Lola (2019) - full transcript

LOLA

- Hi, Lola.
- Hi, Sam.

- Are you ready ?
- Almost.

Call me if you have a problem.

You can't do what you like,
we have rules in this shelter.

- Antoine.
- Hi, Lola.

Stay there !

- Okay ?
- Yeah, I'm going.

- When's the ceremony ?
- 12 o'clock.

Have you got 20 for the train ?

I'm on duty tonight.



So even if you're late
you can disturb me.

Mom, I always thought that with you
everything was possible.

- Hello.
- Is Philippe there ?

Are you here
for Catherine's ceremony ?

- Is he there or not ?
- Yes, yes.

- Come on.
- Don't touch me !

How could you do it ?

I didn't have much choice
for the time.

Anyway, I didn't think you'd come.

Are you shitting me ?

Why are you talking with that voice ?
Stop it, it's ridiculous.

Or what ?
You'll kick me out again ?

- Come on.
- Leave me alone !

Don't make a scene.



- Come on.
- Let go of me !

Get the fuck off me !

Be quiet !

Be quiet, please.

You have no decency, do you ?

Your mother'd be ashamed of you.

How could you do that to us ?

How could you do it to me ?

Just look at yourself.

Aren't you ashamed showing up like that
in front of our family and friends ?

Tricked up like a tranny.

Philippe, do you need any help ?

No, it's all right, he's going.

He's about to leave.

You realize you made me miss
Mom's funeral ?

- You can never put that right.
- Put what right ?

There's nothing to put right.

You ruined everything,
smashed it to pieces.

There's no family, nothing.

This is the last time we speak.
Now go. Get outta here !

You know what ?
I'm glad she's dead.

She no longer has to put up
with a fucking jerk like you !

What do you want to do with it ?

I don't know.

I've got no idea.

I think I want to keep her near me
for the moment.

Is that okay ?

It's not too creepy ?

I gotta go to work.

I can get someone
to replace me if...

No, it's okay.

I'm beat, I'm going to bed.

See you tomorrow.

After you've been to work.

Hello, you're through
to Catherine Ronsart.

Leave a message
and I'll get right back to you.

Shit !

- How are you ?
- Good.

The endocrinologist
has changed your treatment.

- How are you reacting ?
- Great.

- No side effects ?
- No.

It's doing me good.

Getting the hormones and being
in the shelter, I feel better.

About myself, I mean.

Didn't you say you'd come
with your mom today ?

No.

Well, she said she'd come with me
for the operations.

When we do them.

That's good because we can
schedule them for quite soon now.

I've had a slot come free.

- Is that okay ?
- Yeah, fine.

It's just that it's sooner
than I expected.

If you need more time,
we can change the date.

No, it's fine, don't worry about it.

From this point on,
we just follow the protocol.

There'll be two stages,
as planned.

The first in 5 weeks,
the second in 10 weeks.

Breast augmentation and
castration first, then reassignment.

This is for your private
health insurance to fill in.

And this is for your share.
All the details are there.

When does it have to be paid ?

As soon as possible,
but before the 6th.

Okay.

And my prescription ?

- Dr. Bratsky should have left it.
- Are you sure ? I haven't seen it.

Yes, she said
she'd leave it at reception.

It'll say Estragel and Androtabs.
50 milligrams.

There's nothing here, sorry.

I can leave her a message

and get it for tomorrow.
Thursday at the latest.

No, I'm all out. I can't miss any.

It's no big deal if you miss one day.

I know if it's a big deal or not !
Look again.

This is it. Sorry.

The guys here are hot !

- You know them ?
- Yeah, sort of.

We going ?

What's wrong ?

What's wrong ?

I was at the hospital earlier.

There's a slot free.
I can start the operations in 5 weeks.

Seriously ? That's awesome !

Shit, you knew all this time
and you didn't tell me !

- You don't look too pleased.
- I am.

- I don't know what to do about...
- What ?

- What ?
- The money.

My mom's dead
and all I'm thinking about is that.

- I'm a piece of shit.
- No, no...

You think Antoine will know
how to get the money ?

- I dunno.
- How much do you need ?

- Almost five thousand.
- Five thousand ?

- How much you got ?
- Five hundred eighty-seven.

