dentist, he
came home last night.
The dentist is here.
[speaking spanish]
Who do we have here, Lola?
Uncle Jose, Aunt Alma,Anna, Chicito, and Miranda.
Lola has told us
so much about you.
I've heard a lot
about you, Jose.
We didn't come at a bad time?
Oh, no, not at all.
Maybe we should
leave, Jose, no?
No, please come in.
We have so much to talk about.
OK.
[speaking spanish]
How was your trip?
Bumpy, but worth it.
Vacations are very important.
You've been very kind to Lolita.
I thank you.
She's a wonderful girl.
They're going to make--
they're going to make
such a beautiful couple.
Who?
Who?
Mike and Lola.
Lolita and your son?
Yeah, they're engaged.
Lolita, why didn't
you to tell us
that you were getting engaged?
Because I wanted
to surprise you.
[cheering]
[singing spanish]
Cute cabana!
What is this?
Thanks for inviting
us to Che Phillipe.
I'm sorry we couldn't come.
But definitely thank
you for the invite.
Yeah, we got a little tied up.
This party is just
getting started.
Let's party!
Come on!
[singing spanish]
Say, Jose, you
know, we should be
doing some business together?
You and me?
Yeah, I could help
you a lot, you know?
I'm very good at what I do.
I know.
Lola told me you are thebest, but very expensive.
Jose, we're family.
I'll give you my best bargain.
In fact, first job for free.
Really?
Damn right, you tell
me what the problem is.
I'll fix it.
I don't know.
Come on, you ask anyone.
I keep my clients very happy.
Actually, I am
missing a tooth.
A tooth?
Right here.
Oh, I see.
Well, that's nothing.
If I were you, I'd have
them all pulled out.
All pulled out, my teeth?
Absolutely, that's what I did.
But don't let this
come between us.
You and me, we should set upan appointment for tomorrow?
Tomorrow.
Absolutely.
Moved in on my turf, Mikey.
You mean I got screwed
with your turf, Tony.
You know what?
I'm sorry about the
whole restaurant thing.
But come on, Mikey,
the gal is mine.
You're a sick person, Tony.
Very sick.
This is a party.
I'm having so much fun, honey.
Where's the hostess
of the house?
I haven't been able to see him.
Lola?
Lola?
Tony.
And this is
Tony's wife, Debbie.
Hi, nice to meet you.
Wow, you look wonderful
for a dead woman.
Excuse me?
You've been dead
for three years.
That's what he told me.
Uh-huh.
I've been dead
for three years.
Have I been dead
for three years?
Have I been dead forthree years, you bastard!
Debbie!
Debbie!
Don't tell me to calm down!
You're a bastard!
[cheering]
Achoo!
God, come on.
First our trip is ruined
by this stupid bug.
And now that little
bitch isn't even there.
[phone ringing]
[laughter]
[cheering]
[sneeze]
What the hell is going on?
I don't know.
Hey, amigo, have a cigar.
They belong to the dentist.
Give me those.
Get your thumb out!
Let go of me!
Lola!
Who are you people?
What are you doing in my house?
[speaking spanish]
No!
[speaking spanish]
Ah!
Gregory!
[growling]
Gregory, Gregory.
[barking]
Let's get some air.
Get out!
Get out!
What the hell
is going on here?
Gregory!
Gregory!
What the hell is going on?
Who are all these people?
Lola!
You're back.
Yes, we are.
What is this?
Get these people out of here.
Let me explain.
I'm so sorry, doctor.
All you people, out!
Out!
I'm calling the police!
I want these people out of here.
Everybody is going
to get deported!
Now, get out!
Hey, hey, who do you
think you are, pal?
I am Dr. Gregory Henson.
Doctor?
Well, you can leave, doctor,because everyone here
looks pretty healthy to me.
[laughter]
I'm the owner of
this house, sir.
You are not.
This is my son's house.
- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
It-- it's his house.
What?
Lola, is this true?
This is the real Dr. Henson.
Mikey, you mean this
is not your house?
No.
What?
I just said that
to impress you.
You are not a dentist?
Me?
No, I'm a plumber.
A plumber?
And you want wanted to
pull out all my teeth.
What?
All right, that is it.
Everybody out, go!
Come on, out, out,everybody, go, go, get out.
Please let me explain.
Lola, not only are youfired, but you can forget
about your legalization papers.
Now, get out.
Shoo, shoo, go on!
Shoo!
Henson!
I said everybody
get the hell out!
Mr. Greco, what a--
what a delightful surprise.
What can I do for you?
Forget about what
you can do for me.
Look at what you did to her.
I don't understand.
[mumbling]
Yeah, little cookie,
I know it's him.
Ow!
No!
I guess a blow job
is out of the question.
Oh no!
I-- I can glue it.
Let's get out of here.
I'm going to take
you for a mocha.
I'm so sorry.
But, but what
are we going to do?
The dentist is going tocall [speaking spanish]..
It doesn't matter.
I'm going home tomorrow.
Going home?
[speaking spanish]
Don't you see
everything I did?
I-- I've hurt you all.
And I'm not going
to do it any more.
I want to go to
the airport now.
I told you, Max, our
special fare tickets
are only good for tomorrow.
I've never been so
humiliated in my life.
I'm sorry, Dad.
Where did I go wrong?
How did I screw up?
I tried so hard to
guide you, to give
you opportunities I never had.
Dad, you don't understand.
It's not about opportunities.
Michael, I'm not finished!
Why the hell do
you think I named
the company Greenbaum and Son?
That's your problem, Dad.
It's all about
you, what you feel,
what you think I should do.
I have my own plans.
I have my own dream.
Dream?
This is a nightmare!
Max, your blood pressure.
He lied to us?
That's because nothing Iever do is good enough for you!
You hear this, Doris?
Now it's my fault
that he's a failure.
It's not about
success or failure, Dad.
I don't love you because
you're a plumber.
I love you because
you're my father.
It would be nice if
you could do the same.
If you loved me, if
you loved your mother,
you'd move back home.
I can't do that, dad.
Then there's nothing
more to talk about.
Are you sure?
No listing under Jose Gomez?
Thanks.
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Mike?
Lola, I have beenlooking everywhere for you.
I'm so sorry that
things got messed up.
No, it's my fault.
Tell your parents I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry this happened.Bye.
No, don't!
Lola!
Don't!
[phone ringing]
Beverly Hills Dental Shrine?
Hi, is Dr. Henson there?
It's urgent.
Dr. Henson, it's for you.
It's urgent.
This is Dr. Henson,
can I help you?
Dr. Henson, hi,
it's Mike Greenbaum.
I was at your
house this weekend.
It wasn't Lola's
fault. It was mine.
Is there any way
I could maybe get
her number from you, or maybeher address or something?
You listen to me,
you little twerp.
If you even step intothe 90210 zip code again,
I will have you arrested!
Ow!
She's here.
Excuse me, hold on!
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
PA: Final boarding callfor Mexican Airlines flight
number seven to Guadalajara.
Lola!
Lola!
Mike.
Where are you going?
Home to Guadalajara.
But your audition
is in two hours.
It's too late.
It doesn't matter.
Yes, yes, it does.
She has no papers.
It's all over, Mike.
No, no, no, it's not.
There's nothing we can do.
We can get married.
What?
I-- I love you.
Would-- would you
marry me, please?
Please.
Yes, yes.
[cheering]
Let's go, let's go!
Oh no, look at the line.
Hi, I am really
sorry to bother you.
But she has to besomewhere by 5:00 o'clock.
Is there any way
possible we could
maybe just go in front of you?
No, we've been waiting inthis line for three hours.
Please, please, it isreally, really important.
What part of no
didn't you understand?
She's dying.
She is?
Yeah, she could
go at any minute.
It's my last wish.
That's too bad.
Come on.
Paul, how can you
be so insensitive?
Look at the poor thing.
Here you go, honey,
you go right ahead.
Thank you.
Great, what has
gotten into your brain?
We've been waiting inthis line for three hours.
Oh, me, me, me, me,it's all about you, is it?
Obviously, the
sacrament of marriage
means nothing to a man like you.
What are you saying?
I'm saying that I do
not wish to exchange
the vows of marriage
with a man like you.
No, Darlene, don't say that.
Come on.
We are gathered here todaybecause Mike Greenbaum and Lola
Gomez have decided
to share their lives
in the holy state of matrimony.- I'm sorry.
We're in a little
bit of a rush today.
Can you kind of
cut to the chase?
What?
We do.
Thank you, sir.
We appreciate it.
I'm here, please!
It's not 5:00 o'clock yet!
Please open up!
I have a callback at five!
All right, come on.
Wait, wait, we're here.
We're here.
No, no.
My name is Lola Gomez.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
That was the last number.
She missed her time.
Please, I just
took her off a plane.
I ruined six people's weddingand broke the land speed
record to get her here, please.
Please, give her a shot.
Please, have a heart.
Lola, Lola.
Go for it, girl.
All right, two minutes,
and we're out of here.
- Hey.
- Would you sit down?
Yeah, sorry, no problem.
[dance music]
Look at that!
She's good.
Who's he?
This guy isn't
even on the list.
She's great!
Yes!
Yes!
She's something.
[cheering]
[yelping]
[dance music]
---
[music playing]
[MUSIC - KC & THE SUNSHINEBAND, "THAT'S THE WAY"]
[SINGING] That's
the way, I like it.
That's the way, I like it.
That's the way, I like it.
That's the way I like it.
Baby.
That's the way.
That's the way.
Baby.
That's the way.
That's the way.
That's the way.
All right, confidence, boys.
[dance music]
All right, gentlemen,
remember, focus.
Hey, come on.
Let's dance.
Could I get a beer?
You got it.
Thanks.
Could I get you another one?
Can I have a beer, please?
Mike?
Mike Greenbaum from EastOrange, New Jersey, is that you?
Hi, Leanne.
Oh my gosh, I
thought that was you!
Just what a coincidence!
I haven't seen you
since Gorman High.
I can't believe you're
here in California.
You look great.
What you been doing?
I-- I'm a writer.
A writer, wow.
Me?
I, I'm a survey taker.
You know, like when you--
when you go to the
movies, and someone
asks you how you liked it.
That is me.
Wow, that--
that's, um, amazing.
Oh, you want to dance?
I'm actually not a big dancer.
[dance music]
Check him out.
[cheering]
Oh my God!
I love this song!
[MUSIC - LOS DEL RIO, "LA MACARENA"]
[cheering]
[speaking spanish]
How did it go tonight?
It was great.
You should have seen them.
They loved me.
You work too hard.
[speaking spanish]
I will get better.
This production I'm
going out for, it's big.
It could change
everything for me.
[MUSIC - LOS DEL RIO, "LA MACARENA"]
Hey Mike, what's
going on out here?
I'm trying to sleep.
Do you mind?
I, um.
[speaking spanish]
We're late.
[chatter]
[dance music]
There.
[barking]
No, no, Monahan's
already here.
And we're five minutes
late, because you
had me taking your pictures.
Don't worry.
We'll zip right past.
He won't even notice.
Hey.
Hey, my friend.
You're late!
Gentlemen, this is not Club Med.
I am trying to run
a business here.
Sorry, sir.
I don't want to
hear any excuses.
Greenbaum, fix your tie.
Get to work.
Yes, Mr. Monahan.
Benny, you're Picking upthe Japanese at 10 sharp.
Wash the car.
I want it spotless.
In Japan, a dirty
car is an insult.
Good morning, Mr. Greco.
How's my favorite
patient doing today?
I'm doing good, doc.
How long is this little
dig going to take?
About an hour.
Hello?
Louis, I'm going
to be about an hour.
Take Babs for a mocha.
A what, boss?
A mocha.
It's like a coffee.
Right, boss, right.
Sal, give me the phone.
Bab wants to talk to you.
Bab wants to talk to you, boss.
Louis!
Thank you, stupid.
Little nitwit.
Cookums?
Hey there, baby cakes.
Listen, you go with Dom
and Louis for a mocha.
No, I don't want
to get a mocha.
I've already had two
of those things today.
Look, I saw these dressesin the window yesterday.
Can I go get them?
Sure, honey pie, you go ahead.
All right, baby, I love you.
Love that woman.
Dr. Hansen, your wife
wants to know where
to book a table for tonight.
Oh.
Try the Chef Phillipe, doc.
Classiest joint in town.
Expensive, but
worth every penny.
Good tip, Vera.
They got a roasted duckover there, doc, to die for.
And the dessert,
forget about it.
The rum glazed fruit, try that.
Tell them Sally G sent you.
OK.
Doc, we ain't gonna hurtone another, are we, doc?
Thank you, Mr. Greenbaum.
Oh!
Watch it.
Gentlemen, I give
you, Shady Acres.