Shit !

I'll fetch Antoine.

You're in deep shit.

Gonna put her on your table ?

In your shitty house
in your shitty town ?

- Is that it ?
- No, it's not.

I'm taking her to the coast,
to her childhood home. She asked me.

What's going on ?

- He's robbing me.
- You're the thief !

If you don't leave
I'll call the cops.

Go ahead ! I'll enjoy telling them
how he burgled my house

and smashed my store window !

- You're full of shit !
- Oh, yeah ?

Neighbors saw you.
"A vulgar girl with dyed hair,"

"a rucksack and a skateboard..."
That's not you ?

Do you know what a window costs ?

Do you know
what assault will cost you ?

What are you doing ?
Close that door !

Close that door !

Shit ! Close that door !

Give me a break !

Get out ! Get outta there !

- Stop this bullshit !
- I'm not leaving her !

- Don't you touch that !
- Lola !

You, stay where you are !

What are you doing ?

- You're fucking crazy !
- Shut your mouth !

Look,

it's simple.

It's up to you.

Either you get out, right now,

or we go.

- Where ?
- To the coast.

To the house.

How many times are they gonna call ?

It's not them, it's work.

So what's your decision ?

But I'm telling you,
if you get out you leave her here.

I'm not leaving her !

I'll call you later.

Five minutes.

The keys.

You dumped me
like a piece of shit once before.

Is it good ?

Not really.

Not too expensive ?

The usual.

The usual ?

Are you shitting me ?
Do you think I didn't see you ?

- I'm broke, that's all.
- In my family we don't steal.

Understand ?
We're not thieves.

Go and pay for it, now.

Or what ?

Or you stay here and I carry on alone.

Little jerk !

I got you this with the change.

And some smokes for me.

- Can I smoke ?
- No.

Have you quit ?

Okay.

- This is Mom's !
- Don't touch that.

- Why ?
- Just leave it alone.

- More songs than I thought.
- Put it back.

So you're calling yourself Lola ?

Classy !

And that Arab kid earlier,
is he your boyfriend ?

That "Arab kid" has a name: Samir.

- Anyway, why do you give a shit ?
- I dunno.

Yeah, you're right,
I don't give a shit.

You chose your life,
do what you want.

You want to know who Samir is ?

He's the guy who helped me
when you kicked me out.

He got me into that shelter
so I didn't end up on the street.

If I hadn't met him,

I don't know what I'd have done.

He's the strongest,
coolest guy I know.

When his dad saw him
with his boyfriend, he strangled him.

He nearly killed him.

So he just left home, with nothing.

That's who Samir is.

- Stop at the next gas station.
- Why ?

I have to go to the bathroom.

- What are you doing ?
- You gotta piss, don't you ?

I'm not doing it here !

You got shelter over there,
what's the problem ?

Why don't I just piss right here
in your car ?

Stop busting my balls !
Go and piss !

- Who do you think you are ?
- Asshole !

Little fucker !

He's totally nuts !

Shit !

That kid's totally insane !

Shit !

Asshole !

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

How old are you ?

Eighteen.

What can I get you ?

I need to make a phone call.

What's that ?

My mom.

So can I use your phone, please ?

Sweetie, you really ought
to order something first.

I'm in trouble.
I got no money.

Please, it'll only take a minute.

If you like,
I can buy you a drink.

- Thanks. I'm not thirsty.
- Suit yourself.

Here.

Use mine.

Okay, I'll have that drink.

- A cava, please.
- Okay.

What are you playing at ?

- I do what I want.
- Who's he ?

Just some dickhead.

- What did you say ?
- Wouldn't you like to know !

I said you're a dickhead.

What are you trying to prove ?
Stop it !

- Come on, we're going.
- No, I'm good here, I'm staying.

Do what you like
but I'm not leaving without her.

Go on, then, take her !

Hands off ! He's my son !

- I'll do what I want.
- Asshole !

He's not my dad.
Look at him, the loser !

I'm the loser ?

Where were you
when I was caring for your mom ?

You don't even realize
it's your fault she got sick.

It's your fault she died.

You know what, Dad ?

She didn't tell you she was seeing me.
She was scared of how you'd react.

You're lying.

Believe what you want,
I don't care.

She's gone, it changes nothing.

To my baby, in memory
of that lovely day. I love you, Mom.

Here, this'll stop it swelling.

- All right ?
- Thank you.

Let me in, I just want to talk to him.
I won't hurt him !

- Why are you still here ?
- I'm sorry.

Let's go now.

- Where ?
- Let's go !

Are you okay ? Be careful.

I'm okay.

Come on, let's go.

This one's free.

The sheets have been changed,
they're clean.

It's sixty euros a night.
Is that okay ?

Yeah.

- I'll leave you, then. Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

You have the bed,
I'm not sleeping in it.

Look at the state you're in.
You take it.

I can sleep anywhere.

It's okay, no one'll see you.

I'm turning the light off.

How long had you been seeing her ?

About a year and a half.

Where ?

Mom came to me.

On the train.
We'd meet at the station.

Sometimes Antoine asked her
to come and see him at the shelter.

That guy, what for ?

To talk about me,
about how she could help me.

How often ?

That depended on you.

On the stories she made up.

But she hated lying to you.

It hurt her to do that.

What hurt her
was no longer having a son.

- She'd accepted me.
- Yeah, sure !

She called me Lola.

She should have told me.

She obviously didn't think so.

Anyway, goodnight.

Goodnight.

Hello, you're through
to Catherine Ronsart.

Leave a message
and I'll get right back to you.

Hello.

Do you need something ?

No, I just wanted some fresh air.

Can I have one ?

Thanks.

- Is it still busy ?
- No.

The last one left half an hour ago.

I should go to bed myself,
but I like this time afterwards.

Doing nothing for a while,
when it's quiet.

It feels like all of that
is just for me.

Is your daughter asleep ?

Yeah.

And is your nose okay ?

She's got character. That's good.

One should tell one's parents
to go eat shit now and then.

It shows courage.

You don't know what it's like.

Do you think you're the first person
to lecture me ?

Raising a kid
who puts you through hell...

- "Hell", seriously ?
- Yes, hell.

It started with nightmares
almost every night.

Then, one day...

he started tearing his clothes,

self-harming,

having panic attacks and meltdowns...

He'd start crying and screaming
about nothing.

It drives you crazy in the end.

One day the school called.

He'd slashed his arms
with a pair of scissors.

We saw shrinks.

We tried everything to help him.

We thought he'd grow out of it.

But no, it just got worse.

He started running away,
disappearing for days at a time.

His mother and I
were scared to death.

And then...

he started wearing girls' clothes,
cross-dressing.

And I just...
I lost it.

I couldn't bear it.

I had a son, not a daughter.

Do you have something against girls ?

He's fucking selfish.

Everything revolves around him,
he doesn't care how we feel.

He doesn't realize
what he put us through.

I'm going to bed.
Are you staying here ?

You know...

It's none of my business,
but I don't think anyone does all that

just to be shitty to their parents.
No one does that.

Goodnight.

Shit !

He likes that.
He's your new pal.

- Coffee ?
- Please.

- There you go.
- Thanks.

Is there a pharmacy nearby ?

Not here. You have to go to Stadenburg.
It's not far.

Good morning.

Okay ?

'Morning, Kaatje.
Did you sleep well ?

- Coffee ?
- Yes, please.

- It was murder last night !
- I can well imagine.

- A busy night.
- Yeah.

A good, strong coffee
will pick you up.

Jeez !
I haven't heard this for ages.

- Do you know this song ?
- No.

It's great, huh ?

Let's dance.

Come on.

- It's too early.
- It's never too early.

- It's always the right time to dance.
- You're crazy !

You're in a good mood.

- You're my favorite.
- Of course.

- Come and dance with us.
- No, I don't know how.

- Come and dance !
- Try !

- No, I don't know how.
- Dance !

Dancing does you good.

It's good for the body,
good for the mind...

Dance with Kaatje.

My princess !
Dance with me, please.

That's good.

What's wrong ?
Relax, you're all stiff.

Close your eyes.

That's it.

Let the music take you.

That's great. Just chill.
Yes, breathe it in.

Look at that ! A bit faster now.

And like this.

Swing your hips, raise your arms...

She could work with us.

Cut it out !