You see the drought
resistance plants that I
was-- thank you, Mr. Greenbaum.
These are the
drought resistant--
thank you, Mr. Greenbaum.
These are the drought resistantplants I was talking about.
What do you call those
beautiful goldfish
that you have in your country?
[MUSIC - LOS DEL RIO, "LA MACARENA"]
Greenbaum!
What the hell do you thinkyou're doing, Greenbaum?
Are you trying to blow mydeal, you pathetic little worm?
I'm sorry.
- Get out!
- I'm sorry.
Out!
Out!
[MUSIC - LOS DEL RIO, "LA MACARENA"]
Benny!
Benny!
Can you turn the music down?
I'm trying to work here?
Relax, have some fun.
Will you turn the music down!
Down.
Don't tell them.
You're still writing aboutthat cat who goes to Pluto.
It's Venus,
Venus, Benny, Venus.
Mikey, name one cat
whoever went to Venus.
Are you completely--
[phone ringing]
Hello?
- How are you, dear?
- Hi, Mom.
We got your letter today.
That's a very fancyautomobile you're driving.
Fancy, shmancy, that wasa damned stupid thing to do,
Mike.
Hi, Dad.
What you do, you financedit, you leased it, what?
I, uh, I paid cash for it.
Cash?
Where'd you get
that kind of money?
I told you.
I sold a story.
Mike, listen to me, please.
You gotta think
about your future.
You were born to be a plumber.
Cats come and go.
But toilets are here forever.
People will always need aplace to take a crap, Mikey.
Always nice
talking to you, Dad.
He's upset, dear.
I think he's worried whether ornot you have met a nice girl.
Listen to your mother.
You're going to end up likeyour idiot sister, who sits home
all day watching the stupid TV.
Hello, I can hear you.
How many times I
have to tell you,
my research is very important?
Important for who?
Maybe just for mankind andthe future of our planet, Dad.
Planet, shmanet,
you're a mental case!
Instead of finding a husband,you sit in your room all day
with your martian friends.
Well, at least I'm not sittingin other people's shit all day.
Hey, hey, hey, don't knockthe hand that feeds you,
young lady.
I don't see any of youralien friends supporting you.
I don't need
your support, Dad.
Contact will be made soon.
Good, maybe one of
your space schmucks
will come down and
abduct you, maybe
put a ring on your finger.
Oh, what a whack.
So have you?
Have I what?
Met anyone.
Yeah, actually, I
am seeing someone.
He's met someone.
So who is she, dear?
Just this girl.
In fact, she's waiting
for me right now.
So I got to go, Mom.
Bye.
So where's the babe?
Isn't there somewhere
you're supposed to be?
Excuse me, Mr. Lady Killer.
[dance music]
Pardon me?
Is the girl with
the macarena here?
No.
[dance music]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Michael?
Ma, who died?
No one died, why?
Because you're calling me at4:00 in the morning again, Ma.
You have daylight
savings mixed up, dear.
It's seven.
That's Jersey time,
Ma, Jersey time.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was just wondering,
is it for real?
If what's for real?
This girl, the
one you're seeing.
Is it serious?
Come on, Ma!
Yeah, it's serious, OK?
It is?
Yeah, but I gotta get upfor work in a couple hours.
So please?
Who is she?
Goodnight, Ma, goodnight.
Michael?
Michael?
[chatter]
Excuse me.
[dance music]
You're up.
Come on.
[dance music]
OK, thank you, ladies.
Last look, ladies.
All right, that's all.
Miss thing?
You with the red
thing on your hip.
Me?
Come here.
Maggie, Maggie, let's notwaste time with her, OK?
Please, trust me on this one.
The girl's got
something special.
I don't see it.
That's why I'm
the choreographer.
Guys, guys, guys,
we don't have all day.
Sweetie, what's your name?
Lola Gomez.
And tell me about
yourself, Lola.
I'm from Mexico.
How long have
you been dancing?
Since I was five.
How long have you lived here?
About six months.
You have a work permit?
Yes.
Hal, we got to move it along.
I couldn't agree more.
OK, call backs are in a week.
We'll be in touch.
Thank you.
And if you make
it back, we'll need
to copy of the work permit.
Of course.
Thank you.
[speaking spanish]
Jose, clear the
table, mi amor.
Thank you.
What is wrong?
[speaking spanish]
You can tell me.
What is it?
Do not worry.
Things will work out.
You will see.
They promised you
the papers, no?
Lola, even if it don't workout, there are other ways.
Lucinda, she paid
some guy to marry her.
She got her green card.
Raul, this is my niece.
When she marries, it willbe for love, not a card.
Turn the chicken.
I'm not worried about that.
Then what?
These dancers I'm
up against here,
they come from rich families.
They went to the best schools,had the best teachers.
They've performed inplaces I can only dream of.
Lolita, money is nothing.
[speaking spanish] what
they do not have, heart.
But I'm so scared.
What if they don't pick me?
If you want it, Lolita,
set the fire free.
I have.
No, no really, set it free.
Yes!
Yes!
[speaking spanish]
[dance music]
[clapping]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Mike, did I wake you up?
Ma, you are doing it again.
It's your father.
He's such a worry wart.
His blood pressure is up again.
He'd like to know.
Know what?
What this girl's
intentions are.
What?
He'd like to
believe it's serious.
Mom, I told you already.
I know it's serious.
But how serious?
Serious, Ma, serious, sovery, very, incredibly serious.
In fact, you know what?
We're living together.
You happy now?
You live together?
Yeah we do, OK?
Goodnight, Ma.
Christ.
Mike, got any quarters?
Are you serious?
You said you were
bringing quarters.
All I got is a five.
Go get some change.
[MUSIC - LOS DEL RIO, "LA MACARENA"]
Mike!
Mike!
What?
Jesus, what are you doing?
She was right here, Benny.
She was right here.
Who?
That dancer girl
from the club.
You got to get a grip, man.
You've got to stop
thinking about her.
I can't.
Give it up, Mikey.
You're never going to get her.
Why not?
Because she's probably goingout with someone who can dance,
like John Travolta.
What are you saying?
I can't dance.
I'm saying you
dance like a duck.
And hips, shake,
shake, shake, and turn.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
Goes hips, and hips, shake,shake, shake, and turn.
OK, come on.
Find your partner.
Let's go.
One, two, three, four, five,six, seven, eight, yeah, OK.
Let's see some energy.
Keep it going.
[phone ringing]
Ma.
No, it's your father.
My God, don't you
people ever sleep?
Listen to me.
Your mother is in
a panic, all right?
She was up all night.
Her ulcer is all flared
up and everything.
Now, what's with this girl?
Are you really living with her?
Look, I'm trying
to sleep here, OK?
I cannot talk about
this right now.
The hell you can't.
You know, we have--
Mikey, I gotta go!
I want to finish this
later, take care.
Why don't you save
us all some money,
go into the demolition business.
The resort's number is here.
You can use this plate.
And you may drink
from this glass.
Please, be sure to turnthe gas off, if you could.
Now, Lulu gets hermedicine at 4:00 o'clock.
You will talk to her
twice a day in English
so she doesn't get lonely.
Yeah, my little pumpkin.
Don't leave the lights on.
And do not use this room.
I don't like fingerprintson the marble.
Now, when you take
a bath, a bano.
It's bano.
Whatever.
Don't even think about
using my bathtub.
There's one in the
maid's quarters.
OK.
And stay away
from my Ming vase.
This is worth more thanyou'll see in your lifetime.
Selma, let's go!
Come on!
Coming.
Bring my bags.
[speaking spanish]
Oh, be sure and start
my car for the battery.
Oh, and one other thing.
I don't want anyone, Imean anyone, in the house.
Is that understood?
Yes, of course.
No, no, no, no,
I mean, comprendo.
Christ, she's got it.
I don't trust her kind.
Enjoy yourself, Lola.
All right, I'm ready.
I'm gonna miss you.
Get in.
OK, let's go.
[dance music]
[beeping]
[engine sputtering]
Is there a problem?
Oh, I don't know.
It just died.
Tony.
Lola.
Lola.
Lola, why don't you pop thetrunk, and let's take a look,
OK?
Hey, Mikey, you give
me a hand over here, OK?
I think this lady'shaving the same problem I
had with my Ferrari last week.
Come on.
Don't you ever get
tired of the bullshit?
Hey, just focus, Mikey.
Come on.
Lola, this is-- this isMike, my business partner.
And we actually-- we
buy, sell, and own
several of the propertieshere in this neighborhood.
OK, give it a shot.
Should be all set?
It works.
Thank you, Mike.
You're welcome.
Yeah, Thank you, Mike.
Oh, you know what?
You better call London,
see if that $10 million
transfer made it
into our account.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
I really appreciate
you fixing my car.
It's not a problem.
Is there anything else
that needs fixing?
No, nothing I can think of.
OK, then, you know, maybe--
maybe we could have dinner?
That's very kind of you.
But, no thank you.
You have a boyfriend
or something?
No, but you've got a wife.
Actually, my wife, shepassed away three years ago.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
No, no, it's all right.
It's all right.
I just-- just thought we could,you know, have dinner and talk.
OK.
But just dinner, nada mas.
Yeah, absolutely, where
would you like to go?
Che Philippe.
How about I pick
you up at eight?
How about I meet you there?
Yes.
We'll meet at 8.
OK.
[phone ringing]
Leanne speaking!
Leanne, Mike
Greenbaum calling.
Hi.
Mike, hi, how are you?
Good, you know, I just
wanted to call and thank
you for the other night.
I had a really great time.
Yeah, me too.
It was-- I mean,
I never imagined
that you like the macarena.
That place was
really rocking, huh?
Especially when that
masked girl came on.
I know.
Isn't she great?
Wherever she is, the
crowd just goes wild.
You wouldn't
happen to know where
she is tonight, would you?
Well, it's
different every night.
But, hey, if we hit some ofthe clubs, we could find her.
I would love to, actually.
But my car is in the shop.
No problem, I'll
swing by, really.
How's 9:00 o'clock?
Good, see you then.
Woo-hoo!
Hey, honey pie,
where's junior?
She's at my mom's.
Where are you going?
The office, Monahan, he'son a mission, I'm telling you.
Bullshit, Tony, youare not dressed for work.
It's night.
Things, they're a
little more casual.
Are you wearing cologne?
No, it's the Japanese.
They get very--
You are a lying
bastard, you know that?
Do you want to destroy
our lives, Tony?
You know what, how about this?
How about I help you with that?
Let's just destroy everything.
Deborah!
Why not!
Why not Tony!
How about this!
How about this!
No!
How about it?
Don't, don't do it, Debbie.
Either jump or
shut up, will you!
Mind your own
business, you fat ass!
Mind my own business,
you white trash!
Deb!
Come on inside.
Look, I'm calling the office.
Then call them, Tony!
I'm trying to have dinner!
Oh yeah you big pig!
This is you!
Hello?
We got a problem.
Tony, what's up?
You know the rich
chick in the Porsche?
She's waiting for me,
but Deb is freaking out.
And I can't get down there.
So you got to go.
Call the restaurant.
Deb is going to kill herself.
I'm calling the police now.
You call the police!
And you get the
zookeeper to get you.
I got $13 in my pocket.
They wouldn't even let
me in to Che Philipe.
I'm not asking you to eat.
Just go down there and
apologize for me, OK?
You tell your
boss that you have
a life outside of the office.
Honey, I am telling him.
Mr. Monahan, I am spendingthe evening with my family.
And that is that.
Uh-huh.
Shit.
I'm just going to
be a minute or two.
- Excuse me?
- Sir, may I help you?
Yeah, I'm looking fora young woman named Lola.
This way.
Hi.
Hi.
I, oh, excuse me.
Seat.
Thank you.
I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
Tony is not going to make it.
He did his thing.
And so he, unfortunately, had--
I'm so glad you could come.
I'm glad I don't
have to eat alone.
Mademoiselle has orderedthe chateau Latreau, 1977.
Would you care for the same,or perhaps another vintage?
Well, actually, that's--the thing is, I don't.
Oh, it's very nice.
You should taste it.
She is absolutely correct.
It is one of the best bottlesyou can get in the $300 to $500
range.
Oh, the special
for today for two,
which I have already
suggested, is the duck.
Would you like to share it?
Share it?
No, I want my own.
She has quite an appetite, no?
Monsieur?
Well, actually, I'm not surethat I'm going to be able to--
Table for my guests.
The duck sounds great.
I would like a duck.
Two-- two ducks.
Oui, oui.
I recommend the Merlot, 1966.
A bit more expensive, but verycomplimentary to the duck.
You know, I'm--
I'm not--
Oh, I love that wine.
Very good.
So it sounds like you and Tonyare doing a lot of business.
Oh, yeah, well, you
know, we're buying.