Oh, my goodness, she's dancing !

She's dancing, just look at that !

You're so pretty.

"I don't know how." What a liar !

She'd charm them all here.

That's true.

Good morning.

- What's he doing here ?
- He slept here.

Great !

- I'll get my stuff, we can go.
- Yeah.

- Do you want a coffee ?
- No, thanks.

Wait.

Here.
Someone called.

What's PRES ?

Why are you interested ?

Your mom left an envelope
with PRES written on it.

What envelope ?

- Can't you tell me what it is ?
- What was in it ?

We'll talk about it later.
I'll wait downstairs.

Take care.

Have a good trip.

Goodbye.

I can't see a thing.

It's nice here.

A bit gloomy but still nice.

Yeah, a shame they all speak Flemish.

I like it. It was Mom's language.

You could have learnt it.

There'd be no point where we live.

Why was it Mom who came to you,
not the other way around ?

I don't know,
that's just the way it happened.

We were still young and...

we didn't know
what we wanted to do.

I wasn't sure
I'd stay on at college.

Things just turned out
the way they did.

What did you want to do ?

What I wanted to be
was a gym teacher.

I liked that.

What does he want ?

Overtake, then.

Go on, overtake !

Take your time !

Asshole !

Still...

I never knew
you wanted to be a gym teacher.

So ?

- What ?
- You quit college to open the store ?

No, I never wanted to work there.
Are you kidding ?

- Why, then ?
- I had no choice.

We were broke
when your mom got pregnant.

At first my dad helped us,

but then he died and...
That was just before you were born.

I thought it was a passion
he passed on to you.

- Who ?
- Your dad.

My dad, passing on a passion to me ?

That shows you didn't know him.

No, he didn't pass on anything to me,
apart from the store.

- What ?
- Nothing.

- What's so funny ?
- I dunno.

I can't see you
as a gym teacher at all.

- Why ?
- You're not the type.

- What's the type ?
- Not you.

You mean my physique ?

If you'd seen me when I was 20...

That's it, have a good laugh at me !

- Did Mom listen to this ?
- Yeah.

Weird.

Do you miss her ?

Yes... a lot.

Not another, I don't believe it !

What's your problem ? Fuck you !

Asshole !

Go on, accelerate.

No cars there ?

Can you stop here ?

- Why ?
- I have to go to the pharmacy.

- Can't it wait ?
- No.

Okay.

Can you lend me some money ?

- I'll pay you back.
- No, it's fine.

What are you doing ?

- I'm coming with you
- Why ?

Because.

After what you did to me last night,
I'm in pain, so I'll come too.

Hello.

Hello. Here, I need this.

- Is it for you ?
- Yes.

- Sorry. I'm all out.
- What ?

Sorry.
What can I get you, sir ?

- What ?
- What's going on here ?

In French ?
I don't have those hormones in stock.

Hormones ?

- What's this about hormones ?
- Nothing.

- What do you mean, nothing ?
- Forget it.

- What is this bullshit ?
- Leave me alone !

- Are you taking hormones ?
- Are you stupid ?

Of course I am, Dad, I'm trans !
Haven't you noticed ?

- How long have you been taking them ?
- 14 months.

Who's prescribing hormones to a child ?
Don't you know it's dangerous ?

Mom was okay with it.
She signed the papers for me.

You're all insane !

See ?

You say she should have told you,
you'd have understood. No.

- You'll never change.
- What exactly do you mean ?

That it's our fault ?

That we made you wrong ?

So you're taking that stuff
to fix you, like fixing a car ?

I've had enough of this.

- Want to know what PRES is ?
- No.

Plastic, reconstructive
and esthetic surgery.

Shut up.

- I'm going to be operated on.
- I don't want to know !

Not because I have to be
"fixed like a car". Because I want to.

It's a fucking nightmare !

What was in the envelope ?

Money ?

If it was, you have to tell me.

She wanted to help me,
to be there when I did it.

You two really fucked me over, huh ?

Is this what you want ?

Here, take it.

All that time,
doing it behind my back.

Lionel !

Lionel, listen, please.

You and I will never agree.
You have your life, I have mine.

But I'm just asking for one thing.

To finish what we came here to do.
Okay ?

We'll do it for her.