And we're selling.
What do you do?
What is it that you do?
Internationalarchitecture landscaping.
We own offices all
around the world.
So you must travel a lot.
- Sometimes.
- That's great.
The contract.
Can be.
But since I broke up with myex-boyfriend Prince Alberto
III, it's been a bit lonely.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no, don't be.
He was a jerk.
What about you?
Me?
A guy like you must beinvolved with a beautiful girl.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's really beautiful.
To you and your girl.
Yeah.
[applause]
Hi.
I'm Leanne.
- I remember you.
Your Mike's friend.
Yeah, know where he is?
He stood you up?
Big time.
It's a good thing I'm here.
I love those rings.
Thanks.
Check this out.
Very cool.
It would look cool on you.
Want a shot of Jagermeister?
Jager's my flavor.
Be right back.
Focus, focus, focus.
A very rare
vintage, which will
superbly accompany the salad.
Thank you.
Aren't you going
to smell the cork?
Smell the cork?
It is a $700 bottle of wine.
Perfect.
Could I have some ice, please?
Ice?
Yeah, I'm a little.
A flower for the lady.
Ah!
For you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Your girlfriend is very lucky.
Why's that?
Because you're
a really nice guy.
[yelping]
[dance music]
May I recommend a digestivand after dinner drink?
Yes.
A rare, 90-year-old cognac,like velvet under your throat.
Please.
Sir?
If you wouldn't--
excuse me for a moment.
I'm going to go to the restroom.
Don't forget to
wash your hands.
Please excuse me.
[phone ringing]
[moaning]
Hello.
Thank God you're home.
Listen.
I'm not home.
Benny, I really, really
need your help here, OK?
I told you.
I'm not home.
Wait!
Dammit.
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Tony?
Mikey, what's up?
I'm sitting in
a very expensive
meal with $3 in your pocket.
Where are you?
Where am I?
What do you mean, where I am?
you know exactly where I am.
Che Phillipe, huh?
Fancy.
Fancy.
Oh, Mike, come on.
We can't really afford
a place like that.
You know that?
You're buying, huh?
What's the occasion?
Listen to me.
Get down here, and bring
me some money right now.
I wish you had
called us earlier.
We just ate.
Tony, don't do this to me.
But you know what?
Tell her happy birthday.
Don't hang up on me.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
And thank you for calling.- Don't do that!
Bye.
Dammit!
Dammit!
Greenbaum?
Mr. Monahan?
What in God's
name are you doing?
I-- I--
I-- I--
I-- I was feeling a
little dizzy, sir.
So I thought I shouldget some fresh fresh air.
No, no, Greenbaum.
What are you doing here
in this restaurant?
Well, I'm--
I'm on a date, sir.
Yes, well I'm here on acrucial business meeting.
And I will not
let the Matsutushi
group see you like this.
No sir, no, they won't, sir.
They won't.
Do you realize they
almost walked out
after your little dance number?
Now, I have the
contract on the table
out there, Greenbaum, a contractworth over $100 million.
And I will not let
you screw it up.
No, no, no, no, sir.
I'll stay completely
out of sight, sir.
No, no, Greenbaum.
You will leave this
restaurant now.
Now, Greenbaum!
Go.
Go.
Are you OK?
Fine.
Fine.
Sir, the check.
$312.
Oh, no, $3,125.
Without tip.
Gentlemen.
Psst!
I'm still hungry.
Would you like
some more dessert?
- Yes.
- OK.
Do you have the
rum glaze fruit?
The speciality.
Two.
Maurice?
That looks delicious.
Delicious.
$3,200.
Greenbaum!
Initial and the signature.
[gasping]
What's the matter?
I have an allergy.
What is happening?
He's having an allergy attack.
Maurice, call an ambulance.
Sir, what is wrong?
Are there
strawberries in this?
Oui, the best!
[gasping]
You must be sitting.
Greenbaum!
[gasping]
[sirens]
[chatter]
I don't know!
Greenbaum, you're fired!
[sirens]
Set me up an IV!
I'm OK.
I'm OK.
No, it's OK.
I feel better.
You're feeling better?
I get these flare
ups from time to time.
The thing is--
[gasping]
He's better?
He's OK?
Could be a bad reaction
to food poisoning?
Food poisoning?
No!
Nurse!
Nurse, get these
people out of here!
100 joules!
- Clear!
- Again.
[shouting]
[giggling]
[MUSIC - LOS DEL RIO, "LA MACARENA"]
[giggling]
He's got a pulse.
I'm sorry about
the strawberries.
I had no idea that you
were allergic to them.
Look, I didn't
really have a seizure.
I was supposed to go inthere, tell you that Tony
couldn't make it, and go home.
Why didn't you?
I don't know.
It just got so out of control.
I knew I didn't have
money to pay the check.
And the waiter just
keep coming, and coming.
But I thought you and Tonywere big time developers.
No, we're broke.
Tony just said that
to impress you.
You kept ordering
all this expensive food
knowing you had no money?
I kept ordering.
You ordered a whole
duck, for Christ's sake!
[laughter]
What?
What's so funny?
I almost had a heart attack.
Why didn't you just
tell me the truth.
You rich people have no ideawhat it's like to be broke.
I was completely humiliated.
It wasn't that bad.
Not that bad?
I ditched the check,
got fired from my job,
and got fried at the hospital.
What else can go wrong?
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Mike?
Guess where we are?
Ma?
On a plane.
They have phones
on airplanes now.
What are you doing
on a plane, Ma?
Well, we just took off.
We're coming for the weekendto meet your girlfriend
and see your place.
Why, why, why,
why, why didn't you
tell me you're coming to visit?
Well, I wanted to.
But your father wanted
to surprise you.
Aren't you excited?
Yeah.
Now, it's flight?
409.
409 from Newark,
arriving at 5:10.
OK, Ma, see you there.
I'm dead.
I'm dead.
I'm so dead.
What's wrong?
My parents are flying
in for the weekend.
So?
So my family thinks I'm thishotshot writer with a big house
and an expensive car.
You lied to them too?
I had to.
They don't get it, you know?
My dad wants me to be a plumber.
I'm such a schmuck.
Well, why don't you
bring them to my house,
and tell them it's yours?
You mean, like I own it?
You're a good
liar, aren't you?
Yeah.
I mean, no.
This isn't happening.
I got to pick up Monahan andthe Japanese in half an hour.
Why am I doing this?
Do you think we'll
able to find him?
There he is.
There he is!
My baby!
Hi, Ma.
You look skinny.
Please, he looks terrific.
Mikey, how are you?
Right over here.
This is yours too?
Mikey, how can
you afford this?
I told you.
I'm doing very well.
Certainly.
This is my driver Bernard.
Mr. and Mrs. Greenbaum.
Is he Jewish?
Ma.
I'm just asking.
Ma, come on.
Your sister says hi.
She's sorry she
couldn't make it.
Thank God.
We can't wait to
meet your girlfriend.
Oh yeah.
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Benny.
Where the hell are you?
We're waiting.
Our friend's flight
leaves in one hour.
I'll be there in
15 minutes, sir.
No!
Five minutes, Benny, fiveminutes, do you understand?
Or you are fired?
Yes, sir.
[tires squealing]
Sorry.
[honking]
There you go, ma'am.
Well, here we are.
Oh my!
Oh my!
It's gorgeous!
Look!
I don't believe this.
I had no idea you
were doing so well.
Ma, Ma, no, no,
Bernard, get the bags.
You're a dead man.
Mike, how much do
you tip out here?
I wouldn't worry about it.
Put it away.
- What's right is right.
Anything else, sir?
No, you know what, Bernard?
Why don't you take
the weekend off?
Bernard?
Oh, really, ma'am, you don't--
Your tip.
$10 you gave him, Doris?
Are you trying to ruin us?
Look at this place!
It's so beautiful!
And so tasteful.
Very impressive, son.
I knew you'd make us proudout here, but this place!
Dad, Ma, this is Lola.
This is the girlfriendwe've heard so much about?
Girlfriend?
- She means fiance?
- Fiance.
I told you he was
hiding something, Doris.
Welcome to the family, dear.
Laura.
Lola.
Lola, so pretty.
Enough with the
kisses, Max, enough.
OK, OK.
A little something for you.
Thank you.
Why don't you shoe
them to our room?
Dinner will be ready soon.
I'll get the bags.
Let me give you a hand.
Our own room.
Thank you, dear.
Beautiful table, so festive.
Where did you learn this, dear?
I learned everything
I know from mi mama.
So where is your mother?
In Paris, with my
Papa in business.
And what sort ofbusiness is your family in?
Gardening.
Oh, you mean like gardeners?
Dad.
Architectural landscaping.
We create parks andgardens all over the world.
That's quite a
big chunk there.
How does your fatherhandle that all by himself?
My uncle Jose, he is in chargeof the entire United States.
Well, you tell your uncle
Jose, parks and gardens
need plumbing too, you know?
Dad, come on.
Oh, come on.
Tell me, Lola, where isyour family from originally?
Guadalajara.
Guadalajara, that's
in the Mediterranean.
Doris.
It's in Africa.
Actually, it's in Mexico.
Please, help yourselves.
What is this?
Tostadas.
Try it.
Oh.
Michael, I'm so happy.
I always knew you would
find a nice Jewish girl.
Yeah, they're all nicetill after they get married.
Dad, she's not like that, OK?
You've got a
prenuptial, right?
Dad.
How do we know Little
Miss Guadalajara here
isn't some kind of gold digger?
Dad.
Is everything all right?
Great, great, sweetie.
Yes.
This looks so tasty.
[gasping]
Ma.
Hot.
Drink some water.
It's just very hot
salsa. you'll be OK.
I'll get some ice.
Did you see that?
I knew it.
Mom and dad, don't worry.
We already talked to a rabbi.
And she's going to convert.
She is?
Oh yeah, definitely.
But, you know, it's kind
of a very touchy issue.
So don't bring it up.
No, no, not a word.
Here's the ice.
Are you OK?
Much better, thank you.
So tell me, how
long did the rabbi
say the conversion would take?
Excuse me?
You know, the rabbi,
sweetie, that we
went to visit the other week.
Oh yes, how long?
[speaking spanish]
Pardon?
Half an hour.
Half an hour?
New age rabbi, very quick.
Oh, yes, speedy rabbi.
In LA, people convert sooften that it's very easy.
Great little place,
Jew can be a Jew too.
You can zip in, you zip
out, boom, you're a Jew.
Quick.
Drive through temple.
[laughter]
Lola, that was such abeautiful evening, so festive,
gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.
I'm proud of you Mikey.
Thanks Dad.
You did good.
I'm so happy you guys came.
Goodnight, Dad.
Goodnight.
Sleep well.
Goodnight.
Goodnight, Dad.
What?
Why don't you tell me
what's going on here?
First I'm your girlfriend,then your fiance,
now I'm converting?
By tomorrow we'll
have three kids.
Everything is fine!Everything was going fine.
Your cross just slipped out.
Now you're
blaming my religion?
[speaking spanish]
Speak to me in English.
You want English?
How is this?
Buenas noches.
Mike, dear?
I need a glass of water
for your father's teeth.
Oh, downstairs,
Ma, in the kitchen.
Can I get it for you?
Oh, no, no, I'll go get it.
You go inside and
get some sleep.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Night.
Goodnight.
Don't tell me you
want to sleep in here.
I don't have a choice.
I said you could stay inmy house, not in my bed.
I'll sleep on the floor.
There are five other
bedrooms in this house.
But my parents are outside.
How would they know?
You don't know my mother.[knocking]
Michael?
Michael are you there?
Come in, Ma.
Just wanted to say
goodnight again, dear.
And thank you for dinner.
Those tostadas, I'll
never forget them.
You're welcome.
Goodnight.
Goodnight, Ma.
Get out of my bed!
Out!
Out!
Can I help you?
She's got a bad tooth.
Mr. Greco's in Vegas.
But he said the doctor
will fix her up.
But it's not possible.
What do you mean it's notpossible, you little bitch,
I'm in pain!
He's not here.
What's going on?
Not here, huh?
Not here?
We want you to fix her tooth.
Find a dentist.
Don't mess with us.
You either fix her tooth, or I'mgoing to shoot you in the face.
No, no, the dentist
will fix her tooth.
Take her over there
in the dental room.
We'll be right there.
Don't touch me.
Come on, stupid.
You are so stupid,
and you're fat.
What the hell is going on?
- You have to fix her tooth.- Me?
I'm not a dentist.
And I'm not the
owner of this house.
What?
This is not my house.
What do you mean
it's not your house?
Who the hell's house is it?
I also a confession to make.
This house belongs to my boss.
He's on vacation.
I'm just house sitting.
He's the dentist.