The small path there
will be more discreet.

Leave her here for the moment.

We'll check there's no one around.

Are you coming ?

It's crazy.
It's all just as it was.

That's what your mom liked.

I was thinking that...

maybe we could do it
out the front there.

Right there.

What do you think ?

- Your mom liked it here.
- Yeah, sure !

- This place was hell.
- Not at all.

Yes, you were always arguing
with Gran and Grandpa.

Stop painting me as a monster
all the time.

I never left you by the roadside

or wanted to kill you,
like your pal Samir's dad.

Know why we stopped coming here ?
We could see you were unhappy.

You'd wake in the night, sweating.

Your cousins were always nasty to you,
so we stopped coming.

Even though your mother
was happy here.

- It's because you were ashamed of me.
- What ?

Just listen to yourself !

I stopped you having the career
you wanted, I stopped you coming here !

You tell yourself
that it was my fault.

It wasn't, it was yours !

You shouldn't have had a kid.
I never asked for this life.

Especially with a dad like you.

What was that ?

I believe you.

Let's do everything correctly.
Your ID card, please.

You too, sir.

Fetch me the declaration form.

Thank you.

- This isn't your card.
- It is.

No, it's not.

It says "Ronsart, Lionel."
That's not you.

It is, it's my old name.

What's all this bullshit ?

I'm trans, that's the "bullshit" !

I don't believe it.

I have to get landed
with a cross-dressing fag !

I speak Flemish.

- So ?
- So watch what you're saying.

I don't need your advice.
Understand ?

You think I'm scared of you ?

Are you scared now ?

Don't you touch him !

- What crime have we committed ?
- It'll cost you dear.

It's my car that got burnt, isn't it ?

It's nothing to do with him.

When's the operation ?

It should be in five weeks.

But now I don't know,
I may have to wait a bit.

We'll see.

Why do you want to do it ?

You're still a teenager.

You're only just eighteen.

It's normal to feel awkward
about your body,

to have complexes, I don't know...

Maybe when you're 25
you'll see things differently.

You'll change your mind.

I won't change my mind.

Anyway, whether I do it or not,
I'm already a woman.

You just have to accept it.

So why do you want to do it, then ?

If it changes nothing.

The difference
is that I'll feel fulfilled

in a body that feels right.

Aren't you afraid of the pain ?
It must hurt.

No, the pain is nothing compared
to what I've suffered all my life.

Do you have a girlfriend ?

A girlfriend ?

- You don't have a girlfriend ?
- No.

What's so funny ?

Yes, but... I'm totally lost here.

You're...
What are you now, a lesbian ?

Are you gay, will you become straight ?
I don't understand.

No, I'm not a lesbian.

I liked boys before
and I'll like them after.

It's not...
it's not the same thing.

Don't you want kids of your own ?

Maybe, but that's not the point.
Anyway, I'm still young.

It makes no sense.

Anyway, here you are.

This... is yours.

It's your money.

Your mother saved it for you,

so take it
and do what you want with it.

I'm sorry about all the rest.

I can't handle it.

It's... beyond me.

- Are you sure you'll be okay ?
- Of course I will.

Nineteen euros sixty, please.
Thank you.

Here.

It leaves in 5 minutes.

- Aren't you coming ?
- No, I'll stay here.

I have to sort out the car,
the insurance...

And I'll spend a few days
at the house. It'll do me good.

Well...

Here, I wrote this letter for Mom.
I want you to have it.

Okay. Well, see you.

See you.

Mom, I always thought that with you
everything was possible.

Do you remember you and Dad buying
me that telescope for my birthday ?

It was the best present I ever had.

Not just for seeing the stars,

but because it meant the three of us
spent time together.

Entire evenings when you told me
the names of stars and constellations.

We discovered my favorite:

Monoceros, the unicorn.

You told me that if I wanted
to believe in it, I could.

That what matters is what I believe,
not what others think.

When we look at the sky,
all we see are stars.

But we can also see magic shapes:

centaurs, eagles, dragons, unicorns...

Now I know there are other things
hiding behind appearances.

And that's thanks to you.

I hope you're better now.

Wherever you are.

I'll always be thinking of you

and I'm sure
one day we'll be together again.

I love you.

LOLA