You mean, my
parents are sleeping
in the house of some dentist?
Yes, but it's OK.
He's away for two weeks.
I'm dead.
I'm so dead.
Doc!
She's in pain!
Let's go!
- You have to do it.
- Are you crazy?
I don't know how to do that.
So pretend, they're dangerous.
They're hit men.
Doc, we're losing her.
If she dies, everyone dies.
Michael, do you have guests?
Go back to sleep, OK.
Please, go back to bed.
Don't talk to your mother likethat, you little piece of shit.
Sorry, Ma.
We have to go.
Hello, hello, I'm Doris.
Hi, I'm Louis.
What's taking so long?
Let's go, hurry up.
You go fix him a drink.
And I'll take care of her.
OK, let's just have
a drink over here.
Just give me some drugs, lady.
So Louis, what
exactly do you do?
I run the show for Mr. Greco.
Show business, are you
an actor, or a writer?
What do you do?
I make people disappear.
A magician?
Splendid, have a cookie.
I made them myself, fat free.
Can I have two?
Sure.
Thank you.
Doctor, she's ready.
OK, we're going
to fix her right up.
So don't worry.
OK, now, where does it hurt?
OK, do you brush much?
Is this an interview?
You gonna fix my tooth?
Sure.
Open wide.
Aye!
Excuse me.
It's her wisdom tooth.
It's infected.
What do you want me to do?
- You have to pull it?
- Are you crazy?
I can't pull a tooth.
You have to!
I cannot do it!
What's with the chitchat?
We're going to be withyou in just a jiffy, sir.
We're just a little--
we're just consulting.
You got to try the
old lady's cookies.
They're unbelievable.
What kind?
Oatmeal, fat free, come on.
Ow!
Ow!
Just give her something.
Novocaine, it
will knock her out.
Good.
[moaning]
Me?
Yes, you're the dentist.
This will do it?
Oh yes, she will
sleep for three days.
Is this going to hurt?
No, you'll just
feel a little prick.
It won't hurt.
I promise.
[yelp]
Doing the best I can.
Relax, it will be very quick.
[shrieking]
So when the medication wearsoff, she should be like new.
Doc, your mom's
the best, all right?
So you better have
respect for her.
OK.
Yeah, you better have respect.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Oh, you should try this shit.
Thank God it's over.
What are you
trying to do to me?
I thought I was helping you.
Helping me?
How?
How are you helping me?
By letting you
stay in my house.
It's not your house.
Your parents don't know that.
Relax.
Relax?
How would you feel
if your mom was
sleeping in some
random dentist's bed
serving cookies to a hit man?
I thought I had
honesty problems.
You know something,
you're right?
You want honesty.
I'll give you honest.
Why don't we wake
up your parents
and tell them the truth,right now mister big shot.
Are you trying
to destroy my life?
You are not the onlyone taking risks here, OK?
If my boss knew what
I was doing for you,
I would never get my
work permit, never.
I would lose everything.
I don't know why I'm
trying to help you.
You don't like me?
Fine, I'm not crazy
about you either.
But just keep this
up for two more days.
And then you never have
to talk to me again.
- Fine.
- OK, fine.
Fine.
Perfect!
[speaking spanish]
[spanish music]
[phone ringing]
[speaking spanish]
Hello?
Who?
She's not here.
She got it?
5:00 o'clock, Monday,
thank you, thank you.
Lola has made the audition!
[cheering]
[spanish music]
Surprise!
What are you doing here?
The people from
the show called.
You got your audition.
[shrieking]
Lola?
Who is this man?
It's not a man.
It's Mike.
Mike?
Hi.
You are here with him alone?
No, no, his parents are here.
Parents?
The dentist, he
came home last night.
The dentist is here.
[speaking spanish]
Who do we have here, Lola?
Uncle Jose, Aunt Alma,Anna, Chicito, and Miranda.
Lola has told us
so much about you.
I've heard a lot
about you, Jose.
We didn't come at a bad time?
Oh, no, not at all.
Maybe we should
leave, Jose, no?
No, please come in.
We have so much to talk about.
OK.
[speaking spanish]
How was your trip?
Bumpy, but worth it.
Vacations are very important.
You've been very kind to Lolita.
I thank you.
She's a wonderful girl.
They're going to make--
they're going to make
such a beautiful couple.
Who?
Who?
Mike and Lola.
Lolita and your son?
Yeah, they're engaged.
Lolita, why didn't
you to tell us
that you were getting engaged?
Because I wanted
to surprise you.
[cheering]
[singing spanish]
Cute cabana!
What is this?
Thanks for inviting
us to Che Phillipe.
I'm sorry we couldn't come.
But definitely thank
you for the invite.
Yeah, we got a little tied up.
This party is just
getting started.
Let's party!
Come on!
[singing spanish]
Say, Jose, you
know, we should be
doing some business together?
You and me?
Yeah, I could help
you a lot, you know?
I'm very good at what I do.
I know.
Lola told me you are thebest, but very expensive.
Jose, we're family.
I'll give you my best bargain.
In fact, first job for free.
Really?
Damn right, you tell
me what the problem is.
I'll fix it.
I don't know.
Come on, you ask anyone.
I keep my clients very happy.
Actually, I am
missing a tooth.
A tooth?
Right here.
Oh, I see.
Well, that's nothing.
If I were you, I'd have
them all pulled out.
All pulled out, my teeth?
Absolutely, that's what I did.
But don't let this
come between us.
You and me, we should set upan appointment for tomorrow?
Tomorrow.
Absolutely.
Moved in on my turf, Mikey.
You mean I got screwed
with your turf, Tony.
You know what?
I'm sorry about the
whole restaurant thing.
But come on, Mikey,
the gal is mine.
You're a sick person, Tony.
Very sick.
This is a party.
I'm having so much fun, honey.
Where's the hostess
of the house?
I haven't been able to see him.
Lola?
Lola?
Tony.
And this is
Tony's wife, Debbie.
Hi, nice to meet you.
Wow, you look wonderful
for a dead woman.
Excuse me?
You've been dead
for three years.
That's what he told me.
Uh-huh.
I've been dead
for three years.
Have I been dead
for three years?
Have I been dead forthree years, you bastard!
Debbie!
Debbie!
Don't tell me to calm down!
You're a bastard!
[cheering]
Achoo!
God, come on.
First our trip is ruined
by this stupid bug.
And now that little
bitch isn't even there.
[phone ringing]
[laughter]
[cheering]
[sneeze]
What the hell is going on?
I don't know.
Hey, amigo, have a cigar.
They belong to the dentist.
Give me those.
Get your thumb out!
Let go of me!
Lola!
Who are you people?
What are you doing in my house?
[speaking spanish]
No!
[speaking spanish]
Ah!
Gregory!
[growling]
Gregory, Gregory.
[barking]
Let's get some air.
Get out!
Get out!
What the hell
is going on here?
Gregory!
Gregory!
What the hell is going on?
Who are all these people?
Lola!
You're back.
Yes, we are.
What is this?
Get these people out of here.
Let me explain.
I'm so sorry, doctor.
All you people, out!
Out!
I'm calling the police!
I want these people out of here.
Everybody is going
to get deported!
Now, get out!
Hey, hey, who do you
think you are, pal?
I am Dr. Gregory Henson.
Doctor?
Well, you can leave, doctor,because everyone here
looks pretty healthy to me.
[laughter]
I'm the owner of
this house, sir.
You are not.
This is my son's house.
- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
It-- it's his house.
What?
Lola, is this true?
This is the real Dr. Henson.
Mikey, you mean this
is not your house?
No.
What?
I just said that
to impress you.
You are not a dentist?
Me?
No, I'm a plumber.
A plumber?
And you want wanted to
pull out all my teeth.
What?
All right, that is it.
Everybody out, go!
Come on, out, out,everybody, go, go, get out.
Please let me explain.
Lola, not only are youfired, but you can forget
about your legalization papers.
Now, get out.
Shoo, shoo, go on!
Shoo!
Henson!
I said everybody
get the hell out!
Mr. Greco, what a--
what a delightful surprise.
What can I do for you?
Forget about what
you can do for me.
Look at what you did to her.
I don't understand.
[mumbling]
Yeah, little cookie,
I know it's him.
Ow!
No!
I guess a blow job
is out of the question.
Oh no!
I-- I can glue it.
Let's get out of here.
I'm going to take
you for a mocha.
I'm so sorry.
But, but what
are we going to do?
The dentist is going tocall [speaking spanish]..
It doesn't matter.
I'm going home tomorrow.
Going home?
[speaking spanish]
Don't you see
everything I did?
I-- I've hurt you all.
And I'm not going
to do it any more.
I want to go to
the airport now.
I told you, Max, our
special fare tickets
are only good for tomorrow.
I've never been so
humiliated in my life.
I'm sorry, Dad.
Where did I go wrong?
How did I screw up?
I tried so hard to
guide you, to give
you opportunities I never had.
Dad, you don't understand.
It's not about opportunities.
Michael, I'm not finished!
Why the hell do
you think I named
the company Greenbaum and Son?
That's your problem, Dad.
It's all about
you, what you feel,
what you think I should do.
I have my own plans.
I have my own dream.
Dream?
This is a nightmare!
Max, your blood pressure.
He lied to us?
That's because nothing Iever do is good enough for you!
You hear this, Doris?
Now it's my fault
that he's a failure.
It's not about
success or failure, Dad.
I don't love you because
you're a plumber.
I love you because
you're my father.
It would be nice if
you could do the same.
If you loved me, if
you loved your mother,
you'd move back home.
I can't do that, dad.
Then there's nothing
more to talk about.
Are you sure?
No listing under Jose Gomez?
Thanks.
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Mike?
Lola, I have beenlooking everywhere for you.
I'm so sorry that
things got messed up.
No, it's my fault.
Tell your parents I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry this happened.Bye.
No, don't!
Lola!
Don't!
[phone ringing]
Beverly Hills Dental Shrine?
Hi, is Dr. Henson there?
It's urgent.
Dr. Henson, it's for you.
It's urgent.
This is Dr. Henson,
can I help you?
Dr. Henson, hi,
it's Mike Greenbaum.
I was at your
house this weekend.
It wasn't Lola's
fault. It was mine.
Is there any way
I could maybe get
her number from you, or maybeher address or something?
You listen to me,
you little twerp.
If you even step intothe 90210 zip code again,
I will have you arrested!
Ow!
She's here.
Excuse me, hold on!
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
PA: Final boarding callfor Mexican Airlines flight
number seven to Guadalajara.
Lola!
Lola!
Mike.
Where are you going?
Home to Guadalajara.
But your audition
is in two hours.
It's too late.
It doesn't matter.
Yes, yes, it does.
She has no papers.
It's all over, Mike.
No, no, no, it's not.
There's nothing we can do.
We can get married.
What?
I-- I love you.
Would-- would you
marry me, please?
Please.
Yes, yes.
[cheering]
Let's go, let's go!
Oh no, look at the line.
Hi, I am really
sorry to bother you.
But she has to besomewhere by 5:00 o'clock.
Is there any way
possible we could
maybe just go in front of you?
No, we've been waiting inthis line for three hours.
Please, please, it isreally, really important.
What part of no
didn't you understand?
She's dying.
She is?
Yeah, she could
go at any minute.
It's my last wish.
That's too bad.
Come on.
Paul, how can you
be so insensitive?
Look at the poor thing.
Here you go, honey,
you go right ahead.
Thank you.
Great, what has
gotten into your brain?
We've been waiting inthis line for three hours.
Oh, me, me, me, me,it's all about you, is it?
Obviously, the
sacrament of marriage
means nothing to a man like you.
What are you saying?
I'm saying that I do
not wish to exchange
the vows of marriage
with a man like you.
No, Darlene, don't say that.
Come on.
We are gathered here todaybecause Mike Greenbaum and Lola
Gomez have decided
to share their lives
in the holy state of matrimony.- I'm sorry.
We're in a little
bit of a rush today.
Can you kind of
cut to the chase?
What?
We do.
Thank you, sir.
We appreciate it.
I'm here, please!
It's not 5:00 o'clock yet!
Please open up!
I have a callback at five!
All right, come on.
Wait, wait, we're here.
We're here.
No, no.
My name is Lola Gomez.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
That was the last number.
She missed her time.
Please, I just
took her off a plane.
I ruined six people's weddingand broke the land speed
record to get her here, please.
Please, give her a shot.
Please, have a heart.
Lola, Lola.
Go for it, girl.
All right, two minutes,
and we're out of here.
- Hey.
- Would you sit down?
Yeah, sorry, no problem.
[dance music]
Look at that!
She's good.
Who's he?
This guy isn't
even on the list.
She's great!
Yes!
Yes!
She's something.
[cheering]
[yelping]
[dance music]